Since John “tagged” me for this whole 6 Random Things About Me meme, I feel I should respond. So here it goes – brutal honestly follows.
1. I have an obsession with counting things. This is probably the most annoying thing in my life. For example, I know exactly how many steps it takes to get from the bottom floor of my building to my cubicle. I know how many steps it takes to get from my back door to my mailbox. And I hate it. I really do. A couple years ago, I saw a psychologist for something unrelated. I was thinking of bringing this up. I didn’t. I wish I did.
2. I hate talking on the phone. It’s almost a phobia. I call my parents in Canada once every two weeks because I have to. Same with my sisters. When I am physically with them, I love talking to them. I hate the phone thing. Same with other family members. I know my brother reads this blog. It’s not that I don’t love you bro. I just hate the phone thing. I really do. But honestly, I like a phone call from you because you are so far away (he lives in Japan.)
3. I love my dog more than anything. Yet, if I had thought about it, I would never have bought her. Turns out, I love her so much that it never occurred to me that she was going to die before me. Still, she is my best friend and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. And, like John, I treat my pet like she is the head of household. She truly is the love of my life.
4. I hate sugar – with few exceptions.
5. I am selfish. I hate that about myself. If someone died tomorrow, I would first think about how that would affect my schedule. I fucking hate it. Fortunately, I have an excellent moral compass. When “shit happens,” I DO tend to think about how those things affect me personally, but I also am very empathetic. I would never let my selfishness affect how I deal with others, for the most part. I am a pretty decent person. Like others, I have my failings, I suppose.
6. I did not know that laws about alcohol differred between counties in Georgia. I am going to Thanksgiving dinner at my cousin’s house on Thursday. I got it in me to go buy his favorite wine at midnight tonight. Turns out, you cannot buy alcohol in Dekalb County after 11:45pm on any night. You can, however, go 100 feet across the street to the store in FULTON county and buy the same thing.
7. I know it’s only supposed to be 6, but I’m adding this one to explain what I would do if I ever win the lottery. First, let me say that I don’t ever play the lottery. To me, it’s a tax on the stupid. But if I ever DID win millions, I would probably pay off everything I owed and the debt of many of my friends and family. Having said that, the FIRST thing I would do if I won millions would be to put out a press release that said, “I just won xxx millions of dollars. I plan on being very generous with this money. If you are a charity that needs money, I understand your plight. However, if you feel the need to badger a person who just won the lottery, you are out of luck. It is the policy of this lottery winner to ignore the pleas of people who are taking advantage of him. The surest way to ensure that you never see a penny of my millions is to bother me in the next six months. After that, please call my attorney, who will decide for me the best way to spend thhe money I have allocated to charity.”
Anyway, that’s a bit about me. And, for what it’s worth, I am a very charitable person. I give a LOT of my yearly salary to charity. I just would hate to win millions and deal with vultures. :-)
passerby
Wow, looks like 1,2, and 3 are ditto for me Michael
@1. There are 33 steps to my front door and sometimes more if I’m lugging groceries. And when I’m filling a glass, pan or watering can with water I count and decide on a number at which I’ll stop filling the vessel. Weird I know. When I pass a road work site with orange barrels, I count them as I drive past.
@ 2. I have no cell phone.
@ 3. I had a red dachshund name Andouille for 15 years. I had to put her down and vowed never again to get a dog. But, now I have a cat who came to me as a hungry stray back in 2000. Yeah, I’m a sucker.
I don’t play the lottery, ever. You’re lucky if you think you are and to me, well, it’s like throwing money away.
mannemalon
OT, anyone here see the CNBC interview with Prince Alwaleed of Saudi Arabia? It’s gold. Video here.
2th&Nayle
Yeah, Georgia does have some weird liquor laws. I was recently in Savannah on the Riverfront and was amazed that when I started to leave a bar there, they offered up a dixie cup for my drink. Apparently it’s within local ordinance to walk down the street with your drink, as long as it’s in a cup, and of course, you’re not totally faced. Try that where I come from and you might as well have a sign around your neck that says, "Arrest Me!" As far as your obsessive counting (and since you don’t play lotto), maybe you ought to take up playing Blackjack.
bago
New cat pic.
