Those of you who have ever raised a teenage girl will understand this:
US President Barack Obama has warned his daughters that if they get tattoos, he and his wife will get matching ones on the same place on their bodies.
In an interview on NBC’s Today show, Mr Obama said he hoped the “family tattoo” threat would discourage teen rebellion.
Mr Obama said he had warned Malia, 14, and Sasha, 11, that he and First Lady Michelle Obama would show off their matching tattoos on YouTube.
I’m glad to see that the Obamas are getting a parental benefit from the Presidency, because it’s the YouTube part of the threat that is the real bite, and it only has bite because those kids know that Michelle and Barack showing tramp stamps on YouTube would be the first video to beat Gangnam Style.
raven
Like the girls could just wander over to Pain and Wonder and get inked!
The Other Bob
He needs to be careful not to overplay that hand.
I once warned my daughter that as a punishment I would embarrass her by dancing in front of her friends at her birthday party. The 7 year old called my bluff by requesting my dance moves in front of the crowd.
Humanities Grad
@The Other Bob:
Well, your screwup was timing. Of course that threat wasn’t going to work on a 7-year-old. Most 7-year-olds haven’t yet reached the stage where everything parents do is an embarrassment to them. At that age, parents acting goofy is just free entertainment.
By the time they’re TEENAGERS, though, that sort of threat will have a lot more bite.
Morzer
Rand Paul is now preparing the Sasha and Malia Body Ink Liberty Bill….
dmsilev
You’d think that experience raising a couple of kids would be about right for dealing with the Republicans in Congress. Maybe Obama should try to arrange a Justin Beiber concert for the House GOP or something.
Or at least send them to their room without dessert.
Todd
Can’t see POTUS with a scrolling YOLO throat tat…
Morzer
@dmsilev:
Unlike the GOP, Sasha and Malia have been well brought up and properly educated.
Face
Just curious….is there a mimimal age necessary to get a tat?
Morzer
@Todd:
You wait until one of the young ladies decides to get a Team USA butt tattoo, or whatever it is the kids on my lawn are rocking these days. If they still rock stuff, that is. Maybe they rap their tattoos, for all I know.
raven
@Face:
MikeJ
@Face: Seems to be 18 most places. In VA and MD, it’s 18 for a piercing, but earlobes are excluded.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
It’s indeed a pretty good threat for exactly the reason you noted. Many kids recognize their parents’ tattoo videos would go nowhere so the threat is just comical.
@raven: How is Mrs. Raven feeling?
Randy P
My then-18-year-old went to France one summer, and eventually admitted that she’d gotten a tattoo while there. I discovered that I didn’t have any particular feelings about it as a fait accompli. I might have thought it was a bad idea if she had asked (there’s a concept) but it’s her body. I’m still stuck mentally in the era where tattoos are something drunken sailors get and then regret. I accept my mind doesn’t match current reality so I keep my mouth shut on the subject in general
Citizen_X
THUG LIFE
Represent, Mr. President!
Raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Better, thanks. The 2 weeks off is a little difficult but I got her a picker upper thingy so she can putter better!
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Face: In most places, it’s 18 to walk into a tattoo parlor and get one. It’s not that hard to find someone who will do a crude tattoo if you want one, and if you are young and just want a tattoo, you’re gonna find a way to get one.
You know, being a teenager.
YellowJournalism
“If you don’t shape up, I’ll start posting to your Twitter feed and your Facebook. Your REAL ones.”
Modern parenting!
NotMax
@Raven
Hey, Raven.
As you have a more informed Peach State perspective, how about this bizarre Loudermilk fellow‘s chances?
Morzer
@NotMax:
Loudermilk sounds like an intestinal complaint. Which, admittedly, is more or less what the GOP are these days.
maurinsky
My nearly 16 year old is planning to get a tattoo when she turns 18. She wants to get “Bad Wolf” in circular Gallifreyan. I doubt she will do it, because she hates – HATES – needles.
Raven
@NotMax: I think the article speaks for itself. Motherfuckers iz nuts all around here.
Morzer
@maurinsky:
I am going to regret asking this, but what is circular Gallifreyan? Also, why bad wolf? Is it a Twilight thing among the youth?
jon
I sometimes threatened my daughter that I’d take her to a professional bra fitter. My then wife was more horrified than the daughter.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Morzer: Doctor Who.
