Back home, and spent the day with my dog.
Does anyone know of a program like Song Sergeant, but for windows?
This post is in: Open Threads
Back home, and spent the day with my dog.
Does anyone know of a program like Song Sergeant, but for windows?
Comments are closed.
Mark S.
Well, did any of those teabaggers recapture what they felt on 9/12, when there weren’t any red states or blue states? I wonder if it’s hard to get that feeling when you are holding a “Obama=Hitler” sign.
Max
I need Chicago to win tonight in order for me to stay in contention in my football pool.
Go Bears!
Oh, and tomorrow night… Go Bills!
Incertus
Go Saints! Though the special teams about gave me a heart attack, imagine how bad ass Drew Brees will be if he has a running game like he did today.
And though I posted this in the other thread, cornholing is a legitimate game? How did I not know this?
asiangrrlMN
I want both teams to lose tonight. Is that possible?
Laura W Darling
And……..
No mention of Tunch. And you wonder why he hates you.
How soon they forget.
Max
Oh and dear, sweet, baby jesus in a tuxedo shirt, if the 49’ers could lose, that would help me out too.
kthxbai
John Cole
@Laura W Darling: Tunch got some love, too.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Incertus: You just haven’t spent much time in North Carolina.
gbear
Only if someone blasted them all with a fine powder of asbestos, ceiling tile dust and human ashes.
IndyLib
Well, this is a lovely addition to pic gallery of racist/stupid/incoherent.
Nethead Jay
Regarding alternatives to Song Sergeant, take a look at TidySongs or meta-iPod.
Demo Woman
We were lost this weekend without animal pictures. How about an update. How did Lily do with the pups? Did they just pester her the entire time? Did she knock you over in excitement when you returned? So many questions and no answers.
asiangrrlMN
TUNCH! I demand Tunch pictures now, or else!
asiangrrlMN
@IndyLib: Wow. What a vomit-inducing picture.
J.
Jets won, 24-7! Sanchez was awesome, as were Leon Washington, Thomas Jones, and the Jets defense. Great game… if you’re a Jets’ fan. Watch out, Stillers!
In other football news, the highest paid player in football history has some ‘splainin’ to do. Yeah, the G-Men won, 23-17, but it wasn’t pretty. And Eli and the boys didn’t look and/or play nearly as confident as the stadium-sharing NY Jets.
IndyLib
@asiangrrlMN:
Yeah I thought that one was pretty sickening.
My 19 daughter pointed out earlier that in every sign that says the word sockulist or Hitler, the asshats carrying them should just be honest and replace it with ni**er, because that’s what they really mean.
Comrade Darkness
I’ve been getting work done, so I don’t know if the Oprah chicago flashmob video has been posted here.
For those in need of something uplifting. 21,000 people in the street having a good time as a group with the black eyed peas.
TX Expat
@IndyLib:
That woman is smiling like she just won best pie at the county fair. Except that making a pie requires a bit of skill.
Punchy
Why does every fucking team in the NFL get to start with a cupcake patsy oppy except my Bears? Crapola. I mean, Matt Forte’s rushing forte will allow them to win forte to nothing. But it’d be nice if they could start with the Lions and put trip digs on the scoreboard.
IndyLib
@TX Expat:
Good response from one of the commenters at Wonkette.
Bless her heart, bless her heart
bless her evil, racist heart
bless her evil, racist, fox-watching, motherfucking heart.
The Grand Panjandrum
John Amato:
He’s got video AND the President sounds pretty straight forward in what he wants passed.
To all the teabaggers (and I am shamelessly stealing this from Tbogg): Burn your Medicare cards, or you’re all a bunch of posers!
IndyLib
I don’t think the word “not” means what this guy thinks it means.
TX Expat
Hey, I’m gonna throw this out to y’all to see if any of you have ideas about dealing with a teabagger father.
Since the advent of Fox News/talk radio my dad has gotten further and further out there to the point that when we spoke last he said things to me like, “…al quaeda (in the context of a torture debate) are terrorists so deserve everything they get, but then you and your kind wouldn’t agree because y’all call them freedom fighters” and, in the context of health care/rescission “…if you did pay your premiums, got breast cancer, and then your insurance wouldn’t cover it, you would be just asking for a handout from the government to cover the $200,000 bill, like you always do. And that is wrong, you should just get a $200,000/year job and then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
I don’t care so much about the differing political views, but the personal attacks are a bit much – a gross understatement.
I’ve been fuming for 2 days to no avail, any constructive ideas that don’t involve shunning?
TX Expat
@IndyLib:
Thanks for that. I should have added in my comment that racism is easy, pie-making not so much. ;-)
Napoleon
Hey John, your honest conservative James Joyner is spewing more BS.
http://www.samefacts.com/2009/09/uncategorized/the-false-flag-lie/
steve s
@IndyLib:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3912802983/in/photostream/
Midnight Marauder
@TX Expat:
I’ve been fuming for 2 days to no avail, any constructive ideas that don’t involve shunning?
Nope. Honestly, that sounds like he’s pretty far gone. Might be time to walk away for a while.
MikeJ
re song sergeant, I had a snippet of javascript somewhere that did the deduping. For better naming, look at musicbrainz Picard.
IndyLib
@TX Expat:
Yeppers, pie is much more difficult.
jl
@TX Expat: When my family wingnuts talk that way, usually something is eating at them and is beyond rational argument, and sometimes not even political. Best thing to do in my experience is just wait a bit and see if they calm down. If not, and you can stand to listen to it, just talk with them sympathetically to explore their thinking. Don’t try to argue with them. With luck, you can find out what is eating at him.
Corner Stone
In the name of all that’s Holy – what the absolute hell is Faith Hill wearing?
FSM take me now.
Max
@TX Expat: Is your dad collecting Social Security or Medicare, or planning to?
There was a stat on Dylan Rattigan’s show a couple weeks ago that showed that older contributors paid in like $60 and are getting $100 in benefit, but for the younger generation, the reverse is true.
Those are not the right numbers, but you could google it.
It’s like the Red States bitching about the government oppression, yet they are the states that contribute the least and get the most, while the blue states tend to be the donor states.
Otherwise, my advice is to change the subject and agree to disagree.
IndyLib
@steve s:
You know what I see in that pic? A depressingly large number of people who don’t look old. Most comments talk about how old this group is, and maybe if we had a way to see all of them together that would be obvious, but in a lot of the pics I’ve seen in the last couple of days I’ve noticed more people that look like they are between 25-40 than I was expecting.
TX Expat
@Midnight Marauder:
You may be right. Pleas for civility and a curtailment of ad hominem attacks are met with “you’re trying to control what I say and I’m not going to let you do that. I can say anything I want.”
This breaks my heart and makes me want to punch him in the face at the same time. The Dalai Lama would not be proud.
Jamey
J.:
Manning was 20-29, with two TDs, and an INT that came off a tip. Giants DOMINATED the game offensively and defensively, even though they “only” won by a touchdown. Wishing Eel sucked isn’t the same as Eel actually sucking, and the ‘Skins are a MUCH better team than the Texans. Highest paid player? Nice of you to concern-troll the Giant’s payroll… ;)
Except for that TD run that tacked onto an already insurmountable lead, Jones was pretty weak–even by his already mercurial standards. Washington, however, is a monster. I see him with 1800+ all purpose yards before the campaign is over.
I want to see Sanchez throw at a REAL secondary, or contend with a top-five pass rush. But I definitely like what I saw from him today. Jets came out of l’affair Favre a stronger team–and I think Rex will make them a fun squad to watch this season.
Andrew
TuneUp Companion seems to work well enough that I’m considering paying for it. Any free alternatives?
Nethead Jay
@Incertus: Yay, another Saints guy :)
jl
@asiangrrlMN: Be nice to poor Mr. Cole. He said he tried to greet Mr. Tunch in a friendly loving way upon return, so might be off bandaging his hand, if he didn’t do it as per Mr. Tunch’s high standards.
But we are eager for Lily and Tunch pics, which sometimes also provide indirect evidence that they are treating Cole well.
Dave C
Doe anybody know how quickly CBS puts their “60 Minutes” segments up online? I want to watch the Obama interview, but I’m not going to be able to see it live.
Corner Stone
@TX Expat: I am absolutely surrounded by nutters down here but I can at least be thankful that none are in my family.
After all the fruitless back and forths I have with my nutter friends, it would break my heart to have the same kind of deranged other-worldly a-factual monologue with a family member.
Corner Stone
@Jamey: I won’t agree with the comment that the Skins are a “MUCH” better team than the Texans – I think they’ll both be in the 8-8, or 9-7 region – but everything else you said sounds right.
Our secondary sucked yet Sanchez only threw two touch passes, and one of them was to a wide open Stuckey.
Just not much of a display from either team, and certainly not one from the Jets that will have Steelers fans worried.
Fell asleep during the 4th quarter.
Brachiator
@TX Expat:
Does your father drive? Does he have auto insurance? If he does, he should drop it immediately. If he gets into an accident, why should he be able to leech onto an insurance company or the public? He should be able to post a bond that guarantees medical and liability payments for any conceivable accident.
He should also be demanding that ALL Republicans in the Congress give up their government-sponsored health insurance and pay their own way. And of course, he should be against Medicare.
But since Rush, presumably one of his heroes, has health insurance and used it when he was getting off drugs, you should also ask your father why is it OK for Limbaugh to have insurance, since he obviously makes enough to do without it.
Corner Stone
I’m ashamed to admit it but – I get a little juiced when watching the Southwest Airlines “IT’S ON” commercials.
MikeJ
Looks like the teabaggers are sexist too, not that it’s really a big surprise.
South of I-10
@Incertus: Saints game was great! All of my teams won this weekend, but UL beating Kansas State was especially sweet.
