Reacting to the news that Bush blocked the military aid Israel needed to start WWIII with Iran, the Astute Bloggers state the following:
BUSH IS A WIMP. A LIBERAL HAWK, BUT A WIMPY ONE.
HE’S BEEN WAY TOO SOFT ON IRAN, NORTH KOREA, THE MSM, SAUDI ARABIA AND THE DEMOCRATS.
Dude. You totally forgot the UN, the Dixie Chicks, Al Gore, and Jane Fonda. Also, Michael Moore is fat.
Seriously. How do you top that? Game, set, match, Astute Bloggers.
Comrade Stuck
The snake has finally eaten it’s tail, about fucking time. Ten days and we can bury the carcass and start gluing our country back together, if that’s still possible.
DougJ
It’s WWIV, you know.
bago
At least world war four rhymes.
reliapundit
thanks for the link!
you’re right, i left out a lot of wimpy liberal crapo on Dubya’s CV:
amnesty, dubai ports, miers, the pharma give away, NCLB, and so on: all liberal crap.
and he was soft on the nytimes and mikey moore’s outrageous lies.
bush never complained – even as the aclu and moore and the dicksuckie chicks whined about our VANISHING CIVIL LIBERTIES!
now obama’s righthand man is brennan!
BWAHAHAHAHAH!
how’s that changeyhopey thing working out for you!?
all the best!
AkaDad
A day without snark is like a day without
sunshine2 wetsuits and a dildo.El Cid
I knew Bush Jr. was a god damn wimp when he never even suggested invading China.
demimondian
@reliapundit: Wow.
Hey, John, you’ve found a foil that make the Confounderate Wanker seem coherent. Good job!
I think.
phil
IF BUSH WEREN’T A WIMP HE WOULD HAVE DROPPED BUNKER BUSTERS ON THE MSM.
Too soft, I say. Too soft.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Dear Sir,
While I greatly enjoy your blog I feel it is my unpleasant duty to point out that you misspelled Ass Toot.
Sincerely,
kommrade reproductive vigor.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@reliapundit: how’s that changeyhopey thing working out for you!?
Maybe we’ll see once it starts, ya tool.
…the dicksuckie chicks…
What do you have against them? Oh yeah, they criticized Bush.
Person of Choler
Alas, now we have to wait for the Iranians to finish developing their nukes and give them the chance start WWIII or WWIV or whatever.
Comrade Stuck
@reliapundit:
Hope you’ll survive the political wilderness that awaits RP. Dress warm and pack plenty of Cheetos, and drop be now again for some changeyhope. :–) Bwwaaa ha ha ha !
TenguPhule
Until tomorrow’s Snark.
Because Snark never truly dies. It merely bides its time before it strikes again.
RandyH
Sort of unrelated, but I see the Navy is trying to hire a private shipper to move 3,000 Tons of weaponry /ammunition to Israel at a port a few miles from Gaza within the next week or so. It’s an urgent shipment. What’s up with that? Gotta restock them before the inauguration?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@Person of Choler: Alas, now we have to wait for the Iranians to finish developing their nukes…
Well, we were content to bomb countries that posed no threat to us while N. Korea developed their nuke, so why not?
kommrade reproductive vigor
via Steve Benen, a nail in Snark’s coffin:
Ninerdave
But, but, but, John, as their website states, they are only:
PROMOTING UNIVERSAL HUMAN RIGHTS
demimondian
@kommrade reproductive vigor: Win.
I’m seriously loving some of the other quotations in that piece:
Ri-ight, Erick. Your own record is so *stellar*…
El Cid
You also have to wonder why George Bush Jr. went through the whole ‘election’ thing instead of just hunting down John Kerry and holding him in Guantanamo as an enemy political combatant. But no, he’s a WIMP!
The Moar You Know
@reliapundit: Wow. Respectful, well spoken, and sane. You mother must be proud. Especially about the "dicksuckie chicks" line. Does your mom "dicksuckie"? Just curious.
That he didn’t drop nukular weapons on all five and place the survivors into forced-labor camps is proof that HE HAS NO BALLS.
ed
Astute Bloggers announced the end of Ironicalness the day they launched their Internets blog journal.
Brick Oven Bill
OK, I’ll fess up and submit for the record that my ‘dark of the moon’ theory did not pan out. It is the 11th in Iran. But why did Israel not hit?
My guess is that the ‘let the government collapse’ crowd successfully made the argument that with oil below $50/bbl, Iran does not have a source of income. $50/bbl is the reported price point for Iranian oil, twice as expensive as domestic shale oil, I might add. Nice clean virgin fuel. You can make anything with it!
Now that I have gone out on a limb and failed, here is my next limb, and it is longer. Russia has wanted a warm weather port since forever. Putin viscerally hates the US for what we did to him in Afghanistan. Putin thinks Obama is weak.
So the real reason Putin crushed the Georgia military is to have instant access to seize Iran when the government falls. Warm water port, large oil reserves, instant access to take Arab oil when the time is right. All this in exchange for helping stabilize their friend Iran when its government collapses.
There you have it. That is tonight’s conspiracy theory.
Delia
It was superwimp Bob Gates that blew the deal for Bush. If only Dumbya had had the guts to hold onto Rummy and John Bolton. Then they and Deadeye Dick would have formed the Supertroika capable of nuking anything that moves. They would’ve let Israel take out not only Iran but also their enemies in Norway as well.
demimondian
@The Moar You Know: Who uses forced labor camps any more? That’s so…so…so…World War II.
