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He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Republicans would impeach Biden if he bit into a whole Kit Kat rather than breaking the sections apart.

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Open Thread

by | 86 Comments

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I was driving to the fruit stand today and some redneck (with obligatory mullet!) in a beater of a pick-em-up truck passed me, and he had a bumper sticker that said “Horn broken- watch for finger.” Even though I know it was tacky, I laughed pretty hard because it just fit the whole truck perfectly.

It has been hot as hell here, and we need rain.

*** Update ***

Also, Lime daquiri.

Reader Interactions

86Comments

  6. 6.

    burnspbesq

    Who do you like in the semis tomorrow? I think Notre Dame rides it’s hot goaltender to a win over Cornell, and Duke beats UVa on a fast break goal off the opening face-off of OT.

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    I get to be smug today, because I rode my bike to work, but mostly I felt like I was gonna die. (Especially when I had to take a detour because of a jackhole cop.) I hate being out of shape and 10 pounds overweight. Grr.

  9. 9.

    Carrie

    It’s been very hot here as well, we’re just at the tail end of a heat wave and no rain in the forecast until monday.
    My tomaters are thriving though.

  10. 10.

    Montysano

    Cool and rainy here in north Alabama. Windows open, new Avett Brothers on the turntable, drink in hand. Later…. live zydeco!

  13. 13.

    Michael G

    There’s a truck at my work that has a front plate that says “Forget 9-1-1, I dial .357”

    I always think you better not have a heart attack near that guy.

  14. 14.

    Cris

    My sophomoric funnybone was tickled by a bumper sticker that said

    I’m only speeding because I have to poop

    I’ve been there.

  16. 16.

    Mnemosyne

    @South of I-10:

    Pretty girl! Charlotte’s adoptaversary is coming up in July — G found her and her sister in a parking lot on July 14th last year.

  19. 19.

    Mike E

    At first I thought it was “Horn broke — pull my finger”, which is a toot of a different kind.

    The Fightin’s might be tanking so that the Flyers get all the sports mojo — they better start hitting regardless or I’m giving them the finger!

  20. 20.

    demkat620

    @burnspbesq: Isn’t that awful?
    I don’t know, they had this problem last year too. Can’t hit and run. Can’t manufacture runs. Relying too much on the long ball.

    Charlie better figure it out.

  21. 21.

    Politically Lost

    Father in law’s bumper sticker:

    “NO IRAN UNTILL YOU FINISH YOUR IRAQ”

    It rained cats and dogs with thunderstorms here in northern cal yesterday. I keep looking at the calendar and scratching my head. Climate change? Nah, I don’t believe in empirical reality.

  23. 23.

    jeffreyw

    Mrs J keeps all the bird seed in the garage. Attracts mice as you would expect. Brain storm! Put the kittehs in there overnight! Bonus brain storm! Put the trail camera in there with ’em, set it to record 10 second videos! It had better work, dammit. And them lazy assed kittehs, they better put on a show.

  24. 24.

    ellaesther

    Open Thread, right? Open Thread.

    My kid (one of my two kids) had his last elementary school field trip today, and next week is his last week in the school that we have so loved these past six years. And I have been getting weepy for days, already. I blogged a little about it today, because when I’m weepy, I write. And when I write, I share: The hugeness of a little boy.

    And now we’re off to have fish tacos. It could be worse, I suppose!

  26. 26.

    Montysano

    @South of I-10:

    I’m intrigued – who are you going to see?

    Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble. Never heard of them. Listening on their website, they sound OK. Plus, a good friend of mine is an accomplished Cajun/Zydeco dancer, and watching her is ….. ummm…. hypnotic.

  27. 27.

    freelancer

    last bumper sticker that made me laugh:

    (on the back of a Jeep Wrangler)

    “NICE TRUCK!
    (tiny font) Sorry about the size of your penis!”

  29. 29.

    Politically Lost

    Couple of weeks ago my sister called to tell me about getting pulled over for speeding and how she got out of it.

