Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Books are my comfort food!

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

The world has changed, and neither one recognizes it.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Tuesday Night Open Thread

Reader Interactions

97Comments

  2. 2.

    sab

    Has she been in hospital before?

    My first time I really needed an advocate. Emergency rush to hospital. First time there. I didn’t have my glasses so I couldn’t even order breakfast. Nurses didn’t notice and didn’t much care because they had patients with serious problems.

    Hospital people think everyone knows how hospitals work while most people have no clue.

  6. 6.

    Mr. Bemused Senior

    @sab: you are so right about hospital patients needing an advocate. Even when recovery is going well it’s important.

    John, go give Joelle a hug and kiss.

  7. 7.

    hueyplong

    If I ever say that my spouse looks like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and she finds out, well, man I just don’t know.

  9. 9.

    WTFGhost

    @hueyplong: Probably better that he didn’t have the brain-slip I’ve had, where I type “Mickey Rourke” instead of “…Rooney.”

    There’s always a way to make a marital situation worse, when you think about it.

  10. 10.

    Ohio Mom

    @sab: There’s the old joke, There’s two places you need a friend on the outside, prison and the hospital.

    At least Joelle is out of knees that need replacing.

  11. 11.

    cmorenc

    As a veteran of having both knees replaced, i experienced first-hand the movement from it typically involving one or two nights in hospital (1st on R knee in 2016) and the default for most cases being day surgery (L knee in 2021).  The really tough part by far is the first couple of weeks of PT/rehab, because your surgically modified leg comes out of surgery stiff as a racing model snow ski, and it’s absolutely essential that you begin working to bend it ASAP, unless you want failure as the outcome.  Physical Therapists who work with knee replacement rehab may seem sweet at first meet, but quickly begin to show their personality side as Parris Island Marine Corps Boot Camp DIs.

  13. 13.

    realbtl

    When I had both of my knee replacements I only survived by having friends bring food from the local deli. The hospital food sucked.

  14. 14.

    Ohio Mom

    This evening’s activities at Chez Ohio Family included attending a wedding via Zoom, dinner and lighting the Hanukkah candles and opening presents (socks for me, undershirts for Ohio Son, and a shirt for Ohio Dad; you’d think by now my choice of gifts would make Ohio Son think twice about continuing to insist on presents every night but he’s a stickler for tradition).

    Followed by a trip to the Graeter’s ice cream shop’s drive-through and folding today’s load of laundry.

    A productive and enjoyable evening all around.

  15. 15.

    sab

    @Ohio Mom: The thing with hospitals is that your loved one is also exhausted and wants and needs to go home to rest.

    But meanwhile there you are, stranded with no help.

    Nurses are great, but they are busy with really sick people.

  16. 16.

    Gin & Tonic

    When my son was hospitalized in Montreal, a friend brought in a sandwich from Schwartz’s. IYKYK.

  18. 18.

    TheOtherHank

    For no apparent reason I watched Pixar’s Up the other day and now I want to go over the bridge and have some ice cream at Fentons.

    Just to keep a bit on topic, my wife has been an orthopedic PT for more than 20 years. I think her attitude has evolved to something like “I know it hurts, but it’s your knee, if you want it to work you’ll do the exercises.”

  19. 19.

    RPh

    @hueyplong: This is something where longer-term married men look at the newbie with arched eyebrows & wish him well in his upcoming moments …. then start betting on his over/under

  20. 20.

    sab

    @Ohio Mom: Looking at Christmas my stepdaughter texted me for advice for her father’s gift. I had no idea. Sox? ( He always needs sox.)

    I hate Christmas. So much expensive gift giving when I haven’t a clue what people want, and they don’t have a clue what I want or what size I am.

    One of my stepkids gives really nice expensive presents I have no use for and no room for so every year they go off to the Humane Society thrift store. Good for the store but otherwise such a waste.

  23. 23.

