I don’t even know what to make of this:
It’s a little tough to excerpt, but Media Matters flagged this gem, which helped capture Beck’s vision: “I believe that I can make a case in the end that there are three powers that you will see really emerge. One, a Muslim caliphate that controls the Mideast and parts of Europe. Two, China, that will control Asia, the southern half of Africa, part of the Middle East, Australia, maybe New Zealand, and God only knows what else. And Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands. I’m not really sure. But their strong arm is coming. That leaves us and South America. What happens to us?”
The poor folks who watch Beck and actually listen to him received quite an education yesterday. China will seize New Zealand; Turkey is a dictatorship; Hamas will take over Saudi Arabia; and there’s some kind of connection linking uprisings in Tunisia and Egypt with debt crises in Greece.
All of this, of course, is the fault of “Marxist communists” — as opposed to, say, Marxists and communists — Muslims, and progressives. Indeed, Beck insisted that the events only he can see are “coordinated.”
What is New Zealand cuisine like? Will there be some nice fusion Chinese/New Zealand dishes that might come out of this?
(via)
lamh32
Ahhh the stupid, it burns!!!
I’m not sure what scarier, that fool Beck, or the fools who listen to him and watches his show (of which I know a few white co-workers who admit to it) and believes the bull. As a scientist myself, I can’t believe that anyone I work with would fall for Beck’s hustler shtick. They should be smarter than average
SP
He thinks armies really are just little Is, IIIs, Vs and Xs too.
Violet
I’m more interested in the Dutch/Russian food combo. Why is the Netherlands on the Russian list? What about Finland and Sweden?
Maude
Is he trying to compete with Revelations?
The food: lamb kabobs over fried rice.
jeffreyw
Mmm…Szechuan Mutton
soonergrunt
I should imagine that it’s just like the cuisine in every majority-white Commonwealth and recent-former Commonwealth country.
Meat and offal boiled until it can be drank from a cup.
dmsilev
Plus Luxembourg, Ecuador, and Papua New Guinea.
dms
policomic
Kung pao kiwi.
soonergrunt
@SP: WIN!
Risk, LOL.
Steve
No no no! Southern Africa and Australia belong to Oceania! And Most of Europe is under Eurasia. Can’t this guy even plagiarize ideas accurately?
cleek
@lamh32:
Beck’s no fool. he’s a charlatan and a shill, but he’s no fool.
dmsilev
@Violet:
Gouda-flavored borsch.
dms
lamh32
@cleek:
ur right, he’s no fool, but I didn’t in the sense of being a “stupid” fool, more like a court jester, who’s job it is to act a fool, but who is smarter than we think.
I think Beck is a smart jester.
BR
This is true in a very roundabout sort of way. That is, Europe’s banks are more heavily invested in North Africa than any other banks, and they’re going to be taking losses on their investments at a time when they’re already in trouble with Greece and the PIIGS more generally.
Tim F.
For the most part New Zealand cuisine is like English but more lamb and less awesome breakfasts. They do rock the world when it comes to mussels.
scav
Hash favored vodka.
Chris
The man is a fucking idiot to end all fucking idiots.
If Iraq showed you anything at all, it should be that unifying the entire Muslim world, even if you limit yourself to the Muslim-majority countries, under one political or religious authority is impossible. The Shi’a couldn’t do it and the overwhelming Sunni majority, which is far less structured (think Catholics vs Protestants, it’s not a perfect analogy but you get the idea) won’t be able to either. As for the notion that that Caliphate could somehow spread to Europe, it’s bloody fucking lunacy.
And this guy is somehow the most popular pundit on the right, and millions of people listen to his notion of a future “Islamic Caliphate” and take it as an actual fact of international relations. Christ.
schrodinger's cat
What happens to India, in this scheme of things? Does it rollover and play dead for China or does it become a part of the Caliphate.
BTW who believes this nonsense? Why is this crazy person on TV?
MonkeyBoy
Basically white people food tending to be more British than American.
They do do some strange things with hamburger sandwiches – like like putting slices of beet or pineapple in them.
lamh32
I know I’m gonna get a lot of SATSQ, but Bibi makes demands of the world…really? So all nations across the world should make sure that Israel needs are met before your own. Um, I’m sure the people of Egypt could give a rats ass about israel right about now.
cnnbrk
CNN Breaking News
Punchy
But does Irkutsk get Kamchatka or Yakutsk?
donr
Kung Pao Hobbit!
