This is just a first draft. Please suggest additional items in the comments.
Take a sip every time you hear the following words or phrases:
* “tough choices”
* “bipartisanship”
* “Mars”
* “Waterloo”
* “sacrifice”
* “will patients get to choose their own doctors”
* “class warfare”
* “centrist”
* “abortion”
* “during the campaign you promised”
* “Senator McCain”
* “post” (as in “post-racial”, “post-partisan” etc.)
Take a big swig every time you hear the following words or phrases:
* “cigarettes”
* “mom jeans”
* “pirates”
* “enchanted”
* “Gerald Walpin”
* “Dick Cheney”
Chug your entire glass every time you hear the following words or phrases:
* “dijon”
* “Al Carlin”
* “since the birth of Christ”
* “birth certificate”
* “Liz Cheney”
* “gold standard”
Finish the entire bottle if you hear the following words or phrases:
* “monkey kidneys”
* “dead baby juice”
* “slut surtax”
Ned R.
Chug your entire class
Kinda gross, depending on the context.
Zifnab
Some Balloon Juice readers may not survive the night. Fortunately, this won’t include any regulars, as we are all hardened alcoholics after eight years of Bush.
DougJ
Chug your entire class
Fixed it.
Ned R.
@DougJ: All good. And may the hardiest livers win.
General Winfield Stuck
I was going to query the “anal poisoning” cue. But nolo need now.
I would however, add “Aborted Placenta Soup” just to be completely irreverent.
If heard use a Lysol chaser.
Ellie
OK, I am not aware of all internet traditions and lazy. Please explain “monkey kidneys” and “slut surtax.” I think “dead baby juice”=stem cells, yes?
ironranger
Are you trying to kill us???
DougJ
I was going to query the “anal poisoning” cue. But nolo need now.
I wanted something from Rush and I thought “slut surtax” was better.
DougJ
Please explain “monkey kidneys” and “slut surtax.” I think “dead baby juice”=stem cells, yes?
“monkey kidneys” and “monkey kidneys” are from the Mike Castle townhall.
“slut surtax” is something Rush Limbaugh suggested on his show a couple days ago.
Laura W
“First Lady sleeveless/more popular than you.”
Also, I’m counting on Chipper again tonight for most maroonish question ever. Because he never lets me down, and any man who goes by “Chip” is just begging to be ridiculed and mocked. I hate to disappoint.
Chuck, Chip and Jake. My Three Maroons.
YellowJournalism
“slut surtax”
Do you know how much revenue that would bring in? Just Paris Hilton alone..
lotus
Y’know, the idea of getting old enough to go senile has appealed immeasurably more since I watched that Mike Castle tape. Wooie.
dmsilev
What about the Balloon Juice classic “skull-fuck a kitten”?
-dms
arguingwithsignposts
I still think you should include “plummeting approval ratings,” although that would probably also throw some alcohol poisoning on a few people.
ironranger
I don’t suppose Rush would include his partners, whatever sex or age they may be, or the mistresses of republican senators in the slut surtax category.
maya
@DougJ: Speaking of Rush……….??
Is he a separate category, like; tickle the back of your throat, puke and start all over?
SGEW
@DougJ: I really thought you made those last three up, and I laughed, because they were funny.
Now I find out they’re actually talking points, and I’m just sad. Very sad.
amorphous
Beers in the fridge? Check
Three hours of sleep in the past 35? Check
Feelin’ sleeeeeeepy already? Chezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
steve s
When is this motha?
cbear
I think you forgot “offing the old folks”.
flounder
I think you should chug whenever Obama is explaining what the opposition position is (right before he destroys it). For instance, when he says: “now there are some people who say we can’t afford this right now because [insert wingism here], however…” you would be chugging.
JGabriel
I like the list, though I’d move “class warfare” from the sip to the big swig category.
Also, every time someone uses the word “gun” or “guns”, people have to raise their hands above their heads with the index fingers and thumbs extended in the classic fake gun position, and wave them back and forth while making shooting sounds.
The last one to do this has to chug their drink.
On second thought, they should probably do that for “class warfare” too.
.
KG
slut surtax?
Wait, no one said anything about taxing sluts. Besides, don’t I pay that already when I have to buy lobster and booze?
arguingwithsignposts
But whatever you do, don’t include “Now look.” If that’s on the list, we’ll ALL be dead!
Snark Based Reality
@cbear:
Seriously. This list is a day out of date. News moves fast.
Ash Can
I think “throws like a girl” should qualify for a few belts.
Laura W
@Ash Can: Agreed. And if the maroonish questioner can draw the logical arc from “bowl like a girl” to “throw like a girl”, well…let’s just say I should be in there cleaning my toilet right now in giddy anticipation.
“Does Michelle wear the man jeans in the family?” would be rich too.
amorphous
How much do we drink if we hear “Nico”?
JGabriel
amorphous:
You don’t. Instead, you say, “It’s my life, and it’s my wife,” then plunge a shot of heroin into your arm. Then, after the vomiting, you sing “I’ll Be Your Mirror”.
.
bvac
I propose the following be added:
sips category:
“members of your own party”
“$24 Trillion” (must have dramatic emphasis)
swig category:
“40 pounds overweight” (or alternatively) “what message does it send —“
Laura W
@bvac:
I’m just gonna swig to this right now because it’s funny.
