Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

T R E 4 5 O N

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

White supremacy is terrorism.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Open Thread: Year of the (Golden) Tiger

Open Thread: Year of the (Golden) Tiger

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According to Chinese astrology, we are starting the Year of the Tiger, about which my very old Book of Chinese Chance paperback says:

“Tiger years are notoriously turbulent. Political unrest, coup d’etats, and catastrophes often strike during these action-packed years.
__
Prudence is advised in all new undertakings… The Tiger, though noble and honorable, endows his year with uncertainty and danger. Tigers never know where they might place their next paw. In Tiger years it is incumbent upon the rest of us to face head-on collisions with our own enemies. When we least expect that calamity, it surges out of nowhere. Much strength is required of us during these testy times.”

2010 is a Metal year, so this is the year of the Golden Tiger or the White Tiger, depending on which source you believe, but the white tiger is considered a bit of a jinx for reasons I haven’t been able to track.
__
However, every new year is the chance for a new start, and in that spirit I share my favorite of this year’s Chinese New Year Songs, because it embodies the ancient universal traditions of every extended family celebration… namely, bribing the kids to sit down and shut up until their elders can get sufficiently lubricated to stand being around each other. And then hoping the ensuing Carb Coma will keep actual fistfights from breaking out. Kampai!

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  1. 1.

    TenguPhule

    but the white tiger is considered a bit of a jinx for reasons I haven’t been able to track.

    White is the color of death in major Asian cultures.

  2. 2.

    Yutsano

    Meh, I’m a Rat, which from what little I understand of Chinese astrology makes me the equivalent of Scorpio, which is also my birf sign. So uhh yeah I got it bad.

    BTW this may or may not mean anything, but kampai means cheers in Japanese as well. Could just be a borrowed word though. Japanese is full of those.

    Oh and did BJ just break for anyone else there for a bit?

  5. 5.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Hi hon. Did you see my comment one thread down? Around the eighties or so. I think it might make you squee. It sure put me in a decent mood. :)

    @asiangrrlMN: Oh no, even bettah. I won’t know that until Monday most likely. I needed it tonight too.

  7. 7.

    aliasofwestgate

    I’m a fire snake. Not supposed to be a good year for me (as if the last 2 have been any better). Seems to be an odd thing as i’m a Virgo in the western zodiac. Been a rather fun ride so far through life though.

  8. 8.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: YAYAYAYAYAY! I’m so happy for you, hon. Except, I saw what you said about Ohno, and I haven’t seen the finals yet (DVR). Still, I’m glad you got time with your honey.

    I’m browsing the Tunchie store I am like a kid in a candy store.

  9. 9.

    Yutsano

    Oh yeah, forgot I’m a Water Rat. Y’all have been warned.

    @asiangrrlMN: I won’t spoil it for you but yeah it was fucking cheap.

    He’s alive (which is good) and feisty as normal. He’s still where he was, so I have at least some idea how much longer he’ll be in the US. Oh and he developed a crush on the Dutch skater who won gold today. He’s so cute sometimes.

  11. 11.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: No the finals. Trust me I was swearing at the TV. It would have been in Korean if I had known any good Korean swear words. The ending was rather satisfying I will give you that much.

  20. 20.

    Dr. Morpheus

    I am a “wood dragon” if the googled web site that I found is correct. It claims that it’s the day you were born that determines you’re Chinese animal, not the year.

    If it’s the year then I’m a water rabbit. Which kinda sounds disgusting…

  21. 21.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: Me, I’m generous and want to help others. I have an open-mind and don’t like intolerant people. I am a loyal and trusty friend for life. I am sizzling and passionate. Yeah, sounds about right.

    I like the team speed skating. Free-for-all!

    @Dr. Morpheus: It’s the day, not the year because Chinese Astrology goes by the lunar calendar. If you are a dragon, you are lucky, indeed.

  22. 22.

    freelancer

    @Yutsano:

    Congrats on the promotion, bud. Just hope the salary bump is commensurate with the increase in responsibility.

    In any case, for this and other abstract things, consider me a happy human being for the evening.

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I like the team speed skating. Free-for-all!

    No kidding, I feel bad for the directors in charge of covering the relays. It looked so incoherent, but it was a finely tuned dance of athleticism.

  24. 24.

    freelancer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Watching the 5k race last night, I came to the conclusion that speed skating is hypnotic and beautiful. Seeing the short track relay from tonight, I saw that it could also be hyper-kinetic, and a triumph of competitive organization and teamwork.

    ETA

    He’s happy ‘coz he got some quality Dawg time.

    Well then, kudos to him. We all need our respite. Go Yuts and go dawg.

  25. 25.

    Yutsano

    @freelancer: Well no counting chickens afore they hatch. I won’t know until Monday if I got it for sure. If not I’ve already decided I’m gonna go job hopping. That will involve a move for sure as I plan on moving closer to the Space Needle than I am now. Or very close to the Canadian border should a position open up up there.

  28. 28.

    Michael af W

    Kampai is indeed Japanese. The Chinese equivalent is “ganbei”. Means “dry glass”. Which in turn means the same as “bottoms up”.

    After 6+ years in China, believe me, this is one word that all foreigners here learn… Jeebus, the amount of baijiu (“white liquor”) that I have downed with customers, distributors, government officials, etc…

    Xinnian kuaile! Gongxi facai!

