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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Just Kidding

Just Kidding

by Tim F|  February 1, 20068:41 pm| 33 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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On a day when every damned news item seems to revolve around the SOTU, Bush’s unexpected pledge to cut our inputs of mideast oil garnered praise from all corners even though in terms of total imports it would only cut our intake by about 7% (about 10% of our imports come from the mideast). It sounded like a good idea to me.

Well, fool me once, ha ha. It turns out Bush only said it because he likes the sound of people clapping.

WASHINGTON – One day after President Bush vowed to reduce America’s dependence on Middle East oil by cutting imports from there 75 percent by 2025, his energy secretary and national economic adviser said Wednesday that the president didn’t mean it literally.

Not to be outdone, we pledge a 75 percent increase in pictures that are so bloody cute that you practically soil yourself. Effective immediately. (scripted pause) Thank you all.

Chick
Blissfully unaware of what I had for lunch
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Reader Interactions

33Comments

  1. 1.

    Steve

    February 1, 2006 at 8:44 pm

    The SOTU gets dissected by a million advisors, it probably goes through more drafts than any other speech the President delivers, and here they are trying to tell us that the President just randomly threw in some hyperbole without asking anyone? If this explanation works, maybe they’ll wish they had used it for the sixteen words.

  2. 2.

    rachel

    February 1, 2006 at 8:47 pm

    Awwwww… Cute!

    Darn Bush for getting my hopes up like that and then squelching them. Again. :-( It’s not like we’re going to get more time to get ready for what happens after peak oil. Oil, we can make if we have to, but time is a rarer and more fleeting commodity.

    And OT: Two more coal miners killed in WV. Just what the heck is going on over there?

  3. 3.

    Sirkowski

    February 1, 2006 at 8:58 pm

    hahaha! Such a joker that George W. Bush.

    “Bend over, I won’t fuck you in the ass, promised…”

    *grin*

  4. 4.

    Mr. Moderate

    February 1, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    How did I know it was too good to be true. He was also quoted as saying not to expect anything from the government on high energy prices since the market will just take care of it (although isn’t there indication that the energy companies are playing shell games to manipulate the prices on the commodities exchanges?). So that pledge to help there also went out the window too. I wonder what other fluff from SOTU we can expect to hear him recant on.

  5. 5.

    BumperStickerist

    February 1, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    ummm, sorry Tim, by 2025 Iraq will be the 53rd star on the flag.

    Venezuela will be the 52nd and Puerto Rico will be the first next one.

    So that’ll be domestic oil flowing from those locations.

    Sweet, sweet (light crude) domestic oil

  6. 6.

    Mr. Moderate

    February 1, 2006 at 9:05 pm

    Oh, and doesn’t sound a bit like, “I was for reducing oil dependence before I was against it.” Flip-flopper!

  7. 7.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    February 1, 2006 at 9:08 pm

    his energy secretary and national economic adviser said Wednesday that the president didn’t mean it literally.

    Hhahaha.

    I’ll bet Bush didn’t mean a lot of the things he said last night “literally”.

  8. 8.

    rilkefan

    February 1, 2006 at 9:39 pm

    I tried to post that here earlier today and my browser died. Just don’t have the skillz.

  9. 9.

    norbizness

    February 1, 2006 at 9:40 pm

    He was literal about those animal-human hybrids that walk among us, though, but it has little connection to his having seen Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers just two nights ago.

  10. 10.

    Perry Como

    February 1, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    He was literal about those animal-human hybrids that walk among us

    Shhhh. The Chuck Norris centaurs may hear you…

  11. 11.

    The Other Steve

    February 1, 2006 at 10:03 pm

    Venezuela will be the 52nd and Puerto Rico will be the first next one.

    Oh come on. Canada has more oil than Puerto Rico.

  12. 12.

    The Other Steve

    February 1, 2006 at 10:05 pm

    Maybe after the next SOTU they can have Ashton Kutcher come out and yell.

    “HA! YOU’VE ALL BEEN PUNKED! SUCKERS!”

  13. 13.

    Thomas

    February 1, 2006 at 10:06 pm

    Horses get pissed at the Chuck Norris centaur because, although he has hands, he still insists on kicking your ass.

  14. 14.

    ImJohnGalt

    February 1, 2006 at 10:09 pm

    That was the cutest picture you could find at cuteoverload.com? Didn’t you see the one of the chihuahua and the kitten hugging? I mean, c’mon, man!

  15. 15.

    MI

    February 1, 2006 at 10:45 pm

    John, didn’t you call this a few posts down or was that something else? Anyway..

    “the president didn’t mean it literally.”

