Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

T R E 4 5 O N

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

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77Comments

  10. 10.

    Brandon

    Those rankings are a bit of a joke. Vikings ranked too high and Seattle too low. But whatever. All that matters is what happens on the field. And come Sunday after the Seahawks wipe the floor with a hapless St. Louis team a lot of heads will turn.

  11. 11.

    Punchy

    And come Sunday after the Seahawks wipe the floor with a hapless St. Louis team a lot of heads will turn. nod gently in a unsurprised, big-whoop fashion.

    Ficksed.

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    BJ Poll Question —

    Who is the worst among these 3:

    KC
    Ch’oakland
    St. Louass

    I vote KC. I suspect/predict 1 win this year.

  13. 13.

    joe from Lowell

    Nowhere to go but up, Morbo!

    Gosder Cherilus is the real deal. Best pick the Lions ever made.

    I can only assume that, somewhere in the NCAA, there is a tall wide receiver named Chosder Gerilus with blinding speed, as well as a history of ankle injuries, firearms convictions, and baby mommas. It’s the only reasonable explanation.

  14. 14.

    John D.

    So, John, will I be able to hear you wail and gnash your teeth all the way over here when the Titans win tonight?

    Just curious.

    (Seriously, I expect the Steelers to win, but I expected them to win LAST year, especially once Haynesworth went down, and we all know how that worked out.)

  15. 15.

    joe from Lowell

    The Chiefs have Mike Vrabel and Matt Cassel. They’ll be respectable, even if they don’t hit .500.

    Man, the Raiders like old defensive linemen almost as much as they like young wide receivers. Is Ted Washington still on that team?

    The Rams…oh, man, what happened there? There’s your cellar dwellers.

  16. 16.

    John D.

    @Morbo: Morbo, you have it all wrong. You’re free.

    All Lions fans — YOU ARE FREE!

    You literally *cannot* do worse. Nobody else in the entire NFL fanbase has that kind of assurance. Revel in it. Enjoy it to the fullest.

  18. 18.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Cleveland is 32nd and last in the power rankings. The NFL Seabiscuit. WE have ever body right where we want them.

  21. 21.

    Adso

    The power rankings are cool but why is NE considered #1? I agree with Banks that their defense could prove to be their Achilles heel this season. But all that has to happen is for Tom Brady to come back and they’re #1? Sixburgh won a Super Bowl last year and have 22 of 24 starters returning this year and have shored up what was arguably their worst performing squad (special teams) but, y’know, it’s all about Brady.

    I’m with you, John. I can’t think about anything else right now; TiVo didn’t tape America’s Game last night and I have to wait until 3pm today to try and get it again.

    Go Steelers!

    And for you long-suffering Cardinals fans, I’ll say this for your team: Yinz guys have a really nice stadium! ;-)

  24. 24.

    Awesom0

    I live in Switzerland and spend way too much time and money to sublet my apartment in Wash, DC, just so I could install a Slingbox and watch all the NFL games live (albeit it, really late at night).

    I have a problem…

    All that said; I grew up in Colorado so I will always be a die hard Broncos fan. However, the Steelers have always been my default team. Great fans, great owners, great town.

  25. 25.

    DZ

    I attended my first Lions game with my father in 1953, and I have been a fan ever since even though I haven’t lived in Detroit since 1983. No return on investment at all. At least the Tigers gave me 1968 and 1984.

  29. 29.

    TheFountainHead

    Last week I told my girlfriend she could come over tonight and I’d make her dinner before her big presentation at work on Friday. I forgot about the game at the time. Any thoughts on how I can get out of this dinner thing without giving up the girlfriend at the same time?

    I really need to use the calendar thingy on this iPhone more better.

  31. 31.

    Dork

    @Punchy: My buddy plans to win the suicide pool this year by picking every single week against the Lions. He’s expecting them to lose 16 again this year. Honestly, if they do, that may be the most impressive feat evah.

    Of those teams, Oakland is the worst, by a mile.

  32. 32.

    Punchy

    @joe from Lowell: If by “they have Matt Cassel”, you mean “they have Matt Cassel currently with a injured knee and a O-line so horribly bad that he’s almost guarenteed to be lost for the season with another injury very soon”, then you’re correct.

