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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Thursday Afternoon Open Thread

Thursday Afternoon Open Thread

by Betty Cracker|  August 28, 20142:00 pm| 167 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sports

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It’s almost here! It’s almost here! Englishman Stephen Fry’s impression of American college football:

Of the spectacle (not necessarily the game), Fry says:

“I really don’t know if anything sums up America better. It’s simultaneously preposterous, incredibly laughable, impressive, charming, ridiculous, expensive, overpopulated, wonderful…America.”

H/T: Valued commenter (and faithful Jawja Dawg) Raven.

PS: GO GATORS!

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Reader Interactions

167Comments

  1. 1.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Had he been talking about the game, he’d have had to add “dangerous.”

  2. 2.

    Bostondreams

    August 28, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Yay. Go Gators! Another 4-8 season is only a small possibility! I hope.

    God, I hate that the clown college won.

  3. 3.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    I love the look on his face after the fly over.

    As per tradition, I am rooting for chaos and holding out hope that either San Diego State or Boise State runs the table and gets into the playoffs.

  4. 4.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    @Bostondreams: I think we’ll be better this year. The O-line is still a weak link and Driskel is an open question (I’m willing to keep an open mind, anyway). But we returned a lot of defensive starters, and the defense was the only bright spot last season. Nowhere to go but up, right?

  5. 5.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    @Betty Cracker: looking at the Gators’ schedule, y’all should have five wins – Idaho, Eastern Michigan, Kentucky, and Eastern Kentucky all at home and Vanderbuilt on the road (because Vanderbuilt). Otherwise, ouch.

  6. 6.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    @KG: It’s the toughest schedule in college football. And Vandy plays the Gators tough even when we’re good!

  7. 7.

    Josie

    August 28, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    I am so anxious to see if the Longhorns do any better this year under our new Coach Strong. I am also pissed because the first game is on the stupid Longhorn Network and I won’t get to watch it, since I have Directv. Oh, well, life’s little disappointments (first world problems).

  8. 8.

    geg6

    August 28, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Can’t understand the love for college football. I find it much less entertaining than pro, maybe because I have seen painfully close up how awful the whole system is. I haven’t watched college ball in years and don’t plan to any time soon. When the NCAA is abolished, I might consider watching again. These people have even turned me off college basketball, an infinitely more entertaining spectacle than college football. But I’ve pretty much turned against all college sports. I take that back. Just all college sports that serve the same function that the minor leagues do for baseball. If the NFL and NBA want farm teams, they should be paying for them. Not parents and not tax payers.

    I am, however, ready for the NFL preseason to be finally over. And really ready for hockey season to start.

  9. 9.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    @geg6: I’d rather sort a boxcar of dryer lint than watch hockey. Vive la différence, I guess.

  10. 10.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    @Josie: I’m still bitter that the stupid Gators AD let Strong get away. I wish him all the best. He’s a helluva coach. But it’ll probably take a year or two to whip the team into shape.

  11. 11.

    Botsplainer

    August 28, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    My Louisville Cards are going to be awesome with the return of offensive master Bobby Petrino and a kick ass ACC schedule.

  12. 12.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    @Cervantes:

    Had he been talking about the game, he’d have had to add “dangerous.”

    I think you could probably add that for the tailgating.

  13. 13.

    Josie

    August 28, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    @Betty Cracker: I figure at least two years. He is having to weed out the problem children, so we will be thin at some positions. He obviously thinks having people who are all in is more important at this point. I have been very impressed with the changes he is making. I hope the powers that be give him plenty of time to prove himself.

  14. 14.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    @geg6: I tend to enjoy college football more because there’s a wide variety of systems and philosophy. The NFL, while much better athletes all around, is a bit more boring to me because everyone pretty much does the same thing.

    ETA: college baseball does kinda serve as a minor league for MLB. not as explicitly as the NFL and NBA (which has the D-League now at least) but it does. i mean, if i had to choose between, say Long Beach State, UCLA, or ASU or playing minor league baseball in a bus league… i’d probably go the college route.

  15. 15.

    Tom Levenson

    August 28, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Fight Fiercely Harvard. I’ll be going to my once-every-two-year visit to a college football stadium to see “The Game” this fall. Excuse to hang w. middle aged former room mates and then eat large amounts of beef after the (genuinely) amateur sport has let us go.

    Other than that, I have my childhood team: the University of California Golden Bears. About whom expectations are permanently and justifiably low.

    Doesn’t matter — I’m trying to quit football altogether, given the damage it does to the young men who play it. Haven’t gone completely football-free, but I’m watching much, much less than I was, and pushing that tally ever closer to zero.

  16. 16.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    The Fighting Fashion Nightmares of Phil Knight University (INC) should be terrorizing the entire Pac 12 this year, yet again, while desperately trying to avoid getting pantsed by Stanford, Cal, Utah, or the U of Dub.

    The eternal danger of reading their damn local fishwrap press clippings always endangers whatever chance they may have to advance to the virgin playoff system that replaces the BCS this year.

    We shall see.

    BTW, Fry’s take is refreshing, he’s obviously having a very good time just wallowing in the utter silliness of the whole thing. His summation with adjectives is wonderful, and captures the absurdity of it all brilliantly.