Apparently Michael D is a vampire, if the X-Files are to be believed. Also.
littlesky
Hmmm, maybe hating the "phone thing" is more widespread than I had realized.
@passerby:
Me neither, and if I thought I could get away with it, I wouldn’t have a land line.
tng
@1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_disorder
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
I liked you all better before you started telling us about all your fucked up neuroses (sorry, but, honestly that’s how it is).
This is not a dig against you Michael, it’s the whole "6 things" deal, it bites.
Zzyzx
The lottery isn’t always stupid. Run the numbers for your own state, but once the jackpot gets over like 11 million, the odds are actually in your favor if there’s not a split pot. The value of a lottery ticket is the price of the ticket times the odds against you winning times the payoff if you do win. When payoff is greater than the odds against, it makes logical sense to play.
There are two other reasons to play the lottery actually. One is that you like schools (or whatever your state’s money goes to) and don’t mind paying a little extra tax to keep them running smoothly. The second is where you think you’re spending the money in order to spend a week thinking about what you would do if you won.
Dan
That’s funny that you have an obsession counting things, then you post 7 things instead of 6.
mellowjohn
i agree wholeheartedly with #7. the first week illinois had a lottery – in 1970-something – i bought a ticket. didn’t win and said "the hell with it."
Joey Maloney
If the counting really bothers you, Michael, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
kommrade reproductive vigor
@bago: Steal one of his socks and see what he does.
MR. Bill
I know the Lottery is a tax on innumeracy and poor understanding of mathematics (which may very well be hard wired in some way into the human brain, according to some neuroresearch), but play the ticket games to a few bucks a week. I also save the same amount in a special account…
And my kids have all received state lottery funded college educations through the Hope Program…
John S.
@passerby:
I have a red smooth doxie named Sasha who is 12 now but in great shape. She was my first pet (at 19) and my wife’s. We love her like a daughter in addition to our human children.
We will be devastated when she passes, but the only silver lining for me is the chance to own 2 doxies (Sasha is a jealous creature). They do well in pairs.
Octavian
1,2,5 make me think of Asperger Syndrome.
Just sayin’.
germ78
I’m with you on 2 and 5, and much like you on 5, I’m usually able to control the worst aspects of my selfishness. Also, I know you don’t like making calls or receiving calls, but have your brother in Japan get a voip service with a stateside number. My brother also lives in Japan and rarely called before he got a voip number. Now he calls almost weekly (which may not be a great thing for you, but it’s great for others in your family). And plus, when we need to call him now, we don’t have to dial 15 numbers or use pre-paid calling cards.
Hugh
Michael, sounds like OCD to me! Maybe not too far out there on the continuum – but enough for you to take the recommendation of Joey. Probably a high percentage of bloggers have OCD by the way. It would be a positive boon to blogging. Obsessive compulsive tendencies are also associated with Aspergers – but you probably don’t have that. Two other issues associated with Aspergers are heightened sensitivity to environment, such as odors, sunlight, textures, and anxiety related to social situations (anxiety based on actual past negative experiences and not anxiety that has no basis in actual past experience).
I’m an LCSW in private practice. Get that book! OCD is very responsive to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques and in cases where one’s daily functioning is affected, anti-anxiety medication.
MR. Bill
And I’m in a dry county in Georgia, no alcohol sales. The county seat permits sales of wine and beer inside the city limits, but no pouring (a few years back the mayor, convicted chicken fighter and former bootlegger, got all pouring of booze including wine at gallery and nonprofit receptions, banned).
There was a liquor referendum that failed, by 2000 votes, last year. Now the city has a developer offering to put up chain eateries (Outback steakhouse, eg.) along with a number of tourism related businesses (Bass Pro shops, eg.) in a large vacant lot if he can get pouring. The neighboring counties south and in neighboring TN are wet, this is silliness in a county with a long and honorable tradition of liquor making and interstate smuggling, but very, very Baptist. It’s an even bet, even in these hard times. if the City Council will go for it.
Octavian, I always (having had a relationship with one) that ‘engineer’ was a synonym for ‘having Asperger’s’.
