The folks at LGM have started a list of the worst sportscasters, and have Paul Maguire, Dick Vitale, and Tony Kornheiser at the top of their list, and who can argue with that selection. Having said all that, I seriously doubt the merits of any list that does not include Joe Buck and that idiot Tim McCarver, Phil Simms, and Chris Collinsworth. I really have not watched more than an inning of the World Series in several years because Buck and McCarver are that bad, Phil Simms ruins every late CBS game and I never have any clue what he is talking about, and something about Chris Collinsworth makes me want to punch him. Every time I hear his voice I have an image of him sneering sarcastically.
Then again, I may have bad taste- I have always been a fan of Dan Dierdorf, and most everyone I know can not stand him. I also may be spoiled, as I was lucky enough to listen to Jack Fleming for a number of years.
Keith
Lee Corso
The Moar You Know
Dennis Miller, although Deirdorf was right on up there.
The Moar You Know
OT: Hannity’s longtime punching bag and "house liberal" finally has enough and is leaving Fox.
Buck
Bob Davie = instantly activate mute button.
HL Guy
Boomer Esiason. He talks wayyyy too much about his own career. It’s not about you any more, big guy. Needs to focus on the current players, not himself.
Bubblegum Tate
You mean LGM, not LGF, John. One letter makes a world of difference.
J.
Dang! @The Moar You Know beat me to it! You think anyone will actually notice?
Re sportscasters, I am 100% with you re Tim McCarver. We in the NYC Metro area had to suffer for years with him. Time the world shared our suffering. Though maybe someone out there would like to add a note about Harry Caray? (His son, Chip, is OK, though.) Also, ever since Craig Carton on WFAN (Sports Radio 66) went off about Tony Siragusa and his nipples, I can barely look at the guy or listen to him. Get that man a bro.
Me, I like Carl Banks and Boomer Esaison — and the old Marv.
Freelancer
Second Lee Corso,
The irrelevance is palpable, and the verbal diarrhea is mind-boggling
MeanMrMustard
Bill Walton.
fuddmain
@Buck: Second. During the UF vs. Vandy game a few weeks ago he gushed non-stop about the Gators and Tim Tebow. I’m a die hard Gator and made even me sick.
Verne Lundquist is another one I don’t like. He seems to have something against the Gators. He’s constantly confused these days, too.
Joshua Norton
Didn’t Rush try sportscasting? As I recall, his career lasted all of 15 minutes. He thought it was another outlet to spew his wingnut crap-fest and they bounced his ass outta there.
Bubblegum Tate
I’ll tell ya who really sucks: Billy Packer.
Elvis Elvisberg
Absolutely.
Can’t believe no one has mentioned Musberger yet. Universally hated, yet massively successful. I just don’t get it. Have you ever met or heard of anyone who regards himself as a Musberger fan? Me neither.
The Moar You Know
Right in his sneering, "I just fucked your girlfriend and make way more money in a week than you will in your whole life" smug pretty face. I thought it was just me. Glad to get some validation here.
*
Yeah, as I mentioned over at LGM, in this day and age of multi-digi-channels and whatnot, is there any reason we cant get a TV signal with only the stadium noise being broadcast?
All these yellow 10 yard lines, blue scrimmages, and 6 to 7 figure yappers who pontificate the obvious do nothing to enhance the broadcast.
Art School Guy
Collinsworth can come across as a bit smug sometimes, but he’s really a very insightful analyst. I feel like I learn things watching him.
Definitely second Billy Packer, i’m thrilled CBS has finally dumped him (only about 15 years too late)
Chuck
I thought I was the only one who like Dierdorf, especially in comparison to guys like Phil Simms, who has always been overrated. But Joe Buck is the worst – he’s a pampered horse’s arse who completely blew the call of the Tyree SB catch. He’s Prince Valium.
smiley
I nominate Brett Musberger (sp?). Although he’s competent, he’s also an absolute fanboy for certain teams (OTOH, so was Keith Jackson) and that bias shows through his attempts to be even handed.
Punchy
Collinsworth is great. Maguire is too. Christ, you are a cantankerous curmegeon (sp?).
Even better (especially for hockey) is bill clement, or better still, gary thorne.
leinie
I thought that buttmunch Troy Aikman teamed with the insufferable Joe Buck was the WORST. Buck sucks like nothing has sucked before, and Aikman is a wind up doll that says "There’s no doubt about it" to everything that Buck says.
Then, ESPN foisted Kornheiser on the world, and made me realize it can always
get worse.
Ugh
Clark Kellog is awful.
Foxhunter
Evidence of Corso’s neverending descent into the Berman-esque cartoon sideshow can be seen here. He has really jumped the shark.
Heh…@ fuddmain – Lundquist loves UGA. I feel the same about him coloring UGA games as you do when Davies did the UF game. Over the top…
And Billy Packer sucks because he seems perpetually constipated and angry. He knows hoops, tho.
Pastafarian
Pam Ward, hands down.
From Awful Announcing, which has a weekly feature called the Pam Ward Chronicles and awards a weekly Pammy for worst announcing of the week.
mikebdot
Lou Holtz…his teeth almost fall out every few seconds. It’s really uncool.
Did you know there is an entire website devoted to such discussions?
I believe it’s something like http://www.awfulannouncing.blogspot.com but am unable to confirm on account that I’m at work and it’s blocked.
Ed in NJ
Dick Vitale is by far the worst, although Billy Packer is a close second. I don’t consider Kornheiser a sportscaster. He’s just a clown in the booth.
Phil Simms is great, though.
randiego
Dierdorf??
Surely you jest – he’s downright McCarver-esque in his bloviating Captain Obvious-ness!
Kornheiser doesn’t work on MNF, but his radio show in DC was brilliant, and he and Wilbon’s schtick on PTI is entertaining…
smiley
@Elvis Elvisberg:
How did I miss that you beat me to it?
BombIranForChrist
Ugh, McCarver is by far the worst. Does anyone like him? If not, why does he still have his job?
I also can’t stand the cornball stylings of Bob Costas. If I want to hear bad poetry, I’ll go to my local coffee shop and listen to J.G. Weinberger recite a poem about how it’s not fair he is ugly. For sports, I want someone who gives it to me straight, not waxes poetic about the sublime majesty of Ray Lewis’s nut sack.
Mary King
Joe Morgan is the worst for me. With every play you’re subjected to a comparison to either him or someone he played against.
Brian
My two cents: I thought Magic Johnson was absolutely horrible during NBA games. Great player, terrible commentator. I cannot stand Joe Buck. And, I may be in the minority here, but I think Bob Costas is a douchebag. When he and Collinsworth (who I dislike even less than Costas) did their spiel together during the Beijing Olympics, I pretty much wanted to vomit.
Robert B
The list of _good_ sportscasters would be a lot shorter and every bit as controversial. But while we’re kicking sportscasters around, Tony Kornheiser is the absolute suck on MNF. He’s followed closely by pretty much everyone doing sports in any capacity on Fox.
nerf
Brent Pussburger, Maguire sucked and so did Bob Trumpy, Dick Enberg is a joke now, I don’t know why they wheel him out anymore. Joe Morgan sucks, Harry Caray blew chunks as well back in the day. Literally. All over people. In the face.
Dork
You may be too young (too old?) to remember this, but they tried this in the mid-80s. Had no announcers — just the game and backround stadium noise. Cant remember if they used instant replay, but of course, it would have been commentary-free, too. They then tried using a female commentator for a NFL game; back in the 80s, this was considered absolutely, positively shocking.
Although I cannot remember for sure, I think both experiments lasted exactly 1 game. Just too weird not having anyone explain the play as it unfolded….
Elvis Elvisberg
I second that. A smug, self-satisfied douchebag. Maybe he earned the reputation he thinks he has in like 1986, but I grew to hate him by the early 1990s. He loves to find something tangential to get outraged about, then never shut the hell up about it.
