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You are here: Home / Et tu, NASCAR?

Et tu, NASCAR?

by DougJ|  December 13, 201012:15 pm| 170 Comments

This post is in: We Are All Mayans Now

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Years ago, Tim F asked the poignant question “has the War on Christmas become an unwinnable quagmire”? Fortunately, the American Family Association has a plan for victory, a list of the companies that are objectively against Christmas:

Banana Republic (NEW!)
Barnes & Noble
CVS Pharmacy
Foot Locker
Gap Stores (NEW!)
Hancock Fabrics
NASCAR
L.L. Bean (NEW!)
Office Depot
Radio Shack
Staples
SUPERVALU
Victoria’s Secret

I’m never clear on what’s behind the anti-Christmas movement. I’ve always assumed that it was Jewish control of the retail industry, but it could just as easily be Muslim appeasers in the highest ranks of corporate America.

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Reader Interactions

170Comments

  1. 1.

    Chris Grrr

    December 13, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    This kind of persecution calls for an updated edition of Foxe’s Book of Martyrs.

  2. 2.

    CJ

    December 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I love the NEW! tag. As if you’re supposed to be excited to not shop somewhere.

  3. 3.

    Liz

    December 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    Well thank the gods I ordered most of my stuff from Amazon!

  4. 4.

    Dave

    December 13, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    Who knew NASCAR was full of hippie Muslims?

  5. 5.

    DougJ

    December 13, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    @Dave:

    Could be Joos, though. Jimmie Johnson…you know that the “ie” instead of a “y” means.

  6. 6.

    Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)

    December 13, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    GAP – that’s interesting.

    GAP is run by one the GOP’s biggest family donors (Donald Fisher’s clan)

  7. 7.

    steviez314

    December 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    They’ll have to pry the Victoria’s Secret catalog out of my cold, dead hands.

  8. 8.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    OT: A federal judge in VA just ruled the individual mandate in the ACA unconstitutional.

  9. 9.

    The Moar You Know

    December 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    I shop at more than 50% of the stores on that list as a matter of course.

    Feeling pretty good about that at the moment. Gotta see if I can up my percentage.

  10. 10.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Well, since I was going shopping at Victoria’s Secret anyway….
    Might as well add Hancock fabrics to the shopping list.
    Wait, NASCAR?

  11. 11.

    Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)

    December 13, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Oh shit – Staples!

    hahahahhahahahahhahhhhhahahah

    That’s Romney’s company (via Bain Capital)

    Sick’m Sarah, sick’m!!

  12. 12.

    Pavlov's Dog

    December 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    NASCAR has been turning to the left for a long time.

  13. 13.

    Third Eye Open

    December 13, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Oh Christ on a Cracker, again! I just had this argument with one of our more lucid nutballs in our “student newspaper”. There is no winning, only hair pulling. And not even the GOOD hair pulling like one would see at Roller Derby, or an Alabama wedding.

  14. 14.

    Carnacki

    December 13, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Bah, humbug.

    Like other wars, the war on poverty, the war on crime, the war on drugs, the global war against terrorism, Afghanistan, Iraq, I predict the war on Christmas will result in a quagmire with no winners.

    The only war in decades with a positive outcome was when the 4 Horsemen broke Dusty Rhodes ankle, but even that victory was short-lived.

  15. 15.

    Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)

    December 13, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Kinda shocking to find out philandering, amphetamine popping, beer guzzling NASCAR is against Baby Jesus

  16. 16.

    NonyNony

    December 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    @Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century):

    Don’t read too much into it – the “companies that hate Christmas” list contains mostly companies whose employees or advertising use the words “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”.

    As an aside – if you’re the kind of person who likes to fuck with people, using the phrase “Happy Christmas” instead of “Merry Christmas” sometimes causes brain-lock in the foot soldiers for the War On Christmas. You can sometimes actually see the rage start to form on their face before their brain processes the second word.

  17. 17.

    srv

    December 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    I don’t understand how we’re winning if I never shop at any of these places in the first place.

    Has anyone ever thought of starting a Xtian Google? Where it was Xmas every day?

  18. 18.

    Chris

    December 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Not Jews, Muslims. That’s how you can tell modern, respectable, totally non-bigoted conservatives from fascists. They think the Muslims control society, not the Jews.

    I love this War On Christmas shit. Got into a facebook argument with a person where I said it didn’t matter if you said “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays,” only a dickwad would actually take offense at either. As part of the response, I was informed that 97% OF THE WORLD celebrated Christmas – take that, liberal elitists!

    Course, it might just be that he thinks Republicans are the only people who matter enough to actually be listed as THE WORLD. Still, are you really celebrating Christmas if you think Scrooge was the good guy?

  19. 19.

    malraux

    December 13, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    I think what I love about the war on christmas the most is how it cements the hard core christianists as the most consumption centered religion out there.

  20. 20.

    Jay in Oregon

    December 13, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    @Pavlov’s Dog:

    NASCAR has been turning to the left for a long time.

    I see what you did there.

  21. 21.

    New Yorker

    December 13, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Can someone please explain to me why a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice is the hill to die on for so many Christians?

  22. 22.

    Roger Moore

    December 13, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    @steviez314:

    They’ll have to pry the Victoria’s Secret catalog out of my cold, dead wet, sticky hands.

    Fixt.

  23. 23.

    drc

    December 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Yes because it’s all about using the birth of Christ to sell crap. He would be so proud, using his birth and eventual death to push cell phones.

  24. 24.

    NonyNony

    December 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    @malraux:

    I think what I love about the war on christmas the most is how it cements the hard core christianists as the most consumption centered religion out there.

