I’m by no means deeply interested in UK politics, but I am getting quite a bit of enjoyment watching the slow, grinding process by which the Tories are scraping the Boris barnacle from their hull. He sure is a tenacious fucker, I’ll give him that. The latest from the Guardian live feed is that the cabinet ministers are in No 10 waiting for him to arrive, that they’ll resign en masse if he doesn’t quit, and that Boris has arrived. Nobody thinks he’s going to last the rest of the day, but I’m sure not betting against him.
Edited to add: Keir Starmer’s remarks at question time this morning, and Boris’ shambolic responses, are worth a watch. (They’re at the top of this story.)
Betty Cracker
He’s Netanyahu-like, damn it! Maybe today is finally the day…
scav
@Betty Cracker: He was described as Rasputin yesterday.
Old School
If Boris does resign, who takes over?
R-Jud
Imagine having Grant Shapps show up to tell you you’re bad at your job. Imagine.
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
OT. Via reddit.
mistermix
@Old School: Short-term, don’t know. Mid-term, I think the Tories need to elect another leader. I hope it is that insufferable twit Jacob Rees-Mogg. That would be entertaining, at least.
RinaX
So there’s some sort of sex scandal that’s causing his party to finally turn on him? I’m trying to figure out what brought this on.
Spanky
@Baud: Jesus will provide.
germy shoemangler
@mistermix:
when I first saw Rees-Mogg a few years ago, I thought he was someone Monty Python cooked up.
Omnes Omnibus
Not to nitpick, but is there as reason you moved the comma in front of the word “now?”
mistermix
@RinaX: I’m sure those who follow this stuff can explain it better, but as I understand it a guy called Pincher (“Pincher by name, pincher by nature” according to Boris) groped a young man at a Tory club. Boris still appointed him to a position despite knowing about it, and his government lied about it. A lot of his cabinet are shocked, shocked that Boris lied to them about this and are quitting, but the bottom line is that Boris was ready to go. The Keir Starmer video that I linked in the post pretty much sums it up.
R-Jud
@mistermix: The role of the deputy prime minister is nebulous, as it is with a lot of things pertaining to the UK’s unwritten constitution, but I think he would probably step in during a leadership fight to ensure someone is making decisions at the top.
Sadly, the current Deputy PM is Dominic Raab.
Baud
@RinaX:
What brought it on is that Tories were losing elections.
There’s a lesson in there somewhere.
Alison Rose
@RinaX:
I initially read this as “turn him on” and I was like, ew.
germy shoemangler
Country first instead of politics? Sounds like a foreign country.
Chief Oshkosh
““He is only in power because he has been propped up for months by a corrupted party defending the indefensible,” Starmer said. “Anyone with anything about them would be long gone from his frontbench. In the middle of a crisis, doesn’t the country deserve better than a Z-list cast of nodding dogs?””
Could be describing TFG from 2016-2020.
Ramalama
Bravo for the title of this post. And also the news explaining some resignation letter from someone over there in the UK that’s been circulating on twitter.
mistermix
@Omnes Omnibus: Just a typo, fixed.
@R-Jud: Judging by his cabinet, the Tories have no shortage of second rate imbeciles like Naab.
Omnes Omnibus
@germy shoemangler: How not E.M. Forster of Javid.
Betty Cracker
@Baud: Gosh, I wonder why?
Omnes Omnibus
@mistermix: Okay, I was trying to parse the meaning of moving the comma. I was getting nowhere.
R-Jud
@mistermix: Everyone in government right now is a character escaped from rejected drafts of The Thick of It.
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
I guess lots of people wanna say gay.
Miss Bianca
@R-Jud: I don’t know who Grant Shapps is, but his name does have that unfortunate “two pork chops hitting the ground” sound that characterizes Matt Schlapp’s.
And that can’t portend anything good.
Old Man Shadow
@Baud: Can’t imagine why.