4tehlulz
ITT we abuse DSM-IV.
Josh Hueco
I admit I play the state lotto. Just the same numbers each week. I don’t buy scratch-its or any of that other stuff. I don’t bet book on sporting events either. The odds are 25MM to 1, but it’s just a couple bucks a week, money I would have thrown away at the coffee shop otherwise. Plus the (sorely needed) money goes to the schools. And I get to fantasize about how I’ll spend the money when I win. Hey, if a black dude named Hussein can be elected president in America then I can win the lottery. It’s my own personal audacity of hope.
Robert Johnston
@Zzyzx:
Nope. First of all, not considering the possibility of a split pot is ridiculous. Second of all, the possibility of a split pot increases dramatically as the jackpot increases because more people buy more tickets. Third, the "jackpot" is the wrong number to use in any calculations of these sorts; you need instead to consider the after-tax income on the lump sum payout. Fourth, you also need to consider the declining marginal value of the dollar for all large prizes; a 1 in 10,000,000 chance of winning $15,000,000 after tax on a $1 bet is a very bad bet for anyone who isn’t already fabulously wealthy, even if they’re not at all risk averse.
The only justification for playing any lottery is the thrill of playing, the entertainment value. And you know what: so long as you recognize that’s why you’re playing the lottery and you stay within your entertainment budget when buying lottery tickets, that’s a good enough reason. But don’t ever pretend that there’s a lottery in existence that’s anything approaching a good bet on the numbers.
Joshua James
As an alternative to talking on the phone, you could always video skype on the computer. . . it’s free . . . my son talks to his grandparents in Japan a few times every week, it’s a video chat and pretty dang cool . . .
Punchy
OT:
If you’re an Iraqi, and you decide to read this, what the fuck are you supposed to think?
Especially this:
I may be crazy, but doesn’t this pretty explicitly say that the Bush Admin will "interpret" this to mean anything the fuck it wants, words be dammed? Just how brazen can Bush get with this? Do Iraqis not have the Intertoobz?
liberal
Some relatively prominent female blogger (can’t remember which) had an entire post once re how, as she got older, her desire to and tolerance for talking on the phone decreased dramatically.
I think she’s onto something; it’s certainly true for me.
liberal
@Punchy:
It’s like the signing statements here.
Brings up that Treasury decision that lets banks write off another bank’s tax losses after acquisition. Most tax attorneys apparently say it’s against statute, but apparently no one has standing to bring suit. So, Congress would have to reaffirm the statute.
Joey Maloney
What liberal said, Punchy. Bush is perfectly happy to ignore the words of laws passed by 535 guys that work just down the street; you think he gives a shit what a bunch of brown people 12000 miles away think?
CrazyNewfie
Hah, I have the counting thing too, and have for as long as I can remember.
The crazy thing is that I also usually start factoring the number if its factors aren’t too big. Ugh.
Paul in KY
Micheal D said: ‘love my dog more than anything. Yet, if I had thought about it, I would never have bought her. Turns out, I love her so much that it never occurred to me that she was going to die before me.’
Don’t be so sure that you will outlive her. You never know what the future might bring.
David Hunt
I’m sure that some of them still have that. However, they’re just hanging on until he’s out of office…now that they know McCain isn’t on the way in. Talks negotiating the Iraqi government renewing our permission to stay in Iraq were stalled until right after election day. Our current agreement with a firm withdrawal deadline was signed almost immediately thereafter. IIRC, the Iraqis almost came right out and said that they weren’t willing to sign on until they knew the next U.S. President was someone they trusted to actually abide by any agreement that has U.S. troops leading Iraq. It’s clear that they didn’t trust Mr. "Why not a hundred years in Iraq" to stick by any prior treaty that had him removing troops.
Bob In Pacifica
1. Buying a lottery ticket isn’t that much different from the ugly guy at the bar buying himself a drink and feeling like he might get lucky with the beautiful girl at the other end of the bar. No harm, no foul. It’s when he buys a hundred drinks for himself that problems happen.
There was actually an article in The Baffler, I presume it’s now defunct, about the logic of the poor buying a lottery ticket.