    That’s by design. The right-wing American flavor of Christianist Christianity is a hard-core consumer consumption religion. Spending money on useless crap is baked right into it. Mostly because the guys who run the right-wing American Christianist churches need their rubes to spend money on useless crap to make sure they can make their house payments and payments for their private jets.

  25. 25.

    Mike Kay (Democrat of the Century)

    December 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    @Chris Grrr:

    This kind of persecution calls for an updated edition of Foxe’s Book of Martyrs.

    I hope they add a chapter for the firebaggers.

    Gawd, Cole puts up a thread mocking obama bashing and all the firebaggers slither out of the wood work and claim Cole is persecuting them.

  26. 26.

    Chyron HR

    December 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Ah, December, that magical time of the year when people gather together to fight against “political correctness” by demanding that nobody say “Happy Holidays”.

  27. 27.

    Skepticat

    December 13, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Still, are you really celebrating Christmas if you think Scrooge was the good guy?

    FTW

  28. 28.

    RepublicanPointOfView

    December 13, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    What is behind the War On Christmas is

    that anyone who has the gall to place other religions on the same level as Baptist Christians is obviously Anti-Christian. To say ‘Happy Holidays’ gives the same level of credence to Jews and Muslims and other anti-christian religions (like Methodists and Presbyterians – as Pat Robertson tells us) as it does to true Christians. It, therefore, becomes obvious to all ‘real’ Christians that, in doing so, you are waging a ‘War On Christmas’.

    You must recall that our lord and savior (Rush Limbaugh) has advertising to sell and our modern day prophets (Pat Robertson and his fellow Baptist televangelists) have funds to be raised. The War On Christmas is very, very good for their efforts on behalf of Jesus Christ.

  29. 29.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    @New Yorker:

    Can someone please explain to me why a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice is the hill to die on for so many Christians?

    My favorite is the Christians who wail about Christmas being attacked when it’s “the holiest day of the year” for Christians. Look, Christians, I’m an atheist, right? And even I know that Christian teaching going all the way back to Paul makes Easter the far more important holiday. Some of them need to maybe read up on the faith they’re defending to fervently.

  30. 30.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    @drc:
    Oh, that sounds interesting. Where can I get me one of these ‘cell phones’?
    (On a side note, that doesn’t have anything to do with blastocytes, does it?)
    Praise be to Rightwing Jesus.

  31. 31.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    December 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    I won the war on Christmas long ago. Happy Chanukah-came-early-and-I already-got-my-latkes-doughnuts-and-gelt, bitchez!

    Of course, you have to give guilt to get gelt, so we maintain that little bit of commercialism to keep our connection to the rest of humanity. (I forgot – non-Christians don’t even have souls, let alone rights.)

  32. 32.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    @Chyron HR:
    I wonder if “Merry Fucking Christmas” is a good compromise?

  33. 33.

    Sentient Puddle

    December 13, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    @CJ:

    I love the NEW! tag. As if you’re supposed to be excited to not shop somewhere.

    I also notice that the tag isn’t next to NASCAR.

  34. 34.

    Culture of Truth

    December 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    This clearly opens the door for a Christian-themed office supply store.

  35. 35.

    Kryptik

    December 13, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    @Joseph Nobles:

    Well, crap. Is that the only thing of ACA they found unconstitutional?

    Regardless, I am gonna hazard a guess that the Supreme Court is not gonna touch this sucker now that it’s a ‘victory’ for the wingers.

  36. 36.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    December 13, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Victoria’s Secret?

    I would never have believed it. Don’t they have the models wear little Santa hats and everything?

  37. 37.

    Zifnab

    December 13, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    I’m never clear on what’s behind the anti-Christmas movement.

    If I remember correctly, the original War on Christmas was ginned up to keep Bill O’Reilly’s sexual harassment scandal from dominating the front page. Now it’s just one of those yearly traditions – like visiting Santa or setting up a big tree or drinking egg nog or voting Republican that people do on impulse without really thinking passed the fact that we’ve always done it this way and why change now?

    I mean, so long as it’s good for the ratings, FOX’ll keep running with it.

  38. 38.

    bkny

    December 13, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    i may have to go order those landsend gloves i’ve been looking at…

    also, too, fox is trying to gin up a hoohaw over the selection of frosty the snowman instead of santa clause at a recent ymca event:

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/12/12/new-york-city-ymca-gives-santa-boot/

  39. 39.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Yeah, we nonbelievers are going to destroy their colossal worldwide religion, all 20 centuries of it, by not calling our winter holiday by their holiday’s name.
    Do they think we’re idiots?
    Don’t answer that.

  40. 40.

    Brick Oven Bill

    December 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    It is the Jews, not the Muslims. Take, for example, the possible inspiration for the 2001 attack:

    Surah 9:11- But if they [Christians] repent, establish regular prayers, and practise regular charity,- they are your brethren in Faith: thus do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand.

    By choosing September 11th as the date of the Sign, Osama would be in fact, encouraging us to celebrate Christmas, if he was the one behind it.

    Jews, in contrast, give us MTV. Rosie seems to believe that the Jews also gave us 9-11. But this does not make sense, as they are waging the War on Christmas.

  41. 41.

    terraformer

    December 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Don’t forget that at GOP.com, they sell a “Holiday ornament” with the words “Happy Holidays” on it:

    GOP.com “Happy Holidays” Ornament

    They also sell the same one with the words “Merry Christmas” on it.

    Appeasers.

  42. 42.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    December 13, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    As a Jew, let me say this:

    If I were behind the War on Christmas, you can damn well bet I’d be doing a better job. Not on the “taking Christ out” nonsense, but on STOPPING THE CULTURAL ONSLAUGHT THAT INSISTS THAT I MUST KEEP BUYING MORE AND MORE FUCKING SHIT.

