Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

“Let’s not pretend [Trump] wants to engage in high-minded discourse.”

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Motown is Joe-Town!

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

“They not like us!” (that’s for sure!)

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

The gop couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Democrats have delivered the Square Deal, the New Deal, the Fair Deal, and now… the Big Joe Biden Deal.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

Can we lighten up on the doomsday scenarios?

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

“woke” is the new caravan.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

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103Comments

  3. 3.

    goblue72

    Stuck on a drive in the grey drizzle moving from the Bay Area to Seattle. Listening to Tom Terrific smacking Tebow in the mouth on the radio is the highlight of my day.

  4. 4.

    Emdee

    Politifact would say True.

    Phil Simms: (Q3 1:30, discussing face mask penalty against Broncos): “[Broncos] Defensive Coordinator said, ‘You just can’t sit back and watch Tom Brady.’ When they do, he hits that pass almost every single time. You see, also, too, the face mask penalty.”

    On first listening, I thought it was “You see, also, too, that that the face mask penalty…” and then he trailed off, but upon replay a few times I don’t think there’s a “that” in there after all.

  9. 9.

    Raven

    Ya’ll need to watch “The Pride of St Louis” about the Ol’ Diz.

    In the film’s climax, Dean faces a local coalition of English teachers who are determined to remove him from the air for repeatedly using lower-class grammatical tropes, which they feel are a bad influence upon baseball-loving youth. In an emotional scene somewhat reminiscent of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Dean defends his sincerity and “love of the game,” and retains his honor and his job.

  10. 10.

    Citizen_X

    I thought it was going to be ugly in the first quarter. And then The Worst Defense in the League forced two (three?) turnovers in the second, and now it’s just a rout. Ha ha. Fuck you, Tebow. Looks like God hates you.

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    A-Rodg and Company deciding to take a dump during the fantasy playoff season fucked me and others I know. What a joke. All that work all season to make the playoffs and I got sodomized by a bunch of rich assholes who decided they didnt give a fuck if they went undefeated or not.

  13. 13.

    j

    I hope Johnny Knox isn’t paralyzed. Latest word is that he can move his arms and hands, but not his legs. I’m sure the ghouls on YouTube are having a yuck fest about it.

    As of NOW, Jesus is telling Saint Teebag to SHUT UP!!

  14. 14.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Tebow is about to turn Bill Belichick into the Belichick who coached the Last Celeveland Browns football team of the 90’s

  15. 15.

    Punchy

    @Citizen_X: Take it from a Bears fan….I’d hold off on the “God hates you” and “Fuck you Tebow” until the game is over. Also, see Miami fans, KC fans, Raiders fans, etc.

  17. 17.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Citizen_X: Praise Jesus! As a Steelers fan I despise everything Patriots. But I’m also quite tired of the Tebow knob polishing. So conflicted…….kind of wishing for a tie.

  18. 18.

    Raven

    @j:

    “Johnny has total movement thoughhout his body,” Smith said. “Has total use of all of his extremities, which is good. He is not paralyzed or anything like that.”

    From the Trib, He has a fractured vertebrae and, as someone who had a compression fracture T-6, I can tell you that if he is not paralyzed now his chances are very very good.

  22. 22.

    MikeJ

    @goblue72: People who have lived in Seattle a long time are called “mossbacks” and they love to look down on newcomers. “A long time”, for purposes of calling yourself a mossback, is one day longer than the person you’re talking to.

    We need to have another meetup if we’re going to have new people. Welcome to jet city!

  26. 26.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Ok has the Gulf Coast recovered from the spill or is that commercial bullsh-t? I suspect that was mostly filmed in either Texas or Florida

  27. 27.

    Schlemizel

    @Raven:
    YEars ago HBO did a show about NFL players & injury. One guy was paralyzed on the opening kick-off of his first professional game. They also covered Jim Otto who needed two canes to walk after 30-some surgeries on his knees.

    Its a brutal, ugly, game that eats up & spits out young men like a meat grinder. I hope he comes out of this OK but there are going to be life-long affects & the number of players who end up invalids, dieing young or broke and suffering is shameful.

  30. 30.

    Mark B.

    @Schlemizel: I recently saw Earl Campbell. He’s my age, (early 50s) and should be vigorous, but he’s in a wheelchair. It’s kind of sad, although he seemed to be smiling a lot, so maybe he’s adjusted to it, or maybe the drugs were just kicking in.

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    @MikeJ: Also too: we’ll fill you in on places to avoid as well as spots you really have to experience. Seattle is full of nifty little hidden gems that even long-time residents (the native Seattleite is a very rare creature indeed) don’t always know about until introduced to them.

    @Raven: I think they call that the University of Washington now. :)

  32. 32.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    I want the Eagles win so I can hear Mike Greenberg cries his eyes out, plus his slobbering of Tebow coming to an end. the Mike and Mike show will be a pleasure to listen.

  34. 34.