Of course, lotteries tend to change people’s thinking from egalitarian to more self-centered thought. You tend not to go out on picket lines for better wages if you’re dreaming about mojitos on a private beach.
2. I walk a lot now. I used to walk a lot before I retired.
3. I had to stop drinking with my diabetes diagnosis, but I still have half a bottle of Irish whiskey in the cupboard, and I had a drink on election night.
4. I write songs. I had one song on one album and every few years I get a few bucks for my royalties. For some reason it was popular in France, the Netherlands and Southeast Asia. My original song was about a factory closing but was changed by the artist to be about "returning love". The hook in the chorus was originally an accordian countermelody.
The older I get the harder it is for me to write passionate love songs. I just don’t get as passionate anymore. I think my most passionate, desperate love was a crush on a girl with curly blonde hair when I was in grammar school. God, that was painful. You approach sixty, love is fine, but you have alternatives if things don’t work out.
5. I’m hoping that the recession will eliminate even more Starbucks. Nothing against them, just their omnipresence.
6. I mostly wear t-shirts and jeans now. Since I’ve been hiking regularly I’ve gone from a 42 waist to 38, and from XXLXL to LXL.
7. I wear walking shoes with steel roll bars in them for support.
8. My mom owns part of an oil well somewhere down in Mississippi. When the world was crashing under the weight of higher oil prices she was getting lots of money.
Dennis - SGMM
From McClatchy:
U.S. staying silent on its view of Iraq pact until after vote
That’s right, kids, according to the Bush administration, key provisions of the agreement are moot because wesayso. Although these provisions are dear to Iraqis and key to affirming Iraqi sovereignty Bushco interprets them into just so much asswipe. On the other hand, this does show that the Bush administration is even-handed in ignoring laws and treaties no matter what their origin.
joe from Lowell
I was daydreaming what I would do if I won the lottery, when I realized that I sounded like the guy in "If I Had a Million Dollars."
I’d get rid of my old Honda Civic and get a new Honda Civic. Maybe a hybrid.
I’d throw out all of my tube socks – just, all of ’em! – and buy, like, three new packs.
I’d sell my house in the Lowell Highlands, and buy a slightly larger house in the Lowell Highlands. Maybe one with a garage. Detatched is OK.
I could use a new dress shirt.
Etc.
Dennis - SGMM
@joe from Lowell:
I’d buy a new laptop for work. Yeah, that’s it.
Kevin K.
John Cole, per the very explicit Six Random Things Rules, I am letting you know that I have completed my task.
IU1995
Maybe this explains why I visit this blog daily. Your #1 is one of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and your #2 describes me and phones perfectly. They should’ve never invented Caller ID.
The Moar You Know
@4tehlulz: No shit. Paging Dr. Frist, we need a diagnosis based on some words that may or may not be true.
ThymeZone
( time passes)
Oh yeah, that was brutal.
[rolls eyes]
ThymeZone
@joe from Lowell:
Funny stuff. But at least your post had some searing intellectual depth to it, compared to the top of the thread.
Just sayin.
But seriously, your blurb was lulz.
ThymeZone
Black Friday just cannot get here fast enough.
Screamin' Demon
They have drugs for that now.
Texan New Yorker
@6: That’s a southern thing in general. Texas, my home state, has just as much weirdness, though it’s starting to fade away. Most of Dallas county (and certainly all of its neighbor counties) outlawed alcohol sales, outside of being for purchase in a location that has membership requirements.
It creates some very odd patterns. To purchase a drink at most restaurants, you would have to become a member of this weird club that came into existence solely to allow restaurants to sell alcohol. You’d fill out a single slip of paper, the restaurant would send it off in the mail and you’d get your card. Oh, and no sending a bottle of wine to a friend in a ‘dry county’, either; my parents had to ask someone to receive a bottle of wine they purchased online, as it couldn’t be shipped to our address.
To purchase alcohol at a store, you’d have to go and enter Dallas city proper, or visit one of those other holdout suburbs that allowed liquor stores. You’ll still hear people occasionally say that they’re going ‘across the river’, which means sneaking into a wet county/city to buy beer/wine/what-have-you. The spectres of the temperance movement did not quite fade with the repeal of Prohibition.
