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Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

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If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

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Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

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FFS people, this was a good thing. take the win.

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We still have time to mess this up!

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

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Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

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The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

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Quick Links

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Couple of quick links for your after dinner reading:

1. Commenter Cerberus informs us that today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. He has some additional thoughts here.

2. My good friends, Bill and Jill (we call them the Ill’s for short), have lost their beloved cat Bandit, who has been missing for several days. Send out good vibes/pleasant thoughts, if you would.

3. Several of you have sent me this link about Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts, and I finally got around to reading it, and it is every bit as funny as you all said it was. She really captures the essence of her dogs.

4. It appears that the civil war between America’s favorite grifter, Snowflake Snooki, and the rest of the GOP is really heating up.

5. Today in TSA news, we learn that TSA agents hate doing the new patdowns as much a we hate getting. Additionally, a flight attendant was forced to remove her prosthetic breast to get through a security gropepoint. Which makes me wonder- why the hell do we even make pilots go through security screening in the first place? If they want to bring a plane down, they don’t need nail clippers, a lighter, four ounces of hand lotion, or the rest of the stupid shit the TSA morons confiscate from the rest of us. All they need to do to bring a plane down is to… point it down.

6. While most of you are getting ready for Thanksgiving, no doubt Ezra Klein and Matthew Yglesias are gearing up for their annual war on Turkey. And no, I am not kidding.

7. Is it just me, or are red pistachios nowhere to be found any more? Did we finally get over the need to dye them?

And finally, Evelyn sends along this:

I have so very little artistic talent that it boggles my mind she was able to put that together in just over two hours.

Reader Interactions

122Comments

  2. 2.

    Cerberus

    Re: #5, it’s a good thing we fight against that possibility by not at all underpaying flight crews and ritually humiliating them with…

    Hmm, maybe flying anytime soon is a bad idea.

    And thanks for the link regarding Trans Day of Remembrance. It’s important to have supportive allies lending support.

    One minor correction, I am a she not he.

    But thanks for everything.

  3. 3.

    JGabriel

    In that drawing, is the negative space in the middle supposed to be a chopped off peni5 head?

    (I always make the extra effort to raise the intellectual discourse.)

    .

  4. 4.

    General Stuck

    Very cool drawing.

    Balloon Juice has the best artists. No one in the world and especially no namby pamby blogosphere can touch us. We are superior in every way, the greatest that has ever been, and twice as militant centrist.

    The prosthetic breast inspection, further convinces me that I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out than go to an airport.

  9. 9.

    Napoleon

    Cole says: “Which makes me wonder- why the hell do we even make pilots go through security screening in the first place? If they want to bring a plane down, they don’t need nail clippers, a lighter, four ounces of hand lotion, or the rest of the stupid shit the TSA morons confiscate from the rest of us.”

    It is even better then that. Fallows has a post up about how every cockpit has an axe in it so that the pilot can brake the window out if need be.

  10. 10.

    Polly

    Who is Evelyn? Brilliant drawing, Evelyn reveals Tunch’s control thru one militant paw on each dog.

  11. 11.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    Aren’t the red pistachios the ones from Iran? People got scared that the nuts were going to rise up and turn their house into a mosk.

  13. 13.

    Tyro

    While most of you are getting ready for Thanksgiving, no doubt Ezra Klein and Matthew Yglesias are gearing up for their annual war on Turkey.

    I bow to know one in my bona fides as a member of the unpatriotic, anti-American out-of-touch coastal elite left, but MattY and Ezra have gone too far!. You can have my turkey when you pry it out of my cold dead hands! Do you hear me????!?!?

  20. 20.

    Southern Beale

    Two interesting items over at ThinkProgress. The first one has Rep. King saying 1st item on House’s agenda next year will be changing the 14th Amendment to remove birthright citizenship. The House would do this by passing a law, not a Constitutional Amendment, he says.

    The second item is Mike Huckabee telling lawmakers to ignore any court decisions they disagree with.

    I find this very interesting. King and Huckabee are basically saying that Congress will interpret the Constitution, not the courts. Think about that one for a minute. Talk abouti the mother of all power grabs. The Republicans take over the House and suddenly they’ve decided they are more important than the Executive and Judicial branches.

    Seriously cannot wait for these assholes to be sent their walking papers in 2012.

  21. 21.

    matt

    I said this a few days ago, but the young TSA guy I saw in SLC giving the enhanced pat down to a crippled old guy looked extremely embarrassed.