    Montysano

    I’m only a casual football fan, but to my eye, Tebow played a decent game. The Pats are just a much better team.

    The Tebow-ing furor is kind of mystifying. Seems like a solid majority of athletes, in all sports, do some sort of Jesus shout-out. It’s constantly in my face. I fucking hate it, but I’m not surprised by it.

  45. 45.

    Maxwel

    I told my bro in Ohio that ESPN should change its name to WHTD (What Has Tebow Done). Considering that so many of their shows have people yelling at each other and practically coming to blows, the directive to push Tebow must have come from on high. Not one has mentioned the obvious: Denver’s schedule is as soft as charmin.

  48. 48.

    JPL

    @Raven: That about covered it. Tebow gives credit to his teammates but it’s the news media that constantly talks about Tebow time. It’s annoying.

  50. 50.

    Montysano

    @Raven:From your link:

    Not only is it OK to root against Tim Tebow, it’s practically your duty as cynical American. Hating on Tebow means rebelling against the same media bullshit generator that made superhumans out of the likes of Tiger Woods and Brett Favre.

    Well said.

  53. 53.

    sherifffruitfly

    Turns out I was off by 2 points in my Pats/Broncos prediction.

    Overall, the general point was thoroughly proved: the Denver Tebows simply cannot score enough, fast enough, to keep up with the Pats. For the life of me, I still can’t imagine why any sentient being would even for a moment think otherwise.

    sherifffruitfly – December 18, 2011 | 12:31 pm · Link Is there anybody out there (other than retards from Denver) who thinks the Pats will win by less than 20?

    edit: dood fix ur damn blockquote

  55. 55.

    Neil

    Today just plain sucked. Giants lost. Jets lost. Patriots just about to win (which means my coworker gloats tomorrow). My only hope is that the stillers lose tomorrow so my other coworker can suck it.

  58. 58.

    Raven

    Where’s the dude telling us all about how “historically” the Pats haven’t done well against Denver?

  59. 59.

    MikeJ

    @JPL: Complaining that QBs get more press than left inside tackles seems whiny. Like all those people who bitch about the fact that Pete Townsend wasn’t really a great guitar slinger.

    Not that I really care one way or the other about Tebow. I’ve never seen a game he was in but I hear constant whining about him.

  61. 61.

    Maxwel

    @sherifffruitfl
    Maybe more than 20 if Belicheck had a D that could have stopped a girls soccer team.

  65. 65.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    Where’s the dude telling us all about how “historically” the Pats haven’t done well against Denver?

    Brady’s lost a playoff game there. Glad the Pats won, I had my doubts about how the defense was going to perform against Tebow.

  69. 69.

    Mustang Bobby

    Denver has this worshipful love/hate relationship with QB’s. I lived there during the Elway Era and he got the same kind of salivating coverage. It must have something to do with Denver being just nuts about the team; you have to wait for someone to die to get season tickets, and people put them in their wills as part of their estate.

  70. 70.

    Mark B.

    @JPL: Well, Brees is good pretty much all of the time he’s in, whereas Tebow sucks except late in the game. So it’s hard to say that there’s a specific period which belongs to Brees, unless you say ‘all of them’. Conversely, the only quarter where Tebow performs better than a wildcat quarterback is generally the 4th. So the 4th would have to be his quarter, and thus we have ‘Tebow time’. Today excepted, he was actually fairly decent the whold game, although he did have some awful throws where he missed an open receiver by 5 or 6 yards, but he also had some pretty good throws, and he wasn’t any better or worse late in the game. He’s developing consistency. In the future, he will be consistently mediocre.

  71. 71.

    ET

    Did Tebow think he was so fan-fucking-tastic that he could figure a way to make a good play or did he think he wasn’t going to get sacked and instead lost 29 yards and still got sacked.

    Saints won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Colts won. (finally)
    Packers lost. (finally)
    Denver lost. (thankfully)

  72. 72.

    dmsilev

    @lamh35: Wow. The amount of hatred spewing off that guy is just amazing. Impressive lack of judgement, though; public and explicit calls for the assassination of a President and his family are something that the Secret Service has absolutely no sense of humor about.

  73. 73.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Mustang Bobby:

    It must have something to do with Denver being just nuts about the team; you have to wait for someone to die to get season tickets, and people put them in their wills as part of their estate.

    Feh, Green Bay has been doing that since before Denver had a team.

  74. 74.

    Joel

    I don’t dislike Tim Tebow, but Phil Simms was trying very hard to convince me to. As someone who has watched the crappy Patriots defense collapse in multiple fourth quarters this season, I want an animated gif of that wrong-way Jim Marshall sack, stat.

  75. 75.

    Mark B.

    @ET: He thinks he’s Barry Sanders. To be fair, I’ve never seen Barry give up that much ground, but I’ve seen him give up a lot, and end up making yards on the play. And it was 4th down, so he really didn’t have that much to lose by trying to keep the play alive. Who knows, maybe the guys chasing him could trip on a sprinkler head.

