Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Republicans in disarray!

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

The revolution will be supervised.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Come on, man.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

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    86Comments

    11. 11.

      WTFGhost

      Aw, man, did your parents forget your Sweet 16, because your sister was getting married to a greasy bohunk – whatever the eff a “bohunk” is – and school, and that bo… uh, that *person*, yes, person,  you were hoping would notice you, and, and, and… wow.

      I’ve never had a sweet 16 birthday in my life, and now, you’ve had one that reminds me of Molly Ringwald!

      ETA: finally looked up “bohunk” – Used as a disparaging term for a person from east-central Europe, especially a laborer. Eww. The movie suddenly makes me feel a lot more cringy than it used to.

      Reply
    12. 12.

      trollhattan

      My best ever birthday greeting was my toddler’s “Happy boodday” and so I offer you a heartfelt Happy boodday.

      And many more, just don’t be in a hurry and make each last.

      Reply
    16. 16.

      Tony Jay

      Really? I thought all Americans were required to forego their birthday celebrations in solidarity with President Pustule, who had his unpatriotically ruined by an ungrateful soldiery and five million radical leftist rioters?

      Will no one think of the King in Orange?

      Reply
    18. 18.

      Suzanne

      HBD, Cole. In my house, we believe in the Birthday Squid. May the Birthday Squid deliver many gifts, balloons, cake, and debauchery.

      Reply
    19. 19.

      WTFGhost

      @They Call Me Noni: He has *sweet* kitties?

      @WaterGirl: We tell him that, to make him feel good, 364/365 is leap years. On the birthday itself, we get to hammer him as hard as we like, so long as the hammer is not actually a physical hammer, and also doesn’t refer to the use of alcohol on his part, and also doesn’t… man, our blogfather’s life has gotten complicated!

      Reply
    20. 20.

      WTFGhost

      Also: John Cole, happy birthday; the world is better with you in it, and I hope you feel a touch of that happiness, and yes, even joy, today, just for you, in return for the good you spread.

      If for no other reason, you’re a constant reminder that people can change their minds for the better.

      Reply
    22. 22.

      japa21

      How could I have forgotten your natal day was one day after mine. I know how, I have had far more of those.

      Reply
    33. 33.

      Jackie

      Happy Birthday, JC! Enjoy the 70 degrees AC, and don’t forget WHY your electrical bill is ⬆️ when you receive it! LOL

      Reply
    37. 37.

      Currants

      Happy Birthday, JC! Hats off to you. I can’t handle 78 (my Swedish mother said to me less than a month ago that I should have been Icelandic).

      Hope you’re having a great day! When does Joelle arrive, by the way?

      Reply
    38. 38.

      espierce

      Happy Birthday, John!

      I celebrated my 72nd (yesterday) with my grandchildren and it doesn’t get much better then that!

      Reply
    39. 39.

      Nix Besser

      Wishing you many happy returns of the day. I may be just an infrequent commenter, but I am a devoted Balloon Juice reader. This blog and your leadership of it mean a lot to me.

      Reply
    41. 41.

      bbleh

      OMG happy birthday!

      A solstice baby — what does it MEAN?  Help, is there an astrologer in the house?

      Reply
    42. 42.

      Shalimar

      I sweat at 75.  No way will I ever leave the AC at 78 while i am home.  Also, too, living in Florida when you sweat at 75 degrees sucks.

      Reply
    44. 44.

      frosty

      Happy Birthday John! Thanks for the blog, the front pagers, and everything. Especially the night time posts, it’s good to hear from you.

      Reply
    51. 51.

      eclare

      @Shalimar:

      If I am even moderately active, like putting groceries in my car, I sweat at 70.  As it is, even with the A/C on, I have a frozen washcloth around my neck.  This next week is going to be tough in Memphis.

      Reply
    52. 52.

      WTFGhost

      @They Call Me Noni: Well, I kid, mostly. I’m struggling with being the substitute human for two kitties while my wife is rehabbing after a broken hip. Sometimes, they’re very sweet, and sometimes, they let me know I am not my wife, and *not* an adequate substitute.

      Reply
    54. 54.

      A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

      Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊 John! Enjoy the A/C!! I hate humid myself.

      Reply
    63. 63.

      Jeffro

      I can never remember if Cole is a half year older than me, or a half year younger…anyway…happy 55th or 56th, JC!

      Crank some ELECTRIC later (or tomorrow, if it’s already past your bedtime this evening =P  )

      Reply
    65. 65.

      They Call Me Noni

      @WTFGhost: how is your wife doing?  I’m sure the kitties miss her but, in their own way, appreciate your efforts and view you as a fine dispenser of food and treats until Mummy comes home. I know that’s how Gizzy and Tootsie felt when I was gone for a short spell and Mr. Noni was the available lap.

      Reply
    66. 66.

      Enhanced Voting Techniques

      Meanwhile in San Diego….

      But on World Refugee Day, masked immigration agents weren’t leaning against the off-white walls, waiting to grab people. They scattered Friday after seeing a clergy delegation led by Bishop-elect Michael Pham.

      “Like the story of Moses and Exodus, the Red Sea parted,” said observer Scott Reid of the immigrant-aiding San Diego Organizing Project.

      Said another: “We’ve never seen the hallways cleared out so quickly.”

      The result: Nobody was detained as immigration lawyers said would happen.

      So, much my cynical Atheist soul’s  shock, these evil bastard can’t stand the presence of a genuine Christian.

      Maybe that performative strike in Iran, you know they that they told Iran was coming so all nuclear material was evacuated and by Iran’s own account no one died, was really about how TACO dick is getting his ass kicked on immigration?

      Reply
    67. 67.

      Enhanced Voting Techniques

      By the way, one of the reasons it’s terrible all of these people lie all of the time about meaningless things is it makes it impossible to believe them when they’re talking about incredibly consequential things.

      ’cause right now this Iran War is looking like utter bullshit.

      Reply
    70. 70.

      BellaPea

      Happy birthday John Cole! Bless you for providing this space that gives us all sanity in these insane times we live in. My hubby is a former Marine, he said to tell you Semper Fi and Big Birthday Wishes!

      Reply
    79. 79.

      Elizabelle

      Happy birthday, John.  This next trip around the sun will be even better because Joelle is in it.

      Reply
    82. 82.

      Shalimar

      @Shalimar: Also, I hope you had a happy birthday, Cole.  I’m just a random nobody who doesn’t post that much so I don’t know if it means anything to say it, but I do mean it.  So there is that.

      Reply

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