For whatever reason-maybe I was slightly peevish, maybe I was feeling slightly cantankerous, maybe I was just ready for this election to be over- I went out and had a liquid dinner. Well, not actually, but I did have a bottle of red with my meal.
And, as I was sitting there enjoying my meal, a plan was hatched. As I speak, mom is digging up pictures of me in Halloween costumes past, and hopefully dad will scan some by tomorrow.
Why? Because I love you. Consider this your open thread, and consider this your opportunity to send in pictures of yourself in embarrassing Halloween costumes (MAKE SURE YOU NAME YOUR PICTURE WITH YOUR COMMENTING HANDLE). My favorite from grad school was me as John Daly’s Caddy, when all I did was wear a caddy uniform with a golf bag full of empty tequila and beer bottles and a sign on my back like a caddy wears that said “Daly, BAC .28” instead of a number.
Hopefully mom will find the picture I am looking for, and it will be pretty damned funny.
Far Left American Hater Incertus
No picture, but the best costume I ever had was as Silent Bob, complete with my own sidekick Jay–the worst Jay in the history of Jays. My car’s emergency brake didn’t hold and my car went rolling off into a gully, so I spent two hours waiting for AAA to come out to the middle of nowhere to pull it out.
And open-thready-wise, I’m looking to post a series of songs leading up to election day. I started with Mosh, by Eminem, but I’m looking for suggestions.
LiberalTarian
Heh. I am looking forward to seeing what John Cole looks like–even if he’s in costume and it’s 20 years ago. :)
Comrade Stuck
Er, I quit dressing up for Halloween when I was like 11. By the time I got to Grad School, I was drinking bottles of Wine and thinking up all kinds of crazy shit to do. The kinds of shit I usually regretted the next day/
cleek
FYI: sounds like Pammycakes is about to win "Worst Person" on Olbermann for her Barack-X thing today.
John Cole
@LiberalTarian: Honestly, like a cross between a taller Drew Carrey and Jim Gaffigan. Plus, I lost my girlish figure. Used to be 6’1″ 190 when I was in the Army, but now I am a lot, lot more.
John Cole
@cleek: KO reads this site. Or one of his staff does. I know it.
gbear
Man, Obama’s campaign sure knows how to take the wind out of McBlognut’s campaign. Robots Attack!
cleek
@John Cole: "KO reads this site"
everybody wave!
ninerdave
@John Cole:
Didn’t you get a mention on Countdown like last year?
My best (or worst) was dressing up in drag, the first time I went to the Castro Halloween party. I’ve never been more groped in my entire life. I used to have a picture of that costume, complete with fake pearls, when I was laying seductively on my roommate’s car.
Ned R.
Definitely had a few good costumes over the years when I was young (the Pac-Man one in 1982 was my finest hour…or was it Raistlin in 1987?) — only one photo to hand, though, but I’ll let John judge whether it’s worthy or not…
gbear
What, are you 6’8" now?
Myself, I’d be height/weight proportional if I was 9’3".
Never been a big fan of Halloween, but if you want to go out to see great costumes, you need to go to a gay bar. Halloween is always an over-the-top extravaganza of creative impulses.
Mr Furious
No pics, but one of my favorite costumes was a total last-minute job: I threw on a bathrobe, wet my hair down and put shaving cream on my head with a line down the middle—voilá! Tegrin Man!
I walked around the party announcing, "the tingle tells me it’s working."
Okay. Maybe that costume sucked after all.
demkat620
Who is that? Am I too old and uncool to know now?
Comrade Stuck
Too funny. Come to think of it, Goldfarb has an eery resemblance to Gort from TDTESS. Gortfarb, that’s it.
JL
So is this a good time to start planning our election night party?
Mr Furious
There’s nothing cool about Jim Gaffigan.
cleek
Jim Gaffigan.
comedian. he’s a Comedy Central staple.
