Yes, I’m the new poster John alluded to earlier. I’d like to thank the Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him, none of this is possible.
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by DougJ| 65 Comments
This post is in: First Posts, Blogospheric Navel-Gazing, General Stupidity
Yes, I’m the new poster John alluded to earlier. I’d like to thank the Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him, none of this is possible.
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tomjones
Can we get Dug jay instead?
DougJ
John’s original choice was birdzilla. But there were questions about his ties to Rod Blagojevich.
TenguPhule
Ahahahahaha!
I called it!
Ninerdave
Damn, I was hoping for Darrell.
bago
Sentences you never thought you would ever say:
I’m talking about Blagojevich’s taint.
tripletee
I guess if I have to take a slap in the face, I’d rather it came from DougJ than Jeff Goldstein.
Warren Terra
The great thing is that with the mobile-optimized browser version of Balloon Juice the poster isn’t identified, so for all I know the new front pager is Dug Jay.
carpeicthus
Oh, happy day.
srv
John! Point of Order! I demand a quorum of the Juicerati!
You cannot not let DougJ have access to the IP logs. That will destroy all the fun and prevent us from seeking our long justified vengence upon him.
Jeff
Just goes to prove that John is aware of all internet traditions.
neal peart
This is a sign of the Acopalypse.
Delia
Can we get our own logo now? For when we go to do battle against RedState Strike Force with DougJ as Teh Awesomest Captain?
The Moar You Know
Yes, I agree with Delia. We need our own unit patch. With a reference to "the inmates now run the asylum".
I am somewhat disappointed it wasn’t Brick Oven Bill. That would have been epic trolling of your own blog.
cd6
I assume DougJ only got the job because Stormy turned it down.
Xenos
@The Moar You Know: I would suggest the motto from an old rugby team of mine: Nihil in Moderato.
TheHatOnMyCat
You said the same thing I did: Jesus!
But my yardman, Jesus, was nonplussed.
Congrats DougJ. Just remember the little people you crushed under your heel on the way up.
robertdsc
Fixed. Welcome aboard.
Cain
@robertdsc:
He’s fat enough that a capital H is warranted! :)
cain
TheHatOnMyCat
Nah, she’s busy right now, "lighting up Palestine."
I knew her approach would prevail sooner or later.
slag
I certainly hope John ran this new poster pick by Diane Feinstein first.
Church Lady
"I’d like to thank the Lord Jesus Christ. Without him, none of this is possible."
I watched the game. Were you that short guy that scored the winning touchdown?
passerby
Why thank you sir may I have another.
(Good on you DougJ)
Mr Furious
Don’t get too excited…it’ll only be a few weeks before DougJ has to recuse himself because of a grand jury investigation.
SGEW
I smell trouble.
southpaw
I was not informed about the selection of DougJ to be a Balloon Juice front pager. I know nothing about this, other than what I’ve read. My position has consistently been that I believe the Juice is best served by having a face-slapping professional in charge at this time.
jc
DougJ? DougJ??
Damn, DougJ, I haven’t seen you since our time hanging out with all the haji’s – you still pissing on every stray cat you meet?
jc
Also, of course you know, this now means that the snark dial is turned up to 11 on this blog.
Ninerdave
@jc:
What’s snark?
Pooh
So does this mean that we are all front pagers now?
BlizzardOfOz
A Jesus joke… well played sir. Fish in a barrel.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
Er…I don’t think that’s really "trouble", better check the bottoms of your shoes.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
"Moderation"? We don’t need no stinkin’ moderation. All I was talking about was "shoes", with an allusion to stuff that sometimes gets stuck to the bottom of them.
But "whatever"…
OH…yeah, uh…Congratulations, DougJ. I’m totally sure you won’t disappoint us. I was pulling for you all the way, bro’…at least I think that it was "for you" that I was pulling, but now that I think about it, it actually it coulda been something quite different. I do remember, however, that I was pulling on something.
Conservatively Liberal
Well I’d like to fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
Man, this is a bummer. Having the Professor of Spoof headlining is going to make it difficult for him to reel the
suckersentertainment in. Maybe pull off a spoof headliner periodically to see how many enraged lefties and engorged righties you can suck in?You owe us d00d. Perform! ;)
Congrats! :)
DougJ
Funny. I was watching that guy talk as I wrote this post. Were you as impressed as I was by the Zep medley the band played at halftime?
demkat620
An inspired choice, John.
