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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Last Post Explained

Last Post Explained

by John Cole|  March 24, 201212:50 am| 88 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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My good buddy Wiley Cash, whose book is going to blow up the moment it comes out (I’ve read it, it really is that damned good), just posted a new picture of himself:

The moment I saw that, I knew precisely what had to be done:

ANGELINA JOLIE LEG POSE!

It’s amazing I have any friends whatsoever.

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Next Post: It’s Friday Night and I Am on the Bottle »

Reader Interactions

88Comments

  1. 1.

    Mark S.

    March 24, 2012 at 12:53 am

    All right, Cole’s into the hooch tonight.

    He’s probably still giggling about this.

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    March 24, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Well, if you have only one friend, but his name is “Wiley Cash”…then I’m pretty sure you’re fucking solid.

  3. 3.

    Paddy

    March 24, 2012 at 12:54 am

    Nummy.

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    March 24, 2012 at 12:54 am

    @Mark S.: I would’ve paid money to beat you to the first post on this one. Cash money.

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    March 24, 2012 at 12:56 am

    Good fuckin lord, KU, how many ulcers can you give me? Another close-but-shant-be game. A win izza win, natch, but come on….gimmie a blowout now and then….

  6. 6.

    Mark S.

    March 24, 2012 at 12:57 am

    @Corner Stone:

    I’ll request to have it deleted if you want to send me money.

  7. 7.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 12:58 am

    Yeah, finger painting would not have gotten your desired result.

  8. 8.

    Short Bus Bully

    March 24, 2012 at 1:02 am

    Cole has friends like I have friends. I think that’s why I like it so much here.

    That and all the pie that gets thrown around…

    That pic is WIN.

  9. 9.

    amk

    March 24, 2012 at 1:02 am

    He looks like a fucking mermaid with one leg and one tail.

  10. 10.

    Urza

    March 24, 2012 at 1:04 am

    Should offer that for the book cover.

  11. 11.

    dead existentialist

    March 24, 2012 at 1:05 am

    @Punchy: No shit. This team doesn’t run away and hide.
    eta: Of course they don’t let anybody put 102 on them, so there’s that.

  12. 12.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:06 am

    I wish him every success in his artistic endeavors.

    that is all.

  13. 13.

    Gex

    March 24, 2012 at 1:06 am

    Well done, sir. Well done.

  14. 14.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:07 am

    Those shoes really are not appropriate for the venue. The heels should be taller to keep more of the foot dry.

    ETA: Perhaps a platform sole as well, but that is a bit too 70s retro for fishing.

  15. 15.

    redshirt

    March 24, 2012 at 1:08 am

    Drunk trolling your own blog. How sad.

  16. 16.

    Satanicpanic

    March 24, 2012 at 1:08 am

    Your friends has nice leg

  17. 17.

    sfinny

    March 24, 2012 at 1:09 am

    OK, that cracked me up. And it does reflect a very strange yet juvenile sense of humor. Not sure how that reflects on me generally.

  18. 18.

    kdaug

    March 24, 2012 at 1:09 am

    @amk: Agreed. Cole’s drunken Photoshop ninjitsu ain’t so good.

  19. 19.

    Skippy the Wondermule

    March 24, 2012 at 1:09 am

    You are innocent of any crime, he was clearly asking for it, consciously or subconsciously.

    This may be why this is my favorite “lefty” blog. As my favorite whore used to say, “You can never show too much leg.”

    I made that up, you’re my second favorite blog :-)

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:10 am

    @redshirt: Sheeeeit, he trolls the blog when he is sober. Why bring drunkenness into it?

  21. 21.

    dead existentialist

    March 24, 2012 at 1:12 am

    @Satanicpanic: Tee hee. I see what you did there.

    Akso, too John, here’s a good tutorial for your next endeavor. It’s been around for a while.

    http://www.mydamnchannel.com/You_Suck_at_Photoshop/Season_1/1DistortWarpandLayerEffects_1373.aspx

    You Suck at Photoshop.

  22. 22.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    people come here sober?

    jeebus.

  23. 23.

    Bnut

    March 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

    Since I’m into the hooch, can i bring up something about this picture that will never cease to bother me about guys like this. I can’t grow facial hair. It doesn’t happen. I can not shave for a month and I look like a 13 year old kid trying to look cool with a pencil thin stache. I so want a beard like this. Stop rubbing it in my face people. I’m 27.

  24. 24.

    redshirt

    March 24, 2012 at 1:13 am

    I don’t want to say this ain’t John’s gay lover..

  25. 25.

    kdaug

    March 24, 2012 at 1:14 am

    It’s amazing I have any friends whatsoever

    You do, but we’re all here, and we’ve never actually met you.

  26. 26.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:17 am

    @Bnut: Dude, I basically shave every day to hide the fact that couldn’t grow a decent beard, neck beard, goatee, mustache, or any combination of them if my life depended upon it. I am 20 years older than you.

  27. 27.

    Dr. Loveless

    March 24, 2012 at 1:18 am

    What that picture needs now is the Pepper Spray Cop.

  28. 28.

    Satanicpanic

    March 24, 2012 at 1:20 am

    @Bnut: Don’t lose hope man, I couldn’t grow a decent one until I was well into my 30’s. It kept coming in all patchy and gross. Actually, I still think they’re gross, but I could grow one now if I wanted to.

  29. 29.

    amk

    March 24, 2012 at 1:22 am

    all blonde kidnap gang.

    who said blondes are dumb?

  30. 30.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:23 am

    @Bnut:

    embrace the inner twink.

