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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread

Open Thread

by John Cole|  May 28, 20106:52 pm| 86 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I was driving to the fruit stand today and some redneck (with obligatory mullet!) in a beater of a pick-em-up truck passed me, and he had a bumper sticker that said “Horn broken- watch for finger.” Even though I know it was tacky, I laughed pretty hard because it just fit the whole truck perfectly.

It has been hot as hell here, and we need rain.

*** Update ***

Also, Lime daquiri.

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Previous Post: « Blame it on the puppy
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Reader Interactions

86Comments

  1. 1.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    He’s coming to kill us all!
    Ahhhhhh!!

  2. 2.

    Chris W

    May 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    One of my favorite bumper stickers:

    Jesus is coming….look busy

  3. 3.

    demkat620

    May 28, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Send some of that heat my way would ya? It’s about 62 and drizzly.

  4. 4.

    Chat Noir

    May 28, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Saw a bumper sticker today that said “Honk if you think I’m Jesus.”

  5. 5.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Plus, I feel like a King.

  6. 6.

    burnspbesq

    May 28, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    Who do you like in the semis tomorrow? I think Notre Dame rides it’s hot goaltender to a win over Cornell, and Duke beats UVa on a fast break goal off the opening face-off of OT.

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    May 28, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    I get to be smug today, because I rode my bike to work, but mostly I felt like I was gonna die. (Especially when I had to take a detour because of a jackhole cop.) I hate being out of shape and 10 pounds overweight. Grr.

  8. 8.

    burnspbesq

    May 28, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    @demkat620:

    Hey, do you think the Phillies will score tonight?

  9. 9.

    Carrie

    May 28, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    It’s been very hot here as well, we’re just at the tail end of a heat wave and no rain in the forecast until monday.
    My tomaters are thriving though.

  10. 10.

    Montysano

    May 28, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Cool and rainy here in north Alabama. Windows open, new Avett Brothers on the turntable, drink in hand. Later…. live zydeco!

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    May 28, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Who do you like in the semis tomorrow?

    Peterbilt.

  12. 12.

    Lancelot Link

    May 28, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    I’m burning up the highway early this morn
    I’m passing everybody oh nothing but corn
    Man outa my way I don’t drive with my horn-
    (scrreeech-BANG!!tinkle)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtzKr7ERmXE

  13. 13.

    Michael G

    May 28, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    There’s a truck at my work that has a front plate that says “Forget 9-1-1, I dial .357”

    I always think you better not have a heart attack near that guy.

  14. 14.

    Cris

    May 28, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    My sophomoric funnybone was tickled by a bumper sticker that said

    I’m only speeding because I have to poop

    I’ve been there.

  15. 15.

    South of I-10

    May 28, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Y’all wish Katie the kitty a happy one year adoptaversary. Somebody mix me up a margarita, that sounds cool and refreshing right now.

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne

    May 28, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Pretty girl! Charlotte’s adoptaversary is coming up in July — G found her and her sister in a parking lot on July 14th last year.

  17. 17.

    South of I-10

    May 28, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    @Montysano: I’m intrigued – who are you going to see?

  18. 18.

    Derek

    May 28, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    @Cris:

    Haha, that’s awesome.

  19. 19.

    Mike E

    May 28, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    At first I thought it was “Horn broke — pull my finger”, which is a toot of a different kind.

    The Fightin’s might be tanking so that the Flyers get all the sports mojo — they better start hitting regardless or I’m giving them the finger!

  20. 20.

    demkat620

    May 28, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    @burnspbesq: Isn’t that awful?
    I don’t know, they had this problem last year too. Can’t hit and run. Can’t manufacture runs. Relying too much on the long ball.

    Charlie better figure it out.

  21. 21.

    Politically Lost

    May 28, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Father in law’s bumper sticker:

    “NO IRAN UNTILL YOU FINISH YOUR IRAQ”

    It rained cats and dogs with thunderstorms here in northern cal yesterday. I keep looking at the calendar and scratching my head. Climate change? Nah, I don’t believe in empirical reality.

  22. 22.

    ellaesther

    May 28, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    @Chris W: I always liked “I found Jesus: He was behind the sofa”

    In the More Earnest Dept, the other day I saw “Born OK the first time.”

  23. 23.

    jeffreyw

    May 28, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    Mrs J keeps all the bird seed in the garage. Attracts mice as you would expect. Brain storm! Put the kittehs in there overnight! Bonus brain storm! Put the trail camera in there with ’em, set it to record 10 second videos! It had better work, dammit. And them lazy assed kittehs, they better put on a show.

  24. 24.

    ellaesther

    May 28, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    Open Thread, right? Open Thread.