  43. 43.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    December 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    The company email card for this time of year says “Happy Holidays.” I’m waiting for someone to get all riled up about it, since our parent company is located in Israel.

  44. 44.

    IrishGirl

    December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    @New Yorker:

    Because they’re so f*cking stoopid?!

  45. 45.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    As a Jew, let me say this:

    If I were behind the War on Christmas, you can damn well bet I’d be doing a better job. Not on the “taking Christ out” nonsense — what care I about what other people believe about God? — but on STOPPING THE CULTURAL ONSLAUGHT THAT INSISTS THAT I MUST KEEP BUYING MORE AND MORE FUCKING SHIT.

    Given that the ads and commercials have all but buried me in my home, I’mma guess that either my people aren’t behind it, or we’re far less good at being nefarious than people think we are.

    EDIT: Oops, wait, no idea why the top half of this appears twice. See, I told you we Jews are not as good at being bad as people think we are!

  46. 46.

    dr. bloor

    December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    Apparently, you don’t get any credit for selling products that induce your clientele to yell “Oh, God!”, either.

  47. 47.

    Butch

    December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    How do you put something that’s already all in capital letters in capital letters for emphasis? Ferchrissakes – NASCAR?

  48. 48.

    New Yorker

    December 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    How much acid would I have to do in order for this to make sense?

  49. 49.

    Brick Oven Bill

    December 13, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    6 grams.

  50. 50.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    @Xecky Gilchrist:
    It’s terrible that at first I thought of Santa Hat merkins.*
    (*No, not ‘merikans’, you know ‘merkins’, like you could wear on your [sociaIlist])

  51. 51.

    dr. bloor

    December 13, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:

    Stop buying shit? You’re not just a Jew, you’re a commie Jew!

  52. 52.

    Dexter

    December 13, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    OT alert: Virginia Federal Judge strikes down health care law.

    FWIW Judge Hudson was appointed by GWB.

  53. 53.

    Zifnab

    December 13, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    @Kryptik:

    Regardless, I am gonna hazard a guess that the Supreme Court is not gonna touch this sucker now that it’s a ‘victory’ for the wingers.

    It’s floating through multiple federal courts and receiving different rulings as it goes. The SCOTUS is going to have to settle it, because you can’t have two equally high ranking courts completely disagree and consider the law finalized.

  54. 54.

    El Cid

    December 13, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    The question ain’t if NASCAR celebrates Christmas enough.

    The real question is if Christmas celebrates NASCAR enough.

  55. 55.

    Jay in Oregon

    December 13, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    @Ross Hershberger:

    Yeah, we nonbelievers are going to destroy their colossal worldwide religion, all 20 centuries of it, by not calling our winter holiday by their holiday’s name.

    Yeah, and these are the same idiots who sneer at Muslims for taking desecration of the Koran and depictions of Mohammed so seriously.

  56. 56.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    @Zifnab:

    The SCOTUS is going to have to settle it, because you can’t have two equally high ranking courts completely disagree and consider the law finalized.

    Oh, that’ll turn out well. I guess we knew this was coming. The only question in my mind is how, not when, Roberts will signal that HCR is dead.

  57. 57.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:
    Well, at least you can buy new fucking shit. The old fucking shit can go in the thread with the malcontents.

  58. 58.

    Culture of Truth

    December 13, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    What kind of big fast gas-guzzling car would baby Jesus drive?

  59. 59.

    BGinCHI

    December 13, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    @steviez314: That’s probably not all they’ll have to pry out of your hand….

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    December 13, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    @malraux:

    I think what I love about the war on christmas the most is how it cements the hard core christianists as the most consumption centered religion out there.

    It’s like their trip to Wal-Mart to buy cheap crap for their kids is supposed to substitute for actually going to church.

    I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, but who knows? Maybe Sam Walton really was the reincarnation of Jesus so everything you buy from there is pre-blessed or something.

  61. 61.

    Roger Moore

    December 13, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    @New Yorker:

    How much acid would I have to do in order for this to make sense?

    I don’t think there’s enough acid in the univers to make that make sense. But it shouldn’t take a lot of pot to make it hilarious.

  62. 62.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 13, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    @fasteddie9318: Look, if he wasn’t born, he couldn’t be nailed to a cross to die. Obviously Christmas is more important, and don’t give me any of that doctrine shit. Plus, presents.

  63. 63.

    jwb

    December 13, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    @Joseph Nobles: Not really a surprise: odds were heavily in favor of one of the judges ruling this way. It should be very interesting to see what happens politically if this is upheld. Personally, I don’t think the consequences are going to turn out to be at all what the goopers expect.

  64. 64.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    December 13, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    @dr. bloor: An anti-Semite can always find a Jew who suits his/her worldview. Capitalist? We’re all Karl Marx! Communist? We’re all Baron de Rothschild!

    And of course, we all hate the baby Jesus.

  65. 65.

    BGinCHI

    December 13, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    @Culture of Truth: Obviously he would have a Jesus Mobile.

    Next.

  66. 66.

    Carnacki

    December 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Is this all part of the American Family Association’s ongoing war against the free market?

  67. 67.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    @Zifnab:

    The SCOTUS is going to have to settle it

    Well, there goes HCR! It sure was nice having that 6 months or so where insurers couldn’t tell infants to STFU and die already because they happened to get sick.

  68. 68.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    @Culture of Truth:

    What kind of big fast gas-guzzling car would baby Jesus drive?

    Easy. The Bible says that Jesus and the apostles were all in one accord. I thought everyone knew that.

  69. 69.

    Culture of Truth

    December 13, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    NASCAR is more of a Festivus kind of activity anyway.

  70. 70.

    Benjamin Cisco

    December 13, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    RE: “NASCAR Jesus”
    __
    Shouldn’t the patch on his chest and shoulder say, “WWID”?