  17. 17.

    The Dangerman

    August 28, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Obligatory UCLA shoutout here; as long as their QB stays healthy, they could be really, REALLY good.

    Also, early shoutout to Yats: I can’t believe the fucking Mariners are making a run for the playoffs (next thing that you’ll tell me is the Royals are the hottest team in baseball; inconceivable!). Damn, that would be fun if it were Mariners and one of either the Angels and A’s in a one game for all the marbles situation.

    ETA: …and the Angels are terrified about that possibility (see Felix, KIng).

  18. 18.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    @Tom Levenson:

    Other than that, I have my childhood team: the University of California Golden Bears. About whom expectations are permanently and justifiably low.

    At least they haven’t dropped the team as a result of perpetual futility, the way my alma mater did. Their only winless season was a result of having to forfeit games for ineligible players, so they don’t rate particularly high on the pathetic scale.

  19. 19.

    tesslibrarian

    August 28, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    @Botsplainer: You’ll do fine so long as your D never has to defend on 3rd and long, or as it was called down here, 3rd and Grantham. It became a euphemism for first downs.

    I love the Stephen Fry clip, even as a Dawg. And cannot wait to take on Clemson Saturday night. I wish we played them more often.

    Florida will definitely improve this year–for the same reason Georgia will, I hope: far, far fewer injuries. Good luck to you, Betty! (except for Nov. 1)

  20. 20.

    geg6

    August 28, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    Well, even when I watched or, as an undergrad, went to a college ballgame, it just wasn’t nearly good enough to spend much time on compared to the NFL, IMHO. I just don’t get the rabid love for it. Hell, I went to high school with Tony Dorsett and college with Dan Marino (and just after Dorsett graduated) and I preferred watching the NFL then, too. I find it far inferior, much as I find AAA ball inferior to MLB. And now that I’ve worked for a major university and have seen the corruption (of the schools and the players themselves) that a major football program inevitably produces, I not only find the level of play inferior, I find the whole exercise immoral. I would really like to see the NFL and NBA have to fund their own minor leagues.

  21. 21.

    D58826

    August 28, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    OT BUT according to Butters

    Reports that 140 Americans are currently fighting for ISIS in Syria and Iraq are nothing compared to the number that will be involved if the terrorist group isn’t stopped, says Sen. Lindsey Graham.

    “If this war continues and ISIS continues to win and is seen as a conquering jihadist hero in the eyes of these disturbed people throughout the world, it’s going to be 1,400,” Graham said Wednesday on Fox News Channel’s “On the Record with Greta Van Susteren”

    And drumroll please its all Obama’s fault.

  22. 22.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    I love football, college and professional. The Terrapins and VA Tech are the nearest teams with a shot at anything but Saturday afternoon oblivion.

    Admittedly, I figure being True to Yer School is more important than anything else (unless you went to Vandy or Duke).

  23. 23.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    @The Dangerman: I recall when that happened in the late 90’s…the Angels had something like a 10 game lead at this point in the season over the Mariners and somehow they managed to piss it all away and it came down to a one game playoff, which the Mariners won.

    This isn’t 2001 but it’s great for the Mariners to be in the hunt.

  24. 24.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    @D58826: If ISIS hunts down and gives Huckleberry a night he’ll never forget, it might be worth the risk.

  25. 25.

    geg6

    August 28, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    @KG:

    ETA: college baseball does kinda serve as a minor league for MLB. not as explicitly as the NFL and NBA (which has the D-League now at least) but it does. i mean, if i had to choose between, say Long Beach State, UCLA, or ASU or playing minor league baseball in a bus league… i’d probably go the college route.

    In so minor a way as to not really be the minor leagues for MLB. How many college players go straight to the big show from college? Bueller? Bueller?

  26. 26.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    CBS Sports has stocked up on geniuses. Example the first, their 2015 Superbowl(tm) predictions:

    Broncos defeat Packers
    49ers defeat Patriots
    Patriots defeat Packers
    Broncos defeat Saints
    Saints defeat Steelers (WTF?!?)
    Broncos defeat Saints
    Packers defeat Patriots

    Besides being fifty pounds of stupid in a twenty-pound box, notice anybody missing, such as the one team the other 31 are all scared of?

  27. 27.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    I can understand why Stephen Fry finds it all so over-the-top. In association proper football, only the World Cup final gets anywhere near this much hoopla.

  28. 28.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    @Trollhattan: ROFL.

    Yes, I think that’s wishful thinking because the team everyone else is scared of is not in one of the major markets, and these whores are about the ratings, period.

  29. 29.

    Tom Levenson

    August 28, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I once filmed at an SEC championship game — Florida v. Alabama at the Georgia Dome (in Atlanta).

    The Dome’s GM told me that it was the biggest sporting event they hold there, except for a Super Bowl — and the gap between the two wasn’t huge.

    It was pretty damn crazy. (As was attempting to making moving pictures of an American football game w. a 16mm cine camera. It was the only one in the building, and the video guys came by our table in the media dining room to gawk at the antique.)

  30. 30.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    I can understand why Stephen Fry finds it all so over-the-top. In association football, only the World Cup final gets anywhere near this much hoopla.