Larry Craig nee Crusty Dem
When I was 7 I had a Jawa costume for Halloween, my best ever. My father made used a pair of LED lights, a circuit board, and a pair of swim goggles to make the red flashing eyes; that and a monk’s robe and I was set.
I was destined to be a dork..
Mr Furious
I stand corrected. I just watched cleek’s link… a slow start, but after about the 1:30 mark I couldn’t stop laughing. And I’ve never even had a Hot Pocket™.
I was thinking of whatever lame-ass sitcom he had.
D-Chance.
I think I heard something on NPR that came close to topping that Cindy Jacobs chick from CBN. They interviewed Nicole Wallace (sp?) from the McCain campaign. She actually compared Obama’s redistribution to a customer stiffing the waitress in order to give the homeless guy outside the restaurant some loose change (the idea of giving to both never crossed the customer’s mind, I guess).
Did anyone else hear that interview this evening, dinner-hour or thereabouts? And if so, is there a link to it online? Because the whole thing was fabulous. The NPR babe first nailed Wallace with a "gotcha" when she played a clip of McCain admitting that Obama wasn’t a Socialist. Then, interrupted Wallace twice as she tried to evade a question by invoking Joe the Plumber (NPR babe: "Uh, Joe the Plumber isn’t running for President"). Then, Wallace blurted out the comparison of Obama’s plan to the waitress/bum. I almost wound up in the ditch when she said it… it was THAT kind of "huh… wtf?" moment.
Comrade Stuck
Damn liberal activist court are at it again.
Poor wingnuts. They can’t buy suppressed vote these days.
Just Some Fuckhead
Back in the 90s, me and my drinking buddies used to win a lot of Halloween costume contests as Hooters girls. And yeah, I got pics. And no, I won’t be sharing.
Mr Furious
What’s up with that edit, cleek? Afraid to stand by your "funny, funny guy" statement?
Mr Furious
OT: cleek, where in NC are you?
That One - Cain
Sorry, off topic again :) (sue me.. bitches)
I was pondering since Obama is planning on putting in both republicans and democrats into his administration, ya think a democratic majority in congress will approve of his candidates? Morever, what will our democratic partisans think? We’re in for some interesting couple of months starting January.
I’m going to start fucking assuming Obama becomes Prez.. I just gotta. I know I’m jumping the gun, but I don’t fucking care.
cain
cleek
when i was ten or so, i went as a ghost. my stepmother sewed me an all white robe, made from old sheets. and for a hood, she took a pillow case and cut eye holes into it. point part up.
it took me a few years, but i eventually figured out that i looked exactly like a little Klansman.
cleek
in my memory, he was really funny. but as that Hot Pocket thing played in the other tab … i realized my memory was wrong.
outside of Raleigh.
TheFountainHead
That Robots Attack ad is freakin’ brilliant.
Mr Furious
You didn’t stick with it long enough. I was ready to bail after a minute, but it got better…
We just relocated to Asheville from Ann Arbor…
Halteclere
When I was in 3rd grade (1980 I think) my father and an uncle made me a kick-ass Darth Vader costume. The helmet was spot-on, made from a hard hat, parts of cardboard, a milk jug and some screen mesh. I was first in my class, and 3rd in my whole elementary school.
My father and uncle made an R2-D2 costume for my brother (he was in 2nd grade) whose dome rotated, the back legs and front tripod properly swivelled – the whole works. He only got 2nd in his class, being beat by some kid wrapped in tinfoil who called himself a robot. To this day my brother is still pissed about that.
I wish I had pictures of those costumes.
cleek
hmmm. well, that could be… i had to run downstairs to see what K.O. did to Pamtard, after a couple of minutes of it
Asheville is great. we do a long weekend there every year or so. always hit the Jack Of The Wood.
kommrade jakevich
@ninerdave: [Insert pearl necklace joke here.]