Svensker
@J.:
Jets won, 24-7! Sanchez was awesome, as were Leon Washington, Thomas Jones, and the Jets defense. Great game… if you’re a Jets’ fan. Watch out, Stillers!
Ain’t it the truth, ain’t it the truth?! Finally, a Jets game that wasn’t cringe-inducing to watch. Course next week we play the dratted Patsies.
Did you guys catch the unbelievable end of the Broncos-Cincie game?
demkat620
@Svensker: I did. Brandon Stokely has the luck of the Irish. Damn that was amazing.
John Cole
@Napoleon: I saw that OTB the post this morning and just shook my head- I’m about to give up on Joyner. His linkfest to RS McCain, Ace of Spades, vodkapundit, insty and others all gloating about Sullivan the other day was pretty much the end for me. He wants to travel in those circles, have at it.
TX Expat
@jl:
Quite true.
Honestly I think what set my dad into attack mode was me rebuffing his suggestion to go get a corporate law job when I’m done with school. It doesn’t make sense to him that I would want to go into public defense. Where’s the $$$$?
I try to get to what the real beef is, but that usually leads to more belligerence and accusations of me being a leech on society (or at least aspirations to be a leech).
The whole situation is quite frustrating and made even more frustrating by the fact that I’m 40 and he’s 63. We’re supposed to be adults, right?
Agreeing to disagree, which we’ve been doing for quite a while now is reaching its limits. I think what is the hardest to figure out is how to get along with someone who actively *dislikes* you (and says so repeatedly) for your political/ideological affiliation.
Mike in NC
Almost agreed to work from noon until midnight today (person out sick) but remembered “Mad Men” is on at 10 PM and my martini will be calling me.
The Grand Panjandrum
Why do they make this so easy?
Didn’t the Palinistas do something like this during the campaign? I don’t remember. It seems like someone on the Right did somehting like this just last year.
It’s almost like they aren’t really trying. You know, they’re pissed off so they just need to start punching wildly at anything.
The Grand Panjandrum
@The Grand Panjandrum: Fudge. I forget the edit the socia1ist in my comment now in moderatin. Sigh. Submitting to our Balloon Juice overlord is a mighy big yoke for anyone.
Dave C
@Dave C:
To answer my own question, the video of Obama’s interview is now up.
SenyorDave
One thing I want to know is why isn’t Dick Armey public enemy #1 among Democrats? This shitbag should be getting attacks from every direction, and his Freedomworks klan organization should be targeted for boycotts.
The Grand Panjandrum
@John Cole: It really is shocking. He never fell for any BS when Bush was in office. Didn’t agree with him on many issues but he is normally good at clearing out the BS and shooting straight. I just don’t get it.
South of I-10
@demkat620: Brandon Stokely, former Ragin Cajun! I saw his run today, it was amazing.
James K. Polk, Esq.
Most impressive NFL play of day I saw was Adrian Peterson’s 60+ yard romp over multiple defenders.
Minny looking tough…
JK
Un-Fucking-Believable
Charles Darwin film ‘too controversial for religious America’
‘The film [Creation] has no distributor in America. It has got a deal everywhere else in the world but in the US, and it’s because of what the film is about. People have been saying this is the best film they’ve seen all year, yet nobody in the US has picked it up.’
US distributors have resolutely passed on a film which will prove hugely divisive in a country where, according to a Gallup poll conducted in February, only 39% of Americans believe in the theory of evolution.
h/t http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6173399/Charles-Darwin-film-too-controversial-for-religious-America.html
Comrade Mary
@John Cole: John or anyone else: I’d prefer not to give Joyner any more hits, so can someone sum up what this gang-gloating re Sullivan was about?
Chad N Freude
Dick Armey and his Army of Dicks.
OK, I feel better now. (I’m probably not the first to say that, but it feels good anyway.)
Corner Stone
@TX Expat:
If you’ll excuse – it sounds like your dad has some unresolved issues of his own that have nothing to do with you.
I have friends who have been forced to cut off grandma because she insists on being the center of attention at every family event (including little girls’ bday parties), and when she can’t be the center she makes sure everyone knows about it. They didn’t invite her to an HS graduation recently.
Just because they’ve made it to a certain age doesn’t mean they’ve made it past a certain age.
Corner Stone
@James K. Polk, Esq.: Love that guy but I’m afraid his career will be short. He’s still young and hasn’t figured out when to quit.
That was one hellofa play though.
Svensker
@JK:
Charles Darwin film ‘too controversial for religious America’
Embarrassing and infuriating to live in such a proudly ignorant place. Wallow in it, morans!
Chad N Freude
@JK: I call firstsies. I had the link posted on another thread eons ago. There is no limit to the moronity of the citizenry in this country. But we’re still number
onethirty-seven.Comrade Mary
JK, I wouldn’t be alarmed about that. This film was chosen to open at the Toronto Film Festival (the traditional spot for a Canadian film — don’t get me started) but still got meh reviews. I don’t think this film will have a much tougher time getting distributed than any other mediocre middle-brow movie. See also: Scalzi.
James K. Polk, Esq.
@Corner Stone: Why quit on a play when you can just run fools over, then run away from everyone trying to catch you?
Litlebritdifrnt
@JK:
And you are surprised why? I mean really, we are told time and time again that this damn country is the BEST IN THE WORLD, WE ARE THE GREATEST, that this is the most forward thinking progressive country in the world, that you are darn lucky to live here, that you can thank GOD that you were born in the US of A and not in some backwoods shithole that believes in voodoo or some such shit. Oh wait….
TX Expat
@Corner Stone:
Yeah, but I’ve been dealing with it for 40 years. I guess my main complaint is the tone of discourse since Fox News came on the scene.
It’s now ok to be a bullying, belligerent asshole to anyone who doesn’t agree with you – even if that person happens to be your daughter.
Thanks to all for the helpful comments. Unfortunately reason and facts are all up for debate, so trying to reach consensus on what reality is is now out the window.
I think we’re just at a point where I’m going to have try to be the bigger person and quit wishing for that which doesn’t exist.
J.
@Jamey: Well, when you put it THAT way. ; -) For the record, I’m a HUGE Giants fan. But do you really think Eli deserves all that cash? Also, yeah, Thomas didn’t do much in the first half, but the 38-yard TD run made up for it in my book.
@Svensker: Big : ). Totally agree with you — and yeah, next week I will (most likely) be holding my breath. Also, how exciting is it that the two cutest QBs will be facing off?! (Hey, you guys get cheerleaders.) And yes, saw the conclusion of the Broncos-Bengals game. And yes, wow. That miraculous deflection was a GIFT.
Max
@TX Expat: If your dad dislikes you because of your politics, then fuck him. He’s a prick.
It’s okay to not like your parent.
Punchy
If I didnt know any better I’d swear that Cutler is trying to throw this game. Never seen worse throws in one quarter in my life.
I can haz Warren Moon?
Demo Woman
Kristof’s opinion piece in the NYTimes was so good that I went to his blog to read the comments. As you can imagine most were heartbreaking stories about the lack of affordable health care in our country but this one identifies the problem.
The Republicans are feeding into that fear.
Corner Stone
@James K. Polk, Esq.: Hey, I agree with you to a large degree. I feel like Chris Matthews watching GWB land on a carrier every time he gets the ball.
Just want to see him play for a while, and not age worsely than a late 20-something porn star.
General Winfield Stuck
I used to comment over at Joyner’s place fairly regularly, if for no other reason than to bait bithead. No more, though James still occasionally makes some reasonable points on matters, they are getting rarer and rarer. There isn’t a single winger blog that I have any desire to comment on anymore, and even reading the comments is mind numbing in the extreme. I guess it’s choosing up sides time, cause you can’t make grape juice out of prunes, or something like that./
Corner Stone
@Punchy: Third times the charm!
Demo Woman
Sorry mods about the so*cial*ism word. I hope that I’m not banished to long.
@Demo Woman:
The repubs win elections because they able instill fear.
Svensker
Anybody seen signposts since Phil got pied? I’m worried about him.
Ked
@Nethead Jay:
Eeeeek. I suppose things could get screwed up enough to need an application like that, but the thought of of some program doing an automated cleanup of my music files has about as much appeal as dancing with teabaggers.
What if it gets something wrong? You might never know… well, do a backup first, I suppose.
iTunes is a disaster for organizing, anyway. I use Amarok, which has issues, but did a fantastic job of recognizing my collection of albums *as albums*, which is how I prefer to organize and listen. There does seem to be a Windows distro of it, though with a low level of support. Sorry, John, I’m a Linux nerd.
Svensker
I gotta go get horizontal in the dark, rough weekend.
Sign — if you’re out there — hang in.
IndyLib
@J.:
Yes, yes it was. At least Santa is going to be kind to my Broncs once this season.
jl
@TX Expat: I can relate to that. I turned down a big high pay corporate ‘climb-up the shitladder’ job a few years ago, and my self-identified liberal kin went ballistic. Not sure why. I was a grown up. Took them awhile to settle down. Now I have a good payng job with higher prestige, except among wingnuts who, from what I see, have no use for pointy headed smarty-pants types. For awhile my family was furious.
I wouldn’t take his political rantings seriously unless they last past his anger.
JK
John,
A few days ago, in a post titled The Palin Generation you wrote:
“I wonder when Buckley was working to forge the future of conservatism all those years ago if he had any idea it would one day degenerate into a bizarre patchwork of birthers, young-earthers, gun nuts, shithouse lawyers, and conspiracy theorists, with meth mouth and confederate flags serving as the defining characteristics of the new conservatism.”
Christopher Buckley wrote the following in The Daily Beast back on October 27, 2008.