    Hey! This is what US Americans (and such as) choose to watch and attend. Complete with theme songs and way too many commercials. As well, copious amounts of violence (and that’s just in the stands at Philadelphia’s home games).

  31. 31.

    BethanyAnne

    August 28, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Go Gators!

    And take the Dolphins with you!

    /snicker

  32. 32.

    Gus

    August 28, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Was he a little choked up by the singing of “God Bless America?”

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    @Tone In DC: This reminds me of the time I was on temporary duty in Germany in 1986 from Fort Lewis, WA, and we saw something on the German TV sports segment about a fight that broke out in a hockey game in Seattle. Several of us had been at a hockey game in Seattle just before we left for Germany, so we were naturally very interested in this.

    The thing that was newsworthy was that the fight broke out between the visiting team (Tri-Cities, which is based in Eastern Washington) and the Seattle team’s fans, in the stands!

  34. 34.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    @Tone In DC:

    unless you went to Vandy or Duke

    When Vandy has a 10-win season and makes back-to-back bowl games, you can resume lumping them together with the champions of the ACC Coastal Division.

  35. 35.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    @KG:

    ETA: college baseball does kinda serve as a minor league for MLB. not as explicitly as the NFL and NBA (which has the D-League now at least) but it does. i mean, if i had to choose between, say Long Beach State, UCLA, or ASU or playing minor league baseball in a bus league… i’d probably go the college route.

    Playing college baseball is most frequently used as a negotiating tactic by players who didn’t get drafted as high as they think they should have, and by some players who probably aren’t good enough to make it to the majors by the time they’d normally graduate from college anyway. Players who are obviously good enough to reach the majors before they turn 22 will usually sign out of high school. Put another way, MLB would not shed a tear if all the college baseball programs were cancelled tomorrow. MLB would actually benefit slightly, since players wouldn’t have an alternative to signing where they were drafted after high school.

    ETA: Also, too, if College baseball cared about serving as a minor league, they’d play with wooden bats.

  36. 36.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    TBogg does his part in keeping the puppy-kicking CEO in the spotlight, despite the fact that he’s in the process of totally getting away with it. As though we needed one more reminder the 0.1% are different from thee and me.

  37. 37.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    …the fight broke out between the visiting team (Tri-Cities, which is based in Eastern Washington) and the Seattle team’s fans, in the stands!

    LULz.

    At least the folks in the Seattle weren’t booing Santa Claus, and throwing snowballs at the players. And at each other.

  38. 38.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    @efgoldman:
    MIT football? They would totally figure out the most efficient blocking angles, immediately prior to getting knocked back onto their brainiac asses. I get to say that because my bro is an alum.

  39. 39.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    @geg6: not many go straight to the big show, sure. but a lot of guys who play college ball could have played in the minors for those 2-3 years they were in college. Strasburg, for example, played in the Arizona Fall League in late 2009, then played about a month in AAA before being called up to the MLB roster. most of the college draftees play in the AFL and then maybe a season in AA or AAA before getting called up. again, a lot of them are drafted out of high school and choose college, MLB benefits from that because they don’t have to pay those guys for a couple of years and let the universities develop them, same as football and basketball. in a lot of ways, it’s similar to how the NBA approaches the Euroleague.

  40. 40.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    @Tone In DC: The entire incident started because some idiot Seattle fan threw a beer into the Tri-Cities bench area.

    1. Throwing stuff at the other team is wrong.

    2. OK, so the beer probably sucked, but hey, you’re throwing beer, dude!

  41. 41.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    @Trollhattan: I’m assuming you’re talking about Seattle? I think they, like the Saints need home field advantage more than most other teams to reach the Super Bowl. And I’m not sure the winner of the NFC West is going to have home field (I’d put money on Green Bay or Philly because of division strength but am rooting for New Orleans), though I do think the NFC West gets three teams in the playoffs this year.

  42. 42.

    The Dangerman

    August 28, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    ….I recall when that happened in the late 90′s…

    I was in Seattle that year (95); it was one of the all-time collapses (right up there with the Phillies and Gene Mauch). Angels and Mariners had a one game playoff with Randy Johnson on the hill. Angels had NO chance.

  43. 43.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    Billings Poly teams are the Engineers, Georgia Tech’s teams are the Yellowjackets, and VA Tech’s are the Hokies.

    What the hell are the MIT teams?

  44. 44.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    @Tone In DC:

    MIT are the Engineers. Caltech are the Beavers.

    No school has a sillier mascot than UC Santa Cruz, although UC Irvine, St. Louis, and Canisius come close.

  45. 45.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Throwing stuff at the other team is wrong.

    Can’t argue with that.

    But, someone needs to notify the Dodgers, SF Giants and the A’s. Way too many Duracells getting chucked onto those fields.

  46. 46.

    pseudonymous in nc

    August 28, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    @geg6:

    Can’t understand the love for college football. I find it much less entertaining than pro, maybe because I have seen painfully close up how awful the whole system is.

    It is ridiculous and overblown and spectacular and corrupt. Seriously, this is what Americans pay their taxes for: to fund millionaire state employees, stealth bomber flypasts and unpaid college students.

