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Crockpot Mania
by John Cole| 58 Comments
This post is in: Crock Pot Craziness, Previous Site Maintenance
Crockpot Mania
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
I really should read my own blog.
New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.
Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.
Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.
Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.
Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.
There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.
When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.
Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.
Fear or fury? The choice is ours.
They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.
Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.
The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.
Hot air and ill-informed banter
These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.
Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?
The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.
If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.
Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!
The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.
Democracy cannot function without a free press.
Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?
calipygian
Crockpot is a registered trademark of the Rival corporation. Otherwise, it is a slow cooker.
Wouldn’t want the household appliance goons up your ass.
Charity Froggenhall
Chili!Ground turkey (93% lean, not all turkey breast, onion, garlic, too crumbly)3 15-oz drained & rinsed cans of your favorite beans (we like pinto and kidney, but black beans are good too)large can crushed tomatoescanned corn with peppers (drained)chili powderjalapeno or habanero pepper to your liking Brown turkey with chopped onion & garlic, add to slow cooker. Cover with beans, spices and crushed tomatoes. Cook for ages. Scarf down.
In general, make sure you brown any meat before adding to the slow cooker, for better flavor. Enjoy!
EastofWeston
I have a Guinness stew going in mine right now. Should be done in about half an hour.
Dug Jay
How about those Steelers….NOT.
myiq2xu
I used my Crackpot to make pot roast 2nite. I used the recipe from Lipton’s onion soup, but added Santa Maria seasoning and 1/4 cup Louisiana Gem marinade.
Mmmmmmm good!
myiq2xu
When your nose is running, do you ask someone for a “facial tissue?” Do you like gelatin for dessert? If you get a small cut, do you put an “adhesive bandage” on it? If you make a small typo, do you use “correction fluid?”
I have to go, I’m late for a “vegetable oil” party.
Cain
Thanks to you, I’m looking around for a good crockpot. Any suggestions? I don’t want the big ones since it’s just two of us.
cain
Jake
Attack of the Crockpot Crackpots.
Housematey dragged out an ancient cook book and made beef stew in our crockpot today. The longer it cooked the harder it became to keep the cats away from the thing. “Warm and full of food? Why, this must be mine.”
John Cole
Mine actually is a Rival.
myiq2xu
I guess we should add the (c) so John doesn’t get sued for trademark infringement and has to start charging us to pay the judgment.
myiq2xu
Make sure it has a glass lid. The plastic ones suck.
brb
Re: search for gluten free thickener, arrowroot is excellent. Its my first choice (no gluten sensitivity here). As for the sorely mistunderstood okra, slime is avoidable. For example, chop it into 1/3 inch slices (or buy it frozen, already chopped) and stir fry with oil, diced onion, bell pepper, tomatoes, add cajun seasoning (Tony Chachere is my fave). Okra is a great thickener, too, if cooked down long enough.. i.e., slow boiled in a gumbo stew for hours, it practically disappears, except for the seeds. My kids have no idea how much they like okra.
rachel
If you have a bread machine, you can have a nice fresh loaf to go with your slow-cooked main dish. One of my favorite recipes is beef stew done in the crockpot and a loaf of French-style bread with butter.
This is the beef stew I usually make in my slow cooker. It may seem a little fussy because you have to start it the day before, but it’s really not that hard.
Combine and keep covered in a non-reactive bowl for 12 to 24 hours, stirring occasionally:
3 lbs stew beef, cut in bite-size pieces
3-4 carrots, sliced
2-3 onions, sliced
3-4 cloves of garlic, minced
2 cups dry red wine
2 tsp salt
2 bay leaves, crumbled
¼ tsp black pepper
½ tsp thyme
Drain, reserving the marinade, separate the meat from the vegetables and pat the meat dry. Put the the carrots and onions the slow cooker and mix them with:
2 cups sliced mushrooms
14-oz can peeled, chopped tomatoes (drained)
In a large skillet, make a light roux of:
2 tbsp olive oil
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp dried sage
Reserve the roux in a small bowl. Wipe out the skillet and fry in it until crisp:
¼ lb bacon cut in 1-inch pieces
Remove the bacon and put it in the slow cooker with the vegetables. Brown the beef on all sides in the bacon fat. Do it in batches if you have to, and use a little vegetable oil if the bacon fat runs out. Do not over-crowd the pan, or the meat will not brown. As each batch of meat is browned, remove it from the skillet and mix it in with vegetables and bacon. After the meat is all browned, pour the reserved marinade into the skillet and bring it to a boil while scraping up the browned bits sticking to the skillet with a spoon or spatula. Cook the marinade down until it is about halved. Off the heat, whisk the roux into the marinade. Pour the marinade and roux into the slow cooker over the vegetables and meat.