Fortunately there are no pictures of me as a pregnant nun. I hope.
demkat620
well, my 10 yo loved the Hot Pockets thing.
The Thinking Man's Mel Torme
During my youth, my parents both worked unpleasant jobs and commuted an hour each way, back when that sort of thing was rare. As such, they were always tired and irritable and had little patience for the typical activities of childhood as desired by yrs. trly. Hence my distaste for Halloween tomfoolery. Given a choice, I’d like to sit in a lawn chair in my driveway with a bottle of gin and a shotgun and give the little savages foolish enough to trespass a real treat.
Ash Can
I was Prometheus for one Halloween in grad school — I draped myself in a toga, smeared red paint across my waist, and carried a butane lighter. A couple of years ago, I went to a neighborhood costume party as Integra Hellsing (yes, I’m female). My Donna Karan pantsuit was smashing, but the blond wig I wore made me look like I had a man-o-war sitting on top of my head. At least I got to smoke cigars. No, I didn’t set the wig on fire with them. And boy did I have fun trying to explain my costume to the other grade-school parents at the party.
Pictures? Yeah, right.
jnfr
@Comrade Stuck:
That makes me very happy.
ninerdave
@kommrade jakevich:
Ewww….
Iowa housewife
I am a California native living in Iowa and,
you won’t believe it , here for some damn reason the kids go out the night
before Halloween, calling it beggar’s night. (except for when beggar’s night
falls on a Weds they actually celebrate on the real day, since all kids go
to religious education on Weds.)It is only 6-8pm. And kids are to tell a
joke to earn their candy. When it is a large group, it is horrible , I mean
c’mon we only have two hours to score. The natives claim it has to due with
trying to cut down on hooliganism and shenanigans, sheesh!
What are they doing to our culture?
cleek
Electioneering – Radiohead
I will stop, I will stop at nothing.
Say the right things when electioneering
I trust I can rely on your vote.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
Ha ha ha
Riot shields, voodoo economics,
it’s just business, cattle prods and the I.M.F.
I trust I can rely on your vote.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
also, Stereolab – Ping Pong
McCain’s daughter likes it
Conservatively Liberal
No pics on hand (Mom has them all) but my most embarrassing was one I was never embarrassed about because I was too young. My Mom and older sister dressed me up as a girl when I was three years old, and then took me trick or treating.
I am glad that I don’t remember a thing…lol!
My best was dressing up in shredded jeans and t-shirt, covered with what looked like dried blood (and a few words written on the t-shirt in same), my face painted like a stained glass window and long hippy hair in a mess and a Stihl 045AV chainsaw (chain removed, of course) as my weapon of choice. I looked like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, but on steroids.
When my (future) wife and I arrived at the party, it was going full blast and nobody could hear us knocking at the door. We knocked harder and the door opened part way (it wasn’t latched all of the way), so I fired up the chainsaw and walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Needless to say, the crowd parted like the Red Sea and let me through. My best friend had absolutely no idea who I was (my wife to be was still in the living room talking to friends). I changed my voice and challenged him to ID me and he couldn’t do it. We had known each other for over twenty years at the time and he just about shit his pants when I finally told him.
During the party, I would jokingly go after people with the chain saw but this one chick wasn’t scared, saying that she knew the chain was off of it. A short time later I spied her talking to two other chicks at the party, her back to me. I snuck up behind her, signaled to the two other girls to play along and I placed the bar of the chainsaw between her legs and fired it up, going to full revs over and over.
She almost fell over trying to get away, and she screamed so loud that people outside came running in to see what had happened. Everyone was laughing their asses off, it was so f’ing hilarious to see her reaction. She gave me a wide berth for the rest of the party.
Notorious P.A.T.
I almost did, too. That was a stupid comparison. But she’s working for a stupid campaign.
