Looks like the members of the Iowa GOP are a little dimwitted:
A conservative Iowa group’s effort to lure Sarah Palin to its banquet next month has had an unintended effect: Rather than exciting conservatives about the prospect of a visit from the former Alaska governor, the group’s plan to raise a six-figure sum to bring her to the state has GOP activists recoiling at the thought of paying to land a politician’s speaking appearance.
The Iowa Family Policy Center’s effort to cobble together $100,000 for Palin would represent a striking departure from customary practice in the first-in-the-nation state, these Republicans say, noting that a generation of White House hopefuls has paid their own way to boost their party and presidential ambitions.
Umm, guys? SHE’S. A. GRIFTER. She quit her damned job to go on the wingnut welfare circuit. Seven in ten people think she is unqualified to be President. She’s just in this for the money, and she is currently having a public feud with the father of her teenage daughter’s child who is himself cashing in by posing for Playgirl.
This isn’t a credible politician. It’s a Jerry Springer episode.
Scott
I have no problem with the Iowa Family Policy Center paying $100K for a Palin speech. In fact, I’d like to encourage more Republican organizations to deplete their cash this way. If they don’t pay $100K for Palin speeches, then they hate America and Libertarian Jeebus.
dmsilev
Someone should tell her that George W. Bush is currently raking in the bucks on the motivational speaking circuit, and that the two of them should team up.
We could call it the Comedian Full Employment Act of 2009.
-dms
flukebucket
A day without Balloon-Juice is like a day without sunshine.
Kryptik
Hey, hey, hey, that’s not quite fair, John.
….Jerry Springer at least used to be a reasonable politician before.
El Cid
Yeah, but as a supporter of Democrats, it’s kinda awesome to watch. After a silent prayer thanking the random powers of the Universe that we aren’t currently eating tree bark and filtering sewer water through our underwear under President Palin’s New Econmonics and Stuff Plan.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
Sarah is being an honest political hack, just pay her and she will perform. She is in this for Sarah and what’s good for Sarah is good for Sarah. People should expect to pay out the nose to experience Sarah Palin in all of her glorious going rogueiness.
Being a rogue isn’t cheap. Pay up suckas!
asiangrrlMN
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
This is me laughing hysterically over the idiocy tinged with a small amount of jealous that such a worthless human being is getting paid so much to spew her batshitcraziness.
beltane
But think of the starbursts! That type of titillation doesn’t come cheap goshdarnit. And stop mocking little baby Trig. That’s mean.
Shawn in ShowMe
Will Greta the Stalker be providing live coverage?
beltane
@Scott: Yes. It’s better that the money finds itself in Sarah’s bank account than in GOTV efforts.
Violet
I’m all for the Republicans spending all their money to get Sarah Palin to talk to them. The more money they give her, the less they have to support real candidates.
But they’re being stupid.
Oh, and as much as I think Levi is cashing in and I probably shouldn’t even know who he is, I get the biggest kick out of his “career.” I know it’s gossipy and ridiculous, but somehow I find the whole thing hilarious. His middle school, “I’ve got much bigger stuff on Sarah that will make her look really, really bad” comments yesterday just left me rolling.
Okay, I’m twelve.
MattF
Well, she has to pay the speech writer, she has to have an adequate wardrobe, her personal assistant has to look good, she has to provide support for her entourage– transportation, food, medical insurance, what-have-you. This all costs m-o-n-e-y, and that doesn’t grow on trees, y’know.
slag
@flukebucket: 2nded.
ItAintEazy
@Kryptic:
“…Jerry Springer at least used to be a reasonable politician before he got caught shtupping a hooker.”
Fix’d.
feebog
Yeah but she’s purttty. And doesn’t use any four syllable words, so she’s just like us.
The Bearded Blogger
Iowa, a state that, demographically, should be red, is blueish because GOOPERS there are so stupid. Kind of the mirror image of Nevada, which would be a lot bluer than it is if democrats there, at all levels, didn’t suck.
Kryptik
@ItAintEazy:
Hey, hasn’t stopped David Vitter.
Oh wait, I forgot, one of those IOKIYAR deals, nevermind!!
jibeaux
Much like being horrified at a kid in a KKK costume for Halloween because the long white sheet is probably going to get really dirty traipsing around in the streets all night. Correct reaction. Wroooooooooonnnng reason.
Trinity
@flukebucket: This!
CynDee
Maybe a few of the audience members, after they have paid the money and sat there listening, will go home, look in the mirror, and Get It. Maybe. Also.
jayjaylanc
@ItAintEazy:
Well, it’s not so much that he got caught shtupping a hooker. It’s that he paid for that hooker with a personal check. It’s not every potential blackmail victim that’s this generous with their potential blackmailer, after all.
Laura W
Toenail rhinestones do not grow on trees, you know!
Have you any idea how many hours of practice it takes to do some fancy pageant walking while rocking black patent wedges?
A credit to her gender. (Obligatory BOB homage).
GReynoldsCT00
Love you John!
I tend to think the most of the stooges would go see her are beyond reason but one can hope
The Dangerman
GILF (G = Grifter)
The Saff
Perfect description of this inarticulate, shallow woman. May John McCain rot in hell for having put her in the national spotlight. I wish she would just go away.
martha
@Laura W: Oh ick.