    If it were simply corrupt, then it would probably be gone. It is gloriously corrupt, a pure product of America.

  47. 47.

    mack

    August 28, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Life long UCLA fan…but this year, I’ll be sporting black n gold. My daughter is a freshman at Vandy, AND plays in the marching band. So, of course, I’ll be wearing the obligatory black shirt in this hot humid weather and screaming my lungs out. At halftime.

  48. 48.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    @The Dangerman: IIRC didn’t Langston pitch for the Angels? I think that’s the one, also, when Edgar slapped a double in the bottom of the ninth to bring in the winning run.

    Or that might have been in the playoffs with the Yankees. I could look it up, but I’m being lazy today.

  49. 49.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    @burnspbesq: Oregon State defeats USC: Headline writers go crazy.

    “Beavers unimpressed by Trojans.”

  50. 50.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Less than three hours bitchezz!

  51. 51.

    cmorenc

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    I’m one of the growing number of contrarians on the American side of the pond who vastly prefer watching futbol to watching the inaptly named foot-ball (which would more accurately be named arm-ball or bastard-child-of-rugby.0 Both soccer and rugby=>American foot-ball evolved from the same common ancestral game 150 years ago, and began diverging over a key point in the rules: was advancing the ball by carrying it in the hands/arms a properly permissible element of the game, or should the rules only allow playing the ball with the body and feet, but not the arms and hands? To some American sensibilities, it’s absurd to not permit using the hands and arms, but to folks more soccer-oriented the athletic skill in manipulating the ball without arms or hands produces much the better display of athletic skill – besides soccer flows much better and more continuously than football. Or so the soccer folks think.

  52. 52.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The first event at the Galen Center was a men’s basketball game between USC and USC.

    Headline that never appeared: “Trojans Contain Cocks.”

  53. 53.

    Iowa Old Lady

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    @Trollhattan: The MIT cheer is supposedly:

    That’s all right,
    That’s OK,
    You’re gonna work for us someday.

  54. 54.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    @Tone In DC:
    In Britain, if you get caught on a security camera doing that, you get a lifetime ban from the stadium.

  55. 55.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Banana Slugs? And Anteaters?

    When I was in grade school, I thought U of Md. was chucklesome for having a snapping turtle for a mascot.

  56. 56.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    @burnspbesq: the Delta State Fighting Okra, Trinity College Trolls, and Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils would like to enter the contest.

    Also, from the JC ranks, the Scottsdale CC Fighting Artichokes demand recognition.

    ETA: link because believability.

  57. 57.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    @mack: And they play tonight!

  58. 58.

    The Dangerman

    August 28, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I think that’s the one, also, when Edgar slapped a double in the bottom of the ninth to bring in the winning run.

    That was Yankee’s series.

    As I recall, Langston was on the mound for the 1 game playoff; I recall it being a blowout. Too lazy to look it up.

  59. 59.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    @Tone In DC:

    Way too many Duracells getting chucked onto those fields.

    Which is nothing compared to what gets thrown at visiting teams at World Cup qualifying matches in Costa Rica.

  60. 60.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    @The Dangerman: Yeah, it was a blow out. 9-1 Mariners.

  61. 61.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    I get my stitches out in the morning and, with a 5:30 kickoff Saturday, I should be well out of any sun!

  62. 62.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    @efgoldman:

    http://dnr.maryland.gov/wildlife/Plants_Wildlife/herps/Testudines/EasternSnappingTurtle.asp

    Disclaimer: I am not a zoologist. Nor do I play one on TV.

  63. 63.

    dmsilev

    August 28, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady:

    The MIT cheer is supposedly:

    That’s all right,
    That’s OK,
    You’re gonna work for us someday.

    Oh dear Lord, no. It’s far far geekier than that. Google turns up a few versions, but the one I remember from when I was a student there (mid nineties) was this:

    e to the u, du/dx
    e to the x dx
    cosine, secant, tangent, sine,
    3.14159
    integral, radical, u dv,
    slipstick, slide rule, MIT!

  64. 64.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    The crazed hooligans aren’t just in the Premier League, I see.
    Fans would be safer at an Eagles game at the Vet, back in the day.

  65. 65.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    @efgoldman: Wow, I wonder what that was? I live out in the boonies, so unless I’m going into town, I miss all the traffic craziness. I think there was a big wreck that shut I-75 down for a half a day or so, but well south of Tampa. Maybe that was it?

  66. 66.

    Tommy

    August 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Go LSU. That video. Don’t think the Brit knows SEC football.

  67. 67.

    Tom Levenson

    August 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    @efgoldman: Lumps of coal in your stocking this Festivus. Feh.

    My dad was a Boston Latin product. Didn’t seem to hurt him.

  68. 68.

    Tom Levenson

    August 28, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    @burnspbesq: Which is a little odd, given that MIT’s mascot is a beaver. Leading to some unfortunate slogans.

    @Iowa Old Lady: I’ve actually heard that at a Harvard game. Alas. (V. Holy Cross, I think. Long time ago.) One of the many reasons I’m more comfortable at the east end of Cambridge.

  69. 69.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    @efgoldman: You, sir, have a valid point.

