Just an absolutely gorgeous day for most of the day- low to mid 80’s with a great breeze and low humidity (for here). Got a solid six hours of mowing in, just took an amazing cool shower and then lotioned up with some of commenter Satby’s hand made lotion (tangerine something). AC has the house at a lovely 76, and I am really excited to sit in my chair and watch a couple hours of Riviera (my new show).
It’s my father’s birthday today, as well as Gerald’s. They all went out to eat last night together (I was not invited although at this point they may have reasonably decided to stop inviting me to places or another very distinct possibility is I was invited and forgot because I had other more pressing thoughts when they were talking to me), and today Gerald and fam spent the day at the lake. I called dad first thing and wished him a Happy Birthday, then asked him if he would like me to drive to any place special for me to get something for dinner you can’t get close by, and he said not tonight and then started getting cranky and we started bickering and finally I yelled at him “I’M TRYING TO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY YOU ASSHOLE STOP BEING SO DIFFICULT” and he asked “Did you just call me an asshole on my birthday?” and I said indeed I had and I can hear my mother in hysterics in the background.
So everything is normal in the Cole household today.
I heard a fascinating story today told by Scooter Braun (I have no idea who he is and if he has been cancelled I am sorry I mentioned him fuck off and don’t yell at me) about an artist named Spencer Lee, who he claimed was the most talented person he ever met, but he was a junkie. They got him clean, and he was doing alright, and made some absolute bangers:
Many of you may already know the ending. Like far too many others, he relapsed, either got a bad load or tried to use as much as he did before quitting, and died. Another once in a generation talent, just gone.
I say that because I am still fucking livid and will be for a long time about fucking microwaved Mel Gibson running HHS and the trillion dollars in cuts to healthcare that are going to be coming down the pike fast and furious. Y’all are not stupid. You know that when the cuts come, the first things to go will be drug prevention and treatment, drug rehabilitation, etc. It’s inevitable. Combine the fact that the downtrodden and addicted have no fucking voice in this country in the best of times and our fucked up puritanical mindset that has done more fucking damage to this country than Reagan and Trump combined, and people will say “oh that’s bad” before someone else chimes in “Hey they CHOSE to do drugs” and we’ll wrap their sin up in a bow and wear it proudly as the money dries up and people start to die but we won’t need to pay attention because it’s not my family members or kids it’s those scumbags who chose to use. Until it’s their dead kid on a gurney.
That’s who we are losing. Our society’s seed corn. And it doesn’t just matter for the talented ones we lose, it matters for all of them. They’re ours. We should be helping them.
I see that fucking Trump stopped trying to further incriminate himself in the Epstein files long enough to open his rancid fucking piehole to blurt out more bullshit:
President Donald Trump on Wednesday said Coca-Cola in the U.S. will begin to be made with cane sugar, but the company did not explicitly say that was the case when asked later about the president’s claim.
In a Truth Social post Wednesday afternoon, Trump said he had been speaking to Coca-Cola about using cane sugar in the sodas sold in the U.S., and that the company agreed to his idea.
“This will be a very good move by them — You’ll see. It’s just better!” Trump wrote in the post.
But Coca-Cola did not commit to the change when asked later by NBC News about Trump’s social media post.
“We appreciate President Trump’s enthusiasm for our iconic Coca-Cola brand,” a company spokesperson said in a statement. “More details on new innovative offerings within our Coca-Cola product range will be shared soon.”
There’s a lot to unpack here so work with me. First off, I guaran-fucking-ty that either Trump saw a bottle of Mexican Coke or someone around him offhand mentioned that Mexican coke is better because it has real sugar in it, because all this bilious twat drinks is DIET Coke by the gallon. And because of that interaction, we get this proclamation.
Second, I also guarantee that he either didn’t talk to anyone at Coca Cola beforehand.
Third, has there ever been a bigger waste of resources than this fucking guy. This barely sentient derailed chemical train leaks out some noxious emission, and the whole fucking world has to pay attention to it. Thousands of fucking journalists all say “what the fuck” and have to start calling people. Every executive at coca cola was getting texts and legal and marketing and pr had to cancel what the fuck ever they were doing, and congregate to navigate through this clusterfuck. I’ve wasted twenty minutes thinking about it. Now I am wasting your time. Just a fucking toxic black hole of suck consuming everything in his path.
Finally, if YOU REALLY WANTED TO GET REAL SUGAR IN SOFT DRINKS, the time to do that was a couple weeks ago in your big beautiful bill. First, you would end the sugar tariffs, and then you would end the farm subsidies that help lower the price of HFCS to make it a cheaper alternative than sugar. Now that would probably infuriate the american sugar cartel that controls sugar production in Florida, Louisiana, and Texas, and I guarantee the midwest farmers, already reeling from your tariff nonsense, would lose their ever loving minds if you cut their corn subsidies, but don’t worry, they still wouldn’t vote for Democrats. But that is how you would do it. Then have the FDA under the Kennedy failson mandate that any beverage made with anything but sugar have a big label on it that says “MADE WITH ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS” and the market will handle the rest.
God I fucking hate this guy so fucking much. I hope that is coming through with my writing.
So I mentioned I am watching Riviera. I always liked Julia Stiles and it’s an entertaining show and the location is beautiful and there are lots of pretty people and enough interesting shit to keep me focused but I can still look away and read on the laptop without getting lost or missing anything truly major. If you know what I mean.
While watching it last night there was an assassin played by Nora Arnezeder who is just ridiculously gorgeous- like the kind of beautiful that if you saw them in person you would just get nervous around them until you know them because they don’t look like real people they look like they came out of a model factory. Here, you have eyes, go to her imdb.
At any rate, one of the things that has changed for me over time is that it just feels like there are far more ridiculously attractive people in the world than I could have ever imagined growing up in a town of 300 in WV pre-internet. Now, you turn on the television and watch any show for five minutes, it doesn’t matter what network or what the quality of the show is, but in that five minutes you will see a couple of actors, male or female, just getting their 15 seconds of screen time in a bit role, just trying to break out and get their career going, nobodies in the business, but if you met them in person they would be one of the most beautiful people you probably have ever met.