  71. 71.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    @jwb:

    It should be very interesting to see what happens politically if this is upheld. Personally, I don’t think the consequences are going to turn out to be at all what the goopers expect.

    Well, in a perfect world the “consequences” would be an angry mob looting and burning the corporate HQ of United Health Care while carrying the heads of a few SC justices around on pikes, followed by a period of national reconciliation that included single-payer health care. But in this instance, I imagine the teabaggers doing a long victory lap, while the ones who happen to get sick scratch their empty little heads, wondering why their carrier decided to punt their asses off of their coverage.

  72. 72.

    PurpleGirl

    December 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    The Hindu Diwali is a more honest celebration of consumerism. You worship Lakshmi (or Ganesha or both) and celebrate your prosperity while asking Lakshmi/Ganesha for another year of prosperity. You do this by lighting lots and lots of candles so she can find her way to your home. You buy lots of gifts for people to show your prosperity and have a party with lots of food, especially sweets, again to show your prosperity. Diwali lasts for 5 days, the third day being the most important day, and it’s a lunar holiday so it moves around the calendar.

  73. 73.

    David Brooks (not that one)

    December 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    No, that’s not what he asked. I don’t think anyone else has bothered to check that what he actually asked was:

    The War on the War on Christmas: Has it become an unwinnable quagmire?

    Emphasis mine. Mine, all mine, I tell you!!!

    (edit) that was three exclamation points that became an image file fywp.

  74. 74.

    Ash Can

    December 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    @fasteddie9318: Thank you! I’m a Christian and love celebrating Christmas, but it’s basically two holidays in one for me, the religious and the secular, and I’m fine with that. I celebrate the religious aspect in my own personal way, and then have a rip-roaring good time celebrating the sheer party aspect with my largely non-religious extended family. So what if there’s no religiosity involved with the presents, Christmas tree, food and drink, sweets up the wazoo, etc.? There never was to begin with; these are all Pagan trappings happily co-opted by Christians over the ages.

    I’d say the Christians who get bent out of shape by others celebrating Christmas in ways they wouldn’t — or not celebrating the holiday at all — have an awfully tenuous grasp on their own faith. Otherwise, why would they get so worked up over what are essentially nothing more than appearances?

  75. 75.

    Michael

    December 13, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Talladega Nights was brilliant parody, in hindsight.

  76. 76.

    PurpleGirl

    December 13, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    @Ross Hershberger: you need to be punished for that.

  77. 77.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 13, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Continued OT: From Twitter, I hear the judge declined to stop implementation of the ACA. He just ruled against the individual mandate. That goes into effect in 2014, so there should be time for it to make it to the Supreme Court. And they’ll take it – too many differing opinions now.

  78. 78.

    Svensker

    December 13, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    @New Yorker:

    Can someone please explain to me why a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice is the hill to die on for so many Christians?

    Yuppers. The protestant church was very anti-Christmas for a long time.

  79. 79.

    Suffern ACE

    December 13, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    @Zifnab: Nah. I believe it was going on for quite some time as a way for preachers to hector their congregants into evangelizing during the holiday season. (Oops. Sorry about the holiday. It’s second nature when you live in a place where a good many neighbors are Jewish).

  80. 80.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    @Michael:

    Talladega Nights was brilliant parody, in hindsight.

    Pretty much my favorite Will Ferrell movie, made more awesome by a great supporting cast.

    If you want to see the real underbelly of American culture, unvarnished by big money: drag racing.
    (Sorry Shirley. Not you.)

  81. 81.

    Keith G

    December 13, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    @Pavlov’s Dog: You win.

  82. 82.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    December 13, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Stuck in moderation, so I’ll say it again:

    I won the war on Christmas long ago. Happy Chanukah-came-early-and-I already-got-my-latkes-doughnuts-and-gelt, bitchez!

    Of course, you have to give guilt to get gelt, so we maintain that little bit of consumerism to keep our connection to the rest of humanity. (I forgot – non-Christians don’t even have souls, let alone rights.)

  83. 83.

    WereBear

    December 13, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    @Ash Can: why would they get so worked up over what are essentially nothing more than appearances?

    Because the Xantian religion is only about appearances; showing up for services, how you dress, the kind of noises you make when confronted with moral choices, putting a manger scene on your lawn.

    Because this brand of religion has nothing to do with spirituality, only conformity with authoritarian agendas run by con artists.

  84. 84.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    @Suffern ACE:
    When I worked the cash register at whole foods in austin way back, it was quite a lot of work to guess when to drop my usual ‘happy holidays,’ and when to use ‘merry christmas’ so as not to offend the minority of xmas bigots. Pretty much, if they had a cross on, they got ‘merry christmas,’ otherwise no. I’m sure that most of the Christians shopping there didn’t care one way or the other, but occasionally we’d get a lively one. Would have been a different story at walmart, probably.

  85. 85.

    sven

    December 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I suspect we will be hearing more about this:

    We are not labels – we are people.
    We care deeply about our country.
    We are frustrated and concerned about the tone of politics.
    We are passionate about addressing America’s challenges.
    We are Democrats, Republicans and Independents.
    Most importantly, we are Americans

    A new centrist group called ‘No Labels’.
    The speakers at their big launch include David Gergen, David Brooks, Evan Bayh, Joe Scarborough, and Michael Bloomberg.

  86. 86.

    WereBear

    December 13, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    @sven: Ah yes, the Rebranded Crap maneuver.

  87. 87.

    Brachiator

    December 13, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    @Ross Hershberger:

    Easy. The Bible says that Jesus and the apostles were all in one accord. I thought everyone knew that.

    Very good.

  88. 88.

    Ash Can

    December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:

    And of course, we all hate the baby Jesus.