The modern era uses the Guantanamo Island Gulag. Romantic Caribbean hideaway, tropical orange jumpsuit colors — so much more modern.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@Delia: It was superwimp Bob Gates that blew the deal for Bush.
Maybe, but I think the Asstoot bloggers are right that Dubya is himself a wimp. He is, his dad is – damn, it might be better for the country if we just stop installing Bushes as president.
Delia
@Brick Oven Bill:
Don’t be an ass. Putin is not going to seize Iran. Putin is making friends with Iran. That’s what he’s been doing for years. And it’s working.
Just Some Fuckhead
That’s the direct result of two or more astute bloggers working together. BAM!
DougJ
I don’t read BoB comments, but it’s funny to read people’s replies to them.
How the fuck would Putin "seize" Iran? What does that even mean?
Brick Oven Bill
And I am sure that Ahmedinejad looked into Putin’s eye, and saw a friend. The KGB was very good.
demimondian
@DougJ: B.O.B. has an intriguing theory about the Russians planning to overrun Iran after the government in Teheran falls due to the collapse of oil prices. The first step in their plan for region domination was the destruction of the Georgian military — somehow, Putin reared his head over South Ossetia and triggered Saalikashvilli’s bone-headed attack, thus allowing Russia to wipe out the Georgian military. Apparently, this is something which the Russians would otherwise find difficult…or something. For some reason, the significant mountainous region on the Georgian/Iranian border, and the critical religious significance of Qum, and the not insignificant number of Iranians who might resist a Russian occupation can be ignored by the Russians, but the utterly insignificant threat the Georgian military posed could not be.
Hey, it’s not my theory. I’m just explaining it.
Anton Sirius
Delia, is the Supertroika anything like Voltron? Does Condy form the head?
Ripley
Sparkling, shining, mouth-breathing bald-headed proof that snark isn’t dead, it isn’t even resting: "Gaza Update: Joe the Plumber Covering the Gaza Conflict from Israel for Pajamas TV"…. Man, that’s meta snark!
Josh Hueco
@Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist:
Lame, misogynistic taunts are the first resort of needledicked trolls when faced with talented, good-looking women who won’t put out for lame, misogynistic, needledicked trolls.
demimondian
Fixt
Brick Oven Bill
The threat of Georgia was NATO. Europe is completely dependent on oil imports. Tell me there is anyone in NATO willing to die for Georgia these days. There were Americans crawling all over that country a year ago.
There is one pipeline in Georgia, two pipelines in Saudi, and the 22 mile wide Strait of Hormuz that are the only things connecting Europe to Middle East energy. Europe is completely dependent on Russian and Middle Eastern energy. Russians don’t miss when they aim at large pipelines.
We have oil shale!
disappointedGOPer
Has to be a spoof…
amirite?
Josh Hueco
@demimondian:
Good point, I guess it is kinda redundant. :)
michilines
Don’t forget: Israel has the bomb.
slag
Canada. When a bunch of tiny, high-pitched cartoon kids and Robin Williams are harder on Canada than you are, you know you’re a wimp. Way to go, Monsieur Bush!
KCinDC
Yeah, come on, you actually believe something called "The Astute Bloggers" is not a spoof?
Brick Oven Bill
“How the fuck would Putin "seize" Iran? What does that even mean?”
If you want to see how the Russians do it, here is a link. Warning: graphic. Russia could take Iran at very little expense in the absence of a threat from the West. China would be a worry. China is also dependent on foreign oil.
Iran inherited a fleet of F-14s after we left and they stayed in the air for somewhere around a week.
Kalashnikov was a wounded tank sergeant. He designed that thing in the hospital.
Brick Oven Bill
Of course, the “unidentified” aircraft, referred to in the link, was an SU-25. SU-25 pilots, shot down over Afghanistan, blew their brains out rather than being taken captive. Being taken captive meant having your head sawed off. I am trying to find this provision in the Geneva Convention.
Ash Can
@reliapundit: LOLZ!
kommrade reproductive vigor
Well of course the Magic Negro isn’t smart enough to trap Republicans! The cunning Jew set it all up!1
The next four years are going to be soooo much fun.
Robert Sneddon
Responding to Brick Oven Bill:
Russia already has a warm-water port. It’s called Vladivostok. They also got Port Arthur and the Sakhalin islands back off the Japanese during WWII. They don’t have a big-enough navy to need more basing facilities; if they did they could just buy them the same way the US has, like Yokosuka and Guantanamo Bay.
If the Russians were to actually invade Iran, what happens next? Afghanistan II Electric Boogaloo. It’s three times the size of Iraq and look at how difficult it has been for the world’s largest military organisation to hold that particular hornet’s nest together, even with a lot of support from other countries.
Surreal American
Are you sure this isn’t snark?
RSA
Given the line "Promoting Universal Human Rights" at the top of the page, I wondered what I’d find elsewhere on the site, in particular in connection with Gaza. So, something not relevant to human rights, but suggestive:
I realize not everyone can do arithmetic, but it’s sad when people don’t know they can’t do arithmetic…
OriGuy
The way things are going, pretty soon Archangelsk will be a warm-water port.
Sirkowski
reliapundit says:
Did he just learned there was no squid in Watchmen?