And there are just so many of these beautiful freaks of nature just walking around. Never imagined that as a kid. They say the internet and the multimedia revolution has made the world smaller, but to me it just feels like it is getting bigger every day.
The past week or so I keep finding myself getting sucked into conversations about wedding cakes and veils and other things, and that is because we are at D-70 for the wedding. Joelle is getting quite excited (and also anxious because she recognizes my panic every time we start talking about it), I am, well, getting anxious, and I just want the thing to be over. There are several things working against me in this, first of which is I absolutely loathe being the center of attention. I am absolutely find giving a large lecture or that sort of thing because that’s not me, that’s a version of me that’s been crafted over the years to present to you people in public. But it’s not me. I have long said that my greatest goal at my current job is to get to retirement age without ANYONE in upper management being able to pick my photo out of a lineup. At any rate, either being the center of attention or the fear of being the center of attention is why I would HAVE to drink at home for a couple hours before even thinking about going to a bar.
It’s just weird and I don’t know how to explain it. I just die a little on the inside every time I am in a crowd an someone says “Hey Cole” and says something and I can just feel every head turn and look at me and hear the music stop and now I have to fucking respond. I don’t know what else to say for you to understand- you’ll either get it or you won’t.”
The other thing is I absolutely loathe fucking ceremonies. So many of them are just public shows and no one really means it, and so many of these traditions are either just money grabs or ways to control people and their behaviors or have religious and weird origins that are anachronous in today’s world. Think about how many funerals you have been to where people just lied their asses off and said someone was wonderful.
Hopeless romantic, ehh? I know I have said it before, but in my mind I was married the moment she said yes and I don’t need a lot of other people or a bunch of government bullshit to make it real to me. Having said all that, she is very excited, so I am going to do my absolute best to not be an absolute mental basket case or ruin the experience for her and everyone else. And it will be very nice to have it over.
That’s enough babble. Time for dinner.
*** Update ***
Sweet fancy moses, that letter from Trump to Epstein has my Ho Yay! detector going off like one of those geiger counter in Chernobyl:
This letter Trump wrote to Epstein is pretty close to a smoking gun.
— Max Berger (@maxberger.bsky.social) July 17, 2025 at 6:57 PM
He’s so fucked with his base.
*** Update #2 ***
I feel morally obligated to inform you all that Ohio now has a hot dog shaped boat named the Edmund Glizzgerald, which is the first thing I have ever liked about Ohio and my dad and future wife are from there. It has ruined a certain Gordon Lightfoot song forever, though.
Don’t hear from me for days and then I won’t leave you alone.
Baud
Happy birthday to those with birthdays.
Ramona
The bride is the center of attention. For now, focus on tasting all samples of wedding cake and any other samples the caterers present and when Joelle gets anxious, reiterate your willingness to elope.
Booger
Works of art, both
sab
@Ramona: I agree. The wedding is all about the bride. So Cole should relax. Nobody will notice him. He’s just the groom.
Rose Judson
@Ramona:
This. Be on time, don’t flub your vows, job done.
I am doing a kettlebell swing challenge this month, and because swinging a kettlebell 500 times is boring, I watch TV during the workouts. I got caught up with Foundation, which is just starting its third season on Apple TV.
I don’t think the show’s all that good (Jared Harris’s involvement notwithstanding — he’s a terrific actor), but it sure knows how to hold my attention. Every time I start thinking I should find something else to watch, they cut to Lee Pace with no shirt on.
Timill
We know how that goes when planning a wedding. So much so that we gave up on that and instead organised a relaxacon with a fancy-dress parade and a buffet. Being SF fans, we knew how to do that.
Changing the viewpoint made all the difference…
John Cole
@Rose Judson: I will watch Lee Pace in anything. He just totally fucking commands the screen. I get that he is not for everyone, but there is just something about his intensity that gets me in every scene.
Rose Judson
@John Cole: Uh, yeah. It’s his, uh, intensity.
No, I agree. He was totally amazing in Halt and Catch Fire, and although I found the Hobbit movies hard going (The Child loves them), he was great fun as the King of the Wood-Elves.
scav
Amusing how the president of the nation now interfering in and dictating the product details of a manufacturer is somehow not being screeched about as Communism!!! by the usual hair-trigger defenders of the Holy Free Market, hallowed be thy Brand.
suzanne
I have a couple of rules for weddings. One is to not be shitfaced, because that’s when embarrassing stuff goes down. You don’t drink, so you’re fine there. The other is not to shove the bride’s face into the cake, drop her into the pool, or any other asshole stunt. I don’t think you would do that. So you’re fine. Enjoy it the best you can, including the days of relaxing afterward.
Hey, at least you’re not that dickbag who got caught having an affair at the Coldplay concert. LMAO.
different-church-lady
How can anyone loathe ceremonial fucking?
Splitting Image
I spent some time last year reading up on Victorian mourning rituals, and the interesting thing is that Victorian weddings were fairly small affairs by modern standards while funerals were the balls-to-the-wall exploitation affairs that weddings often are now.
There are some really interesting essays written in the 1800s by woke-as-fuck women who regarded the entire mourning industry as a grift designed to screw over women when they were at their most vulnerable.
twbrandt
@sab: the groom is just an accessory in a bow tie.
Baud
WSJ on Trump/Epstein that Trump tried to squash.
wsj.com/politics/trump-jeffrey-epstein-birthday-letter-we-have-certain-things-in-common-f918d79
ETA: Apparently it’s Trump’s birthday message to Epstein.
Central Planning
I saw your D-70 and thought “You have an70-sided die?” and also “That’s cool you’re having a D&D wedding!”
I’ve been listening to Exandria Unlimited and also started a D&D campaign a couple months ago.
Sometimes I REALLY enjoy my brain.
Geminid
We’ve lived in a patriarchal society for some millenia now, so it’s a good thing a woman can finally get some respect as a beautiful assassin…I guess.
mrmoshpotato
No.
All true on top of him being a traitorous, racist, rapist manbaby.
Ryan
Ummm… don’t we import a lot of cane sugar from countries we’re caning with high tariffs?