HeartlandLiberal
Before switching into computer technology as a career around 1981, I had taught in public schools for four years.
Already at that point I coined a term to describe what I was running up against in my students:
“Militant Ignorance”
I think the logical outcome of that trend is what we see around us. The triumph of the anti-intellectual and know-nothing threads of American history, in our very own times.
What else to think when you realize that apparently a good quarter or MORE of Americans are capable of watching Faux Noise Nutwork, and worst yet, Glen Beck, and they seriously think they are fully and well informed about the world around them.
It is really to the point it is seriously not funny, it is downright frightening.
The human race is never more than a thin patina of civilization away from being capable of committing the most horrible acts of violence against members of its own species. I think that is my biggest fear, that the horrid ignorance and vitriolic hatred and prejudice and fear being literally TAUGHT by voices such as Beck and Rush LimpBaugh are motivating and leading too many people towards acts of unspeakable evil against others.
We have already seen the plenty of violence from the Right, culminating in Arizona. I have no doubt we will see more.
Caravelle
The most hilarious part to me is how Russia will have the former Soviet bloc, plus “maybe” the Netherlands. How about the rest of Western Europe ? If we’re self-evidently part of Russia, why are the Netherlands a “maybe” ? I assumed he was putting the NATO countries with the US but when he came to that part we weren’t mentioned either.
But more to the point, the ONLY reason one would associate the Netherlands with Russia in one’s mind is if one’s totally bought the liberal=communist nonsense, and the Netherlands are liberal, therefore they’re Russia’s natural allies. Or something.
If that’s the case I’m disappointed they didn’t mention France.
Notice also how while China takes over the whole Eastern Pacific hemisphere, and Russia takes over the Netherlands (maybe!) he blithely puts South America with the US. He seems to forget the history many South American countries have with communism. Not Netherlands-like liberalism, mind, although they have that too, honest-to-goodness Russian-missile-harboring communism.
The cluelessness about US history blows my mind. And come to think of it, there’s no reason it should. It isn’t an argument of any kind it’s dogwhistle soup. Gah.
Hobelhouse
WoooooOOOOooo, Marxist Communists! You know, as opposed to all those other, non-Marxist Communists.
El Cid
Same as the weird apocalyptic scenarios by hardline militia maniacs and Talibangelical doomists, believed by many of them and used in either case to frighten the audience, portray the distributors of this nonsense as possessing far-reaching, super-brilliant, ultra-secret information and insights surpassing that of the Illuminati or similar conspirators.
It helps establish cult identification, and encourages the purchase of whatever survival oriented products are being hawked. In the 1990s, besides gold it was “colloidal silver” (to kill all the bad stuff inside you because silver in a petri dish kills germs), survival food, resistance manuals, and weapon-related accessories. (Firearms purchases are local, so, not much paid advertising or self-marketing of those.)
Christianist paranoids describe similar scenarios with a Biblical basis. The conspirators working against Christianist America range from all the typical enemies to publishers of alternate translations of the Bible.
It might be just as good, or better, to have a rabid and dependent smaller following than a wider, entertainment-oriented following.
soonergrunt
@MonkeyBoy: The pineapple wouldn’t be bad. Even better to put diced pineapple into the meat to make hamburger patties. That would be great with a tempura-based sauce.
Beets? Bleah.
Hawes
I was going to leave a snarky Sino-Kiwi recipe, but after Kung Pao Hobbit, you might as well close this thread.
me
Eurasia, Eastasia and Oceania.
arguingwithsignposts
Anthony Bourdain did a show on New Zealand in Series 1 of “No Reservations.” It’s available on Netflix Instant. Some good looking food.
Zach
If we presuppose that China is going to seize its way to empire (as opposed to supporting revolutions or whatever), New Zealand is a pretty good target. Resource rich, basically no defense capability, and a population wealthy enough to quickly flee to other English-speaking nations. Furthermore, the Australian continent can easily be captured on the first move and has only one border to defend.
Of course, seizing New Zealand would immediately result in nuclear war with every Western power so maybe it’s not a great idea.