  23. 23.

    paradox

    The California pistachio crop wiped out the imports from Iran and Turkey. Afghanistan and Iraq used to be importers too, way way back in the day.

    They dried the nuts on the ground, leaving dark marks, which were cheaply dyed away. Californians dry their nuts with natural gas, no dye necessary.

    There very well may be red pistachios still in the world, they’re just not imported here anymore.

  25. 25.

    El Cruzado

    I, for one, welcome our new Tunch overlord and his two doggie lieutenants.

    Also, #5, from your mouth to God’s ears.

  26. 26.

    General Stuck

    Maybe they should just ask passengers before boarding if they have any guns or knives. And if they don’t, then issue them as weapons of choice. That way, no one will dare go use the john to light their undie bomb.

  28. 28.

    NineJean

    Lovely. Need to adopt it for my own.

    Difference is, my household manager (Mme. Hairball) is female, her minions are, well, not just male, but male Dachshunds ( as, like, small critter killers…) Doesn’t matter though because me & the hairball raised them right. As in, whatever happens, she wins.

    Always.

    So, how long will it be until this is on a cup that I can buy from the store?

  29. 29.

    paradox

    Uh-oh, the Steelers play my beloved Raiders tomorrow.

    Look out, John. First the Raiders gained 500 yards in a game. Then they did it again.

    They had to lose to KC on a terrible, terrible ripoff call by our asshole officials in this awful league. But then…an individual, WR Ford, took the game back with two spectacular catches, one as the game ended, the other in OT. After returning the 2nd half kick for a touchdown.

    We’re all watching, still, but for three weeks Oakland has been all about change, they have a lot of very potent offense weapons, along with a run D that shut down and flabbergasted KC.

  30. 30.

    PaminBB

    Great image by Evelyn.

    John, I take it Rosie has not found a new home yet?

    And no, sorry, I’m not volunteering. We have two cats who can occupy themselves while we are gone all day long. We like doggies, but adopting one would not be so practical at this time.

  31. 31.

    KDP

    @evelyn: Great illustration. Love the portrayal of overlord Tunch and his minions, Lily and Rosie
    I’d like to add another link, which gives me hope for the future:

    More of this, please!

    It’s encouraging to see local communities banding together in opposition to the actions of those promoting heat and intolerance.

  32. 32.

    eemom

    Yay! He said “couple OF quick links”! Yaaaaaaaay!!!

    To an English major, this is roughly the equivalent of 153 transformations of John Cole from a republican to a Democrat.

  33. 33.

    funluvn

    The drawing is absolutely great! Lily and Rosie seem to understand their place in the militantly superior pecking order at the Cole residence. But does John know his place yet?

    BTW, Paradox? When I lived in California, I dried my nuts with a towel. Natural gas was not in play.

  35. 35.

    J

    Thanks for that link about the dogs at hyberboleandahalf. I’m a cat person and have never cared for dogs, but those illustrations and that writing was hilarious.

  36. 36.

    caune

    Any of you who haven’t been to read Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts (Johns #3)…well go now…and if you have time go back to her later works, especially the one about her “simple dog” It will make you smile.
    Hyberbole and a half is one of the best illustrated blogs ever!

  37. 37.

    General Stuck

    @funluvn:

    I dried my nuts with a towel.

    That’s how we did it in my holler of Appalachia. The boys swung free and easy after that.

  44. 44.

    Libby

    Ha! Delurking twice in one day to say Evelyn, that is just awesome. Clearly you’re a brilliant artist and a donor, not a donee for those humor implants.

  45. 45.

    lamh32

    All right,
    Got me a chocolate Frosty from Wendy’s and I’m about to watch “Romancing the Stone”…ah just a lazy, simple Saturday evening. I’m going to go all old school 80’s movies for my last two movies tonight! A double feature: Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile! I know most people will mention other films when/if Michael Douglas’ cancer battle takes a turn for the worst, but these 2 films took a big place in my young heart back in the day, and have never left! They feed my trashy romance loving soul…lol!

    Romancing the Stone

    Best thing about it, a young Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and a middle aged Holland Taylor before Legally Blonde and Two and A Half Men.

  46. 46.

    Jennifer

    @BerkeleyMom: Obviously, the dogs have the blank stares because they are the mindless robotic minions of the evil overlord Tunch.

