Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

With all due respect and assumptions of good faith, please fuck off into the sun.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Fight them, without becoming them!

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

We still have time to mess this up!

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

Let me file that under fuck it.

“In this country American means white. everybody else has to hyphenate.”

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You are here: Home / Garden Chats / Another Open Thread

Reader Interactions

96Comments

  7. 7.

    Comrade Mary

    Your begonia is dying because you have inspired Tunch to unprecedented degrees of flexibility so he could damn well pee in the pot.

    You’re welcome. Also, please set up a webcam so we can watch him committing herbicide.

    Your plants are pretty. Well done!

  10. 10.

    Justin

    I don’t see any cat spikes in those plants. Haven’t you, in effect, just set up seven litterboxes for Tunch?

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    in the previous thread, littlebrit points out eurovision is this weekend. Does the german girl sound like she doing a Lily Allen impersonation or am I hallucinating? NB: I’m only on my second gin.

  13. 13.

    Fergus Wooster

    John, you need to put some catnip and catgrass in pots nearby. Otherwise, I promise you, Tunch will eat the shit out of every plant you put in that nook.

  15. 15.

    Rosalita

    Maybe Tunch is peeing in the Begonia because you’re sucking up his space with plants… looks nice, I’m just saying

  16. 16.

    JCT

    Oh man, next time Tunch is ticked I can see a nice row of pots knocked to the floor…..

    Our cat knocks stuff off the kitchen counter to the happy dogs waiting below. We kept accusing my teenaged son of leaving food too close to the edge and thought the dogs were jumping up until we caught the naughty kitteh in the act.

  18. 18.

    beltane

    That jade plant is not going to make it either. The stand it’s on is just begging for Tunch or even Lily to knock it over. Pets and nice things don’t go together. My dog even managed to chew up the trim around my bedroom door.

  19. 19.

    Comrade Mary

    @MikeJ: I’m on my first gin-and-ginger, and yes, Lena does sound a lot like Lily (the singer, not the puppy). However, she starts sounding more menacing than adorable by the second verse.

  20. 20.

    pika

    Either Tunch is going to take up yoga, or the jade plant is going to understand Teh Joy of Being Punctured.

  21. 21.

    MattR

    @lamh32: Usually I think Beck is tasteless, but at least I understand how he is trying to connect with/manipulate his audience. But in this case, I still haven’t figured out what was so stupid about anyone asking “have you plugged the hole”.

  22. 22.

    Morbo

    And I mowed the lawn for the first time here.

    I also seem to have broken the site.

  26. 26.

    Jules

    Really?
    Those will all soon be on the floor.
    If there is something where my large ass cat wants to sprawl she just sprawls and knocks everything out of her way.

    But it looks really nice and I’m sure Tunch is enjoying a laugh with Lilly.

  28. 28.

    lamh32

    Anyone plan on seeing “Prince of Persia”. I usually one for a good escapist action flick (I love the Mummy movies 1 & 2, 3 was crap, but I have this unbelievable affinity for Brendan Frasier…don’t know why, but I kinda luv him…anywhoo), but I’m leaning towards no.

    1. I’m no fan of Gyllenhaal (sp?). Yes he packed on some muscle, but what’s with the tights and the psuedo English accent.

    2. I know the movie is based on a video game, but it is called the “Prince of Persia”, so when you think “persian prince” you think Jake Gyllenhaal??? Really! It kinda reminds me of Lena Horne/Ava Garnder “Show Boat” controversy.

    3. It doesn’t bother me that the movie is based on a video game, hell Pirates of the Carribean was based on an amusement park ride.

    Anyway…is anyone gonna see?

  29. 29.

    Corner Stone

    Arrrrgggghhh!!
    FIREBAGGERS!!

    They are everywhere! Everywhere I tells ya!

  30. 30.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    I still haven’t figured out what was so stupid about anyone asking “have you plugged the hole”.