And I just love the word grifter. It’s so…perfect.
Xecky Gilchrist
Doesn’t Sarah skip on some of the gigs she’s been paid to do anyway? I seem to remember hearing about that but don’t care enough to chase it down (and I mean speaking gigs, not just the Alaska governorship).
I get a huge kick out of the Levi Johnston thing because I think that kid deserves some compensation for coming within a hair’s breadth of being the costar in the most public shotgun wedding in history.
kommrade reproductive vigor
I love the idea of Palin swooping in and snatching up all the cash that might otherwise go to fund GOPer campaigns. It’s like McPOW found a giant, ravenous leech and clamped it to his party’s forehead.
I mean, would anyone really be surprised if he confessed his entire campaign, especially the Palinization, was his revenge for the way Rove & Co crapped all over him?
Fxd.
Rathskeller
I’m enjoying this immensely.
In contrast to the folks that CynDee would have honorably realizing “what have I done?”, I think that many of the folks who are able to collectively pony up $100k to hear this dim bulb would not be thinking about themselves, but they’re thinking about the product that they’re marketing. The buzz that she naturally gathers is attractive to a marketer. They think they can have another George W. Bush in office, someone who takes the heat, makes the speeches, and does whatever the hell they want.
As Peggy Noonan accidentally revealed, they’re not fooled by Palin, but they expect their voters to be.
ploeg
They’re ALL grifters, John. They’re not actually going to PAY for Sarah Palin to come (and they know that Palin might not show up even if they did pay her).
As the article notes, the Iowa Family Policy Center still doesn’t have a firm offer tendered to Palin. They’re just using Palin to raise money. When they can’t come up with the $100K (or when Palin turns them down), they just pocket the money that they raised and move on.
Shell
I’m still reeling from the idea that anyone would pay money to hear George W. Bush as a motivational speaker.
We truly are in Looking Glass world.
jenniebee
That woman truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Moderate Republicans find her embarrassing, she’s a dealbreaker as a candidate for 7/10 of the population, and the more we make fun of her, the more rabidly her supporters back her. PLUS in addition to all of that, Ann Coulter’s visibility has dropped off considerably since Sarah! came on the scene, and Sarah! is a lot more fun than Coulter ever was.
As far as I’m concerned, ever since her “In what respect, Charlie?” interview it’s just been 400 days of Christmas.
JenJen
So much awesome in this post. So, so much.
C Nelson Reilly
If Sarah and family would go on the Jerry Springer show there could be a lot of DNA testing and all of Andrew Sullivan’s theories will be proven beyond a reasonable daytime television doubt.
Xecky Gilchrist
@ploeg: When they can’t come up with the $100K (or when Palin turns them down), they just pocket the money that they raised and move on.
Shit, I should try that – I could just cut if off when I reach enough to pay my student loans off. If I wrote the fundraising letter right, it probably wouldn’t even be fraud.
anonevent
But nowhere near as good looking as Annette Bening.
The Moar You Know
@The Saff: In all seriousness, McCain did us all a huge favor.
We know that the GOP had an eye on her for a while. We know she possesses that special blend of fiscal irresponsibility and religious/dominionist fervor that gets GOP candidates into the White House time and time again.
And with training, she would have formidable. Like Margaret Thatcher without the scruples.
But McCain grabbed her before she was ripe, and we are all so lucky that he did, because now her failings have been seen by the entire populace and 70% + of us are not real happy with her. She’ll never be president. Hell, she’ll probably never hold elected office again, so she better grab while the grabbin’ is good.
EEH
@Laura W: Oh dear. Along with the tacky pedicure, her toes hang off the edge. Classy, that.
Brent
Y’all misunderestimate Sarah. Remember, it was her 3 sentence Facebook update that sent the whole nation and media on a months long titty twister about “death panels.” Just like GW, she figured out how to play the religious right like a strat and no republican who wants to win a primary dare alienate that nutjob base. Besides, she’s probably a witch, which is why that African pastor was trying to cast out the witchcraft in her. It aint easy being a christian witch folks. Give her some credit! It explains the irrational inexplicable nature of her popularity and appeal.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
May John McCain rot in hell for having put her in the national spotlight. I wish she would just go away.
I respectfully disagree. She’s the gift that keeps on giving. Having her in the spotlight being the poster child for the far-out reich wing of the Republican Party Is. A. Good. Thing.
It highlights to any middle-of-the-road independent just how scary those people can be and if that means they think twice about voting for a Repub the next time they’re in the ballot box…
ploeg
From the article:
Scam. The whole thing.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
Think of her as another iteration of the Katherine Harris School of Woman Republican Elected Officials. Without The Twins.
jwb
Well, if Palin ever found (or allowed) people who knew what they were doing to run her, she could be very dangerous indeed; but so long as she’s relying on Bill Kristol and his crew of teh trooly stoopid for advice, she’ll remain just irritating and amusing by turns.
CalD
Daytime TV, yes. But I’m still thinking soap opera.
Shell
Didn’t you get the memo? We on the left are supposed to be sooooo scared of Ms. Palin.
jl
What great news. I hope the GOP keeps this up.
The hard core GOP now consists of two types of people: either swindlers or marks. They are out of power so the swindlers among them cannot prey on the general population, so they turn to their own and extract money from the marks in their own party. Heck of a job, GOP. Please keep it up.