I’m a little worried about what Beck means by “in the end.”
gogol's wife
Only on this blog could you find a thread like this. Great distraction from freezing rain.
p.a.
@Violet:
agreed, wtf?! Union of Soviet Socialist Reijkspublics? maybe in Beck’s squirrel-in-a-busy-street style brain gymnastics it has something to do with legalized drugs, in which case the Portuguese better start brushing up on their Rooski also.
JPL
After listening and watching the video, I admit that I know less than I did before. Do I now have Fox Geezer syndrome and can it be cured by a heavy infusion of alcohol?
arguingwithsignposts
Realizing that’s a huge presupposition, but just WTF would China want to get any bigger than it already is? Just curious.
asiangrrlMN
@policomic: EW! That’s just wrong!
Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid.
Beck would be hilarious if so many people didn’t believe his fucking shit.
matoko_chan
the reason old white xian people believe in Beck is because they are afraid.
Fear and clueless evangelism is also the basis of American foreign policy and economics and social compacts.
I know fear is how homo sap. survived in the EEA, but if i could have one wish for mankind, it would be to be to defeat Fear with Courage.
Like the poet said…..
Caravelle
Oh wait, I got it : Western Europe will be part of the Muslim Caliphate. Which, put like that, sounds stupid but it’s certainly a fear that exists in the crazier sections of Western Europe so why not.
But even then, the Netherlands would be at the forefront of that assimilation, srsly. As far as I know they’re as “help the Muslims are overrunning us” as the UK and France are. Why oh why are the Netherlands with Russia ?????????
Chyron HR
@gogol’s wife:
YouA Writer at Balloon Juice might say we’re laughing in the frozen rain.Gin & Tonic
@arguingwithsignposts: Indeed. New Zealand has a vibrant and interesting food scene, with lots of emphasis on local ingredients. Yes, that includes lamb, of course, but there is a lot of seafood, including the above-mentioned mussels, plus absolutely outstanding oysters. You can eat as well in the cities there as you can in any major “foodie” city anywhere. The old canards about Brit food, boiled for long enough that it can be eaten by guests who forgot to bring their teeth, are foolish and misguided.
GregB
I am surprised that Beck forgot that Woody Allen will take over San Marcos and will turn all of South America into a nebbishy dictatorship. The march on Harlingen will commence post haste.
I think Beck’s drug pocked brain is starting to give out. He’s wrapping his apocalyptic Mormonism with his jingoistic patriotism and he’s become more Colbert than Colbert.
Keep him away from rifles and clock towers.
trollhattan
Whatever combination of drugs and alcohol Beck was on during his formative years has turned his brain into a porous lump of mill waste. He and Rush certainly have that in common, but who knew it was a smart career strategy?
OT: Boxer’s going after Ensign!
http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2011/02/boxer-overseeing-investigation.html
Zach
@Gin & Tonic: “Indeed. New Zealand has a vibrant and interesting food scene.”
Including a Frank-Zappa-themed pizza place.
Caravelle
Zach :
And if you’re China the whole of Oceania is an easy extra 2 units per turn. That one’s a no-brainer, especially given Russia is busy on its European front.
KG
One of the Sullivan Borg posted a video of Beck’s tutorial on what’s happening. It was about 12 minutes long, I made it to about minute 7, when Europe was on fire, then my brain started melting out of my ears. So I turned it off, for my health.
Shock Trooper in the War on Christmas
@Gin & Tonic:
I visited NZ in 2003/4. The food can be great in cities like Auckland, Wellington, and Christchurch.
Nonetheless, the boiled meat & offal kitchen was still alive and kicking.
I remember one particular lamb sandwich with mint sauce in particular: the meat was light GREY.
Not good. Not good, AT ALL.
LGRooney
@Chris: Yes, a few days ago on the local radio news program, Cal Thomas was regurgitating this same stuff (either that or he said it first and Beck is plagiarizing one of the senior idiots).
Suffern ACE
@arguingwithsignposts:
China wants all the jobs in the world to be in China. It does not want to have to deal with finding jobs for people in Thailand or the Philippines.
Bulworth
This part at least seems pretty valid.
daverave
@arguingwithsignposts:
Win The Future would China want to get any bigger? I think you answered your own question there.