    Jackie

    @sab:

    I hate Christmas. So much expensive gift giving when I haven’t a clue what people want, and they don’t have a clue what I want or what size I am.

    Gift cards are great! I, myself, always appreciate ones to my favorite restaurants or coffee shop. Men may prefer gift cards to sporting goods stores, Harbor Freight, Home Depot, or Amazon.

  24. 24.

    Suzanne

    @realbtl:

    When I had both of my knee replacements I only survived by having friends bring food from the local deli. The hospital food sucked. 

    Yes this. Last time SuzMom was hospitalized, I brought her most of her meals and coffee. Need that coffee shop in the lobby. Vital to the entire operation.

  26. 26.

    CaseyL

    Best wishes to Joelle for a complete recovery from surgery! Since she’s been through this before, she probably knows intimately well that the only way out is through, and the only way to a functioning knee is putting up with Torquemada for a few weeks. (PT and OTs are saints. Sadistic saints, but saints all the same.)

    The only caveat I would offer, and this is based on my needing PT for an arthritic knee, is make sure the PT Joelle works with has experience working with people in her demographic as well as in her situation.

    My first PT was but a lad, and was used to working with young people. When I told him some exercises were making my bad knee go crunch, he didn’t understand what to do. I switched to a different PT clinic, where they understand about Olds, and cartilage loss, and how to work around that rather than pretend it isn’t an issue. (Not saying this would be an issue for Joelle, just that her PT needs to be experienced in working with different kinds of people.)

  28. 28.

    Jackie

    Cole, you have such a way with romantic compliments! Joelle is so lucky! // // //

    You’d be wise to have a gorgeous bouquet of her favorite flowers and have her favorite foods ready to serve when you bring her home – tomorrow?

  29. 29.

    lowtechcyclist

    @RPh: ​

    This is something where longer-term married men look at the newbie with arched eyebrows & wish him well in his upcoming moments …. then start betting on his over/under.

    I was thinking, “Cole, you just married this gorgeous woman who for some reason can put up with you. Don’t fuck it up so soon!!!

    Have I mentioned that dilaudid is God’s own drug? When I had shingles but didn’t know it yet, and my trigeminal nerve in the left side of my face was screaming to beat the band, they gave me dilaudid at the ER, and not only did it make the pain go away, but I still remember this tremendous sense of well-being washing over me. Boy howdy, was that good stuff!

  32. 32.

    eclare

    @sab:

    It was Ohio Mom who gave me this great saying:  two places where you absolutely need people on the outside are prison and a hospital.

    Ha!  And Ohio Mom said that at ten!

  33. 33.

    satby

    I was thinking about Joelle all day. I’m sure she’ll do great, she did after the last surgery.  And she was probably out for the night five minutes after you left.

    Just was reading this delicious article you can read to her tomorrow yourself:

    Trump responded the way he always does when confronted with facts: he sued. According to Trump, the Board’s explanation defamed him. Emotionally devastated him. Ruined his reputation. Cost him untold wealth. Possibly disturbed the very molecules of his being. He demanded astronomical damages in Florida state court and waited, presumably, for everyone to cower.

    Instead, the Pulitzer Prize Board chose violence. Their discovery requests are a thing of beauty. Not flashy, nor rhetorical, just brutally literal. If Trump is claiming emotional or physical injury, they would like the records supporting that claim, all of them, going back to January 1, 2015. Including prescription medications and annual physicals. And if he is not claiming such injuries, they would like him to say so in writing.

  35. 35.