  70. 70.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    @Tone In DC: FAU’s mascot is the Burrowing Owls, which is really cute if you’ve ever seen a burrowing owl. Little hissing, beer-can sized critters.

  71. 71.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Why the Mariners will be in the World Series this fall.

    Obligatory warning: Huffington Post link.

  72. 72.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    @burnspbesq:
    Can I get some love for Evergreen College?? Thought so.

  73. 73.

    some guy

    August 28, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    Go Gators
    Go Gators
    Come on, Gators
    GET UP AND GO

    Almost here.

  74. 74.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    @Tom Levenson: Caltech’s mascot is also a beaver.

  75. 75.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    FAU’s mascot is the Burrowing Owls, which is really cute if you’ve ever seen a burrowing owl. Little hissing, beer-can sized critters.

    LULz.

    That bird has to be more appealing than a banana slug.

  76. 76.

    mack

    August 28, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Bruins are exceedingly cute. Commodores? Not so much. Question, is there anyone else out there that is tired of the SEC proclaiming it’s superiority?

  77. 77.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    @KG:
    NFC West is a little hard to suss out this season, with St Louis getting better, Arizona getting worse and SF acting like a mental ward. What’s becoming clear through the preseason haze is Seattle is stronger than last year, random future injuries aside. Ain’t nobody else in the NFC on their level and as it’s time for the NFC and AFC wests to face off, travel stresses are likewise greatly reduced (along with the level of competition compared to last year’s AFC matchups).

    If Seattle isn’t at least in the NCF championship I’ll have to find a chapeau to grill and consume. I’m-a have a grand season, surrounded as I am by the standard group of ‘9ers and Raiders fans. Heh-indoozle.

  78. 78.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Doesn’t say anywhere in the article that it knows how to tackle or throw a pass.

    The Terps were good a few years ago. Now, not so much.

    But, that reptile would fit in PERFECTLY with the Vandy football team.

  79. 79.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    @mack: Proclaim shit.

  80. 80.

    Tommy

    August 28, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    It’s Saturday Night in Death Valley (LSU Football).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqKthXGYAOQ

    I do not think most folks understand what it is like to come here to play. Sure I get every college wants this or that. A 100,000 under the lights. Death valley. I am willing to bet every college football player will say they didn’t want to play a game there.

  81. 81.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    @Tone In DC: They are in the Big Ten now.

  82. 82.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    @Tommy:

    “There are so many other things they can do that maybe going to the game that day isn’t the most important thing on their agenda,” says Louisiana State University athletic director Joe Alleva. Student attendance fell 5.5% to 8,508 in 2013 from 9,000 in 2012.

  83. 83.

    Yatsuno

    August 28, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: The writer of that article is instantly an asshole. YOU. DO. NOT. TAUNT. THE. BASEBALL. GODS.

  84. 84.

    Bill

    August 28, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    His use of the phrase “amateur students” show a fundamental misunderstanding of college football.

  85. 85.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    @raven:

    True. The Free State’s largest public university has sold out to the highest bidder.

  86. 86.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Hodor! Bait

    Now it’s stoopid NATO lying about some silly bits of Russian armor, who are lost, scared and want their babushkas

  87. 87.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    @Bill: He’s a Brit. This stuff is difficult for them to wrap their heads around.

    Also in ’86, I was working in the 9th ID Division Signal Office, and my boss was a British exchange officer, a Major who had served in the Falklands War. My co-worker (another CPT) and I were trying to explain to him how the NFL playoff system worked, as it was late in the season and the prospects of the Seahawks were a major discussion amongst those on the Division staff, and he found it utterly baffling. We didn’t even attempt to explain how the college “National Champion” was determined…

  88. 88.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Champions League group stage draw complete. Man City got hosed, so I’m happy.

  89. 89.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    SEC Network show on the duece.

  90. 90.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    We didn’t even attempt to explain how the college “National Champion” was determined…

    Heck, I can’t even explain it to myself. It’s like, “Uhhhhhh [spins around three times] you guys.”

  91. 91.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 28, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    @Yatsuno: “Hey, pitch! Got a no-hitter going, eh?”

    “ARRRRRRRGH!”

  92. 92.

    Dee Loralei

    August 28, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    My beloved Sooners are gonna win the National Championship this year, you heard it here first folks.

  93. 93.

    mack

    August 28, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    @raven: I think you can reasonably make the case that the PAC 12 is just as competitive. I guess since I live in the South, I hear it more than my brothers and sisters might out West. Oregon, UCLA, Arizona, Stanford are all capable of beating SEC teams almost any given year.

  94. 94.

    Belafon

    August 28, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    @Trollhattan: Isn’t the answer to that to ask them how to explain how penalty time is determined in soccer?

  95. 95.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    @Trollhattan: the Rans are toast with Bradford done (if your answer at qb is Shaun Hill, you got the question wrong). I think the 49ers will still be good. I also think the Cards will do well. Question is whether any of the other divisions will be able to get two teams into the playoffs. No way the East does. And I have no faith in the North. The South, maybe, if Atlanta’s year last year was an anomaly or if Carolina doesn’t regress (which I think they will). Plus, repeating is damn hard

  96. 96.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    I don’t care how tall they are for their age. I still can’t get my head around Giving! Loaded! Uzis! To! Children!