Sure Lurkalot
Eloping is infinitely more romantic than a wedding. Wish that was the route my guy and I took. Instead, we endured an out of town, days long succession of events that I do not look back on with any fondness. I don’t even like the picture album.
I know many people who say their wedding day was the happiest day of their lives but I can say without remorse, not even close. For momentous events, I’d pick high school graduation…..
persistentillusion
@Baud: 404, regretfully.
Old Man Shadow
Nobody becomes an addict because it looks fun or they “want to sin.”
It’s usually self-medication. Something to dull internal pain. Trauma, abuse, anxiety, depression, bi polar, other mental illness, or just pain.
Would be nice to try to help people with those things before they start self medicating. But that’s socialism.
Baud
@persistentillusion:
wsj.com/politics/trump-jeffrey-epstein-birthday-letter-we-have-certain-things-in-common-f918d796?mod…
persistentillusion
@Baud:
Grazi!
Old Man Shadow
@John Cole: If you haven’t seen it, I recommend The Fall. He plays an injured stuntman in the era of silent movies. Really good. Incredible visuals.
John Revolta
I had a friend, or anyway an associate, years ago whose birthday was 7/17 and he actually WAS an asshole, and we didn’t get along much, but we were in the same band for like five years and actually lived together for most of that. Now TBF, I was pretty much an asshole myself back then and our birthdays were 3 days apart so maybe it’s in the stars, I dunno. But at least I wasn’t the singer.
dexwood
@Old Man Shadow: Agree. Very entertaining and the scene to scene transitions are beautiful.
Peale
@suzanne: when I was a kid, I found those things hilarious. As an adult, while I’m not ashamed that I found it hilarious since I was a kid. But I really question the adults that went to those weddings.
Nettoyeur
I understand John Cole’s revulsion at public ceremonies. There were only 14 ppl at our wedding. Although I have made intl scientific presentations (in multiple languages) and held some high profile positions, the older I get, the lower the key I aim for. I once was a chairman of a big intl conference, and had to say something after the banquet. So I thanked all the staff for their amazing work, and all the visitors for coming, and then said I didn’t want interrupt further the much more important private conversations going on at the tables, and sat down. Probably not politically astute, but screw it. So my advice to John and Joelle is: elope.
narya
So, when my sister died (42 years ago), we were devastated. At first my parents weren’t going to have a funeral, but they changed their minds. We had to construct it ourselves, because we’re a bunch of atheists, and it was just absolutely gut wrenching, of course. After, we went back to my parents’ house and there was food and a gathering, and so on . . . and I saw that a tiny bit of something changed for my parents. I think it was the public acknowledgement that something important had happened in the community to which we belonged, a recognition of a change in the fabric. In this case it was a terrible change, but I realized that there was a place for public acknowledgement of GOOD changes, like weddings and births, as well as for this, and that the public acknowledgement was (or could be) an important piece of the whole thing, not the kind of display you’re talking about. Later I learned that Quakers marry each other (rather than have an officiant who marries them), in front of their meeting, and that, too, captured what I had come to think (apologies if I misrepresented that).
All this to say that I used to think of marriage as a ceremony to join property, and therefore didn’t care, but then experienced the communal aspect of another fabric-altering event and changed my mind.
In any case, have as much fun as you possibly can on that day, and know that the community of people there, and here, wish you every good thing in life and are happy for both of you.
stinger
The Felon is so ignorant about virtually everything. How fast can cane growers ramp up? There’s very little of the U.S. suitable for sugar cane. They’d have to acquire more acreage, which can take years. More equipment, more workers, more processing plants, and again more workers. Most of whom are being deported as we type.
I don’t care about beautiful people. I’m currently enjoying the heck out of Madame Blanc, which features almost entirely middle to late-middle aged actors. Also, everybody calls her either Mrs. White, if they are English speakers, or Madame White, if French. Nobody calls her Madame Blanc!
Spanky
Yeah, the bride is the center of attention, but that’s not how our brains work. Cole, remember that xanax is your friend, but don’t overdo it. Just enough to take the edge off, and let it dissolve under your tongue so it starts to work right away and you can get a better handle on how much you should take before the festivities start.
karen gail
For the most part I greatly dislike weddings, though for a time I made custom wedding dresses for women who weren’t standard sizes nor wanted that standard white gown.
Do have a question; is it just me? seems like every time there is an important visitor to Oval Office and pictures are taken in front of fireplace there is more tacky gold in pictures. I am surprised that orange one hasn’t asked for walls to be covered in gold; but all those tacky items on walls have to be plastic. What a way to show the world just how much the Oval Office has become the “throne room” of petty dictator.
Baud
BellyCat
Cole… Having been through this gig (twice) maybe consider switching gears: rent a park pavilion and tell people to bring food. Showing up is optional. (Your retirement account will thank you, and maybe a therapist or two, as well)
Steve LaBonne
@Baud: Remember when CBS canceled comedy shows the people in power didn’t like? The Smothers Brothers remember!
BellyCat
@Baud: Wins the internet in one!
JCJ
I saw an interview recently with the actor who played General Martok on Star Trek DS9. He stated that he did not really like acting. When asked why he said he did not like people looking at him. When I heard that I thought that was a perfect description. Regarding your goal of not being picked out of a line-up I can proudly say that even though I was one of only three doctors in my specialty in the hospital system where I practiced twice hospital administrators involved in my area did not know my name.
trollhattan
@Baud:
When you’re a star, they let you write it.
BellyCat
@different-church-lady: Can’t recall the start time of BJ After Dark… lol
Omnes Omnibus
Cole, do you have someone with a fast car who is ready offer you a last chance to flee before the ceremony? They must remind you that if you make the run to Mexico that you can never come back, ever, under any circumstances.
Deputinize America
Speaking of weddings, I committed the cardinal error today – I suggested to wife that perhaps middle daughter could trim her expectations a bit. As near as I’ve been told, our spend so far could supply me with a brand new Audi A6.
I barely survived the verbal exchange.
Omnes Omnibus
@BellyCat: Not his day. Not his choice.
gene108
@Baud:
Top rated show in his time slot, clearly creates an undue financial burden.
