Ted Nugent is talking again, and he’s saying things – crazy things.
He’s saying wistful things about the Civil War and how it might have been better if the South had won.
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 68 Comments
This post is in: Crazification Factor, Kiss My Black Ass, Fucked-up-edness, Peak Wingnut Was a Lie!, Romney of the Uncanny Valley, Serenity Now!, Seriously
Ted Nugent is talking again, and he’s saying things – crazy things.
He’s saying wistful things about the Civil War and how it might have been better if the South had won.
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 70 Comments
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass, I wish a motherfucker would!
Erik Loomis of LGM posted this on Twitter, and it just made my day. It’s a “Fuck you, pay me!” letter from Civil War soldier and former slave, Jourdon Anderson, to his former master. It’s beautiful:
Dayton, Ohio, August 7th, 1865. Printed in the New York Tribune, August 22nd, 1865. To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. (“Henry”) Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee
Sir:I got your letter and was glad to find you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.
I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here; I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy (the folks here call her Mrs. Anderson), and the children, Milly, Jane and Grundy, go to school and are learning well; the teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday- School, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated; sometimes we overhear others saying, “The colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks, but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Col. Anderson. Many darkies would have been proud, as I used to was, to call you master. Now, if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.
As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free-papers in 1864 from the Provost- Marshal- General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you are sincerely disposed to treat us justly and kindly–and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years and Mandy twenty years. At $25 a month for me, and $2 a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to $11,680. Add to this the interest for the time our wages has been kept back and deduct what you paid for our clothing and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, esq, Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night, but in Tennessee there was never any pay day for the Negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.
In answering this letter please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve and die if it comes to that than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood, the great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.
P.S. — Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.
From your old servant,
Jourdon Anderson
I think I will read this every Memorial Day. I love it that much.
[via]
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass, Open Threads, Proud to Be A Democrat, Readership Capture
For those who didn’t have a chance to watch over the weekend, via Paul Constant at the Stranger. I particularly like the ‘Man Show’ joke at the six-minute mark…
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What’s on the agenda for the start of another week?
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 109 Comments
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass
***JC scolded me for not cross-posting here (“You don’t write! You don’t call!”), so if you have complaints about being directed to The Raw Story, you should probably email him. Although I have it on good authority that his response will be “I don’t give a fuck.” Cheers! -ABLxx]
We’re one step closer to the Ni-CLANG! Event Horizon, people:
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) blasted President Obama following his proposed “crackdown” on firms found to be manipulating the oil market, saying he is “waving a tar baby in the air” as a distraction from high gas prices.
“This is just about waving a tar baby in the air and saying that something else is a problem,” Bachmann said in an interview Wednesday with The Shark Tank, a conservative news organization that covers Florida politics. “I have never seen a more irresponsible president who is infantile in the way that he continually blames everyone else for his failure to first diagnose the problem and second to address the problem. It’s always everyone else’s fault.”
She said her message for the president is, “Get over it,” and stop blaming everyone else.
The term “tar baby” is a racially loaded phrase coined in the “Brer Rabbit” tales. The term generally means a “sticky situation,” but has also been used as a derogatory term for a black person.
Oh yes she did! And she’s not the first!
Last year, when Rep. Doug Lamborn (R-CO) said that associating with President Obama was “like touching a tar baby,” I wrote this:
Doug Lamborn (R-CO) is opposed to Obama and everything he does. Lamborn wants to stay as far away from Obama as possible. Lamborn doesn’t even want to touch Obama because Obama is like a tar baby, and if Lamborn touches Obama, Lamborn will get stuck or get cooties or some horrifying combination of the two.
~snip~
Is Lamborn “a racist.”
Who cares.
Should he jump up his own ass and reside there?
Yes.
Same goes for Michele Bachmann. I’m long past the point of listening to the excuses of those who believe that being called “capital R” Racist is the Worst Thing Evah, and who refuse to take responsibility for the racist shit that they say. Just STOP SAYING AND DOING RACIST SHIT.
Also? I’m going to need Michele Bachmann to stop saying and doing stupid shit. Seriously. What does “waving a tar baby in the air” even mean? As Ta Nehisi-Coates pointed out in 2006, “tar baby” refers to a trap:
[read the rest at TRS-ABLC]Michele Bachmann, Tar Babies, and the Ni-CLANG! Event HorizonPost + Comments (109)
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 96 Comments
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass, Post-racial America, Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to Stop Sniffing Glue
Yesterday, I wrote about Daily Caller contributor Mark Judge and the beloved L.L. Bean bike which was so cruelly wrenched from his idyllic life by Some Black Dude. Horrified that one of my people would mercilessly steal a white dude’s bike, I decided to make some inquiries, and it is my great pleasure to announce that I have solved the case.