This is the problem with a culture of smash and grab, where the healthy ethos capitalism has turned into a decadent culture of ruthless rent-seeking.
In a note that may be related, the wingnuts are turning on AARP because AARP is defening the idea of social insurance, and for now, AARP can see beyond its role as purely selfish interest group and is trying to be constructive on health reform. So, AARP must be demonized. Note that the elderly as a group are supporters of the GOP. But if AARP will not drink kool-aid, it must be attacked.
(AARP has not always been able to be so far-sighted, but the would have been useful if they played dog in the manger and went all out against health reform as a threat to Medicare. They also were cool the Bush’s corrupt deal to pay off current elderly to gut social security for future generations. They have not been an obedient wedge on a couple of critical issues).
Send the GOP leadership a picture of Goya’s ‘Saturn eating his children’, I wonder if they would get it.
jenniebee
@The Moar You Know: I take exception to the idea that Sarah Palin had room to ripen. She’s ambitious and she’s great at pushing the envelope to get the applause of the radical right, but to “ripen” into someone who could actually appeal to moderates she’d have to be someone who saw value in appealing to moderates. She’s never demonstrated that she sees that value; as a matter of fact, she’s pushed hard the other way, into the “Purge the RINOs” camp. She’d have had to “ripen” into someone who would at least learn enough about national and international issues to sound to non-experts like she has a basic grasp of current events, but she had to be smacked, hard in the Gibson and Couric interviews before she’d acknowledge that necessity enough to accept coaching for her debate.
Palin was already as ripe as she was ever going to get because she herself rejected the idea that she needed any improvement to be qualified to hold national office. End of story.
aimai
CalD @42–I’m thinking SoapDish. I can’t find a link to it but the scene where Sally Field, the has been actress, has to go to malls in Jersey and have her publicist pretend to recognize her and make a fuss over her in order to get some ego gratification. I imagine that working for Palin involves a lot of such scenes. Cut to Iowa diner “oh, look, who’s that woman? Why, its Sarah Palin!” “Oh, please, please-don’t make a fuss! I was just quietly sitting here, representing the best of American values, and trying to eat a burger.”
aimai
The Grand Panjandrum
I wonder what Joe the Plumber charges? He might even give them a discount if they promise to give him a cameraman so he can travel around the state and report on his plan for beefing up America’s family farmers.
ellaesther
@asiangrrlMN: “tinged with a small amount of jealous”…?
You are a better woman than I, Gunga Din. When I — a professional writer who has essentially given up on having her own name appear on anything, anywhere — see this sort of thing, it turns me a wee-bit Hulk like.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!
Ahem.
soonergrunt
@CynDee: given that the mirror is found more often in the bathroom than any other room in the house, I’m willing to bet that the starburst effect will have more to do with their proximity to a mirror than self-awareness ever will.
The Grand Panjandrum
OT: The House version of the Health Care reform legislation is now online. I’ve read through the a good portion of it and it looks OK so far. Public Option part looks pretty good.
ellaesther
That’s it, I’m going rogue and waaaaay OT, but I must share what I just saw over to the TPM:
Bwahahahahaha!!
(Plus which, yes, I believe that teabagging does involve sucking. So the quoted person absolutely has it right!)
Oh, ok, I’ll go on-topic for a smidge: Levi Johnston is just making the best of a bad situation, and I say: Good on him.
ellaesther
@ellaesther: Hey, how come only part of the block-quoted text is in the blockquote? Hmm. Curious.
The Grand Panjandrum
Bwahahahahaha … Tea Party Fail:
Rick Taylor
I did not think my opinion of the Republican party could drop any lower before John McCain chose her as the Republican candidate for the vice presidency, but seeing the party rally behind her as a credible choice to be second in line for the presidency was an eye opener. All McCain wanted was to be president, and he had no scruples about the means for attaining that goal; either that or he is a Democratic mole. In return for rallying the Christian base on his behalf, he gave Palin a platform where she could help to tear the Republican party apart (not to mention making the Republican party synonymous with the party of “Joe the plumber”).
Trinity
@ellaesther: Hilarious!
The Grand Panjandrum
@ellaesther: We are doing a mind meld this morning!
Here is the link to the post. I left it out in my comment.
MysticalChick
There is NO way on this earth that anyone can convince me that McCain wanted her on the ticket. Judging by their public appearances, they couldn’t stand each other. She was foisted upon him to rally that hard core wingnut base (and she did it well). She’s a piece of work, that one.
Also too – There’s no way she’s a witch because they believe in the power of three: what you do to others comes back to you three times as strong and if that’s the case, she’s in deeeeeep shit. Maybe she’s the bad witch variety, come to think of it. She’s no Glinda even if she is from the north.
Sam Hutcheson
RE: the on-going cat fight with Levi Johnston, it seems pretty clear to me that she was banging the kid behind Todd and Bristol’s back.
Duh.
ellaesther
@The Grand Panjandrum: Excellent! I have enough hair for both of us!
(But in a jinx situation, I believe it is customary for the jinxer to buy the jinxee a Coke. You owe me a Coke, dude).
Steeplejack
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Whatever happened to Joe the Plumber? Haven’t heard anything about him in a while.
canuckistani
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
FTW, dude, although I am bitter about spraying burrito fragments all over my desk.