ETA: Gallifrey is where the Doctor is from, the alphabet consists of shapes based on circles. Bad Wolf is a reference to Rose Tyler, the first companion when the series rebooted in 2005. The name turns up everywhere in reference to her.
jon
@Morzer: Doctor Who stuff. Probably less embarrassing in another decade than Twilight will be. Probably.
Certified Mutant Enemy
@Morzer:
Is it a Twilight thing among the youth?
No: Bad Wolf
Cacti
@Face:
Everywhere I’ve lived, it’s been 18.
Also too, it’s often against the law for the artist to give you one if you’re visibly intoxicated.
Morzer
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
They have bad wolves (or Bad Wolves?) in Doctor Who? I remember Davros and the Daleks and the Cybermen, but that’s about as far as it goes.
Something that amazes me – has John Cole given up on the Steelers and the NFL? I thought he’d be panting for the NFL draft and demanding that the Steelers take Manti Teo or some such.
Morzer
@Certified Mutant Enemy:
Zoiks! So that’s why those kids clustered on my lawn apparently speak an alien language. I thought understanding OOP was hard enough, but this is another dimension entirely.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Morzer: The way the story goes: Rose sort of becomes a god by merging with the soul of the Tardis. When she does this, she leaves the clue “Bad Wolf” throughout time to warn her self and the Doctor, so it keeps appearing before and after the events that caused it. When she get trapped in an alternate universe, the one place she and the Doctor could talk was called Bad Wolf Bay. Later on, when the Daleks try to destroy everything, causing the universes to bleed into each other, Rose leaves “Bad Wolf” as a clue to one of the Doctor’s other companions.
Omnes Omnibus
@maurinsky:
Better that than “Belle du Jour,” Billie Piper’s other well-known role.
Morzer
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
So this is that youth culture people keep talking about.
Interesting.
*puzzles over how Bad Wolf is a clue that would make sense to anyone*
Cacti
Personally, I think it would be kind of awesome to see the POTUS with a tramp stamp that said “Bootylicious” or something of the like.
But I doubt the First daughters would go for something so crass.
furklempt
Am I really the only one who, in my teenage form, would’ve taken papa prez’s threat as a challenge?
canuckistani
Dave Barry tells a delightful story of getting to drive around for a day in the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. As the responsible parent of a teenage son, he drove to his son’s school and requested that “Rob Barry report to the Wienermobile immediately!” over the loudspeaker.
He’s a man who knows how to embarrass a teenager.
wenchacha
The threat may work for a while. My own two offspring waited until they were legal in NYS at 18, then a little longer until they had the dough for what they wanted. Daughter got a Kurt Vonnegut quote, son got a zombie rising from the dead. Both of their tatts were tributes to dead friends.
The older kid has gone on to a couple more: went with a bunch of friends on a Friday 13th to get a discounted tatt associated with the day, and then one more to match a friend’s cupcake.
I’m also from the era when tattoos were taboo. Times change. Lasers can remove tattoos if the regret is too great.
The other part, which is a lesson of parenting: we don’t own our children’s bodies. Dire threats against tattoos really aren’t worth much once your kid moves out.
It would be kinda fun to see the entire Obama family sporting “Buck Fush” on a bicep, though.
Cacti
@wenchacha:
Parental disapproval only made the forbidden fruit of my first tattoo taste that much sweeter.
My advice to my childrens re: tats is more of the utilitarian variety. Don’t have a friend do it, b/c it will look like shite and is a good way to get hepatitis. And get it in a place that can be hidden by business dress, as you will have job interviews someday.
Schlemizel
My baby girl has not gotten a tat despite thinking she wants one. Scared of needles I guess. She did get a tongue stud, which I think is horrible but she is 25 now so what am I gonna do?
My boy got tats while in the Army. The funny part is he hid them from me when he got home because he knows I take dim view of them. Faced down the Taliban but frightened of dad HA! They are great when you are 19 but you are not 19 forever – the tats are forever (although a tat shop near us also offers laser tat removal TAKE THE HINT KIDS!