“My father [WFB] was personally fond of Rush, and after the Gingrich coup of 1994, National Review anointed him on its cover “The Leader of the Opposition.” They kept up socially. He visited WFB at our home in Stamford, Conn”
h/t http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-27/my-brush-with-rush/
I’ll give credit to William F. Buckley for driving out the Birchers back in the 1950’s.
On the other hand, how big a leap is it to go from embracing Rush Limbaugh to embracing Sarah Palin and birthers and deathers?
By embracing Limbaugh, I believe William F. Buckley set the wheels in motion for the “bizarre patchwork of birthers, young-earthers, gun nuts, shithouse lawyers, and conspiracy theorists” who have become the heart and soul of today’s conservatism and today’s Republican Party.
Punchy
I’m beginning to see why Denver cut this worthless shitbag. Doesn’t even look like he’s trying or he cares. First game and I’m already sick of his shitty who-cares attitude.
Punchy +3
JK
Chad N Freude, Comrade Mary, Litlebritdifrnt:
I’m an atheist, and I can’t begin to describe the level of disgust I feel that a very large percentage of this country’s citizens hold views on science better suited for the Dark Ages than for 2009.
arguingwithsignposts
@Svensker:
watching the bears/packers game. not feeling any better, but i’m still here. thanks for asking.
SenyorDave
@TX Expat:
Do you have another close relative who can be a mediator? Just tell your dad, calmly and rationally, that it isn’t okay to personally attack you. The presence of someone else should be a modewrating effect. It might not work, but it might be worth a try.
But I do agree with the poster who said it is okay to not like your parent.
Dongo
Tuuuuuuunnnnnnccchhhh!!!
TX Expat
@Corner Stone: @jl: @Max:
Thanks to one and all for the comments. I appreciate it. Each comment has made me feel much better (and a little less angry). smile…
Cheers, TX Expat
Linkmeister
@Corner Stone: “Just because they’ve made it to a certain age doesn’t mean they’ve made it past a certain age.”
I am so stealing that. What a great line!
jl
People are still talking about this American Football. Rather odd game, what what?
I haven’t watched it much for awhile. Now is seems to me that the field is far too small for the game. But it can’t be any bigger given the violence. If the players had more room to accelerate they would maim each other every play.
The last few ‘game-minutes’ usually take what seems like endless hours of wasted precious weekend time. Most of it seems like gaming the rules to me, rather than playing a real game. It’s like watching a BBC drama where no one moves for minutes at a time. Then a few moments of spasmodic action, usually designed to set-up some technical tactical advantage based on obscure and arbitrary rules that seem to violate the whole point of an honest sport, at which point people stand around for God knows how long again. I lose interest unless I am lost in the mania of fanaticism for a particular team (huzzah, gritty little Bruins.)
It’s like the players and coaches are playing a virtual game in place of real game which never actually happens.
I know, it reminds me of US politics! That is why I don’t like it.
But, I love baseball, which is just a absurd.
The Grand Panjandrum
Sorry if this end up being a double post but my other one was in moderation for over 30 minutes.
Why do they make this so easy?
Unity and resistance are what the fist represented in 1917, when it was first employed by the Industrial Workers of the World, a union organization founded by socia1ists. And in the 1940s, when it stood for various nations’ communist party organizations.
Didn’t the Palinistas do something like this during the campaign? I don’t remember. It seems like someone on the Right did somehting like this just last year.
It’s almost like they aren’t really trying. You know, they’re pissed off so they just need to start punching wildly at anything.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Did anyone see Roger Federer’s amazing backwards, through the legs shot to set up match point tonight?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVQhIEPbM0g
I’m glad I tuned into CBS early for 60 minutes. Absolutely amazing.
Max
Go Bears! Nice throw Cutler!
My poor dog. I forgot how scared he gets during football season when I yell at the tv.
jl
@SenyorDave:
“But I do agree with the poster who said it is okay to not like your parent.”
I remeber reading a Jewish commentary on the Old Testament. It said that in the ten commandments, God commanded respect for one’s parents, because even God could not command love within the family.
Sometimes breaches happen, and not much you can do to force them to heal on the schedule you feel is appropriate.
Corner Stone
@SenyorDave:
It’s bi-directional. I know parents in their early 40’s who said about their early 20″s kids, “We love our kids, we just don’t like them.”
They were in a place in their life where they wanted some space, and some free time. The kids were still pretty selfish and not sure about their lives.
I think that’s pretty natural, or at least not out of the realm of understanding.
But when you have someone in their 60’s willfully inflicting trauma – I gotta figure they go to bed every night praying the night terrors don’t come back. And that they have something holding over them for a long time they can’t rationally deal with. They’re scared, ashamed, haunted, etc. and take it out on others because they can’t face it.
madmommy
@TX Expat:
I feel your pain. Every single member of my immediate family is hard-core GOP. In addition they pepper any conversation with references to n*ggers, sp*cs, and every other racial and ethnic slur you’d care to think of. After reaming a few of them for using this language in front of my kids, they’ve just abandoned me to my bleeding-heart liberal ways. We do not discuss politics or current events at family functions. Ever. On the plus side, they don’t send me winger emails anymore, after debunking a few of them and hitting “reply all”. Seems it’s just too embarassing to have their winger friends know that I am “one of those people.”
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@Max:
Oops, spoke too fast. Cutler just screwed the pooch.
TX Expat
@SenyorDave:
The moderating influence is my brother the war hero (literally), but he’s not around too much as he spends a good part of his time deployed. Good news is that I don’t live close to my parents so don’t see them very often.
And yes I’m gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I don’t like a parent. It’s just a sad reality.
Thanks for your comment.
Punchy
Cutler is the worst QB I’ve seen in awhile aside from Joe Harrington and maybe Dave Carr.
What he just did will get him destroyed in the Chicago press tomorrow.
General Winfield Stuck
@Max:
Tell me about it. Haven’t heard from my GOP pappy in months. I’m wondering if he and his pals in SW OH where Fort Wingnut Central Command is located, aren’t putting together The LoRds Militia to make shit right again.
I love him, but don’t like him. And it is mutual, and normal as Hurricanes.
Corner Stone
@jl: I, for one, love your “stranger in a foreign land” commentary re: American style football.
Max
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: I know. Bastard.
I forgot how stressful football season is.
Corner Stone
@Punchy: How DARE you invoke the spectre that is David Carr? ! ? ! ?
May you choke on a thousand penii for this sacrilege!!
Brachiator
@JK:
Perhaps the film would do better if they added a car chase and some nudity.
Max
@TX Expat: As the person who suggested it,
Forgive yourself and move on to people who bring joy to your life. It doesn’t make you a bad person.
Demo Woman
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: Yes. Thanks for the you tube so I can send it my son
jl
@The Grand Panjandrum: Their tax march poster looks pretty Stalinist to me.
I’ve also seen them still quoting Tom Paine, who was an early advocate of social democracy, and proposed social insurance schemes would be ‘radical’ even among most present-day Democrats, financed by soak-the-rich taxes (at least to start it off). And an internationalist too.
Probably shouldn’t point it out to them.
Donald G
@TX Expat:
Sorry, I have no constructive advice. If it was me in your situation, I would separate myself from contact with this man beyond the minimum amount of contact necessary.
I would tell him that when he is no longer capable of taking care of himself not to come to me looking for help or a handout, and that if he’s so damned self-reliant, he can drag himself up by his bootstraps. Otherwise, he can leech off other relatives like a parasite, but that I am not going to be the one he’s going to bleed dry and otherwise take advantage of.
Fortunately, my father isn’t *that* bad, so I’ve never had to put the theory into practice, but I’ve had to rehearse it for decades should it ever become necessary, as you can probably guess if you read further.
Today, two-thirds of the country separate me from my father. My other brother worth speaking about is separated from him by one-third of the country and, until recently, he had cut off all contact with the family. That leaves dad with my brother who was always the black sheep and troublemaker in the family who always gave him fits – and that brother is a “Truther”. :-) It’s either that brother or my racist stepmother’s family. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that a significant portion of them are teabaggers.
If your dad views you with such contempt, I don’t see how an emotionally healthy relationship is even possible. “Feeling (and understanding) his pain” and insecurities only goes so far and too often, it only enables a sick relationship to continue to the detriment of the saner party.
You’re forty years old. You’ve been a legal adult for 22 years and you have the right to be treated with a certain amount of respect as an individual and to live your life as you see fit. If your father can’t cope with that, to hell with him.
jl
@Corner Stone: It’s really me just acting out because the pro teams where I live suck.
arguingwithsignposts
@TX Expat:
I really feel for you, TE. My parents went through a spell where they were hardcore racists. Thankfully, they voted for Obama last year, as unbelievable as that was.
I think it’s possible to dislike someone, but still “love” them. I hope you can find that distinction with your father. If you’re religious, I always point out that Jesus knew what people would do to him, but he loved people despite that knowledge. Love isn’t always the sappy sentimentalism.
I don’t follow that religion any more, but I do think it’s a worthwhile outlook to have. Love always.
Corner Stone
@General Winfield Stuck:
Speaking of hurricanes – can I just say “FUCK YOU HURRICANE IKE!!”
That is all.
Keith G
@TX Expat: Wow. I can tell this really concerns you.
My older brother is an internist in a small Ohio town who is now swinging in the libertarian/arch conservative (fiscal) side of the spectrum. Tho he considers Rush a blowhard, he feels the media is liberal and idolizes Krauth & Golberg. We can not talk about politics. He gets angry and actually mean. I do feel he has marrage and other issues that have pushed his buttons. Right now, we are in a non talking period. I am in Houston, so our interactions are limited anyway.
Soon, if football season goes well for the Buckeyes, (ha!) we will find something to chat about.
I just suggest, keep interaction short and not political for a while and build up (or rebuild) other ties.