  97. 97.

    flukebucket

    August 28, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    @Botsplainer: you are going to be absolutely shocked at how shitty Todd Grantham is at coaching a defense. If you can average 40+ points per game you should at least go .500

    In all of my football life I have never seen a defensive football team so constantly confused and lost as the defenses he gave us here at UGA.

  98. 98.

    Belafon

    August 28, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    @Yatsuno: BTW, I saw your comment a few days ago about you ending up in Dallas at some point in the near future. We will definitely have to set up a time and place to meet, though if you’re going to be anywhere near the east side of Dallas, I can recommend a place in Garland.

  99. 99.

    Trooptrap Tripetrope

    August 28, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    That clip is from a six part documentary series called Stephen Fry in America. It’s well worth seeking out.

  100. 100.

    Elizabelle

    August 28, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    PBO presser on live. C-Span 1 and probably elsewhere. In progress.

  101. 101.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    @Belafon:
    It’s so simple, I could explain it to you: the referee, in his capacity as official timekeeper of the match, keeps track of interruptions (stoppages) during the match, then adds the time back on at the end of the half or before the final whistle. This is typically called “stoppage” or “injury” time, rather than “penalty” time.

    At Manchester United matches during Sir Alex Ferguson’s managerial tenure it was sometimes called “Fergie” time, particularly if United were behind and seeking an equaliser; Fergie himself liked to call such a situation “squeaky bum” time. But that’s another story.

  102. 102.

    Tone In DC

    August 28, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    PBO presser on live. C-Span 1 and probably elsewhere. In progress.

    Hard for me to watch the news (Iran, Iraq, ISIS, Syria, Gaza, Ukraine/Russia) because the always-wrong M$M brain donors keep agitating for US military action.

    This idea that everything issue or problem can’t be solved with military force, these guys ain’t cruisin’ by that anytime soon.

  103. 103.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    @KG: Rams’ D was really good and got better offseason, but that won’t generate points. There’s no question that the ‘9ers are still good, but they have several underlying problems that I question whether they’ll be able to overcome over a full season, but they’ll still win at least 10 games. Many NFC West watchers are expecting a Cardinals collapse this year but I don’t know them well enough to say why. They were Seattle’s only home loss last year, again due to defense.

  104. 104.

    mack

    August 28, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    @efgoldman: Consider me schooled.

  105. 105.

    Belafon

    August 28, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Thanks.

    ///

    From LGF: Breaking: Video Messaging Company Confirms Audio of Gunshots Captured at Time of Michael Brown Shooting

  106. 106.

    Elizabelle

    August 28, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    @Tone In DC:

    Yeah, President Obama specifically ruled out military intervention in Russia/Ukraine. Which is an idiotic question to begin with.

    The MSM want to get their war on.

  107. 107.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    @mack: The SEC gets the lion’s share of the nation’s best recruits, sends more players to the pros than any other conference and has won seven of the last 10 football championships (vs one for the PAC-12). But if you exclude those facts, yeah, the PAC 12 is every bit as competitive.

  108. 108.

    scav

    August 28, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    “This was a very mature young lady and something she wanted to do and her parents were treating her,” Scarmardo said. “You know this was a big, something that was high on her bucket list to do.”

    There’s a hole in my bucket Eliza Eliza, there’s a hole in my bucket, a hole . .

    see rest of song.

  109. 109.

    Belafon

    August 28, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    @scav: My nine year old is mature for his age, and I still say no when he volunteers to drive.

  110. 110.

    scav

    August 28, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    @Belafon: Yeah, but you’re raising moocher commies that will open the door politely to wounded people in the middle of the night, aren’t you?

  111. 111.

    Josie

    August 28, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    @scav: Aside from the gun issue, I find the idea of a nine year old having a bucket list ridiculous. That sounds like an idea thought up by one of the parents.

  112. 112.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    @efgoldman: It isn’t even close.

  113. 113.

    KG

    August 28, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    @Trollhattan: i’ve been trying to figure out why people are down on the Cardinals too. The offense pretty much stayed intact, so unless your issue is just that it’s Carson Palmer under center, that doesn’t make much sense. The defense should still be good, despite losing Darnell Docket for the season. As for SF, 10 wins should be enough to get into the playoffs. NFC West plays AFC West and NFC East this year, so Seattle, SF, and Arizona should be looking at 3-5 free wins when you factor in Oakland, probably KC, Washington, Dallas, and the Giants all being less than good.

  114. 114.

    Citizen_X

    August 28, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    @Trollhattan: Here’s a report from the NYT, where it looks like said Russian armor column kicked the Ukrainians’ butts.

    And it looks like both us and the Russians are back to testing each others’ air defenses.

    *Sigh* Looks like the Cold War’s back, y’all.

  115. 115.

    scav

    August 28, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    @Josie: Yeah, and even if so, the assumption that everything on the bloody list has to be done now, as though it’s a make-a-wish situation. I’m trying to wrestle this emerging picture of Real Ammosexual “Merkan He-mens who A) have gotten their wives to STFU and submit graciously; while B) acceding instantly to age-dubious weaponry play by girlchilds et al; while C) making grandiloquent and creepy gestures of control of what they see as age-dubious sexual play only for girl-chiles to the point where they will shoot point-blank inappropriate boyfriends for girls they’ve kicked out of the house.

