Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

Another missed opportunity for Jamie Dimon to just shut the fuck up.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

We’re not going back!

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

The current Supreme Court is a rogue court. Very dangerous.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Republicans don’t trust women.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Pens v. Wings, Game 7

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94Comments

  1. 1.

    Twisted Martini

    I’d love to own a cat, except everybody is allergic. So we got a Pomeranian. Problem solved!

  4. 4.

    TenguPhule

    the difference between owning a cat versus a dog is like the difference between driving an automatic and driving a standard

    One is easy, the other is a pain in the ass and you never remember where to put your feet.

  6. 6.

    dr. luba

    Cats are familiars of the devil. Dogs just want to be loved……and to kill squirrels. No brainer.

  8. 8.

    MikeJ

    Cats are familiars of the devil. Dogs just want to be loved……and to kill squirrels. No brainer.

    Another vote for cats there.

  9. 9.

    Politically Lost

    Dog v. Cat

    Dependent v. Faked Independence

    Unconditional Love v. Unconditional indifference until tuna time

    Missing gag reflex v. Gag for revenge

    I say why choose between the two and have both.

  10. 10.

    Michael D.

    The difference between owning a cat and owning a dog is the same as the difference between driving a standard and making bread.

    Different category.

  11. 11.

    Ked

    I grew up with dogs. I love them (and they love me) but you have to take them out. Every six to eight hours. For their entire lives. I just can’t see owning one before I retire.

    Go Wings.

  12. 12.

    Neddie Jingo

    I assume the analogy is listed in respective order, and cat = automatic, and dog = standard….

    My Triumph motorbike (’64 TR-6, beautiful ancient beast, and definitely a standard trannie [in the older sense of the word]) has never stood by the kitchen door, whining piteously until I return from whatever has separated me from her, and leapt, yelping in ecstasy, into my arms on my return. My purring Nissan Pathfinder, all sleek and fast, has never recoiled from my affectionate touch as if my hands betrayed an unspoken intention to give her a particularly cruel cold bath.

    Automatic = withholds affection unless obvious and tangible reward is in view.

    Standard = absolute, unquestioning adoration, even when I haven’t changed the oil in 5,000 miles.

    Hey! Been torturing analogies since about 1978! Ain’t one of ’em complained. They like it!

    What time’s that game gonna start? My analog teevee died today, but me and the pups will watch on the satellite rig in the den. The cats? They’ll be off in the garage, trying to process the fact that some goober on the Internet compared ’em to the Pathfinder whose only purpose is to take ’em to the vet. They don’t care much for hockey.

  14. 14.

    Death By Mosquito Truck

    Good first period. I’m holding my tongue knowing teh sports godz stand by ready to intervene on behalf of the wings.

  15. 15.

    john@mm

    Don’t know when the game was supposed to start, but it looks like the Wings haven’t showed up yet. They look like they’re still in warmup mode.

  16. 16.

    Ked

    Is it just me or does the cable network have a better “studio” team than NBC? What does it say that a broadcast network won’t bother spending a few bucks to not look stupid? Then again this is the “all Leno all the time” crowd… I’m not sure they’ve had an intelligent thought since about 2002.

    edit: (Suddenly I wondered if it’s not the same guys, and I merely didn’t pay attention before. Talk about stupid.)

  17. 17.

    Joshua Norton

    Does anyone really “own” a cat? They may agree to live with you, but that’s about it.

  20. 20.

    Bootlegger

    I prefer a cruise control versus not when comparing cats and dogs.

    Lucky goal for the Pens.

  21. 21.

    John Cole

    Is it just me or does the cable network have a better “studio” team than NBC?

    Try being an AFC fan and having to listen to Randy Cross for four hours three times a season. After him, everyone seems good.

    Also, Jerry Glanville.

  23. 23.

    Bootlegger

    Crosby’s hurt, Wings on the power play. I predict only nubs on the tips of some fingers.

  24. 24.

    jacy

    Which one is the automatic and which one is the standard?

    I have both dogs and cats and drive a standard – I’m confused. And my analogy maker is on the fritz today.

    Please, please, please, let Detroit lose.

    Also NBC is to Hockey coverage as Fox is to baseball coverage. Need I say more? I have Center Ice and always prefer to listen to the Canadian announcers anyway.

  27. 27.

    Death By Mosquito Truck

    @John Cole:

    Also, Jerry Glanville.