Bulworth
We have a pretty substantial pile of nukes.
Also, to, we have The 700 Club.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
Am I the only one who thinks Beck is stupid? I mean stupid all way to the bank, in that he’s clever enough to get rich by frightening already frightened old people. But I don’t get the sense of any real native intelligence there. Dry drunk greed and cunning, yes, but no real smarts.
Gin & Tonic
@Shock Trooper in the War on Christmas: I last visited the South Island about a year and a half ago, and ate well everywhere I went. The wine scene, in particular, is outstanding.
Chris
@HeartlandLiberal:
Not anti-intellectualism, anti-professionalism. When the facts of life are unpleasant to them, Fox News manufactured alternate “facts” which fit what people want to hear, and they believe those facts instead. It’s self-delusion on a national scale. Same thing brought down the Soviet Union.
Which is why in so many professions, you’ve seen the rise of a politicized class of “experts” (another staple of totalitarian regimes) that produce the “analysis” conservatives want.
Generals say you’ll need far more troops than you’ve got to occupy Iraq? Intelligence agencies are saying there are no WMDs in Iraq? Media’s reporting the bad news from Iraq? Scientists are proving evolution’s real? No problem! 1) Blast them 24/7 via the NewsCorp machine and its hundreds of smaller imitators as traitors, unpatriots, elitists and whatever else you want. 2) Bring out your own “experts” who have their own set of “data” and “conclusions” that happily happens to fit yours. 3) Most of the professionals get the message and either fall in line or can be dismissed as cranks and pushed aside by the new “consensus.”
The cycle’s been going on for years already, and it seems all set to keep going until we’ve been lying to ourselves for so long, we won’t be able to fix ourselves even if we wanted to.
Suffern ACE
@Caravelle:
Historical reasons I guess. Being flat and overrun by Germans a few times have given both places a natural affinity.
sven
I guess that I haven’t been watching enough Glenn Beck recently. Kevin Drum posted a 10 minute segment from last night’s show and it was insanity.
We hear a lot of snark about conservatives talking ‘nonsense’ but this really sounds like the ravings of a lunatic. I just can’t understand how millions of Americans can take this at face value.
joeyess
You know…….. PO TATE TOES!!
Chris
@Suffern ACE:
In other words, like most conservatives, he doesn’t know anything about history unless it’s somehow connected to war. The Netherlands fell to the Germans, therefore they must be easily conquerable, therefore the Russians can take them over. Or something.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
@sven:
I think it reinforces their free floating fear because the world has changed in ways they don’t understand, which scares them. And he looks like a regular normal white guy. Looks like being the operative phrase. I tried watching the clip Drum had and had to quit after the Weather Underground involved in a flotilla from Turkey reference – it made my head hurt. And it seemed too psychotic to continue with.
Ash Can
So what’s doing this to Beck’s brain? Drugs? Syphilis? Mad cow disease?
Jay C
@JPL:
1. Since you can still admit to “knowing less”, you’re safe: don’t worry.
2. FGS: No. See #1
3. Alcohol? Still recommended, regardless….
Redshift
@Chris:
It’s an article of faith among wingnuts that Europe is being taken over by Muslims because they let them immigrate there, and we don’t keep them out, the same thing will happen here.
It doesn’t make any sense, it’s not supported by any evidence, but they’re not really concerned with such things.
Tsulagi
He’s becoming a prophet. The angel Moron is now speaking more directly through him.
catclub
No one has mentioned that Hugo Chavez already owns South America as a vassal to Fidel.
Don’t tell the 100 million Brazilians.
sacman701
Guys, the solution is simple. If we move all our armies into Alaska, Greenland, and Brazil we can hold North America and South America indefinitely. That’s 5 armies a turn for North America and 2 armies a turn for South America. WIN.
toujoursdan
I lived in New Zealand for 4 years in the 1990s. Great food. I miss the canteen meat pies.
But I don’t understand why China would want to take over New Zealand anyway. They already signed a free trade deal and Chinese students come over to New Zealand to study in the universities, which are far cheaper than in other developed countries but have a good reputation internationally.