Re-enforce his good behavior and politely excuse yourself when he is a pain. All people want acceptence an vaildation. Use that as an angle.
Corner Stone
@jl: That’s what makes it so awesome.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@Max:
Wow. This is bad.
arguingwithsignposts
WTF is up with cutler?
General Winfield Stuck
@TX Expat:
In my case it just took both of us to get a little older to at least have some modicum of a relationship. Used to be, if I saw him after some time had passed, his first question would be, “how’s things in mother Russia” and I would respond with an obligatory “kiss my hippy ass” and things went downhill from there.
Punchy
Now it’s clear that Cutler is throwing this game. 3 picks in less than 1 half. Unpossible unless there’s intent.
JK
@Brachiator:
I think you’ve got something. Additionally, the US version of Creation could be edited to include some spectacular explosions such as the HMS Beagle being blown to smithereens.
Seriously, how dumb and religiously intolerant are the dumbest citizens of this country?
Max
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: I want to kill myself.
I think I am going to let the thoughts of winning $100 in the pool this week and focus on the game that really matters to me, tomorrow night’s Bills game. I love my Bills, but I suspect a bloodbath is upon us.
There’s always next week (and 15 after that) in the pool.
Corner Stone
@arguingwithsignposts:
And this brings us to my problem with the parable of Jesus. The whole time he was here he KNEW he was the son of God. So no matter what insult or disgrace or hatred or torture he was to face – it was very momentary in the larger picture.
It’s kind of like being Claire in Heroes. She can demand that she is the one to be shot because she knows she will heal.
JK
@General Winfield Stuck:
I think the notion of reasonable conservative or reasonable Republican is basically shot to Hell. As uncomfortable as some of these people may feel about the birthers and teabaggers, their hatred of Obama trumps everything.
General Winfield Stuck
@Max:
The eternal motto of we Browns fans, but you can use it:-)
jl
My humble opinion from my experience with friends and family who are so caught up in politics that you cannot have a friendly, or at least neutral, discussion, and it carries over into general bad feelings based on their political stereotypes, is that there are other nonpolitical issues involved. A bad kind of sublimination is going on.
I think this goes for ‘my side’ (the damned Democrats) as well as conservatives. Much as I would like to think the Democratic party is the pinacle of right and goodness (har hah haha cough snarflle, cough!!)
Excuse me for awhile, I laughed at my own joke so hard, I think something went down the wrong pipe.
Mike in NC
The irony here is that the people who won’t see that movie are mostly the same sort that the “Darwin Award” was named for.
The Grand Panjandrum
Any lovers of tatoos and body art? Images from Moscow body art expo. Probably NSFW.
gnomedad
@Brachiator:
That’s more or less what Scalzi wrote (see Comrade Mary‘s comment).
MK
@TX Expat:
That’s just too easy. I’m not one to advocate against filial piety but erm, if the guy was a Reagan fan, I would’ve mentioned Reagan praising the mujahideen aka “freedom fighters”. Or shown him the picture of Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam.
Ohhh, the irony.
General Winfield Stuck
@JK:
For the GOP base, I fully agree. But I think there are some along the moderate edges who will lighten up when the economy improves enough to start adding some decent jobs.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself/ Everyone should want to believe in Santa Claus, right?
arguingwithsignposts
@Corner Stone:
yeah, i grok what you’re getting at. but i also see the other side. pain is pain. it may have been momentary, but he still *loved*, right? i confess that i couldn’t have loved those folks.
Face
@Punchy: Im not so sure there’s intent as much as there’s brazen arrogance and a crappy decision making.
Never thought Kyle Orton would look so good.
bvac
I’ve tried the software at http://musicbrainz.org/ awhile ago but couldn’t figure it out worth a damn. My mp3s are so old that very few of them are tagged and many of them are poorly ripped.. I just want something that will analyze the audio like shazam and take care of the rest.
JK
@Napoleon:
James Joyner and other so-called “honest conservatives” have decided to go over to the Dark Side.
General Winfield Stuck
@JK:
Wrong quote. But you know what i mean.
Dracula
Why is Matt Forte not in the game? Is he injured?
JK
@General Winfield Stuck:
Was just about to mention that you mixed up my comment with Max.
Any way you look at, we’re screwed.
Linkmeister
Anybody remember the story of the softball players who carried their injured opponent around the bases a year or two ago?
A musician I’ve not heard of before has written a song about that event and put it on an all-baseball album. He’s interviewed here.
He’s apparently quite the dulcimer player, which makes him pretty much okay in my book. That’s an amazing instrument.
bernini
To err is human, but to be a teabagger is to be deny your humanity.
asiangrrlMN
@TX Expat: I’m sorry to hear this. It’s difficult because it’s so not about you and so much about him. However, you are the one receiving the brunt of his unresolved anger. If you can detach with love, that might help you. I know, easier said than done. If you don’t want to cut him off completely, try to deflect the political conversation (it’s religion in my family). Or, if you can stomach it, ask neutral questions to see what’s really bothering him. Otherwise, maybe something like, “Dad, I love you very much, but I am not going to let you talk to me that way.” Gently. I am sending strong positive vibes your way.
@arguingwithsignposts: Keep posting. Keep hanging in there.
Keith G
I imagine y’all have taken the time to read MoDo today. Very good and smile inducing
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/opinion/13dowd.html
The comments, which closed rather quickly due to the number, are rather heartening. Seems there are more than a few of us.
JK
From Gateway pundit
CLEAN Conservatives vs FILTHY Liberals– A Photographic Essay
After the 2 million strong conservative freedom rally on 9-12. And, here is the filth left for someone else to clean up after the Inauguration of Barack Obama. The democrats were obviously waiting for Big Government to clean up for them.
http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2009/09/clean-conservatives-filthy-liberals.html
Max
This is a goody…
Via American Thinker… They are trying to say that the 9/12 thing brought the biggest crowd ever to dc and even quote a park ranger dude. Problem is, the link to the quote is to an article that is about the inauguration.
How stupid are these people?
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2009/09/912_demonstration_a_record_dc.html
General Winfield Stuck
Alvin getting ready for winter
Little Libby lounging (and being too cute by eleventy hundred)
General Winfield Stuck
Again Alvin
asiangrrlMN
@arguingwithsignposts: But he was also the son of God or God in human form so love would be what he was all about, right? I mean, if he’s not a human.
@TX Expat: One more thing. I have come to grips with the fact that while I love my family and they love me, they will never really know me. My values and my life is so completely different than theirs, and they simply do not want to know about the real me. It took me a long time to accept this, but I have, and now, I can be more detached in my dealings with them.
General Winfield Stuck
@Max:
Too funny
arguingwithsignposts
@asiangrrlMN: that’s a good point. like i said, i don’t get the whole thing. But looking at your comment following, it seems like you get it more than i do.
Ppl never get us as much as we’d like. Do we stop loving them? No. We love them in spite of their shite.
MikeJ
Can somebody explain these two teabagger pics?
US Flag with a roman numeral 3:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3913587484/
and this?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/3913583690/
MK
@TX Expat:
Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. I apologize for my rather cheeky comment earlier. The only thing I can suggest is that perhaps some time and distance is needed to temper the emotions. I’ve seen other acquaintances and friends deal with similar issues (parent-child disagreements due to politics, career path, “lifestyle” choice, etc) and those two things finally gave way to mutual understanding and respect. It doesn’t always happen though, as others have mentioned. In one instance, it took a near tragic event for the family to put aside the bickering and just come together.
Hopefully, it’ll all work out one way or another.
General Winfield Stuck
@MikeJ:
Don’t know about the first one with first 13 states. Prolly some southerners that think it was about them.
The second is a new meme from birthers that since Obama doesn’t have a smallpox vac scar,, they allege, then he couldn’t have been born in Hawaii. But a lot of people didn;t form scars, and kids didn’t get them until at least one year old, or some nutty thing or another.
Linkmeister
@Nethead Jay: Have you tried those? I have multiple versions of the same song in my iTunes (Windows) library. I wonder how those programs handle that situation. If they’re smart enough to say “Duplicate name but different artist, so no action required,” then they’d be useful.
General Winfield Stuck
@General Winfield Stuck:
Obama should just say he took his on his schlong, and ask em if they want to look/see. Prolly shut em rightup.
JK
@MikeJ:
The teabaggers are dumber than dirt. I don’t know if there’s any point in trying to interpret their signs and paraphenalia.
Linkmeister
@General Winfield Stuck: Well, let’s not let logic intervene with these idiots, but my smallpox vaccination scar disappeared a long time ago. Granted I’m ten years older than the Prez, but I imagine his might have faded by now too.
jl
@MikeJ: Easy.
The three pillars of Zen.
Sadly misinformed Barry Manilow fans, looking for something a little up-close-and-personal from the star.
Skepticat
I’d like to travel more, but can’t stand to be away from the fabulous felines. They go most places with me if I can drive there, but we don’t do commercial airlines and too many of my friends have vicious allergies. Glad you’re home with Tunch and Lily. When do you buy tee-shirts for your parents that say “Let us get this straight–our grandchildren have paws?”?
Linkmeister
@Skepticat: Snort!
Brachiator
@gnomedad:
I didn’t see the link originally. But Scalzi fails to explore the controversy over the film (if there really is one) and deals more with the hard realities of film distribution, that it is hard for a period film with mid-list stars to get a distribution deal.
On the other hand, the film’s title, Creation, seems designed to get the wingnuts upset.
JK
ABC Denies It Ever Said Yesterday’s Protest Rally Had 1 Million People
h/t http://themoderatevoice.com/46112/abc-denies-it-ever-said-yesterdays-protest-rally-had-1-million-people
Demo Woman
They found a body believed to be Annie Le in a wall at the lab where she was last seen at Yale.