The very first time I entered a supermarket that sold alcohol, I was shocked. It is still, to this day, the weirdest moment in my life, and I’ve never quite gotten over it.
John Cole
Re: The phone
I dislike talking on the phone so much that it is a running joke with my siblings and parents. It is not uncommon for them to call me to say something, I will say something brief before they spit out the reason they called, and then announce I am busy or done talking and hang up before they manage to talk about the reason they called.
I am not sure what it is. I have always hated the phone.
Will
Yay! Somebody else who hates sugar! I feel like a leper for not liking sweets sometimes.
ThymeZone
Okay, I give in. I will play this blog game.
1. The more I find out, the less I think I know.
2. I like to make people laugh. Except Michael D, him I just like to piss off.
3. I think that John Cole works his ass off to make this the best blog out there for commenting.
4. I can’t decide between Duke Ellington, Rachmaninoff, Armstrong, Sarah Vaughan, and the Assunto Brothers, for favorite music. I also like Aimee Mann, and Kanye West killed on Letterman the other night. Loud electronica in the car is a fine thing.
5. I think that the measure of a society is how well it takes care of the people who can’t take care of themselves.
6. Barack Obama’s election is the greatest thing that has happened in this country in my lifetime.
ThymeZone
Kanye West on Letterman.
ThymeZone
I forgot, Glenn Gould.
gopher2b
I only play the lottery when it goes over $200 million. The odds are still against you (after taxes and increased chance of splitting), but it’s worth the dollar to dream for a few hours.
I absolutely hate talking on the phone. Hate, hate, hate it. I love talking to people in person though. I think people who can read and use body language effectively have a disportionate hatred for the phone. Someone should write an academic paper on that.
Michael D.
@ThymeZone:
I don’t get pissed off. I just usually ignore you anyway. Wasting your time.
Gus
I’m with you on the dog love thing. My mutts are only five, but I worry about how I’ll react when they die. I suspect I won’t want to go through that again. They might be the last dogs I own.
TheHatOnMyCat
No, you’re a liar. You post some pissy response every time.
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
and this is different from the last eight years HOW?
Sarcastro
I did not know that laws about alcohol differred between counties in Georgia.
Really? Completely unaware of the root cause of the ancient southern traditions of moonshining and blockade running that gave rise to NASCAR?
A la lanterne les aristos!
I enjoy buying a lotto ticket now and then but understand that I’m paying for the entertainment factor, like getting my palm read at a state fair. My sister and I play ‘if I had a million dollars’ now and then, except like the women in the Dorothy Parker story we had to raise that amount to 100 mill quite a while back.
I generally dislike making and receiving calls, although once I’m on the phone with someone I like to chat with I can go on for hours. I think text messaging is the best thing since sliced bread.
Dave
And here I thought I was the only one with a phone phobia. It almost interferes with my daily life, it is that bad. Friends wonder if I’ve fallen off the face of the earth – but when I see them in person, I’m fine.
I’ve googled and googled, and never really found anything that describes it.
I hate talking on it, I hate when it rings, I don’t like to call, or answer it. I will literally put something off for WEEKS sometimes, when a part of the process requires a phone call.
My significant other and I never talk on the phone – but we text, IM, and email constantly.
donviti
in short, you are the Charitable Decider
CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
Okay, I’ve decided to mention ONE random thing about me:
TZ has turned me into a Sake-holic.
:)
I like the stuff, a lot!
Bob Barbaque
Michael,first You have to learn to forgive Yourself.
Stop hating Yourself for being Human and You’ll find it easier to forgive the obnoxious assholes of questionable merit.
Repeat after Me:
I’m good enough.
I’m smart enough.
And doggone it,People like Me!
Happy Thanksgiving!
chris
hey Michael D –
I just want to second the recommendation that you take OCD seriously, as I’ve seen my brother have it, then do something about it, and its made a big difference in his life even if he didn’t recognize how it impaired his functioning sometimes (especially under high stress conditions).
He’s a scientist. You wouldn’t have known he had OCD, but getting on medication has made a huge difference to his productivity/happiness. Worth a pro opinion in my book