    Jerry Glanville is da bomb. Smart motherfucker, funny as shit. Saw him racing trucks in Nascar once, no lie.

  31. 31.

    Annie

    I used to think that owning a cat was easier (yes easier) than owning a dog. No getting up at 6:30am to walk the precious dear. However, lately one of our cats has started biting my ear at 6:00am for breakfast.

    The good news is that I don’t have to get dressed to feed him….

  32. 32.

    Andy K

    @John Cole:

    Randy Cross

    Better than Phil Simms. Much, much better.

    Oddly enough, Cross isn’t so bad on his M-F job on Sirius/NFL.

    ps- Fuckin’ Talbot.

  34. 34.

    Montysano

    As someone who is pretty clueless about hockey, it just amazes me to watch a player take a puck that is sliding on the ice, and shoot it into the top corner of the goal. It seems impossible.

    2-0 Pens!

  35. 35.

    Death By Mosquito Truck

    @Andy K:

    Better than Phil Simms. Much, much better.

    Phil Sims would be better if he’d cut out the locker-room hazing routine he puts every broadcasting partner through. We get it Phil, yer the big dawg. Now shut up and analyze.

  36. 36.

    AhabTRuler

    @Bootlegger: You try telling a Siamese that it has to stay on the other side of the door. If I didn’t let her sleep with us it would be “meow meow meeeeeoooooooowwwww meow” all night long!

  40. 40.

    Annie

    Bootlegger

    We tried keeping our two cats out of the bedroom. One just purred loudly outside the door, and the other kept meowing….We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    Now, not only are they in the bedroom, but both of them have taken over my side of the bed (My husband weighs 275 and rolled over on one and that was the last time they slept on his side…)

  42. 42.

    Andy K

    @Death By Mosquito Truck:

    Packers-Colts game last fall. Kickoff after a score was downed about one yard deep in the end zone. Simms Stops chattering long enough to let the audience know that the kickoff went out of the end zone.

    The only reason this guy is in the booth is because he played for the Giants. Had he QBed the Browns to one Super Bowl win, he’d be calling Morehead State games on Saturdays.

  43. 43.

    Neddie Jingo

    it just amazes me to watch a player take a puck that is sliding on the ice, and shoot it into the top corner of the goal. It seems impossible.

    It’s a micro-timing deal. I once scored a goal at age 15 by slapping a puck stick-side out of the air, like I was hitting a baseball. I still think of it as one of my great accomplishments. The only thing I can compare it to is hitting a really great guitar solo without even thinking about it. Muscle memory. Amazing what the human body can do.

  45. 45.

    Bootlegger

    @Annie: I know this isn’t for everyone, but you have to show the cat who’s boss. I hiss, clap loudly and throw the occasional pillow at ours. They still come ’round for their lap lovin’ when I’m watching TV but they leave us alone in the bedroom.

  47. 47.

    Neddie Jingo

    OK. I’m willing to admit it: Fleury’s pitching an effing great game. Not sure the Caps’ Simeon Varlamov, for all his virtues, would have been able to handle the pressure.

  49. 49.

    john@mm

    @Andy K

    I’m a Wings fan and I’ve watched every minute of the game so far. The Wings didn’t even wake up until they were down 2-0. They were getting beat to every puck and weren’t winning any battles along the boards. Hell, they weren’t even working to get the puck along the boards. They looked nothing like the Wings I’ve been watching all year. We’ve been sitting here hollering at the tv the whole game. I’d be really pissed if I’d spent hundreds or thousands of dollars for a seat at this game. I saw where someone was asking $3000 for good seats for this game.

  50. 50.

    JenJen

    Yay, a fun topic, as I dread Period 3!

    The first new car I ever bought was a standard, and I bought it without having any clue how to drive one.

    I’ve had many cars since that old Dodge, and to this day I’d never have an automatic. I like to really feel like I’m really driving while driving. Helps make driving more of a pleasure than a chore, you know?

    So, yeah. Bought a stick-shift without knowing how to operate one, and never looked back. It was around the same time I adopted my first dog on my own, and ever since, can’t imagine life without the companionship of man’s best friend, no matter the higher maintenance level. Cats are easier to be sure, but I can’t imagine life without them, either.

    By the way, I’ve had the same car for 8 years now, and am years away from shopping again, thank goodness. But…they still make manual transmissions, right?