    Preseason, I understand, but still…..the Chiefs lost to the Rams already. Transitive property and all that.

  33. 33.

    Napoleon

    @cia:

    On normal votes sometimes someone who is for the issue votes against it when it is clearly going to loose because only someone who votes no can move to reconsider, but you would think motions to reconsider would not apply to closure votes, but I could be wrong.

  34. 34.

    Napoleon

    @Napoleon:

    PS, Webb would be a natural to vote the wrong way. I assume the do it in alphabetical order so that by the time they get to W Reid would know which way the vote is going and Webb could throw his vote to the noes so that he could later move to reconsider.

  35. 35.

    Awesom0

    @DZ

    Really? Direct TV works in Europe? I thought it might, but was told – repeatedly – that it would not.

    Thanks for the info. I seriously need to consider this!

  37. 37.

    Moonbatting Average

    If I start reading any “Stairway to Seven” stuff around here, somebody’s getting a sternly-worded letter

  38. 38.

    Adso

    @Crashman06: I like football smack talk as much as the next person but it really bugs me that it always has to devolve into sexist ranting. Women like the Steelers, but not “normal women”. No, only 300 lb, cock-blocking, cock-eyed, bacon smelling, Rolling Rock sucking imitations of women are Steeler fans. Ug. I lol’d most of that Deadspin rant but the misogyny is (in an appropriate PGH metaphor) a bridge too far.

  40. 40.

    edmund dantes

    I’m a Patriots fan myself, and I don’t get the people putting the Pats #1 in power rankings. I definitely get putting them in the Top 5 (or 3), but the defense is different enough (even moreso now with the Seymour trade) that I could see it being a real problem. The Patriots might be #1 by the time this season ends, but they could just as easily be further down if the defense becomes problematic.

  42. 42.

    DZ

    @awesom0:

    Oh, it works just fine, but it was complicated to arrange. DirecTV told me repeatedly that it wouldn’t work. Finally, while I was arranging deinstallation and reinstallation to put a new roof on my house, a customer service rep admitted that it would work but said they had no way to get it installed or supported. The technician who reinstalled everything told me that if I could find a technician in France, it could be done. at his instruction, I ordered a second dish and hi-def receiver for my house here in Portland. The samer tech came to install, tested it and repackaged it. I took it to France, found a technician who could do the install, and I have DirecTV with Sunday NFL ticket.

  43. 43.

    Crashman06

    @Adso: That’s a good point, and one I really hadn’t thought of. Lots of people look at sports as guys only, especially on Deadspin, so there’s lots of casual misogyny. I should have thought twice before posting that link. My apologies!

  45. 45.

    JHF

    Guess I’m a weirdo. Haven’t watched pro football in 15 years or teevee at all for 12 years. Can’t even name all the teams or tell you who played in the last Super Bowl! Used to love college football because those guys at least had true loyalty for their fellow students and fans…

    Paid gladiators working for the highest bidder just don’t spin my wheels. But I’m delighted everyone else has something to be excited about. :-)

  46. 46.

    Corner Stone

    Just gonna sit back and enjoy my Texans mediocrity of .500 ball, thankyouverymuch.
    We’re like the Swiss Watchmakers of the NFL.

  48. 48.

    flukebucket

    Clemson versus Georgia Tech.

    I’ll take college football over professional football any and every day of the week.

  49. 49.

    Adso

    @Crashman06: It’s cool Crashman06! I wasn’t aiming that comment at you so much as pointing out something that bugs me generally about being a fan of football online. I really like Deadspin and some of those “complaints” about Pittsburgh fans were in some ways open-handed compliments (not the women stuff though).

    Please don’t think I presume any misogyny on your part because you linked to an article that contained some. I don’t (and the crack about 10 Steeler bars in Alaska was really funny!).

  52. 52.

    Joel

    I’m a Patriots fan, but losing Seymour should drop them a spot or two. I still think it was a good trade; they’re a contender, he’s often injured, and a Raiders first rounder is usually a good one to have. But still, no doubt it hurts them this season.

  54. 54.

    Adso

    @Joel: So Patriot fans, who would you pick to win tonight? I think Pgh (yes I’m a total Homer) but I don’t know that they’ll cover the spread. Btw, I pick the Pats on Monday. Don’t know the spread for that one.