JK
@jl:
Zen and Barry Manilow mentioned in the same comment. This is surely an Internet first.
General Winfield Stuck
@Linkmeister:
Mine disappeared about ten years ago. Was kind of weird because first it got irritated and red for about a month, and then disappeared altogether. And I’m about your age, I think.
Asked the doc about it and he just shrugged and said dunno.
gnomedad
@IndyLib:
Actually, with all the crazy out there, I’m kinda surprised not to have seen this. Or am I wrong?
jl
@JK: ABC denied it was the source? Wow. That is very brave of them, sticking their necks out like that, about what some he say she say may be a factual matter (or maybe not). Hope they have the research chops to back that up with dueling political consultants to verify.
This may be a turning point.
asiangrrlMN
@The Grand Panjandrum: Thanks for the tattoo link–they were amazing.
@arguingwithsignposts: I’ve had a really long time to figure it out so don’t give me too much credit. They love me as much as they can. I can’t ask them to be what they are not. This time during my mom’s visit, she didn’t bring up me having kids (or not, as the case may be) even once. That’s really an accomplishment. She only mentioned me getting married once. I just keep trying to keep my cool and deflecting.
Comrade Mary
There might be, or there might not. Seriously, the buzz about this film in Toronto — not exactly Fundamentalist Central — has been tepid, at best. And the fact that the producers wrangled the opening night slot suggest that they are pretty damn effective at maximizing publicity.
This film already faced some challenges getting distributed, just due to its sedate nature. It may face some additional opposition from creationists. I’m waiting and seeing.
General Winfield Stuck
@jl:
Difficult to prove, but this is what very well could have happened, at least for the start of a DC rumor that wound up on Malkin’s front page.
Not the first time this sort of thing has happened.
JK
@jl:
Bill Maher put it nicely when he referred to Glenn Beck’s supporters as the Million Moron March.
asiangrrlMN
@Keith G: MoDo’s piece is good. The only thing I would quibble with is the part where she said that Obama did not grow up with racial hatred or hardship towards him. That’s bull. Other than that, she was surprisingly good.
linda
jim carroll died friday of a heart attack. damn.
JK
@linda:
RIP Jim Carroll
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQbzGOKb6xg
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
Have you read this Nicholas Kristof column?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/opinion/13kristof.html?_r=1
arguingwithsignposts
so someone say something to make me laugh. My mood is the same.
Donald G
@Linkmeister: My own vaccination scar has spread out and faded to such an extent that it is barely detectable unless you look real closely at it. I noticed a few years back that I could no longer see it when I’d catch a glimpse of my bare upper arm where it used to be very noticable. I’m five years younger than the president
Corner Stone
@arguingwithsignposts:
But I don’t know anymore. I’ve recently been forced to reevaluate “unconditional love”. Is it actually love at all?
For example, I love my child with no parameters, nothing could stand between us. Is that what love is? Or is it some kind of vestigial devotion/protection that we as a species can’t shed?
Same thing with Christ. He knew we were here to doubt Him, to be afraid of what He represented, yet he espoused his Love for us.
Can we ever really be separated from His Love? Free to be the people we were meant to be?
bernini
Seen on 9/12 wingnuttery signs in DC: “The Long Legged Mack Daddy” WTF does that mean? Is it some bygone generational thing? It sounds vaguely racist.
I was hoping that it referred to the end of days when Clancy Brown (he of Highlander film) appears pre-apocalypse and skull fucks Glenn Beck…?
bernini
Seen on 9/12 wingnuttery signs in DC: “The Long Legged Mack Daddy” WTF does that mean? Is it some bygone generational thing? It sounds vaguely racist.
I was hoping that it referred to the end of days when Clancy Brown (he of Highlander film) appears pre-apocalypse and skull f**ks Glenn Beck…?
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
This column is also worth reading
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/12/opinion/12blow.html
Comrade Darkness
@MikeJ: I’m going to take a stab and say it’s a call for a third continental congress. Run a google search since I don’t want to link to any of the freaks I found.
bernini
damn..tried to edit for the dogs PG-13 sensibilities…not fast enough
jl
Kristoff has a good column on health reform today. Here is a key passage:
“Mr. Reid’s book is a rich tour of health care around the world. Because he has a bum shoulder, he asked doctors in many countries to examine it and make recommendations. His American orthopedist recommended a titanium shoulder replacement that would cost tens of thousands of dollars and might or might not help. Specialists in other countries warned that a sore shoulder didn’t justify the risks of such major surgery, although some said it would be available free if Mr. Reid insisted. Instead, they offered physical therapy, acupuncture and other cheap and noninvasive alternatives, some of which worked pretty well.
That’s a window into the flaws in our health care system: we offer titanium shoulder replacements for those who don’t really need them, but we let 32-year-old women die if they lose their health insurance. No wonder we spend so much on medical care, and yet have some health care statistics that are worse than Slovenia’s.”
The Body Count at Home
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: September 12
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/opinion/13kristof.html?_r=1&ref=opinion
This T. R. Reid fellow has a new book called “The Healing of America.”
I heard T.R. Reid give an interview earlier today, and he seems to have really done his homework. I’m gonna run out and get his book.
I heard Reid’s interview at 4 PM this morning when I woke up and could not go back to sleep, so turned on the radio for awhile.
Why do more or less knda sorta halfway normal people like me have to wake up unexpectedely in the small hours of the morning to hear real, informed reporting on healthcare?
Because our media is as corrupt and putrid as three day roadkill in a Mojave heatwave, that is why.
I tend to sway to the moderate ‘sensible’ mushy middle side of things, economically, if left to my own devices.
The financial crisis, bailout, and now the fraud and deceit of the political establishment and media in the health reform have been three major radicalizations for me within one year. I have gotten bumped into cranky progressivism a few times before, but these recent jolts may put me out of whack, as opposed to the Serious People Village Idiot Broderlla school of thought permanently.
To the barricades!
JK
@arguingwithsignposts:
Try these for starters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB8VZT_UsE8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ9myHhpS9s
Max
@bernini: That reminds me of the “B-Rock, The Islamic Shock” thing.
Comrade Darkness
@bernini: Slang dictionary says a Mack Daddy is a successful pimp. Not very illuminating, I’ll admit.
GregB
But I am sure that the nitwit holding that sign would swear up and down that there is nothing racist about it.
Some crafty lefty should have down some street theater and held a mock debate with a table.
-G
Max
@arguingwithsignposts: This always makes me laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJlPEHL85Ig
GregB
Done…done…
jl
@JK: I just read Kristoff’s health care column and also hightly recommend it. I just wrote a commment on it which went into moderation, I guess because the blog can tell that I am cranky today.
I also think TR Reid’s book “The Healing of America.” (mentioned in Kristoff’s column) will be good, and I am going to buy it as soon as possible.
I heard Reid in an interview very early this morning and he seems to have done excellent research and really knows what he is talking about. I think an international view is very important in understanding health care, because it is very difficult to untangle the universal market forces operating versus the peculiar institutional features unique to a particular country without it.
Reid seems to have really done his homework.
Comrade Mary
@Donald G: I’m 6 months older than Obama and my vaccination scar went invisible ages ago, after being very visible for many years.
jl
My Comment on kristoff’s column just came out of moderation. Who does that anyway? I always thought it was Tunch. But maybe Lily is starting to work on it part time.
arguingwithsignposts
@Max:
there ought to be a law.
@JK:
also. thanks.
Keith G
@Max: Damn you, Max. You will pay for posting that link w/o a warning!
Brachiator
@Comrade Mary:
The film seems to be as much about Darwin’s personal life as it is about his discoveries. From some of the things I’ve read about the film, it’s as though they put Darwin’s life through the Jane Austenizer, to come up with the kind of tepid, tasteful stuff acceptable to NPR and PBS. This does not always make for good drama or an interesting film.
Creationists may get upset. God knows they always get upset about something. But it’s not as if there is a scarcity of material on Darwin, evolution and natural selection.
Still, apart from any supposed controversy, it is harder for serious mainstream films to get distribution deals. And the general financial markets mess has seriously rocked Hollywood’s ability to finance movies, making them even more cautious than ever.
Max
@Keith G:
:)
Comrade Darkness
@Brachiator: You’d think someone would jump on distributing one that would get all the free advertising from the controversy.
Max
I am never betting the Bears ever again.
JK
@jl:
I haven’t seen the interview, but T.R. Reid was on C-SPAN’s Q and A.
You can watch the program or read the transcript at
http://www.q-and-a.org
Thank God the wingnuts haven’t yet figured out how to kill PBS and C-SPAN.
Max
I hope that President Obama calls the owner of his beloved Chicago Bears tomorrow morning and tells them to dump Cutler.
What’s Jim McMahon doing these days?
arguingwithsignposts
Tomorrow morning i have to get up and pretend that I’m okay again.
I want to walk into traffic instead.
i’m not okay. and i don’t want to pretend.
Corner Stone
Can I just suggest that Cutler maybe hasn’t learned the Bears offense yet?
It’s either that or he has money on GB.
Comrade Darkness
@arguingwithsignposts: I always go with cakewrecks.blogspot.com when I need a belly laugh or 25.
I mean, really. Come to the dark side, we have cake. There are so many things wrong with this cake, the mind giggles helplessly to avoid listing them.
[And I’ll second the b vitamin suggestion from the other thread. My primary care doc wanted to send me to someone for depression for a b-12 deficiency. Hunt down the sub-lingual, which is more easily absorbed. It’s pretty common to find since people with stapled stomachs have to use it.]
Betsy
@TX Expat:
Hey, I’m a fellow TX expat myself. My relations with my dad haven’t deteriorated quite that much, but it’s come close a few times. I don’t know what will work for you, but this is what’s worked for me.