Taking over countries by force is so 20th Century. Nowadays, you can just undercut your competitors and get all the benefits of exploiting a country without the drawbacks of having to govern (and suppress) its population.
lacp
This is fascinating – Beck is writing the new Texas school standards RIGHT ON YOUR TEEVEE!
scav
Russia-The Netherlands: was that the desperate dying flicker of a free-water-port neuron?
Origuy
What happens to us? Why, the Russians and Cubans invade Colorado from Mexico, of course! WOLVERINES!
jrosen
Did he really say — the old USSR plus…the NETHERLANDS?
How does the ghost of Stalin leap over Poland, Czech REpublic, Germany and wind up in control of….the NETHERLANDS?
Please find out what shit Beck is smoking so I can avoid it.
kindness
On the plus side when this apocolyptic world comes….we won’t have Glenn Beck or Rush to disturb us any more. They will all go Galt and I for one will be at the dock waving good by & good riddance to them.
kindness
@jrosen: They want the coffee shops.
Another Commenter at Balloon Juice (fka Bella Q)
Help. My head is going to explode. I just agreed with something written by Conor Friedersdorf. On this very topic. At Sully’s place, where Conor’s been spewing nonsense. But, well, you can read it yourselves, if you want to.
Mowgli
@joeyess:
This, and the Kung Pao Hobbit line, have officially made my day.
I think I’ll have a brace of coneys for dinner tonight.
Tony J
@Caravelle:
Dog-whistling. Climate Change will probably drown most of the Netherlands under the North Sea. Ergo – if Climate Change is a fraud, which they all know it is, then it’s up for grabs in this scenario, and Red Russia is closest.
New Yorker
Somehow I managed to watch the entire thing without my brains leaking out my ears. At least Beck’s understanding of the outbreak of World War I is correct, even if nothing else he rants about is even close to being real.
Also too:
How soon before Roger Ailes hires the Ecumenical Liberation Army to assassinate Beck on live TV?
p.a.
Beck is so full of it. China will never get southern Africa; Sauron’s emissaries have that area locked up for the Dark Lord.
Chris
@Redshift:
We can add that to the long, long, loooong list of things that wingnuts get wrong about Europe.
Although oddly enough, it’s also an article of faith among far right parties in Europe like the FN in France, the BNP in Britain or the BZO in Austria. Weird that once again, American conservatives seem to be drinking the same kool aid as European fascists, eh?
Of course not, it’s just the latest of many, many, many conspiracy theories masquerading as mainstream. What always weirds me out is the way those theories just fade into the background when they turn out to be false, and no one ever thinks about them again.
E.G, shouldn’t there be at least one seventy-year-old wingnut in the whole country who woke up this morning and went “waitaminnit. Wasn’t the Civil Rights Act supposed to enslave white people? Wasn’t this guy Truman that we’re always praising a communist agent who lost China? And how come the Catholics are on our side, when I was growing up they were plotting to overthrow our government?”
Jeffro
@SP: Oh yeah, RISK, totally! Did he recommend that we try to hold off the caliphate at Iceland and Brazil??
Persia
General Tso’s chicken will now be made with Vegemite.
(Yes, Vegemite’s Australian. General Tso’s isn’t really Chinese, so.)
Gatsby
Who will control Belgium (I’m of Belgian extraction)and Luxemburg?
toujoursdan
The ultimate New Zealand dessert is the Pav (short for Pavlova), which is very tasty.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlova_%28food%29
If you really want a peak into New Zealand cuisine Google “Masterchef New Zealand torrent” and download Season 1. There were some very tasty local dishes presented on that show.
Gatsby
OMG! I am now convinced that Glenn Beck is on some powerful drug(s).
drunken hausfrau
Clearly, even I could kick Beck’s ass at Risk — moron has no concept of geopolitical domination!
Oh, and I love some New Zealand lambchops with black bean sauce…. mmm. We get frozen New Zealand lamb here in the grocery store.
Cain
@schrodinger’s cat:
I was thinking the same thing.. clearly, Glenn Beck doesn’t haev any role for India at all. I think India is the country where all good jobs go to die, so basically, when the caliphate and chinese empires begin, they’ll just be sending their IT jobs there and create a gigantic global telecom caliphate.
cain
Stefan
And Russia, which will control all of the old former Soviet Union bloc, plus maybe the Netherlands.
