Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

I was promised a recession.

Let’s finish the job.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

This fight is for everything.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE FOUND

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54Comments

  2. 2.

    binzinerator

    “Sure he’s a Muslim?” “Oh yeah”.

    That’s funny as hell.

    Seriously, give it a day and it will be used as straight-faced proof for the wingnut base.

    I’m gonna bet it will be co-opted and used in one of those wingnut mass e-mails.

  6. 6.

    oh really

    If someone knows who is responsible for that, let me know so I can toss ‘em a link and the appropriate credit.

    Whaddya mean who is responsible for that? Obviously, it was some nameless Kenyan government official in 1961 doing his or her job certifying the birth of a kid who would one day grow up and pretend he was an American citizen so he could run for president.

    The patriots over at NoQuarter will be pleased to know the mystery is finally solved.

  7. 7.

    Laura W

    Wow. Halfway through men’s gymnastics from last night on tape (yes, VHS and proud of it!) on a HIGH BAR high, 3/4 way through a Ketel One citroen and diet tonic, and then this laugh-so-hard-I-cry treat.
    A lovely palate cleanser after the intensity of this morning’s focus.
    Phew. I so needed that.

  10. 10.

    Warren Terra

    Eh. The birth certificate thing is over. I’ve moved on to the news that there’s now a smear circulating claiming Michelle Obama is a man, Baby!

    It’s really great that they can’t just support the other guy, Obama has to be the manifestation of some decades-long supervillain-type plot, complete with clones, sex changes, forged documents, baby swaps, etcetera. Me, I’ll pay attention again when the story has finally grown to include the pirate monkey robot it is thus far still lacking. And I’ll try to then stop paying attention before it all ties in to the Nazis somehow.

    Besides, McCain’s campaign is officially putting out ads to dogwhistle that Obama is the Antichrist. The ravings of some deranged bloggers are hardly even notable by comparison.

  12. 12.

    demkat620

    The Islamic Shock

    ROFLMAO! The fun will begin when the wingers and NoIQ and TexasDarlin’ all believe this to be the real thing. I gotta run out and get more popcorn!

  15. 15.

    chopper

    And of course this is good news for McSame.

    well of course. they still haven’t translated the cuneiform on his birth certificate.

  16. 16.

    Steve H

    I dunno, that font was not available in Kenya until 1974, after the Font Rebellion that swept Africa.

    heh

  19. 19.

    Ripley

    There’s one major flaw. July 11th didn’t exist in 1961 – it wasn’t developed until 1967, when NASA discovered an extra day that had fallen behind a filing cabinet in the Applied Rotation Lab.

    Fraud! Fraud! FRAUD!

  20. 20.

    Warren Terra

    Erroneous!

    August 6, not July 6!

    That’s what they’d like you to think!

    The truth is that while Obama is always portrayed as young and dynamic, he’s secretly a month older than he says he is!!!1!ONE!

  21. 21.

    CapMidnight

    Oddly enough, it’s printed on the back of George W. Bush‘s Texas National Guard service documents.

  22. 22.

    HumboldtBlue

    Boy, this sure smells fishy, in a keep some old salmon in the cooler over a hot, muggy weekend without ice kinda way.

    I mean, Kenyatown didn’t even exist until 1983 when Reagan allowed them to build a sister city for Fayetville, Arkansas.

    I’ve been to Kenyatown, and there are no Kenyans, no town, and no rock and rollers, including the fictional guy, B-Rock.

    Also, are we sure Obama’s Mama was Honky (that’s the righteous, 1968 spelling, losers) and not some sort of weird Kansas hybrid, like corn mixed with asparagus to make some sort of super-duper ethanol that turns your pee green?

    This is all too, too suspicious. I don’t see the official Kenyan watermark (a long distance runner competing in the Boston Marathon), I don’t the official Kenyan thumb print Identification required of all Kenyan documents.

    Also, Kenya doesn’t have a beating heart, it operates on an artificial heart developed by the medical firm of Hannity, O’Reilly and Ingraham — i.e., Kenya is heartless.

  24. 24.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Seriously FF, though as someone else said, this will be posted at NQ real quick and in a hurry as PROOF, PROOF DAMN YOU, that Obama is not eligible to be POTUS, IT IS PROOF I TELL YOU, PROOF, wait a minute while I get a paper towel to wipe the spittle off my computer screen, okay, that’s okay now, PROOF, PROOF I TELL YOU, Obama is not eligible to be POTUS and Hillary should be nominated right now… PROOF, PROOF I TELL YOU, forensic document analysts have checked this thing out and it is PROOF! Superdelegates you have to change your vote now! PROOF I TELL YOU! This is *HUGH AND SERIES* Have I covered all the bases here?

  27. 27.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    I’ve moved on to figuring out just how Obama managed to make it look like Bernie Mac died from pneumonia and look like he was in Hawaii when it happened.