J. Michael Neal
I’ll start. It’s important to look at Caray’s entire career. Before he started drinking so much, he was extremely insightful. He really knew the game of baseball, and was incredibly observant. When he started, and particularly when he was doing Cardinals’ games before WGN, he talked about the game, and you learned things. Even late in life, after he had become generally awful, there were still isolated instances where you could see what he had been. I remember one instance when he called a pickoff almost before the pitcher started his move; the runner was out by about three feet.
Dick Vitale also fits this category. Back when he was first starting at ESPN, in the early 1980s, he was terrific. I hate basketball, but he would get me to watch games because he was interesting and informative. Then he became a celebrity, and got paid for running his mouth. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions.
I feel the same way about John Madden, the broadcaster. John Madden the hockey player remains one of my favorites.
Jade Jordan
I second Brett Musberger. It is not our fault that he went to academically great, sports sucky Northwestern. He hates Michigan and I cringe when his mental health professionals lose track of him long enough to let him call a game.
John did a good job of listing the hall of shame: Joe Buck, Tim McCarver, Phil Simms, and Chris Collinsworth. Joe Buck never shuts up and Tim McCarver hasn’t had a cogent thought for decades.
I was a big time Major Applewhite fan and I resented how Simms’ son was allowed to start over him without earning it.
Tymannosourus
I will never forgive Joe Buck for his failure to rise to the occasion in last year’s super bowl.
Arguably one of the best SBs ever, if not the Tyree play is probably the best single play in SB history, and Buck sounds like he is calling a preseason game.
Don’t believe me? Go back and watch it on youtube. If his mediocrity doesn’t enrage you, you are not a football fan.
All that being said, I want Gus Johnson announcing every game I watch from now until I die.
patrick
I like Dan Dierdorf, too….
Madden annoys me….I personally liked the dierdorf/micheals/gifford team on MNF, and basically stopped watching when they split them up. I can’t stand the tools they have on there now…..
one of the best, IMHO: Greg Gumbel
if you extend to nascar, then include wally dallenbach…I miss buck baker & ned jarret, they were both great….
elmo
What? 30 comments and nobody has mentioned John "Captain Obvious" Madden?
"Well, it’s third and long, so either they have to, you know, get the first down on this play, or, you know, they’ll have to punt. Well, unless, you know, they decide to go for it on fourth down."
Yes, indeed, thank you for the incisive analysis, Mr. HighlyPaidFootballAnnouncer. Who could be replaced by any reasonably conversant Pop Warner eight-year-old.
Jeff
I vote for Billy Packer as well. The one guy who could ruin the fun of the NCAA tournament.
Terri
Years ago, a friend of mine in Atlanta, worked as a massage therapist at the Ritz Carlton downtown. McCarver got a massage from her in the spa, and starting giving himself his OWN happy ending. Long story short, she ended the massage right then and there, told him she was stepping out, and for him to get dressed, and meet her at the front desk. He said he wasn’t going to pay her since she didn’t give him a full massage. She reminded him that the cops would add theft of services, in addition to solicitation if he wanted to be stupid.
On top of being a babbling idiot as an announcer, he’s also slimy piece of shit.
Beej
Paul Maguire is absolutely the worst! He knows what everyone did wrong on every play and what they should have done and what play the coach should have called and who would do better at that position and, and, . . . . You get the point. I really would like to smack him in the mouth.
joe from Lowell
My father used to turn down the volume on the network broadcast of the Celtics so we could listen to Johnny Most.
"Oh my GOD! Bill Lambier is MUGGING Larry Bird!. That man should NOT be allowed to play the game of basketball."
awesome
Quinn
How have Brian Baldinger and Dick Stockton received a pass so far? They are soooooo f’n brutal. Every time I have to suffer through their nonsense I wonder how to get into the business because, apparently, you can be a no talent no nothing ass clown and still get a job.
Tymannosourus
Also, any list that doesn’t include Bill Maas is not a list. Either that, or the list-maker has not watched an NFC North game in 4 years.
Eric S
Everybody hates somebody broadcasting. I’ve long since decided they’re all bad. I could certainly get behind the suggestion of a channel devoted to the game without announcers.
For my money the worst statement I specifically recall was Madden saying (I paraphrase), "the team that scores the most points usually wins." I was done watching that game in an instant.
No list of bad sportscasting could be complete without Bill Walton. He’s the Joe Morgan of the NBA. "When I played blah blah blah."
Foxhunter
@Terri:
That was probably about the same time McCarver was in Atlanta for the Series. He challenged Deion Sanders to a duel or something because Prime Time dumped a bucket of water on his head during the locker room celebration.
Good times here in the ATL.
Incertus
Since broadcaster is a pretty open term and isn’t necessarily limited to play-by-play people, I submit the name Chris Berman. Good effing Lord, I’d rather listen to Vogon poetry.
Karen
Troy Aikman & Dan Marino should both be allowed out of their contracts
Tymannosourus
@Eric S:
Good call on Walton. His horribleness is beyond description.
Comrade Kevin
@Incertus:
Lord yes, Berman is dreadful. A huge ego, combined with an act that was old 20 years ago.
They’re not national, but the announcers for the Dallas Stars and Colorado Avalanche are pretty damn horrible as well.
smiley
@Incertus:
There’s a reason I don’t watch that show and it’s name is Chris Berman.
Kevin
Definately Joe Buck. I always hated him, but his over the top reaction to Randy Moss’ fake mooning a couple of years ago did it for me. He acted like Moss just raped a 2 year old baby in the middle of the field while snorting a line of coke. Such a pretentious ass.
Eric S
@Tymannosourus:
10 or 12 years ago I found myself standing next to Walton on a street corner in Chicago. To this day neither I nor any of my friends have forgiven me for not kicking him in his bad knee.
On the local side of Chicago we are stuck with Hawk Harrelson and Ron Santo. Not a coherent insightful comment by either of them in a decade. Unfortunately, sitting in the seat next to Santo is Pat Hughes who is THE AWESOME of baseball radio.
*
I hear ya, but then again, tens of thousands of people flock to these events to see them live and seem to get a handle of whats going on.
Don’t get me wrong, play by play can be great; as I said in the LGM thread, I enjoyed myself capitally listening to Woody Durham call the plays during last weekends NCSU/UNC football game; but then, we were a captive audience in a car listening to a radio broadcast.
It was cohesive and coherent. The color-guy read stats and the banter was positive, even though their team was being molested.
During one ACC tourney broadcast several years ago, the audio feed went dead for the ten most blissful minutes of sports consumption in my life. It was then that I realized I not only despised Vitale and Packer, but I might harbor a deathwish because of the quality they actively suck out of a favorite activity.
Its amazing, two mediums, essentially the same profession. One produces Red Barbers, Harry Carays, and Woody Durhams; the other, Costas, Corsos, & Collingsworths.
But seriously, we literally now have ESPN’s "The Ocho," could the affiliates be troubled to split one feed into a broadcast that only incorporates the crowd noises? They could leave another banter-filled broadcast open for any sado-masochistic visually-impaired people who want to listen to 50+ year old men regale the home viewers with exploits from the middle of the 20th century.
Punchy
I’m convinced he’s paid per an algorithm that includes his voice decibel level, the number of ridiculously stupid catch-phrases (diaper dandy!), and the number of times he screeks the word "baybeeeeey!". Also, I’m willing to bet Vitale would have gay sex with any Duke player, past or present, in any capacity.
I watch a lot of sports, and can endure almost anybody, but I simply cannot watch any game with Vitale.
ChrisA
One guy that just drives me insane is Jim Rome (Rome is Burning). . .master of the obvious, creator and peddler of phony controversies and the the biggest ‘jock wannabe’ around.
Every time I hear his voice I want to throw something through the TV. I can’t change the station fast enough when I hear him coming on.
I agree on Joe Buck and McCarver.
