Today was a pretty good day.
When I got up this morning I was jittery as all hell. Just nervous energy and dread, and I did not want to get up. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is not going to stop because of how I feel, so I just saddled up and just started doing shit because I don’t really have any other choice. I had to drive to Morgantown for a doctor’s appointment I had scheduled prior to hitting Arizona. So I got up, got showered, and off I went.
The calm of the drive was nice, and there were very few people on the road, so I had a nice leisurely drive. Doctor’s appointment went fine, ran some other errands, stopped by the office to pick up some books and other stuff, and then hit the road back. On the way back, I thought- “Wow, I almost feel ok?” And I did.
And still do. I am still ragged around the edges and going through life with training wheels and a helmet, but today was better. Had to hit Best Buy to return the memory sticks I did not end up using, Petco for some food for Steve, and Menard’s to replace some light bulbs. Stopped by the parents house since I had not seen them since they got home, and am now back home. Made a playdate with their dog to go for a walk tomorrow, and I will make sure to take pictures.
At any rate, I am pooped. Like I said, I still feel totally insecure and just raw, but even though I can still hear the tiger roaring, I feel like the beast is caged and the bars are holding. Like I know a backslide is right there if I am an idiot, but right now I am going the right way.
And my blood pressure is finally back to fucking normal. And I am to the point that when I read things, I comprehend them, rather than the way it was the last week, when I would read something, stare at it, and look at the words and none of them made any sense. It was like the meaning of whatever I read just bounced off my noggin and I was impervious retaining any information. I opened my email the other day and someone I have corresponded with for work over a dozen times had emailed me, and I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHO THEY WERE. I had to do a search and re-read all my previous emails back and forth just to remember who they were.
Fucking brain chemistry.
Also, I see that Joe Lieberman has died, and I would like to remind you all that if you can’t say anything nice about him, feel free to say it in the comments.