    My kid (one of my two kids) had his last elementary school field trip today, and next week is his last week in the school that we have so loved these past six years. And I have been getting weepy for days, already. I blogged a little about it today, because when I’m weepy, I write. And when I write, I share: The hugeness of a little boy.

    And now we’re off to have fish tacos. It could be worse, I suppose!

  25. 25.

    Mike E

    May 28, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    @demkat620:
    It’s pretty clear JRoll is the sparkplug that makes the Phils go.

  26. 26.

    Montysano

    May 28, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    @South of I-10:

    I’m intrigued – who are you going to see?

    Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble. Never heard of them. Listening on their website, they sound OK. Plus, a good friend of mine is an accomplished Cajun/Zydeco dancer, and watching her is ….. ummm…. hypnotic.

  27. 27.

    freelancer

    May 28, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    last bumper sticker that made me laugh:

    (on the back of a Jeep Wrangler)

    “NICE TRUCK!
    (tiny font) Sorry about the size of your penis!”

  28. 28.

    YellowJournalism

    May 28, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    “I wanna be like Barbie. That bitch has everything!”

  29. 29.

    Politically Lost

    May 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Couple of weeks ago my sister called to tell me about getting pulled over for speeding and how she got out of it.

    She’s quite the actress. Apparently, she felt that she couldn’t afford another mark on her record. So, as the officer approached he car she started crying. When he (she doesn’t think it would have worked on a female officer) asked what was her hurry, and then saw her crying asked what was wrong.

    “I just found out my boyfriend gave me herpes, and I was going to go tell him” she said.

    After a long pause, the officer told her to slow down and put his ticket book away.

    That’s my sis. She’s a good egg.

  30. 30.

    Keith G

    May 28, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Oh my! Beautiful!

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    @ellaesther:

    And now we’re off to have fish tacos.

    I hope I end the night with a fish taco.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Somebody had to say it.

  33. 33.

    South of I-10

    May 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    @Montysano: I’ve seem him, he is good. I think he used to be the drummer in Geno Delafose’s band? I would put him in the more contemporary school of zydeco. Go shake your butt and have a good time.

  34. 34.

    blahblahblah

    May 28, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    Email to PBS News Hour regarding the May 28th Brook and Shields report:

    Mr Mark Shields,

    I just watched the Shields and Brooks report from May 28th. In that program you remarked that ‘Democrats will rue the day they pushed BP to make live video feeds of the leak available to the public.’ You spent the entire segment downplaying this disaster and focused on the issue as a Public Relations problem rather than the very real human and environmental disaster that it is. It was up to David Brooks, the Republican talking-head, to focus on the actual issues involved with cleanup. Further, Mr. Brooks _defended_ Obama on the salient issue of the government / private sector divide in responsibility. Where were you on the salient issues? Nowhere. You’re concern was Democratic PR.

    Mr Shields, you’re flat out pathetic. As one who voted for Obama, I’m embarrassed to see you on the air as a supposed Democratic spokesperson. Please, retire. For the good of the party. For the good of America.

  35. 35.

    AhabTRuler

    May 28, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    @MikeJ: Then this is fer you.

    This, also, but only because the line “Like Marlon Brando…but BIGGER!” is one of the most awesome lines in music.

  36. 36.

    asiangrrlMN

    May 28, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    @Cris: That reminds me of this. I love me some Margaret Cho.

    @South of I-10: Katie the kitty is gawjus! Happy adoptaversary, Katie!

  37. 37.

    burnspbesq

    May 28, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    @demkat620:

    As a Met fan, I might choose a word other than “awful.” But with Rollins out of the lineup and Utley looking really confused at the plate, they are limited offensively.

  38. 38.

    WereBear

    May 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    @South of I-10: Happy Adoptday Katie!

    Love dem tabbies.

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    May 28, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Turns out there’s a downside to being able to buy campaign ads at the rate of seven/minute: you forget what’s in them.

    http://www.sacbee.com/static/weblogs/capitolalertlatest/2010/05/is-meg-whitman.html

    I really, really wish ebay would have cratered in the dot-com crash.

  40. 40.

    trollhattan

    May 28, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Bumper sticker on minivan:

    “Honk if a kid falls out”

  41. 41.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    May 28, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    The Baltimore orioles have returned to the compost heap for the third year in a row (the birds, not the team).

  42. 42.

    asiangrrlMN

    May 28, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Cole, are we gonna have Karaoke/Dive Bar/Bad Judgment Night 2.0 tonight? ‘Coz I want pictures this time.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Mary

    May 28, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    John Scalzi linked to this and made me cry. Bastard.