    She’s quite the actress. Apparently, she felt that she couldn’t afford another mark on her record. So, as the officer approached he car she started crying. When he (she doesn’t think it would have worked on a female officer) asked what was her hurry, and then saw her crying asked what was wrong.

    “I just found out my boyfriend gave me herpes, and I was going to go tell him” she said.

    After a long pause, the officer told her to slow down and put his ticket book away.

    That’s my sis. She’s a good egg.

  33. 33.

    South of I-10

    @Montysano: I’ve seem him, he is good. I think he used to be the drummer in Geno Delafose’s band? I would put him in the more contemporary school of zydeco. Go shake your butt and have a good time.

  34. 34.

    blahblahblah

    Email to PBS News Hour regarding the May 28th Brook and Shields report:

    Mr Mark Shields,

    I just watched the Shields and Brooks report from May 28th. In that program you remarked that ‘Democrats will rue the day they pushed BP to make live video feeds of the leak available to the public.’ You spent the entire segment downplaying this disaster and focused on the issue as a Public Relations problem rather than the very real human and environmental disaster that it is. It was up to David Brooks, the Republican talking-head, to focus on the actual issues involved with cleanup. Further, Mr. Brooks _defended_ Obama on the salient issue of the government / private sector divide in responsibility. Where were you on the salient issues? Nowhere. You’re concern was Democratic PR.

    Mr Shields, you’re flat out pathetic. As one who voted for Obama, I’m embarrassed to see you on the air as a supposed Democratic spokesperson. Please, retire. For the good of the party. For the good of America.

  37. 37.

    burnspbesq

    @demkat620:

    As a Met fan, I might choose a word other than “awful.” But with Rollins out of the lineup and Utley looking really confused at the plate, they are limited offensively.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Mary

    John Scalzi linked to this and made me cry. Bastard.

    EDIT: And let me just add that it’s been a looooong week. This has turned into a triple shift month, with me terrified that I’m not doing my best for 3 clients whose calendars have suddenly collided after weeks of waiting for things to get rolling. One more week, one damn more week, and I can look forward to a bit of unemployment in June (to go with my unemployment for most of 2010) to get a little sane again.

    Also? Near death experience with crap in the gutter yesterday. Note to self: take the damn lane.

  44. 44.

    r€nato

    I laughed pretty hard because it just fit the whole truck perfectly.

    Once in Camp Verde AZ, I saw a total beater of a Chevy pickup with a confederate-flag-painted hood and on the sides of the truck, he’d spray-painted some kind of anti-Obama screed. I wish I’d had a camera.

  45. 45.

    Montysano

    @South of I-10: I think he used to be the drummer in Geno Delafose’s band?

    Yeah. Looks like he was the drummer for a bunch of good zydeco bands, and then switched to accordion.

  46. 46.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Comrade Mary: That story was amazing. Although, I think the best way for Marshall to show appreciation would be to win the finals, but that’s just me. Thanks for sharing. And, glad you did not meet your maker.

  47. 47.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Laws I am ashamed to say that I do not know the adoptadays of my strays, I do however know the dates of birth of my home grown ones (before their mother gets fixted). I have three kittens right now Treacle, Misty, and Sam, (I don’t know he just looks like a Sam). Mom Tilly will be fixed in the next couple of weeks, thanks to my tame vet. In the meantime the three kittens are charging around in the guest bedroom sounding like a herd of baby elephants. I think there is a problem with the way my house was built. There is no way that a kitten that weighs 6oz should sound like a baby elephant to someone in the room below.

  48. 48.

    Derek

    It’s “daiquiri”, and the lime is superfluous, as all daiquiris contain lime juice.

    I hope you don’t mean some blended sissy drink.

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    @Comrade Mary:

    Also? Near death experience with crap in the gutter yesterday. Note to self: take the damn lane.

    That’s what I claimed to be doing when I got yelled at by that damn cop today. Note to self: don’t move over to let cops pass next time, just keep the lane and let them wait behind you.

  51. 51.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @South of I-10:

    Katie is wonderful! Love that pose where they wrap the tail snugly around their legs to keep feet from escaping.

