Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

I really should read my own blog.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

This fight is for everything.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

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Well Now Here’s Your Problem

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The inexplicably still employed Jennifer Rubin, on the utter failure of GOP SuperPACs:

Excuse me, the guy who backed Akin and who masterminded the anti-Bain smear film on behalf of Newt Gingrich is lecturing the rest of the conservative movement on being a constructive fundraising force? Puleez. Was there any more destructive force for conservatives in the 2012 general race than Akin or in the primary race by the anti-capitalist feeding frenzy Tyler championed? At least Rove acted in good faith for the promotion of conservative candidates and ideas. As one conservative insider put it to me, “The question isn’t whether Crossroads made any difference, but rather whether the investment could have been better utilized in smarter fashion.”

I’m going to need Lt. Commander Data here to scan for Irony.  There isn’t any here in this quadrant.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/dWBmaKk32fE?rel=0″ frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

The answer to your question, Jennifer, is you.  Jennifer Rubin.  Personally.  By being an unpaid shill, multiple times a day for the Romney administration while on the payroll of a one of the nation’s largest newspapers.  Your existence is such an astonishingly damaging and rancid conflict of interest that the Post should be breaking land speed records getting your useless ass out the door.  You sold the propaganda that Romney was winning without hesitation.  Clearly, you’re part of the problem.

And as much as I’d like to see you continue to bamboozle stupid conservatives with your own repellent fantasies of punditry, you really ought to be doing so back at Commentary or Newsmax or American Thinker or whatever conservative hellhole you crawled out of rather than the Washington Post.

Get thee hence.

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The Real Loser Today Is Irony

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I laughed long and hard at this epitaph of the Village:

By tomorrow night we’ll likely know the name of the next president. But we already know the loser in this election cycle: political reporters. They’ve disgraced themselves. Conservatives have long complained about liberal bias in the media, and with some justification. But it has finally reached the tipping point. Not in our lifetimes have so many in the press dropped the pretense of objectivity in order to help a political candidate. The media are rooting for Barack Obama. They’re not hiding it.

This of course coming from Tucker Carlson, he of the game changing breaking news of an Obama video from five years ago, who of course has no political bias.  Irony is dead and currently being converted posthumously to Mormonism.

By the next presidential cycle most of these people will be gone. They’ll have moved on to academia or think tanks or Democratic senate campaigns, or wherever aging hacks go when their union contracts finally, inevitably get voided. They’ll be replaced by a vibrant digital marketplace filled with hungry young reporters who care more about breaking stories than maintaining access to some politician or regulator.

All of this was probably inevitable, but it came faster than expected. Through their dishonesty the legacy media hastened their own end. Their moral authority has evaporated. So has their business model. Wave them goodbye on the way out.

Drudgebart clowns predicting that only the Drudgebart clowns will remain by 2016. “Hungry” young assholes penning slag stories in all caps on anyone to the left of Paul Ryan versus the Village Idiots begging for their own demise by repeating the propaganda, and then wondering why their customers have vanished.  I’m not sure who’s being Darwined out faster.  I’m rooting for both of them.

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The Finest Self-Service Around

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If you’re like me, you’re looking forward to this election being over. If you’re pundit and former Bush 43 speechwriter/press hack Ari Fleischer, you want this thing to last forever, hence this tweet earlier today:

Seven states in recount? Chaos for weeks, if not months…and of course plenty of TV appearances for pundits like Fleischer (despite the irreparable harm it would do to our voting process, not to mention the American psyche.) Then again, that’s the point, isn’t it? Only our pundit class would be able to navigate America through these rocky shoals, and they could shape the nation for years to come as a result.

So yeah, Ari Fleischer wants recount chaos. It directly benefits him, not to mention 5 of those 7 states have GOP governors. Me, that sounds like a nightmare scenario followed by the Supremes handing the election to the Republicans again.

Self-service in every sense of the word.

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And The Rejoicing Has Begun

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For with a week to go, The Most Wrong Man In America is predicting a Romney landslide.  And he actually used the term “landslide”.

Voters have figured out that President Obama has no message, no agenda and not even much of an explanation for what he has done over the past four years. His campaign is based entirely on persuading people that Mitt Romney is a uniquely bad man, entirely dedicated to the rich, ignorant of the problems of the average person. As long as he could run his negative ads, the campaign at least kept voters away from the Romney bandwagon. But once we all met Mitt Romney for three 90-minute debates, we got to know him — and to like him. He was not the monster Obama depicted, but a reasonable person for whom we could vote.

You have to love his awesome little bubble of unreality.

Or will the Romney momentum grow and wash into formerly safe Democratic territory in New Jersey and Oregon?

Nice choice of phrase, Dick.  And sure, Romney will get 350 EVs because ARGLE AND THE BLARGLE.  Even better, he’s calling for the GOP to pick up six Senate seats in the wake of Romney’s long, long coattails.

I mean, why wouldn’t we give Morris the benefit of the doubt over Nate Silver or this empty can of Diet Coke with Lime?  Morris has a long, long track record of being completely full of garbage.  But it’s a long track record, so Nate Silver is a wimp because SHUT UP LIBTARDS.

So yes, now that Toesucker here has called it for Romney, President Obama is spiking that there football.

 

 

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I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

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And the dumbest person on the internet tonight is Rick Sanchez, stupid enough to be fired from CNN, but just stupid enough to be hired as a Fox News contributor:

Yes, I seriously hope these 80 families don’t become dependent on FEMA, after all, they have their neighbors:

A huge fire destroyed 80 to 100 houses in a flooded beachfront neighborhood Tuesday, forcing firefighters to undertake daring rescues and injuring three people.

More than 190 firefighters contained the blaze but were still putting out some pockets of fire more than nine hours after it erupted.

As daylight broke, neighbors walked around aimlessly through their smoke-filled Breezy Point neighborhood, which sits on the Rockaway peninsula jutting into the Atlantic Ocean. Electrical wires dangled within feet of the street.

That’s right, Ricky. Right now, our chief concern is a culture of dependency on FEMA. Because, as you know, since once in several lifetime storms happen so frequently (like, once every several lifetimes), this is a major issue. Instead, we should cherish our reliance on our neighbors. Except for when all 80 of their houses burn down, too. But seriously. My neighbors have bulldozers, can fix downed power lines, replace damaged water mains, pump water out of subway tunnels. Who here doesn’t have neighbors like that?

I confronted him, and he is now babbling about how “Angel Flights” after Hurricane Andrew were the salvation.

Neighbors can help out, but they can’t replace FEMA or the massive might of the government. I find it so depressing that an alleged journalist would even try to equivocate the two, while using right wing frames about the culture of dependency (ON FEMA, OF ALL FUCKING THINGS. THE DAY AFTER THIS DISASTER.) that I just want to cry myself to sleep.

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Shorter Piers Morgan: Mitt Romney is a liar but I still love him.

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CNN’s favorite nitwit, Piers Morgan wrote a piece called “PIERS MORGAN: He’s one of the least principled politicians I’ve met. But I believe Mitt Romney might just save America” for The Daily Mail that is so bereft of any kernel of sense or sensibility that he should be forced to freefall from space without a parachute.

In his article, Piers claims that even though Mitt Romney is the least principled politician in all the land, he might save America because he’s a super-awesome businessman, and he doesn’t drink, do drugs, smoke, curse, or fuck around on his wife.

No, seriously. That’s his argument.

[read full post at ABLC]

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