  76. 76.

    Joel

    @Raven: That was me, and they historically have shit the bed in Denver. To my credit, I attributed that to the late Elway teams that consistently destroyed the Patriots and Mike Shanahan, who is Bill Belichick’s nemesis (case in point: the Redskins almost won last week).

  77. 77.

    Corner Stone

    @Mustang Bobby: I have like 4 epis of Person of Interest on DVR. I am loving Jesus Cavaziel as the stud but I just can’t seem to get back to watch the recorded epis.

  79. 79.

    Nom de Plume

    @Montysano: I’m only a casual football fan, but to my eye, Tebow played a decent game.

    Extremely casual. If I actually liked Tebow and rooted for him, I would be very disappointed right now. He threw the ball mostly pretty poorly, with a couple of good throws mixed in, but that’s not exceptional or even “decent”, it’s the minimum expected of an NFL quarterback.

    Man, if people lowered their expectations this much for me, I’d be the greatest person who ever lived.

  81. 81.

    Citizen_X

    @lamh35: Geez, ya know, maybe if you’re a California politician named “Manson” you should avoid calling for the murder of entire families. People might remember that shit.

    Oh, and look: he’s a Ron Paul supporter. WHATTA FUCKING SURPRISE!

  84. 84.

    Raven

    @Joel: Not this one:

    Cacti – December 18, 2011 | 12:41 pm · Link

    @sherifffruitfly:

    Is there anybody out there (other than retards from Denver) who thinks the Pats will win by less than 20?

    The Pats have a poor defense, and historically, have struggled in games at Denver.

    Brady lost a playoff game there 27-13, back in 2006, going up against all-timer Jake Plummer as the opposing QB.

  85. 85.

    Roy G

    I think a good part of the outrage is the self-glorification involved in renaming ‘a moment of prayer’ after himself.

    Then there’s the skeevyness of going from missionary to circumcision assistant of young Philipino boys. All for the glory of Jeebus of course.

  88. 88.

    Comrade Luke

    First time I’ve watched Tebow in the NFL. My observation is that every time he throws the ball he’s either throwing a fastball high and away, or aiming it and doing a bad job of it.

    And for everyone talking about the vaunted Broncos defense – they’ve been playing shitty teams. Shitty teams usually are bad on both sides of the ball. They’re a decent defense, I would even say good, but great? No, that’s the schedule helping them out.

  89. 89.

    Scott Alloway

    As a long-time Patsies fan (remember when they drafted Plunkett?), I recall Denver as a tough game for years. The Broncos have had NE’s number for years. This season will find the Patsies short again.

  90. 90.

    Raven

    @Scott Alloway:

    12/18/2011 New England Patriots 41, Denver Broncos 23
    10/11/2009 Denver Broncos 20, New England Patriots 17, O
    10/20/2008 New England Patriots 41, Denver Broncos 7

  92. 92.

    different-church-lady

    I could swear that Phil Simms said “Also too”

    You did not imagine that — jumped right out at me.

    Was the real Jesus ever sacked for 29 yards?

  93. 93.

    different-church-lady

    @ET: I think he thought he was 3 possessions behind, it was 4th down, and throwing the ball away wouldn’t do him any good, so he just kept trying to stay on his feet and hope something would open up. Actually not dumb at all.

  94. 94.

    burnspbesq

    Good game on ESPN: number one Baylor against number two UConn. Early in the second half, UConn has a small lead. Baylor is ignoring Griner on far too many possessions.

  95. 95.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Holy shit, it’s mathematically possible for the dreadful Seahawks to be in the playoffs, again.

    Knock me over with a feather.

  98. 98.

    Bill Murray

    @burnspbesq: Griner doesn’t need the ball to be effective, but that baseline spin move was incredible. Baylor now up 4 after a 21-6 run.

    Also, I think the play Knox broke his vertebra would have killed me. It looks like Knox is expected to recover fine.

    He has a “positive prognosis for his career and quality of life,” according to the Bears. The surgery is scheduled for Monday.

    “He has total movement throughout his body, has total use of all his extremities, which is good,” coach Lovie Smith said. “We’re doing tests right now. He has total movement. He’s not paralyzed or anything.”

    http://espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/story/_/id/7365713/chicago-bears-johnny-knox-undergo-surgery-big-hit

  99. 99.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Yutsano:

    I don’t know the precise details, but looking at the standings, they are 7-7, and it’s therefore possible they could go 9-7 and somehow, through the elaborate tiebreaker system, get a mild card berth.

    I’m sure the serous wonks at ESPN are calculating all the various permutations as I type these words, but the picture will clear up considerably after next week’s games.

  100. 100.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Yutsano:

    Also, a ton of bricks need to fall on both the Falcons and the Lions and the Seahawks (among others) can’t choke for it to work. Like I said, next week will clear things up considerably.

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