**************
I hope he suffers. I hope he gets DVT. I hope he can no longer walk or stand. I hope it hurts.
npr.org/2025/07/17/nx-s1-5471453/trump-chronic-venous-insufficiency-swelling
BellyCat
@narya: Quaker wedding by one’s selves is seconded.
Possibly corny but we did so, had everyone gather in a circle holding a ribbon, and passed our wedding rings through the ribbon before accepting vows and placing the rings on each other. Everyone gathered got to touch them and send along their private thoughts.
Ultimately did not work as the six year (to date) divorce is likely going to end up before the Supreme Court. Ouch!
Miss Bianca
@Deputinize America: Jesus. Am I the only woman in the world who had to be *talked into* having a wedding rather than elope? I didn’t want *any* of that shit, and then when my late lamented sister got mad at me about it I just went, “wtf, I didn’t ask for any of this, YOU wanted me to do this.”
I’m with Cole on this one. Getting married? Just go to the courthouse and get it over with. Maybe go out to dinner with however many of your most intimate acquaintances afterwards if you’re feeling fancy.
geg6
OMG, the WSJ story is LIT!
Baud
@gene108:
Ratings are woke.
BellaPea
John, my husband was very much like you when we were planning our wedding 38 years ago–didn’t want to be the center of attention, was nervous about standing up in front of other people, wanted to just do a courthouse ceremony and be done with it. I told him that I was an only child and my mom and grandmothers had been waiting for 30 years for my wedding, and he was 39 and his mom had almost given up hope that he would ever get married. We had a small wedding with lots of family and friends and the biggest party-type reception you could imagine. He didn’t want to leave on our honeymoon, he was having so much fun. Remember, it’s not all about you–Joelle deserves her day like any bride. Try to relax, the ceremony isn’t long and think about how happy your family and her family will be on that day. It will be fine. Wishing the best for you both.
twbrandt
My favorite wedding was when a couple of friends of mine married a couple of years after we all graduated from college. No one had any money, so they got married by a justice of the peace and had their reception at their apartment complex’s clubhouse. A couple of friends DJ’ed, a couple of others tended bar, it was low budget, low key, no pressure, and a hell of a good time.
satby
Of course Joelle is excited, and you’re the great guy who will be able to bask in the happiness you’re bringing to her and your families and friends, just like the pinning ceremony. Because you’re a mensch.
Miss Bianca
@JCJ: Here’s the thing about my particular brand of introvert-ism – I have no problem as an actor with people looking at me. I have no problem going on the radio, I have no problem with performing and being in front of people that way at all, because *I have a job to do.*
But ask me to make small talk at a social gathering? Or walk up to some stranger on the street, like my corporate masters at the radio station now want me to, and take their fucking pictures and try to talk to them? Death. A tiny little fucking death every single time.
Miss Bianca
@geg6: Is it? Seems to be paywalled, so I wouldn’t know.
Timill
@Miss Bianca: Joelle gets a say too, you know. We had a fairly fancy wedding because my wife’s first wedding had been nothing of the sort, apparently.
So we rethought it in term of what we knew how to do, and did it our way…
Baud
@Miss Bianca:
Try the link at 22.
Baud
Who cancels a show nearly a year in advance?
WTFGhost
So, Cole (see, absolutely no one turned their head, except the ones who don’t recognize my nym!), here’s the thing about the wedding. You, as groom, have one job: to make your lady love (in your case) the happiest woman alive, feeling surrounded by your love, affection, and happiness.
So you are allowed to disregard everything that doesn’t affect that, and if you seem a bit cranky or distant, hey, it’s your wedding day, it’s okay. Also, your wedding is the one time when you don’t need to care about anyone who isn’t currently making you happy, and/or isn’t your bride-to-be/newly-wedded.
Now, as for this:
I’m a shaman – these ceremonies will have the meaning you put into them. Sometimes, the meaning is “let’s show our respects for the grieving, by making an appearance, and then leaving quietly, without bringing up bad memories,” and, there you get the lying funeral. If the grieving know that the departed was a total dick, then, that is the message the funeral was supposed to send – “we showed up for you, not the departed.” And that would be a successful ceremony.
It would be a terrible ceremony if the idea was a celebration, and mourning, of a life lived – there, your goal is to be honest, and open, share something that maybe everyone doesn’t know.
Now, a wedding ceremony, and the surrounding events, again, your only goal is to make your bride-to-be happy to be marrying you, while comfortable merging households, and to glom onto any happiness you can find along the way. If you make them real, if you put yourself squarely behind your eyes, and look her in the eyes, and speak your vows from the heart, she’ll notice. If you just blew it off, she might not notice that, but, of the two, wouldn’t you rather be sure, if she notices something, she’s noticing your complete and whole presence? If so, put your heart into it, and try to reach her, with your words and heart and spirit.
Obviously, not all parts of the ceremony are so rigid, so demanding of total you-ness. But what you put forth, in sincerity, is what the people who love you will find, so the more present you are, the more involved you feel, the more wedding-ish it will be.
My opinion worth half of what you paid for it.
(Pst: you didn’t pay for it, right?)
MagdaInBlack
@Miss Bianca: Had I to do it over again I would not have a wedding. I would fly to Vegas, get married in the (an?) Elvis Chapel, come home and have a big old pig roast with a live band.
My MIL would have had a stroke had I done that back then.
Ramona
@Rose Judson: Did you see Lee Pace in one of his earlier roles, IIRC “A Soldier’s Girl”?
different-church-lady
@gene108: This really takes it: Biden will have to step aside.
Timill
@Miss Bianca: Try the Grauniad
Ramona
@Rose Judson: The intense sheen of his skin, the intense gleam of his eyes, the intense symmetry of his features and his intense tallness, among other things…
Miss Bianca
@Timill: Of course Joelle gets a say. Jesus. Just saying I must be a fucking weirdo because a wedding – a big fancy wedding – which is what we women all get hit over the head with as being something we’re all supposed to crave and desire and spend thousands if not millions on, does.not.appeal.to.me.