Laura W
Turn it up – Simply Red
Turn it up, turn it so loud
It don’t ever stop
No no no no
Turn it up, makes me so proud
I believe in this feeling
Well you’ve lost all the things
That sharing could bring
Thought you were doing right
But violence and flames
And torches and chains
Are fueling
These new northern lights
Like prisoners working
On infertile land
Took eight years
To find out the score
If you’re sick then you’re lonely
Out of work then you’re hungry
The sentence is four years more
Turn it up, turn it so loud…
Who says poverty and race
Can be kept in their place
By keeping it
All underground
And ruling the country
Are unfaithful husbands
Who spank little boys
Gagged and bound
There’s got to be a better way
For you and for me
To turn this hypocrisy round
The growth of a nation
Cannot be achieved
By keeping
The downtrodden down
Turn it up, turn it so loud
It don’t ever stop
No no no no
Turn it up, makes me so proud
I believe in this feeling
Turn it up, turn it up
Right up, right up
cleek
Pink Floyd, In The Flesh
So ya thought ya might like to go to the show.
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow.
I got me some bad news for you, Sunshine.
Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel,
And he sent us along as a surrogate band.
We’re gonna find out where you fans really stand.
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get ’em up against the wall. — ‘Gainst the wall!
And that one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me.
Get him up against the wall. — ‘Gainst the wall!
And that one looks Jewish, and that one’s a coon.
Who let all this riffraff into the room?
There’s one smoking a joint, and another with spots!
If I had my way I’d have all of ya shot.
Notorious P.A.T.
Haha, that’s a great Republican song. That is, when I hear it I think of some jerkoff like Newt Gingrich, getting up in front of a crowd and finally paying back all the people who were mean to him as a kid.
Iowa housewife
@Laura W: I forgot about Simply Red, what was their big hit way back when? Something about holding back the tears, counting all the years, or some such….such as..
Wini
@Far Left American Hater Incertus: Steve Earle: The Revolution Starts Now
Wini
@Far Left American Hater Incertus: I also like John Mellencamp’s "Justice and Independence"
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Billy Bragg, Between the Wars. This might be wee bit too lefty for you, John, but it’s still brilliant. And hey, this was a chart hit in Britain in 1985.
I was a miner
I was a docker
I was a railway man
Between the wars
I raised a family
In times of austerity
With sweat at the foundry
Between the wars.
I paid the union and as times got harder
I looked to the government to help the working man
And they brought prosperity down at the armoury
We’re arming for peace, me boys
Between the wars.
I kept the faith and I kept voting
Not for the iron fist but for the helping hand
For theirs is a land with a wall around it
And mine is a faith in my fellow man
Theirs is a land of hope and glory
Mine is the green field and the factory floor
Theirs are the skies all dark with bombers
And mine is the peace we knew
Between the wars.
Call up the craftsmen
Bring me the draftsmen
Build me a path from cradle to grave
And I’ll give my consent
To any government
That does not deny a man a living wage.
Go find the young men never to fight again
Bring up the banners from the days gone by
Sweet moderation
Heart of this nation
Desert us not, we are
Between the wars.
John Cole
Just wondering if you all knew that I saw several Floyd concerts, was once a DJ, and have over 58 Dead shows under my belt. There may be more, but I do not remember if I went in or not. I know I was there, though.
Comrade Stuck
A Dead-Head Republican. I’ve heard it all now. The most I ever saw for one group was 3 for Fleetwood Mac. And I saw The Who once 30 years ago, and I can still hear them they were so loud.
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
You see? There was a DFH inside John, fighting to get out, for years and years.
Comrade Darkness
Yeah, but you can count them. That says something in and of itself. Did you actually remain dry and clean at these things? I bow to you.