    Butbutbut how could you? He was such a nice Jewish boy himself — he lived at home till he was 30, hung out with the guys all the time, and his momma believed he was God.

    (And yes, of course I heard that joke from a Jewish friend.)

  89. 89.

    Loneoak

    December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    @New Yorker:

    is the hill to die on for so many Christians?

    You might want to reconsider your wording here. Christians tend to be rather sensitive about the whole dying on a hill thing.

    I just don’t get why its so important to have your metaphysics constantly affirmed.

  90. 90.

    JenJen

    December 13, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    Friday night, while driving home from work, I noticed a festive new billboard on I-75 just north of Cincinnati that read:

    “I miss hearing you say ‘Merry Christmas’
    __ – Jesus”

    Wish I could’ve snapped a photo of it, but messing with your cell phone while zooming down an interstate at 70+ mph is never wise.

  91. 91.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @Ross Hershberger: All thirteen of them? What about the seatbelts?

  92. 92.

    Culture of Truth

    December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @Benjamin Cisco:

    “Watch This Drive”

  93. 93.

    Svensker

    December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @bkny:

    also, too, fox is trying to gin up a hoohaw over the selection of frosty the snowman instead of santa clause at a recent ymca event:

    Also, too, Fox brainiac Brian Kilmeade thinks that Frosty is a holy Christmas symbol…

  94. 94.

    soonergrunt

    December 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @Culture of Truth: We have those already. Mardel Christian Book Store, from the same family that brought you Hobby Lobby.

  95. 95.

    NonyNony

    December 13, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    @Ross Hershberger:

    The only question in my mind is how, not when, Roberts will signal that HCR is dead.

    The only part that was struck down in the recent ruling was the individual mandate – the rest of HCR is fine, but the judge ruled that Congress over-reached their power with the Commerce Clause by framing it as an individual mandate instead of making it a tax.

    Which is what a whole bunch of people have been saying that this entire case rests on for over a year now. The whole idea of an individual mandate is a stupid Republican idea that the Democrats glommed onto after their better ideas were killed by Republicans in the 90s.

    I give it about 50-50 odds that the Roberts court really strikes down the mandate. Because the “liberal” side usually sides with expanding the interpretation of the Commerce Clause and the outcome of HCR (more money for health insurance companies) is something that the pro-business Roberts Court should actually be in favor of.

  96. 96.

    Martin

    December 13, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    @New Yorker:

    Can someone please explain to me why a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice drive holiday sales is the hill to die on for so many Christians capitalists?

    Does it make more sense this way? Jesus is only sacred if it moves iPods, Lego, and Webkinz. What does Easter do for us? Increased sales of eggs, chocolate, and marshmallow? What the fuck help is that?

  97. 97.

    catclub

    December 13, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    @Third Eye Open:
    “There is no winning, only hair pulling.”

    Check out the comments on alicublog on war on christmas.
    Especially the one where the whole idea is to lose and become even more of a martyr – rather than do something constructive and ‘win’. Very insightful, I thought.

  98. 98.

    gnomedad

    December 13, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    @NonyNony:

    if you’re the kind of person who likes to fuck with people, using the phrase “Happy Christmas” instead of “Merry Christmas” sometimes causes brain-lock in the foot soldiers for the War On Christmas.

    “Feliz Navidad!” might be worth a try, too.

  99. 99.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    All thirteen of them? What about the seatbelts?

    If I was in a car with the Son of God I’d probably take my chances.

  100. 100.

    ornery curmudgeon

    December 13, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    It is a Rightwing technique to ‘save’ and ‘protect’ things that are established and/or needed in society … this gives them ownership of it. (see family, the military, capitalism, guns, God in general)

    Also Rightwing followers can feel powerful when the words “Merry Christmas” are said, and righteously angered otherwise; there is also the psychological effect of others being forced to submit to the Right’s awesome omnipotence by celebrating Christmas.

    PLUS you cannot defend yourself, since claiming you are not making War on Christmas cements the ‘fact’ of there being one (why protest something you aren’t doing?) To say their trumped up ‘war’ is stupid is simply validating evidence that you ‘hate Christmas.’

    Conservatives are social termites that signal the end stage of a societal development; in this case they will, if successful in prosecuting this phony defense of one of the world’s most popular holidays, completely destroy the remaining fellowship and good spirits of this increasingly corporate holiday. And they will feel victimized and righteous the entire time.

    It’s win, win, win, and … WIN!

  101. 101.

    eric

    December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    @NonyNony: so, then insurance companies have to comply with the law while you and I dont….and a merry fcking christmas indeed. I think there is a 0% chance of affirmance without a modification by the Fourth Circuit or Supremes….but, i can hope!

  102. 102.

    SFAW

    December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    The speakers at their big launch include David Gergen, David Brooks, Evan Bayh, Joe Scarborough, and Michael Bloomberg.

    You forgot Poland David Broder!

  103. 103.

    Ash Can

    December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    @NonyNony: I wonder if they’ll see the revenue aspect of it that way, given the limitations ACA places on profits.

    This is actually a situation in which the glacial pace of justice is an advantage — the longer it takes for a definitive ruling to be handed down, the more the benefits kick in and the more people realize that ACA is a pretty good idea after all.

  104. 104.

    sven

    December 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    @JenJen: When I left Walmart the other day, a 70-something greeter had the temerity to tell me Happy Holidays.

    I ‘accidentally’ knocked him down with my cart and shouted MERRY CHRISTMAS at him.

    It’s time people were reminded what this season is all about!

  105. 105.

    eric

    December 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    @Ross Hershberger: really? how that work out for Peter?

  106. 106.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    @Ross Hershberger:

    If I was in a car with the Son of God I’d probably take my chances.

    Really? Not me. That dude clearly had a death wish.