    A. She’s Obama’s daughter.
    B. In the sick world of fReichtards, children are fair game.

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: Only because he’s afraid Secret Service agents would drop on him from a great height.

  35. 35.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    I think one of my begonias is dying.

    Is that window full sun? Get it out of the full sun.

  36. 36.

    Corner Stone

    @Tonal Crow: Well, honestly?
    I haven’t actually seen one here. But when Cole gets backed into a corner it’s the easiest way for him to dig out of it.
    He starts calling everyone “progressives” or “firebaggers” or other things that really don’t mean much to adults, and then he runs away and hides til it blows over or til his peeps sweep in to push the offending people away.
    He relies on a couple tried and true tropes to get back on top.
    If all else fails? Pictures of Tunch.

    But I’m sure that bitch Hamsher is around here somewhere.
    She’s pure evil you know. And more powerful than oil at 5000ft below sea level.

  37. 37.

    mclaren

    A peek into our near future:

    youtube.com/watch?v=MvRTALJp8DM&feature=player_embedded

    Once the police arm these things with guns (targetable flechettes) and put fiber-optic cameras on ’em, “police shootings” are going to take on a whole new meaning.

    And before you ignorantly sneer “Oh, that’ll never happen, they need lots of cameras for the computer to control those things” — what do you think the universal CCTV surveillance is all about?

  38. 38.

    Gozer

    I know nothing about plants (apparently you have to water them and stuff…who knew?!), but I am grooving to LCD Soundsystem’s new album This Is Happening and am digging a new car.

  39. 39.

    Steeplejack

    I am in that zone known as the “mini-weekend,” between finishing a day shift on Friday and not having to go back to work until an evening shift on Saturday. Not that anyone cares. Drinking champers and switching between the pitiful Orioles game, the Orlando-Boston game and stuff I am trying to whittle off the DVR.

    This just in: Gary Coleman dead at 42.

  40. 40.

    Corner Stone

    @Steeplejack: I’ve never understood why someone would drink champagne on purpose.
    Gives me a wicked damn headache. Like trying to figure out wtf Cole is ever talking about.

  41. 41.

    CaseyL

    It looks like I’m only the, oh, 41st person to note there’s no room for Tunch in “Tunch’s window.” Or does the back of the sofa do double duty as Kitteh Throne (in which case, expect it to develop a serious case of Tunch-shaped sag)?

    The new place is delightful. Is it just you, Tunch, and Lily, or have you acquired a human housemate and just haven’t told us yet?

  44. 44.

    demkat620

    Anybody else watching the Broad Street Bullies and gearing up for the game tomorrow?

    Btw, My Phils have scored twice!

  45. 45.

    jl

    I trust Tunch will be able to handle those puny little plants with a few nudges from the paws of doom, and his ample bulk . The poor BJ audience will have to listen to the sorrow and pity afterward, though, from Cole.

  46. 46.

    soonergrunt

    Visitor Profile Survey for Balloon-Juice.com?!
    WTF, Cole?

    Anyway, as a 16-year-old female Albanian who spends less than one hour a week surfing the net, None of the above, who is likely to get married and have a baby in the next six months, who only leases automobiles, all four of which are roadsters built by Albanauto (the albanian national car company, I swear I’m not making that up) in 2010, and serviced at the dealership, and definitely leasing new cars in the next year, and on and on and on, I have to tell you that my final answer to the question of “what can be done to improve the site” I could only answer “more tunch pictures.”

  47. 47.

    Anne Laurie

    @MattR:

    I still haven’t figured out what was so stupid about anyone asking “have you plugged the hole”.

    It sounds salacious to Republicans. Beck is flying his Beavis & Butthead flag, because he’s a charter member of the Two-Wetsuits-and-A-Dildo club.

  49. 49.

    Steeplejack

    Ah. Now a cool rain outside and negative ions wafting in the window. A nice evening.

    Orlando needs to tighten up their game. Orioles–ugh.