    Speaking of the whole “militantly superior in their own minds” bit, I disagree. I think it’s an established fact that I’m militantly superior. Fortunately, I’m also humble, so that “in (my) own mind” doesn’t enter into it.

  48. 48.

    Libby

    Adding, when I was a little kid, I loved red pistachios. If you got the shells wet, it functioned very well as pretend lipstick. Took a long time to get the red off your fingers though…

  49. 49.

    General Stuck

    @lamh32:

    Just received a re mastered version of Dr. Zhivago, my fav movie of all time. The atmospherics have not been matched in my view. Even the smaltzy Casablanca.

  50. 50.

    lamh32

    @General Stuck:

    I hate to admit this, but I’ve never actually seen Dr Zhivago! I know, I know, I’m probably missing out. I’ve seen Casablanca, but I not much of a fan, even though I know people love it.

    BTW, watching Romancing the Stone I’ve got to tell ya if any of my sisters got themselves mixed up with some Colombian drug lords or treasure hunters, then too bad for them. I ain’t traipsing all over some Colombian jungle so they don’t get eaten by crocs. Feed ’em to the crocs I say!

  51. 51.

    Jennifer

    Re: the pistachios – Xecky’s right; the red ones were from Iran and we pretty much stopped doing business with them 30 years ago.

    But you still can get Turkish pistachios – not dyed red, and a lot tastier than the California ones (smaller, but tastier) – I’ve ordered them from Zenobia several times. Yummy.

  52. 52.

    General Stuck

    @lamh32:

    You can order it from NF. Dr Zhivago was the very first instant NF I watched back in about 2002, then it disappeared for remastering, until just recently. Has more action than Casablanca, if you like that sort of thing. Still an epic love story, also too.

  53. 53.

    Mike in NC

    California pistachio crop wiped out the imports from Iran and Turkey.

    I picked up a couple of cans of pistachios in Bahrain during a deployment many years ago. The label read: “Product of the Islamic Republic of Iran”. That seemed kind of cool and subversive, like when everybody went ashore in Spain and bought Cuban cigars. Cannot recall if the nuts were red or natural, though.

  55. 55.

    lamh32

    So I see from the link that some blogger is telling Mama Bush to shut up!

    Has the “barracuda” chimed in yet?

  57. 57.

    DFS

    “And she’s very happy in Alaska, and I hope she’ll stay there.”

    Heh. An admirably patrician way of saying “fuck off.”

  58. 58.

    quaint irene

    How come Tunch has irises in her eyes and the dogs just have these blank stares?? Hilarious.

    They’ve got Little Orphan Annie eyes.

  59. 59.

    eemom

    @lamh32:

    I’ve seen Casablanca, but I not much of a fan, even though I know people love it.

    ah, thank you. I never thought it was all that either, but it’s one of those things one just does not dare say in polite company.

  60. 60.

    eemom

    @lamh32:

    she’s trying to think of a folksy, mama grizzly way to call the Bargoyle a snotty old bitch. Give her time.

    She can’t pretend to not know who she is, like she did to Maureen Dowd. That was the awesomest — a little face-off between two of the most insufferable women in modern history.

  61. 61.

    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist

    I’m almost never a contrarian at this site (in as much as there’s any prevailing opinion here), but am I the only one who just can’t get concerned or outraged about being scanned or patted down?

  62. 62.

    Yutsano

    @eemom: It’ll have something to do with Bible Spice having done more than Babs, but trust me if Palin wants to go down that road with her she’ll lose. Barbara Bush only looks like the Quaker Oatmeal guy, inside she’s a tough mean-spirited old broad who has millions more connections than Saint Sarah. And her hubby was a spy. Also.

  66. 66.

    eemom

    @Yutsano:

    oh, I agree — the duchess of Moosilla is waaaaay out of her league messing with the Bargoyle.

    Maybe Nancy Reagan will chime in too. This could be some serious popcorn……

  67. 67.

    cjw79

    Anyone see 127 Hours? Fantastic movie.

    PS, Hi, I’m new. I’ve been reading forever but never jumped in the comments. I might even say other things later too!

  71. 71.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @quaint irene: To quote the late, great Walt Kelly, genius behind the Pogo comic strip, it’s “Lulu Arfin’ Nonny with her eyes blonked out”.

  72. 72.