    YY_Sima Qian

    Foreign policy (& matters of war & eace) as circus acts:

    Konstantin Toropin @KToropin

    NEW: @realDonaldTrump orders a “total and complete blockade of all sanctioned oil tankers going into, and out of, Venezuela.” Working to learn more details…

    Donald J. Trump @realDonald Trump

    Venezuela is completely surrounded by the largest Armada ever assembled in the History of South America. It will only get bigger, and the shock to them will be like nothing they have ever seen before — Until such time as they return to the United States of America all of the Oil, Land, and other Assets that they previously stole from us. The illegitimate Maduro Regime is using Oil from these stolen Oil Fields to finance themselves, Drug Terrorism, Human Trafficking, Murder, and Kidnapping. For the theft of our Assets, and many other reasons, including Terrorism, Drug Smuggling, and Human Trafficking, the Venezuelan Regime has been designated a FOREIGN TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. Therefore, today, I am ordering A TOTAL AND COMPLETE BLOCKADE OF ALL SANCTIONED OIL TANKERS going into, and out of, Venezuela. The Illegal Aliens and Criminals that the Maduro Regime has sent into the United States during the weak and inept Biden Administration, are being returned to Venezuela at a rapid pace. America will not allow Criminals, Terrorists, or other Countries, to rob, threaten, or harm our Nation and, likewise, will not allow a Hostile Regime to take our Oil, Land, or any other Assets, all of which must be returned to the United States, IMMEDIATELY. Thank you for your attention to this
    matter!

    DONALD J. TRUMP
    PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

    Pretty much:

    Blake Herzinger @BDHerzinger
    Total and complete blockade (an act of war) of all sanctioned oil tankers (ok so just like a few ships totally and completely blockaded)

    Nathan Strang @NavyStrang
    What “oil, land, or Assets” is he talking about?

    Blake Herzinger @BDHerzinger
    Yeah very interested to know where this mysterious American land in Venezuela is.

  36. 36.

    eclare

    I got flu and covid shots today.  The covid shot was Pfizer, and my arm is pretty sore.  I have always gotten Moderna in the past, I don’t remember that side effect.  The shot also stung quite a bit.

    But, beats ending up in the hospital with covid!

  37. 37.

    stinger

    @sab: ​
     The past couple of years, I’ve given experiences rather than things. Theatre, concerts, dinner out, museum visits, local hikes, etc. It helps that my siblings are, like me, working at downsizing and don’t want more things.

  38. 38.

    satby

    @eclare: I’ve had all three versions of the covid jab. The only one that didn’t leave my arm aching for days was the Novavax one. The last time I had a flu shot that made my arm ache a couple of days too. That’s why I won’t get them at the same time.

  39. 39.

    BeautifulPlumage

    OT: living in the PNW is never boring! I been in King County (mostly) for 60+ years and this is a shit ton of flooding. I’m in no danger but I want to send good wishes to everyone in the Northwest who is dealing with it.

  40. 40.

    Gin & Tonic

    @satby: ​He expected them to rescind the Prize? Jeez, they wouldn’t rescind the prize they gave to a liar, why’d anyone expect them to rescind a prize they gave to someone who told the truth?

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    @eclare:  Ouch!  I’m sorry to hear that.

    My arm is always really sore, and I get Moderna.  But it wasn’t as sore with the last one.

    I am convinced that when the shot stings it’s because the person giving the shot isn’t very good.  Someone here will surely correct me if I’m wrong.

  43. 43.

    Ohio Mom

    @eclare: Was it you who was sitting in the emergency room years ago with your mom, at your wit’s end? That was the first time I dusted that joke off and told it here.

    It’s an old joke for a reason, it’s true and wise.

  44. 44.

    eclare

    @satby:

    The flu shot arm is fine.  I just took some aspirin, and I have a glass of spiked egg nog, so I’m sure the other arm will feel better soon.

  45. 45.

    Juju

    I wish Joelle a perfect recovery. I’m having my second knee replacement tomorrow.  I hope I don’t have the rare occurrence that happened with the first surgery back in early November. I don’t want to stay in the hospital for 11 days. I am having the surgery in the hospital this time because there is a chance I will have the same problem. I’ve done all my exercises pre and post surgery and things have gone well. I look forward to not walking like Frankenstein when I’m not using the walker.  I’m sure when I wake up I will be thinking of Joelle and wishing her well, and possibly pain relief.