  53. 53.

    asiangrrlMN

    Buck sucks–and so does McCarver! Most of the network analysts do. Cats are teh awesome. I am allergic, so I don’t let them in the bedroom. I wear earplugs to bed, and I have a white noise machine . Perfect! Plus, I sleep like shit as it is. I am trying to get to bed by one am (which is why I have given up the late night shift here).

    Go Pens!

  54. 54.

    Krista

    The first new car I ever bought was a standard, and I bought it without having any clue how to drive one.

    My mom taught me how to drive, and her car was a standard. I was cursing her at the time, especially when we were practicing starting again from a stopped position on a hill. However, in retrospect, I’m damn glad that it worked out that way. If you learn on a standard, you never, ever forget how to drive one.

  55. 55.

    Krista

    Also NBC is to Hockey coverage as Fox is to baseball coverage. Need I say more? I have Center Ice and always prefer to listen to the Canadian announcers anyway.

    Yeah, we’re watching it on CBC HD — nothing better, my friends. Nothing better.

  57. 57.

    Bootlegger

    @Annie: It will happen if you let it, but I get the joke and actually I let Lewis and Clark order me around most of the time. But I draw the line at my sleep, then its me or them and I’m bigger and pay for the food.

  59. 59.

    Annie

    Bootlegger

    You are awesome…..I love the “pay for the food!” And, I love the names “Lewis and Clark.” thanks for the laugh….

  60. 60.

    Neddie Jingo

    They’re sitting on the lead, a time-proven method for letting the other team back in the game.

    Bollocks. The dynamic changes enormously when you’ve got a two-goal lead. Defense is way easier with a two-goal lead. Detroit scores one goal, watch the dynamic change enormously. Otherwise, Pens look very good.

  64. 64.

    Bootlegger

    @Neddie Jingo: Bollocks indeed. The 2-0 lead is one of the most dangerous in low-scoring sports. Too much confidence by the leaders and a single goal makes a completely different finish.
    Can the Pens hang on?

  68. 68.

    Bootlegger

    @Neddie Jingo: I didn’t believe the 2-0 lead was “dangerous” the first time I heard one of my Euro soccer friends claim it. After all, who wouldn’t want to be up by two goals. But since then I’ve seen numerous 2-0 leads disappear in minutes. Wish I had some stats on it though.

    Damn that was close!

  71. 71.

    Neddie Jingo

    The Pens’ advantage is that they only have to clear the puck. The Wings have to score goals. That’s the advantage. 16 seconds left.

    It ain’t footie.

  82. 82.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    I think John made enough noise to scare poor Lily, and he’s now busy apologizing to her.

  86. 86.

    Crza

    That has to have been the best Stanley Cup playoffs I’ve ever seen. I mean it’s always my favorite sporting event of the year, but this was wow just wow from start to finish. Even though I wanted the Wings to win, I’m somehow not very disappointed at all.

    Malkin just won the Hart as the playoffs MVP, and he damned sure deserved it. That guy is just ridiculous.

  88. 88.

    JenJen

    For my money, Fleury should’ve gotten the trophy over Malkin. (and no, it has nothing to do with political blogging biases.) Fleury was just thrilling to watch through the series.

    Detroit fans are being rather shitty. C’mon guys, this ain’t Philly.

  89. 89.

    Michael D.

    You all have NO idea what it is like for a Canadian boy like me to watch the final game and to see the captain hoisting the Stanley Cup.

    It’s what every young boy I ever knew as a kid dreamed of!

    LOVED watching this game!

  90. 90.

    Krista

    JenJen: I’m with you — Fleury saved the day in the last 5 seconds. When they showed the replay, there was not one, but TWO shots on goal.

    And Michael D., I was just thinking that Cole Harbour must be losing its collective mind tonight. :) I don’t have a particular team that I follow, but there was something awfully sweet about seeing a fellow Bluenoser holding up the Cup.

  91. 91.

    NutellaonToast

    Fluery is good but he still has a lot to work on. there is no way he was MVP unless I missed some spectacular performances.

    Still, those final two saves were gorgeous. When I saw the rebound shoot out to his right I almost died.

    FUCK YEAH PENS! TIME TO GET A NEW HAT!

  93. 93.

    Jose C

    Automatic really depends on the cat. Of the 3 1/2 in our household, one exhibits Tunch like behavior (automatic except he misses the box), one is schizo (probably needs Prozac), one is young (definitely a stick shift) and as big a PITA as a dog, and the half cat is a giant grouch at best.

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