Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

They don’t have outfits that big. nor codpieces that small.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Keep the Immigrants and deport the fascists!

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

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65Comments

  1. 1.

    r€nato

    I guess Rush Limbaugh got jealous of all the attention Pat Robertson was stealing from his misanthropic, bitter, racist audience so he just had to top him today.

    (no pun intended. not that. never. ugh.)

  2. 2.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Where’s da link? Nixon called her the smart blonde, or something like that. She could reign atop me any day of the week.

  4. 4.

    Svensker

    Cole, didn’t you say you were really really truly going Galt after your accident?

    Sheesh, can’t believe a word the guy says…

  7. 7.

    Cat Lady

    I don’t watch network news anymore, especially the evening news. 22 minutes per day of scripted news read by a talking head paid millions – I don’t understand why, or what difference there is between any of them, since Cronkite signed off.

    Get off my lawn!

  11. 11.

    CynDee

    John, if you decide to rest from blogging (?!) here are some great new books someone could bring you from the library:

    Dog On It and Thereby Hangs a Tail, by Spencer Quinn. Spencer has his own doggie, named Audrey.

    These are Chet and Bernie mysteries. Bernie is the conscientious and irascible head of his own detective agency. He has a social conscience and worries about important things. Chet is Bernie’s great doggie who is a trained K9. He is Bernie’s full partner.

    The narrative is entirely from Chet’s canine viewpoint. Fun, suspense, and action from cover to cover.

    Maybe Tunchie will turn pages for you. Yeh, right. I’m sure Lily will cuddle up to comfort you while you read.

  15. 15.

    Cat Lady

    @MikeJ:

    I love love love the Beeb on NPR in the morning – that accent kills me when Owen Cornish-Knot (or something as British) says in that sing song voice “that’s not actually true now, is it?”. That’s how you do it.

  17. 17.

    r€nato

    @freelancer:

    I’m thinking he’d be a lot more concerned if it was the Dominican Republic that got hit hard. One of his boy lovers might have been harmed.

    I mean, seriously – he couldn’t name a single charity that his millions of listeners COULD donate to?

    There’s one that’s headquartered here in Phoenix, Food for the Hungry. It’s actually run by fundie Christians, so Rush could be sure that it was free of influence by Barack Saddam Hussein ACORN al-Qaeda Osama.

    But no, he had to give his audience a rationalization to not give money to help black people. Because he knows what they want to hear.

    I didn’t think there was anybody more disgusting than Pat Robertson but it only took 24 hours for Rush to top him…

  20. 20.

    Maude

    @demkat620: That’s why we and other countries are sending troops. Remember Rummy and “stuff happens”.
    What would it take for Rush to be pulled off the air?

  21. 21.

    Mike Kay

    @r€nato:

    I mean, seriously – he couldn’t name a single charity that his millions of listeners COULD donate to?

    Why, he didnt’ donate to September 11th relief efforts.

  22. 22.

    Thoughtcrime

    If you’re looking for some reading while you’re laid up, I highly recommend: The Secret Life of Lobsters: How Fishermen and Scientists Are Unraveling the Mysteries of Our Favorite Crustacean.

    Sex, Seafood, and Science!

  27. 27.

    Midnight Marauder

    @robertdsc:

    Speaking of hot anchors, I miss Ashleigh Banfield.

    From The HuffPo, November 13, 2009 edition:

    Ashleigh Banfield will be joining ABC News next year, TVNewser reported Friday.
    __
    Banfield rose to prominence on MSNBC during the early 2000s, but was cast aside after speaking out against the coverage of the Iraq War. She has been an anchor on Court TV/truTV since 2005, but Friday is her last day with the network.
    __
    ABC News did not confirm the report, telling TVNewser simply, “We like Ashleigh Banfield and admire her work.”

    I think she missed you too, big guy.

  28. 28.

    J.

    I am really liking Diane Sawyer’s reign atop ABC News.

    @John Cole, Sounds like you’re watching a porn film.

  29. 29.

    You Don't Say

    I have not seen her do the evening news yet, but she would have had to have done a 180 for me to like her. No TV news person irritates me more.

  30. 30.

    Desert Rat

    John:

    A thorough reading of All the President’s Men and The Final Days should help to cure that, I think.

  31. 31.

    fraught

    Chuck Todd was idiotic on Chris Matthews today:

    “Will Obama go (to Haiti) in the future? We’ll see.”

    “Is there a race issue there (in Haiti for Obama)? I don’t know.”

    Thanks, Chuck.

  32. 32.

    paraodx

    John, I was concerned before you got hurt. What the fuck are you doing here for the next 24 hours?

    God damn it, get out. Take care of yourself, this is why single dudes die early, any woman with an atom of sense would never put up with this.

    Out. You are very tired and now hurt. What the fuck would 24 hours ever mean? [purses lips] Jesus.

  33. 33.