But I wouldn’t worry. DeSantis will probably sign an order allowing fundie teachers without accreditation or degrees or training to come in and read from the textbook and Bible for $10/hr.
germy shoemangler
@Omnes Omnibus:
I never read him so I’m not getting your reference.
germy shoemangler
@Old Man Shadow:
Hell, all those new police can do it. The ones who quit their jobs in other states because they didn’t want no vaccine
cope
@Betty Cracker: I had lunch with two of my teaching buddies yesterday. Two of us are retired, the young guy is still in the business and only because he works at the county level and not in the classroom any more. We two retirees opined that, were we not retired (each of us could still be teaching), we would be bailing from the profession, at least here in The Mildew State.
Old Man Shadow
@Old School: “Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second is tired of your shit and has decided to lead her government until such time as you all stop sucking.”
geg6
@Miss Bianca:
LOL, I had the same thought.
germy shoemangler
Omnes Omnibus
@germy shoemangler:
“If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.”
E.M. Forster
Redshift
Tony Jay ranted about the multiple scandals here. (You may want to take the election losses as read and skip down to the Scandal Hits Home and Pinchergate sections.)
germy shoemangler
@Omnes Omnibus:
Ah, I see.
Miss Bianca
@RinaX: It involves boys (or men, I’m using the term “boys” loosely here), so if course *that* shit will not stand.
divF
@Miss Bianca:
I’m just imagining what Mad Magazine’s Don Martin could have done with this.
Miss Bianca
@divF: lol, YES!!
Redshift
@mistermix:
As Tony Jay explained it, appointed him to a position that gave him leverage over Tory MPs, including, you know, a lot of young men.
So part of this is not just another round of obvious lying, it’s “screw over the country, fine, but screwing us over personally is the last straw.” Plus the growing certainty that they’ll be more likely to stay in power with the same horrible policies and less obviously horrible person as the face of it.
kalakal
@Miss Bianca: Grant Shapps aka Michael Green, Corrine Stockheath, Sebastian Fox is a spiv who ran a lot of dodgy companies hence the aliases. A quality hire by Johnson
Martin
@Baud: I’m guessing that will get worse as we get closer to the school year. Some of the new district policies I’ve seen are going to cause a lot of teachers to just nope out of that job.
kalakal
Most accurate quote I’ve seen yet
NotMax
British schools no longer include lessons about Mr. Profumo and Ms Keeler?
//
Mai Naem mobile
@mistermix: my niece lives in the UK. I haven’t talked to her about British politics in a while but last year she said Rishi Sunak would be the next Tory candidate. She’s a laborite but she’s met Sunak at work and is pretty impressed by him.
scav
@Redshift: The Arse Pincher thing also feeds into a general growing scandal about sexual abuse in the Commons as a whole so that’s also hitting a bit closer to home to Tory members (along with the purely Jonhson inspired diminishing odds of being re-elected).
Miss Bianca
@kalakal: OMG, this *is* starting to sound like a Monty Python sketch. All we need is for Spiny Norman to rise up over the roof of Number 10 Downing Street.
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: Dinsdale!
NotMax
‘@kalakal
Ever heard of Michael Green?
Corrine Stockheath?
Sebastian Fox?
Grant Shapps?
How about Betty Jo Bialosky?
:)
oatler
@divF:
Katoonga!
Danielx
@mistermix:
If ever there was a name straight from a Monty Python movie…
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: seriously, tho! This character sounds like a missing Piranha Brother. Or several of them, come to that.
kalakal
Well for many years Private Eye has called Johnson ‘Boris the Jackal’ after he was recorded on tape telling a chum that he could arrange to get a pesky journalists legs broken to stop an investigation.
An old chum called Darius Guppy ( I’m not making this up) had turned to insurance fraud after running through mummy and daddy’s money and asked Johnson for help
How johnson avoided prison is a disgrace
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darius_Guppy
NotMax
‘@Danielx
Has always sounded like a decidedly minor entity from Lovecraft to these ears.
Anotherlurker
@NotMax: You mean Audrey Farber?
M31
a crooked finger on a teacup but it turns out to be a toe?
