Unfortunately, there will be no new war to carry us into the ’08 elections:
Fifteen British sailors and marines seized by Iranian naval personnel have been pardoned and will be freed, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at a press conference Wednesday, but he vowed his country would not tolerate invasions of its borders by any country.
“I announce that the great people of Iran and the Islamic Republic, even having legal rights to try these military people, in honor of the prophet’s birthday, will be freed as a gift to the people of the United Kingdom,” Ahmadinejad said in a speech to reporters, clerics and civil servants at a small hall in Tehran.
Considering we have no Army to send and the Brits have no desire to get enmeshed in a land war in Iran, this is probably a very good thing. Please note, however, that the source is Fox News. Buyer beware and all that.
David
I could live with Ahmadinejad phrasing it as “they didn’t do anything serious enough to risk a war over” instead of “look how nice we are!”, but hopefully this defuses things nonetheless.
Krista
You know something’s seriously messed up when Iran is winning the P.R. war….
John S.
Yup.
Just as I feared, Iran has been allowed to successfully pass themselves off as being more humane in their treatment of prisoners than the United States.
Congratulations Bush administration. You must be very proud.
Pb
Why, does this administration suddenly need a real pretext to go to war this time?
Punchy
Hi, I’m Rudolph Guliani, and I think the President can fund any war, any time, Congress be dammed. So let’s get it on with Iran, bitches!
Somebody…quick…show me that Declaration of War signed by Congress. I haven’t seen it yet…
jcricket
This proves the surge and war-mongering rhetoric work, right?
No?
I’m so confused.
coomaraswamee
Ouch, Ahmadinejad 1, Bush 0…if we can even give Bush the zero.
Releasing the British prisoners has really framed an already a horrible situation.
Cheney etc…..may be….war………criminals?
jenniebee
John, John, John, you still don’t get it, do you? For the Bushies, the Iranians inherent insoluable eeeevil is a casus belli in and of itself. Every day that administration exists is a day they stifle democracy and impede freedom, and by doing that, they are breeding terror, ergo their existence, no matter what they actually do, is a positive threat to our way of life. Also, if they tried to avoid war by just stopping their own breathing or something, that would be a hostile act because by denying us a war they’re denying us a win, so they’re winning which we can’t stand for. Or some other tub of horseshit like that.
David
Punchy:
Please tell me you made that up. Even in these fucking insane times, we can’t have a real live lawyer claiming that the President has the power to create appropriations out of whole cloth. Right?
Jake
OMG, Ahmalamadingdong is escalating The War Against Christmas!
Heh. Anyways, I’m sure the Deciderator will be along in a second to tell us that it was his statements that caused the eyeranians to back down.
The Other Steve
It’s more like we keep handing the ball to the quarterback(Bush) and he keeps running the wrong way with it.
The Other Steve
Speaking of which. I think for the sake of the nation the Democrats should come out in favor of war with Iran, torture, bombing Syria and starting a nuclear war with Russia.
Why?
Because Bush will automatically oppose any idea the Democrats come up with.
Cyrus
If Punchy made that up, then I’m afraid Rich Lowry is in on it.
The Other Steve
BTW, I was listening to the news last night, and it’s kind of funny. The Christian wingnuts have started a shitstorm up here. The Somalia/Muslim immigrants are demanding prayer breaks at work, and they’re using Falwell/Robertson rhetoric to support their position.
Oh, and to top that off. After the Pharmacists started saying they couldn’t dispense birth control because of their religion. Now the muslims are saying they can’t scan pork at the checkout line, and carry drunk passengers in taxis.
Krista
It gets even better (emphasis mine):
Perry Como
I’m sure Paul L. will want to launch a few missives at Laura Bush now.
ThymeZone
Negotiations with turrists don’t work. It’s some kind of trick. It’s a diversion away from the evil turrist activity going on behind the cameras.
Only the Decider can decide when to conduct talks with these turrists who want to kill us.
Zombie Santa Claus
Those pharmacists should be fired, and so should they.
Zombie Santa Claus
That’s why he got the Man-Date, you know. It wasn’t just about getting his rocks off, he’s not Clinton.
Pb
No, see, Nancy Pelosi was surely collaborating with terrorists, whereas Laura Bush was merely dressing up like Jackie O–totally different!
ThymeZone
Can we carry pork in their taxis?
Zombie Santa Claus
And would they rather the drunk drivers took their own cars, thereby smashing into their taxis?
Zombie Santa Claus
Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s a little side business I have going on. The Lord and I have an understanding when it comes to major world religions. Let’s leave it at that.
Tsulagi
Don’t be so quick with that judgment. Cheney’s still working his PowerPoint.
Paul L.
Too funny
The Rightwing and this Blog post this story when it appears on Fox News.
Crooks and Liars does not post it until it appears on the UK Guardian website.
BREAKING: Iran To Release British Sailors & Marines
Of course, Fox News got the dropping the charges against the Duke Lacrosse Players wrong.