@MagdaInBlack: Now THAT, on the other hand, sounds like my kind of wedding!
Old School
Not many Swifties here tonight.
karen gail
Personally, I think big fancy weddings are a waste of money and time. Especially when the amount of money spent for one event could be used in so many other ways. You only NEED bride, groom and person officiating and a couple of witnesses; if you want a party throw a party. This is another one of those things that started out was big deal for royalty that has become and obsession for every day people who really can’t afford the lavish display.
I went to one wedding where the bride suggested that wedding gifts should be a couple of hundred dollars at least and she had a number of parties planned with gift lists for each party. Since it was a family member was required to attend but refused to spend the money on self centered little witch.
different-church-lady
Here’s hoping Trump and Epstein have even more things in common!
Kirk
@Miss Bianca: No, you’re not the only one. My wife wanted to elope. I talked her out of it.
35 years and counting later I don’t regret the marriage, but given what else went on I think she was right about the elopement.
Miss Bianca
@Baud: Thanks, but nope. Didn’t work.
@Timill: That one worked! Hmmm…off to do some gossip reading…
zhena gogolia
Wow, this is the War and Peace of blog posts. I’ll have to enjoy it later.
zhena gogolia
@John Cole: I think he was Richard Armitage’s boyfriend. Good taste.
Soapdish
@Rose Judson: It’s not great, but it is beautiful.
Ramona
@Miss Bianca: If I were to get married, I’d elope.
ThresherK
Okay, this boat is gonna sink. If God loves us, it will happen within Weird Al’s creative lifetime.
JoeyJoeJoe
@JCJ: fun fact about him: in 2012, he ran for congress against representative Tom Reed from upstate New York. He started off running as a democrat, but I think changed his mind and then ran as an independent. Regardless of party, I wanted to chance to celebrate his victory with bloodwine.
Regarding Lee Pace, I recommend the show Pushing Daisies
pluky
@Nettoyeur: Speaking for everyone who had to sit through a speech given by someone in your position who-just-would-not-shut-up, you killed it!
prostratedragon
@Rose Judson:
Like the most famous part* of the Verdi Requiem. At a preconcert talk recently the lecturer rather wickedly pointed out that, whenever Verdi thought the audience’s attention might start to wander, he threw that back in. Pretty sure that by the third time I was not the only audience member with a little inward smile.
* This right here
eclare
@Miss Bianca:
Nope. My fiance insisted on a big wedding when all I wanted was something in the backyard. I should have taken that as a sign, we lasted three years.
Jackie
@Miss Bianca:
Here’s Newsweek’s take:
schrodingers_cat
Good luck with the wedding prep,
Art Break:
I think this page from Magical Dawn, is almost done save a few details.
Bill Arnold
@BellyCat:
A cousin & spouse had a traditional silent meeting Quaker wedding.
Regular silent meeting.
As I recall it:
During the silence, they stood up together and said their vows to each other.
Sat back down.
Everyone (who wanted to) signed the witnessing document afterwards.
ETA: there might have been a pot-luck reception afterwards. Not sure.
VFX Lurker
Knowing nothing of the details, I’m guessing it’s the soonest that the show’s contracts will allow.
Betty
@narya: When two good people come together and promise to care for each other for life and really mean it, it is a beautiful thing that is wonderful to share with a loving community. Look at the meaningful aspect of the marriage as opposed to seeing a fancy and expensive show.
Steve LaBonne
Both of my weddings were modest in size and cost. The second and final one, about 12 1/2 years ago, took place in a cemetery!- namely, the incredible Louis Comfort Tiffany- decorated Wade Memorial Chapel at Cleveland’s historic Lakeview Cemetery. (We always enjoy telling people that we got married in a cemetery.) The reception was at a beautiful historic house owned by the Western Reserve Historical Society. The quite manageable cost was worth every penny to give our married life a proper start.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Our neighbor at the End of the Street has been fostering dogs for the last couple of months. The current one attacked my neighbor’s pug last week. Today I was walking my dog past their house and that f****** Mongrel pushed its way through the front door and attack my black lab. It was twice as big and my Yogi held his own and he came away with some cuts on his front leg. Animal Control already came to take the other dog away and to put it down. This is the second time I’ve had a dog of mine attacked and it really pisses me off. You may have heard me screaming get the f*** out of here from wherever you are currently sitting. I got about three solid kicks to the ribs in as well.
Bill Arnold
There are many fewer constraints on one’s behavior when not being regularly watched/monitored.
There can be considerable power in that.
Jackie
Damn it!
CBS is axing Stephen Colbert next season after he openly criticized them and Paramount, after they paid blackmail money to FFOTUS.
I hope Colbert finds a new home!
Rachel Bakes
Agree with all the stuff you just threw at us, John, but instead of picking it apart, I’ll stick to one thing.
The advice we give to every couple planning a wedding: all you need is you, Joelle, an officiant of some sort, and a witness.
Everything else is gravy plus the makings of a funny story later (or, knowing you, an epic rant). Like the usher’s wife who didn’t want to drive to our wedding in her new dress and instead changed in the belfry of the church minutes before I walked down the aisle. Delayed the wedding by 5 minutes but snapped my dad out of his emotional spiral.
Sure Lurkalot
@Miss Bianca: Nope, you’re not a big fucking weirdo. “Formal” weddings are expensive, stressful and (I’m going to just say it), humiliating. Daddy giving away his widdle princess to her prince, gag me.
I acquiesced to my parents’ expectations, me, I was totally happy “living in sin”.
At the end of the month, we will count 47 years from that not too fondly remembered day. We have enjoyed thousands of better days.
frosty
Ours wasn’t much different than this. Deputy Clerk of the District Court officiated and we each invited immediate family and two friends.
eclare
@Jackie:
I know! I’m sure he’ll end up somewhere, but instead of being free, it will be with a streaming service, which sucks.