  51. 51.

    soonergrunt

    @Corner Stone: Well, I also own all sorts of Apple stuff, and consequently nobody asks my opinion on technical matters.
    Oh, and I make over $500,000/year in my three jobs.

  54. 54.

    stuckinred

    Drive by from Cape Hatteras. It was a crazy weather week with a nor’easter blowing for three days effectively killing the fishing. The people here are struggling mightily as the defenders of the wilderness and Audubon have succeeded in closing beaches to protect non-native plovers.

  55. 55.

    D-Chance.

    Guess what made its annual return to the property today?

    Kind of early, they usually don’t become a menace until July, but we’ve been in a bit of a drought, and the temperatures are now hitting the mid-90s, which is when they seem to suddenly pop up.

    I’ve already begun spraying around each tire of the car and each post of the carport to keep them out of the vehicle. That seemed to work last year, the first that I didn’t have them crawling all over me while driving.

    Anyone have any luck with these products? The stuff from (the) Home Depot works as a barrier for a couple of days, but doesn’t come anywhere close to the 60-90 day promise. Maybe 60-90 hours, at best.

    Even so, the whole subdivision is plagued by them. Evidently, they will fight off fire ants, so years ago it was decided to introduce them to the area. Well, no fire ants, no roaches, no paper wasp nests, no mice. But, these little critters climb anywhere and everywhere. Cars, houses, garages, boats, fences, trees… everywhere. If I can just keep them off the car and out of the house, I’ll be satisfied.

  56. 56.

    debit

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: I went to bed early last night, so I missed your question until this afternoon, when I replied here.

    @thread: I has a new iphone! After the Unfortunate Incident Involving My Son and My Old Iphone That We Shall Never Speak of Again, I found a 32GB 3Gs (refurb) and pounced like Tunch on a can of tuna. It shoots video! Soon I shall show you all how Chloe sits up and makes “eh eh eh” noises when she wants something.

  57. 57.

    srv

    @Corner Stone: I think one of her personalities was a lesbian Army sniper. Must be working for Xe with that salary now, but still not enough to get an Aston imported.

  58. 58.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I saw Steeplejack at the top of the thread and thought my monitor was upside down.

  59. 59.

    Steeplejack

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Worked the early shift today and happened to catch the wave. It happens occasionally.

    I don’t have to work until 4:00 tomorrow, so I’m still a threat to go into night-owl mode and shut down the thread later.

  67. 67.

    frosty

    @Steeplejack: Moi aussi. My wife and I finally realized we could never have more than one bottle in the house. Once you opened one, you opened them all.

    And yes, two bottles for two people provide wicked headaches. But a great time before you fall asleep!!

  68. 68.

    Mnemosyne

    @D-Chance.:

    I don’t know any of those brands, but I’ve used Hot Shot for years. It’ll probably give me cancer at some point but it kills ants dead and — more important — somehow blocks them from getting back in for at least a few months.

    Just make sure you keep pets and small children well away from the area until it’s completely dry.

  69. 69.

    Corner Stone

    Arrrgghhh!! FIREBAGGERS!!
    God damn you Joe Sestak!
    Damn you straight to HELlllll!!

  72. 72.

    Steeplejack

    @frosty:

    Maybe just a split a day, perhaps (for example) with that goat-cheese and spinach omelette at breakfast. Yeah, that could work.

  73. 73.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    @debit: Good lord there were 144 comments in that thread – the night crew was busy. Recipe sounds great. Would you mind if I cross posted that to my blog? (I can do it by your handle here or if you want your real name, email me – whats4dinnersolutions at live dot com)

  74. 74.

    demkat620

    So, tomorrow is grill shopping with my super cheap husband.

    I want to spend the money and get a decent gas grill. He wants to by a loss leader at the local department store.

    Any bets who wins?

  76. 76.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    @demkat620: My friends have a Trager (okay, not cheap, I know) and I swear that’s all I want now. Best. Food. Ever. Cheapest hot dogs in the world taste like Kobe Beef. The only thing I miss on it is that it doesn’t truly sear, but honestly I rarely missed it (and one summer we cooked on it almost every day – good neighbors!).