I can say with absolute certainty that a black dude did not steal Mark Judge’s bike. Why? Because there has been a boycott of L.L. Bean by black folks for eighty years, and us black folks always stick together. (Just ask Breitbrat Leftenant Dan Riehl):
African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year
I grew up near Chestnut Hill, Pennsylvania. I went to junior high school smack dab in the middle of Chestnut Hill. Chestnut Hill, I’ll have you know, is listed in The Preppy Handbook as one of the preppiest places in America. (I own a copy of The Preppy Handbook, so I know this for a fact.) I spent a lot of time in Chestnut Hill, eating cheese fries at Fiesta Pizza and shopping at The Gap with my white friends, all of whom owned L.L. Bean clothing and regularly perused the L.L. Bean catalog. Never during my time on the mean cobbled streets of Chestnut Hill did I buy a single item from an L.L. Bean catalog. Why? Because of the damn boycott!!
So there you have it. My evidence that a black dude did not steal Mark Judge’s bike is as substantial — if not more so — than Mark’s evidence that a black dude did. He didn’t see a black dude steal his L.L. bike. I’ve never seen a black dude show any interest in anything L.L. Bean.
I win.
Ok, so maybe I didn’t actually solve the case, per se, but I did exculpate All Black Dudes from the crime, and really, that’s what I care about. I don’t give a shit about Mark’s L.L. Bean bike.
(h/t @gnudd for the video)
RELATED POST: White Dude at The Daily Caller Sheds White Guilt Because Black Dude Probably Stole His Bike
[cross-posted at The Raw Story-ABLC]I Have Solved the Curious Case of Mark Judge’s Missing BikePost + Comments (96)
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 129 Comments
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass
***My latest for The Raw Story presents ABLC. Warning: You will have to click over to finish the post. Them’s the breaks. -ABLxx
National Review Online’s John Derbyshire has penned the sort of racist drivel that makes me want to dump a bottle of single-malt over my head. Essentially, he takes “The Talk” which black parents have with their kids to keep them from ending up like Trayvon Martin, and retools it for white folks.
Needless to say, it’s aggressively stupid and unimaginably racist.
Let’s just say, if you took some racism, added more racism, and then wrapped it in racism, the end product still would not be as racist as Derbyshire’s really really ridiculously racist “common sense” tips for his kids.
Here they are (with added tipsfrom yours truly):
(10a) Avoid concentrations of blacks not all known to you personally. [A strange Negro is a dangerous Negro. -ed.]
(10b) Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods. [If you see spinning rims, hear loud thumping bass, and see cars bouncing up and down as if on a pogo stick, get the fuck out of there. You’re about to get capped. -ed.]
(10c) If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with blacks on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot). [Be sure to call up Six Flags and ask for scientifically-sound data regarding the ratio of Negroes to non-Negroes. Also, ask about the ‘conceal and carry’ policies. You may want to bring your handgun, in case shit gets real and you’re forced to stand your ground. As for the beach, black people don’t swim, so instead of being in the water, they’re usually on the beach rifling through your shit, so keep yo shit under lock and key. -ed.]
(10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of blacks. [Stay away from basketball courts, watermelon patches, and Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles -ed.]
(10e) If you are at some public event at which the number of blacks suddenly swells, leave as quickly as possible. [If you see a wave of blacks coming at you, you better run or lock and load! -ed.]
(10f) Do not settle in a district or municipality run by black politicians. [Isn’t this just 10(b) repeated? Also, does this mean that all you racist-ass white people are going to finally leave the country when Obama wins his second term? I hear hell is unseasonably warm. -ed.]
(10g) Before voting for a black politician, scrutinize his/her character much more carefully than you would a white. [Make sure you ask for his long-form birth certificate and determine whether or not he maintains anti-colonialist views. Most black politicians are con artists. -ed.]
(10h) Do not act the Good Samaritan to blacks in apparent distress, e.g., on the highway. [If you see a Negro with a flat tire, keep it movin’. We’re probably going to carjack you. -ed.]
(10i) If accosted by a strange black in the street, smile and say something polite but keep moving. [ You’re just asking for trouble. Do not stop for strange Negroes. They’re usually up to no good. What the fuck are you doing in a black neighborhood anyway? We talked about this already. (See 10(b).) -ed.]