    How…perfect is that?

  16. 16.

    MI

    February 1, 2006 at 10:57 pm

    Oh, it wasn’t about this specifically, but..“I can’t be the only one who just doesn’t believe Bush is serious about oil independence…”

    It’s not that he isn’t serious, it’s that he’s not literal.

    btw, the Republican party would have already ruined the career of a Democratic politician who said something that wasn’t true and then used the idea he wasn’t being literal as an excuse. Which I don’t mean as an indictment of the Republican party at all, but rather the continued inability of the Democratic party to be even remotely effective politically.

  17. 17.

    AkaDad

    February 2, 2006 at 12:11 am

    MI Says:

    “but rather the continued inability of the Democratic party to be even remotely effective politically.”

    I agree. I get so frustrated at the Democrats sometimes.

    I feel like I’m at an orgy, but I have permanent erectile dysfunction.

  18. 18.

    The Other Steve

    February 2, 2006 at 12:21 am

    Which I don’t mean as an indictment of the Republican party at all, but rather the continued inability of the Democratic party to be even remotely effective politically.

    I just got done listening to an interview with Steno Sue on NPR, where she and her co-reporter said matter of factly that they didn’t believe Jack Abramhoff did anything wrong, he was just more successful at lobbying than others.

    While I agree the Democrats don’t politic effectively, I believe it’s in large part because they stupidly think the media is going to be fair to them.

  19. 19.

    StupidityRules

    February 2, 2006 at 1:00 am

    Exactly how much of the US government does the Saudi own?

    I’m guessing Bush went a bit too far with this statement and the Saudi ambassador had to pull on Georgie’s leach to get him back in line….

  20. 20.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    February 2, 2006 at 1:07 am

    I feel like I’m at an orgy, but I have permanent erectile dysfunction.

    LMAO.

  21. 21.

    Pooh

    February 2, 2006 at 1:23 am

    Contender for F’ed up story of the year, breaking on CNN.

    Drug Smuggling Puppies

  22. 22.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    February 2, 2006 at 1:30 am

    That’s absolutely sickening.

    But you know why it pisses me off even more?

    Because I know the DEA and the pro-Drug warriors will use this to smear all drug users…

  23. 23.

    Pooh

    February 2, 2006 at 1:54 am

    TDV,

    This is such a better argument for legalization then it is for stiffer enforcement. But when you worship to the supply-side jesus, there is only one answer. No, not more tax cuts. It’s to declare war on a concept. In this case Puppy-Mules.

  24. 24.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    February 2, 2006 at 2:01 am

    lol @ SSJ reference.

    You’re right Pooh. If you think about it logically, it is a better argument for legalization, but people don’t think logically about assholes putting drugs in the bellys of puppies and cutting them. They think emotionally and emtional thinking leads to “All Drug Users must be evil”

  25. 25.

    norbizness

    February 2, 2006 at 8:51 am

    I think that the quick turnaround comes from Dick Cheney reminding GW that the Saudis have in their possession a remote control hooked up to his pacemaker.

  26. 26.

    muddy

    February 2, 2006 at 8:58 am

    I’m so bummed. I totally believed him! How can a president just stand there and lie to the American people? Well, at least it was only the first time, so I’ll give him a pass.

  27. 27.

    skip

    February 2, 2006 at 9:47 am

    Who’d a thunk that Karl would fluff up like that after a long-overdue shower!

  28. 28.

    Mr.Ortiz

    February 2, 2006 at 10:42 am

    “There’s an old saying in Texas that says: Seven …. Seventy-five percent of … Middle Eastern oil by 2029 … We’ll reduce our dependency when monkeys fly out my butt.”

  29. 29.

    Sstarr

    February 2, 2006 at 11:55 am

    Oh my God!

    I hope he wasn’t also kidding about stopping all that “genetical” engineering and passing laws against the ANIMAL-HUMAN HYBRIDS! Because those flying monkey men scare me.

  30. 30.

    Lee

    February 2, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    Where is Stormy to help us out on this one? This really seems like he flipped flopped, or maybe he was jsut lieing out his butt in the first place.

  31. 31.

    chefrad

    February 2, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    Clearly Karl’s hairplugs are working their cathectic magic.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. The Moderate Voice says:
    February 2, 2006 at 2:01 am

    Bush Backs State Of The Union Vow On Reducing Middle East Oil

    It sounds one of President George Bush’s most publicized ringing declarations has now been discreetly declared what the Nixon administration used to call “inoperative.”

  2. Balloon Juice says:
    February 2, 2006 at 9:00 am

    […] Just Kidding […]

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