Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Cole is on a roll !

Not all heroes wear capes.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Putin dreamed of ending NATO, and now it’s Finnish-ed.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

The willow is too close to the house.

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51Comments

  3. 3.

    Zifnab

    “You’d start the day at a park and then run into five former bankers, and then you’d wind up at a bar and all of a sudden there would be 15 of them,” Mr. Webb said. “Ex-bankers, ex-traders, Lehman guys, Bear guys, everyone. Guys that got screwed by their job and came to a place where everything was cheap. It’s fuckin’ beautiful and the sun was going down at 9:30.”

    Way back when these guys would be flinging themselves out of office buildings. I miss that.

  9. 9.

    MikeJ

    Buenos Aires has been a destination for the burned out young capitalists for years

    I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  10. 10.

    Perry Como

    Why do they need to go fuck up Buenos Aires now? This is why we can’t have nice things.

  11. 11.

    DougJ

    The hookers in BA must be busy with that many NY bankers in town.

    I just hope those girls are patient.

    He went to an all-boys private school; he lost his virginity his last year there. “It took a long time to get that monkey off my back; eventually a very patient girl held my hand through it,” he said.

  13. 13.

    daryljfontaine

    TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!

    It wasn’t quite in the article but you knew he was thinking it.

    D

  14. 14.

    Zifnab

    He went to an all-boys private school; he lost his virginity his last year there. “It took a long time to get that monkey off my back; eventually a very patient girl held my hand through it,” he said.

    Am I the only person who conjures up a fucking hilarious mental image reading that?

  15. 15.

    Ned R.

    @Zifnab:

    Am I the only person who conjures up a fucking hilarious mental image reading that?

    ‘Cause like a princess (her name was Grace?)
    Patiently yawnin’ in my face
    She shrugged and took me by the hand
    We made love in her minivan
    And that’s all right…I guess?

  17. 17.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    “Someone says ‘O.K., go,’ and they all start doing stuff,” he said. “I don’t know what to do. So I need to learn some new moves. It’s like, ‘Look angry. Look angry. David, thrust your neck out.’ And then it’s like, ‘Look sexy!’” He pursed his lips. “It’s just like the same look! ‘Look confused!’”

    Zoolander!

  18. 18.

    Walker

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    Wasn’t there some other group that fled to Argentina after a debacle?

    Who is going to be the subject of their secret cloning program? Bernie Maddoff? David X. Li?

  20. 20.

    nikkos

    I don’t know about you guys, but me and my buddies will be "rapping out" about this article for some time. Over Scotch. Neat, of course. Which I prefer to drink while walking through SoHo. Yes, they hate us for our freedoms.

  22. 22.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    "Dana, Dana, Dana, Phil Collins is one of the great artists–not musician artist– of our time! Look at my new business cards!"

  23. 23.

    JR -- Bryan, TX

    Zifnab (comment 4) is my new hero.

    With your permission, I’m gonna use that.

    A lot …

  24. 24.

    Legalize

    There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul’s apartment overlooks the park… and is obviously more expensive than mine.

  26. 26.

    binzinerator

    There is an instant sense of community,” said Jesse. “If you think about it, losing a high-paying job that you worked your entire life to acquire is a very traumatic experience

    This guy is 27. Worked his entire life to acquire that job since…when? His undergraduate years? Which was no more than 5 or 6 years ago. And this fool thinks that’s a lifetime?

    Mr. Webb said. “Ex-bankers, ex-traders, Lehman guys, Bear guys, everyone. Guys that got screwed by their job and came to a place where everything was cheap. It’s fuckin’ beautiful and the sun was going down at 9:30.”

    Fucking excuse me? They got screwed by their jobs? Fuck these whiny sons of bitches. Fuck their sense of entitlement. Fuck these spoiled assholes and their victimhood.

    What the fuck is it with these bankers? Several hundred thousand or more people in this country have lost their jobs who have worked more years in those jobs than these whiny self-centered 20-something shitstains have even been alive.

    These dirtbags are responsible for the anguish in millions of people’s lives here, and there they are, partying in fucking sunny Buenos Aires, pitying themselves, fondly reminiscing about the sluts they’ve had, or aimlessly walking down the street by themselves with a look of satisfaction and curiosity.

    From the Library Journal review of American Psycho (via Amazon):

    Pat Bateman, a 26-year-old who works on Wall Street, describes his designer lifestyle in excruciating detail. This is a world in which the elegance of a business card evokes more emotional response than the murder of a child.

    There is indeed a resemblance here.

  27. 27.

    Brian J

    Finance fascinates me, and I wish I had tried to study it in college. I could see myself working in the field one day, since there seems to be a pretty decent amount of lawyers who end up there.

    But should that happen, I don’t know if I’d last. Just skimming through that article, I don’t know if I could stand being around too many of those types of people. Not all upper echelon individuals are like that, but something tells me the douche bag quota in that field isn’t going to recede in any significant way, no matter what happens.

  28. 28.

    Svensker

    @binzinerator:

    Fucking excuse me? They got screwed by their jobs? Fuck these whiny sons of bitches. Fuck their sense of entitlement. Fuck these spoiled assholes and their victimhood.
    What the fuck is it with these bankers? Several hundred thousand or more people in this country have lost their jobs who have worked more years in those jobs than these whiny self-centered 20-something shitstains have even been alive.

