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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

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Jump! You Fuckers!

You are here: Home / Archives for Jump! You Fuckers!

Open Thread: Clueless, All the Way Up the Ladder

by Anne Laurie|  September 5, 20179:17 pm| 266 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Assholes, Jump! You Fuckers!

Unreal: gown-clad Louise Linton uses "Balls & Galas"(!) issue of @WashingtonLife to apologize for her offensive Kentucky trip with Mnuchin. pic.twitter.com/inIYaNEPQQ

— Matt McDermott (@mattmfm) September 5, 2017

How much of a total dumbass do you have to be photoed in ball gowns while discussing fact that people compare you to Marie Antoinette?

— Clara Jeffery (@ClaraJeffery) September 5, 2017


.

“Taking responsibility is for the little people, daahling!”

I look forward to working w/ D's + R's in Congress to address immigration reform in a way that puts hardworking citizens of our country 1st.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 5, 2017

I look forward to you not being a coward and taking ownership of your God-awful policy decisions. https://t.co/vVX0Ku3Ynz

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) September 5, 2017

Trump's own aides don't think he grasps the ramifications of his DACA decision. I don't think he grasps the ramifications of ANY decision.

— Greg Pinelo (@gregpinelo) September 5, 2017

Open Thread: Clueless, All the Way Up the LadderPost + Comments (266)

Thursday Morning Open Thread: Rooting for Injuries (But Not Describing Them)

by Anne Laurie|  July 27, 20174:41 am| 300 Comments

This post is in: Activist Judges!, Dolt 45, Open Threads, Repubs in Disarray!, Russiagate, Assholes, Jump! You Fuckers!, Schadenfreude

(Tom Toles via GoComics.com)
.

Since I am not by nature a nice person, I’ll admit that stories like this make me quietly gleeful. From the Washington Post, “Senate Republicans have tolerated Trump’s controversies. His treatment of Sessions is different”:

… Cornyn is not alone in rallying to the defense of Sessions, who, despite sometimes having waged lonely battles as one of the chamber’s most staunch conservatives, still has many friends among Senate Republicans. Most have issued statements of support, and several are making private calls to reassure Sessions that they are behind him.

But the tension over Trump’s treatment of Sessions goes beyond the senators defending a friend.

Unlike any other controversial move that Trump has pondered in his six months as president, Senate Republicans are sending preemptive signals that firing the attorney general or pressuring him to resign would be a terrible move.

Some have warned high-level White House officials that it would look as though Trump were making the move solely to shut down an investigation of his campaign and the White House, now overseen by special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, while also making clear that they agree with Sessions’s decision to recuse himself from an investigation of the Trump campaign’s connections to Russia.

Replacing Sessions would be difficult, and the idea of Trump making a recess appointment during the planned four-week break in August is foolhardy. Democrats can indefinitely stall a resolution to fully adjourn the Senate, having already forced minute-long periods during even shorter breaks to prevent Trump from having the authority to make temporary appointments while the Senate is away.

Democrats may have vehemently opposed Sessions’s nomination, but they have no intention of allowing Trump to fire him and name a new attorney general with a recess appointment, and frankly, Republicans do not seem to want to give Trump that power either…

What’s on the agenda, as we start another bound-to-be-beleagured day?

***********
Speaking of public schadenfreude: Having grown up in the sort of family where interactions tended to start with a challenge and escalate explosively, I’ve spent the past forty years learning that not every dark thought needs to be described exhaustively. Not only does such gleeful venting disturb those who come from less toughened environments, but it’s really quite stressful to keep up the paranoia level that’s essential when you know at a bone-deep level that talking the talk is liable to lead to walking a very unpleasant walk.

This is John Cole’s blog, and it will never be mistaken for an Oberlin drum circle. But rest assured, no matter how inventive your torture scenarios for those public officials who most absolutely deserve them, there is no membership requirement that those scenarios be shared in the comments.

Venting is important, especially in this Trump era, but not everybody here has the same tolerance for violence porn. Wish all the bad cess on Republicans and other miscreants that they deserve, but try to keep in mind that it’s not a competition to see which of us can produce the most disturbing rant.

Thursday Morning Open Thread: Rooting for Injuries (But Not Describing Them)Post + Comments (300)

Friday Evening Russiagate News Dump Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  June 2, 20177:32 pm| 194 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Repubs in Disarray!, Russiagate, Clap Louder!, Jump! You Fuckers!

AP: Mueller is taking over a Manafort criminal investigation that predates the Russian counterintel probe https://t.co/51Jjgv8UCm

— Matt Ford (@fordm) June 2, 2017

BREAKING: Special counsel's Trump campaign investigation includes Manafort case, may expand to include Attorney General Sessions.

— The Associated Press (@AP) June 2, 2017


.

So… what’s on tapp at the “Stupid Watergate” White House?…

White House confirms: They are reviewing whether to invoke executive privilege to prevent Comey from testifying before a congress next week.