When I go to visit him, as silly as this sounds, I develop a mantra that I repeat to myself when he says things that piss me off. Anything from “calm. peace. compassion.” to “I can’t change him” or “I can’t change his mind.” I know this sounds kind of hippy-dippy, but it has worked wonders for me in the past when I’ve been tempted to engage with his specious (and often racist) arguments. It’s tough, because it can feel like by saying nothing you’re condoning such hatefulness. But if arguing won’t accomplish anything except more rancor, than it’s not worth it. It was also tough because I felt like he, as my father and someone I love, deserved my engagement. But on some things he just doesn’t. So, if I’m trapped in a car with him or something, I just stare out the window and let his words wear themselves out. Then I change the subject. (However, that’s when he’s ranting, not when he’s insulting me personally. For that, I think you have to walk away. Say, “I’m going now, dad,” and hang up the phone; or explain calmly that you won’t be talked to that way and leave the room. If he yells that he can say anything he wants, you can say “Yes, but I don’t have to listen.” Beyond that, don’t engage.
It’s also been helpful for me to try to see him objectively, as if he were the parent of a friend. It made me realize that underneath all his bluster, he is DESPERATELY lonely and trying to connect. And for some reason the only surefire way he knew how to establish some sort of emotional connection with me was to make me furious. So I try to respond to that need, rather than to the surface ugliness.
I also realized (after my stepsister pointed it out) that he has something of a drinking problem, and he usually only gets really mean when he’s had a couple beers/glasses of wine. In a way, that makes it easier for me to detach. The meanness becomes a symptom, not the problem that I have to fight or fix.
Finally, you can’t change him. He might be able to change himself, if he wants to. But it’s not your job. Even if it were, you wouldn’t be able to without his permission and cooperation. So let go of any feeling of obligation that way.
Sorry for writing a novel here. But I really relate, and I hope this is a little helpful.
Steeplejack
@Max:
Or this.
Man, I hate that song.
bernini
@Comrade Darkness appreciate the def.
Max
@Steeplejack: I did like the Justin Timberlake version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5qx-MVrXfk
That said, I’d kill for Beyonce’s body.
Corner Stone
@Steeplejack: I hate that fucking song.
Brachiator
@jl:
This is a lame either/or, falsely implying that titanium shoulder replacements is some kind of gold-plated service that we are indulging in to the detriment of the larger public. The two things really don’t have much to do with each other.
That said, Reid is really doing good work, and it just annoys me that more detailed analyses of various countries’ health care plans have not been part of the health care reform dialog since the earliest days of the Obama Administration.
By the way, Reid is honest and incisive in noting that even countries with good health care have some problems of ill usage. For example, in a Terry Gross Fresh Air interview, Reid noted that Japanese tend to stay in the hospital longer than appears warranted, compared to other countries, and go to the doctors more.
Britain’s NHS is plagued by people who make and fail to keep their medical appointments, and who can get away with it because there is no penalty for doing so. A recent BBC news story on French health care notes some abuses by the French.
A 2004 analysis of French health care noted its excellence, but also revealed some weaknesses, all of which contributes to rising costs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3419725.stm
By the way, from this last item, you can understand why Obama is firm on modernizing the way that medical records are kept, and how this might contribute to efficiency in the use of medical services.
mai naem
I can’t believe the smallpox vaccination scar bit and seriously how does one know that Obama doesn’t have a scar? Have they blown up multiple pictures of him shirtless and looked at every inch of his skin? Where the fuck do they come up with this? Furthermore, I got a smallpox shot and I don’t have a scar. These guys a million times nuttier than the wackiest of the Bush haters.
Corner Stone
@Max: The only question really is, who do I have to kill?
Max
@Corner Stone: Jay Cutler works for me.
Corner Stone
Hmmm.
Corner Stone
@Max: That was prescient considering what he just did.
Hat’s off to you.
Max
@Corner Stone: Well, now I’d like you to just kill me.
gnomedad
@arguingwithsignposts:
I hated pretending when I felt like shit. I wanted to slap “normal” people. Hang in there.
Meanwhile, here is one of my all-time faves. Couldn’t hurt:
Pachelbel Rant
Corner Stone
@Max: Are you hiding Beyonce somewhere? If so I think we can make a deal.
JK
@gnomedad:
Pachelbel’s Rant is Brilliant. Thanks so much for posting it.
Fulcanelli
@Max: I’ll be right back, I need to gouge my eyes out.
I don’t want to hear the story of how you found that one, do I? Didn’t think so.
Fulcanelli
@Ked: ,@John Cole. Also.
Been using Tune Up Companion with iTunes and it’s done a good job of keeping 36 Gig of MP3’s organized and labeled.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: Sigh. Very depressing (both, but especially Kristoff’s). I don’t understand why it isn’t self-evident that a country with morals and values doesn’t fucking let people die from conditions that are most likely treatable.
We suck.
SIA aka ScreamingInAtlanta
@General Winfield Stuck: Just looked at all the pics of Libby because she makes me smile. What a sweetie-pie. I LUV her.
Liked the Swan House photo also – one of my favorite buildings in the south. Your water drop photos are beautiful.
asiangrrlMN
@gnomedad: That’s MY fucking rant! I played the cello, and we played that song (Pachelbel Canon). Eight notes for the cello player. The lights went out during a recital, and we were the only ones who kept playing.
asiangrrlMN
@Corner Stone: I double-fucking hate that song. I refuse to listen to it.
BDeevDad
Cross-pollinating the Joe Wilson and Kanye West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxKIcrDsJAs
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
“We suck” – It’s the wingnuts that suck. It’s their world. We just have the misfortune of living in it. Stay strong and don’t let Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann grind you down. At least you have Al Franken and Amy Klobuchar.
Don’t lose your passion or enthusiasm.
asiangrrlMN
@gnomedad: I’m listening to Pachelbel’s Rant again because it was fucking brilliant. Thank you very much for that.
@arguingwithsignposts: Pretend less. It just makes me more depressed when I have to pretend that I’m not. I don’t mean to glower at everyone, but just be low-key.
burnspbesq
@arguingwithsignposts:
Will you settle for one of the funniest cartoons ever made?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZMTPGc0Z6A
JK
Canon – Pachelbel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOA-2hl1Vbc
Minuetto – Luigi Boccherini
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSE15tLBdso
SIA aka ScreamingInAtlanta
@arguingwithsignposts: Don’t want to be intrusive, but as someone who has dealt with depression a few times, the really rough kind where it’s painful to pretend that you’re even OK, just know that it does pass. The main thing is to stay alive, take care of the physical body as well as possible, and explore holistic, medical, and therapeutic option for help. Many of us are supporting you. One day at a time, mon ami.
General Winfield Stuck
@SIA aka ScreamingInAtlanta:
Glad you like Libby but don’t want you thinking she’s my dog. She belongs to a flickr friend who lives in Georgia. Libby stole my heart and I thought I’d share her with the kritter lovers on BJ. :)
I photograph Hummingbirds and this is my photostream.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: And Keith Ellison and Betty McCollum (she’s my rep). Thanks for the bolstering words, but sometimes, this politics thing just kicks my flat ass!
Corner Stone
Matt Schaub just looks like a sidekick in one of those stoner movies.
Corner Stone
@asiangrrlMN: No, no. If you like it you should’ve put a ring on it. If you like it you should’ve put a ring on it. If you like it you should’ve put a ring on it.
General Winfield Stuck
@JK:
earlier this year I had bookmarked a website that had about 50 renditions of Canon with all different types of instruments, but lost the site when my computer died. Will keep searching for it and post when found.
SIA aka ScreamingInAtlanta
@General Winfield Stuck: Those are incredible. I especially like this one: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oxpecker/3869064088/
General Winfield Stuck
@SIA aka ScreamingInAtlanta:
Thanks!
JK
J.S. Bach – Goldberg Variations: Aria – Glenn Gould
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCuALWK6ZNg
The Modern Jazz Quartet with Paul Desmond- Greensleeves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWOxJfE4mqY
asiangrrlMN
@Corner Stone: I will kill you now. I will stab you with a stabby pointy thing in the general area where your heart would be if you had one. I will cut you! Aaaaargh!
I have to play this instead:
Single Ladies Spoof (Obama)
BDeevDad
@General Winfield Stuck: Did you mean this http://www.mycanonind.com/
JK
@General Winfield Stuck: @asiangrrlMN:
GWS – I look forward to seeing alink with differenet versions of Pachelbel’s cannon. In recent weeks, JC has put up 2 posts requesting clips of music from the 1980’s. I’d like to see him put up a post requesting clips of music from 1725 – 1837.
asiangrrlMN – I know you didn’t care for Sentimental walk, but the movie Diva is great and I’d strongly recommend watching it. Politics is especially depressing because the thumbsuckers, nailbiters, and bedwetters in the Wash Press Corps are unwilling to call out the Republicans for all the nonsense that they keep talking.
General Winfield Stuck
@BDeevDad:
Nope, it was another one, an individual person who had them on their website;.; But your link looks just as good and I;ve bookmarked it . Gracias Amigo!
Gina
@TX Expat:
Whoa! My dad’s a Becktard. I can relate, but unfortunately, I have no answers beyond “10 foot pole” and “only engage in conversations where there’s solid common ground”. It helps that they’re in WY and I am in NY, but Facebook is getting tricky.
Steeplejack
@Max:
Funny. But thanks for giving me a few new reasons for hating that song.
Corner Stone
@JK: Greensleeves was one of my fav tunes growing up. This jazz version is an abomination against it.
But that may be just me.
asiangrrlMN
@JK: It’s not that I didn’t care for it–it just missed being great by thismuch. I dunno why.