Andrew
Paul, seriously, what are you going on about now?
Krista
It all comes back to snowflake babies, Andrew.
John S.
The better question is who gives a shit what Paul is ranting about.
Randolph Fritz
Y’know, it might just be a good idea if religion was kept out of policy and vice-versa. :-) Nah, too radical.
David
Oh, my God, we elected Aaron Brooks!
PeterJ
She’s wearing all black. That probably means that the secret FBI intelligence units aren’t far behind… They will deal with it.
mrmobi
From NRO:
I also think they should all be shot. They are probably all Muslim converts by now, being sent back with explosives belts. Kill them all, it’s the only way to be sure. That’s just common sense, right Lambchop?
Derbyshire is also correct when he says, “these Iranian fanatics are without any scruples.” I mean, what exquisite and subtle terrorism to capture soldiers while defending your border and then… treat them gently. Truly amoral. It’s really too bad we have to execute them all.
Notice that Derbyshire says, “I nurse a quiet hope…” Ummm, isn’t he kind of old to still be nursing? Clearly, he is someone who knows quite a lot about inflicting torture, writing as he does.
This is the face of Modern American Neo-Conservatism. You have to be able to survive unspeakable behavior without cracking, or you’re just a traitor, worthy of “two-in-the-brainpan.” It’s very Christian, don’t you think?
Paul L. and Lambchop, we need volunteers to do this difficult duty, you guys on board with these executions?
Chad N. Freude
I just read the NRO piece posted by mrmobi, and I think my jaw broke when it dropped to the floor. Actually, I think it was written by Lewis Carroll.
Bubblegum Tate
POTD!
Tax Analyst
WOW! Derbyshire’s bravery is astounding…he would hold on right up to SOMEBODY ELSE’S last tortured, tormented, pain-racked gasp. Whatta MaNN…it’s good to know we have such stalwart men willing to raise their pen in favor of other people sacrificing their lives for a True Principle. Just picture old John standing up to a firing-squad…erect, proud, unbowed…maybe with a cigarette dangling defiantly from his lips…of course, the firing-squad would be aiming in another direction…at somebody else.
ConservativelyLiberal
Wow, the Iranians release the captives. No waterboarding, no torturing, no abuse that anyone is aware of. I am not saying that they were wrong or right in what they did, but they sure made us look bad.
I recently heard that the terrorist watch list (Cheney’s Shit List) has over 400,000 people on it. Got that people, 400,000 ‘terrorists’. In my work, I deal with data a lot. Good data can be made into bad data by adding irrelevant data to it. I find it hard to believe that every single one of those 400,000 are terrorists who are out to blow up the USA.
But a list with that many people on it would sure scare those who trust this idiot-in-chief. That is what it is intended to do, IMO. Why else would the White House put out data like this? What does it accomplish? More terrorizing is the goal, and it is of our own people IMO.
Chad N. Freude
But Wait!! There’s More!!
The money quote:
The whole disgusting piece:
The Awfulness Quotient just keeps going up.
Tax Analyst
Chad N.F.(but haven’t we all “(C)had enough” by now?), I don’t really think Derbyshire would wet his pants…naw, he’d shit ’em, for sure. He sure is bummed out those folks held captive weren’t brutally slaughtered. I guess it was pretty inconsiderate of them not to want to die for a bunch of bullshit PR. You know what I’d like? I’d like that chicken-shit asshole Derbyshire to actually FACE those folks and TELL them they are cowards who have disgraced the crown or whatever the fuck is supposed to be so all-goddamned more important than their lives. Now ask me what I really think.
Chad N. Freude
Never happen.
I’m so appalled by this I can’t think of anything to say.
Tax Analyst
Chad – You know, for once I don’t either. I’ll tell you what – that’s a rare occurrence. Anyway, going home for the day.
jake
Who knew the Neo-Con Keyboard Mercenary Squad would be the ones to make the Marquis de Sade seem [French] vanilla.
I am 100% against torture but unbalanced shits like Derbyshire give me some inkling as to why a man might think it perfectly correct to attach the jumper cables to a bastard’s goolies. But mainly he just makes me want to scrub down with bleach and Brillo pads. Hatty is way too excited about the prospect of soldiers being tortured and you can almost hear him weeping with frustration because the mean old Iranians deprived him of a bunch of broken bodies to drool over.
Seek help you sick fuck.
lard lad
Derbyshire’s piece might just be the most disgusting piece of right-wing upchuck I’ve ever encountered in years of blog trawling. This man deserves a knee shot to the groin.
If the Brits had thrown down on the Iranians and gotten themselves smoked, every one… John Derbyshire would have been doing a Snoopy dance in front of his computer, clapping his hands in sweet anticipation of World War III.
Instead, tonight he weeps bitter tears, once again cheated of his personal Armageddon.
Wherever you are tonight, dear friends… take a moment to light up a greasy fart for this sad, sad little man.
Chad N. Freude
Fixed.