JGreen
I’ve mentioned this before, but a real good source of info on the doings of Boris Johnson and his bunch while waiting for the next masterpiece by Tony Jay is A Different Bias on YouTube. Phil Moorhouse does a daily video about 10-15 minutes long on the latest doings in UK politics and it’s always very informative as well as amusing, His view is very similar to Tony’s; he’s just not as creative with the wordplay.
From what I gather, it’s not just the scandal with Pincher that’s bringing Flobalob (h/t Tony Jay) down. The Pincher scandal is just the culmination of an enormous list of scandals, particularly ones connected with parties the Tories and Johnson were having while the UK was in strict lockdown because of COVID. People couldn’t see dying relatives because there were supposed to be no gatherings, but Johnson ignored it and then lied about like he lies about everything (sound familiar?)
Phil Moorhouse’s point is that Johnson’s only value to the Tories is as a campaigner–he doesn’t really want to govern and is lazy and dishonest. But he did lead them to major gains in Parliament in 2019. Now, he’s a liability as was shown in recent by-elections which Tony described recently, so now they want him gone and they’re going to push him out somehow. He won’t resign, so they have to find some other way.
Really–check out A Different Bias. You may have to spend some time catching up on past videos, but it’s well worth it if you want to know what’s going on. He’s also really good about the mess that Brexit is causing.
R-Jud
@NotMax: I am pretty sure JRM retires to the Upside-Down via a haunted mirror every night.
Tony Jay
@R-Jud:
That’s just what he wants you to think.
In reality he’s a beer-swilling former welder from Glasgow called Jimmy ‘The Pipe’ McTaggert who started popping down to London once a week in the mid-80s to pick up consignments of uncut heroin and, one day, decided to kill time with a spot of Edwardian Cosplay.
It all just got a wee bit out of hand.
Fair Economist
I’m not so eager to have Boris gone because the Tories will appoint somebody at least as bad but the media will jump to fluffing them for “turning the Tories around”.
And in the tinfoil hat department, I wonder if the Russians and their money are helping push this.
MisterForkbeard
I think Boris learned the Trump lesson really well: just refuse to leave or apologize and keep going and the media will decide it’s normal and acceptable. Because if it was really bad, he’d leave… right?
Tom Levenson
@Tony Jay: Given the verisimilitude with which our Glaswegian pipe fitter inhabits the Rees-Mogg persona, I suspect the heroin he was muleing was very far from uncut. Stepped on like a centipede stomps a leaf.
R-Jud
@Tony Jay: That explains the names he’s given his children, then.
Omnes Omnibus
@Tom Levenson: He’s very Method.
phdesmond
at 2:40 in that video from Prime Minister’s Questions, the speaker dropped the phrase “a zed-list cast of nodding dogs” i had to screech to a halt and google in order to grasp the meaning.
evodevo
@germy shoemangler:
You should watch Tracy Ullmann’s take on him – hilarious, but true to form
sab
@Baud: It has been more than half a century since I was a student in Florida, but back then a lot of our best teachers were retirees from other states who already had pensions. So quitting would be easy. They mostly kept teaching because they loved it. Current Florida policies would take a lot of the joy out of teaching.
kalakal
Boris Johnson’s success is all Angus Deaton’s fault.
Deaton was a successful comic and actor who hosted ‘Have I got News for You’ , a satirical comedy show. In 2002 the tabloids monstered him in a cocaine and call girls scandal. Despite the public supporting him he was dropped and the program had a series of guest hosts. Johnson did his scatterbrained ‘Gosh!Crikey’ animated haystack schtick and became probably the best known politician in the country. Also a lot of people liked him because he made them laugh.
The MSM have provided cover and boost ever since.
karensky
@mistermix: Thanks for the Guardian video. I realized halfway through that I was watching it with my mouth wide open. Great theater.
realbtl
Will Florida refuse to hire a teacher with the same last name as Marvin Gaye? Could be tricky.
CaseyL
Well. Johnson is refusing to resign and if they push him, says he will go to the Queen and ask for an early election.