Just Some Fuckhead
Stealers Wheel, Star
So they made you a star, now your head’s in a cloud
Now you’re walking down the street with your feet off the ground
They read in the press all about your success
They believe every word they’ve been told
After all you’ve been through tell me what will you do
When you find yourself out in the cold? (ah tell me, ah tell me)
When you appear on the stage there’s a standing ovation
You really live out your performance, you’re the biggest sensation
You breeze through the door and when you take a floor
You expect to have it all to yourself
After all you’ve been through tell me what will you do
When you find yourself back on the shelf? (ah tell me, ah tell me)
You breeze through the door and when you take a floor
You expect to have it all to yourself
After all you’ve been through tell me what will you do
When you find yourself back on the shelf? (ah tell me, ah tell me)
John Cole
The hidden plan of this website was to scope out all the cool hippie chicks like comrade mary, and make it easier for me to find a companion for life. After several years as an asshole Republican, I figure my reformation will open me up to all sorts of 35-45 year old women who would love me for who I am.
Or maybe I am just drunk.
But hippie chicks are still the best.
ImJohnGalt
Isn’t Mann Coulter a dead-head?
We’re having a little election night party here in Toronto (overseas voters [heh] here) on the 4th.
By the way, I’d just like to give a shout-out to John for introducing me to Ta-Nehisi Coates. His site is very entertaining.
Anyone else going to Washington for the inauguration? Balloon-Juice meetup?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@Comrade Stuck: A Dead-Head Republican. I’ve heard it all now.
That is odd, but I’ve met them before.
John’s got me beat – I only made it to about two dozen shows.
Genine
I agree, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m a hippie. It’s a completely objective observation.
You should come to some festivals sometime, its fun.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@Genine: It’s a completely objective observation.
Damn straight. I spent my college years surrounded by hippie chicks and they do totally rule.
There aren’t many of them around where I live now, more’s the pity.
MeDrewNotYou
@ Incertus
You have to play Funky President by James Brown. I mean, its in the title!
People, people
We got to get over
Before we go under
People, people
We got to get over
Before we go under
Hey, country
Didn’t say what you meant
Just changed
Brand new funky President
Stock market going up
Jobs going down
And ain’t no funking
Jobs to be found
Taxes keep going up
I changed from a glass
Now I drink out of a paper cup
It’s getting bad
People, people
We got to get over
Before we go under
Listen to me
Let’s get together and raise
Let’s get together
And get some land
Raise our food like the man
Save our money like the Mob
Put up a fight down on the job
Tell em, Godfather
Turn up your funk motor
Get down and praise the Lord
Get sexy, sexy
Get funky and dance
Love me, baby, love me nice
Don’t make it once
Can you make it twice
I like it
People, people
We got to get over
Before we go under
People, people
Well, well, well
Before we go under
Turn on your funk motor
I know it’s tough
Turn on your funk motor
Until you get enough
Hey, give yourself a
Chance to come through
Tell yourself, I can
Do what you can do
Hey, listen to the man
I’m the Godfather
Payback, cold-blooded
People, people
People, people
Hey, people, people
Don’t you see what’s going on
People, people
We got to get together
Get on the good foot
Change it, yeah
Got to get together
And get some land
Raise our food just like the man
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
I got to say it again
We got to get together
And buy some land
Raise our food just like the man
Save our money, do like the Mob
Put up your fight right on the job
We gotta get over
Before we go under
Time’s getting short, Lord
Country, do you know
Just what I meant
We just changed, we got
A brand new funky President
I need to be the Mayor
So I could change
Some things around here
I need to be the Governer
I need to be the Governer
boonagain
@ImJohnGalt:
I’ll be there from the 17th to the 21st.
Comrade Stuck
Absolutely goddamn right!
Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse
Aww. He is so goshdarn sweet when he’s squiffy.
Here’s a hippie chick for you, John. Are you still sure you want to vote for Barack?
rachel
There’s always Leonard Cohen
Limniade
The only Halloween costume I have a picture of is a dominatrix outfit. I don’t think that really qualifies as "funny". These days I look forward to the day AFTER Halloween more than the day of, because the candy is 75% off.