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Morzer: I think it’s meant to be a clue they can’t solve, they’re just meant to follow. They had to end up where they were to stop the Daleks.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Cacti: The daughter of some friends of ours lost out on the chance to get on the drill team at a college she wanted to go to because she got one across her stomach.
Morzer
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
Well, I am glad the Daleks are still around in the Doctorverse, or whatever the right term is. I hope the Master is still plying his evil trade too.
Omnes Omnibus
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): One can’t be a dancer at the Crazy Horse in Paris if one has a tattoo.
Morzer
@Omnes Omnibus:
Damn, another career option foreclosed.
maya
Skimming the comments I gather Death Before Dishonor is passe’. Totally.
Omnes Omnibus
@Morzer: It is okay; the place has a very narrow specifications for its dancers. If it wasn’t tattoos, it would probably have been something else. For example, are you between 5’6″ and 5’8″ in height? If not, you are out of contention.
One learns interesting (and other) things from books.
Schlemizel
THAT IS ALL
gelfling545
@Schlemizel: About 10 years or so ago when the tongue stud was popular among my daughter’s friends I had the exciting experience of transporting 3 of them at different times to the ER for infections. It’s hideously hard to keep clean during healing, apparently.
Schlemizel
@Omnes Omnibus:
I recall reading years ago that they had very strict requirements for ‘personal grooming’ and only allowed two sizes of ‘triangles’ petits et grands
danimal
I kinda think a teardrop tattoo may be a good move for Obama.
gelfling545
I recall a conversation about tatoos with a former colleague who was a Navy vet with a tattoo he got while in the service. I commented on how in NY State you can’t get a tattoo if you are obviously intoxicated (although I suspect this may be more honored in the breach)He said, “Jesus. How do they get anybody to get one then?”
Schlemizel
@gelfling545:
Yeah, and we had warned her about that but it didn’t stop her. She apparently did it right or just got lucky. I also worry about chipped teeth but that hasn’t happened either.
Morzer
@Omnes Omnibus:
I am heartbroken to discover that a 6’5″ moderately overweight man doesn’t fit their paradigm. I shall now turn to caffeine therapy for consolation.
heckblazer
My Republican lawyer father celebrated his retirement by getting a tattoo. He has since gotten two more. I suspect tattoos aren’t as transgressive as they once were.
Schlemizel
@Morzer:
Perhaps you should file an EEO complaint ;)
I for one know people used to pay good money to see a body like mine
Down at the Midway of the fair
SEE ZIPPER BOY! MORE SCAR THAN MAN!
25 cents at a time many of those folks became millionaires
Schlemizel
@heckblazer:
I always begged my kids to imagine what the tats would look like when someone was changing their diaper in the nursing home – at least getting the after retirement would leave them less saggy & blurry!
Morzer
@Schlemizel:
I am still waiting to see how my Brute Squad application goes. Apparently they want “team players with a pro-active approach to forest clearance”. I think I can roll with that.
Avery Greynold
The girls could threaten that their first tat would be a tramp stamp “Boehner’s Bitch”, but then Obama would call their bluff. After all, it’s already what they say when his back is turned.
maya
The badest tat eva!
Schlemizel
@Morzer:
I will just sit here pickling my liver & wait for Vasili!
Tone in DC
Obama should go “Pulp Fiction” and get a tattoo of what Jules had on his wallet.
me
@furklempt: I wouldn’t have but I’m sure some would say “challenge accepted”.
Elly
I’m 55 – so I’m also from the “tattoos-are-for-bikers-and-drunken-sailors-era.”
So what?
I got a beautiful custom tattoo (a phoenix) inked on my right calf about 3 years ago – it does a fabulous job of covering a silver-dollar sized patch of spider veins (a legacy of two pregnancies) that proved impervious to (a far more expensive) round of sclerotherapy. Wish I’d done it sooner!
If my daughter (age 20) – or son (age 23) wanted tats, I’d be 100% ok with it. My daughter, in particular, is a talented fantasy artist, so I know in advance that she’d choose something intricate and interesting – I seriously doubt she’d permit her body to be used as a canvas by anyone less skilled than she is.