    Emma

    Cat Lady: the first time I visited the UK I was watching the morning news (raining buckets, no photography) and I actually heard the interviewer say that to the Home Secretary or someone equally high up. I nearly choked on my toast. I didn’t think there were real reporters left…

  34. 34.

    b-psycho

    @Mike Kay: That reminds me… I recall her saying in an interview awhile back that she loves collecting (and obviously wearing) what she described as “slut shoes”.

    Well, when you can still pull it off it’s fine by me.

  38. 38.

    burnspbesq

    If you doubt that 60-year-old women can be breathtakingly gorgeous, just look at any recent photo of Emmylou Harris.

  41. 41.

    Shell

    It’s not, take another Vicoden and go to sleep John

    Or…don’t know if you’re a “30 Rock” fan, but there’s brand new episodes back to back tonight at 9.

  43. 43.

    donovong

    ABC News? Sorry, man. I watch NBC Nightly News religously. If I were to change the channel, my old man would climb out of his grave and knock the shit out of me, just like he used to threaten to do when I would turn to Cronkite instead of Huntley/Brinkley. Old habits die hard. Old fears never die!

  44. 44.

    mcd410x

    You watch the evening news? No wonder you’re so ornery, Cole.

    Personally, my favorite founding father is Jesus. I read the story of Him piloting the Mayflower to a new land to my kids every night.

  47. 47.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:
    She started out on a free bag of dry food, but I’ve been feeding her wet food for the past two weeks. Plus, someone said that kittehs need more food than adults, so she’s been getting fed very well. She also has picked up on the sound of the top of the food can opening. She could be in the other room and, as soon as the top makes that sound, she’s by the kitchen counter watching.

  51. 51.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    She is yet an amateur, my older kittehs can hear a ring pull can top being pulled off a can (any can, doesn’t matter if it is cat food or not) from 500 yards and will immediately appear and line up by their food bowls. (they have all day access to dry food) This really sucks when I happen to open a can of Heinz Baked Beans for breakfast and they don’t get fed their “dinner” until 9pm.

  52. 52.

    Cat Lady

    @Emma:

    It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when you can remember clearly an instance of journalism being committed.

    Sigh.

  53. 53.

    WaterGirl

    @paraodx: I can’t speak for John, but I can say that distraction is good when you’re hurting. He typed less than 20 words to create this post and then he gets to be distracted all evening in the company of some pretty interesting folks. Seems pretty smart to me!

    Also, how the heck are you supposed to sleep when you’re hurt like that? There’s probably not a comfortable position. (John, do you have to wear the contraption when you sleep?) So if John wants to blog 24 hours a day while he’s hurt, or not at all, it’s okay by me.

  54. 54.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I happen to open a can of Heinz Baked Beans for breakfast

    Que?

    FWIW, the wet food has pop tops. I haven’t noticed her exhibiting the same interest when I open a can of campbell’s soup, for instance. Of course, she doesn’t have 500 yards to play around in (small apartment), so perhaps she has a chance to hear the distinction.

  55. 55.

    WaterGirl

    @arguingwithsignposts: Sorry to be nosy, but I must have missed news of your travel. Where are you headed and who is watching our Smudgie? (Feel free not to answer if the answers are top secret.)

  57. 57.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    It is a Brit thing, Heinz Baked Beans for breakfast, lunch, and tea (dinner). With breakfast they are generally served with a “full English” ie, bacon, sausage, sauteed mushrooms, canned (or grilled) tomatoes, fried bread and a couple of fried eggs. For lunch or tea (dinner) they are served on toast or with some other weird combination, (ie sausage, egg, chips and beans, SPAM AND BEANS!) I would hazard a guess that any Brit you ever spoke to would confess to growing up on a diet of Heinz baked beans. Alas, Heinz do not make them over here, (campbells cornered the market apparently with their nasty insipid pork and beans and trust me Heinz baked beans are nothing like any of the pork and beans, or baked beans you find in the US), I can however get them from World Market or Fresh Market for a small fortune but they are worth every penny. There is nothing like them.

  58. 58.

    Hob

    I have a permanent allergy to all ABC news creatures due to many thousands of hours of wasted youth working as a transcriber for them. (What’s worse than Baba Wawa tearjerker interviews and John Stoooooozl Specials? The outtakes thereof.) Sawyer was clearly smarter than the rest, but she pissed me off with an incredibly stupid & gratuitous interview with Charles Manson — basically, Q: “But don’t you think you are bad?”; A: “Graargh fuck kill ha ha”; Q: “Really?” — and I haven’t been able to take her seriously since. Although the scene in “Good Night and Good Luck” where Edw. R. Murrow does that bullshit interview of Liberace made me feel like maybe I was being unfair.

  64. 64.

    firebrand

    It figures, doesn’t it? That a Nixon flunkie like Diane Sawyer would end up becoming ABC’s host of the evening news. Same way all those Nixon flunkies found their way back into our government via the Bush administration.

    I weep for the future of our nation.

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