— Jennifer Jacobs (@JenniferJJacobs) June 2, 2017

And it goes without saying – but this is the action of a guilty man afraid he's going to be exposed.

— Charles Johnson (@Green_Footballs) June 2, 2017

if the Russia scandal were a fake story created by the fake news media, why would they do this? https://t.co/zUKNNiipaZ

— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) June 2, 2017

These are the actions of very guilty who know the noose is tightening https://t.co/gqutAuIdPf

— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) June 2, 2017

Friday Evening Russiagate News Dump Open ThreadPost + Comments (194)

Wednesday Morning Open Thread: Another Battle Begins

by Anne Laurie|  May 24, 20176:42 am| 173 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Grifters Gonna Grift, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?, Jump! You Fuckers!

(Jeff Danziger’s website)
.

BREAKING: President Trump to propose $4.1 trillion budget slashing safety-net programs for poor, boosting military.

— The Associated Press (@AP) May 23, 2017

Eisenhower: "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies…a theft from those who hunger & are not fed…" https://t.co/Ar8phAfpBB

— Dan Zak (@MrDanZak) May 23, 2017

As if Lord Smallgloves could tell you what was in “his” budget… Greg Sargent, in the Washington Post, “Even some Republicans balk at Trump’s plan for steep budget cuts”:

… While some fiscally conservative lawmakers, particularly in the House, found a lot to praise in Trump’s plan to balance the budget within 10 years, most Republicans flatly rejected the White House proposal. The divide sets up a clash between House conservatives and a growing number of Senate Republicans who would rather work with Democrats on a spending deal than entertain Trump’s deep cuts.

“This is kind of the game,” said Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-Tex.). “We know that the president’s budget won’t pass as proposed.”

Instead, Cornyn said he believes conversations are already underway about how Republicans can negotiate with Democrats to avoid across-the-board spending cuts that are scheduled to go into effect in October. Those talks could include broad spending increases for domestic and military programs that break from Trump’s plan for deep cuts in education, housing, research and health care…

Budget experts questioned many of the economic assumptions that the White House put into its plan, saying it was preposterous to claim that massive tax cuts and spending reductions will lead to a surge in economic growth…

“Even some Republicans” plan on a political career that lasts beyond the next election — maybe even one that doesn’t involve people spitting on them in the street. This ain’t a budget proposal, it’s a new chapter in a cultists’ holy book. Or a performance-art script for grifters hoping to massage the plutocrats’ greed glands…

"What’s clear from this budget isn’t just that Trump wasn’t paying attention; it’s that none of his key aides were." https://t.co/v9BC60a91H

— MarketWatch (@MarketWatch) May 23, 2017

"We are no longer going to measure compassion…. by the # of people that we help" – Mulvaney saying it shld be abt getting people off help

— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) May 23, 2017

Well either Trump doesn't care what's in this budget or this is precisely what he wants. Neither is a terribly attractive option. https://t.co/LTSuEkvgCT

— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) May 23, 2017

Wednesday Morning Open Thread: Another Battle BeginsPost + Comments (173)

Horrowshow Open Thread: Why the Banksters Love Lord Smallgloves

by Anne Laurie|  May 2, 201711:24 pm| 81 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Dolt 45, Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Jump! You Fuckers!, Our Awesome Meritocracy

Jesus wept. These people are the fucking worst. Just despicable.https://t.co/ZDBe79KPD5 pic.twitter.com/zyf1rk3pcS

— Michael Arnovitz (@MichaelArnovitz) May 1, 2017

He’s so frugal! — with his own money, at least.

^^ Toldja

TODAY – Trumps Commerce Secretary: Syrian missile attack was 'after-dinner entertainment' at Mar-a-Lago.https://t.co/niJGbk6z7f

— J?ST?R ? ?CTU?L³³º¹ (@th3j35t3r) May 2, 2017

… Even if the strikes were the “entertainment,” they certainly did cost the president something.

The cost of a Tomahawk missile, per the Navy budget for fiscal year 2017, is $1.355 million. Given that the strike used 59 missiles, that comes out to roughly $79.9 million for just the missiles alone.

Ross’s remarks to the conference were just the latest in unusual public remarks from the Commerce secretary on the Syria strike.

Ross was in the secured conference room at Mar-a-Lago where Trump and other administration officials huddled during the strike, though he’s not necessarily charged with national security interests as head of the Commerce Department…

Nah, not the “president”‘s money! He doesn’t even pay taxes, cuz he’s SMART!

You put Ross’ mug up on a storyboard for an evil plutocrat on Saturday Night Live, and the producers would say ‘Too broad’…

Ladies and gentlemen: Wilbur Ross. https://t.co/uYw5J14OPS

— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) May 2, 2017

… Ross, a billionaire financier, is new to government service. In the lunchtime conversation with David Rubenstein, co-CEO of the Carlyle Group, Ross reflected on his first impressions of public service.