  78. 78.

    Steeplejack

    @demkat620:

    Well, it’s been a few years, but Cook’s Illustrated recommended the Weber Spirit E-210, about $400. I don’t have a gas grill, but I have always found their recommendations to be ultra–nay, über–reliable.

  79. 79.

    Corner Stone

    @demkat620:

    Any bets who wins?

    I am honestly confused.
    Your “husband” wants to buy a cheap grill. And you, presumably a female, want to buy a quality one?
    Up is down, black is white. Dogs laying with cats. Armageddon. Basically the worst parts of the Bible.

  80. 80.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @demkat620: I’m notoriously cheap too. I’ve prolly gone through about one cheap gas grill about every three or four years for the last 24 years. If I woulda bought one of those nice expensive shiny gas grills and kept it in the garage instead of out in the rain I woulda had a lot of extra beer money.

    OTOH, I’ll prolly get another cheap grill. Birds gotta fly and all that.

  81. 81.

    HRA

    @D-Chance.:

    I have always had the problem once it begins to warm up here. I spray around the entire foundation of the house as soon as I spot one on the deck or in the house. Home Depot has a few different brands to choose from of the gallon jug with attached sprayer. I bought Ortho last week.
    I will respray monthly.
    I also put ant traps in between the windows and the screens. I toss the old ones out and put fresh ones. I even put them on the floor near doorways when we didn’t have a dog. Last year I bought the outdoor spikes and put them in the ground near the foundation at intervals and well hidden by my plants. I bought them this year, too.

  82. 82.

    debit

    This post was almost like a poem.

    Plants cover his sill
    His malice exceeds his girth
    The begonia dies.

  86. 86.

    wrb

    I think one of my begonias is dying.

    She needs rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes.

  87. 87.

    OriGuy

    Ant traps work the best for the carpenter ants around here. Grants seems to be the most popular brand. Boric acid in places where pets and kids can’t reach. Try a spray with eugenol oil in it where you don’t want to put poison. That’s another name of oil of cloves. I found a spray that is eugenol and soybean oil.

  89. 89.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    @D-Chance.:

    Take a jar with a metal lid.

    Punch holes in the lid.

    Fill the jar about half full with a mixture of water and sugar until it tastes very sweet. Add boric acid (couple of tablespoons) and mix. Stuff the rest of the jar with cotton balls or paper towels and put on the lid.

    Stick it along the ants’ usual route into your house. You can sprinkle a little sugar around it to help them get the hint.

    You can spray around where ever they are coming into your house but in a few days they should be dead.

    (Piss Ants?)

  91. 91.

    LiberalTarian

    I killed a begonia recently by overwatering it. It was in a container that completely enclosed it and I watered it all the way past its comfort zone in it’s roots. When I saw it drooping I poured the water off it, but it was too late already. Fungus had attacked its phloem, and it was all over. Damp soil, not sodden, good drainage. Not too much sunlight.

    Chances are you can’t revive it, it’s just dying slowly.

  92. 92.

    racrecir

    The begonia is prized for its ability to flower throughout the growing season in sites that would be inhospitable to most other plants. Not to mention its wide range of flower colors and leaf patterns. Its blooms can be either single or double in shades of yellow, pink, red, orange, salmon and white.

    So what’s the catch, you ask? Insoluble oxalates, with the highest concentration in the tuber, make this a no-no for dogs and cats. Ingestion could result in a burning sensation of the mucous membranes, drooling, vomiting and difficulty swallowing.

    britannica.com/blogs/2010/05/begonia-toxic-tuesdays-a-weekly-guide-to-poison-gardens/

    …not that I’ve ever known dogs or cats to chomp on flowers.

  96. 96.

    IronyAbounds

    I think one of my begonias is dying.

    Hmmm, wasn’t that the title to the long awaited, but never published sequel to “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn”

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