Do you mean this Diva?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082269/
Steeplejack
@Corner Stone:
Then I’m guessing you won’t like the 10-minute Coltrane version.
JK, enjoy.
asiangrrlMN
@Max: I had to fucking do it. I had to click on your link. Now, I must commit seppuku.
Steeplejack
@asiangrrlMN:
Yeah, he means that movie. It’s pretty good. I have it saved on the DVR from when it was on cable a few months ago. Haven’t looked at it in years. So maybe I mean it was pretty good the last time I looked at it.
steve s
http://lookatthisfuckingteabagger.tumblr.com/post/186571135
JK
@Corner Stone:
Some people don’t care for the way some jazz musicians interpret classical music.
One of the things that makes life interesting is how people can listen to the same music, watch the same movie, or read the same novel and have diametrically opposed reactions.
Corner Stone
@Steeplejack: The world will never know.
Gina
@General Winfield Stuck: Libby is giving me a CUTE overload! OMG. She’s adorable.
Steeplejack
@Corner Stone, @JK:
Shorter JK: It’s okay if you don’t dig the vibe, daddy-o.
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
Yes, that’s the Diva I meant. Wow 1981. I still remember Stewart Klein’s review on the old 10 o’clock news on Channel 5 when it came out. I had forgotten it was released in 1981. Now, I’m starting to feel old.
Corner Stone
@JK: Some people say there is no proof of climate change…Some people say muslim peoples can’t govern themselves…Some people say things about jazz…
JK
@Steeplejack: @Steeplejack:
Many thanks for anything by John Coltrane. Glad to see someone else out there who liked Diva. Another thread this blog needs – favorite foreign language films
JK
@Corner Stone:
I committed a cardinal sin of saying “SOME PEOPLE”. Yes, I do hate it when members of the MSM use it. I made a mistake, which I’m sure has never happened to you. You’re the Mr Spock of Balloon Juice readers aren’t you?
My response to you for pointing out this error is
WELL EXCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSE ME
h/t Steve Martin
JK
@asiangrrlMN:
I forgot to mention that Diva is in French. Do you mind foreign language films? I’ve seen it in French and I’ve seen it dubbed into English. I preferred the original version in French.
moe99
How does someone get the word to digby that her site is inaccessible due to a fucking HP ad that will NOT go away. Damn them.
Linkmeister
@gnomedad: Oh, my. I really enjoyed Pachelbel Rant. Thanks.
JK
@Corner Stone:
Are there any other words, phrases, or expressions that offend your sensibility? Perhaps, you’d like to create a list for the benefit of other Balloon Juice readers.
John Cole could then impose a Balloon Juice Three Strikes Rule.
Anyone who posts 3 comments using the phrase “some people” along with other words, phrases, or expressions that you Corner Stone have deemed to be forbidden would have to appear before a death panel presided over by Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and yourself. Would that make you happy?
asiangrrlMN
@JK: I like foreign movies with subtitles. They make me feel all smart and shit.
Well, my fellow BJers, it’s time for me to turn in. See ya all in a few hours! Behave….
Brachiator
@Comrade Darkness:
The Cynic’s Fallacy is that controversy is good, and that there is no such thing as bad publicity. But this rarely really works. People want to know if a movie is fun, any good, entertaining, or whatever value they place on something that they will spend money on.
Controversy has no value. You might drive by a car wreck, but you generally would not pay to do so. This is the kind of stuff that you get for free on the InterTubes.
General Winfield Stuck
While our periodically appearing trolls such as Phil and others, even Charlie Cook and Sabato etc…., are telling us that wingnuts are poised for a comeback in 2010, even to the point of maybe retaking, they should check out this current poll number.
Democrats 48%
Republicans 28%
All dems have to do is run one ad after another with George W. Bush’s mug on it/
JK
@General Winfield Stuck:
I’m sick to death of Charlie Cook being treated like God every time he’s interviewed by Chris Matthews, Charlie Rose et al. Charlie Cook puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us.
Brachiator
@Corner Stone:
Yeah, it’s just you.
Meanwhile, here’s Vaughan Williams – “Fantasia on Greensleeves”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKhtoUPU9pw&feature=related
JK
@Brachiator:
I wish I could live long enough to see advertisers and audiences pull away from Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh because they had reached the conclusion that they were controversial but had absolutely nothing interesting or important to say about anything.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: I have, in no uncertain terms, informed my brother that Pachebel’s Canon is to come NOWHERE NEAR his wedding in two weeks. Otherwise there will be hostility.
Brachiator
@Yutsano:
I understand that Chris Brown is the new thing for wedding music.
JK Wedding Entrance Dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0
Linkmeister
@Brachiator: Have you seen the divorce parody to the same music?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbr2ao86ww0
Brachiator
@Linkmeister:
Very funny stuff.
JK
@Linkmeister:
Brilliant
Brachiator
@JK:
Sadly, Limbaugh and company speak to their audiences’ fears, prejudices, and delusions. This unfortunately means that they rightwing media goons will be around for awhile.
drillfork
@arguingwithsignposts:
Do you get enough exercise? Seriously, find something physical that you enjoy doing. I noticed when I played racquetball that a hard game would transform my entire outlook…
arguingwithsignposts
not this weekend. mostly sat in bed.
Jay in Oregon
@arguingwithsignposts:
I’m writing this from a friend’s couch at 5 in the morning after being awake for the last 45 minutes.
I found evidence that my wife is planning to have an affair with an online friend. My wife has denied it to me three times, even though I know she is telling this guy something different.
I had to get out of the house to figure out how to deal with it. Of course I’m the bad guy, because I left without saying a word.
Even with my marriage teetering on the knife’s edge, I’m still holding onto hope that I can save it somehow. I love my wife and I still want to spend the rest of my life with her. I still want all of the things that we dreamed about together.
Please do not give up.
gnomedad
@asiangrrlMN:
lolz, that’s great! Thanks for the report.
Morbo
So Sully was arrested in July for pot possession at Cape Cod? How did I only just find out about this?
arguingwithsignposts
@Jay in Oregon: ‘
this is hard.
jibeaux
I’d just like to take this opportunity to howl impotently with rage at the WaPo.
The gap in passion, which had shown greater intensity among opponents of the plan, has also begun to close, with supporters increasingly energized and more now seeing reform as possible without people being forced to give up their current coverage.
WHERE WAS THE PLAN WHERE PEOPLE WERE “FORCED TO GIVE UP THEIR CURRENT COVERAGE”, would that be from the plan that until very recently resided only in the WaPo’s collective ass?
asiangrrlMN
@Linkmeister: @Linkmeister: Mmmm, not as good, in my humble opinion. What I like about the original (besides the fact that the couple is from MN) is how unrehearsed it was. I love the original!
@Yutsano: Yes. I could see how that would engender feelings of rage–did you play the cello, by any chance?
@gnomedad: Yeah, it was hilarious. Everyone else stopped playing, and we cellos serenely kept playing our eight notes.
AhabTRuler
@Morbo: Oh, that news has been around, and was trolled in a thread or two with no bites. While the details may or may not make Sullivan even more of a hypocrite, I consider it to be his private business and mere gossip mongering.
However, I must add that I don’t place a great deal of stock in Sullivan’s blog to begin with. For those who follow him more closely, it could very well be a legitimate concern.
asiangrrlMN
Damn stupid moderation.
@Linkmeister: Mmmm, not as good, in my humble opinion. What I like about the original (besides the fact that the couple is from MN) is how unrehearsed it was. I love the original!
@Yutsano: Yes. I could see how that would engender feelings of rage–did you play the cello, by any chance?
@gnomedad: Yeah, it was hilarious. Everyone else stopped playing, and we cellos serenely kept playing our eight notes.
arguingwithsignposts
i’m here, but i don’t know why. i hate myself. i love the bj community.
PeakVT
Animals with lightsabers. ‘Nuff said.
asiangrrlMN
@AhabTRuler: Good to see ya! How the hell have you been?
@arguingwithsignposts: Do try to exercise, even if it’s pacing your living room while watching the game. And, I swear by tai chi, I really do.
@Jay in Oregon: This is gonna be difficult to hear, but it sounds like to me your wife has already checked out of your marriage. I think, right now, as you are emerging from your depression, you should focus on you. I’m so sorry.
Svensker
@arguingwithsignposts:
This is hard
Are you seeing a therapist? You really need to get some help here so that if you do indeed give up, someone else is there to not give up on you.
This is not your fault. You have a brain disability that needs medication, just as other people have diabetes and need insulin. In addition to the medication, you also need cognitive therapy to help yourself get through the rough periods and train your brain into different channels. It is a PHYSICAL problem that manifests itself in your mental and emotional state.
There are some physical things (outside of therapy and medication) that you can do that will help your body feel better right now. Pretend you are the caretaker of your own body — that it is ill and needs nursing (which it does!). Get your body out of bed. Feed that suffering body its favorite breakfast. Wash that body. Take that body for some exercise and fresh air. Now that you feel a little better for having been such a nurturing caretaker of that body, find a small task that you yourself need to do and do it. Make one of those tasks finding and calling a therapist.
We’re all pulling for you here.
asiangrrlMN
@arguingwithsignposts: Keep posting. For realz. Can you think of anything you like about yourself? Anything at all?
How about this? I like your passion, your intelligence, and your songwriting skills. You are obviously a caring person, and kindhearted. Those count for something, too.
Do you have another therapy appointment?
jacksmith
Why A Strong Public Option Is Essential – By jacksmith — Working Class
Robert Reich explains the pubic option: http://bit.ly/dDYSJ http://robertreich.blogspot.com/
John Garamendi on the Public Option and the Grassroots: http://bit.ly/TJMty
It’s not just because more than two thirds of the American people want a single payer health care system. And if they cant have a single payer system 77% of all Americans want a strong government-run public option on day one (86% of democrats, 75% of independents, and 72% republicans). Basically everyone.