  47. 47.

    eclare

    @Ohio Mom:

    Yes!  That was me!

    It was around 5 am and you posted that, and it really comforted me, as well as made me laugh.  Because it was, and is, so true.

    Thank you so much for that comment, it was a tiny ray of light in a very dark moment.

  48. 48.

    Matt McIrvin

    @YY_Sima Qian: Oh, you know, the former US state of Dakotulansas, which was our richest oil-producing land until it was stolen by Venezuelans in a daring heist. It was where Great Salt Lake is now. They’re hiding it in a secret cellar one mile beneath the city of Barquisimeto.

  49. 49.

    Scout211

    @satby: I posted the Law and Crime article about it earlier today with some excepts.

    The Pulitzer Board has some really great attorneys.

    Pulitzer Prize Board members dump broad discovery demands on Trump for tax returns, psych records, and ‘any’ prescription meds history

    An excerpt:

    The “first set of requests for production of documents” gives Trump 30 days, as of Dec. 11, to respond and contemplates the plaintiff’s attorneys at Weber, Crabb & Wein, P.A., raising privilege claims.

    “With respect to your responses to the following Requests, if any information is withheld because of a claim of privilege, state the basis for your claim of privilege with respect to such information and the specific ground(s) on which the claim of privilege rests,” the filing said.

    The board defendants are demanding documentation on subjects ranging from Trump’s demands to rescind the awards, to his threats to sue, to proof that the board statement at issue “had a significant impact on the 2020 presidential election,” and to Trump’s various lawsuits — whether counterclaims and defenses against E. Jean Carroll, a failed defamation case against CNN, a settled suit against ABC, a settled suit against CBS, and an ongoing lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal and Rupert Murdoch over Jeffrey Epstein birthday letter reporting.

    The defendants further demanded “all” of Trump’s tax returns — “from all jurisdictions, including all attachments, schedules, and worksheets” — from 2015 to the present day, documents “sufficient to show all sources of Your income” over the same time period, documents “sufficient to show all of Your financial holdings” and his liabilities, and finally his health records and prescription medication history.

    “To the extent You seek damages for any physical ailment or mental or emotional injury arising from Counts I-IV of Your Complaint, all Documents (whether held by You or by third parties under Your control or who could produce them at your direction) concerning Your medical and/or psychological health from January 1, 2015, to present, including any prescription medications you have been prescribed or have taken,” the filing concluded. “For the avoidance of doubt, this includes all Documents Concerning Your annual physical examination. To the extent you do not seek such damages in this action, please confirm so in writing.”

  51. 51.

    Ohio Mom

    @sab: That is why I specialize in clothing for the majority of presents. I was going to buy them anyway.

    It’s one thing to buy gifts for little kids. They grow out of toys and books, and you want to expose them to new things.

    But grown-ups shouldn’t need to be showered with presents. I agree, it often feels like a waste, no, it is a waste.

    And once a tradition gets started — like exchanging gifts with in-laws — it’s next to impossible to derail it.

  52. 52.

    Smiling Happy Guy (aka boatboy_srq)

    Unemployment sucks. Just watched my car get repo’d.

    Relocating to EU is looking more attractive daily.

  53. 53.

    cain

    Interesting thing about that blockade. That’s definitely an act of war and something that Congress has not approved. I also think that Johnson will use his usual excuse of not seeing it or some other message coming from his festering gob.

    Happy fast recovery to Joelle! Hope she is pain free as quickly as possible.

  58. 58.

    Gin & Tonic

    @cain: ​I pointed that out a couple of threads ago. Congress has happily surrendered almost all of its Constitutional duties and prerogatives.

  60. 60.

    glc

    @satby: ok, let’s just see that one sentence again.

    Instead, the Pulitzer Prize Board chose violence.

    Looks a bit like a rotating tag to me.

  61. 61.

    Karen Gail

    @Jackie: Not sure if it was Epstein or Pulitzer Prize suing; but we have now moved into “Wag the Dog” as he plans to shock and awe the world with war.