Pour in until the slow cooker is filled to about an inch below the rim:
2 cups beef broth*
Simmer the stew on high for about 4 hours or on low for 8 hours.
*Good chicken broth will do if there is no good beef broth to be had, and be sure not to over-fill the cooking pot.
LiberalTarian
I have two, a large Rival for pot roasts and a small one for beans (but really, it is too small). I saw an ad over the holidays for a single heating unit with three different size crocks, which might be useful if I still had all the kids at home. Also, I saw one at the Corningware Factory Outlet that had a high, low and warm setting. I thought that one looked nice.
Cain
The best one seems to be Cuisinart which was like 80 bucks. I’m not sure I want to pay that much just to try out something that may or may not be something I use regularly.
I’m hoping for a new years present. :-)
cain
jnfr
Crockpot recipe:
Meat
Vegetables, cut up
Seasonings
If desired:
Beans
Broth
Cook on low all day. Serve.
cleek
all this crockery talk had me inspired to give my crock pot a whirl, so i dug around for some recipes that would fit what i had on-hand. unfortunately, i didn’t find any. but i found this recipe for London broil braised in stout… i put it with some roasted Brussels Sprouts and some full-fat mashed potatoes… OMG, so fucking good.
myiq2xu
I was looking for something else and found this:
Primarily this is because rulers of the exchange of mankind’s goods have failed through their own stubbornness and their own incompetence, have admitted their failure, and have abdicated. Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts and minds of men. True they have tried, but their efforts have been cast in the pattern of an outworn tradition. Faced by failure of credit they have proposed only the lending of more money. Stripped of the lure of profit by which to induce our people to follow their false leadership, they have resorted to exhortations, pleading tearfully for restored confidence….The money changers have fled from their high seats in the temple of our civilization. We may now restore that temple to the ancient truths. The measure of the restoration lies in the extent to which we apply social values more noble than mere monetary profit.
It’s hard to believe that those words are 75 years old, they have just as much relevence today.
I found what I was looking for though, and it’s really on point (all fours even) with what’s going on today. Read The Republican Ascendency by J. D. Hicks. It was written in 1960 and is a political analysis of the 1920’s, which was the last time the GOPers controlled all of our government.
Talk about history repeating itself.
ThymeZone
David Broder is guest blogging here?
Oh sorry, I thought it said “Crackpot Mania.”
Never mind.
myiq2xu
That would be “Chamber Pot Mania.”
demimondian
You missed the best parallel from that speech to the modern day. From the first paragraph:
The fRight wing never changes, does it?
Jake
I just updated the iPod (again, stop with the updates Steve) and this part of the EULA always makes me laugh:
Yeah, I read the EULA. Wanna make something of it? /ubergeek
demimondian
Hey, the Windows EULA says that, so surely Jobs and the Job shoppers can steal it it, too.
demimondian
Cain, we own a large, second tier Crockpot (with removable Crock(R)), and we notice no difference between it and our older, generic ones.
myiq2xu
Jeebus Camp is on A&E tonight.
Bob
Hey John,
I’m a liberal and think that you are great, even before you quit the Republican Party..but can we please see stories about Mother Sheehan again?
myiq2xu
THE iPOD SOFTWARE UPDATE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE BY ILLITERATES, MAROONS, BRAIN EATING ZOMBIES OR CANNIBALISTIC HUMANOID UNDERGROUND DWELLERS. THE WARRANTY IS NULL AND VOID IN THE EVENT OF GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR, SOLAR NOVA, INTERSTELLAR INVASION AND/OR THE EXTINCTION OF THE HUMAN RACE. USE OF THE iPOD CONSTITUTES TACIT AGREEMENT BY THE USER THAT HIS OR HER IMMORTAL SOUL SHALL FOREVER BE THE EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY OF THE APPLE(c) CORPORATION.
Mary
Oh.My.God.rachel. I have to try that recipe.
demimondian
Ummm…my-ick? I’m a troll. You say I no can has iPods?
demimondian
Hey, wait — that You-LA says “cannibalistic”. I thought it said “cabalistic”. I no eat trolls, jus’ peepulz.
I CAN has iPod!
LiberalTarian
Hm. U can be cannabistic if you want. Me no care. Me liberal.
EL
Cooks Illustrated did some testing, and like the following features: a glass lid that allows you to see what’s going on, handles on the crockery insert so it’s easier to remove, an “on” light so you don’t leave it on inadvertently (or off when you’re trying to cook something) and programmable timer that switches to “keep warm” mode when the time is up. Of course, most of their favorite machine (6.5 quarts) was $150.