Bubblegum Tate
@Art School Guy:
Seconded. You know I really learn things from? Jaworski.
pat of wheaton
The worst is Jim Nance and his golf familiarity with "Sergio" "Phil" Tiger etc….Use their damn surname.
I am a White Sox fan and props to Harry Caray when he was in the White Sox booth with Jimmy Piersal, I remember him asking Jimmy on air when Jimmy was spinning out of control if he had taken his medicine.
Hawk Harrelson is hard to live with
Bill H
Al Michaels has not gotten a mention? He’s my favorite. I actually like John Madden, although he admittedly adds nothing to the broadcast that a stump could not add. He has a good heart and loves the game.
I will never watch anything on ESPN under any circumstances. (Except the Chargers, with the sound off.)
And no one has mentioned Howard Cosell? Or are we just dealing with current ones?
jrosen
My son (age 36) and I (age 69) have watched Patriots football together whenever possible for years. Now we both live in Jersey City, so we have to go a bar with satellite TV unless it is a national game or the Jets or Giants. Since there are several games being watched at once, the sound is off except for the local franchises. (Yesterday we were both deafened by the Jets fans who finally have something to cheer about.) That means we watch our own game with no sound, and since we both understand the game well I don’t feel like we are missing anything. Between the signals and lip-reading the refs, most everything is clear enough. If you know your sport, you can turn off the sound and be just fine. Watch the guards for a good idea of where the play is going.
When I lived in Boston, I often turned off the Celtics sound and listened to Johnny Most in the radio, since he was crazy as a loon and just a lot of fun.
One very good sportscaster is also a Boston local, Gil Santos who does radio for the Pats.
I nominate Paul Maguire for the worst…when he is not irrelevant he is just wrong. And Dennis Miller is insufferable no matter what he is saying…a Republican Stepford-bot that needs to have his neural nets reset.
smiley
@*:
Ever notice how many of those people are listening to the game on radio (or TV). As a whole, we’re addicted to commentary.
@ChrisA:
One of the best examples of the Napoleon complex ever. Via Wiki:
Mike
The only way to watch the World Series is with the TV muted and the radio on (usually Jon Miller.)
pat of wheaton
Sorry I forgot the Sammy Maudlin of Women’s gymnastics- Al Trautwig
Punchy
@Eric S: What he said. Ron Santo is borderline demented (BTW, just saying that could get me killed the next time I roll thru Wrigleyville). No joke. He cant remember where he is on occasion, who’s at bat, and forgets innings almost every game. It’s clear his disease has ravaged more than his limbs.
And Hawk? The Guy Who Invented "He Gone", the most grammatically incorrect (not that South Siders can freakin read or write anyways) catchphrase of all time. Biggest home-team homer in baseball bar none.
And to those who hated Caray….FU. They guy was halarious. Reading names backwards, spilling his beer in the booth, catch fouls with a fishing net……him and Steve Stone were legend.
DanR2
I actually miss Pat Summerall.
For national network TV guys, Al Michaels is about the only one left who hasn’t gotten on my nerves at one time or another. The rest all basically suck. Musberger, Dierdork, Madden, Vitale, Packer, etc. all try to be more important than the game itself.
Partisan local announcers can be good though–I still think of Thom Brennaman and Kevin Harlan as local guys, and they’re really not bad.
ThymeZone
The combo of Chris Berman and Joe Morgan can ruin any baseball game for me, and I loves me some baseball.
Brent Musburger is the anti-caster. Anything he describes becomes silent. Because I have to turn the sound off.
HyperIon
i experienced this recently one day when i switched to SAP on my TV during a mariner’s broadcast. for some reason, instead of spanish, i got audio from the field mike. it was amazing. i could hear the players get announced, i could hear the vendors in the stands, the crowd reactions to the pitches. my perception of the game was greatly changed. no one was telling me where to look and what to think. i found myself really studying the pitcher’s motion or the batter’s swing. it was the best baseball game i had WATCHED for years.
and i hate McCarver as an announcer.
but ya know who i used to really like: Dizzy and PeeWee.
Foxhunter
Natz was at his worst when Fred Couples was a regular tour player. Could not wait to remind us every 3 holes that he and ‘Freddie’ were roommates in college…or at least it seemed that frequent. Augusta should have dumped him and kept McCord, bikini wax comment e damned.
BDWB
He won’t be known outside soccer fan circles, but, Tommy "Arld Oinyin Baarg" Smyth. A xenophobic shrunken gremlin of a man uttering a dadaist pastiche of cliches, nonsensicalities, banalities, and the occasional Man U hagiographies, all in a cartoonishly forced accent which leads one to consider reviving the "No Irish need apply" sign for the top of one’s TV.
Oddly his broadcast partner, Derek Rae, is quite excellent.
passerby
Oh yeah! You said it John. And the reason you have an image of him sneering is the same reason I always have an image of him sneering:
He’s ALWAYS SNEERING. And snide. Whenever he talks I don’t listen to anything he says.
His interviews with Michael Phelps at the Olympics were cringeworthy. It was always all about him ( like "Hey, look at me, I got the big "get" ").
ooooooooooh, I can’t stand him.!!! and real sorry he’s on Football Night in America. I find it difficult to believe he was a pro footballer of any consequence.
Spew over.
Steve S.
Kornheiser is so very awful that the list ought to be shut down after putting him on top of it. Imagine a Howard Cosell who has been on the wagon for a couple of weeks and has been downing double espressos all day in preparation for the broadcast. Then imagine that John Lennon and Muhammed Ali are in attendance at the game but Cosell chooses to bring Frankie Avalon into the booth for an in-game interview instead. That’s Kornheiser. Kornheiser is so very awful that he actually had me feeling sorry for Joe Theismann, who was the previous holder of the worst sportscaster trophy.
I don’t think of Vitale as a sportscaster, any more than Ann Coulter is a political analyst.
Collinsworthless is a nitwit, but every once in a while (perhaps by accident) says something correct.
The only other announcer I will single out for now is Matt Millen. Lately dismissed from the masterful job he was doing as GM of the Lions, it is conceivable that he may be headed back to the broadcast booth, where he will live out his true calling; screaming semi-coherent threats of violence at referees whose calls he disagrees with. Everybody make sure your mute buttons are in good working order.
Josh Hueco
@ChrisA:
I know a lot of people think Frank Caliendo’s a tool, but he pretty much has both John Madden and Jim Rome dead to rights.
For worst broadcaster: I know he’s not a broadcaster per se, but I nominate Colin Cowherd. Smug, whiny, repeats the same five talking points over and over for three hours a day every day, and pats himself on the back for it so furiously you’re amazed he hasn’t thrown out his shoulder by now.
*
I’d submit that we are not addicted to commentary; as evidence I present this thread.
Besides, as I mentioned earlier, the radio play-by-plays are performed by what sound to be true professionals, engaging the listener with viable information; not some overweight has-been with a prostate larger than his IQ. And don’t get me started with the sideline-wool telling us about what the coach said during half-time or how long running back so-n-so’s ACL will take to heal.
The week after the 10 minutes of Packer-free bliss, where all you could here was "Squeek-squeek, whistle, " all my friends and colleagues who caught those couple minutes thought they rocked. You could hear the coaches shouting and the sound of the net as the ball swooshed through it.
I know society has a percentage of folks who need to be reminded to wash their hands after taking a shit, but I hope with the advent of the digital age, the broadcasters can start marketing broadcast options that don’t require Dennis Miller or Rushs.
Tymannosourus
My good friend and I always talk about how awesome it would be if we Americans could borrow english premier league announcers like Clyde Tiledsley (sp?) and Martin Tyler.
The way they talk about sports is just awesome. They are critical of horsesh-t players, bad refs, and bad coaching. Unlike here, where it’s so commercial and you don’t want to offend anyone or say anything negative.