It’s not just because according to a new AARP POLL: 86 percent of seniors want universal healthcare security for All, including 93% of Democrats, 87% of Independents, and 78% of Republicans. With 79% of seniors supporting creating a new strong Government-run public option plan, available immediately. Including 89% of Democrats, 80% of Independents, and 61% of Republicans, STUNNING!!
It’s not just because it will lower cost. Because a strong public option will dramatically lower cost for everyone. And dramatically improved the quality of care everyone receives in America and around the World. Rich, middle class, and poor a like.
It’s not just because it will save trillions of dollars and prevent the needless deaths of millions more of YOU, caused by a rush to profit by the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!
It’s not just because every expert in every field, including economist, and Nobel laureates all agree that free market based healthcare systems don’t work. Never have and never will. The US has the only truly free market based healthcare system in the World. And as you all know now, IT IS A DISASTER!
It’s not just because providing or denying medically necessary care for profit motivations is wrong. Because it is WRONG! It’s professionally, ethically, and morally REPUGNANT!, Animalistic, VILE and EVIL.
THE REASON THE PUBLIC OPTION IS ESSENTIAL:
The public option is ESSENTIAL because over 200 million of you are trapped in the forest of the wolves. Which is the forest of the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX! With no way out except through needless inhumane suffering, and DEATH. While the wolves tear at your flesh, and rip you limb from lib. Then feast on your lifeless bodies like a dead carcase for transplant parts.
At the most vulnerable times of your lives (when you were sick and hurting), millions of you have had to fight and loose cruel, but heroic battles. Fighting against the big guns of the DISGRACEFUL, GREED DRIVEN, PRIVATE FOR PROFIT MEDICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX! in the forest of the wolves. All because you have no place else to go. You have no other CHOICE!
But the PUBLIC OPTION will give you someplace safe to go. And it will give us someplace safe to take you. The public option will be your refugium (your refuge). Where the wolves cannot get at you when your down, hurting, and vulnerable. Where everyone who needs it can find rest, security, comfort and the care they need. Protected by the BIG GUNS of We The People Of The United States. THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE AND COUNTRY ON EARTH.
This is why it is so critical that we do not lead another 50 million vulnerable, uninsured Americans into the forest of the wolves, without the protections of a Strong Government-run public option. We The People Of The United States MUST NOT LET THAT HAPPEN to any more of our fellow Americans. If healthcare reform does not contain a strong public option on day one. YOU MUST! KILL IT. Or you will do far more harm than good. And millions more will die needlessly. Rich, middle class, and poor a like.
To those who would continue to obstruct good and true healthcare reform for the American people, and who seek to trap millions more vulnerable Americans in the forest of the wolves. We will continue to fight you. We are prepared to wage all out war against you, and will eagerly DESTROY! you. Time…is…UP! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! No Co-op’s! No Triggers! NO INDIVIDUAL MANDATES! without a Strong public option on day one.
Healthcare reform can be the GREATEST! Accomplishment of our time and century. A time when future generations may say of us, that we were all, AMERICAS GREATEST GENERATIONS.
BUT WE MUST ACT!
I therefore call on all my fellow Americans and the peoples of the World. To join us in this fight so that we may finish becoming the better America that we aspire to be for everyone.
SPREAD THE WORD!
I have been privileged to be witness as many of you fought, and struggled to take your first breath, and your last breath on this earth. Rich, middle class, and poor a like. Life is precious.
Whatever the cost. WE! MUST SUCCEED.
God Bless You My Fellow Human Beings
jacksmith — Working Class
No Triggers! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-rosenbaum/a-trigger-for-the-public_b_277910.html
Triggers http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-sirota/weve-seen-these-triggers_b_283583.html
Krugman on heathcare (http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/25/why-markets-cant-cure-healthcare/)
Senator Bernie Sanders on healthcare (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSM8t_cLZgk&feature=player_embedded)
arguingwithsignposts
@asiangrrlMN:
not at the moment. i’m just crying.
asiangrrlMN
Um, my last post should have read, “You are obviously a caring person and kindhearted, too.”
Where is the edit function, Cole?????
Svensker
For signposts (although this might make you cry in a different way):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvPugOWeZiA
asiangrrlMN
@arguingwithsignposts:
If you are in so much agony, please call someone. A friend, your therapist, or the suicide hotline.
http://suicidehotlines.com/
1-800-SUICIDE.
They list the hotlines state by state as well. Svensker is right in that you need to see a doctor. Right now, though, if you can, get up and go outside. Just stand outside for a few minutes.
And, of course, keep posting.
asiangrrlMN
@Svensker: And after praising you for your advice to arguing, all I can say after listening to a minute of that clip is: bite me.
Svensker
@asiangrrlMN:
You have to get to the end of the video — the last 20 seconds are the gold.
asiangrrlMN
@Svensker: If I saw you right now, I would punch you in the neck. You are a cruel, cruel person for forcing me (ok, you didn’t force) to watch the end of that monstrosity. I know what my nightmares are going to be filled with tonight.
Corner Stone
@JK:
Well…now that you mention it…
Corner Stone
@JK: It was a riff off my personal feeling about jazz. Nothing personal, just late night humor.
And no, I believe the role of Mr. Spock of BJ is what Brachiator is shooting for.
Corner Stone
@Jay in Oregon:
And if it’s not him it will be with the next one, or the one after that. She may agree to reconcile whatever it is that caused her to seek out attention somewhere else, but it will be temporary. She will continue until she gets whatever it is she needs, and that has nothing to do with you. Unless you really are the bad guy – you’re not the problem here.
I would suggest you start mapping out a plan to best protect yourself. Start taking a portion of your income in cash, and stash a little emergency fund at your relative’s house or the house of someone that’s “your” friend and not a couples friend. I’m not talking about dumping assets and stealing money that’s due her, just saying a couple thousand outside the house in case you get locked out unexpectedly. Take a look at whatever shared assets you have and decide what it is you really want, what she will really want, and what you’re happy to trade away to keep the things you need. List out all your common debts and obligations so you have a clear understanding.
Then go to an attorney with this info so they can help you with a detailed plan. If you have a child or children the first question you should ask a potential attorney is, “How do you feel about a father getting custody?” It doesn’t matter if that’s the result you want or not, their answer will tell you if they can help you fairly resolve the rest of it. No matter how amicable the ultimate resolution may be – this will be the best investment you can make.
Not being a jackass here, just offering up some perspective. If you want to be with her then work together on that. But don’t leave yourself wide open either. You’re not cheating the process if you look out for yourself too. Commitment works both ways. Self respect and regard for what you need and want should be part of the reconcile.
Sometimes people change their dreams. It probably doesn’t have anything to do with you at this point.
Brachiator
@arguingwithsignposts:
I can only add my thoughts of concern.
Don’t give up. Seek help. You have written, “this is hard,” but it also sounds like you are still trying.
good luck to you
Jay in Oregon
@Corner Stone:
Honestly, I bear a fair amount of the blame for what is going on right now.
She wants to be a mom, and we haven’t been able to have kids yet. We’ve talked about adoption, and there have been good reasons not to pursue it at the time. But her siblings are having kids, our friends are having kids, and her clock is definitely ticking.
I have had the attitude of “it’ll happen when it happens” but with each new potential cousin being born — her youngest sister is engaged now, which means at some point my wife will be the only sibling without kids — she is getting more and more desperate.
The guy is a single dad, and I presume is tempting her with the idea of being an instant family. She knows it’s wrong — her beliefs tell her that it’s wrong — when is why I think she hasn’t actually left yet.
Jay in Oregon
@arguingwithsignposts:
I don’t know you and I won’t pretend that my pain compares anything to yours, but I want to see you get through this.
Please keep getting out of bed every day.
Please get out and feel the sun on your face.
Please speak to someone.
licensed to kill time
@Svensker:
That was so bad. Boris Badenov and his Natasha Fatale’s, fearlessly leading the utter destruction of Let It Be. I am in awe.
licensed to kill time
@arguingwithsignposts:
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. It sucks to have to pretend that you’re ok when you just want to scream in pain. Punch a punching bag to hell. Play some angry music really loud and scream at the top of your lungs. Run as far as you can and then run some more. Get MAD at the black dog!
bedtimeforbonzo
“My poor dog. I forgot how scared he gets during football season when I yell at the tv.”
Max: This must be a common thing. I’ve experienced it with four out of my last five dogs.
I guess, from a dog’s perspective, yelling at the TV in at once happy and angry tones must seem odd. (I’ve always made a point to give them a treat when one of my fantasy guys score so they don’t seem left out.)
—
I find all of the Cutler hate amusing. Green Bay’s defense looks great this season — Dom Caper’s one of the best defensive coordinators in history — and it looked like he was trying to do too much in his debut. I think he’ll be fine.
The worst quarterback in the NFL has to be the pathetic Jake Delhomme, who made my Eagles look like the Steel Curtain.
bedtimeforbonzo
Jay in Oregon: Definitely take asiangrrl’s advice and focus on yourself first. And as trite as it may seem, taking it one day at a time is the only way to go.
Jay in Oregon
@asiangrrlMN:
I don’t want that to be the truth, but she doesn’t seem to have any remorse for what we are going through.
She is totally centered on her pain. Pain of not having her life go the way it was supposed to go. Pain at my checking out of our marriage. The pain I’m causing her now by rushing around reacting to everything.
I do not want this guy coming out to see her. But I’m stuck — if I relent, I give her the opportunity to consummate this relationship. If I stand firm, she treats it as yet another instance of me hurting her.
I want to give her a few days by herself, and hopefully I can get a good night’s sleep as well. Do I love her enough to give her a chance to hurt me?