    EDIT: And let me just add that it’s been a looooong week. This has turned into a triple shift month, with me terrified that I’m not doing my best for 3 clients whose calendars have suddenly collided after weeks of waiting for things to get rolling. One more week, one damn more week, and I can look forward to a bit of unemployment in June (to go with my unemployment for most of 2010) to get a little sane again.

    Also? Near death experience with crap in the gutter yesterday. Note to self: take the damn lane.

  44. 44.

    r€nato

    May 28, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    I laughed pretty hard because it just fit the whole truck perfectly.

    Once in Camp Verde AZ, I saw a total beater of a Chevy pickup with a confederate-flag-painted hood and on the sides of the truck, he’d spray-painted some kind of anti-Obama screed. I wish I’d had a camera.

  45. 45.

    Montysano

    May 28, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    @South of I-10: I think he used to be the drummer in Geno Delafose’s band?

    Yeah. Looks like he was the drummer for a bunch of good zydeco bands, and then switched to accordion.

  46. 46.

    asiangrrlMN

    May 28, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    @Comrade Mary: That story was amazing. Although, I think the best way for Marshall to show appreciation would be to win the finals, but that’s just me. Thanks for sharing. And, glad you did not meet your maker.

  47. 47.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 28, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Laws I am ashamed to say that I do not know the adoptadays of my strays, I do however know the dates of birth of my home grown ones (before their mother gets fixted). I have three kittens right now Treacle, Misty, and Sam, (I don’t know he just looks like a Sam). Mom Tilly will be fixed in the next couple of weeks, thanks to my tame vet. In the meantime the three kittens are charging around in the guest bedroom sounding like a herd of baby elephants. I think there is a problem with the way my house was built. There is no way that a kitten that weighs 6oz should sound like a baby elephant to someone in the room below.

  48. 48.

    Derek

    May 28, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    It’s “daiquiri”, and the lime is superfluous, as all daiquiris contain lime juice.

    I hope you don’t mean some blended sissy drink.

  49. 49.

    Steeplejack

    May 28, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    @South of I-10:

    I like how they wrap their tails around their feet.

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    May 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    Also? Near death experience with crap in the gutter yesterday. Note to self: take the damn lane.

    That’s what I claimed to be doing when I got yelled at by that damn cop today. Note to self: don’t move over to let cops pass next time, just keep the lane and let them wait behind you.

  51. 51.

    SiubhanDuinne

    May 28, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    @South of I-10:

    Katie is wonderful! Love that pose where they wrap the tail snugly around their legs to keep feet from escaping.

  52. 52.

    burnspbesq

    May 28, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    NHL Winter Classic at Heinz Field next New Year’s Day. Guess we know where Cole and geg6 will be.

  53. 53.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    @Derek:

    I hope you don’t mean some blended sissy drink.

    It’s pretty clear he doesn’t know any other kind.

  54. 54.

    Josie

    May 28, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    Oh, wow, open thread. I finally figured out how to put pictures on flikr and post them. Here are pics of my garden that I couldn’t post this morning. I still don’t know how to make them part of the sentence. That will be my next learning experience.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/49146863@N03/sets/72157624153770346/

  55. 55.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Okay who broke the thread. Twasn’t me.

  56. 56.

    MikeJ

    May 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    America Speaking out is back up again. Under prosperity, the top two suggestions now are end all farm subsidies and tax the churches.

  57. 57.

    MikeJ

    May 28, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    @Corner Stone: Girl Drink Drunk.

  58. 58.

    Keith G

    May 28, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    @blahblahblah:

    Yeah, he phoned that one in. Of the few Dem voices on TVee, I tend to value Shields input highly even when he is wrong. Not this time.

  59. 59.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 28, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    BTW the Eurovision Song Contest is this weekend

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8707657.stm

    If it were not for this contest the world would never know Abba. Hmmmmmmm okay but this is a good thing!

  60. 60.

    Platonicspoof

    May 28, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    It has been hot as hell here, and we need rain.

    That’s because someone has offended Mbaba Mwana Waresa, goddess of the rainbow, agriculture, rain and beer by over-indulging in mojitas, lime daquiris and only-Tunch-knows-what-else.
    Here in the land of microbreweries and hops we’ve been blessed with rain 20 of the last 28 days.

  61. 61.

    MattR

    May 28, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    The Baltimore orioles have returned to the compost heap for the third year in a row (the birds, not the team).

    The team has been there for much longer than three years

    @MikeJ: One of my favorite KITH skits.

  62. 62.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    May 28, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Okay so idiot still had an old story on her browser……anyhoo here is the Eurovision thingy

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment_and_arts/10185248.stm

  63. 63.

    YellowJournalism

    May 28, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    @MikeJ: Dave Foley was so cute and innocent-looking back then.