They keep it real, and their accents are the cat’s ass.
Teri
I have also not watched a World Series because of Tim McCarver. Add Bill Walton to that list!
Face
/whips out dictionary, 45 minutes later finally understands the comment ;)
Bubblegum Tate
@Josh Hueco:
Holy shit, that Jim Rome impersonation was great. That guy (Rome) is a mega-tool.
HumboldtBlue
That’s because he started as an analyst, not a color guy. His film breakdown (it used to be with Suzie Kolber) is a must-watch and he does something very few other colormen do — he describes what just happened.
Instead of psycho-analysis we get the analysis of a football run well or poorly. That’s why having Kornhole in the booth is so maddening, he adds nothing but noise.
I admit, I turn down the TV most if the time. I was spoiled growing up watching and listening to the likes of Gowdy, Ashburn, Scully and that guy who used to do SEC football on Saturday’s and then lead us through the Notre Dame re-run on Sunday morning.
The Grand Panjandrum
The only baseball announcer worth a shit is Joe Morgan. I hate everyone else for ALL sports. They should all be executed as part of half-time or seventh inning stretch entertainment.
*
HyperIon
Dude, freakin high-fives and amens. You can’t explain the experience. If a major-market broadcast ever bones up the audio signal from the box, and hundreds of thousands of TV viewers experience the FREEDOM from innanity, TV broadcasts might never be the same.
I swear when the announcer’s voice came back on, I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
DarkStar
Tony Kornheiser a.k.a. Korn-hole-eo, is at the top of my worst list. He thinks he’s Howard Cosell and tries to crowbar some pre-written "spontaneous" observation into every color commentary. I turn off the sound, which is a shame since I love Jaws. The week he was off was the only time I’ve been able to listen to the play by play.
Sarcastro
Muffburger is the worst.
Steve Matchett, David Hobbs, Peter Windsor and Bob Varsha on Speed’s F1 coverage are the best. I think they get lit before the show.
Shinobi
I do not like Joe Buck. With all due respect to his STL roots and his venerable father, I do not like Joe Buck. (Or his restaurant, overpriced) We make fun of the NFL casters on FOX constantly, it seems like every other week they have a crush on a different player. And the irrelevant commentary just sucks.
I much prefer CBS, and Dan Dierdorf, and not just because I went to school with his daughter and he used to announce our school basketball games. (Okay maybe a little.) Also Dan’s restaurants are better (I still think longingly of the Cesar salad at Dierdorf and Hart’s.
myiq2xu
Howard Cosell, Don Meridith and Mr. Kathy-Lee
I’m surprised MNF survived.
Bubblegum Tate
@HumboldtBlue:
Oh, definitely. Was it NFL Live that he did those film breakdowns on? I ate that stuff up and asked for more. He did a great job of showing everything that went into a play–the motion, the positioning, the reads the QB/WR/RB/CB/LB/safety needed to make (and the decisions they made, right or wrong)–without turning it into an avalanche of details and lingo. His play breakdowns were a great teaching tool for trying to introduce a novice to football.
Shaolin
I grew up listening to Vin Scully and Chick Hearn; so as far as I’m concerned, everything else is second rate. I can’t stand listening to any of the national broadcasts but particularly so for NBA or MLB games. Too many voices saying nothing.
Damn, I miss Chick :(
Funny you mention Collinsworth. Something about him just inspires a deep contempt from me, maybe its smug, sneering face of his.
CT
I actually liked the old ESPN booth of Patrick, Theisman, and Maguire. Entertaining, bust each other’s balls a bit, got excited about the game if it was a good one-bummer that they didn’t keep it intact for MNF.
Enberg’s a little long in the tooth now, but he was my fave back in the 70’s-80’s doing all those classic AFC games.
And as far as Walton goes, as on old Blazer fan, he can do no wrong in my book. Sure, he’s an over the top blowhard, but he knows that and plays it for effect, and he’s got infectious enthusiasm. I know most folks hate him, but if he’s broadcasting a game, I’ll watch for a while, just for the comedic value.
Joshua Norton
And Curt Gowdy
Gus
Yeah, the White Sox announcers are teh suck. Most teams have homers announcing, but those assholes are just obnoxious. I have very little to add; the worst have been covered, but McCarver deserves his own circle of hell. Pastafarian, thanks for the awful announcing link. Now that firejoemorgan has closed up shop, that will come in handy.
smiley
@*:
I don’t want to get into an argument but if this thread is evidence that we are not addicted to commentary, then why haven’t more of the commenters said that they watch sports with the sound off? They haven’t because they don’t and that is why they have opinions about who is and/or is not a good announcer/commentator.
Tymannosourus
@Gus:
You can PUT IT ON THE BOAAAAAAAARD!!!
D-Chance.
Keith Olbermann:
Worse: as a highlight announcer
Worser: as a sports commentator/analyst
Worst: as NBC’s studio co-anchor.
Know hope. Heh, indeedy!
ninerdave
@BombIranForChrist:
He gives a mean blow job? That’s the only conclusion I can come too.
I can’t watch Monday Night Football because of Kornheiser. Love this from Wikipedia:
Gee who would have thought that people tune into a football game for SPORTS.
OTOH:
San Francisco Giants Fans are lucky. We have John Miller and Kruk & Kuip.
John Miller is hands down the best sports announcer broadcasting today. He could read a shampoo bottle to me and I’d listden.
jakester
@Punchy: Ummm, Obama is a South Sider and a White Sox fan, so suck it.
Also, I’m super excited about Steve Stone joining Hawk in the booth next year – I like that guy a lot, but it will be interesting to see if he and Hawk can exist in the same booth at the same time.
Comrade Kevin
@ninerdave:
Krukow? He’s plain unlistenable for me, MEAT.
Lon Simmons and Bill King doing A’s games, now, that was the best.
Josh Hueco
@ninerdave:
He is pretty good. You can get KNBR’s broadcasts up in Oregon at night and if I was able to I’d listen to him announce Giants games (even though I’m a Cubs fan).
I think the message that’s coming through this thread is that good announcers have a keen, knowledgeable eye for the game, and just tell you what’s happening as it is. The bad ones have an "act" (cough, Ron Santo, cough) that overshadows what’s happening on the field. The worst ones (I’m looking at you, Dave Niehaus) shout catchphrases in a pathetic attempt to be entertaining and fail miserably.
andrea
Last year, a power outage took out the PA, music, etc. for the first 10 minutes of a Sharks game. We could actually talk during stoppages without having to shout over the canned music and announcements, not be encouraged to make noise or have to listen to the "in game host". I’ll have to try the SAP trick at home.
Frank Sobotka
Chris Collinsworth is decent. Ron Jaworski sets the standard for intelligent analysis in the booth, though, and I was glad when they gave him a prominent place on MNF.
I’m not sure how baseball wound up with so many awful, awful broadcasters. Joe Morgan, Rick Sutcliffe, JOE BUCK, Tim McCarver. I can’t think of an announcer I can tolerate. The day they had Steve Phillips and Sutcliffe in one booth was the day I almost abandoned baseball forever.
Punchy
Wow. Obama’s a Sox fan? Fuuuuuuuck. If I’da known that I woulda voted for McCain.
Ack, Sysadmin of Evil
not to tweak JC’s nose too much, but that nasally guy who announces the Steeler games on radio is just about unlistenable.
4tehlulz
Tommy Fucking Heinson. You wouldn’t know it from his broadcasts, but the Celtics occasionally commit fouls.
Just Some Fuckhead
Agree with the comments about Collinsworth. He’s easy to hate, specially if yer a Steelers fan but he’s actually quite good.
And how is it no one has mentioned Randy Cross? At least folks like Maguire and Kornheiser are likable.
Robert B
I’d second Colin Cowherd being on that list. I usually listen to ESPN Radio on XM when I’m tired of my iPod, but I don’t hate myself enough to listen to that douchebag.