(11) The mean intelligence of blacks is much lower than for whites. The least intelligent ten percent of whites have IQs below 81; forty percent of blacks have IQs that low. Only one black in six is more intelligent than the average white; five whites out of six are more intelligent than the average black. These differences show in every test of general cognitive ability that anyone, of any race or nationality, has yet been able to devise. They are reflected in countless everyday situations. “Life is an IQ test.” [Ni-CLANG!s are stupid. It says so in The Bell Curve. -ed.]
[Click to read the rest at The Raw Story]
NRO’s John Derbyshire Warns His Kids to Stay Away From ‘Blacks’Post + Comments (129)
by Imani Gandy (ABL)| 156 Comments
This post is in: Kiss My Black Ass, Assholes, Clown Shoes
I’m not a fan of Nancy Grace, but this is worth watching for further insight into the depths of the cover-up that is going on down in Florida:
Clearly, the video released by ABC News yesterday destroys Zimmerman’s claim that Trayvon attacked him.
Additionally, the funeral director has stated that there was no signs on Trayvon’s body that would indicate that he had been in a fight. So we have a video of Zimmerman where he’s unbloodied, unbruised, not wincing in pain, and wearing clean clothes, and we have Trayvon Martin with no cuts or bruises on his hands; but somehow we’re supposed to believe that Trayvon punched Zimmerman in the nose hard enough to break it, then slammed Zimmerman’s head into the ground, and began beating him?
No. That did not happen. It makes no damn sense.
Aggressively stupid people like Dan Riehl are claiming that the grainy video shows a wound to his head:
Following up on a Daily Caller report, I did my own enhancement. [I’ll bet you did, Dan. -ed.] I altered sharpness and contrast and enlarged a screen grab from the video, pictured below.
~snip~
One has to wonder if ABC did any video analysis on the footage at all. How is it not, at the very least, open for speculation as to what the video shows as regards Zimmerman’s injuries.
The claim all along has been that Martin was bashing Zimmerman’s head into the ground, or sidewalk. This image appears to support that version of events, certainly enough for speculation, making the claim ABC put forward extremely dubious, if not flat-out wrong.
What is this arrow even pointing to? Is this supposed to be a wound consistent with Travyon “bashing Zimmerman’s head into the ground”? Is this video suppose to prove that Zimmerman was “likely” cleaned up at the scene?
Aggressively stupid person Dan Riehl also claims that the mugshot being circulated demonstrates that Zimmerman was “likely” cleaned up at the scene. Small problem, though — the mugshot is from 2005!
There is quite literally no limit to Dan Riehl’s stupidity.
The bottom line is that the video annihilates Zimmerman’s claims that Trayvon beat the shit out of him. There’s no blood, no swelling, no wincing in pain — NADA.
Quite simply, what the Sanford Police Department is saying happened did not happen.
What the Sanford Police Department told Tracy Martin, Trayvon’s father, also did not happen:
According to Tracy Martin, the Sanford, Fla., detective recounted this sequence of events: Trayvon Martin walked up to Zimmerman’s vehicle and asked why he was following him. Zimmerman denied following the youth and rolled up the car window.
Minutes after Trayvon walked away, Zimmerman got out of his vehicle. Then came the second encounter, according to Tracy Martin’s recollection of the detective’s account. Trayvon Martin appeared from behind a building in Zimmerman’s gated community, approached him and demanded, “What’s your problem, homie?”
When Zimmerman replied that he didn’t have a problem, Martin said, “You do now.” The unarmed teenager hit Zimmerman, knocked him to the ground, pinned him down and told him to “shut the [expletive] up.”
During the beating, Zimmerman pulled his gun and fired one shot at close range into Martin’s chest. “You got me,” the teenager said, falling backward.
“What’s your problem, homie?” – seriously? Are you sure he didn’t say, “YOU GON’ DIE, CRACKA!!”
“You got me.” Really? Are you sure he didn’t say, “Game over, man! Game over!”
It’s ridiculous.***
Somebody better arrest Zimmerman’s ass. Today.
***If you, like I, need to laugh to keep from stabbing, may I suggest #shitzimmermansays?
George thought he had a problem when Trayvon said “I came to chew skittles and whip honkies. And I’m all outta skittles.” #shitzimmermansays
— Ta-Nehisi Coates (@tanehisi) March 29, 2012
[cross-posted at ABLC]Zimmerman claims he knew he was in trouble when Trayvon referred to him as “Jive Turkey” #shitzimmermansays
— Ta-Nehisi Coates (@tanehisi) March 29, 2012
#TrayvonMartin: The Zimmerman Apologist Train is Careening Wildly Off-TrackPost + Comments (156)