Definitely Trumpian.
sdhays
@CaseyL: LOL. The Leopard is eating his party’s face!
Miss Bianca
@CaseyL: It really seems like shamelessness has become a hallmark of modern conservatism. What once would have sunk a politician or other public figure beyond recall is now met with either a “meh” or a “whatcha gonna do about it…punk?” from the figures in question. And also from their voters.
PaulB
While I’m delighted to hear about Johnson’s troubles and the likelihood of his being forced out, I’m not sure it will make all that much difference. My understanding of UK politics is limited but I can’t help thinking that, like Trump, the problem is not just with the man, it’s with the party.
Until this latest kerfuffle, the UK media haven’t been very aggressive about documenting Johnson’s personal failings and have been doing even less with respect to the Tory party’s abhorrent policies. Until and unless that changes, I’m skeptical that real change is coming. You’d need the media to step and the public to wake up. Any signs of that happening?
NotMax
‘@CaseyL
“How does Your Majesty feel about next Wednesday?”
//
CaseyL
@sdhays: @Miss Bianca:
I think he’s down to three or four Cabinet Ministers at this point.
Any minute now, he’s gonna go to some posh neighborhood and stroll the street, asking random people if they want to be a Minister.
ETA: And to @PaulB: ‘s point, if Johnson does brazen it out, how much you want to bet the Tories will fall silent, and the UK media will worship him for it?
trollhattan
Young Boris and young Donny were half a degree apart, if that. From a teacher at Eton:
Baud
@Miss Bianca:
The hallmark of modern conservativism is daring people to vote for the opposition party. They know that most people in the middle think they’re tough but actually are quite afraid.
karen marie
@germy shoemangler: You’re not that gullible, right?
NotMax
Wondering what odds the bookmakers are giving on Boris becoming the next steward of the Chiltern Hundreds?
patrick II
Boris is terrible in most ways — but he has been a leader in the war in Ukraine. He was the first foreign head-of-state to visit Kyiv and has been aggressive in sending British weaponry. Does anyone know what will happen when he is gone? Do these policies run deep in the Torie government?
Ken
What are her options if that happens? I suppose having him beheaded is off the table.
I see her reserve powers include refusing to dissolve Parliament, dismissing a Prime Minister, and appointing a PM of her choosing. So I suppose she could say “No, We would prefer to try forming a new Government, and We will be asking Sir Ed Davey and Nicola Sturgeon to try to assemble a coalition….”
CaseyL
God damn. Now one Minister who was pushing Johnson to resign has shifted sides and is OK with him staying
ETA: Zahawi and Patel sticking with him.
Baud
@Ken:
The Queen is feckless. We need her to lead!
Ksmiami
@Miss Bianca: I was thinking more Benny Hill
NotMax
‘@CaseyL
“Why not support Sunak?”
“Too Vulcan.”
//
The Moar You Know
Well. Looks like Johnson is going to call everyone’s bluff and it looks like enough of them are gonna fold, mostly so as to keep their jobs. That’s really too fucking bad. I want that asshole gone.
This is why government by cowards doesn’t work. See also, United States, 2016-2020
scav
He’s got a solid case of Après moi, la déluge going, plus an infestation of believing he has the mandate of heaven. He may very well be loving this stage of All the cameras on HIM more than the actual daily grind of actually prime ministering.
NotMax
‘@CaseyL
Feathers
A reminder that the Prince of Wales accepted a suitcase with 1 million Euros in cash from Qatar’s Prime Minister.
Seems to fit right in with the government. Going to be very interesting once the Queen is gone.
Baud
@Feathers:
Who does Prince Charles think he is? Jared Kushner?
RaflW
If we had a functioning press corps here, this would be the news peg upon which to hang a review/refresh of Trump Admin dalliances with the Russians. Alas.
Tony Jay
Ha, why do I have to be such a busy bee tonight? I should be basking in this joyful chaos, instead I have to nip in and out whenever I get the chance like a bee sipping nectar from a particularly lovely flower.
Anyway, quick take.