Bubblegum Tate
Oh, and I would be remiss if I did not point out that Walt "Clyde" Frazier is the greatest sports broadcaster ever. I love that guy.
Polish the Guillotines
@Comrade Kevin:
Amen.
Vlad
I have to go with Chris Berman here. He combines the smugness typical of ESPN personalities with an almost palpable disinterest in the games he covers, and his catch phrases (and reliance therupon) are execrable.
Hedley Lamarr
Baseball color guys who won’t shut up: Orel Hershheiser and Rick "the droner" Sutcliffe.
comrade rawshark
In Buffalo there is a guy who does the hockey games who sounds like his tongue is at least two sizes too big for his mouth and he’s doing a Sylvester the Cat impression. They could probably resurface theice between periods just by wiping his mike on the ice.
The only guy who shoud ever call baseball is Jerry Remy.
We all did that. :)
Bubblegum Tate
@Vlad:
C’mon, man. Eric "Sleeping With" Bieniemy was funny.
Punchy
Bert "be home" Byleven.
ksmiami
Why I love BJ – This is a Myers-Briggs like analysis of the blog author at Typalizer. John Cole I think this is you to a T – Enjoy:
The analysis indicates that the author of https://balloon-juice.com is of the type:
Tymannosourus
@Punchy:
I like Bert except for the whole "circle me" nonsense. Plus he drops f-bombs on TV!
Xanthippas
Truth is I can’t stand most of them, but I do like the Madden-Michaels and Buck-Aikman (and I really don’t get what’s so offensive to anybody about the last two.) Generally, I don’t watch MNF unless the Cowboys are playing, as moving MNF to ESPN and the "real" MNF to Sunday night was heresy I will probably never be able to overcome.
Dennis - SGMM
Kids. When I was a youngster I listened to Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese. Dean’s mangling of the English language was a joy.
burnspbesq
The three worst of all time:
Dave O’Brien trying to do the 2006 World Cup on ESPN. Understanding the game you are calling should be a minimum requirement.
Bob Harris, who does Duke football and men’s basketball on radio. I’m a Duke fan, and I think he sucks. He’s always at least 30 seconds behind the play.
John Sterling. His picture is next to the word "suck" in my dictionary.
Jules
I second Brent Musburger. And John Sterling is truly truly bad.
burnspbesq
(Dis)Honorable mention: Brandi Chastain. Great player, not hard to look at, but cannot announce.
Downpuppy
For a while, the Celtics had Cedric Maxwell as an announcer. Think Magic Johnson, slowed down & with a massively swollen tongue.
burnspbesq
The second best color guy in all of sportscasting is Dan Bonner, who does men’s college basketball for ESPN and CBS. Knows the game, knows how to get a point across, knows when to shut up.
The best is someone that 99 percent of you have probably never heard of: Leif Elsmo, who does lacrosse for ESPN. Guy can get more useful information across in 1.5 seconds than anyone I’ve ever heard.
Comrade Jake
@Elvis Elvisberg:
He was my first thought. He is absolutely fucking retarded.
cminus
Am I really the first person to suggest Lee Jordan? Okay, he’s not as bad as Dick Vitale or Joe Buck, but he’s an obvious homer who doesn’t get any less unlistenable when he’s on your side, and the "insights" he brings to the booth are mostly of the caliber "they’re behind, so they need to score if they want to win."
demimondian
@smiley: Um, wait.
You mean that there’s an audio channel on football games?
Randall
I like Kornheiser because he gives me hope. Here is a guy seemingly devoid of talent and charisma yet he has his dream job just by trying
to do it his whole life. He must be looked at as an add-on and should
not be taken seriously (he is absolutely comical during cowboy games).
Chick Hearn was the best announcer I have ever heard. He loved the
Lakers but he wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is and I’m a Celtics fan.
The day Chris Berman and Tom Jackson are replaced (especially Jackson) there will be a celebration in my house.
Comrade Jake
@comrade rawshark:
Remy and Don are exceptional. Red Sox fans are incredibly spoiled.
4tehlulz
@Downpuppy: Cedric >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Heinson any day of the week; at least he isn’t ZOMG THE OFFICIALS HAET THE CELTICS ITZ A CONSPIRACY after every fucking whistle.
Mwangangi
@comrade rawshark:
Which Buffalo are you talking about? Not Buffalo, N.Y. unless you’re talking about someone NOT named Rick Jeanneret. Hockey is simply a more boring sport to watch without him. I do also happen to like the cats who do the west coast Hockey Night in Canada coverage.
For national I’ll take Melrose over Clement-Clement, brains of cement any day.
Mwangangi
I also find it funny that we mostly like our locals, but tend to hate the same core group of national announcers. I really, really want to beat Collingsworth like my step-sister’s, foster uncle’s, rented mule– with an acid coated ball peen hammer.
Steve in Sacto
Sports broadcasting related, just have to add that ‘fresh prince’ Stuart Scott makes SportsCenter unwatchable.
Josh Hueco
@Steve in Sacto:
QUITE FRANKLY YOU HAVE NEGLECTED TO MENTION STEPHEN A. SMITH, who talks like your racist uncle’s impression of black people.
MCA
*Re: Hawk Harrelson, no disagreement here that he’s the biggest homer ever, but as a Minnesotan living in Chicago, there is absolutely nothing more entertaining than watching Hawk hit for the cycle of ump bashing, enviously despairing over fundamentals, whining about the Sox’ overreliance on homeruns and verbally blowing the entire Minnesota organization every time the Pale Hose lose to the Twins.
*Whoever said they’d watch any sporting event with Gus Johnson I challenge to a duel. The way that guy runs every sentence up to a deafening crescendo like it’s a buzzer beater in the biggest game of all time makes me want to strangle him.
*Since we’ve added just about all the bad ones, I’ll submit some of the second tier college hoops guys are much better than the stars – Jimmy Dykes, Ron Franklin, guys like that. I am an admitted Raftery fan, as well. He adds enthusiasm without being too over the top about it, while adding actual insight and a good lens on critical tactical issues.
*In other arenas, here’s some love for David Feherty. Awesome. Also, Cliff Drysdale and John McEnroe are fantastic. Even better when Mary Carillo joins them.
Jim
I like Paul Maguire. Of course, I was born in Buffalo and helped teach his daughter to swim, so I’m biased.
Litlebritdifrnt
I have been waiting all day for an open thread so I can post good news but there hasn’t been one so this will have to be it. My husband’s band The West Columbus Marching Vikings have been invited to the NC Governor’s Inauguration Parade. I am so proud I could spit. (but I am drinking a nice Yellow Tail cabernet/shiraz blend so I won’t) Wooooooot!
HumboldtBlue
Only if you include Julie Foudy.
Dick Weathers
I’ll go the positive route and say that Ernie Harwell was one of the greatest to ever call a game.
smiley
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Congrats!
Bubba
In defense of Tony Kornheiser, he was just out of his element. Followed him for years in the Washington Post. Needed to stay in print.
tim serbo
fun thread. do any red sox fans out there remember ned martin, of sacred memory? as good as don and rem-dog are (and they’re terrific), ned was the best.
and i hoist my sierra nevada to Litlebritdifrnt. i love a parade.
Richard Stanczak
Paul Maguire is the worst ever. Everybody is a ‘tough guy’. He had that rare ability to make anyone else on his announcing team worse. I mean way worse. The Sunday night football team he was a part of was absolutely brutal. Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick were the all time worst threesome. I could only watch the game with the sound off and the radio on. Or if the reception was bad, no sound.
For excellent announcers/colour commentators how about Bob Trumpy, Tom Brookshier, Jack Whitaker, Hank Stram, Dick Irvin [Hockey- Montreal Canadiens], and Matt Millen [worst GM ever, but a pretty good colour guy].
Steve
@*: Fox Sports West used to do this once in a while for Lakers games, and I agree that it was great. I’ve since left Southern California so I don’t know if they still broadcast games that way.