    Don’t forget Isaac Hayes!

  28. 28.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Archaelogists haven’t found John McCain’s birth certificate yet but they speculate it may look similar to this

  29. 29.

    Dug Jay

    Don’t anyone send a copy to Andrew Sullivan; he’s almost certain to run with it as if it were real.

  30. 30.

    Krista

    The funny thing is that on birth stats, I’ve seen a baby’s height referred to as their length.

    But they probably figured that if they referred to Obama’s length as 20 inches, some of the more simple-minded right-wingers would never recover from the shock.

    Plus, the poor man would have Larry Craig stalking him for the rest of his life.

  31. 31.

    JR

    I’m kinda freaked out, guys. Right after I looked at this COLB, there was a knock on my door.

    When I answered, there was nothing on my doorstep but a DEAD BUNNY RABBIT.

  32. 32.

    JL

    OT, I have been off the tubes today and just read that Lieberman said that Obama has not always put country first. What country was he talking about.

  34. 34.

    Conservatively Liberal

    OT, I have been off the tubes today and just read that Lieberman said that Obama has not always put country first. What country was he talking about.

    I just heard Lieberman say that on KO. When he speaks, I can’t help but laugh at his tone. Our daughter likes to do the impersonation of him saying (in as deep a monotone voice as a young lady can muster) I’mmmm Joe Liebermannnn. Iaaahhh haaaveeee charrrissmmmaaa. When he speaks, he makes Ben Stein sound animated.

    That aside, he is a sad sack. Of what, I am sure that you can guess.

    Time for McCain to go after Obama and his lack of patriotism!11!1! I am sure that the McCain campaign believes that they are qualified to decide whether or not an American citizen is a patriot, but I am just as sure that the McCain campaign could not change a light bulb if their lives depended on it.

  36. 36.

    JL

    Jaime, I can’t link to Larry Johnson, sorry. I actually live in the state of GA, in the US. I was simply being sarcastic about McCain’s comment. I think that McCain has been receiving his lessons on history from those great historians Sean and Rush.

  37. 37.

    Davis X. Machina

    I had a cup of Captivatingly Kenyan at Brewed Awakenings this morning. Or was it the Udder Place?

    Still, damn fine coffee…

  39. 39.

    binzinerator

    CapMidnight Says:

    Oddly enough, it’s printed on the back of George W. Bush’s Texas National Guard service documents.

    Win.

  40. 40.

    jake

    When I answered, there was nothing on my doorstep but a DEAD BUNNY RABBIT.

    Don’t worry, Pamela will protect you from the evile bunny mutilating fascislieberuls.

  42. 42.

    Johnny Pez

    But they probably figured that if they referred to Obama’s length as 20 inches, some of the more simple-minded right-wingers would never recover from the shock.

    Excuse me while I whip this out!

  43. 43.

    Richardson

    What none of you know is that on the back of the birth certificate the following is written – (Facts that go a long way in explaining the mysterious origins of No Quarter.)

    ____________________________________________________________

    Dear Mr. Larry Johnson, Sir

    Thank you for replying with you name, bank account information and social security number! Your money will be deposited within seven working days. I was most excited when you replied to my announcement! When I told you I work for bank in Kenya and that Mr. Obama Senior long ago had deposited some 25 million dollars into this bank before he died in a car crash, you Mr. Johnson were the first to respond to this incredible offer….

  44. 44.

    John PM

    This is my new favorite site. As someone fluent in the language of sarcasm, I find myself laughing out loud at work … I mean home; I would never look at the web at work, because I am working.

  48. 48.

    jo=jo

    regardless of is this is factual or not, the Constitution provides that any candidate for the presidency must provide the documentation of birthplace (for citizenship), age, the amount of time currently lived in the US if lived outside for any period of time. At this time, BHM has not. According to the AHRA, these must be provided before campaigning..which it has yet received from the Obama or the DNC. If you thought the Gore fiasco was bad, can you see Obama winning and then stripped of the presidency because he was not eligible to be president?
    And BTW…the presidency would not go to Biden either, it would go to McCain

  49. 49.

    Philip H

    That certificate above is more realistic and accurate than the photoshop image on Obama’s website.

  50. 50.

    Igor Marxomarxovich

    October 27, 2008

    To my new friends in America;

    My name Igor Marxomarxovich I come from old country Russia one year ago. I thank you for freedom has been given me in my new country.

    I here only this time but have already vote. I vote five times already with the help of new friends at ACORN. They tell me OK I become citizen later. Never in my country can I do this. I vote three or four times later this week. They give me new name each time I vote. Give me American cigarettes to smoke in line. Sometimes even find Igor place at front of line.