Steeplejack
@ellaesther:
Put two underscores in the blank line between blockquote paragraphs. That keeps them together.
Also, if you start your blockquote with no blank line between it and the normal text above, it doesn’t come out in bold. Go figure. FYWP.
lou
If they don’t pay her the 100 big ones they will be giving in to the abortionists.
Demo Woman
@Sam Hutcheson: That would seem likely.
ellaesther
@Steeplejack: Ah, technology. I canna understand if you are more friend, or foe!
(You, Steeplejack, are a friend, though. Thanks for explaining!)
MikeJ
I have a pillowcase full of oranges if anyone would like to borrow it.
GregB
We are starting to make Caligula’s Rome look like boys scout camp.
I do love to see the Wasilla Wingnut rending the GOP asunder though.
One wonders what bombshell Levi will drop after sadistic Sarah goes defcon on him?
As to the teabaggers…..Those rallies don’t work so well without millions of astroturf organizing dollars, heh?
-G
The Saff
@jenniebee:
Yes, that’s the way I see it. We had that in Dubya for 8 years and we know how that turned out. The hubris alone in people like this makes them completely unqualified to hold any kind of public office, let alone president or vice president of the U.S.
But I also see other folks’s points about Palin being the gift that keeps on giving because she’s such a chucklehead and has no idea what an idiot she really is.
The Grand Panjandrum
@ellaesther: You’re on. We have family in your neck of the woods. Next time were in town I’m buying.
PTirebiter
Exactly. Palin and the teabag nation may be idiots, but their useful idiots. They allow their sponsors, serious pukes and saboteurs like Dick Armey to fly under the radar.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Steeplejack: He’s standing guard over the Whitey tape and Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate. Evidently working for Orly and Agent Flowbee comes with health insurance and free dental care.
kay
I like Levi. I’m getting such a kick out of the fact that he won’t go away.
The best and brightest political minds in the GOP dragged him onstage like a human prop, thought they could use him for 12 weeks, and then he was supposed to go away.
But, he won’t. He should start a PAC.
The Saff
@kay: It’s likely he can’t spell PAC. But as long as he’s making Sarah play games like “I know you are but what am I?”, I’m OK with it.
Persia
@anonevent: Well, dude, who is?
Sarah Failin'
So Sarah wants $100,000.00 to show up? – wasn’t that what George W. Bush got for speaking earlier this week at “Get Motivated”? Dubya may be a has been, but at least he’s not a wanna be never was. Oh who am I kidding? The nutters would probably pay him that for a reading of “MY Pet Goat”
(if there was a book signing afterward) : ^ )
Geeno
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
Is that like two girls one cup?
Paul in KY
Great thread guys & gals. Many funny comments. Can’t wait until she unloads on Levi & then he really unloads on her.
I too am betting that she was shtupping him.
Bubblegum Tate
@kay:
I felt some sympathy for him when they pushed him out on stage. His whole demeanor said, “Look, I just wanted to blap the gov’s hot daughter. How the hell did I end up here?”
That said, I don’t think he’s the most credible source of information, though he is a very highly amusing one.
Ash Can
@Xecky Gilchrist:
I seem to recall some genius in the McCain campaign suggesting that all the TV networks pre-empt their regular programming and cover that wedding, like they did with Charles and Diana. Good times.
@Shell:
He’d certainly motivate me to get my lazy ass up out of the seat in that conference hall and go do something worthwhile, like get a cup of coffee or a snack. He’d also motivate me to swear off dropping a whole double sawbuck on a performance I wasn’t absolutely sure would deliver on the laughs.
@Steeplejack:
Maybe his mother said to him, “OK, Mr. Hot Shot Plumber, come home and fix this damned toilet that we’ve been pestering you about.” And he’s been trying to get it right ever since.
kay
@The Saff:
He’s completely authentic. He’s just riding this thing to the end, like her, actually, but he doesn’t pretend to be doing anything else. And, unlike her, he seems to recognize that there is an end.
She’s mad because he’s cutting in to her share, basically.
LoveMonkey
Off topic …
See my url for information about Phoenix’ Drinking Liberally Chapter, which is meeting tonite at the George and Dragon on Central just north of Indian School. The “meeting” starts at 6:30, and Little Dreamer (Rome Again) and I plan to be there. We’d enjoy meeting any of you Balloon-Juicers in the Phoenix area who are up for some commie conversation and refreshments.
I’ll be the person with the brown paper bag over his head, please say hello and buy me a drink.
freelancer
I think calling her a Grifter is an insult to the beauty and talents of a woman like Sophie Devereaux.
ericblair
@jl: The hard core GOP now consists of two types of people: either swindlers or marks.
There’s a major third class here: the bunch that think they’re swindlers but are marks too. These are the realtors and small businesspeople and the rest of them that think they’re going to Make It Big One Day, and therefore don’t want their future selves to be paying all those nasty rich people taxes. The real swindlers have no intention about letting these useful idiots up the ladder, but are quite happy to keep them where they are and laugh at them.
ellaesther
@The Grand Panjandrum: Done and done!
@Paul in KY: Wait, hold on, you’re betting that “too”? Is that a theory now? Why didn’t I get that memo?