Comrade Jake
@Josh Hueco:
He’s beyond terrible. And yet, some genius at ESPN thought to give him his own show at one point. I could never figure out if they did that because they thought there was some remote chance he’d exceed their wildest expectations, or if it was simply a means of minimizing the damage to the other anchors.
neal peart
Gary Bender.
gwangung
Heh. To me, the epitome of "can play the game without knowing a thing about it."
Heh. Seattle, Dave Niehaus is God, Dave Sims is barely competent and the rest of the broadcasters can be dropped into a giant pit of suck….and immediately make it worse.
HyperIon
@Dennis – SGMM:
beat you to it in comment #68
Dizzy used to sing, too.
ChrisB
My loathing of Mussberger goes back to the 70’s. I hated CBS’ NFL Today show with Phyllis George, Irv Cross and Jimmy the Greek.
And thanks for the many dead on comments about tools like Vitale, McCarver, Buck et als.
You may not have liked him as a coach, but Bobby Knight did a great job as a color commentator on an ESPN game last week. Pointed out all sorts of little things and fine points.
Jay
I believe Mr. Cole, with his customary brio, once bashed Randy Cross, so we can’t leave him out…
Comrade Rommie
One of the few bright spots in Michigan is that we have, for the most part, good to excellent local radio and TV sports commentators.
Of course, the exception would be the Lions’ radio booth. They threw out the decent guy they had two years ago, and replaced him with a cheerleading hack. He was insufferable when Detroit started 6-2 last year – and then Ceiling Cat intervened, and Mr. Cheerleader Hack gets to call the 1-18 run they are currently on. HA. HA. HA.
I guess I’m one of the few who can tolerate Musberger – but I grew up with the guy being in the old CBS studio before Lions games.
The Moose-Siragusa tag team are the ones that make me want to fill my ears with cement.
Comrade Stuck
The Ole Lefthander Joe "Nuxi" Nuxhall. RIP. You could always tell what inning it was when turning on the radio, by the degree he slurred his words. By the seventh or eighth inning he was very "Moody With a Hoody". A reference to what the barkers called the watered down piss they sold as beer *Hudepohl" at Cincy Reds games.
Tymannosourus
I will continue my thread of complaint with not a single announcer, but an announcing trend that has caught on within the last couple years: the "here’s a guy" phenomenon.
Rather than say "Matt Ryan has tremendous talent," announcers now say: Matt Ryan is a guy with tremendous talent; or they will say, "you really need to appreciate a guy like Adrian Peterson." There is no guy like Adrian Peterson, there is just Adrian Peterson.
If you haven’t noticed this yet, look for it; and it will drive you completely insane from now on.
Blue Raven
Two bits:
1) Nobody corrected the claim Madden played hockey? Y’all are slipping.
2) No list of bad sports announcers is complete without Bud Collins. Worst thing to happen to tennis in decades. Rude, smug, offensive.
South of I-10
Y’all are cracking me up. Is this why I have to watch every Saints/LSU game with the sound down and the radio on?
Litlebritdifrnt
Smiley – thanx – I am so proud of both DH and his band:)
MCA
Tymannosourus, along those same lines is the listing of individual players as types, as in "There are only so many Adrian Petersons in this league" or (even more annoying) "You take your Adrian Petersons, your LaDanian Tomlinsons, guys like that…" There aren’t multiples of these players. And why are they "mine?"
Comrade Stuck
Nuxhall was a great announcer and much loved by all Reds fans. Only when he got too drunk to talk was he bad, but in a good way/
Xanthippas
Oh man…I forgot about that. Yeah, him and Balboa were horrible. I guess between a guy who could talk but doesn’t know soccer and a guy who knows soccer but can’t talk, ESPN must have figured they’d add up to one competent sportscaster.
burnspbesq
@ChrisB:
Word. Coach Knight has been a jackass far too often, but I learned a ton from listening to him do the SIU-Duke game.
There were a couple of replays where it was pretty obvious that the SIU point guard, # 10, who was the MVC defenseive player of the year last year, was just grabbing his man with both hands to keep him from going around a screen and popping out to the corner. Would have been interesting to hear Knight’s comments on that; I imagine he’s been teaching slow white guys to do that for about the last 40 years (probably started when K was his point guard at West Point).
Xanthippas
Oh wow…I’d forgotten her too. Maybe bad soccer sportscasters aren’t worth mentioning, since the ones that are any good are actually in the minority.
Mwangangi
@Blue Raven:
There are two John Maddens: one plays (N.H.L) for the Devils, and the other coached the (N.F.L.) Raiders.
The second one is the one who calls football games.
burnspbesq
@Xanthippas:
And they have a first-class soccer announcer in J.P. Dellacamera. Never could figure out why they didn’t use him.
burnspbesq
@Xanthippas:
In the entire history of this continent, there have only been two really good soccer announcers: Norberto Longo (may he rest in peace) and Andres Cantor.
Josh Hueco
Semi-sorta OT, but GM has chosen to terminate its sponsorship contract with Tiger Woods. Sign of the times, I guess.
ChrisB
Having turned to soccer, this thread would not be complete without a reference to Jack Edwards’ "Mine eyes have seen the glory!" call during the 2002 World Cup.
ppcli
I think this is one case where Canada might take the prize: despite the strong claims of Pam Ward, Kornheiser, etc., there isn’t a single American sportscaster who makes me want to shoot my TV as often as Don Cherry of Hockey Night in Canada.
smiley
@South of I-10:
South of I-10
Since it’s sports related – Saints bitches!!
freelancer
@ Mwangangi
EL. OH. EL.
In Nebraska, we had a duplicitous prick named Jim Rose doing play-by-play for NU. I couldn’t stand the guy. Evidently he had a nervous breakdown vs Kansas last year due to the staggering loss. What a cheerleading d-bag
Comrade Jake
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Heh. I assume you’ve never visited the excellent website, Fire Joe Morgan. It’s pretty much must-read material.
Randy Paul
What BDWB said about Tommy Smyth. I’d like to stuiff him in an old onion bag.
[delurk]...[/delurk]
Does-he-even-have-a-first-name Gumbel: Bryant’s brother.
The First words out of his mouth the first night of the Lillehammer Olympics were just exactly what everybody had been holding their hands over their ears and going LA-LA-LA-LA! all day to keep from hearing. AND he kept it up every night for the rest of the Games. What a douche!
Comrade Scrutinizer
All time worst?
Jayne Kennedy. Although she and Isaac made a hell of a home movie, once upon a time.
Bob In Pacifica
Ever since the Niners have been consistently sucking FOX only provides guys who are auditioning or on two-week contracts. Don’t even know their names.
Joe Starkey, who does the Cal Bear radio games and Niners radio (he did the famous "The Play" where the kickoff is lateraled through the Stanford band) is enjoyable except he never seems to be able to get yardlines right. That’s kind of important on radio.
Joe Buck did the Niners-Cowboys game yesterday and I was reminded of his suckitude.
I kind of like Collingsworth. Sometimes he actually says something worthwhile. He can sleep with my girlfriend. But Joe Buck can’t.
I like Phil Simms okay.
Don’t like that guy who does college basketball and yells a lot.
My favorite announcer was the late Bill King, who did baseball, was the voice of the Raiders for years (until the evil Al Davis fired him because he wouldn’t take a pay cut), and was fantastic doing Warriors basketball. When he first did Warriors tv they wouldn’t show him on camera. He had longish hair, a mustache and goatee and the tv station thought he looked like the Devil. Lived on a houseboat in Sausalito and was the coolest dude ever.
Another good radio baseball announcer was Hank Greenwald. He was good because he announced the Giants for a decade when they sucked badly and I still listened. He was entertaining when the Giants weren’t. It’s a talent few announcers have. I like John Miller too. In fact, the whole Giants tv-radio announcing team are good, much better than the team itself.
