Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Cole is on a roll !

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

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Reader Interactions

66Comments

  2. 2.

    cyntax

    Can she call for help if there’s some kind of Cole-carpet-cleaning accident, or is the degree of difficulty here noticeably lower than compared to mopping?

  4. 4.

    TenguPhule

    She’s holding down the fort while I clean the carpets.

    I’m sorry, I thought that was the fort.

  5. 5.

    El Tiburon

    She’s holding down the fort while I clean the carpets.

    Or, as the cats call it in my home: “Time to throw-up hairballs and barely digested food Pallooza”

    My home is 90% wood floors, but the cats manage to make their mess right in the middle of the carpet directly in the line of traffic from the front door.

    My guess is if I replaced that carpet with wood, they would venture up and do it all on top of my comforter on the bed.

    So in that respect, I guess I am winning.

  6. 6.

    Brachiator

    She’s holding down the fort while I clean the carpets

    Such a cool little doggy.

  9. 9.

    R-Jud

    @El Tiburon:

    My guess is if I replaced that carpet with wood, they would venture up and do it all on top of my comforter on the bed.

    From personal experience, they will do it on your freshly laundered white towels.

  10. 10.

    Violet

    Lily! So cute! What a good doggie. It always warms my heart to see pictures of her. You both lucked out, big time.

  13. 13.

    slag

    @moe99: That’s because freedom’s just another word for not getting to visit your loved ones in the hospital.

    Apparently, freedom has a wide variety of definitions in the wingnut mind.

  16. 16.

    Linda Featheringill

    @moe99:

    I understand the Gov. of WI wants to deny same sex couples hospital visitation rights. What. A. Dick.

    I saw that. Right-wing social engineering.

    Dunno about Wisconsin but in Ohio the hospitals started several years ago encouraging people to list “significant others” to placed on the visitor list. These could include friends, etc.

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    Duh article of the day (or why do you think they call it Facebook?). From the LA Times

    Women who post lots of photos of themselves on Facebook value appearance, need attention, study finds

    I guess the Times needed to rest on its laurels for a bit after their Governor Arnold love child scoop.

  20. 20.

    slag

    @Linda Featheringill: I was skeptical about that whole Rapture prediction, but now I’m not so sure. Today, one of my Google News Alerts, usually an epic trove of rightwing mania, featured several serious–and even liberal!–news sources. I’m pretty sure that’s one of the seven signs. Truly, I don’t know what to make of it.

    This post by the one and only ellaesther was even in the blog section of today’s alert.

    Ellaesther-? Are you around? If so, tell us how you got Google to recognize your existence. Show Balloon Juice and others how it’s done.

  24. 24.

    WaterGirl

    I have a friend who has had her own Cole/Rosie situation going on for months. The dog is not a good fit, disrupting the household, attacking the old dog, adding stress to an already stressful life (husband passed away 6 months ago).

    I have been telling her about John and Rosie, and all the months John has been wanting to find Rosie a home, telling her that it’s okay to take the dog back to the rescue if it’s not a good fit. On monday she gave the dog back to the rescue and she feels kind of sad, but feels a huge sense of relief.

    So John, even though things have been tough with Rosie, hearing about your experience helped my friend. A lot. Thanks for that.

  25. 25.

    jl

    Yeah, Lily is cute and all, but that dang dog has my dream job!

    Except if that dream job were in Cole’s house, him wandering around the place constantly would wear on me something fierce. I would have to find another house.

    BTW, is that not Tunch’s old perch? Where is Tunch? Or do they do alternate watches?

  26. 26.

    WereBear

    @WaterGirl: Sad to hear about your friend, but it’s no one’s fault if the dog is not a good fit.

    I always think of it as turned on its head; now the dog has a chance to find a home that truly fits them.

    And your friend, when she wishes, has room for another.

  29. 29.

    lamh34

    ‘Put a woman in charge’
    New DNC chief gives Obama hope

    How about my new DNC chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz,” Obama said, to applause, at the second of two Democratic National Committee events Monday night. “She is tireless, tireless. And she’s got the most adorable kids, and I don’t know how she keeps up with everything.”

    Obama then added this anecdote: “But as Michelle said, if you want something done, put a woman in charge. So, all right, everybody got – women, you got a little too excited on that.”

  30. 30.

    FlipYrWhig

    Saw on Facebook that tonight’s Daily Show guest is Annie Jacobsen. That’s the same name as that woman who saw some Muslim guys with a McDonald’s bag on a plane a few years ago and became convinced it was a “dry run” for terrorism. Is it that woman? Does anyone know?

  33. 33.

    Alex S.

    @lamh34:

    Sadly, Tim Kaine was pretty much a failure. But Wasserman Schultz has got talent. It’s a good pick, in my opinion. Kaine just needed a job until his next campaign.