Politically Lost
I think the season demands a word from Rollins band:
Liar
You think you’re gonna to live your life alone
In darkness
And seclusion
Yeah i know
You’ve been out there
Tried to mix with those animals
And it just left you full of humiliated confusion
So you stagger back home
And wait for nothing
But the solitary refinement of your room spits you back out onto
The street
And now you’re desperate
And in need of human contact
And then
You meet me
And you whole world changes
Because everything i say is everything you’ve ever wanted to
Hear
So you drop all your defenses and you drop all your fears
And you trust me completely
I’m perfect
In every way
Cause i make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
You feel so lucky
But your ego obscures reality
And you never bother to wonder why
Things are going so well
You wanna know why?
Cause i’m a liar
Yeah i’m a liar
I’ll tear your mind out
I’ll burn your soul
I’ll turn you into me
I’ll turn you into me
Cause i’m a liar, a liar
A liar, a liar
I’ll hide behind a smile
And understanding eyes
And i’ll tell you things that you already know
So you can say
I really identify with you, so much
And all the time that you’re needing me
Is just the time that i’m bleeding you
Don’t you get it yet?
I’ll come to you like an affliction
And i’ll leave you like an addiction
You’ll never forget me
You wanna know why?
Cause i’m a liar
Yeah i’m a liar
I’ll rip your mind out
I’ll burn your soul
I’ll turn you into me
I’ll turn you into me
Cause i’m a liar, a liar
Liar, liar, liar, liar
I don’t know why i feel the need to lie
And cause you so much pain
Maybe it’s something inside
Maybe it’s something i can’t explain
Cause all i do
Is mess you up and lie to you
I’m a liar
Oh, i am a liar
If you’ll give me one more chance
I swear that i will never lie to you again
Because now i see the destructive power of a lie
They’re stronger than truth
I can’t believe i ever hurt you
I swear
I will never to you lie again, please
Just give me one more chance
I will never lie to you again
I swear
That i will never tell a lie
I will never tell a lie
No, no
Ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
Sucker
Sucker!
Oh, sucker
I am a liar
Yeah, i am a liar
Yeah i like it
I feel good
Ohh i am a liar
Yeah
I lie
I lie
I lie
Oh, i lie
Oh i lie
I lie
Yeah
Ohhh i’m a liar
I lie
Yeah
I like it
I feel good
I’ll lie again
And again
I’ll lie again and again
And i’ll keep lying
I promise
Blue Raven
I think the only possible extant picture of me in a Halloween costume would exist in the keepsakes of a Japanese exchange student I was friends with my senior year of high school. In classic politically unaware style, I was dressed as a gypsy.
The fact I just trussed up my SL avatar in skin, hair, eyes and clothing that turn her into a walking tribute to candy corn just means I’m a geek with time on her hands. It’d be humiliating if it were real. Inworld, it’s kinda cool in that "I would only do this here" way. Besides, my av is a stone hottie. I’ve expanded a fair bit since I graduated high school.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Go for the classics:
Some folks are born to wave the flag,
Ooh, they’re red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no senators son, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no,
Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, dont they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no millionaires son, no.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yoh,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no military son, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, one.
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate one, no no no,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate son, no no no,
Krista
John, this site is full of women who love you for who you are. Bask in it, my friend.
rickles
A few years ago I went as a priest (collar and everything) and my partner went as a little boy. Not exactly pc, but it was great!
b. hussein canuckistani (comrade)
I went to a Flintstones theme party as Betty Rubble many years ago. The fact that I am a straight male with more facial hair than necessary just added to the sensation.
But it was super embarrassing when some woman showed up wearing the same dress as me.
And I would just like to say that I love Halloween. Kids today don’t get enough anarchy in their diet, and dressing up as serial killers and extorting candy from grownups helps redress that balance.
greynoldsct00
What Krista said; we adore you John, happy, grumpy, tipsy or in-between. And any one who loves animals like you and posts our pets? It’s all good. Don’t ever change.