That “plus maybe the Netherlands” is just genius.
Violet
@lamh32:
I don’t think he’s smart in the book smart kind of way. I do think he’s cunning.
Sad_Dem
Whether it was Kung Pao Hobbit or lamb pizza, I don’t really care what the caliph ate.
Stefan
Same as the weird apocalyptic scenarios by hardline militia maniacs and Talibangelical doomists, believed by many of them and used in either case to frighten the audience, portray the distributors of this nonsense as possessing far-reaching, super-brilliant, ultra-secret information and insights surpassing that of the Illuminati or similar conspirators. It helps establish cult identification, and encourages the purchase of whatever survival oriented products are being hawked. In the 1990s, besides gold it was “colloidal silver” (to kill all the bad stuff inside you because silver in a petri dish kills germs), survival food, resistance manuals, and weapon-related accessories. (Firearms purchases are local, so, not much paid advertising or self-marketing of those.)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s a mint to be made from these morons.
David Brooks (not that one)
Here is all you need to know about New Zealand cuisine.
The kiwiburger.
No, it’s not made of kiwi meat (tastes like chicken!) or kiwi fruit. It’s a hamburger with the addition of an egg and a slice of beetroot. It tastes as disgusting as that sounds. Apart from that, it’s all British food.
Here ends all you need to know about New Zealand cuisine.
(speaking as a Brit, with a brother living in Enzed).
chopper
so this is what you start believing after smoking a bag of meth and watching ‘red dawn’.
chopper
@David Brooks (not that one):
that actually sounds pretty good. an egg on a hamburger is fuckin’ delicious. and beets are tasty.
Xenos
@Hobelhouse:
As far as I understand it, Liberal Fascists are Soshalists, and Soshalists are Communists, but the Fascists are not Marxist. Or maybe they are. Think of it as belt-and-suspenders dialectics.
O
Hob
The part that really worries me is that Beck’s “not sure” about the Netherlands. I mean, that guy is sure about all kinds of shit that I can’t figure out at all. Anything he’s not sure about must be pretty freaking ominously mysterious.
El Cid
@toujoursdan: I liked it, but I got spoiled with Masterchef Australia, and maybe even more so with Junior Masterchef Australia.
Ellen
Just waking up in New Zealand. Seriously, the cuisine here could use some improvement. As someone said, this is a British colony and the British have spent centuries getting all the taste out of food. When ordering in the States, I have to specify mild out of consideration for my digestion. When here, I have to specify spicy in order to get some taste.
Yep, hamburgers here come with egg and a slice of beet. Not that I eat them. We rarely eat out, but then that is also the habit down here. We socialize with friends in our homes, much like my family did when I was growing up in Kansas in the 50’s.
vheidi
@Tsulagi:
FTW!
Rupert
I don’t know if I’m the only Balloon Juice reader in New Zealand, but I appear to be the first to de-lurk on this thread.
@chopper is right and @David Brooks is wrong. A good kiwiburger: egg (fried but still runny), cheese, beetroot and sweet thai chilli sauce is a culinary delight.
As to the rest of the chinese takeover – it’s already happening. Auckland is not New Zealand, but there are more Chinese here than Maori. We have Chinese investment companies trying to buy some of our largest dairy farms. We send them milk, and they send backhuge amounts of cheap plastic crap that even Walmart wouldn’t stock.
There was a letter in the New Zealand Herald a few years ago from someone still angry that only non-nuclear US warships are allowed to dock here (since the US Navy doesn’t confirm or deny whether particular vessels are nuclear powered and/or armed, that means none of them). He had some Beckesque scenario of oil being discovered off the east coast (why this is different from the oil already being produced off the west coast I don’t know), and the poor Royal NZ Navy being powerless to protect the oil fields and the USA being disinclined to help against the Chinese.
He didn’t get his own TV show.
Andre
You people.
New Zealand food is fine, if you go to the right places. In the provinces, it’s Ye Olde Englande, only with more starch. In the cities, however, you’re looking at fantastic food that blends European traditions with access to very fresh local ingredients (seriously, Auckland has two harbours, and fresh seafood is everywhere, not to mention the farmland immediately north and south) and a moderate Asian influence. Chinese-New Zealand food already exists, it’s called “Pacific Fusion” food, and it still pops up from time to time all over the show.