  107. 107.

    bemused

    December 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    So, it’s shop at places that are on board with low tax, low pay, job outsourcing corporate modes of operation or shop where clerks say praise jesus as they ring up your purchases.
    Decisions, decisions.

  108. 108.

    change

    December 13, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Thank God for the Commonwealth of Virginia! Once again standing up to federal power.

    Face it–we always win in the end, liberals.

  109. 109.

    Dennis SGMM

    December 13, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    @Joseph Nobles:
    So I went to Google to find out more. I searched ACA and found this:

    American Cornhole Association
    The American Cornhole Association was established by a small group of dedicated Cornholers from the west side of Cincinnati, Ohio. It has grown over the years and, to the best of our knowledge, now represents the largest organized Cornhole / Corn Toss association in the United States.

    Who knew that they were so well-organized?

  110. 110.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    @NonyNony:

    The only part that was struck down in the recent ruling was the individual mandate – the rest of HCR is fine

    The “rest of HCR” will crater the insurance industry unless the mandate stays. Which, when I put it that way, sounds like a feature and not a bug. Say, Supreme Court, strike away!

  111. 111.

    Oscar Leroy

    December 13, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    @Joseph Nobles:

    Oh no! I might not be forced to buy a service whose copays I can’t afford!

  112. 112.

    New Yorker

    December 13, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    @Martin:

    Sure, it makes sense that way. I just get the feeling that a lot of the same people who rage against banker bonuses and outsourcing are the same ones raging against elitists trying to take Jesus out of said pagan winter solstice holiday, so I’m not sure the two overlap. If anything, their rage is driven as by Apple wishing us a Happy Holiday to get us to buys those iPads and not by the ACLU being upset over a nativity scene on the steps of city hall.

  113. 113.

    Ross Hershberger

    December 13, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    @change:

    Put a stocking in it, will ya?

  114. 114.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @Ross Hershberger: I was thinking of the legalities.

    ETA: It was my understanding that the Romans could be quite strict.

  115. 115.

    R-Jud

    December 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @PurpleGirl: Send him to the punitentiary!

  116. 116.

    ornery curmudgeon

    December 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @New Yorker: @New Yorker:
    Can someone please explain to me why a Pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice is the hill to die on for so many Christians?

    Actually they intend for YOU to die on it. They built the hill exactly for that purpose.

  117. 117.

    gnomedad

    December 13, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    @terraformer:

    GOP.com “Happy Holidays” Ornament

    So when are they showing up on the AFA list?

  118. 118.

    change

    December 13, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Just a matter of time before Chief Justice Roberts clips the wings of Obamacare, and Obambi’s failure of a Presidency is complete.

  119. 119.

    catclub

    December 13, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    @fasteddie9318: “… wondering why their carrier decided to punt their asses off of their coverage.”

    This is the funny part. The no recissions part of ACA is still perfectly fine, and if there is no mandate, the insurers will promptly go bankrupt – or more likely scream bloody murder and get it fixed by congress.

    The fun will happen when (if) the tea partiers ever notice that insurance companies MUST have the mandate, and will go to court to protect it.

  120. 120.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 13, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    @Dennis SGMM: That puts a whole new spin on individual mandate, doesn’t it? Hello!

  121. 121.

    Martin

    December 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    @Ash Can: The only outcome killing the individual mandate will lead to is single payer. I don’t think the GOP realizes this.

  122. 122.

    Dennis SGMM

    December 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    @Joseph Nobles:
    This blog desperately needs a rimshot symbol.

  123. 123.

    Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    December 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Actually, I think I’ll throw this link in here, to the always-excellent Russell King, who wrote the most sensible and (dare I say it?) Christian response to the War on Christmas nonsense I’ve ever seen:

    “Meditation on keeping Christ in Christmas (a would-be viral email)”: http://bit.ly/f7tebb

    PS Y’all should be reading his blog all the time anyway: Russ Filtered News http://filterednews.wordpress.com/

  124. 124.

    El Cid

    December 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    @NonyNony: One of the things I don’t understand is why you couldn’t do exactly the same thing but as a tax for which those enrolling in insurance get tax credit?

    Is this a difference in wording from a “mandate” which is significant, a different procedure?

    Or would it all be viewed the same?

  125. 125.

    New Yorker

    December 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    @Dennis SGMM:

    I hope I’m not the only one who immediately thought of this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IL-UVlNXyj4/SUCmhT58QtI/AAAAAAAAEOA/hnjwrF0CM74/s400/cornholio.jpg

  126. 126.

    Legalize

    December 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    The “New!” tag is awesome. I imagine these people constantly refreshing their browsers to make sure that they don’t wander into a verboten store on accident.

  127. 127.

    fasteddie9318

    December 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    @catclub:

    This is the funny part. The no recissions part of ACA is still perfectly fine, and if there is no mandate, the insurers will promptly go bankrupt – or more likely scream bloody murder and get it fixed by congress.
    __
    The fun will happen when (if) the tea partiers ever notice that insurance companies MUST have the mandate, and will go to court to protect it.

    I take it as a lead-pipe cinch that Congress will fix everything for them rather than implement actual reforms that might actually help people. And as far as those tea partiers are concerned, such an event with be no more cognitively dissonant than everything else about the tea parties, yet they’re all blissfully too stupid to get it. They won’t figure this one out either; they’ll protest in favor of repealing the bans on recission and pre-existing conditions because Glenn Beck told them it was all an Islamunist plot to sap and impurify their precious bodily fluids. And then blame President Obama when they can’t get coverage.

  128. 128.

    NonyNony

    December 13, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    @fasteddie9318:

    The “rest of HCR” will crater the insurance industry unless the mandate stays. Which, when I put it that way, sounds like a feature and not a bug. Say, Supreme Court, strike away!