If CBS thought what he said on Monday was bad, I have a feeling that CBS is going to be more upset after tonight. Colbert is not shy with his opinions.
mrmoshpotato
@Jackie: I wonder if he’ll address that tonight.
eclare
@mrmoshpotato:
Yes. I have no doubt. He mocked W to his face at the WHCD, he has no fear.
narya
Let me add that it’s the community (however constructed and whatever size) and the “witnessing” in my mind, not the size or fancyness, that seemed important to me. I completely understand not wanting to go all in on massive display.
@Betty: like you said
@BellyCat: that sounds lovely
prostratedragon
@Baud:
Surely they could think of a better lie. They insult us.
zhena gogolia
@Jackie: Wow. That is depressing. I haven’t watched him in a long time, but still depressing.
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: Lee Pace and Richard Armitage…together? Oh, myyy…
As Jayne from Firefly so eloquently put it: “I’ll be in my bunk.”
TS
@Jackie: But they said it is not political – hahahahaha
I did like Stephen’s comment on the payout by paramount
From WaPo
“While I was on vacation, my parent corporation, Paramount, paid Donald Trump a $16 million settlement over his ’60 Minutes’ lawsuit,” Colbert said on his show Monday.
“As someone who has always been a proud employee of this network, I am offended. And I don’t know if anything will ever repair my trust in this company, but just taking a stab at it, I’d say $16 million would help.”
He said the “technical name in legal circles” for the settlement was a “big fat bribe.”
And now he is fired – sure sounds like a request from the president.
geg6
@Old School:
Ha! I originally wanted to make a comment about that piece of shit Braun, who also abused his professional relationship with Kesha in addition to Swift. But a Substack alert came over my phone about the WSJ story. The link was to a Harry Dunn post that explained the story and quoted the entire letter. Trickles of smoke coming from that gun,
rikyrah
40th Anniversary Cast Announcement for Les Miserables 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8hgtoP6/
Ramona
@eclare: HBO and Next Week with Colbert?
eclare
@Ramona:
Could be! He and John Oliver are good friends and go way back.
prostratedragon
@eclare: I know of a big wedding at St. Thomas church on 5thAve that cost around $20,000 in 1970. The marriage didn’t last a year.
rikyrah
They have a revival of Evita in London
Part of it has the actress playing Evita singing it on a balcony, to an audience in the street. 🧐🧐
tiktok.com/t/ZP8hgC42M/
zhena gogolia
@rikyrah: Never heard of any of them!
u
I don’t know. Because I remain convinced that Trump’s base is both brainless and spineless (and because a high percentage of them are pedophiles) I think that the members of the cult of Trump will resume kissing his ass soon. But I’d be very happy to be proven wrong.
Jackie
@eclare: I still pull that up occasionally! Such a thing of beauty! Dubya and republicans really thought Colbert was “one of them”LOL! Their slow dawning realization that they’d been fooled… PRICELESS!
Harrison Wesley
@Miss Bianca: That’s me. Social phobia all the way. Voice over recording? No problem. Take a turn on stage? I’ll strut and fret all night. Intrduce myself to a new neighbor? You gotta be kidding.
Archon
@Ramona: Honestly I liked Colbert more as a straight up political satirist than a talk show host.
Shalimar
@John Cole: Wonderfalls, 2004 series that only made it 13 episodes, which you can find on YouTube. Pace was in his early 20s and played maybe the 5th or 6th regular, but he is very good in the screen time he got.
NotMax
@John Cole
Wonderfalls. Pushing Daisies. Halt and Catch Fire.
’nuff said.
eclare
@Jackie:
Also the slow dawning among many Republican reps who sat down for Better Know a District without doing their homework!
u
@eclare: I just looked up Colbert’s net worth. It’s about $75 million. He’ll be fine financially (unless ICE shows up and sends him to South Sudan). I hope that he publicly insults ABC and Paramount, naming the names of the executives who have shown themselves to be spineless shits. Fuck these people.
eclare
@Archon:
Same. But his monologues are still good.
Jackie
@Archon: Colbert tried to continue his act on CBS, but was dissuaded by the Bosses. I hope the old Colbert we all loved lands a spot. I still use the word truthiness.
;-D
Sister Golden Bear
I’m sure there’s a 24-hour drive-through wedding chapel where Elvis officiates 3 a.m. ceremonies. Just sayin’….
‘Course Joelle may have different ideas.
Ramona
@BellyCat: Cute wedding ceremony. Sorry that you are going through a tough time.
Ramona
@gene108: I second the DVT motion.
p.a.
Murdoch owns WSJ still, right? Am I overthinking, this is just about clicks and scoops, or deeper, as in “this idiot has taken us as far as he can and is unpopular already, time to grease his slide.”
I won’t watch Faux, but it’ll be interesting to hear how Rupert TV tries to backtrack what Rupert Newspaper reports. Diff audiences, so maybe no mentions on Faux.
MagdaInBlack
@Sister Golden Bear: See me at comment # 57 😉
Omnes Omnibus
@u: Colbert himself will be fine, but what happens to all the staff who make the show work? Will they land on their feet?
NotMax
@Jackie
Colbert will be 62 by the time the program is scheduled to end next May.
Fine age to retire and enjoy other pleasures.
Kristine
@suzanne:
We need better MOTUs because this current crop lost the single brain cell they shared some time back.
lowtechcyclist
Wait, you mean your wedding is 70 days from today? So your wedding’s on a Thursday? Whatever works for the two of you, it just tends to keep the guest list small. But of course it sounds like you wouldn’t mind that in the least.
BellyCat
@eclare: If you’ve never heard John Oliver on The Bugle, before he came to the U.S., he was UNPLUGGED.
NotMax
@gene108
Trouble is he also has chronic venal oversufficiency.
BellyCat
@Ramona: Thank you. It’s more than a little weird to have the person you once adored most (wife) now try and destroy you emotionally and financially for the “sin” of wanting to spend equal time with the person you now adore most (child). <shrug emoji>
Ramona
@Jackie: How could they have possibly not known that Colbert’s whole persona was satire?
Dan B
@Miss Bianca: Agree, what a pair of amazing actors, and gorgeous men. Pace is married to Matthew Foley who looks tiny next to him but is probably six feet tall. The way Lee looks at him you can tell he’s smitten. Also Lee Pace’s voice is captivating – bass baritone
And there are lots of gorgeous male actors but Lee Pace steals scenes and I don’t mind one bit.
eclare
@BellyCat:
Thanks, I’ll check that out!