“I’ve been heartened,” he said. “I thought the quality of people in the government was not as high as it has turned out to be. There are actually quite a lot of very good, very serious, very intelligent people wanting to do their best. It’s just they’ve been trapped in a fundamentally dysfunctional system.”

The president’s tax cut proposal has been a hot topic among the business community at this year’s conference. Rubenstein asked Ross whether it was realistic to expect a tax plan to pass this year.

“I certainly hope so,” he said. “God knows Congress has debated the issue enough times. It’s really a question of, ‘Is there the willpower to do it?’ If the Republican side can get itself unified, then it will work, even if the Democrats remain as determined as they seem to be to block any kind of progress.”

As if we needed more of an impetus to ‘block any kind of progress’ that would make these fekkers happy.

Horrowshow Open Thread: Why the Banksters Love Lord SmallglovesPost + Comments (81)

Wonk shade

by David Anderson|  February 14, 20173:28 pm| 66 Comments

This post is in: An Unexamined Scandal, IOKIYAR, Open Threads, I Can't Believe We're Losing to These People, Jump! You Fuckers!, Not Normal

Dan Diamond brings together the wonderful health nerd traditional of #HealthPolicyValentines and topical commentary on the firing of the NSA for being compromised by the Russians.

A fact that even Trump advisers can love: Unexpectedly losing your job qualifies you for coverage through the ACA. #HealthPolicyValentines pic.twitter.com/YWJnDZruoE

— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) February 14, 2017

I needed this laugh.

Open Thread

Wonk shadePost + Comments (66)

Open Thread: Trump Prepares to Pay Off His Donors

by Anne Laurie|  February 3, 20174:20 pm| 206 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., domestic terrorists, Open Threads, Republican Venality, Trump Crime Cartel, Jump! You Fuckers!

President Donald Trump will begin dismantling the financial regulations enacted after the 2008 economic crisis https://t.co/Ptvdn2hWFi pic.twitter.com/XKo0LK5rXS

— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) February 3, 2017

The President-Asterisk may have a long history of cheating the people who work for him, but he’s not gonna stiff the people he works for…

This is almost certainly not true. Dodd-Frank doesn't stop banks from lending to strong businesses. https://t.co/pnnW5FdqP0 pic.twitter.com/byBsxxuxeP

— David Enrich (@davidenrich) February 3, 2017

@dandrezner I think you meant it could just be the usual, which is he doesn't have any friends.

— Kieran Healy (@kjhealy) February 3, 2017

Via Joy-Ann Reid, from the Daily Beast, “Trump Just Declared Open Season on Suckers“:

If the 2016 election was a national litmus test to see just how many suckers live in this country, the next round of President Trump’s executive orders are going to make sure those millions of suckers are taken for every last penny…

One of Trump’s two executive orders today calls for a review of Dodd-Frank Law, a rule that was put in place in the thick of the recession of the aughts. It was supposed to be the law that represented the lessons we’d learned from the 2008-2009 financial crash. Lessons, one would hope, that would have lasted more than the average run of a successful sitcom.

At Dodd-Frank’s inception, this country was experiencing the most dire financial crisis since the Great Depression. Overzealous financial institutions had created and traded billions in securities made of underlying assets-—mortgages and credit-related products—that were valued based on wildly quixotic assessments of consumer creditworthiness. It wasn’t until these credit-backed products had become major components of massive portfolios, like pensions and hedge funds, that anybody realized that they were essentially valueless. The markets took a nosedive, Bear Stearns went ass-up, Lehman was shuttered, Merrill was sold. The American taxpayer subsidized all of it…

Trump’s other Executive Order is more insidious, somehow, than “doing a number” (his words) on Dodd-Frank. The President is planning on ordering the Labor Department to roll back the Obama administration’s “fiduciary rule,” which was supposed to take effect this April.

The rule would have required brokers and agents who manage retirement accounts to provide advice to their clients based on what would be best for the clients, rather than what’s suitable. This means that if a broker is considering two suitable investment vehicles for clients, but one makes him a fat commission and the other doesn’t but has slightly better prospects for the consumer, there’s nothing stopping him from pushing the client in the direction of the one that earns the commission. As long as they’re both “suitable.” …

With the number of people reaching retirement age growing by the year, these two moves by Team Trump are troubling signs of what might be to come. Thanks to the fact that many Americans who are now approaching retirement age entered adulthood when it was possible for young people to buy homes, many of them have spent decades passively amassing wealth as the value of their homes swelled. Their retirement accounts have more than recovered from the market troughs of 2008 and 2009. They’ve got more money than they’ve ever had, which means they’re more vulnerable to be fleeced than they’ve ever been….

I tweeted a story that Goldman exec hired by Trump is getting a $100 million exit. My apologies. Is actually $285M. https://t.co/WwCwJ43bEr

— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) January 27, 2017

Trying to imagine the reaction if Hillary Clinton saying something like this. https://t.co/ni1kRFcrlw

— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) February 3, 2017

Open Thread: Trump Prepares to Pay Off His DonorsPost + Comments (206)

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