    Yes. This is conservative activists either not quite understanding the impact of what they’re doing or assuming that given the choice between the insurance industry cratering and repealing all the rest of HCR, the Congress will repeal the rest of it. Which feeds back in on the first point of them not getting that they’re doing – now that people are expecting, as an example, pre-existing conditions to be covered, they aren’t going to be happy with a Congress that rolls things back to the way they were.

    If the SC decides to eliminate the individual mandate the insurance companies will be the ones on their hands and knees begging Congress to do something to replace it. And if the logic of this court holds up then its doubtful that anything will be able to replace it outside of a public option paid for via taxes (which can be doled out to insurance companies in the form of vouchers I would think).

    That’s why I doubt this will hold up at the SC – someone in that mix (maybe even Roberts himself) won’t want to be the one to crush the health insurance business via a court ruling and they’ll let their hatred of the Commerce Clause slide for a ruling in exchange for their typical corporate ass-kissing.

  129. 129.

    Sputnik_Sweetheart

    December 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    That site is amazing. It even has the terror alert color system to show how Jesus-safe each store is. Oh wait, you mean it is not meant as a parody?

  130. 130.

    Dennis SGMM

    December 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    @New Yorker:
    Lamentably, it was one of the first things that occurred to me. That led to a vision of them holding meetings wherein the participants all had their t-shirts pulled up around their faces.

  131. 131.

    Kryptik

    December 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    @NonyNony:

    Sadly, I see it playing out more like fasteddie’s version: demand that we legislatively cut off the ‘leeches’ to save ‘OUR’ health insurance from going bankrupt, and hey, guess what, we’re worse off when we started, but at least the Tea Baggers got their moral victory!!

  132. 132.

    geg6

    December 13, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Personally, I am a dedicated foot soldier in the War on Christmas. I love targeting the whiny Christians over the winter solstice celebration by pointing out that there is no date for the birth of the Baby Jeebus, that the holiday and almost all of its traditions are based on pagan practices, and that the actual teachings of their supposed savior would preclude the sort of unhinged materialism that Americans wallow in at this time of year.

    And then I smile and say “Happy holidays!”

    Sometimes it really is a lot of fun to be an atheist. This is one of them.

  133. 133.

    lou

    December 13, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    My beloved hubby is signing his Xmas cards: “Have a Christy Christmas and a even Christier New Year. and p.s., don’t be a douchebag.”

    Guess the right-wing yet again doesn’t understand its history. cuz if it really wanted to go back to its Puritan roots, it wouldn’t want Christmas celebrates with trees and tinsel and carols and wassailing and yuletide logs at all. In fact, it was illegal.

  134. 134.

    Tax Analyst

    December 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    @Culture of Truth:

    What kind of big fast gas-guzzling car would baby Jesus drive?

    Well, a “Christler”, of course.

  135. 135.

    JenJen

    December 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    @sven: WWJD? He’d smack a bitch, that’s what he’d do. ;-)

    ETA: Do you think the Lord gets a discount on billboard ads? Just wondering’.

    @Tax Analyst: Snort!!

  136. 136.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 13, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Cuccinelli is asking the White House to join him in bypassing the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals and going straight to the Supreme Court.

  137. 137.

    C. Gallager

    December 13, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Picked two at random from the list. Prominently displayed on the Web Site front page:

    Barnes & Noble: 8 Days left for free delivery by Christmas
    Radio Shack: The Shack can still be home for Christmas

    What exactly do these Christofascist assholes want from these companies? “The Baby Jesus would snap up this Playstation at this price!”?

  138. 138.

    Chyron HR

    December 13, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    @change:

    Help! Help! Won’t some activist judge rescue us from the horror of a democratically elected government?

    Sorry, but Congressional majorities passing laws isn’t a bug in the Constitution, it’s a feature. If you don’t like it, I’m sure your God-Emperor Putin does things differently in his country.

  139. 139.

    PurpleGirl

    December 13, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    The yuletide logs and all that stuff are pagan are hold-overs from Solstice celebrations. (Yay! ’cause they are fun.) The Christmas pine tree and its decoration, cards and stuff came to England from Germany when Prince Albert (of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) married Queen Victoria and she let him continue to celebrate Christmas the way he knew it growing up. And the pine tree with lights was an old pagan custom too. Where ever we look in the British Isles and Northern Europe we find pagan roots to celebrations.

  140. 140.

    Hogan

    December 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    @change:

    Face it—we always win in the end, liberals.

    So in your universe, what happened at Appomatox Courthouse?

  141. 141.

    Hogan

    December 13, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    @Ash Can: And he thought his mother was a virgin.

  142. 142.

    Ash Can

    December 13, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    @Hogan: ::cracks up::

  143. 143.

    CalD

    December 13, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    For the record, I actually am at war on “people of faith.”

  144. 144.

    geg6

    December 13, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    @CalD:

    Heh. A fellow traveler, I see. Me, too.

  145. 145.

    Jewish Steel

    December 13, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    My girlfriend manages a bookstore and reports being challenged with an aggressive “Merry Christmas!” from older customers. They watch and wait for a reply. She asked me, “Am I just being paranoid here or is this more ‘War on Christmas’ stuff?”

    At least old white folks have their priorities straight.

  146. 146.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    December 13, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    One would think that a crass commercial enterprise ignoring or only obliquely acknowledging a religion’s sacred holiday would be welcomed by believers, while using sacred language or imagery in pursuit of commercial ends would be considered an insult. One would think.

    And Victoria’s Secret? Granted, when I thumb through their catalog I frequently invoke the names of God, Mary, and Jesus, but still…

  147. 147.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 13, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    What if I like the efficiency of saying “Happy Holidays,” rather than having to say, “I wish you tidings of joy, in this, the season of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, may He bless and keep us with Him always, forever and ever, amen, and have a Happy New Year?”