Ramona
@BellyCat: I’ve never been married but I’ve noticed with others that the best of relationships founder over differences in well-ingrained beliefs about how their co-parent should interact with their child.
eclare
@BellyCat:
Oh gosh, sorry to hear that. Talk about foundation shaking.
Ramona
@NotMax: That’s trouble for us of course. Not for him. I’m sure you meant that. Just adding my two cents.
Princess
Cole, I don’t know if you’ll see this but I wonder if some cognitive behavioral therapy could help you, at least to get you through the big day. You are so highly motivated to do this right for Joelle that I think you’d be an excellent candidate for it. Now I’m going to go back and read the comments and find that 20 people have suggested the same thing.
BellyCat
@eclare: Look for an episode featuring an appearance by The American (who inevitably will talk about his jet ski). Oliver’s rapier wit is a thing to behold. Co host is great too.
The Bugle was so good (it was totally unscripted, clearly) that I actually can’t watch his show now because it’s “over-produced”. YMMV
Jackie
@Ramona:
Because he was so believable? Republicans weren’t exactly faithful Comedy Central watchers, so they only watched snippets of what appeared to be a Republican comedian…
If you haven’t watched that WH Correspondence Dinner, it’s available on YouTube. Just watch Bush’s face and the Republican faces in the audience. Absolutely Priceless.
narya
@Omnes Omnibus: during the writers’ strike he and the other late night guys did a podcast and donated to the strike fund, IIRC.
Quaker in a Basement
Sorry, but I couldn’t get past *six hours* of mowing. tha’ heck?
eclare
@BellyCat:
Will do!
Harrison Wesley
@NotMax: Not sure if you meant chronic renal oversufficiency, since he pisses on everything.
Gin & Tonic
I don’t believe anything short of the Grim Reaper himself will ever take this asshole down, but if I’m wrong and this Epstein story is the thing, and the final nail was hammered in by a Murdoch paper, that would just be galaxy-level funny.
Martin
@Quaker in a Basement: tenor.com/view/forest-gump-mowing-relaxation-gif-11997400
Ramona
Glenn Kessler just published a “Fact Checker” piece in the WaPo claiming there’s no evidence Trump was involved in Epstein’s wrongdoing and that it is Democrats who are fanning the flames of this issue and ends with the confident prediction that “we” are sure that when the files are released, Trump will not be implicated. There were more than 1500 skeptical comments in the first 52 seconds after this article appeared. IIRC, Kessler was the guy who claimed that no 10 year old had been raped in Ohio and needed an abortion.
LAC
I had a nice small wedding, been to large and small ones, and am excited to be attending a big Indian wedding this fall It is just a day you share with family and friends (unless you are a bald asshole in Venice). Got a lifetime to be a hermit with the one you love- maybe just breathe, put your anxiety visually on leaves drifting on a stream and bear it? The hard work of marriage is after that day.
Ramona
@Jackie: I did watch Colbert’s speech at the White House Press Corps dinner at that time but I’ll have to go back to get a view of Dubya’s face.
I cannot believe how much better in my mind the GWB I detested became after Trump I!
WTFGhost
@Ramona: He played it up really well. He didn’t even break character for people who were guests on the show intending to speak about important issues. He debated Wal-Mart with a guy who’d just written a book about why Wal-Mart was bad, and that guy did well.
Another person wanted to discuss sugar tariffs and got distracted when he did a 3-camera close-up “AAAAAUUGH!” and then dumps a 5lb sack of sugar all over himself. (Hey, kids, fun fact: sugar used to come in *5* pound packages, then someone sold *4* pound packages more cheaply, and guess what!)
I can’t blame the poor woman for being knocked off her feet, mentally speaking; I had a hard time stopping laughing enough to listen to what they were saying.
Jackie
@Quaker in a Basement:
Cole mows school grounds for supplemental cash during the summer.
Ramona
@WTFGhost: In the days of the Colbert Report, my then-boyfriend’s GOP voting-married-at-16 mother told her cousin then that they loved Colbert and I thought then that she was beginning to see sense but I over-estimated her, In all fairness, I was able to convince her about the truth of Climate Change. We were visiting one Christmas and as she and I were neatening up her living room, the TV was depicting an awful storm somewhere in the US and she said, why is this happening and I looked at her and said, “Climate Change”! and the scales fell off her eyes.
NotMax
@Harrison Wesley
I meant venal.
Ramona
@Jackie: Rewatching it now! He just finished the but about journalists’ job being to just type up what the POTUS press secretary says and the camera flashing to the unsmiling journalists. I do remember that and Scalia heartily laughing when Colbert acknowledges him with three hand gestures whipping out from under his chin.
Jackie
@Ramona: It’s still fun to watch, isn’t it! :-D
Ramona
@Jackie: Indubitably!
rikyrah
Cole, the wedding talk is so sweet🤗🤗😍😍
chrisanthemama
Not too late to elope. Fifty-five years and counting after our elopement.
coin operated
I would like to feel seen but, unfortunately, I fail at this every time.
Gloria DryGarden
In Colorado, you can grab a witness, and a license, and basically declare yourself married. Quick simple, you can choose any beauty spot in our mountains and wild lands, and you only need one more person. One of my friends did it that way. For people who like the beauty and ceremony, it wouldn’t do.
I’m relating to your need to be unseen, in several ways. Best compliment I got in high school was over hearing a friend call her mom, whole she was at my house for a sleepover. She said, Gloria isore interesting than i realized. How about that. I was usually shy and introverted except in class at school, and in one to one conversations.
However, I have to contend with visibility, somehow. I read poems at an open mic last night. Waiting for my turn I felt anxiety roaring in my veins. But it’s good to share the stuff I wrote. It went ok.
And since the best revenge is success, I need to tolerate getting good at, and being seen and appreciated for something. I need to write some books, and be at book signings, and I need to record some poems and songs on YouTube. It’s a scary thing, and it seems I’m saying yes, and no to it all at once. Perhaps others have navigated becoming more visible and have insights to share.