    Such freedom. My uncle die three year ago. With help of ACORN he still able to vote (but not get American cigarettes)

    My sister not speak English. They even go vote for her. Generous American taxpayers pay ACORN help make this possible! Thank you very much!

    This beautiful land of opportunity. Even stupid person like Mr Biden can become president. In my country we call such people rocket scientist. That is person who say he smart, but too stupid to fly rocket straight up into air then down into ground to crash.

    I would like to show my gratitude to Mr. Obama. He not have time to find birth certificate to be president. He go back to Hawaii for 5 day but only have time to visit sick grandmother for hour and still find no paper. Media too busy to help. They have important things to do like find out if Joe Plumber in union or where Ms Palin get dress.

    I help them easy. In Russia all plumbers in union. Then, union become part of government. Dues become taxes. Then union part of government. Even rocket scientist know that. It not matter where Ms. Palin get dress. Maybe she give dress to Mr Biden, He wear on TV interview and answer mean question easy like she do. Then maybe he not get so angry and look so stupid..

    To help Obama campaign, I, Igor, make him brith certificate. Better than one DNC goons make for website! I take DNC like my KGB back home! (If not see crtificate try attachment)

    **I Igor make certificate only from gratitude. But if Mr Obama need Cabinet member, I Igor have many good credential:

    Former community organizer for KGB

    Much smarter than Senator Biden

    Graduate Moscow Elementary School in only 10 year!

    Former treasurer for Moscow Plumber Union – raise dues 40% only keep ½ for myself – buy big house with big backyard in Moscow(buy cheap from good friend, Moscow slum lord before he go jail)

    Graduate top of class from Moscow Elementary, therefore know 50 states in US, 15 states of USSR and 57 states of Islam (my school records sealed – I not want you see them)

    Not as good looking as Ms Palin, but a lot better looking than Hilary and Hawaii Governor – looks important to media …That why good friend Senator Barney get me loan from ACORN and Freddie Mac before I declare bankruptcy.

    Have birth certificate. Eligible be of President United States!

    All facts can be check on independent nonpartisan nonprofit internet site http://www.FactCheck.Igor.KGB.org. Media has inspect all document and see raised seal. All donations to Igor accepted.

    Remember, I Igor say vote early and vote often. Then you get more American cigarette.

    Gratefully yours,

    Igor Marxomarxovich

    This my great uncle Karl Marx. He shorten family name. This make him major league Wussy in old country. But maybe ACORN still help him vote too! (He still not get American cigarettes either)

    I Igor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Any complaints or comments please send to http://www.FightIgorSmears.KGB.org and they will be handled in appropriate manner.

    Please tell President Baracky to redistribute wealth. Give all money to Igor!!!!!!!!!

    Financial Disclosure (In compliance with Igor Honesty and Transparency Act): I Igor try bribe Washington Post, NYT, AJC, LA Times, Huffington Post, CNN, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, BBC and other mainstream media but they all tell Igor they already bought out or sold out. Something very wrong with this picture. I Igor think any bribe a good bribe. Even if DNC get there first.

    Please remember all this country problems caused by George Bush. He cause hurricanes, force ACORN and Freddie Mack give bad loans. He cause Bill Ayers blow up buildings(and other things Barney?). Cause Satan possess good man Obama to make him tell lies. He even cause I, Igor get hemorrhoids. Good friend Senator Barney try help, but only make hemorrhoids worse. We need change! Vote for Baracky! Maybe he help Igor hemorrhoids get better!

    I Igor raising taxes dues at Moscow Plumber Union meeting (2005)!!!!!!!!!!

    What good Baracky Cabinet member Igor make !!!!!!!!!

    Famous political strategist Igor always willing to help those not smart enough to help themselves!!!!!!!

    Now maybe Senator Biden go back to TV reporter Barbara wearing dress and maybe he understand question!!!!! Maybe able to handle more like Ms. Palin! Like man!!!!!(not wussy)

    This Congressperson Pelosi. She give more tax money to ACORN. She say Mr. Bush fault for bad loans like Mr Barney give me!!!!! She call it bailout. Not make sense to Igor. I Igor much better looking than her too!!!!! My friend Senator Barney call her a B but I Igor not know what mean ? place she get hemmorhoids

    Opinion Poll Who Make best President

    Smug Baracky I Igor!!!!!!!!!!!! Senator Barney Fallen Comrade Second choice to Igor

    —— Igor

    Xxxx Only Vote for Igor count. This poll like Chicago and Moscow election. Learn from Mayor Daily and Baracky

    Results 100% Igor!!!!!!!!!!!

    0% Not Igor

    Please make all campaign contributions to Igor for President! All foreign donation accepted!!!

    I Igor volunteer to make phony IQ certificate for Senator Biden if help Baracky win! Will give IQ 85 but will take very big bribe. Even I Igor have some morale!

    If no images seen go http://www.igormarxo.org.

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