Grumpy Code Monkey
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
I’m suddenly reminded of the scene in “I, Claudius” where Tiberius proclaims Caligula his successor and exclaims gleefully, “Rome deserves you!”
Woodrowfan
Well, Jerry Springer started off in politics. I worked in his 1982 campaign for governor (he came in 3d in the primary)
ericblair
@Xecky Gilchrist: I get a huge kick out of the Levi Johnston thing because I think that kid deserves some compensation for coming within a hair’s breadth of being the costar in the most public shotgun wedding in history.
I still treasure the video of a sitting Senator and the Morality Party’s candidate for President of the United States warmly congratulating an unemployed kid whose single accomplishment in life was knocking up the governor’s daughter. You could almost see the shark and the motorcycle roaring over it in the background.
Ash Can
Republicans aren’t known for their brains these days.
kay
@Bubblegum Tate:
I just really liked him at the convention. Clearly baffled by what the hell had just happened to him, but so amiably playing along.
I just love the idea that the sophisticated PR team got completely blind-sided by Levi Johnson. I love the idea that they have to worry about him every day, forever, really.
The Saff
@Bubblegum Tate:
That’s what I was thinking as I read “his” Vanity Fair article. I assume there’s some truth to it, but who knows coming from a 19-year old kid from the sticks.
And kay@81, I agree with you.
Brent
@jl:
The AARP lost all credibility when they backed GW’s prescription drug benefit program, otherwise known as the big pharma giveaway act of 2006. That they peddle supplemental insurance and benefited widly from it identifies them as essentially corrupt.
Comrade Darkness
@C Nelson Reilly: They can’t be, actually. It is nearly impossible to determine genetically whether a child was born to a mother or daughter. (Actually, I’m guessing this is the theory you were talking about…)
The Saff
@ericblair:
Too funny!
Zifnab
It’s just refreshing to so the GOP eating their own. For years it’s been the public at large – or the well meaning conservative Democrats – that got to play the suckers to “Compassionate Conservatism” and “Family Values Republicans”.
Now that the parties are so hard split, we get to see the Republican purity streak feed itself for a change. Finally, nutso Evangelicals and glibertarian old money wack jobs can all pay for their own kool aid for a change.
God, I hope and pray Lady Palin makes a big splash in 2012. Then sucks up all those GOP dollars like a big ‘ole Moose-shaped sponge.
Comrade Darkness
@Brent: Please, please don’t insult witches. I don’t even know any personally, but that was still painful to read. How about we just say she’s inhabited by demons, hm?
gwangung
@freelancer:
True dat.
On the other hand, a Sophie Devereaux would find it useful camoflague if everyone thought grifters were like Palin…
The Saff
@Zifnab:
See NY-23 special election. On Countdown last night and last week, Lawrence O’Donnell was giddy talking about it.
kay
@The Saff:
I know he’s not credible, but either is she. Did Sarah Palin intend to be in an endless public “he said-she said” with a 19 year old at this point in her life? I don’t think so! She wants to submit op-eds on energy policy!
He’s the chaos that keeps this thing spinning out of control. He’s providing a valuable public service, if unwittingly.
Sarah Wailin
$100,000.00 for Sarah to show up? George W. Bush charged that to speak at “Get Motivated” Say what you want about Dubya – at least he IS a “has been” not a “wanna be, never was”. That being said wingnuts would probably pay that much for a reading of “My Pet Goat” – as long as there was a book signing afterward. : ^ )
Comrade Darkness
@jwb: I safely expect that to continue for the near future. The hardened, jutting, ignorant corners of her personality are what make her appealing to her base, and they are also what makes her unmanageable. (See: McCain staffer problems during campaign.)
The Saff
@kay: Levi Johnston the public service provider! Perfect.
Yeah, Palin is bad news and then some.
r€nato
Sarah Palin is like this Rosemary’s Baby which resulted from the unholy union of John McCain and the far right qaeda/taliban of the GOP. They brought her into this world and now they just can’t get rid of her.
Will
@MattF:
When you put it that way, she’s lowballing. She raked in over $150k in clothes alone from the McCains.
Guys, come on! “The world is literally her oyster”!
feebog
It’s really a shame that Levi and Bristol broke up. Otherwise, we could be looking at THE. BEST. REALITY. SHOW. EVER.
Cat Lady
My money’s been on Levi since McCain’s brain trust plunked him on that tarmac in his fancy new uncomfortable duds, the day after he was wearing his Carharts. He may not be intellectual but he’s got a ton of sense, and he’s going to bring the goods one way or another because The Quittah can’t leave him alone. The grifter mind set is to keep getting over on people, and the only thing that has ever motivated Sarah Snowbilly is money and revenge. He’s going to get both and she’s going to pay. Levi’s comin’.
mistersnrub
Deep thought: A Bristol-Levi wedding on the White House lawn would have been magical.
freelancer
@kay:
I know, it’d would be as if Kanye and Obama were actually feuding instead of the media trying to create a feud, and Obama would be dumb enough to keep responding.
Comrade Scrutinizer
I’d like to see this:
But what I’d really like is when he starts talking about the unique growth on her privates. Kinda like a concave Clenis.