TBH, I feel sorry for Sasha and Malia – their parents are embarrassing them already, and they’ve done nothing to deserve it. I understand why: they’re under intense public scrutiny and every perceived teenaged misstep – no matter how small – will be amplified by the media and right-wing echo chamber. Thus, the girls are required to be perfect – which sucks, IMHO.
Emma
@Avery Greynold: Do you enjoy being an ass or is it part of your spiritual practice?
McJulie
I think I must be of the generation right at the tattoo inflection point. (Born in 1966)
I remember vividly when all my friends read Modern Primitives and got various things pierced and decorated. It seemed moderately transgressive in those days, like sporting a mohawk. But with every year since, it has seemed less and less significant.
danielx
Bonus points for anyone who has ever had a teenage daughter howl/scream/snarl at them: “You just don’t understand!”
danimal
@danielx: I get that at least once a week.
Almost always the problem is that I DO understand.
Gustopher
Sasha and Malia need to get tramp stamps painted on, tell their parents that they are real tattoos, and then wash them off after their parents get matching real tattoos.
They would then be the most awesome kids ever.
stella
What if his daughters are like me. What if they end up surviving rape or some other terrible abuse and getting a tattoo that says brave woman, like I did, or something else meaningful is part of reclaiming their bodies and showing their strength? I guess Obama getting a tattoo that says brave woman in support of his daughter might actually be a very good thing. Right?
NotMax
@Belafon (formerly anonevent)
Sort of a Canis Ex Machina?
patrick II
The MAD strategy is the same one Obama used to negotiate the sequester with congress. If he has the same level of success poor Malia and Sasha will have as many tattoos as Dennis Rodman.
canuckistani
@danielx:
I start out with a preemptive “I just don’t understand”.
Trumandem
As a father and teacher whenever I get asked for an opinion on tats I always leave them with this: “If you are determined to get a tat no matter what at least wait until you are 30. Most human beings are still evolving as a person until our early 30’s after which you start getting set in your ways, values and belief systems. More than likely your tat will reflect that. Otherwise you will regret it later. OTOH, if you are the same person at 35 that you were at 15/16 then wanting to get a tat is minor compared to the fact you haven’t grown or evolved as a person since then for which you have real problems.
rachel
My sister’s biker chick friend:
Susan S
Oh goody.. I get to tell my favorite-moment-as-a-mom tale.. when my son was 16 or so, he was a hulking muscled cross between my Scottish kin and his father’s African genes..and as such, I think I gave up on spanking [and yes, in the 70’s, one did still paddle a diaper-padded bottom] when he was a toddler.. but as a teenager, I would occasionally swat him on his well muscled upper arm for effect. So, we are driving along one day..and he says something not so cute..and I respond as a great mother & swat him on this 12 inch bicep…and tears start to flow down his cheeks. I say, “Quincy, what?? I couldn’t possibly have hurt you with that?” And thru braced teeth he confesses that he got a tattoo the day before..and knowing I was categorically against same..hadn’t told me. And I had just swatted him in that oh so painful spot! So..I sat there..laughing..and feeling sort of bad because I didn’t mean to hurt him but it was such justice and he knew it. He has gone on to get a number of tatoos but very few if any show..he does after all work in the investment world..I buy vintage Pucci, he gets tattos. I tell him its his African heritage..but of course none of his uncles or father or grandfather has such an urge. My daughter has absolutely no desire for a tattoo..anywhere. I suspect the Obamas should chill out..I certainly had to.
davebo
Hell, five years in the Navy and at least two trips to the parlor (that I can remember at least) and I’m tattoo free.
Not that I care about the tattoo craze that has been going on for the last 15 years or more. I know CEO’s of fortune 500 companies that have them on their lower arms.
I just never thought up something poignant or clever enough to justify a permanent place on my body.
But I absolutely love the redneck with tattoos of his favorite professional wrestler on his calf! Wasn’t it a professed redneck who complained that certain people should wear a stupid sign?
brendancalling
Hmm. On the opposite end of the spectrum, when my son wants his first tattoo, I’ll be joining him to get my next.
brendancalling
@maurinsky: I’m getting my son’s name on my left pec (over the heart) in Gallifreyan. And it will be awesome.
Felinious Wench
I have one on my wrist, goddess symbol. Got it after the birth of my second son. With all the males in this house I needed some female energy.