I for one, welcome our new snarky overlord.
AnderJ
All your bases are belong to DougJ.
He’s like family to me.
AnderJ
jon
DougJ,
You suck! You’re a fascist, communist, terrorist-sympathizing, idiot, moron, Cro-Magnum P.I. wannabe, know-it-all, asshole, baby-killer, Peak Oil believing, American consumerist Earth killing, non-Ron Paul believer who really needs to embrace the wisdom of neti pots!
Just wanted to get that out of the way. Oh yeah, "Welcome!"
kommrade reproductive vigor
What does PUMA have to say about this?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
YES! Victory! It’s taken us almost 4 years and countless hours of sacrifice, but we’ve finally managed to take over the asylum.
Spoofers everywhere, rejoice!
Krista
Yay for DougJ! Congrats buddy…and like Herb says, don’t forget the little people on your rise to glory and fame.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Just when I thought John Cole couldn’t get any dumber, he goes and does something like this… and totally redeems himself!
sparky
ow! i mean alsome! also.
i can haz bus, pleeze?
D-Chance.
Oh, great… another pee-on.
Did you learn nothing from the Michael D fiasco, Cole? Just because a poster comes up with a good gay joke doesn’t make him qualified to be a co-blogger? Or did this Doug do a Riverdance for you to "earn" the gig?
Shinobi
Now that you have sold out, we all look forward to the inevitable decline in the quality of your work.
demimondian
@Shinobi: He’s got a long way to fall before he descends to the level of us mere mortals.
canuckistani
It’s more than a Slap In The Face, it’s a Kick In The Junk to all the Darrells of the Right.
ricky
Doug J, as a Texas ex and one time Souzaphone player, I cannot tell you how much I appreciated hearing Stairway to Heaven played by the Longhorn Band. I first listened to that tune in a high rise across from the campus my freshman year aided by substances which allowed me to see the Tower melt and puddle into Guadalupe St. Back then all the Longhorn Band played was March Grandioso, but the team ran the Wishbone and had a running game.
Evinfuilt
Awesome selection.
Xanthippas
I don’t know why, but the pseudonym "DougJ" always makes me think of this.
Church Lady
@DougJ:
Just as I turned to my husband and said "Cool, the Texas band is playing Stairway to Heaven," our local Fox affiliate cut to commercial. Bastards.
lovethebomb
@ricky:
Hey another UT alum. I too saw many things dissolve on Guadalupe St back in the 80’s due to little squares of paper the street people sold for 5$. Never saw the Tower melt, but did see a lot of things in Capn Quackenbush. Lived on 26th about the time Linklater was doing Slacker. But I am way OT. The police ran all the street people out of town about the year I left in 89. Effin fascists.
Shinobi
Way to suck up to "the man."
YellowJournalism
Holy shit.
demimondian
@Shinobi: Dude, when you look in the dictionary, it’s my face next to "sell out".
Surabaya Stew
Hey DougJ, I’m looking forward to your postings; now go and make us Balloons proud!
Cyrus
@D-Chance.:
Is this snark, or are you new here?
Also, I realize that telling us this would defeat the purpose, but I have to wonder if DougJ will always, sometimes or never post in character.
bootlegger
@lovethebomb: We took occasional road trips down from Tech to search for the small squares or a wonderful little dissolving confection under the apt name "windowpane" or these wee bits of "purple microdot". Never saw anything dissolve, though I did have the Capital Dome drop on my head and we gave the Christian Scientists a good scare.
passerby
@southpaw:
Nice play southpaw.
Just Some Fuckhead
Congrats DougJ. Don’t forget to capitalize the important words in your post titles. In this one, this, slap and face should probably have been capitalized.
sidereal
I’ve never been faceslapped in such detail or with such care
MNPundit
Hi, who the fuck are you?
Also, for the first few weeks it was convenient to call Michael D a self-loathing gay. Do you have some sort of derogatory moniker I can employ until you prove yourself to me?
bootlegger
@MNPundit: Something involving whoopie cushions and zoo animals perhaps?
Just Some Fuckhead
Congrats DougJ on your beneficial relationship with Christ. Don’t forget to capitalize the important words in your post titles. Also.
binzinerator
So, JugDay, this means you no longer have a real job now, amirite?
whatsleft
Heh – is it DougJ or someone pretending to be DougJ?