  148. 148.

    debbie

    December 13, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I was sad to see that Dobson’s site, Stand for Christmas, was deactivated this year. I’d really enjoyed the comments about stores’ not supporting Christmas. (My favorite comment was the woman who was outraged that Target did not have Baby Jesus wrapping paper.) This year, they’ve started something called Rising Voice. It seems kinder, gentler, and decidedly skewed towards the young. No fun there.

    http://standforchristmas.com/

    http://risingvoice.com/

  149. 149.

    Hogan

    December 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    My standard greeting is “Oh no, the frost giants are winning!” Which is probably why I don’t work in retail.

  150. 150.

    gnomedad

    December 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    @JenJen:

    “I miss hearing you say ‘Merry Christmas’
    – Jesus”

    Just the way He heard it from His Apostles!

  151. 151.

    PurpleGirl

    December 13, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Very good point.

  152. 152.

    Nutella

    December 13, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    The Salvation Army bell-ringer wished us BOTH “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas”.

    Boycott or not boycott? WWBOD? What would Bill O’Reilly do?

  153. 153.

    Nutella

    December 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    @Bruce (formerly Steve S.):

    One would also think that a crass commercial enterprise using the US flag on clothing and/or for commercial purposes or flying it in the dark or the rain, all of which are officially considered disrepectful to the flag would be condemned by all those patriotic Americans who get worked up about flag-burning.

    One would be wrong, of course.

  154. 154.

    SectarianSofa

    December 13, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    @Hogan:
    Awesome. I like that more than a cheese sandwich at dawn, which is saying a lot. It’s really perfect, because the Frost Giants are winning.

    @Nutella:
    Ah, that’s a version of IOKIYAR. Those rules only apply to unAmerican Americans.

    I also find, “Suffer, victim,” is useful as all purpose greeting, a la
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Never_Promised_You_a_Rose_Garden_%28novel%29

  155. 155.

    JenJen

    December 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    @gnomedad: It warms the heart to think of all the people driving on I-75 who believed that billboard really came from Jesus. Like, as if Jesus himself were speaking to them during their commute. And, if he were, “Merry Christmas” is the one thing in all the world’s misery that was weighing super-heavy on his mind, so much so that he bought a billboard. With Jesus Money. Because Jesus is a narcissist, or something.

    You know? Gawd, we live in a weird country. Whenever my Euro-friends visit, they always comment on how over-the-top whacky-religious the United States seems, and they’re right.

  156. 156.

    Jay in Oregon

    December 13, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    @Hogan:

    My standard greeting is “Oh no, the frost giants are winning!” Which is probably why I don’t work in retail.

    FTW!

  157. 157.

    Xenos

    December 13, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    @change:

    Thank God for the Commonwealth of Virginia! Once again standing up to federal power.
    Face it—we always win in the end, liberals

    I recall your ass to you all back in the day. Remember how the placement of Arlington National Cemetery was chosen as a deliberate insult to Virginians who wanted to stand up to federal power? Good times.

  158. 158.

    Ruckus

    December 13, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    @SectarianSofa:
    For The Fucking win. Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Just couldn’t.

    BTW I’ve been using, Merry Fucking Christmas, for about 35 years. It seemed just as appropriate then as now.

  159. 159.

    Bostondreams

    December 13, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    @Third Eye Open:

    As a UF alum, I have a witty and snarky response all ready, involving FSU, clowns, and Bobby Bowden…but then I realize that we aren’t much better.
    I think we can agree, however, that our new governor is a total douche, and without the excuse of being a Cane.

  160. 160.

    Paris

    December 13, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    @sven: Living in a conservative area, I had two people I know yell ‘Merry Christmas’ to me over the weekend. I said ‘same to you’ or something like that. Did Rush put out the word to tell everybody ‘Merry Christmas’? It seemed coordinated – but nice.

  161. 161.

    keestadoll

    December 13, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Oh!!!!! That explains the total lack of green, red, silver, gold glittering sparkling, IN YOUR FACE merchandising at some of these stores, except that…that’s not the case. I’ll keep looking for the front door Ambush Santas and REPORT immediately!

  162. 162.

    twiffer

    December 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    @gnomedad: mela kalikimaki?

  163. 163.

    twiffer

    December 13, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    the llbean puppies are satanists. that’s why they got knocked to the naughty list.

  164. 164.

    gnomedad

    December 13, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    @Benjamin Cisco:

    Shouldn’t the patch on his chest and shoulder say, “WWID”?

    Fo’ shizzle!

  165. 165.

    Nellcote

    December 13, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    I want to see a billboard that says

    You better not pout
    –Santa Claus

  166. 166.

    Origuy

    December 13, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Has there been any butthurt about the fact that Hollywood isn’t coming out with a Christmas-themed movie this year? It couldn’t be because the last few have bombed, no one goes to them after New Year’s Day, and the DVDs don’t come out until the next season, it has to be because Hollywood is run by Jooz and atheists!

  167. 167.

    marcel

    December 13, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    I’m a Jew, my wife not. Her family always joked that Xmas was a Jewish plot to redistribute the wealth (from the goyim to us)!

  168. 168.

    frosty

    December 13, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    @Ross Hershberger: FTW! You win the thread! Brilliant, just brilliant.

  169. 169.

    frosty

    December 13, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    @Xenos: Robert E. Lee’s estate, to boot. I believe the sentiment was: “Let him come home and look from his front porch for the rest of his life at all the boys he killed.”

  170. 170.

    Nancy Irving

    December 14, 2010 at 2:48 am

    Other than “Happy Holidays,” the American Family Association is okay with Victoria’s Secret?

    Hoocoodanode?

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