Given that Flobalob has stuck his lip out and refused to let anyone else play with his toys…
And given that he more or less threatened to call a General Election if MPs insisted on frustrating his popular mandate…
And given that some of the ministers who were amongst the Get Out delegation are now saying they’ll stay in post…
And given that his line of argument is that he wants to stay on, not out of personal ambition, but because without him the Tories will be forced to call an autumn/winter election – that they will lose…
And given that the Brextremists are about to launch a takeover of the 1922 Committee and force a new leadership vote…
I think he’s either trying to squeeze the maximum payoff for him going quietly (cash, shares, guaranteed House of Lords seat, basically a gold plated retirement package) or he’s laying the groundwork for calling a General Election to ‘protect’ the Tory Party from making a catastrophic mistake by defenestrating the man who won them 14 million votes and saved the country from Corbynism.
Ah, it’s a saga now.
NotMax
‘@Feathers
“Euros? What the bloody hell are we supposed to do with those?”
//
Miss Bianca
@patrick II: Yeah, bad as BoJo has been, his one redeeming facet, far as I’m concerned, has been his support for Ukraine. Maybe it was all based on a cynical bid for kudos. But then again…maybe not. And maybe the next PM will be worse on that issue. That’s my fear.
Birdie
@Fair Economist: Ha, I was wondering the same thing and worried that I was becoming a conspiracy theorist.
Timill
The game must be up now: https://twitter.com/Number10cat/status/1544370237432381441
CaseyL
Johnson is going to stay in power, the Ministers who quit will come crawling back, Tories demanding his ouster will fold, and the news will be all about Johnson’s strength of will. (Nothing at all about why people wanted him out; nothing about the unending series of scandals…)
Holy shittakes.
Alison Rose
@Miss Bianca: Even if it was a PR thing, to me that doesn’t matter–help is still help no matter the motivation. It’s like when corporations plant trees or something and people are like IT’S ONLY SO THEY LOOK GOOD but like…trees still got planted, you know?
I don’t know enough about UK politics to comment on anything else regarding Johnson’s work, but like you say, on Ukraine he has been a real leader and to me at least, it seems to be genuine.
Kropacetic
But Florida has been nurturing such a positive environment for teachers to work in…
trollhattan
@Tony Jay:
To think it’s just lunchtime here. He’s dug in those bespoke heels.
Fourteen million, or about half of a Florida. Good luck, UK.
trollhattan
@Kropacetic:
Critical race theory (whatever that is): out, armed teachers: in.
“We’re also welding shut all but one door.”
kalakal
The European Press has some choice phrasing regarding Johnson’s travails
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jul/06/boris-johnson-european-media-react-ship-of-fools?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
Msb
Johnson is trying the old Nixon line – I could leave but I have to do the harder thing and stay, so as not to deprive the country of my wonderfulness.
His Cabinet – what Starmer called “the charge of the lightweight brigade” – may stick by him because they know they’d never be ministers in any other Tory government. BUT, nobody is more ruthless than the Tory Party in dispatching a leader past their sell-by date. This is likely to get equally nasty and entertaining. The only certainty is that Johnson won’t go voluntarily. Like trump, he’ll need to be dragged out, kicking and screaming. But sufficiently scared Tories will be willing to do the dragging.
Tony Jay
ETA – He doesn’t give a fuck about Ukraine, any more than he gives a fuck about Britain. He was in very hot water for being a bought and paid for tool of Russian oligarchs when the invasion started and questions were starting to be asked about Russian state interference in UK elections and referendums, including Brexit, so painting himself as The Leader of The Free World where Ukraine was concerned (it’s not his money he’s throwing at it) was purely a cynical PR move. Nothing more, nothing less.
And just to be clear, I don’t expect him to actually lead the Tories into a General Election as much as I expect him to ramp up the threat of calling one to frighten those who want him out into backing off (maybe, worth a shot) and, if they don’t back off, to threaten to actually do it as a parting fuck-you to the Party that dared to betray him unless they show him the money.