  34. 34.

    WaterGirl

    @slag: Thanks for posting this link! I sent my email and tried to make the requested phone call, and I would encourage everyone to read the post and do the same.

    Edit:

    @jeffreyw: That’s twice today, and it’s not fair. I’m just a hop, skip and a jump away in Champaign. I’m sure if you pack it up nicely you can have it here in time for a late dinner.

  37. 37.

    stuckinred

    @WaterGirl: Down here we’re having sauteed sweet taters, kale and collards, grilled chicken breast and spring mix salad!

  40. 40.

    Loneoak

    @FlipYrWhig:

    I’d guess it is the same person. She was on Fresh Air today talking about her new book about Area 51 (sounds pretty interesting, actually). But that Terror in the Skies story is outrageous and I hope she is mocked for it.

  43. 43.

    fasteddie9318

    BREAKING NEWS! Admitted sexual molester cheats on wife with employee! SHOCKING!

    Days like this it would be more constructive for society to replace MSNBC and CNN with fucking test patterns.

  47. 47.

    Rita R.

    Not only is doggie Lily adorable, I also love that front window. Bay? Bow? And I’m jealous of the sun outside it too. We’re having a four-day deluge in NYC.

  48. 48.

    soapdish

    She’s holding down the fort while I clean the carpets.

    Wait, you’re supposed to clean those things?

  49. 49.

    Josie

    @WaterGirl: You asked about my tomatoes in the other thread. I put out tomato plants at the end of February. I live in South Texas, so we grow tomatoes and peppers and such very early. The downside is that it gets so hot in the summer that nothing but okra and eggplant will grow and that only if you water every day.

  50. 50.

    Frankensteinbeck (The ex-Uloborus)

    That is one very small dog. Does Tunch just suck the mass out of all living things around him? We (by which I mean John) have two very small dogs, one of whom looks like she should be a retriever, and a cat the size of a whole turkey. I’m calling shenanigans.

  51. 51.

    Josie

    @jeffreyw: You just like to torment us. I finally posted a comment for you in the other thread. Here it is again.
    Jeffrey, if you’re still there, here is my picture. I hate not being able to do something, so I got out my trusty little camera and figured it out. Thanks for the inspiration.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/49146863@N03/

  52. 52.

    WaterGirl

    @Josie: Seems like everything’s a trade-off, doesn’t it? Have another tomato tonight for me. :-)

  53. 53.

    geg6

    Awwwww. The lovely Lily. Good doggie.

    But where are Rosie and Tunch? Did Tunch finally decide he’s had enough and eat her?

  54. 54.

    koalaholik

    @El Tiburon: My cats will barf 2 inches into the carpet from the tile. There is a 6 foot wide stretch of tile from the front door to the kitchen and they barf on the carpet evey time. I switching to hard wood floors so that I can laugh my ass off when they slide into walls during their psycho running through the house times. A girl’s gotta get her revenge where she can.

  57. 57.

    Comrade Luke

    Cat update, since I was talking about it last week.

    Everything checked out at the doctor, and over the last week I’ve had to give her a steroid every day as a precaution. She’s progressed from eating only dry food (which, if continued, would eventually lead to her getting diabetes) to finally eating wet food again.

    I don’t know how long it will last, but so far it looks like we’re on the path to recovery.

    Thanks for all the advice everyone. I really appreciate it.

  62. 62.

    SoINeedAName

    Do you really think everyone needs some hideous 70-ish brown sofa? Or were you referring to the ugly Disco-era gray recliner?
    Either way, I think you’re wrong!

  63. 63.

    Platonicspoof

    She’s holding down the fort while I clean the carpets.

    Also too some canine fantasizing about her special someone planting trees/message boards on her side of the street.

    Multipurpose if a flowering, evergreen tree blocked the view from the window (and from millions and millions of very concerned screens) of the stop sign.

  64. 64.

    asiangrrlMN

    Lily is simply lovely. She gives me a happy. I won’t even bother to ask where is Tunch. Oh hell, yes I will. WHERE IS TUNCH?

    @WereBear: Tristan is sooooo handsome! What a stunning boy.

    @Comrade Luke: Good to hear. Fingers crossed for continued good news.

  65. 65.

    mtraven

    I used to be able to at least follow wingnut thought processes, but it’s evolved to a point where the rules are beyond me. Like this piece that proves that Jon Stewart is a Klansman because Common is the same as D. W. Griffith, or something like that. Woodrow Wilson is involved.

  66. 66.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Martin: Remember the graffiti in England in the 60s: Clapton is God? Any engineer trying to explain complex stuff in a public meeting needs to grab a spray can and write “Tufte is God” on the nearest wall.

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