  116. 116.

    bargal20

    August 28, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    I loved that they used that beautiful Jerry Goldsmith music from the “Alien” soundtrack over Stephen Fry’s expedition to a college football stadium.

  117. 117.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    @Josie: Given that a “bucket list” is supposed to contain items to be completed before one’s death, I think your skepticism is well-founded.

  118. 118.

    beth

    August 28, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    @Cervantes: That reminds me of the twenty-something couples I see on HGTV that absolutely must have their dream home now and don’t want to settle for anything less. What are you going to live in when you’re in your forties – Versailles?

  119. 119.

    chopper

    August 28, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    @efgoldman:

    Me too.

  120. 120.

    gene108

    August 28, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    My co-worker (another CPT) and I were trying to explain to him how the NFL playoff system worked,

    I have been explaining to Indian co-workers several times.

    Best way to get it across is explain how it is similar to the World Cop.

    You play a certain number of games during the season. The top 16 get into the elimination rounds. The elimination rounds are split into two pods of eight, with the top two teams in each pod automatically advancing to the next round.

    What is interesting is they always try to break it down into terms of quarterfinals, semifinals, and finals, rather than the fancy names we give play-off rounds like the Divisional Round game or NFC Championship game.

    ***********************

    Also, I find the English Premiere League and other European leagues confusing. They just seem to play matches year round and there does not seem to be a defined season for the sport.

  121. 121.

    Tom Levenson

    August 28, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    @efgoldman: Dad did the Latin-Harvard’ 41 to the US Navy (42-46) dance. His grandparents were the immigrants. Lithuania. Intellectual hotbeds of Chelsea, then (eventually) Brookline — not far from where I live now. Tough, tough people.

    I’m a Berkeley High Yellowjacket, class of 76, and then on to the Kremlin on the Charles. Lived to tell the tale.

  122. 122.

    Scamp Dog

    August 28, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    @efgoldman: I’m one of them! Even played in the band at Notre Dame during my first year of grad school.

  123. 123.

    Mike R

    August 28, 2014 at 5:20 pm

    Yee haw!!! Not that anybody should care but here goes anyway. My ear injury has mended and I can dive again. Made 3 sucessful dives yesterday. 2 years with hit and miss and finally hit after hit Yee haw!!! Now to tell the wife it is dive time again. Dive friends off in the Caribbean so am celebrating solo.

  124. 124.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    @beth: That’s pretty funny, thanks.

    Anyway, I’m sure the girl’s parents were using the term loosely. They’re probably not in any state now to be thinking about le mot juste, if ever they were.

  125. 125.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    @Tom Levenson: Have you read “A Measureless Peril: America in the Fight for the Atlantic, the Longest Battle of World War II”?

    Inspired by the collection of letters that his father sent his mother from the destroyer escort he served aboard, Snow brings to life the longest continuous battle in modern times.

    With its vibrant prose and fast-paced action, A Measureless Peril is an immensely satisfying account that belongs on the small shelf of the finest histories ever written about World War

  126. 126.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    @Mike R: Great, I’ve only been out of the water for a week and have another week to go and I’m goin nuts!

  127. 127.

    ShadeTail

    August 28, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    Charles Pierce mentioned you by (your Balloon Juice) name, Betty.

  128. 128.

    Seanly

    August 28, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    RE: the video – well, yeah, I can see why it looks ridiculous to a non-American.

    Go Clemson Tigers and Lehigh Engineers Mountain Hawks (grumble grumble)

  129. 129.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    @gene108:
    The football season in UEFA countries is not year-round. It runs from mid-August to mid-May. The EPL season began two weeks ago. Some European leagues take a two-week Christmas break, but not in England where Boxing Day is traditionally a match day.

    The close season is generally given over to international tournaments, club promotional activities like exhibition matches, preparations for the new season including tune-up matches, trading players, and of course vacation time.

  130. 130.

    ranchandsyrup

    August 28, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    @ShadeTail: This is a shebeen? Can I order some beverages?

  131. 131.

    jibeaux

    August 28, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    God help me, I hate football so much. An otherwise wonderful season, fall.

  132. 132.

    Mike R

    August 28, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    @raven: Thanks hope your dives go great. I was very nervous, about the ear, but when things just flowed it was like a great weight lifted.

  133. 133.

    scav

    August 28, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    @ranchandsyrup: Had to do some quick reading up, apparently we need to find the Queen. In this thread, it makes sense it would be Betty, but I’d think there’d be stiff competition for the role, esp. at certain hours.

  134. 134.

    Mike in NC

    August 28, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    Who’ll be the first Villager to complain that Obama wore a BEIGE suit to his press conference? Didn’t he read the Constitution? The only acceptable attire is a navy blue wool suit, white shirt, and either red or powder blue necktie. Plus lapel pin, of course.

  135. 135.

    Botsplainer

    August 28, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    @flukebucket:

    I hold hope that Charlie Strong’s defense culture is instilled enough for there to be continuity.