    Amanda in the South Bay

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Um…the gender the trans person identifies as? Transgender !=third gender, gender neutral, or no gender. Well, some trans people do, but lots of us also id ourselves as men or women, straight up.

  75. 75.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yutsano:

    Did you ever see Al Franken’s story about meeting her on a plane? I think it’s in Lies and The Lying Liars Who Tell Them.

    “I’m done with you.”

  77. 77.

    wmd

    The TSA agent push back against groping was very predictable.

    Raiders have been playing football the past few games. I think Al Davis has secretly died and John Madden is the team’s new owner. That would explain them showing up to play football again.

  79. 79.

    Yutsano

    @Mnemosyne: I’m trying to imagine her lowering herself enough to share another plane with, well, anyone. She seems like the type the day after they moved out of the White House to demand George buy her a private jet.

  80. 80.

    Hal

    @Mnemosyne

    Thanks for reminding me of that. Franken’s story was hilarious. I always picture Barbs saying “I’m done with you” with a Marie Antoinette style accent.

    My only fear now is Palin is going to be squashed before she can even take off. I want Palin to at least make it to the primaries.

    Oh, and ten bucks says Barbs is a Jennifer Grey fan.

  82. 82.

    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist

    @JPL: Yeah, I’ve been through the new scanner, and I’ve been frisked by the TSA on more than one occasion. I’m annoyed by a lot of things related to the dozen or so trips I do every year, but TSA procedures are low on the list compared to, say, flight cancellations at Chicago O’Hare due to weather.

  83. 83.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist: When the police state can listen to yer phone calls, strip search your teenage daughter at school, break in yer house and kill your dogs, label you a terrorist to lock you up indefinitely and taser you to death for failing to obey a command quickly enough, I think a little secksytime at the airport is the least of our worries.

  86. 86.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    Would you rather I listened to the Thompson Twins? If it weren’t for New Order and Scritti Politti, 80s dance music would be a total wasteland.

  87. 87.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: Knowing what my preference in 80’s music was/is, that’s a rather loaded question. But if those were my two choices, I’d go the Thompson Twins route. And a long shower afterwards.

  89. 89.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    Man cannot live by Richard Thompson, John Hiatt, X, and Los Lobos alone (my 80s staples). Even us old farts need to shake our asses once in a while, to make sure they still work.

  92. 92.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: Apparently that can be rather easily examined on your next domestic flight in the US. Yes I know I’m not behaving myself. My week kinda sucked so I don’t feel like being all that good. And I’m not totally happy with tax lawyers right now either.

  94. 94.

    Dewey

    Glen Greenwald has given you props for the pet rescue series here. Thought you might like to know, and keep up the good work!

  96. 96.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    And I’m not totally happy with tax lawyers right now either.

    Occupational hazard. Not our job to make your life easier. Don’t take it personally, because in the overwhelming majority of cases it’s not. And if it gets completely out of hand, refer the shithead to OPR.

  98. 98.

    MikeJ

    @burnspbesq: I used to commute into Houston. Passing that statue would have been the low point of my week had it not been for the fact that I had to be in Houston the rest of the week.

  99. 99.

    Bill H.

    Um, they make the flight crews go through the search process because the people in the flight crew uniforms, id’s or not, might not be real flight crews. They might be imposters.

  100. 100.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: I realize it’s not totally her fault, it’s her clients, who just practiced ostrich head syndrome and pretended it would all go away. But it’s two hours of my work day fixing your clients’ fuck-ups, and you get paid a helluva lot more for making me do the legwork. Sigh. I so wanted to turn them down after I did the number crunching, but they just barely qualified. I’m not bitter, it’s just a shit ton of work to get everything settled. I did tell you I’m in ACS right?

  101. 101.

    General Stuck

    @Dewey:

    Good for him. And I cannot wait for his new book to come out on the evil term of Barrack Obama. I bet it does better than Malkin’s, or any of the wingnut manifestos of Obama hate.

    Few things are less meaningful in our current political culture than the words and commitments that come out of Barack Obama’s mouth. In writing my book, I re-visited the gory details of how Obama

    You go Greenwaldo.

  103. 103.

    burnspbesq

    @Yutsano:

    I did tell you I’m in ACS right?

    You didn’t, but it wasn’t hard to figure out based on the way you described what you were doing.

    I so wanted to turn them down after I did the number crunching, but they just barely qualified.

    So you made somebody’s life better by doing your job the right way. Not much wrong with that.