FWIW, I have three slow cookers – a 6 quart only used for holidays and stock making after holidays, a 1 quart (where the insert isn’t removable, drat it!) for beans and oatmeal, and the most generally useful for 1 or 2 person cooking, a 2 1/2 quart model. None have a timer, and I never knew to miss one.
If you’re wiling to forgo the timer, you can probably get a mid size slow cooker for 40 or 50 bucks.
LiberalTarian
Go to any thrift store. They almost always have one. $3.
Jake
No 1 N the Bush adminstrashun can haz iPod.
Bob In Pacifica
24 hotdogs
three cans Spaghetti-Os
four ounces peanut butter
one stick butter
48 ounces catsup
one medium onion, diced
cook eight hours.
myiq2xu
Fixt
Yah. Me no judgmental. U can eat me.
myiq2xu
Rachel is your god?
rachel
The Windows EULA:
TheFountainHead
In related appliances, I could not live without my rice cooker. It’s phenomenal. It also steams meat and vegetables. I think if you’re going to have a crock pot, you need to have a rice cooker too. Just my two cents.
myiq2xu
Using related appliances is incest.
myiq2xu
If you want to know where wingnuts come from, watch Jesus Camp.
TheFountainHead
Don’t tell my Microwave that…
myiq2xu
Does this gastronomic delight have a name?
If you say “dinner” I’m gonna show up at yer house with a recipe I got from Dr. Lecter
LiberalTarian
Hm. Put it on a skewer and you can call it “Death On A Stick.”
Put the whole mess in the freezer, and later you can take it out and call it “Death On A Stick Popcicle.”
rachel
It’s called Bob In Pacifica Just Cleaned his Refrigerator.
demimondian
Lake Erie Water
Zuzu
Just came across something pretty unbelievable. Evidently a Marine claims his car was keyed by an “anti-military” lawyer in Chicago. And the nuttosphere is going…well, nuts.
The scary thing is, these people are actually posting his home address and phone number, not to mention his business contact information, along with thinly veiled threats.
http://www.blackfive.net/main/2007/12/anti-military-l.html
http://patterico.com/2007/12/30/legal-help-wanted/#comments
Just a matter of time before Stalkin’ Malkin heads over to check out his counter tops.
Anne Laurie
Late Sunday evening inanity:
How many list members does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the light bulb and to post that the lightbulb has been changed.
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing lightbulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
Five to flame the spell checkers.
Three to correct spelling/grammar flames.
Six to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” …
Another six to condemn those six as stupid.
Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.
Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.
Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.
Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.
Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”
Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
Four to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”
Thirteen to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs.”
Three to tell a funny story about their cat and a light bulb.
AND
One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now with something unrelated they found at snopes.com and start it all over again!
myiq2xu
You forgot to subtract 26 because one person is using 27 different “spoof” identities.
anangryoldbroad
As glorious as dry onion soup is,much of it is loaded with MSG. My son is sensitive to it,so we watch that ingredient.
Wolfgang Puck has a french onion soup with no chemical additives in a green can that works for roasts(pork or beef)in the crock pot. For those who give a rat’s ass about that sort of thing.
Barbequed beef or pork in the crockpot is lovely for sandwiches. Add the BBQ sauce later in the process,maybe an hour or so before serving.
I use my crockpot more in the summertime,it keeps the house cooler than running the oven does. I live in an older house and our oven tends to heat the kitchen and dining room up to the point it makes the AC kick on when it probably wouldn’t otherwise.
Tamsyn
Crockpots – get any brand and size you want at any price, just look for a few features:
* glass lid
* insert crock – so you can take it out to clean, and not have to clean it in the sink with an attached cord
* hi, low, and simmer/keep warm settings
Dracula
Canola party? Cottonseed party? Wesson shindig? Do I need to call in some Navajo to code-break this beeyotch?
p.a.
I have 2. The large 5 qt. is 30 years old without a removable insert. It has hi/lo and no indicator light. The small 1 1/2 qt. has a removable crock, hi/lo and a light. I don’t know about new high-end models, but I know in the past the fixed crocks were better; they heated from the sides as well as the bottom. My small one does not seem to work that way. Do any new models with removable crocks also heat from the sidewalls?
Bob In Pacifica
I forgot. Salt and pepper to taste.
Dreggas
We’re all criminals now
boctaoe
Crockpot Mania sounds so regressive. What next, Pressure Cooker Perversity?
Dreggas
Double-Boiler Depravity?
cleek
Crackpot monomania