The burgers we have here (if you discount McDonalds and Burger King, as you should) are best represented by Burgerfuel, a local gourmet burger chain. (Example: “The Ford Freakout”, 1/3 lb of beef, avocado, aioli, tomato relish, lettuce, tomato, onion…)
As for pizza, there’s Hell Pizza, which is equally “gourmet” (and has a branding strategy that’d never work in the US.)
Locally, my personal favourite will always be Manuka though-top notch food, including an absolutely magical tempura battered squid with salad. Doesn’t get any better.
Auckland, in particular, is incredibly cosmopolitan. It’s the city with the largest Polynesian population in the world, as well as high numbers of Asian and Indian/Pakistani immigrants. It’s about as “English” as Christian Bale at this point.
More generally though, it’s interesting to see Beck completely misunderstand the geography of the region. There would be zero strategic sense in China occupying New Zealand, whether for a strike at Australia or otherwise. We’re southeast of Australia, and separated by a significant distance. If we’re going to entertain the idea that China would actually try to attack Australia, they’d be better off striking a deal with Indonesia (you know, most populous, highly militarised country in SE Asia, etc etc) Right wing Australian fantasists have often whipped themselves up into a lather over the idea of Indonesia invading Australia themselves. At least that theory has the benefit of being remotely physically possible, even if it’s political nonsense.
Delia
@Tony J:
OTOH, if Climate Change does get around to drowning the Netherlands, Russia will probably get its dream of a warm water port without even trying, as St. Petersburg will heat up and they’ll come straight across the pole to take Alaska back.
Katie5
@donr: pavlova gu gai pan
Chris
@David Brooks (not that one): Actually, that’s an Aussie burger. EnZedd imports a lot from Oz, including people and cuisine, though.
Chris
@Andre: Wellington has great food too. You can get really good stuff pretty much anywhere, of course: it’s just a matter of finding the right restaurants (or your own food suppliers).
Ash Can
@Andre: LOL @ that Hell Pizza site! That’s great!
Zach
@Andre:
I’ve been to a rib place in the States that’s similarly branded. In Philly I think? Anyway the ribs sucked, sexy devil branding or not.
Annamal
Seconding Chris on great food in Wellington.
The boast is that there’s more eateries per capita in Wellington than there are in New York.
Bit of an empty boast but there are some really fantastic places down here. There’s a huge number of good cheap Malaysian and Indian places as well the ever-present donor kebabs. There’s also places like Logan Brown’s and the Yacht club for fine dining.
The one thing New Zealand really does shine at (aside from the whole fresh seafood/grass grazing livestock thing) is coffee. Starbucks arrived in New Zealand *after* a coffee culture had developed in the major centres and is currently in the process of giving up because it just can’t compete.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Andre:
Andre’s comments are spot on. Wellington also has a range of excellent food – I prefer to go down to the farmers’ markets each sunday, buy fish fresh off the boat (tarakehi, warehou, and use fresh vegetables. These include a goodly range of Asian veges – and, of course, a huge range of fresh fruit from the Pacific is widely available.
Cuisine is constantly blending influences – http://www.wellingtonnz.com/bars_restaurants will give you the sort of idea.
China has little interest in expanding territory for its own sake – its interest are in areas with historical ties, and in protecting access to resources. NZ is complementary to China’s economy – we are already moving closer economically, and it makes no strategic, economic, or logistical sense to try taking us over.
What would threaten us would be an aggressive military power with air-craft carriers and experience of amphibious invasion. There’s only one real candidate for that…
Andre
@Phoenician in a time of Romans:
Bloody Australia. As if stealing Crowded House wasn’t enough, now they’re planning to invade.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Andre:
And they advertise it too…
Blue Carolinian
So….the French then?
I find it funny that from what Ican observe the Australia-NZ relationship is so close to the one betweeb the US and Canada, right down to arrogance on one side and an inferiority conplex on the other, and both engaging in the narcissism of minor differences (exception made for French Canadians, though.)
Bill Murray
and here I thought the height of New Zealand food was a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.
Blue Carolinian
So….the French then?