    “One, two, three, four. What are we fighting for?”

  62. 62.

    YY_Sima Qian

    @cain: Well, the “blockade” targeting sanctioned oil tankers is actually a quarantine, so not quite an act of war. Trump is calling it a blockade to puff his chest. Still of highly dubious legality, since the sanctions on Venezuela are unilateral ones imposed by the US, not international.

  64. 64.

    WTFGhost

    @Ohio Mom: I flash back to the Jeff Foxworthy joke, about how “he’s my best friend. Why, you can call him up at 3 am and he’ll come bail you out!” No, he ain’t your best friend, if he were you best friend, he’d be in the cell with you, saying “she di’n’t look like no cop to me.”

    To which I always figured, well… that also shows the importance of having different types of friends. The friends you get wild with the pic-a-nic baskets, and the friends who boo-boo you saying the ranger wouldn’t like that.

  65. 65.

    comrade scotts agenda of rage

    @eclare:

    I’ve been Team Moderna from the beginning of The Plague Times.

    Every shot, every damned one, resulted in my arm feeling like it had been repeatedly beaten with a baseball bat.

  66. 66.

    Karen Gail

    I suspect or think or believe that Trump is buying into the fantasy that Putin is winning and that all the assets that are Ukraine now belong to Putin so Trump is going to follow the example of his idol and take over Venezuela. Someone has pushed the idea that US has the right to take over Venezuela, the CIA tried for years through covert operations. So either Kegsbreath or Miller pushed to go to war and take all the wealth in Venezuela; with the shuffling at Pentagon there is no one left to stop the warhawks who want war.

    People didn’t make a big deal out of blowing up fishing boats, there was no push back from moving large force into Caribbean so this was the next step; war has been “declared” on narcoterrorists and  White House said land strikes were going to take place.

  67. 67.

    Smiling Happy Guy (aka boatboy_srq)

    @eclare: Job, mostly. Although getting my wheels back would be good. Email is in my profile if anyone wants to discuss privately.

  69. 69.

    Jackie

    @comrade scotts agenda of rage:

    @eclare:

    I’ve been Team Moderna from the beginning of The Plague Times.

    I started with Pfizer the first go arounds, then switched to Moderna when it seemed to be the most effective for seniors. Other than beat up shoulder afterwards, my body seems to recognize it, and I don’t get any other side effects. I never assume, though, and always have the chicken soup and necessary “recovery foods and supplies” stocked and ready.

  71. 71.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Jackie: my mom has been buying Mr. Rudbek an REI gift card for Christmas for about thirty years now. He always manages to find something there (bike equipment, athletic gear, etc).

  72. 72.

    Jackie

    President Donald Trump’s mystery speech planned for Wednesday night is already sparking backlash from furious fans of the CBS hit show “Survivor,” who will have to wait a bit longer to find out the winner of the show’s 49th season.

    Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said Trump plans to address the nation at 9 p.m. Eastern.

    Internet observers immediately homed in on the time, as the last-minute presidential address will interrupt CBS’s three-hour season finale, the network confirmed to Entertainment Weekly.

    CBS News will broadcast Trump’s live speech from the White House, anchored by Norah O’Donnell with reporting from chief White House correspondent Nancy Cordes. To boot, the “Survivor” finale, which begins at 8 p.m. ET, will be forced to pause for the address and resume immediately afterward for viewers.

    And fans were not happy.

    That included Stephen Fishbach, a two-time Survivor contestant, who railed on X, “absolutely wild that Trump is trying to make #Survivor 49 last even LONGER, surely this will be the last straw for his supporters.”

    —RawStory

    FFOTUS Survivor fans warned that his supporters will revolt and not support/vote republican after this. LOL

  74. 74.

    Jackie

    @Kayla Rudbek: Gift cards are great gifts! I’m downsizing and I just don’t want more “stuff.” I can’t believe how many loads of clothes and knickknacks and things I’ve hauled to Goodwill this year. And, I’m not done. Trying to get rid of stuff so my kiddos won’t have as much to deal with later.