Randy P
@aimai: One of our all-time favorite comedies. Thanks for mentioning it. Every single person in it is hilarious (I can make my wife laugh every time by doing Garry-Marshall-as-studio-exec quotes from that movie. So we’re weird. Sue me.)
Remember the point of the fake gushing? After Whoopi Goldberg gushes over her for a few seconds, a bunch of random shoppers are convinced they should be gushing too, and jump on the bandwagon.
There’s a very nice analogy to astroturf GOP organizing in there somewhere.
r€nato
@feebog:
you mean it isn’t already? It’s been a reality show to me since the moment old man McCain picked her.
New Yorker
What does Carrie Prejean cost per appearance?
JoJo
Bristol’s Mom has got it going on!
Yeah, I’ve suspected the same thing.
Our friends over at Politico are still insisting that we’re afraid of her.
freelancer
@feebog:
You didn’t hear about Johnston’s new show on VH1, “Igloo of Love“?
Tsulagi
Could be. Think an earlier supporting clue was when an Iowa congressional gooper said he would vote against moving Gitmo detainees into the country because they would walk into any of the U.S. embassies within the states to apply for citizenship.
Yeah, but Winky ain’t totally dumb. She’s done the math. If getting the speaking fees and book deals she is now after just a couple of months of strutting down the wingnut runway as a VP model, think what she could get after being the prez candidate for real America.
Look for the You Betcha campaign in ’12. Think not? Intrade currently has that probability at three times the likelihood of HCR with PO signed by end of year. Run, Sarah, run!
Comrade Scrutinizer
@Steeplejack:
Well,
I use a non-breaking space between lines instead of the ellipseseseses. But the plaintext thingy doesn’t seem to work for me. Unless it does this time.
Comrade Scrutinizer
Ah. Never mind.
BFR
Eww.
soonergrunt
@Cat Lady:
what, again?
The Grand Panjandrum
@Zifnab: GOS has a new poll out on the race and Markos posted the numbers on Twitter a couple hours ago.
This is only one poll but it shows Scozzafava fading which is what the trend has been for a while now.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@BFR: I can see it now: Coming soon from John Thompson: Sarah’s Erster Sperma Versuch.
Or maybe not.
I miss the edit button.
soonergrunt
@The Grand Panjandrum: I soooo want the teabagger to win this one. If that happens, Dems lose nothing, and the baggers get empowered to marginalize the right wing by purity even more. Go Hoffman Go!
Sean
@ellaesther:
I find myself in total agreement. Sarah Palin treated her extended family like movie props then whored herself out on the pundit circuit.
Sure, Levi isn’t the brightest pixel on the screen, but at least he’s being honest about what’s he’s doing.
If he can use his 15 minutes of fame to escape the life he was born into, more power to him.
Granted, the odds are he’ll flame out spectacularly, but I can’t fault him for trying.
-S
Midnight Marauder
@JoJo:
Which is, perhaps, the craziest element about the media/wingnut obsession with Palin. This insistence that, for whatever unidentifiable/ever-changing and nebulous reasons, people (particularly The Left) remain “scared” of Sarah Palin. Where are all of these people terrified about a Sarah Palin presidential run? I mean, it would take you no longer than 5 minutes to peruse progressive/left-wing sites and see nothing but unbridled joy and continuous streams of ridicule being directed at the thought of Sarah Palin attempting to become the Leader of The Free World. In fact, it’s become so bad that anyone attempting to argue that Palin could not win the nomination, but actually win the 2012 election is widely acknowledge as failing in their “Serious Person” credentials.
And the best part is that her career is on a very evident downward trajectory. For all the hype and bluster surrounding the Quitta From Wasilla, when the 2012 GOP primary starts to really heat up, there will be a deluge of advertisements and ever-funnier snark about the fact that the only term of elected office she’s ever served to its completion is that of Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.
Not to mention the fact that whenever Sarahgeddon opens her mouth, brian cells start dropping all over the place like people in “The Happening.”
freelancer
@Cat Lady:
Hide your heart girl! LMFAO.
Zifnab
@The Grand Panjandrum: Eh. This is going to be a silly race. No matter who wins, the GOP will declare themselves vindicated. If Scozzafava wins, the Republicans can claim an early Congressional victory into 2010. If Hoffman wins, they can claim conservative politicans are really speaking to the people. If Owens wins, they can all just rally ’round the “We need to be more conservative” rhetoric and bemoan the splitters as the only reason they didn’t triumph.
It’s not really fun to watch, because they’re all conservatives. Put a Howard Dean or a Ned Lamont or – hell – a full blown Bernie Sanders style socialist in the race. Then I’ll get my popcorn.
dmsilev
So, does that mean that Baby Trig is actually the child of Sarah and Levi? Because if we’re going to go full Jerry Springer, that would be nearly inevitable.
-dms
Zifnab
@The Grand Panjandrum: Eh. This is going to be a silly race. No matter who wins, the GOP will declare themselves vindicated. If Scozzafava wins, the Republicans can claim an early Congressional victory into 2010. If Hoffman wins, they can claim conservative politicans are really speaking to the people. If Owens wins, they can all just rally ‘round the “We need to be more conservative” rhetoric and bemoan the splitters as the only reason they didn’t triumph.
It’s not really fun to watch, because they’re all conservatives. Put a Howard Dean or a Ned Lamont or – hell – a full blown Bernie Sanders style soci alist in the race. Then I’ll get my popcorn.