Yes, this would lead to a Constitutional crisis (does an outgoing PM who doesn’t command the support of his own MPs have the authority to call an Election?) but it serves them right for defying the World King, doesn’t it?
Tony Jay
ETA – He doesn’t give a fuck about Ukraine, any more than he gives a fuck about Britain. He was in very hot water for being a bought and paid for tool of Russian oligarchs when the invasion started and questions were starting to be asked about Russian state interference in UK elections and referendums, including Brexit, so painting himself as The Leader of The Free World where Ukraine was concerned (it’s not his money he’s throwing at it) was purely a cynical PR move. Nothing more, nothing less.
And just to be clear, I don’t expect him to actually lead the Tories into a General Election as much as I expect him to ramp up the threat of calling one to frighten those who want him out into backing off (maybe, worth a shot) and, if they don’t back off, to threaten to actually do it as a parting fuck-you to the Party that dared to betray him unless they show him the money.
Yes, this would lead to a Constitutional crisis (does an outgoing PM who doesn’t command the support of his own MPs have the authority to call an Election?) but it serves them right for defying the World King, doesn’t it?
trollhattan
@kalakal: Heh, I’m not used to Germans having such skewering turns of phrase, but Der Spiegel brings the heat.
“Cosmos of lies” “stinking pigswill” don’t hold back now.
Gin & Tonic
Boy, today’s Wordle sucked donkey balls. Got it in 6, but it pissed me right off.
Tony Jay
@trollhattan:
I like the cut of Der Jib
Oh, and he’s just sacked Michael Gove, which is basically sticking two fingers up to Murdoch.
Christ, the tell-all books coming out of this are going to be luminescent.
Gin & Tonic
@Tony Jay: Like I said, I don’t give a shit why he did it, but the weapons systems Ukraine is getting are damn good.
Kropacetic
“We’re also welding shut all but one door.”
It disgusts me how they’re refusing to educate or protect children. “Pro-life party” my Granny’s wrinkly booty.
karen marie
@kalakal: I remember when Johnson was elected mayor of London. He was lauded as being a “man of the people.” How did that happen?
CaseyL
@Tony Jay: Things have simply gone insane over there. I guess Johnson thinks if he spills enough blood, he’ll cow the rest – and considering the dubious quality of persons he brought in, that’s not a bad bet.
Tony Jay
@Gin & Tonic:
Perfectly fine. I wouldn’t expect you or any Ukrainian to care about the why of it. That’s not why I’m saying it.
But credit, he deserves none. He’s just buying good press and PR. If they weren’t on the table he’d be as disinterested as he was back when Putin first invaded.
germy shoemangler
Kropacetic
I suspect not by doing anything to help the people, but rather being “relatable.”
I could see myself having a beer with that tosspot.
karen marie
@patrick II: How soon we forget. Johnson visited Ukraine because he was in the middle of the uproar over COVID parties. He supports Ukraine solely because it is useful to him to do so.
@Baud: The Queen has cut back her “official duties” significantly because she’s – apparently – in increasingly frail health.
Tony Jay
@CaseyL:
It’s gone too far now. Too many resignations, too few loyal sycophants. He’s got a gun to the Party’s head and a list of demands, and if they’re not met, he’ll pull the trigger without a second thought.
schrodingers_cat
@Gin & Tonic: Got it in 5 but agree with the assessment. That was a difficult word.
MattF
I just can’t get over the fact that sexual predator at the root of the current scandal is named ‘Pincher’.
kalakal
@Tony Jay: Sacking Gove is the political equivalent of cutting his own throat. Gove is an ambulant pile of spittle but his Big Bad Uncle Ruperts ambulant pile of spittle
Omnes Omnibus
@Tony Jay: He’ll survive the day by continuing to be Boris. Will it get him past the weekend?
Betty Cracker
@trollhattan: Who do they think they are, Tony Jay?
CaseyL
@Tony Jay: But they’re all courtiers, with no motivation other than personal advancement. I see them as similar to the GOPers who once opposed DJT, then became his most slavish sycophants: they will eat any number of shit sandwiches, to keep their jobs.