    I’m happy with restaurant and grocery store and Walmart gift cards. They WILL get used and with appreciation!

  80. 80.

    Origuy

    I don’t know if this has anything to do with what Trump is talking about, but Venezuela has had a long running border dispute with Guyana. There’s a large strip of land called the Essequibo that Guyana has been administering and Venezuela claims. Of course, there is oil there. Even before Trump, the US military was conducting exercises with Guyana. Exxon-Mobil, whose Venezuelan properties were nationalized, is one of the companies working in the disputed area.

  81. 81.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Jackie: tandem bicycles eat parts, so Mr. Rudbek can always pick up more tires, tubes, chains, etc. and not have them go to waste.

    I should also remind him that he could use some new cycling gloves, and maybe consider a new helmet (the padding in the gloves wears out first, and the styrofoam in the helmets breaks down after a while so helmets have a limited lifespan).

  82. 82.

    Jackie

    I heard Jared Kushner and Affinity Partners will no longer be supporting Paramount Skydance’s hostile takeover bid for Warner Bros. So I assume CNN won’t become Faux II.

    GREAT NEWS!

  83. 83.

    Sure Lurkalot

    Felt the need to capture it all here:

    If I ever say that my spouse looks like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and she finds out, well, man I just don’t know.

    Probably better that he didn’t have the brain-slip I’ve had, where I type “Mickey Rourke” instead of “…Rooney.” There’s always a way to make a marital situation worse, when you think about it.

    That Cole knows how to flatter a girl!

    This is something where longer-term married men look at the newbie with arched eyebrows & wish him well in his upcoming moments …. then start betting on his over/under

    You’d be wise to have a gorgeous bouquet of her favorite flowers and have her favorite foods ready to serve when you bring her home – tomorrow?

    I was thinking, “Cole, you just married this gorgeous woman who for some reason can put up with you. Don’t fuck it up so soon!!

    At least he didn’t take pics/screen grabs (I hope)

    It was autocorrect.  He was trying to type Audrey Hepburn. That would be my story.

    Excellent job, everyone!

  89. 89.

    Jay

    Venezuela nationalized it’s oil industries in 1976.

    Hugo Chavez was 22 years old and just enlisted in the Venezuelan military.

    Nicolas Maduro was 14 years old at the time.

    Fentanyl is made from precursors made in China, mostly made for the America’s by DJTidiot’s BFF’s, Mexican Cartels, and is smuggled into the US mostly by American’s, who run illegal guns to Mexico to arm the Cartels, and get paid in Fentanyl.

    It is not a WMD.

  90. 90.

    WTFGhost

    Hey, everyone. Having another one of those nights I know I’ll get through, but I’m not sure how long it will take before unconsciousness finally claims me, nor how many of those hours will be torturous just due to pain, nor how many will be torturous due to pain masquerading as bad memories and emotions, etc..

  91. 91.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @WTFGhost: thanks for saying so.

    May you have ease, and be free from pain, may you be at peace, may you have inner or outer resources to focus on, that feel good, or hopeful.

    What else is possible? How does it get any better than this? (these are rhetorical questions. But you can use them as an invocation or call.)

    sometimes, if one feels a tiny bit more ease/ less pain, one can focus on the tiny gap in the pain, the tiny bit of space, or breath, and sometimes that helps a little. Wishing you well.

  92. 92.

    WTFGhost

    @Jackie: They also make  surprisingly good gifts for  lovers/partners/spouses who are always too busy to take care of themselves… couples massage, especially.

    In fact, there’s an old Talmudic riddle, or so I’ve heard. You see, in Judaism, pleasure for a wife is her right. To fail to pleasure your wife is to fail as a husband! So this couple went to a rabbi and said that although the man could always become (ahem) fulfilled, the wife could not. The rabbi asked, “is there, perhaps, some fantasy you would like to play out? For truly, if it be not offensive to thy husband…” and she blushed *furiously*. We’re talking a 10-15watt POWERBLUSH if you know what I mean.