And I can.
(Stewart said “skullfucked” last night and no one mentioned it here today? Maybe I missed it.)
lotus
Reckon Ezra might be tonight’s blogger?
arguingwithsignposts
I think that’s a staple of any WH presser. another thing that could lead to huge medical problems.
Bertie Wooster
I fucking love you guys.
Cheers.
Linkmeister
“If you like the health plan you’ve got, you can keep it.”
bvac
@arguingwithsignposts:
Ideally it should apply to his surgeon general pick, but it can also be about his pitching ability or pants. I’ll take what I can get, though.
Just Some Fuckhead
Yeah, like this crowd needs a game to encourage drinking.
amorphous
@JGabriel: I had to http://www.thegoogle that. Waaaaaaaaaaaay before my time.
JGabriel
Laura W:
We’re jaded. Unless the skullfucking involves kittens or fawns, it’s hardly likely to even register anymore.
.
Xenos
‘slut surtax’ is brilliant. What was the context for Rush bringing it up? Certainly he must be thinking of his phi@greh expenses there.
Damn this moderation is tough… I can’t mispell it enough to get out.
JGabriel
@amorphous:
Well, yeah, it’s before my time too. I was about a year old when it came out. Kind of a classic, though. You should check it out sometime.
.
Mike in NC
“Mr. President, what message does it send to the terrorists because you haven’t sent Ironman to rescue the soldier who was captured by the Taliban?”
mantis
I think Harry and Louise belongs in there somewhere, but I’m not sure where.
I wonder if anyone will bring up Henry Louis Gates? That would be stupid, so I’m guessing it will happen.
Laura W
@JGabriel:
Oopsy Doodle!
That’ll teach me to bounce between BJ and Oprah’s message boards.
BTW, Obama’s Mom Jeans are her next Favorite Thing.
RevPhat
Should we add “individual responsibility” to the list?
And as a newbie, should my liver fail me before the hour is over…it was nice knowing you all.
arguingwithsignposts
@mantis:
Oooh, that’s a good one. I’m with you. that will come up.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Zifnab: I do not go to meetings. Just call me an old fashioned drunk.
bvac
We’re going to end up drinking after every syllable anyway, but I’m betting some journalist will push the “only 1 million people are uninsured” line, or however that goes.
me
I think Obama will have an answer to the birth certificate question designed to make every Birther collectively shit their pants with rage.
John Cole
We need to throw “deficit neutral” and “out years” on the list.
YellowJournalism
If this drinking game goes national, now would be a good time to buy stock in your favorite beer company.
amorphous
1 sip for “Waterloo”
1 big drink for “Napoleon”
Empty your cabinet for “Björn Ulvaeus”
Laura W
@YellowJournalism:
Beer sucks.
lotus
Björn who?
Tom
@Laura W: Don’t forget Ed “My job is to make news” Henry!
Bertie Wooster
I’ve got two fingers of Black Bush just in case of “birth certificate”. It’s a possibility, even though one hopes he won’t call on Fox.
“Appalachia” or “trail” and all bets are off. One can only take so much.
Bertie Wooster
@amorphous
Only a sip for “Waterloo”? Really?
geg6
I just wanna say that I truly love this place. Truly.
Demo Woman
Yesterday I got shot down when I suggested he walk out with ABBA’s “Waterloo” playing in the background. I do think he needs to lighten up and not be quite so stiff.
Obviously he is not going to walk out while “Dancing Queen” is playing and then thank Lindsay Graham for supporting Sotomayor but he would be on the news for the next several days.
What do you think Obama should do to lighten up and make news?
lotus
Obviously he is not going to walk out while “Dancing Queen” is playing and then thank Lindsay Graham for supporting Sotomayor
(mopping keyboard . . . again)
Trinity
I’m armed with chilled Dogfish Head 90s and ready to go!
You people are my kryptonite.
Also.
Laura W
@Tom:You’re right. Ed can play the role of Ernie.
It’s only fitting.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Three_Sons
Beeb
@Demo Woman 59 — Get a puppy. Oh wait…
JGabriel
@geg6:
Looks like someone started the drinking game early …
.
arguingwithsignposts
@amorphous:
Jim DeMint reminds me of this song.
me
What do you think Obama should do to lighten up and make news?
“Well, Chuck, that’s a good question. During the campaign, I learned that some people will believe any crazy thing.
On an unrelated topic, I’d like to give a shout out to my Kenyan brothers. Mooktoo ashunbi koobunti ghani. Click Click Click.”
Ash Can
@bvac:
And if the question is asked by someone with 3 chins who hasn’t seen his/her feet in years, slam the rest of your drink and switch to champagne.
Bertie Wooster
Only alluded to Waterloo. God-damn that was close.
1 shot.
inkadu
Damnit. Everyone’s too busy drinking to liveblog. Now I have to watch this damn thing myself. If it isn’t over. What time is it over there? I’ve got 10:12 pm.
inkadu
Or, you know, maybe everyone moved to another thread.
Ryan
“Let me be clear…”
Have to go with a sip on that one, otherwise you might not be able to walk home.
Mark
Can we have a sip for everytime the word “ah” is said? Is that too much?