  58. 58.

    asiangrrlMN

    Ah, yes, the beginning of the NFL season. Such hope. Such promise. Such–what? Brett Favre????? Aaaaargh!!!!!! Noooo!!!!!! Tuuuuuuunch!!!!!!

    P.S. Troy Polamalu. That is all.

  60. 60.

    Redshirt

    It occurred to me recently that IF (BIG IF) the Steelers win it all again this year, then suddenly there is a legitimate debate about who is “The Team of the Decade”.

    I’d still say it’s the Pats, above and beyond the 3 superbowls, you have the perfect season/tragic superbowl lost (seriously? Catch on your helmet?!), and, I think it’s fair to say Lord Belichick has changed the game over the past ten years, and everyone’s playing (or attempting to) a Patriot’s Game.

    Plus, the Hoodie.

  61. 61.

    robertdsc

    Plus, the Hoodie.

    Those things are c.o.m.f.o.r.t.a.b.l.e. No joke. In exchange for installing my parents’ Samsumg HD TV that came with a gift certificate to the NFL Shop, they bought me one. That hoodie is the best thing ever.

  64. 64.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Redshirt:

    you have the perfect season/tragic superbowl lost (seriously? Catch on your helmet?!),

    Those who remember the “tuck” don’t consider that loss so tragic.

    I’ve got some Titans on my fantasy league team, but I sat them all out this week because of the Pittsburgh game. Football!

  65. 65.

    Punchy

    @Redshirt: Belicheat could die falling down his stairs and I’d only be so heartbroken as to contain a smile.

    Yes, this is the degree to how much I hate that cheating prick bastard.

    That said…..go Wes Welker! (damn you fantasy team!)

  66. 66.

    Mike T

    Jeez those are some terrible rankings. The Packers at 3? The Colts at 12? The Cardinals at 19? The Buccaneers at 30?

  67. 67.

    Redshirt

    Those who hate the Dark Lord Belichick simply have yet to understand his Grace. But fret not, for all your times will come, when the Wrath of Bill is upon you. REPENT NOW AND JOIN THE PATRIOTS BANDWAGON!

    Also, the tuck call was a legitimate interpretation of the rules as they were. But at this point, I think Raider’s fans forget they had plenty of chances to win that game. They simply did not take advantage.

  68. 68.

    jl

    Post Lily pics so we can see what you made your poor dawg wear. And History will note it well, and remember.

  69. 69.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @JHF:

    You’re not alone; I haven’t watched a down of pro or college ball for several years now. I don’t know what changed, whether it was the game or the presentation or me, but I honestly cannot give a damn about it anymore. But, what the hell…

    Go Oilers!

  71. 71.

    robertdsc

    But at this point, I think Raider’s fans forget they had plenty of chances to win that game. They simply did not take advantage

    No doubt. The tuck play was on the drive that enabled the Pats to TIE the game. The Raiders got the ball back and chose to sit on it.

    Then came overtime. The play that broke it open was a running play on 3rd & 4 (IIRC), and the RB broke two Raider tacklers to gain extra yardage and a first down. The play after that was the one that went for long yardage to get in Vinatieri’s range.

    Back in the day I knew all the names and the plays, but it’s receded in my mind. But I’ve fought this battle too many times with Raider Nation to forget the basics, lol.

  73. 73.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Redshirt:

    Also, the tuck call was a legitimate interpretation of the rules as they were. But at this point, I think Raider’s fans forget they had plenty of chances to win that game. They simply did not take advantage.

    I’m not a Raiders fan by any stretch of the imagination. I just hate the Pats and their pretty boy QB.

  75. 75.

    Rob C.

    HELP! I’m a humongous Steelers fan but in this, my first ever year in a fantasy football league, I have the Titans defense. Talk about torn.
    update – the Steelers just TD’d1 Yeah! oh no! Yeah! Oh no!

  76. 76.

    Paul in KY

    John, sorry you lost Polamalu for awhile. That was a wicked shot he took. I did think he had a cheap shot himself when he tackled Johnson well out of bounds (if it had been a little more out of bounds, I would have supported his ejection).

    Hell of an opening game, though. They were really hitting out there.

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