The Ministers only resigned because they believed he’d have no choice but to quit if enough of them did. Any sane person would have thought the same.
But they’re dealing with a solipsistic narcissist (if that isn’t a redundancy) who believes he can weather this storm simply by staying put.
Maybe he can.
Tony Jay
@karen marie:
The UK Media.
He was and is entirely a product of friendly Media promotion and the kind of reputational protection usually afforded only to the very rich or the very well-connected to ninja assassins.
People ‘like’ him because they’ve been told for decades that ‘everyone loves Boris’ and only prudes, bores and Lefty moaners don’t find his antics funny. And when the shit he pulls can’t be massaged into a feel-good tale of cheeky rascaldom, they simply don’t report on it.
That’s why the Tories picked him in 2019. They wanted the cover of his Media love-affair and the electability that came with it.
They’ll never admit it though.
kalakal
@Tony Jay: exactly. That and the media hated Angus Deaton
Uncle Cosmo
@mistermix: You meant “that insufferable twit Jerkoff Grease-Smogg,” dincha?
Chief Oshkosh
@Gin & Tonic: Sluff the fluff over the bluff?
Tony Jay
@kalakal:
It’s always been bizarre. Deaton, a TV funnyman, sacked and disgraced for the kind of sex and drugs exposé that simply wouldn’t happen in Flobby World. Not that he wouldn’t do those kind of things, even boast about them with a faked stutter and and a smirk towards the camera, but it simply wouldn’t be allowed to become a problem for him.
Decades of having every problem dealt with by someone else, every fuck-up massaged into a laddish legend, I’m not surprised he thinks he’s the King of the World. The fucking Media crowned him as that a long time ago, he’s just come to expect it as his just rewards for being The Product.
Getting rid of Gove is part of that. He’s Murdoch’s man, the perennial figure that’s always there on the group photograph no matter what. Booting him is a story, an event, a shocking and unexpected twist that gets you to carry on reading this real-life potboiler regardless of what you think of the plot or the characters.
The News Media are practically wetting themselves. They just don’t want this to end. This is what they created him for, for moments like this. The drama!
Also, I’ll just add, Sajid Javid simply can’t pull off a Geoffrey Howe moment. He looks like a Sontaran and sounds like Richard Ayowade.
Bruce K in ATH-GR
I recall an explainer somewhere that when it comes to the British government, “theoretically, the Crown gets a veto; realistically, the Crown gets one veto” (i.e. if the Queen overrides the Government once, the laws will be changed so no monarch can ever do it again).
Those of you who know the quirks of governance in Sunny Brexitlandia, how accurate is that? (Charles Stross keeps insisting that if QE2 didn’t invoke her veto over losing India, nothing else would come close to that threshold…)
Tony Jay
@CaseyL:
The Media would love this to continue, but it can’t. In the cold light of day, when the thrill of the drama has worn off and everyone has to make their sandwiches for another day of real life, it will sink in.
He has no Government left. It’s over.
Ben Cisco
@Tony Jay:
“COMPUTER! You Have Failed In Your Mission!”
MattF
@Bruce K in ATH-GR: There’s a fairly specific set of conditions for Elizabeth Windsor to get involved. And she probably doesn’t want to.
Kropacetic
I may need to look into this. I take occasional interest in sex scandals because of the occasional sex scandal that shouldn’t be a scandal.
Tony Jay
@Bruce K in ATH-GR:
It was all decided a long time ago. Parliament acknowledged that the Crown could have Absolute Power… as long as only Parliament could wield that power in the Monarch’s name. They got lives of luxury and privilege, the protection of secret deals to preserve them from having to obey the common people’s laws, and in return all they had to do was keep their mouths shut about politics and sign whatever was put in front of them.
No monarch is ever going to fuck with that deal.
CaseyL
@Tony Jay: What are his chances for cobbling together a new Cabinet? I mean, there are plenty of conscienceless ambitious sprats available, and they don’t even have to know anything about anything, just be willing to show up at meetings!