  52. 52.

    burnspbesq

    NHL Winter Classic at Heinz Field next New Year’s Day. Guess we know where Cole and geg6 will be.

  53. 53.

    Corner Stone

    @Derek:

    I hope you don’t mean some blended sissy drink.

    It’s pretty clear he doesn’t know any other kind.

  56. 56.

    MikeJ

    America Speaking out is back up again. Under prosperity, the top two suggestions now are end all farm subsidies and tax the churches.

  58. 58.

    Keith G

    @blahblahblah:

    Yeah, he phoned that one in. Of the few Dem voices on TVee, I tend to value Shields input highly even when he is wrong. Not this time.

  60. 60.

    Platonicspoof

    It has been hot as hell here, and we need rain.

    That’s because someone has offended Mbaba Mwana Waresa, goddess of the rainbow, agriculture, rain and beer by over-indulging in mojitas, lime daquiris and only-Tunch-knows-what-else.
    Here in the land of microbreweries and hops we’ve been blessed with rain 20 of the last 28 days.

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne

    @maus:

    When I first saw the trailers for that movie on TV, I swear I thought it was an SNL parody that had somehow been released by mistake. Silly me.

  68. 68.

    Corner Stone

    @MikeJ: I don’t click on youtube links anymore. My last laptop got the shits from doing that.
    Fucking sportsguy.

  71. 71.

    Honus

    @burnspbesq: if you knew anything about Duke and UVA you would have known to use the proper possessive pronoun instead of the contraction form.

  73. 73.

    Svensker

    @RedKitten:

    Nothing more refreshing than raspberries after dinner.

    Oh, THOSE kind of raspberries. Ha ha ha — he is the cutest.

  74. 74.

    Platonicspoof

    @Josie:

    I still don’t know how to make them part of the sentence.

    Someone asked that question yesterday.

    1) Write your comment.
    2) Copy your link address; e.g., http://www.flickr.com/photos/49146863@N03/sets/72157624153770346/
    3) Highlight the words in your comment that you want to contain that link; e.g., “pics of my garden”.
    4) Click the ‘link’ button above the Comments box.
    5) The window that opens will have a box into which you can paste (or type) your link address. Delete the http:// that is already in the box if it is redundant.
    6) Click OK.

    It’s actually easier done than said.

  75. 75.

    de stijl

    A guy who works in the old folks residence home across from my place has a stylized Sergio Leone era-Lee Van Cleef painted across the side of his beat-to-shit ironic Toyota pickup.

    The problem is that in a certain light, it also looks a lot like a stylized Dr. Phil.

    Major hipster faux pas, dude.

  77. 77.

    de stijl

    @Platonicspoof:

    Here in the land of microbreweries and hops we’ve been blessed with rain 20 of the last 28 days.

    Does the rain hold down the fast zombies, or does does it just make them more pissed off?

    [walking around deserted London/Portland?] Hello? Helllllooooo!

  78. 78.

    frosty

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Nothin’ the Orioles need that a new owner can’t fix.

    I gave up on them in the late 1990s after Peter Angelos ran off the best General Manager (Pat Gillick), Manager (Davey Johnson), and announcer (Jon Miller) in baseball.

    EDIT: Oh. Now I see you meant the birds, not The Birds. My comment, off topic as it is, still stands.

  79. 79.

    handy

    @frosty:

    Arguable one of the top franchises in the mid 1960s through the 70s, continued success with Ripken in the early 80s, to disappear a bit for a while and re-emerge after Camden Yards opened in the 90s. I have a friend who is a huge Os fan, so I’ve become well-versed in their history. It really is a shame how much of a non-factor they’ve been the past decade. Them and Toronto.

  81. 81.

    beckya57

    Come here to the Pacific NW. Been raining and in the 50’s for the last several days. Memorial Day Weekend my ass (actually Sunday is supposed to be decent).

  83. 83.

    Yutsano

    @RedKitten: I was one step away from being massively jealous of you because my raspberries are so late this year because of the weather. Then I saw the video. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I squeed. Dear Allah he’s gonna be a ladykiller when he grows up.

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