J. Michael Neal
John Madden
When he was at the University of Michigan, I voted him Player Most Likely to Set His Own Hair on Fire. As a junior, he was the third highest team in the nation in scoring short-handed goals.
jp2
Well, I think every possible commentator has been called out at this point.
As a larger than average sports fan, I never understood peoples fascination with announcing. Whole websites/forums dedicated to the idle chit chat in the background of a game. You really only need two announcers: one says "Did you see that?!" and the other answers affirmatively.
If they are annoying you either tune them out or turn the volume down. Problem solved.
J. Michael Neal
The show Jaworski used to do was Edge NFL Matchup, with Merrill Hoge. It was an absolute, must watch. It’s premise was that the watcher wanted to learn about football. Crazy, I know.
I had the MLB cable package over the summer, and became familiar with broadcast crews all over the country. The worst team, non-Harrelson division, was the Arizona Diamondbacks. Mark Grace and whoever works with him was not only annoying, but crossed into being offensive on a fairly regular basis.
I can’t stand the Dodgers, but I watched their games all the time, because Vin Scully is still fantastic. I also tried to catch Orioles broadcasts long enough to see if Gary Thorne was working, which he did about half the time. I like him a lot. He’s good at hockey, and better at baseball.
Killjoy
@Comrade Jake:
During the NBA draft two years ago Stephen A. Smith was yelling back and forth with Dick Vitale about one of the college players. Blood started to flow from my ears shortly thereafter.
Punchy
I’m going to go all triple axle sowchow on y’allz asses and drop DICK BUTTONS, beeyotchez.
slammin' sammy
the worst: musberger, mccarver, berman, kornheiser, vitale
the best: jon miller
Cheryl from Maryland
I miss Jimmy Piersall for the White Sox. Baseball announcers nowadays focus so much on the battery that one looses much of the game (which is why Tim McCarver should be gone, gone, gone — take Joe Morgan with you). Ditto for football — Former offensive players are less interesting than former defensive players. So many of these announcers annoy because they cannot not talk about the total game. Someone who has potential which will probably be destroyed — Brian Billick. Who knew, but he can talk coherently about BOTH sides of the ball.
SixStringFanatic
In reference to Ron Jaworski, he still does a show on ESPN where he breaks down plays, called NFL Match up. It is hands down the best tv show dedicated to the NFL ever. So of course ESPN, in its infinite wisdom, broadcasts the show at 3 am and 8 am Sundays. It is perhaps my favorite example of the absolute stupidity of large corporations.
Joel
Billy Packer was one of the only guys I remember who actively disdained the sport he was covering.
dadanarchist
Bill Walton is the absolute fucking worst.
As a dedicated Trail Blazers fan, I was subjected to his idiocy, nearly every game, for years.
The only thing that redeemed his shitty commentary is when his frequent broadcast partner, the excellent Steve ‘Snapper’ Jones would have to correct his absolute stupidity, which led to some excellent television.
reid
@Gus:
Ditto on the White Sox announcers. I’m an A’s fan and tried to watch them play the Sox several years ago. They were such homer assholes I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never watched them again. Just awful, and surely embarrassing even if you’re a Sox fan.
Gus
Why not? He ran the ridiculously good ’98 Vikings offense, and won a Super Bowl with a team that was all defense. Since someone brought up Bert Blyleven, I gotta say I love the guy, but he gives zero insight into the game. All he does is bitch about how pitchers today don’t pitch a complete game. A guy who I thought would be a great color guy but really disappointed me was Leo Mazzone. He gives some good insight, but he talks about his great Atlanta staffs too much, and he laughs so much it’s almost creepy.
DougJ
The Sunday night football team he was a part of was absolutely brutal. Joe Theismann and Mike Patrick were the all time worst threesome.
You wanna talk about some guys who can flat suck? You wanna talk about some guys I can’t stand to listen to?
McCarver can bring the suck but that old Sunday Night football crew was by far the worst announcing team ever assembled.
DougJ
the best: jon miller
The best modern sportscaster is Marv Albert. In the old-timer category I’ll go with Vin Scully.
It’s not really a major sport but if we include tennis, Jon McEnroe has to be in the mix (as the kids like to say). There’s no one else who can make me care about a contest between two badly-coiffed Eastern Europeans I’ve never heard of before.
DougJ
Amen. He’s got to be up there. He didn’t say much and when he did talk he sounded like he was getting through a scotch-and-Camels hangover (I stole that from the Sportsguy I think). The Johnny Cash of sportscasting.
Incertus
@SixStringFanatic: That’s why the DVR is the greatest invention of the last twenty years, bar none. Well, that and you can skip the commercials.
Michael Gass
Tony Kornheiser is the worst.. EVER.
Write him at [email protected] and ask him to quit Monday Night Football. Please? I did!
Bubblegum Tate
That’s the one. Fucking great show. I learned things I didn’t know, and I was shown details I had previously overlooked.
Hawthorne Wingnut
Any Met fans here? How about Fran Healy?? Backup catcher to Thurman Munson and Reggie Jackson’s cabana boy, someone in the Yankee front office had the bright idea to put him in the booth. For some reason the Mets picked him up and he made Lorn Brown (remember him?) seem like Bob Murphy.
freelancer
John,
Please,
I KAN HAZ OPIN THREAD?!
K THX BAI
Joe Buck
"Joe Buck" is my actual name, and I had it a couple of years before the sportscaster did. There’s also an alt-country band by that name, plus Jon Voight’s character in "Midnight Cowboy" though at least not too many people remember that.
J. Michael Neal
Same sport: Mary Carillo. She has the advantage that John McEnroe respects and likes her enough that she can rip him when he acts up. She can get away with saying things to him that no one else can, and she was able to even back when they were both playing.
J. Michael Neal
It’s a pity Joe Buck is so awful, because his father was great.
robertdsc
I hear you.
Bob Miller did Kings games during the Gretzky era and I really enjoyed his way of describing things. His former partner, Nick Nickson, moved over to the lead spot and does Kings games on the radio. I can’t handle him for very long.
Years ago, I was a big Jim Rome fan and used to listen to his radio show all the time. I wound up getting his autograph at one of his publicity stops in Hollywood.
Off the top of my head:
Al Michaels is fine by me. I miss Madden and Summerall together. I liked Dick Stockton doing NBA games on CBS in the 80s. Phil Simms bugs me to no end. I liked Ronnie Lott in his second year on Fox. Howie Long is fine by me.
Tattoosydney
@freelancer:
No kan haz opin thred.
John sleapng naow.
go way.
Ash Can
I’ll happily pile on Hawk Harrelson. Granted, I’m not a White Sox fan, but two plate-glass trucks sideswiping each other sounds better than his announcing. Give the cornball crap a rest, Harrelson; Bridgeport isn’t that far south. And it slays me that Steve Stone, who is outstanding, will be in the booth with him next season. I don’t know if I can put up with Hawk in order to get the payoff of Stony’s commentary. I still haven’t forgiven the Cubs’ management for fucking things up with Stone.
Being a Cubs fan, on the other hand — especially one old enough to remember his playing days — I don’t mind Ron Santo a bit. Quirky doesn’t begin to describe him, but it’s my kind of quirky, and the magnificent Pat Hughes is the perfect foil for him. Kasper and Brenly are fine, but the Santo-Hughes show is sheer box office.
Taking a look back down Memory Lane, Harry Caray grew on me after a while, but he was never quite as good as Jack Brickhouse. And, on the radio side, I could have listened to Vince Lloyd and Lou Boudreau forever.
Finally, as for Barack Obama being a White Sox fan — hell, he could be a Mets fan with an Ernie Banks dartboard on his office wall and I wouldn’t care, as long as he can get shit done.