Ruckus
@germy shoemangler:
As it turns out Monty Python wasn’t comedy, it was biographical. Well delivered, in a humorous manner, but it wasn’t comedy.
Tony Jay
@Ben Cisco:
“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
Tony Jay
@Kropacetic:
I think it was hookers and blow. Early to mid 90s. It was a strangely puritanical time in some respects, especially when the tabloids decided you’d got too big for your boots.
@CaseyL:
Apparently the whips went around today asking who fancied taking advantage of these unexpected career opportunities and the response they received was, to say the least, muted. Basically a series of straight Nos followed by stronger words.
They’d already scraped the barrel. Who in their right minds is going to want to strap themselves to this concrete-booted corpse when it’s already half submerged by the oily waters of Dead Man’s Cove?
Kropacetic
To my mind, perfectly acceptable behavior. Unless you’re both in the position of enforcing laws against such things and advocating for such laws to remain in place, see Elliot Spitzer.
Tony Jay
@Kropacetic:
Britain’s Media. It’s hypocrites all the way down.
Doug R
@germy shoemangler:
You mean the ones that haven’t dropped dead from COVID:
Washington State Patrol trooper who told Gov. Inslee to ‘kiss my ass’ over vaccine mandate dies of COVID
bjacques
@Tony Jay: if the Saj looks like a Sontaran, Sunak looks like the Grand Serpent (who was also a bad ‘un in Line Of Duty).
mozzerb
@Kropacetic: the problem for Angus Deayton (a founder member of the Peter Strzok Society for the Frequently Misspelt) was that as the host of HIGNFY, his schtick basically consisted of drily skewering politicians and celebs for bad behaviour. Once he was revealed to be doing exactly the same things himself, he looked ridiculous and his position as host became untenable.
He did actually just about survive the first round of stories with a grovelling apology, but of course the tabloids had kept some back and that was that.
Steve in the ATL
@Tony Jay: that’s the problem. Should have done something more high end, such as escorts and cocaine.
Doug R
@phdesmond:
“Zed” is just the old tymey way of saying “Z”.
Just picture Kathy Griffin’s Life on the D List and project from there.
Baud
@Tony Jay:
I’m told the preferred term is sex workers.
Tony Jay
@bjacques:
It’s true. We’ve basically got a Government of crappy Dr Who villains topped up by all of the Slitheen.
Ben Cisco
@Tony Jay: Loved that show!!
Tony Jay
@Steve in the ATL:
I was attempting le patois américain.
We’d just say “It was a Tuesday”
Tony Jay
@Baud:
Are they Unionised?
GoBlueInOak
@mistermix: More likely will be one from among Rishi Sunak (former chancellor of the exchequer), Penny Mordaunt (former defense minister, then trade minister, and a Naval reservist), or Sajid Javid (health secretary, former chancellor of the exchequer, former home secretary) or Liz Truss (foreign secretary).
There’s also couple of dudebros lurking in wings who have kept their heads down through all this as well, but seems those first four would, to various degrees, mark clearer breaks from BoJo.
Personally, if BoJo successfully pushed out, I’d bet a “sober, clean break” type succeeds him & rights things with the public, and Keir Starmer winds up holding the boobie prize again.
Kropacetic
Strzok me, Strzok me…Strzok…Strzok…
As far as the behavior; one could argue continuing to criminalize adult decisions concerning their own bodies; in this case cocaine and sex work, but not limited to that; deserves ridicule.
GoBlueInOak
@Tony Jay: Oh god. Now I can’t unsee Sajid as a Sontaran. Like, completely cannot unsee it.
Librarian
is the title a Dylan reference?
Tony Jay
@GoBlueInOak:
“I hope someday to meet you in glory of battle where I will crush the life from your worthless human form. Try and get some rest.”
I love Strax.
kalakal
The soundtrack to this should be Mambo No 5 using the resignees names
RaflW
@The Moar You Know: See also Republicans 2008-present.
brantl
@NotMax: I thought that was Betty Jo Bialoffsky