Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
I’m not sure the “baby carriage” stanza is relevant here, but here we go!
Cole is getting hitched!
It’s their big day – let’s keep this one politics free.
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage – Cole and Joelle – Here We Go!Post + Comments (244)
I don’t really have anything to say except I’m as calm as can be but the people around me seem kind of amped up.
More than a decade ago, my kid made me watch “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” I mostly kept my skepticism to myself, but I wasn’t impressed. In my opinion, the film would have been much improved with more Joan Cusack and less puerile adolescent self pity.
But one line from it stuck with me: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” I think that’s true. I’ve seen the thesis borne out in good relationships and terrible ones, in my own life and from what I’ve observed in the lives of others.
With this framework in mind, I’ve offered congratulations to many marrying friends, sometimes thinking to myself “good luck with that, pal” and other times confident things will work out.
Observing from a distance, I think John and Joelle belong in the latter category. All I really know about Joelle is that she knows a mensch when she sees one; she recognized the loving, compassionate, honest center John conceals beneath the curmudgeonly exterior. ‘Tis enough!
I don’t know much, but I’ve managed to stay happily married for nearly 30 years — more than four times as long as my own quarreling parents did! Here are my Five Rules for Staying Married for a Long Time:
To John and Joelle, there are more than eight billion people on the planet, and you two chose each other. You deserve — and have accepted — love from the best sort of person. From my seat in the peanut gallery, that seems like a hopeful sign!
With much affection, I wish you both the best and sweetest of life for many years to come.
***
To the rest of you lot, I’m usually an open thread kinda gal, but maybe it would be good to keep this one focused a bit, e.g., well-wishes for the adorable couple, advice for the road ahead, etc.?
You can always verbally clobber each other for being wrong on the internet and get snippy about perceived slights in one of the other threads. Thanks in advance!
I just sent 121 email messages with the zoom link to the 121 BJ peeps who RSVP’d by email.
Thanks for all the nice notes, for all the fun or clever subject lines, and for most everyone following the rules and letting me know your nyms. Gotta keep out the riff raff, you know!
Anyway, give it a few minutes, and if you haven’t received your zoom link from me, send me an email message – and indicate in the title that that you didn’t get the link.
That will differentiate the “no link” messages from the people who I know are going to send their RSVPs after seeing this message. :-)
Just one more day!
Wedding Zoom Link 5pm Eastern – Sent To All Who RSVP’dPost + Comments (38)
Zoom links will go to for the wedding on Wednesday.
So if you haven’t sent an email message to RSVP, you’ll want to get right on that!
watergirl at balloon-juice.com
I can’t decide whether we’ll see what I like to call “deer in the headlights” Cole, “calm cool and collected” Cole, or the panicked energy of Bill O’Reilly in that famous clip.
Tune in this Thursday – just 4 days from now – for the Cole / Joelle nuptials.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Thursday, September 25, 2025
5 PM EST
It’s a Zoom, and if you want to attend, please send email to WaterGirl. I’ll send out the link the day before the zoom.
Please include your Balloon Juice nym! No zoom link without a nym.
Pro tip: It’s best wishes to the bride, congratulations to the groom. No congratulations to the bride for landing her man.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Details
The zoom will be set up to see the ceremony. All of us will be muted.
Then we’ll see the picture taking (short), cutting of the cake, and refreshments. Assuming that room setup will be conducive to that.
They are not providing cake and refreshments to the zoom attendees, which I think sucks, so everybody bake your own cake and have your favorite beverage at hand.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Etiquette
The zoom will be hosted by a formal institution, so we are expected to be on good behavior in the zoom chat.
Chat suggestions: The bride looks beautiful! Cole looks pretty good, too! The cake is gorgeous! Oh, there’s Mom Cole!
🤵🏻👰🏻
Balloon Juice Post at the same time as the Zoom
Questions?
In Case You Missed It: Zoom Links for the Wedding Go Out TomorrowPost + Comments (42)
Re-upping this post from Friday so we can catch everyone who might be interested in attending by Zoom.
I can’t decide whether we’ll see what I like to call “deer in the headlights” Cole, “calm cool and collected” Cole, or the panicked energy of Bill O’Reilly in that famous clip.
Tune in this Thursday – just 4 days from now – for the Cole / Joelle nuptials.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Thursday, September 25, 2025
5 PM EST
It’s a Zoom, and if you want to attend, please send email to WaterGirl. I’ll send out the link the day before the zoom.
Please include your Balloon Juice nym! No zoom link without a nym.
Pro tip: It’s best wishes to the bride, congratulations to the groom. No congratulations to the bride for landing her man.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Details
The zoom will be set up to see the ceremony. All of us will be muted.
Then we’ll see the picture taking (short), cutting of the cake, and refreshments. Assuming that room setup will be conducive to that.
They are not providing cake and refreshments to the zoom attendees, which I think sucks, so everybody bake your own cake and have your favorite beverage at hand.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Etiquette
The zoom will be hosted by a formal institution, so we are expected to be on good behavior in the zoom chat.
Chat suggestions: The bride looks beautiful! Cole looks pretty good, too! The cake is gorgeous! Oh, there’s Mom Cole!
🤵🏻👰🏻
Balloon Juice Post at the same time as the Zoom
Questions?
Re-Upping for the Weekend Peeps: Tune in on Thursday to Find Out 🤵🏻👰🏻Post + Comments (53)
I can’t decide whether we’ll see what I like to call “deer in the headlights” Cole, “calm cool and collected” Cole, or the panicked energy of Bill O’Reilly in that famous clip.
Tune in next Thursday – just 6 days from now – for the Cole / Joelle nuptials.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Thursday, September 25, 2025
5 PM EST
It’s a Zoom, and if you want to attend, please send email to WaterGirl. I’ll send out the link the day before the zoom.
Please include your Balloon Juice nym! No zoom link without a nym.
Pro tip: It’s best wishes to the bride, congratulations to the groom. No congratulations to the bride for landing her man.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Details
The zoom will be set up to see the ceremony. All of us will be muted.
Then we’ll see the picture taking (short), cutting of the cake, and refreshments. Assuming that room setup will be conducive to that.
They are not providing cake and refreshments to the zoom attendees, which I think sucks, so everybody bake your own cake and have your favorite beverage at hand.
🤵🏻👰🏻
Zoom Etiquette
The zoom will be hosted by a formal institution, so we are expected to be on good behavior in the zoom chat.
Chat suggestions: The bride looks beautiful! Cole looks pretty good, too! The cake is gorgeous! Oh, there’s Mom Cole!
🤵🏻👰🏻
Balloon Juice Post at the same time as the Zoom
Questions?