NonWonderDog (НеинтереснаяСобака)
@Comrade Rommie:
Yes. Mario Impemba and Rod Allen are very good, by MLB standards. Mickey Redmond is epic. George Blaha is excellent, and Kelser isn’t bad either. The Lions announcers are shit, of course, but so is the team.
Ernie Harwell did some cameo jobbies for the Tigers last year, too, which was excellent. Ninety years old and still strong.
The worst announcer in all of sports has got to be a tie between Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan. Joe isn’t quite as objectively bad, but he’s always paired up with Jon Miller, and Jon Miller is the best in the business. Joe Morgan makes even Miller’s sportscasts hard to listen to.
Dishonorable mentions to Chris Berman and Hawk Harrelson. Either makes me want to stab knives in my eardrums."BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK …"
Rommie
NonWonderDog:
Oh no you didn’t link to that Rod Allen video!
I’d love to see an MLB player do that during a Joe Buck broadcast – apoplexy unmatched in broadcast history.
Gravenstone
Coming to my baseball fandom in ’84 with the Cubs, I learned to deal with Harry Caray, but learned to love Steve Stone. I think with that being his introduction to the broadcasting side of the game, and having to fill in airtime for the increasingly erratic Caray as their years wore on together really helped sharpen his style. Add to that his great insight into the game itself and I just found him a joy to listen to.
The other baseball broadcast team of that era I really liked was Bob Costas (who I admit has not aged gracefuly) and Tony Kubek. Kubek was basically the anti-McCarver. A former player who also had a great insight of the game without making it all about him (contra McCarver or Morgan).
And I’ll also (gladly) pile onto the Bash Hawk Harrelson Bandwagon. The man makes Sox games basically unwatchable. I cringe whenever the Sox team gets broadcast duties for their inteleague games with the Cubs. Hopefully Stone can take over that booth this year and somehow force Hawk into the (relative) background. Yeah, right…
Chinn Romney
I have the ability to tune out most of these guys. Tim McCarver stands out though, his incessant second guessing know-it-all spiel drives me bonkers.
I’ve also long hated Brent Mussburger, but not so much for his in-game act. He once interviewed Kareem Abdul Jabbar after he had won a championship, and right after that fire that wiped out his prized collection of jazz records. Now I’m a life long Celtics fan, but Jabbar is a classy, sensitive guy who was trying to talk. That plastic phony Mussburger wasn’t even listening to him. I hate phonies. Well, except for Uncle Mitt of course.
Zzyzx
I usually watch games with music on. If there’s a penalty or something that’s not obvious, I rewind to the explanation to see what happened. It makes my life easier.
Dennis - SGMM
@HyperIon:
Missed it. At least there are two of us who remember Dizzy and Pee Wee.
Jamey the plumber -- an American hero
Al Michaels. Right-wing crackpot AND shitty play-by-play man.
Had his moments a quarter century ago, but currently is the only man who can make Madden look good by comparison.
Dennis - SGMM
OT: Freedom’s Watch Going Down
Via Steve Benen, the Las Vegas Review Journal says that anonymous source have told it that Freedom’s Watch, once touted as the right’s answer to MoveOn.org, will be closing its doors at the end of the year. The schadenfreude continues.
jibeaux
It never should have taken 12 comments to get to that jerk and bully Billy Packer. Between him and Dick Vitale, I watch a lot of basketball without sound. Or with the TV on with the radio sound, which is annoying because of the delay, but sometimes the radio is ahead which is cool because they can predict the shots really, really well.
Bob In Pacifica
Al Michaels is a right-wing crackpot? I never followed him that closely. Just thought he had a major ego problem.
Mike E
Michaels, Saunders, Collinsworth and Tirico are all right wingers, tho CC waits for Olbermann to provoke him into saying something rethug, otherwise he’s okay.
I prayed for the Phils to win in 5 just so my eyeballs wouldn’t bleed — McCarver is so bad because he is the apex of fence-sitting egomania. Packer does this too, with the whole "I wouldn’t have done that!" cowardly bullshit.
Vin Scully, Merrill Reese are great because they are always home-town announcers at heart and this makes them somehow humble. There’s something joyous about the competitive sports experience, and life’s too short to be wasted on jerks who’ll use anything to further their own careers.
BTW Deion Sanders dumped a stinky can of warm beer on Tim McCarver’s head, and is forever in my hall of fame for recognizing the need.
Chinn Romney
Actually Foxhunter he didn’t. He knew Duke and UNC, period, he was completely ignorant of the rest of the College BB world. I can’t tell you how happy I am, referring to that prick in the past tense.
Vlad
"C’mon, man. Eric "Sleeping With" Bieniemy was funny."
Yeah, um, not so much.
Capri
On a positive note – Doris Burke is the Rachael Maddow of basketball commentators.
Kara Lawson is quite good as well.
Heath
Someone above misses Pat Summerall. I think Pat Summerall misses Pat Summerall. He was great, until he started having memory problems, and then it was really interesting hearing John Madden trying to do both color commentary and play-by-play.
I also miss Keith Jackson. Definitely a unique delivery. He knew when to quit, though.
Tony Kornheiser. Ugh. He tried to make the argument last night that Aaron Rodgers is competing with Brett Favre every game he plays, which is truly BS. Even Jaws called him on it.
mellowjohn
i realize i’m late to the thread, but here’s a blast from the (long) past: the late Jack Brickhouse doing anything, and the late Irv Kupcinet when he was pair with Brickhouse doing Chicago Bears games in the 60s and 70s. they were so truly god-awful it was entertaining to listen to them.
Bill Walton
This list is just awwwwfuuuulllllll.
Gus
Gotta agree with the love for Vin Scully. I saw Miller and Morgan invite Ernie Harwell into the booth and let him call a couple innings, and the guy could still call a game at 90. Tigers fans had it pretty good for a long time apparently. Also agree that Steve Stone is tremendous, though his voice is kind of nasal and high pitched. Deion Sanders may have done a great thing by soaking McCarver, but he’s still a douche.
bill croghan
Kornheiser bad. Cowherd real bad. Joe Buck gay( not that theres anything wrong with that) and bad. But no one sucked the way Dennis Miller sucked. Nobody. Ever. Okay, maybe Bill Walton. But nobody else. Nobody. Kornheiser is trying, though, I’ll give him that. He’s got the Miller "God I’m smart" schtick but without the inappropriate literary allusions that keep Miller on top of the bottom.
Old School
Without question, Brent Musberger is the all-time WORST. He’s nothing but a shill for the rich and powerful (I almost threw a beer bottle through my TV screen during the Tennessee-Cal game last year). Musberger is under the impression that the game is but an excuse for the viewers to be treated to him. No one enrages like this egomaniacal ass-clown (although Vitale, for the same reasons, comes close).
Good ones? There has never been a baseball announcer as enjoyable as the Gunner, Bob Prince; although folks in Minnesota are currently very lucky to have John Gordon calling Twins games. If pro football is your gig, the all-time best was the man who proved that "less is more", Ray Scott ("Starr. Dowler. Touchdown."). In college football, Ron Franklin is simply seamless and peerless. Hockey is bless with Mike "Doc" Emrick, who is the top play-by-play guy in the business today and given that his sport is the hardest, by far, to announce, his talent is truly special. If you can stand to watch golf, David Feherty is a hoot (and you gotta love the accent).
Andy K
Phil Simms makes me pine for the (relative) awesomeness that is Ron Pitts.
the worst I’ve ever heard was a adman/jock- sniffer named Rick Berkey, who, because he got paid to sell the ads for all local sporting events around here was given the role of play-by-play man, for which he charged nothing. I heard him call a, "gap shot right at the center fielder," one evening during a Whitecaps broadcast. A-ball, sure, but there’s gotta be some standard a broadcaster should meet, huh?
The best of all time: Bob Ufer.
FearItself
Yoi!
I fondly remember Myron Cope, but that only proves that my judgment of broadcast talent is not to be trusted.