  29. 29.

    rootless_e

    @Michael af W: I must have killed hundreds of potted plants while doing business in Japan and China. After 3 rounds, other participants are either too drunk to notice that my glass is being emptied into the planter or are cheating too and can stuff it.

    that’s my policy.

  30. 30.

    Nicole

    @asiangrrlMN: You and me both, pretty lady! That’s cool. I’m glad to hear someone thinks pigs are awesome, as I was kind of bummed to find out my sign, as all my other family members seem to be cooler animals. Though I read somewhere that the pig is a symbol for happiness, I suspect that has less to do with the pig’s characteristics than it does the pig’s deliciousness.

  32. 32.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Nicole
    @asiangrrlMN

    Oh, I’m very fond of pigs, both zodiacal and barnyard (and breakfast, I have to admit).

    Happy New Year! Happy Tigers!

    / Water Horse

  34. 34.

    Linda Featheringill

    I seem to be a Wood Monkey:

    “The Wood Monkey’s exceptional communication skills enable them to interact well with others. They’re hard workers who have a keen understanding of the way things operate.”

    So listen to Linda. She knows. She knows.

    But seriously folks . . . . .

    Happy New Year. And Happy Valentine’s Day. Do yourself a favor and count all the people [furry people count too] who secretely smile when they think of you.

  35. 35.

    Kirk Spencer

    @Nicole: Well, there’s always the chance you’re NOT a pig (grin).

    My wife and I have the same birthday, four years apart. I’m a Rat. If you’re a westerner who hasn’t noticed the fall of the Chinese calendar, she’s a Dragon. If, however, you DO notice these things, you discover she’s a Rabbit. (Yang Metal and Yin Water for the two of us, respectively.)

  37. 37.

    bemused

    The only tv I planned to watch this am was CBS Sunday Morning…feature on Jeff Bridges. Anything with Harold Ford or David Brooks was not on my watch list until I just read that Rachel Maddow is on that MTP lineup. I wonder what the IQ spread is between Rachel & Harold, lol. Zakaria GPS guest is Paul Volcker.

  44. 44.

    Citizen_X

    As someone who was literally running around yesterday morning to find red envelopes for Hung Pao (“Lucky Money”), I appreciated that video. (Fortunately, around Valentine’s Day is a good time to find them.) Was that actually an extended restaurant commercial?

    @John Quixote: Kick ass. Tiger, schmiger: how can a Metal Year possibly be bad?

  45. 45.

    Kirk Spencer

    @mr. whipple: Dear goo. We discovered not so long ago that you and I have the same month/daye of birth. Now, unless you’re over a century old, I discover we also share the same year?

    Just remember some cheeses are oilier than others. Squeak.

  46. 46.

    Platonicspoof

    Robert Gibbs will be twittering (tweeting?).
    Just going to C & P the whole thing, on my way out.

    WASHINGTON, D.C. (BNO NEWS) — White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs joined the social networking website Twitter on Saturday, the White House confirmed.
    Gibbs gained more than 5,500 followers – people who follow his messages – in just four hours after he posted his first ‘tweet’ – or Twitter message. “Learning about “the twitter” – easing into this with first tweet – any tips?,” Gibbs wrote on Twitter account “PressSec.”
    The White House said Gibbs’ account is subject to the Presidential Records Act and said his messages – but also replies aimed at Gibbs – may be archived.

  49. 49.

    Chris Johnson

    Hehe, wasted a whole morning on this stuff.
    I’m apparently a Fire Horse born in the year of Earth Monkey…
    and my decade from 10-19 was ridiculously unlucky (It was)…
    and I should paint my house interiors black or white for decoration for balance (already did before reading that, black walls w. white trim, love it)…
    and my life from 50-70 years old will be epically lucky and still okay until 80 and then will kinda suck until 90 when it recovers somewhat.
    Clearly I should go out on a high note, balling Nigerian and Swedish hookers with my horse cock while on fire at the age of 69. Sounds like a plan! :D

  53. 53.

    Linda Featheringill

    To Kirk Spencer:

    I’ll tell you a secret. The Mystery [the width and depth of the Unknowable] only increases with time. The constant sense of amazement and downright confusion is one of the good things about aging.

  54. 54.

    4jkb4ia

    Not chopped liver, folks! This cliche was wrong for this thread in at least two geographical senses. Perhaps it could be changed to “Not toasted ravioli”.

    I have nachas that Pitt actually won but John doesn’t have to hear about it because it’s too many hours ago.

  55. 55.

    4jkb4ia

    My dad reports that Cody Ellis has recently begun playing because there were issues with his transcript from the Australian sports school.

  56. 56.

    OriGuy

    I’m a fire monkey. The firecrackers have been going off in my complex since early this morning, and probably last night. I didn’t get home until 5. At 8:00, my next-door neighbors must have set off a case of them. I’m a very tired fire monkey.

  57. 57.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Nicole: Woo-hoo! Latter 1971 represents! Pigs are kind and warm-hearted and generous and all that good stuff. It really is the best sign under which to be born.

    /extremely biased opinion.

  58. 58.

    Nicole

    @asiangrrlMN: I think it’s the kind-heartedness that causes us to leave so many broken hearts in our pleasant, generous wake… ;)

    (Heh. I can say that because I was once dumped on Valentine’s Day so I’ve been on both sides.)

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