    One thing you’ll learn as you spend more time in that job – and this will be especially true once you start doing 100 percent penalty cases – is that most people who get behind aren’t evil, they just got overwhelmed. When you can be a little compassionate within the boundaries that are laid out for you, you should feel good about that.

  104. 104.

    burnspbesq

    @General Stuck:

    I absolutely agree that Obama has been a disappointment on civil liberties so far. But a disappointment is less bad than a disaster, which is what McCain would have been.

  105. 105.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: I did do one thing for them that will make their lives easier: I submitted the husband for a WHC referral. That should keep them from becoming a frequent flyer. And yeah I’ve gotten cases where I can tell they just feel like there’s no hope, that’s usually when I tell them they took the right first step in calling. I’m not a total bitch ALL the time. :)

    BTW did a 100% TFRP case the other day. Resolution was out of my department however.

  106. 106.

    burnspbesq

    Oregon State is whipping USC right now. Given the two teams’ nicknames, I’m sure there’s no shortage of potential double entendres, but I’m not going there.

    It got really bad when Southern California played South Carolina in basketball a few years ago. Southern Cal’s defense down the stretch was the difference in the game, which led someone to suggest that the headline in the LA Times the next day should have been “Trojans Contain Cocks.”

  107. 107.

    Yutsano

    @burnspbesq: The potential for S.L.U.T. moments there is rather phenomenal. Hopefully one slips past an editor somewhere in there and comedic gold ensues.

    (If someone needs me to explain the S.L.U.T. metaphor I can, but not right now, kitteh is laying on my arm and doesn’t want me moving too much.)

  108. 108.

    General Stuck

    @burnspbesq:

    A disappointment in some areas, usually mitigated by other government resistance. But some glaring differences of ceasing some of the worst lawless violations of the Bush administration. So, I agree, some disappointment, but not a disaster, and other items in the works to change, that take some time. And certainly not as bad or worse than Bush. In most areas.

  109. 109.

    celticdragonchick

    @eemom:

    ah, thank you. I never thought it was all that either, but it’s one of those things one just does not dare say in polite company.

    Heresy.

    To the outer darkness with you.

  110. 110.

    celticdragonchick

    To my trans brothers and sisters:

    Remember, and make next year better and safer then the last.

    Nobody forgotten.

  111. 111.

    fraught

    Two things I think should happen:
    1.) After last night’s formidable and heroic display of sanity and clarity in flawless prose during the E.D.Kain kurffufle, Cerberus deserves to be on the BJ front page now and then.
    2.) A thread devoted to the horror that is Barbara Bush every once in a while to just clear the snot out of everyone’s passages. It builds up you know.
    “I’m done with you.” (throws bottle containing fetus in garbage.)

  112. 112.

    4jkb4ia

    Gazzetta dello Sport does a nice job reporting on the women’s World Cup play-in game

    (Wow, I miss everything, don’t I? I interpreted ED’s presence as one of many statements by John that this is his blog and he does not want it to be taken over by firebagger punching. It is fine with me if ED stays here.)

    (Last night I tried the garlic- and paprika- rubbed roast chicken for the first time, with mashed sweet potatoes and braised carrots with mint and cider vinegar, and it came out extremely good.)

  115. 115.

    General Stuck

    @4jkb4ia:

    According to Dewey’s link, Greenwald says he is 80 percent done with a new book, unless I am reading wrong. The quote I made about Obama was taken from that link.

    @Dewey:

  118. 118.

    FlipYrWhig

    @General Stuck: Greenwald has a new book about how disappointed he is in Obama? I’m looking forward to the index:

    Leader, Dear, epithet for Obama. 2, 3, 4-11, 15, 17, 19-67, 71, 75-267 _passim_.

  119. 119.

    Alex

    This war on Turkeys is obviously another one of Soros’s plots to bring one world communist government.

    Ezra Klein is, well, Jewish, and Matt Ysgleisias is a communist (in both cases those last names are dead giveaways) and I’m pretty sure I saw Matt and Ezra (come to think of it, that’s a commie name too) speaking Esperantu at a party once.

  120. 120.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Tyro: I made Bittman’s braised turkey parts 2 years ago (small oven, big crowd!) and it was spectacular. This year i’m opting for a whole turkey (new oven, smaller crowd!) but i’m doing it with a garlic/chili/lemongrass/fish sauce rub and filling.

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