Zifnab
@dmsilev: If you want the full Jerry, someone also has to be in the gay KKK.
Seanly
Palin is the Bialystock and Bloom of our celebripolitico age. What better way to rake in lots & lots of money than to run for the highest office in the land? All those little checks from Ameritaliban and glibertarians with starbursts – they add up after a while.
I admire the stones on her to keep this grift running. Otherwise I find her a repugnant joke of a mother and human being.
dmsilev
@Zifnab: I’d settle for an on-camera fistfight between Todd and Levi.
-dms
Lisa
“President Palin’s Economics and Stuff Plan”
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Phoenix Woman
@Xecky Gilchrist:
Know what’s scary? Levi’s smarter than she is. And much more trainable.
jwb
@ericblair: I think most marks believe they are swindlers. Most scams wouldn’t work otherwise.
Cat Lady
@Phoenix Woman:
Levi is hawter, with a much longer shelf life, also too. The Wingnut has no more than 5 years, tops before her assets are fully depreciated.
CapMidnight
And… now… Jer-ry…
o/~
Springertime…! for Hit-ler!
…andG-O-P…!
o/~
Whiners… for Pelosi… and friends…!
o/~
Springertime… for Hit-ler and…G-O-P…!
o/~
Now, Dittheads… Rush in-to… your dunce!
o/~
ksmiami
Did I mention that people esp women have a lot of empathy for Levi – even from the getgo… I say let the boy speak!
They Live By Night
Not to split hairs, but I’d argue she’s more like a VH1 reality show than Springer.
Mr Furious
@Laura W: In Purchase, NY? I hope the DFHs from my alma mater art school made their presence felt.
Sarah Wailin
Oh yeah – don’t people with presidential aspirations tend to kiss a** when it comes to Iowa? Darn you Sarah Palin – now you’ve gone and spoiled 2012 for me – I used enjoy the “Will She or Won’t She?” game. : ^ (
Paul in KY
ellaesther: Sam Hutcheson up about 20 or so comments prior to mine suggested that. It wouldn’t surprise me…
redoubt
@dmsilev: This. “It would be irresponsible not to speculate. . . ”
Mayberry Machiavellians meet the Thrilla from Wasilla, starbursts ensued, and America was
hiding the family silverduly impressed. But scared? Scared? When the future of your party is in a namecalling contest with a 19-year-old blueneck (i.e., would like to be a redneck but it’s too cold)?ellaesther
@Cat Lady: Are you channeling Three Dog Night here? Because I actually just posted the most spectacularly funny clip of “Eli’s Comin'” at my own place — they are clearly mocking the entire lip-synching ridiculousness, and their own drama-infused songs — or, quite possibly, high as kites. Plus: The outfits!
Tuffy
@#16:
Iowa is socially conservative but all its economic activity is farming and unionized farm-related manufacturing, which receives a lot of patronage from both Des Moines and DC Democrats. Remember that Gore won Iowa in 2000 by a razor margin. It’s not a pseudo-red state.
The GOP here has been eagerly purging their business/moderate wing in favor of teabaggers for several years now. Rep. Steve “the terrorists will be dancing in the streets if we elect HUSSEIN Obama” King is its crown jewel. So they’ve managed to take a parity position and shrink themselves down so they lost control of both legislatures and the governor’s mansion.
Huckabee won the caucus here in January, 2008 with little money or ground game despite Romney having a juggernaut of both. The GOP base here loves them the Jebus.
geg6
Meanwhile, apparently the Beer Summit is bearing fruit:
tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/spotted-gates-and-crowley-reportedly-partake-in-beer-summi…
He really is the MUP, isn’t he?
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Geeno: Youbetcha!
Speaking of Mr. Jeans Johnston, this quote made me snicker, proving once again that my brain is stuck at 14 years old:
If the rep had said happy ending I’d still be howling.
ellaesther
@freelancer: Right? Right??
I find it almost disturbing how in tune I am with BJ today. First GP and I post exactly the same OT information within seconds of each other, then Cat Lady references a song I hadn’t heard in ages, but happen to have blogged about today.
These things happen in threes…. What am I thinking of nao, Balloon Juice?
Paul in KY
BFR, I mean’t that in a metaphorical manner
ellaesther
@Paul in KY: I am very much liking that meme. It makes a sick/entirely too human kind of sense.
Cat Lady
@ellaesther:
Yes, indeedy, although I prefer Laura Nyro.
I’m going to drop by to check this wondrous thing out.
Ash
I love Levi. I mean, 20 years from now their kid (WTF is his name? Trapp, Trollop, Troglodyte?) is gonna look back on this and be extremely ashamed, but hey, he’s making more money now than he ever could have imagined.
Cat Lady
@ellaesther:
OK, that was fun! But, I’ve always wondered why Eli would come for a group of guys. Also, as to what explains everything in that video, they went with the ‘shrooms is my take on it. They couldn’t have pulled that off on acid.
IndieTarheel
Between the story and the comments, I can’t add a thing.
__
Except to say this is indeed the bestest blog ever.