    “Tastes like candy.”

  64. 64.

    maus

    May 28, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    As a respite from US politics, enjoy this review of one of the trashiest pieces of braindead entitlement since Avatar.

  65. 65.

    suzanne

    May 28, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Somebody had to say it.

    Did they REALLY?

    My mind goes there without any outside assistance, thanks. ;)

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne

    May 28, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    @maus:

    When I first saw the trailers for that movie on TV, I swear I thought it was an SNL parody that had somehow been released by mistake. Silly me.

  67. 67.

    RedKitten

    May 28, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Nothing more refreshing than raspberries after dinner.

  68. 68.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    @MikeJ: I don’t click on youtube links anymore. My last laptop got the shits from doing that.
    Fucking sportsguy.

  69. 69.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    @suzanne: Yeah. It’s my duty.
    To smack that booty.

  70. 70.

    srv

    May 28, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Also, Lime daquiri.

    Caipirinha, also.

  71. 71.

    Honus

    May 28, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    @burnspbesq: if you knew anything about Duke and UVA you would have known to use the proper possessive pronoun instead of the contraction form.

  72. 72.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    @Honus: oooo…ouch.

  73. 73.

    Svensker

    May 28, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    @RedKitten:

    Nothing more refreshing than raspberries after dinner.

    Oh, THOSE kind of raspberries. Ha ha ha — he is the cutest.

  74. 74.

    Platonicspoof

    May 28, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    @Josie:

    I still don’t know how to make them part of the sentence.

    Someone asked that question yesterday.

    1) Write your comment.
    2) Copy your link address; e.g., http://www.flickr.com/photos/49146863@N03/sets/72157624153770346/
    3) Highlight the words in your comment that you want to contain that link; e.g., “pics of my garden”.
    4) Click the ‘link’ button above the Comments box.
    5) The window that opens will have a box into which you can paste (or type) your link address. Delete the http:// that is already in the box if it is redundant.
    6) Click OK.

    It’s actually easier done than said.

  75. 75.

    de stijl

    May 28, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    A guy who works in the old folks residence home across from my place has a stylized Sergio Leone era-Lee Van Cleef painted across the side of his beat-to-shit ironic Toyota pickup.

    The problem is that in a certain light, it also looks a lot like a stylized Dr. Phil.

    Major hipster faux pas, dude.

  76. 76.

    PurpleGirl

    May 28, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    @RedKitten: Cute. Wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy cute.

  77. 77.

    de stijl

    May 28, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    @Platonicspoof:

    Here in the land of microbreweries and hops we’ve been blessed with rain 20 of the last 28 days.

    Does the rain hold down the fast zombies, or does does it just make them more pissed off?

    [walking around deserted London/Portland?] Hello? Helllllooooo!

  78. 78.

    frosty

    May 28, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Nothin’ the Orioles need that a new owner can’t fix.

    I gave up on them in the late 1990s after Peter Angelos ran off the best General Manager (Pat Gillick), Manager (Davey Johnson), and announcer (Jon Miller) in baseball.

    EDIT: Oh. Now I see you meant the birds, not The Birds. My comment, off topic as it is, still stands.

  79. 79.

    handy

    May 28, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    @frosty:

    Arguable one of the top franchises in the mid 1960s through the 70s, continued success with Ripken in the early 80s, to disappear a bit for a while and re-emerge after Camden Yards opened in the 90s. I have a friend who is a huge Os fan, so I’ve become well-versed in their history. It really is a shame how much of a non-factor they’ve been the past decade. Them and Toronto.

  80. 80.

    Platonicspoof

    May 28, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    @de stijl:
    It makes them look up, and being perpetually slack-jawed, they drown.

  81. 81.

    beckya57

    May 28, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    Come here to the Pacific NW. Been raining and in the 50’s for the last several days. Memorial Day Weekend my ass (actually Sunday is supposed to be decent).

  82. 82.

    Pedro Baer

    May 28, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    @Platonicspoof:
    Oh you silly – zombies can’t drown!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSPG9QQg4C0

  83. 83.

    Yutsano

    May 29, 2010 at 12:00 am

    @RedKitten: I was one step away from being massively jealous of you because my raspberries are so late this year because of the weather. Then I saw the video. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I squeed. Dear Allah he’s gonna be a ladykiller when he grows up.

  84. 84.

    asiangrrlMN

    May 29, 2010 at 2:49 am

    @RedKitten: Everybody all together now: Aaaaaaw!

  85. 85.

    Josie

    May 29, 2010 at 8:31 am

    This is a test

  86. 86.

    Josie

    May 29, 2010 at 8:42 am

    That didn’t work. Another test.

    Hooray. Thanks

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