I find it funny that from what Ican observe the Australia-NZ relationship is so close to the one betweeb the US and Canada, right down to arrogance on one side and an inferiority conplex on the other, and both engaging in the narcissism of minor differences (exception made for French Canadians, though. )
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Bill Murray:
Riiiiiigght.
—
Entree
Pheasant & Wild Boar Terrine with Cornichons, Cognac Mustard & Watercress
Sauvignon Vine Smoked King Salmon with Horseradish Panna Cotta & Crayfish
Spinach & Tomato Agnalotti with Roast Tomato Consomme, Basil & Parmesan
Golden Bay Scallops with Corn, Waikanae Crab Risotto & Beechwood Honey Dew
Firstlight Wagyu Skirt Steak with Pulled Pork Wonton, Radicchio & Chilli Jam
Pan Roasted Groper Throats with Kerala Curry, Onion Bhaji & Green Bean Sambal
Main Course
Line-Caught Snapper with Calamari, Zucchini Flower & Pickled Cucumber
Rangitikei Lamb Rack with Rabbit Bolognese, Pumpkin Polenta & Gremolata
Crisp Duck Breast with Duck & Prawn Steamed Bun, Preserved Eggplant & Hoisin Jus
Twice Baked Spanish Onion Souffle with Fetta Terrine, Beetroot & Grilled Corn
Canterbury Venison Chops with Chickpea Mash, Black Pudding & Sour Cherry Relish
Grass-Fed Beef Fillet with BBQ Rib Rosti, Mushroom Caponata & Bearnaise
or
250gm Grain-Fed Beef Fillet
Side Dishes
Truffled Fries with Reggiano Parmesan
Wagyu Fat Potatoes with Habanero Mayonnaise
Seasonal Vegetables
Oven Roasted Portabella Mushrooms
Mixed Leaf Salad
Desserts
Peach Melba: Peach, Raspberry & Vanilla
Limoncello Baba with Summer Berries & ‘Lot 8’ Olive Oil Ice Cream
Chocolate & Salt Caramel Tart with Buttermilk Parfait & Candied Macadamias
Lime & Ginger Brulee with Sour Lemonade Sorbet & Pumpkin Pie Wafers
Treats from Nana’s Cake Tin
Handmade Chocolate Truffle
—–
(Logan Brown menu)
(Have fun storming the castle, boys)
Viva BrisVegas
@Blue Carolinian:
Such international relationships are one of the universal constants:
Australia/New Zealand
US/Canada
France/Belgium
Germany/Austria
England/Ireland
Japan/Korea
Sweden/Norway
Russia/Poland
Anywhere/Poland
Andre
@Viva BrisVegas:
I’m glad you didn’t forget Poland.
BruceFromOhio
Mmmm, hunan sheep dung, extra hot, to go, please?
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Blue Carolinian:
Not quite. What people don’t pick up on is that exaggerated hatred of Australians is a socially acceptable form of indulgence in prejudice in NZ precisely because it is so meaningless. We get to wallow in gestures of hatred because, when it comes down to it, there’s nothing major seperating us.
I do it myself, but my father and my mother have both immigrated and been assimilated by the great trans-Tasman menace, and my best friend originally hailed from there. at one stage, I was contemplating immigrating myself (less likely now with the flooding).
It’s more like an exaggerated sport or school rivalry than anything else. It’s only serious taken at face value.
Blue Carolinian
Like I said, reminds me of Canada-US on a smaller scale (full disclosure: my husband is Canadian.)
Blue Carolinian
Oh, do you export your political pundits to Australia to comment on Australian politics? That would make the parallel complete. It is a cottage industry for Canada, from David Frum on the right to Naomi Klein on the left!
DougW
Kung Pao Kanga…
Annamal
Blue Carolinian not exactly, but one of Australia’s favourite political comedians used to be an iconic New Zealand comedian.
John Clarke (who is perhaps best known in the rest of the world for “the front fell off” sketch) is amazing.
Mike G
@Phoenician in a time of Romans:
What people don’t pick up on is that exaggerated hatred of Australians is a socially acceptable form of indulgence in prejudice in NZ precisely because it is so meaningless.
Ask a Kiwi sometime about “underarm bowling”. This refers to a legal-but-unsportsmanlike move by the Australian cricket team in a match 30 years ago — that still triggers burning outrage in NZ!