• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

Giving up is unforgivable.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

I really should read my own blog.

We are learning that “working class” means “white” for way too many people.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

When I was faster i was always behind.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Mobile Menu

  • 4 Directions VA 2025 Raffle
  • 2025 Activism
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Humorous / Amusing Quips

Amusing Quips

by John Cole|  November 11, 200510:24 am| 14 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

FacebookTweetEmail

I just found this amusing, for no other reason than there has been little to laugh at as of late:

Oh, boy. First, the grand jury that heard the original testimony has expired. If Fitzgerald is pursuing this, he must have read back transcripts of the relevant material to an existing grand jury, and they must be begging for the book-on-tape version about now. Not all the US sanctioned torture is happening in Eastern Europe.

Heh.

And this is where some earnest liberal comes and scolds me that torture is not funny, under any circumstances.

*** Update ***

First runner-up goes to Navy SEAL Froggy, of Froggy Ruminations, regarding whether or not WP is a ‘chemical weapon’:

Wanna know beyond reasonable doubt that Willie Pete does NOT create a “lethal cloud” spanning a 1/4 mile? Because it comes in phreaking hand grenades with a fuze of less than 5 seconds. I’m pretty sure if you threw one, you wouldn’t be able to unass the area in 5 secs.

Second Runner-Up in the amusing quip contest goes to Neil, in this post on on ‘race-based medicine’:

You know, if they found a heart disease medication that only worked on white people, it wouldn’t be called “race-based medicine” .. it’d just be called “medicine.”

More of this, please.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « RIP, Steve Courson
Next Post: Harnessing the Moon »

Reader Interactions

14Comments

  1. 1.

    p.lukasiak

    November 11, 2005 at 10:36 am

    The reason its not funny is that it probably wouldn’t take that long to read the relevant parts of the transcripts, and relate the other relevant information, showing that Rove is lying.

    Basically, FitzG could simply present this other grand jury with a pre-written indictment which establishes probably cause, answer a few questions from the grand jury, and get his vote.

  2. 2.

    apostropher

    November 11, 2005 at 10:38 am

    John, torture is not funny under any circumstances.

    Unless you’re torturing a clown.

  3. 3.

    Jcricket

    November 11, 2005 at 10:44 am

    I wonder who will do the book-on-tape reading?

    Perhaps Colin Powell will volunteer? “And over here you can see the leaker, and the leaker’s mobile lab”

    Charlton Heston? “Get your hands off me you damn dirty leaker”

    Maybe Rumsfeld? “Rove didn’t go the press with the leaks he wanted, he went with the the leaks he had”

    Cheney himself? “Go l**k yourself”

  4. 4.

    John Cole

    November 11, 2005 at 10:45 am

    Heh.

  5. 5.

    a guy called larry

    November 11, 2005 at 10:52 am

    I thought the baseball analogy was torture enough, thank you.

  6. 6.

    DougJ

    November 11, 2005 at 11:13 am

    Did you actually think that was funny?

  7. 7.

    Mr Furious

    November 11, 2005 at 11:42 am

    So John, as a former military man, is “unass” a common phrase for “get the hell out of there”, or what?

    I could get into using something like that…

  8. 8.

    Jcricket

    November 11, 2005 at 11:46 am

    unass = de-assify the area = remove one’s own ass from the location where the grenade was dropped. Most soldiers aren’t particularly interested in becoming suicide bombers.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    November 11, 2005 at 11:54 am

    Mr. Furious-

    YEah. I forget that certain phrases are pretty exclusive to the military. I had one CO who was known to bellow at people he was unhappy with to “Unass my AO (area of operations),” meaning get out of my face.

    The other day I used a phrase that I heard a lot in the military, and that was ‘No Screaming Eagle Shit.’

    I wonder how many people know what that means and whether it was armywide or just something I heard people say in my units.

  10. 10.

    Steve

    November 11, 2005 at 12:27 pm

    My father says that on payday in the Air Force they used to say “the eagle shits tonight.” I never know whether to believe my father.

  11. 11.

    jg

    November 11, 2005 at 12:49 pm

    Wanna know beyond reasonable doubt that Willie Pete does NOT create a “lethal cloud” spanning a 1/4 mile? Because it comes in phreaking hand grenades with a fuze of less than 5 seconds. I’m pretty sure if you threw one, you wouldn’t be able to unass the area in 5 secs.

    This would only be true if anyone thought an instant 1/4 mile cloud would appear the second the pin was pulled. Still funny tho. ‘Unass the area’. LOL Military talk is hilarious. I’m going to start telling people to unass my cube when they hang around to long.

  12. 12.

    Jcricket

    November 11, 2005 at 4:20 pm

    You know, if they found a heart disease medication that only worked on white people, it wouldn’t be called “race-based medicine” .. it’d just be called “medicine.”

    This was, in all seriousness, part of the plot of a recent episode of House (Fox show). A black patient didn’t want the medicine that was known to work better on blacks with heart disease, for a combination of reasons: One, fear that whites were performing medical experiments (again) on blacks; Two, under the misguided notion that “black medicine” was worse than the “white medicine”.

  13. 13.

    Matt

    November 11, 2005 at 6:18 pm

    Oh come on. Obviously the effects of WP depend on the quantity used and the method of delivery.

  14. 14.

    Jon H

    November 12, 2005 at 3:50 pm

    “Wanna know beyond reasonable doubt that Willie Pete does NOT create a “lethal cloud” spanning a 1/4 mile? Because it comes in phreaking hand grenades with a fuze of less than 5 seconds. I’m pretty sure if you threw one, you wouldn’t be able to unass the area in 5 secs.”

    And mustard gas is also harmless if deployed in small enough amounts, too.

    And high explosive could never knock down a building or a dam or a bridge. That’s crazy talk. After all, it comes in *bullets*. Big ones, but they’re still bullets.

    I’m just saying.

    It’s not like WP is *only* used in hand grenades.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Photo by OzarkHillbilly (3/4/26)

We Met Our Goal for Alaska!

Election Resources

Voter Registration Info – Find a State
Check Voter Registration by Address

Recent Comments

  • Mr. Bemused Senior on “One day, he is not going to be president anymore…” (Mar 4, 2026 @ 4:11pm)
  • HopefullyNotCassandra on “One day, he is not going to be president anymore…” (Mar 4, 2026 @ 4:09pm)
  • WTFGhost on Plagues & Pandemics Update – March 4, 2026 (Mar 4, 2026 @ 4:09pm)
  • Gin & Tonic on “One day, he is not going to be president anymore…” (Mar 4, 2026 @ 4:08pm)
  • HopefullyNotCassandra on “One day, he is not going to be president anymore…” (Mar 4, 2026 @ 4:07pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
On Artificial Intelligence (7-part series)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Outsmarting Apple iOS 26

Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Order Calendar A
Order Calendar B

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix
Rose Judson (podcast)

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Privacy Manager

Copyright © 2026 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!