    Yes.

  30. 30.

    TenguPhule

    Mr. Webb said. “Ex-bankers, ex-traders, Lehman guys, Bear guys, everyone. Guys that got screwed by their job and came to a place where everything was cheap. It’s fuckin’ beautiful and the sun was going down at 9:30.”

    I forsee a rising job market for hitmen to bump off these bozos.

  31. 31.

    Mouse Tolliver

    He went to an all-boys private school; he lost his virginity his last year there. “It took a long time to get that monkey off my back; eventually a very patient girl held my hand through it,” he said.

    Besides holding his hand, I wonder what the girl was doing while the other boy took his virginity? Sheesh, that must’ve been awkward.

  32. 32.

    Mike in NC

    Fuck these whiny sons of bitches. Fuck their sense of entitlement. Fuck these spoiled assholes and their victimhood.

    But all they ever aspired to was to be like Rick Santelli, boo hoo.

  33. 33.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    @TenguPhule:

    I forsee a rising job market for hitmen to bump off these bozos.

    Oh, no, no, no.

    This is strictly a do it yourself kinda thing.

    I see whacking these bozos as the next great American hobby.

  34. 34.

    Shinobi

    I forsee a rising job market for hitmen to bump off these bozos.

    Hmmm my boyfriend IS looking for a job… but you probably need a Bachelor’s Degree to kill douchbags now considering you need one to clean toilets.

    They really need to stop with the "poor pitiful investment banker" articles. I HAVE a job and it is starting to inspire violent urges.

  35. 35.

    Gus

    I gave up after about four paragraphs. My nephew works on Wall Street, and he’s a pretty cool kid. If I catch him turning into one of these arrogant douchebags, I’m going to kidnap him and hire a deprogrammer.

  36. 36.

    Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    "I used to collect stamps; and back then I got a lot of satisfaction at just looking at them. But I gotta say, it’s just not as much fun as watching one of these Bear Stearns fuckers bleed out."

  38. 38.

    valdivia

    This just shows you how little these idiots know. If there is a govt that is verging on the edge of collapse economically speaking it is argentina (not that I am trying to create a run on that economy mind you). I am sure they will much enjoy when their deposits are locked down in a local bank, like banks did after the collapse in 2001.

  39. 39.

    Delia

    Well, let’s see. The article implies that during this douchebag’s life in New York he couldn’t tell the difference between a "model" and a hooker in choosing his girlfriends. So I expect that after a few more months in BA, the same will apply to him. Or maybe that means there’s no difference between an investment banker and a hooker. Except the banker gets got paid more.

  40. 40.

    Blue Raven

    @Delia:

    Or maybe that means there’s no difference between an investment banker and a hooker. Except the banker gets got paid more.

    After watching a few episodes of Diary of a Call Girl, I’m not sure but that the courtesan class of prostitute could give the average twentysomething investment banker’s wallet a run for its contents.

  41. 41.

    Kevin

    Funny, a guy who worked in my firm (not saying the name, but it’s a finance company) is moving to Argentina as well, but according to the head of compliance, it isn’t due to "burn out", but more due to Argentina not extraditing people. He was quietly fired for a long line of compliance issues. I wonder how many of these guys who were "screwed by their jobs" are actually hiding from the law.

  42. 42.

    SLKRR

    @valdivia:

    This just shows you how little these idiots know. If there is a govt that is verging on the edge of collapse economically speaking it is argentina (not that I am trying to create a run on that economy mind you). I am sure they will much enjoy when their deposits are locked down in a local bank, like banks did after the collapse in 2001.

    Keep quiet! I don’t want these a-holes getting nervous in BA and deciding to come and fuck up Brazil instead.

  44. 44.

    Tax Analyst

    Krista said: Actually, I thought of something different altogether.

    Lady, you are wickedly funny.

  45. 45.

    lawnorder

    Feh… Poor guys thought they were gods, they were just pawns in the ubber rich schemes.

  46. 46.

    Jay B.

    Fuck, that’s where I wanted to ditch to — great city, great wine, great neighborhoods, beautiful people…Well, not anymore. Anyone have any suggestions for the Weimar-era Berlin (or Lost Generation Paris)?

  47. 47.

    Oliver's Neck

    @Krista:

    Interesting etymological lesson I got recently on the term "douche". I used to avoid saying it because I thought it smacked of misogyny. Then I was told that the term originally came from politically active women in the 70’s. They used it to refer to certain kinds of men in recognition that the douche is something unhealthy for and bad to put in your vagina.

    Now I use it happily.

    The term, that is.

  48. 48.

    Krista

    They used it to refer to certain kinds of men in recognition that the douche is something unhealthy for and bad to put in your vagina.

    The More You Know…

  49. 49.

    TenguPhule

    Ehh, maybe the Bugs will drop a cee-fractional asteroid on B.A. and solve all of our problems for us.

    Ah, Starship troopers. Fond memories.

  50. 50.

    Wile E. Quixote

    @Ivan Ivanovich Renko

    "I used to collect stamps; and back then I got a lot of satisfaction at just looking at them. But I gotta say, it’s just not as much fun as watching one of these Bear Stearns fuckers bleed out."

    Is this from a movie? If so which one?

  51. 51.

    scarshapedstar

    I was thinking more of George Carlin’s "People I Could Live Without" / "People Who Ought To Be Killed" routine.

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