Paul in KY
ellaesther, just checked out your cool site. Would urge other Ballooners to do the same.
canuckistani
I like that note of squallor, but I’m going to go with Palin pimping out Bristol for $20 a throw, $25 bareback.
ellaesther
@Cat Lady: Oh dear. She’s a bit high pitched for me! But you go, Cat Lady!
And, shrooms, you say — could be! All of the gentlemen look awfully friendly and very happy…!
@Paul in KY: I saw that! Thank you! And thank you for the recommendation — I love it when the Balloon Juicers find their way over to my place. It feels like having the cool kids coming to your house for a party!
Anne Laurie
Yeah, our “comic incongruity” meter goes to 11 because we expect the fast-talking grifter in the flashy threads to be the male, and the young cheesecake with just enough smarts to show up the Master and score the big payoff to be female. Although I doubt Sarah ever actually (tried to) schtup young Levi, I’m sure there were a few running-around-in-a-bathtowel moments like the one that so scandalized those semi-young Repub operatives during the campaign. Ex-beauty-pageant contestants like Sarah are stalwart defenders of the ‘look, lust, but DON’T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE’ philosophy… which, frankly, I always thought was her great starburst selling point for schmucks like Rich Lowrey. Getting to publicly trumpet their Rethug manliness, male-bond over it, while remaining secure in their secret hearts that they’d never have to actually “pony up” and prove their vast heterosexuality.
licensed to kill time
I’m late to the party as usual and no doubt every funny/intelligent/snarky comment has already been made. Yesterday I jumped in at the tail end of the Not Human/rape thread and put in my two cents; read the whole thing later and to my chagrin about eleventybillion ppl had already referenced the same event.
But anyone who buys the Palinista Puppet Show deserves to be bilked out of their last thin dime. I have the same reaction to her that I did to candidate G.W.Bush – “how can anyone be so stupid as to think that this person is qualified to run anything?”
Sheesh.
Anne Laurie
@ksmiami:
Not like the mighty Sarahpocalypse Army has been able to stop him, eh? I hope he’s got the sense to take his fifteen minutes and whatever cash prizes he’s offered, and then go home, get his GED, and have a life where he can be a real father to that baby who’s the real loser in this whole reality show.
What I’d really like to see as the happy epilogue is Bristol Palin, twenty years from now, as a successful progressive, speaking at the shelter for pregnant teenagers she’s sponsored so that those kids will have a chance to make their own choices!
Steve
I don’t see why everyone’s so surprised. I mean, if traditionally Republicans went to this shindig for no payment, then demanding payment is a perfectly mavericky thing to do. You betcha.
The Saff
@Ash:
Yam cracking up at this.
Gus
It’s a brilliant innovation on Palin’s part! She will get paid to run for President.
rikyrah
your use of grifter cracked me up. you aren’t the only one who calls her that, and it’s quite accurate.
freelancer
@IndieTarheel:
The Palinfreude brings out the best/worst in us.
Senyordave
There could be video of Sarah doing the wild thing with Levi and the wingnuts would still be lining up to nominate her for POTUS.
burnspbesq
@Paul in KY:
What does it say about our society that our political discourse has in effect become a My Friend’s Hot Mom video?
trollhattan
Any chance we can get Moose Lady a recurring spot on “The Riches”? She’d sparkle (starburst) the place up some. Also.
noncarborundum
@The Dangerman: Speak for yourself. As far as I’m concerned she’s very much a GILNF. (“Not” or “never”, as you prefer). Tina Fey, though . . .
freelancer
@burnspbesq:
That gives me an idea for a new IPO:
“Naughty ‘Merka.”
Fern
@Comrade Darkness: But they could tell who the father was, which would be a pretty good clue to who the mother was.
tavella
I mostly think she’s damaged herself badly enough that 2012 is impossible for her, but then I remember my mom once bet that Ronald Reagan, b-movie actor, would never be elected president. So I’m quite happy to see Levi keep the Springer show rolling.
Bubblegum Tate
@freelancer:
WIN!
Steeplejack
@ellaesther:
Thanks for that. “Eli’s Coming” is my favorite Three Dog Night song, and that was a delightly cheesy lipsync-fest. Bonus–easy link on YouTube from that to Laura Nyro’s original version, also a favorite.
I’m dating myself, but I saw Three Dog Night live in about ’70 or ’71, and they were incredibly good. This was a time when live performances were all too often a big letdown from the albums, but TDN was tighty-tight-tight. Sounded just like the albums but with live energy. (Must add that this was a time when they were legitimately a hot band, not the oldies fossils we see them as now.) Other awesome better-than-I-expected gigs from my college
dazedays: Allman Brothers Band, Stephen Stills and NRBQ.That is all. Oh, except “Shambala” sucked. Hard.
Paul in KY
Burnspbesq, who asked: ‘What does it say about our society that our political discourse has in effect become a My Friend’s Hot Mom video?’
I think it says our discourse is messed up right now. Of course, back in 19th century the discourse wasn’t so sexually charged (IMO), but there were surrilious accusations & libelous cartoons, etc. etc. being disseminated all the time. So I don’t know if there’s ever been a period in America of only elevated political discourse for about the last 170 odd years (since Jackson, the Clinton of antebellum America).
Bender
Morons.
175 comments and not one of you bright enough to read the 24rd paragraph on the second page where Politico admits this story is a fake.
I’m not surprised.
You are all officially idiots.