I have lived, thrived, being almost invisible, as a way to dodge unpleasant judgements and mean behaviors from family and others.
____
On the topic of corn, and hfcs, (fuck autocorrect) it’s really bad, it’s been harming Americans, it is linked diabetes. Perhaps causative. For me, it mucks with my neurotransmitters, and takes 5 difficult days to get through it. My brain chemistry gets so stuck , and not in a useful place. I have to read every darned label, to be sure.
Good luck with the dance between visibility, and disappearing into invisibility.
Eolirin
@Sure Lurkalot: How badly must someone’s marriage suck if the wedding was the high water mark? All downhill from here folks.
I don’t get it.
Harrison Wesley
@NotMax: Sorry!
Omnes Omnibus
@narya: One can’t expect Colbert to fund his crew indefinitely. I am sure he will do what can to help everyone move on to other shows, but people are going to be hurt because the network is having a hissy fit.
JaySinWa
@Gloria DryGarden: I thought the HFCS thing was kind of overblown, but my wife has developed IBS, HFCS shows up in all kinds of unexpected places. That and most artificial sweeteners may be triggers. Try and find ginger ale without one or the other. Some Kombucha drinks are what I can find.
None of that makes RFKjr+DJT less bad guys. Their solutions to even real problem are just bad.
Jackie
@Ramona: 😂 👍🏻
Jackie
Cole, as far as weddings go, whatever Joelle wants is all that matters. SHE KNOWS YOU and what you can and can’t tolerate. I think this is also her first marriage? Just go with the flow. It’s only a few hours of your life.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
NotMax
@JaySinWa
Here’s a couple found in chain grocery stores. There are also niche brands sold in select regional markets.
Jackie
Well, Sesame Street just got axed. Goodbye Big Bird.
JaySinWa
@NotMax: Thanks, I’ll look for Reeds, I’ve only seen that as ginger beer locally. I like ginger beer, but it’s too strong for what we’re after. They note that two of their test brands include fructose, but it wasn’t clear which and what others besides the top two were tested. Whole foods is kind of a last resort for me.
I’ve done home brew in the past, but not gotten great results.
prostratedragon
Some have pointed out that “enigmas” is an anagram for “gamines.” That could fit as a code between the two of them.
prostratedragon
@JaySinWa: San Pellegrino sodas use sugar and no hfcs. They have several orange variations, and lemon. I like them. They’re in many stores in Chicago, so probably in other places.
JaySinWa
@prostratedragon: Thanks, I didn’t know they did sodas.
Gloria DryGarden
@JaySinWa: reeds has several variations of ginger ale/ ginger beer. There’s one sweetened w honey, and none of them has hfcs. They have a pink one, cherry I think. I pretend I’m having champagne. Some people make a ginger bug at home, and make ginger ale from that. I’ve also thought of using ginger tea with lemon, lime and honey. Cool it down, add honey to taste, perhaps seltzer water.
I discovered my little problem with corn years before I read about how it was connected to American blood sugar issues. And I started tracking the symptoms, observed the 5 day run, if I forgot to read a label. Without corn, I’m way less depressed. What a life changing discovery.
Good luck to your wife. Yikes.
Gloria DryGarden
@prostratedragon: I love the San Pelegrín’s sodas. They are so delicious. They are, however, a subsidiary of Nestle; I do my best to boycott them, so I don’t drink them anymore.
blue sky has a line of sodas, sweetened with sugar, or with Stevia. Some sodas use erithrotol in their zero sugar lines. Some people do not get along with erythritol, and I hear it gives some people bowel issues.
@JaySinWa: Izze makes some lovely fruit juice based sodas, cans of pr bottles. I’m partial to their grapefruit soda, but all the flavors I’ve tried have been lovely.
Gretchen
@sab: I was trying on mother of the bride dresses, having trouble deciding. My daughter, the bride, helpfully informed me that it didn’t matter, nobody would be looking at me anyway…..
Betty Cracker
I also hate being the center of attention, and there’s no escaping it if you’re the bride or groom. In all of our wedding photos (nearly 30 years ago!), my bouquet is blurry because my hands were shaking so hard.
I remember my dad asking me if I was okay before we walked down the aisle. As it’s highly unusual for him to notice the mental state of any other human being, I can only conclude I must have visibly been a basket case. But we all got through it, and you will too, John!
prostratedragon
@Gloria DryGarden:
I did not kmow that; thanks for mentioning it. Hadn’t bought any in a while, and now what I have on hand will be the last for the duration.
prostratedragon
TS
@Ramona: Never had an argument with my partner until we had a child – about 10 years into the relationship. He just didn’t argue, I would try – and fail.
Children are life changing in so many ways. Fortunately we are still together 50 years on – arguments and all.
Nick
Hello Balloon Juice,
I am what you call a “lurker.” I read BJ every morning (and follow it up with Abbreviated Pundit Roundup on Kos). Have been for years. Your main people do a great job of talking me down from the ledge as I am pissed off at what is happening to our country. I felt compelled to finally write to you after reading Cole’s post this morning where he wrote, “Sweet fancy moses, that letter from Trump to Epstein has my Ho Yay! detector going off like one of those geiger counters in Chernobyl.”
I appreciate a good turn of phrase, and I get many while enjoying The Juice. I guess I’ll lurk a little longer so one day I might get to use of my own. “Stick with me, baby, and I’ll have you farting through silk in no time.” My wife swoons at my romantic offerings. At least she said she does.
Anyhoo ( to quote Betty Cracker) I am a 73 year old white guy living just a bit south of Ms. Cracker in Venice. As she often notes, this is MAGAT-ville (Make America Great Again Turds). Because of that, I tend to not get involved in local/regional/national politics down here because most people are too fucking stupid. Please note that I just illustrated why I can’t speak in meetings because I would not be polite to these MAGAT pieces of crap. My Representative is Greg Stupid, er, Steube.
Thank you all for what you do. Y’all provide an oasis for me in a desert of dung.
ron
everyone knows what the “glizz” part of the boat’s name means, right?