  136. 136.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    @Mike R: I’m not a diver, just an old man who does a daily swim.

    thx

  137. 137.

    Violet

    August 28, 2014 at 5:55 pm

    If anyone is interested in helping people in Ferguson an Amazon registry has been set up and you can buy things off it and send them to the Heal STL headquarters.

    Here's a link to #HealSTL's Wish List on Amazon: http://t.co/uPRzUg049M Thank you to all who have helped today! Follow @HealSTL for more.— Antonio French (@AntonioFrench) August 28, 2014

  138. 138.

    Violet

    August 28, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Stupid moderation for too many links. Taking out one:
    If anyone is interested in helping people in Ferguson an Amazon registry has been set up and you can buy things off it and send them to the Heal STL headquarters.

    Here's a link to #HealSTL's Wish List on Amazon: http://t.co/uPRzUg049M Thank you to all who have helped today! Follow @HealSTL for more.— Antonio French (@AntonioFrench) August 28, 2014

  139. 139.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    It’s quite understandable that Fry was bemused at the hoopla surrounding a local derby* between two university teams. Since America is the only country with American-style college sports, I suppose the nearest equivalent in English football would be a Conference (semi-pro league) match between two local teams — which would most definitely not rate a Cup Final atmosphere, marching bands or a flyby from the RAF.

    *I know what Pierce heard, but the British spell it derby and pronounce it “darby”.

  140. 140.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    @Botsplainer: Culture my ass. Grantham was lost/

  141. 141.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Screw all this bullshit, play the game!

  142. 142.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    No school has a sillier mascot than UC Santa Cruz, although UC Irvine, St. Louis, and Canisius come close.

    Whittier.

  143. 143.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    @Roger Moore: My old man coached the Cali High Condors there many many years ago.

  144. 144.

    Keith G

    August 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Obama wears a tan suit to a press briefing and the internet finds it’s new shiny thing.

    I won’t link. Google and enjoy!

  145. 145.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    @Cervantes:

    Caltech’s mascot is also a beaver.

    There is an annual Caltech/MIT alumni hockey game called The Beaver Cup.

  146. 146.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Musbuger on a sideline route., “down the middle”!!!

  147. 147.

    Amir Khalid

    August 28, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    @Mike in NC:
    Obama should wear a zoot suit at his next press conference and really wind them up.

  148. 148.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    How bout that badass Cock defense????

  149. 149.

    Roger Moore

    August 28, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    @Belafon:

    Isn’t the answer to that to ask them how to explain how penalty time is determined in soccer?

    That’s easy. The ref makes a wild guess about how much time to add, taking into account the number of substitutions, injuries, penalties, and whether the home team is ahead or behind.

  150. 150.

    Keith G

    August 28, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    @raven: One can only hope.

  151. 151.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    @Roger Moore: Mayhew is in the next thread, he’s a ref.

  152. 152.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    @Keith G: Actually I don’t really want to play them in 2 weeks with them coming off a loss.

  153. 153.

    ranchandsyrup

    August 28, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    @scav: Heh indeedy there would

  154. 154.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    @Mike in NC:
    Here’s hoping he also somehow managed to put his shoes up on the lectern at some point.

    Wonkette has already managed to place his head onto what I’m guessing is David Byrne’s Big Suit.

  155. 155.

    Betty Cracker

    August 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    @ShadeTail: Well, gottdamn!

  156. 156.

    Trollhattan

    August 28, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    wild guess

    That’s careful and reasoned calculation to you, good sir!

  157. 157.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    @Betty Cracker: And no h/t for the kid!! I actually saw the vid on the great Bulldog Blog, Get the Picture!

  158. 158.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 28, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    @Mike in NC: all of ’em, Katie!

    I’m so out of it fashion-wise, it never would’ve occurred to me that a tan suit was a bad thing. I’m pretty sure I used to own one.

  159. 159.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Keep em in it stripes. . .

  160. 160.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    @Roger Moore: Began in the late ’80s, I think.

  161. 161.

    Cervantes

    August 28, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    @Roger Moore: Whittier has a bigger cross to bear than that. It graduated Nixon.

  162. 162.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 7:18 pm

    A&M’s offensive is something to behold.

  163. 163.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Alabama – Auburn is at least as big as Forest – Derby, and might be as big as Arsenal – Spurs.

    Michigan – Ohio State is about as big as Newcastle – Sunderland.

    Duke – North Carolina is as big as the Merseyside derby.

    USC – UCLA is about as big as Notts County- Mansfield Town.

  164. 164.

    burnspbesq

    August 28, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Poets is a perfectly appropriate mascot for a school named after a famous poet. Not as bad as Pomona.

  165. 165.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    @burnspbesq: The was a Sidney Lanier Poets HS in Macon.

  166. 166.

    raven

    August 28, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    And the Cobden Applelknockers and Pekin Chinks in Illinois.

  167. 167.

    mack

    August 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Probably the least pleasant football experience ever. (Except for maybe Spurriers’ night) Rain, lightning, delays, and a trouncing by Temple. Brutal. They controlled the line of scrimmage nearly every play. Seven turnovers. Embarrassing.

    The band rocked it at least.

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