    “I’ve always imagined being fanned by a slaveboy, not unlike my… well my husband, but, also, like your own son, rabbi. He was forced to fan me, while I was pleasured by the man who would own me – that would be my husband, of course!!! –  for if he did not pleasure me, he could not purchase me truly.”

    The rabbi nodded sagely, and went, and asked his son, would he…? and his son thought, surely without any concern about untalmudic thoughts about seeing nekkid people performing nekkid people stuff. (I mean, c’mon, we all know the difference. Naked is merely nude, or unclothed. Nekkid? That means you is nude, and *up to something*, amiright?) He volunteered to fan the couple with a green towel, colored to look a bit like a palm leaf, if you were busy having sex and not paying attention to the slaveboy. And he did a fine job, but… it wasn’t enough to close the deal. And the rabbi, who had seen more than enough sex to be cool and unbothered by the scene, discussed things with the couple again.

    “You know,” he said, cautiously, for he had heard a bit of gossip about his son, “I almost wish that you, her husband could wave the towel, while my son – with full protection, of course! – pretended to be the purchaser. I mean, some learning could be… you know, transmitted.” For he had thought to himself, “oy, gevalt, I don’t want to have to tell this schlemiel how to make a woman happy!”

    He had been joking, but to his surprise, the husband said “yes, yes, yes! Let’s do that!” The rabbi shrugged his shoulders and recognized that the fulfillment of the meaning of the law rose above the specifics of one law, and therefore… therefore… Oh, FUCK IT, I can’t think of anything else to do!!!!1!!!

    Well, the husband hurried the son into position, with plenty of protection, and waved his towel with a passion unmatched in the room, save for the unintended passion between the rabbi’s son, and the husband’s wife, the latter of whom had thunderous orgasms that left the temple bells vibrating, were they not, in fact, chiming at full volume.

    The rabbi nodded sagely. “And so, dear husband of your wife, do you think some learning has been passed on?”

    “You betcha!” the husband crowed in delight. “Now that’s how you wave a towel, sonny!”

  93. 93.

    Gloria DryGarden

    @WTFGhost: chagrin.

    I don’t know how to use it in a sentence yet. I’m thinking the rabbi, and the son, and the wife, all felt chagrined, although happy for the moment.

    You find the most delightful and hilarious aspects to describe, after dark… thank you for the mirth and reverence.

  94. 94.

    Chris T.

    @cmorenc:

    Physical Therapists who work with knee replacement rehab may seem sweet at first meet, but quickly begin to show their personality side as Parris Island Marine Corps Boot Camp DIs.

    You know the initials PT stand for Pain & Torture, right?

  95. 95.

    David_C

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery! My wife had outpatient knee replacement that, because of a bad anesthesia reaction, ended up as a 3-day hospital stay. I had one hospital all-nighter, and a difficult day getting her through her delirium, but my wife finally got some rest and started recovering. My in-hospital advocacy was truly needed, and I knew her well enough after 43 years that I could steer staff (who were truly great) in the right direction.

    We’re home, my work is flexible enough (I was ready to take on the whole federal government if they caused trouble for me) that I can stay home and be productive and helpful. And had to take one of our cats to the vet for his Rainbow Bridge passage. So, yeah, it’s been a challenging time.

  96. 96.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Ohio Mom:

    But grown-ups shouldn’t need to be showered with presents. I agree, it often feels like a waste, no, it is a waste.

    My family decided maybe fifteen years ago that presents at Christmas were for the kids only, and we adults would not exchange gifts on Christmas morning.  That’s made things a lot easier.

  97. 97.

    Miss Bianca

    @eclare: you’re braver than I am – got the flu shot last week, getting Covid shot this week. Spaced ’em out cause I was afraid of what a one-two would feel like!

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