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    March 24, 2012 at 1:23 am

    @Bnut: Facial hair isn’t the true marker of manhood. Don’t worry bout it bro. Being able to grow facial hair really doesn’t indicate anything. It doesn’t mean a thing. Not really relevant in any way. Probably not really even useful, actually. Certainly not significant, in any event. Not much of anything.

  32. 32.

    Yutsano

    March 24, 2012 at 1:23 am

    @Bnut: Get over it. I’m 39 and the best I can do is shaggy. And that takes at least a week.

  33. 33.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:24 am

    @Satanicpanic: Bastard.

  34. 34.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:25 am

    @Yutsano: I prefer to think of myself as more evolved.

  35. 35.

    amk

    March 24, 2012 at 1:25 am

    @Bnut:

    Grass is always green on the other side. My 17 year old looks like a hippie now, just missing two weeks of his shaving due to his school final exams.

    Be careful about what you wish for.

  36. 36.

    Wee Bey

    March 24, 2012 at 1:26 am

    I shaved my legs for this?

  37. 37.

    Bnut

    March 24, 2012 at 1:27 am

    I take solace in the fact that I have the thickest hair ever, and all my grandparents never went bald. But it’s not about manliness. I just want some chops. They look so sweet.

  38. 38.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:27 am

    @Wee Bey:

    be honest. half way?

  39. 39.

    Yutsano

    March 24, 2012 at 1:27 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: There’s a Wisconsinite joke in there. But I’m too fucking exhausted to bring it forth.

  40. 40.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:28 am

    @Bnut:

    no, no they really don’t.

  41. 41.

    Satanicpanic

    March 24, 2012 at 1:29 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Shit there’s a hell of a lot more hair I wish I could get rid of

  42. 42.

    Corner Stone

    March 24, 2012 at 1:29 am

    @Bnut: Gov Blagojevich?
    Thought you were done for!

  43. 43.

    Bnut

    March 24, 2012 at 1:30 am

    @Little Boots: Can I at least have sideburns? Please? Don Mattingly was my hero.
    @Corner Stone: I don’t know what this means.

    I’m re watching Game of Thrones S1, and my favorite scene just happened. The Dancing Masters death. So good.

  44. 44.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:31 am

    @Corner Stone:

    okay, it’s so mean, but did you hear his barber’s come forth now, and admitted he’s been dying that mop for 20 years.

  45. 45.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:31 am

    @Bnut:

    no, smooth for you, dammit.

    smooth!

  46. 46.

    Warren Terra

    March 24, 2012 at 1:32 am

    What I know about the publishing industry would more or less fit into this blog comment, but at his site it appears that his first book has a four country / three language publishing deal. Sounds like he’s doing alright.

  47. 47.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:33 am

    @Warren Terra:

    plus, beard. (okay, that was mean, bnut.)

  48. 48.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:33 am

    @Bnut: Dude, full head of hair and no real beard to speak of? That is my situation. Last summer, I went to my 25th college reunion and jealousy was rampant. Hair on top of your head is better than hair anywhere else on your head.

  49. 49.

    kdaug

    March 24, 2012 at 1:34 am

    @Little Boots: No, just one leg.

  50. 50.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:35 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    this is true. I realized I’m the same age as Andrew Sullivan tonight. did you see him on real time? yikes.

  51. 51.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:35 am

    @kdaug:

    hot. and a little kinky.

  52. 52.

    danielx

    March 24, 2012 at 1:37 am

    If this is what you wanted the Photoshop person for earlier….for shame.

    What am I talking about? Anyone who would do this to a photo of a friend has no shame.

  53. 53.

    Bnut

    March 24, 2012 at 1:38 am

    @Wee Bey: Is your name a Wired reference? Also, since you have a baseball blog, lemme ask you a question. Who should be the Yankees 5th starter this year?

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:38 am

    @Little Boots: Not tonight, but he isn’t aging well.

  55. 55.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    no, once so hot, but no.

  56. 56.

    Satanicpanic

    March 24, 2012 at 1:39 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hey, what are you complaining about?

    *full disclosure- not going bald either

    +3

  57. 57.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:43 am

    @Bnut:

    love the books, actually a little worried about watching the series. is it really that good?

  58. 58.

    Little Boots

    March 24, 2012 at 1:45 am

    new thread, if anyone’s awake.

    do you juicer’s do that new thread thing?

    anyway, just come upstairs.

  59. 59.

    Wee Bey

    March 24, 2012 at 1:46 am

    @Little Boots:

    OK, OK.

    You got me.

  60. 60.

    Bnut

    March 24, 2012 at 1:47 am

    @Little Boots: The acting is top notch, some of the stories are compressed, but I’m very impressed. It’s been said here before, but Peter Dinklage steals his scenes. And Sean Bean. I mean, it’s Sean Bean.

  61. 61.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 1:50 am

    @Bnut: Dinklage is great, but Tyrion is also a fucking awesome character. Dude got the part of a lifetime.

  62. 62.

    kdaug

    March 24, 2012 at 1:51 am

    @Satanicpanic:

    *full disclosure- not going bald either

    Ditto. Think all my hair genes stayed on my head. Seems the balding guys are the ones with hairy chest/legs/back. Some kind of follicle migration.

  63. 63.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:01 am

    @kdaug: I will take what I have. FWIW not going very gray either. So there.

  64. 64.

    Yutsano

    March 24, 2012 at 2:07 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: I have grays. But that’s genetic. My brother is half-silver at 32.

  65. 65.

    Mnemosyne

    March 24, 2012 at 2:09 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Seems like a chicken and egg question to me. If you have a great part and also have a great actor to play that part, it’s hard to decide where the greatness originates.

    If you have any doubts about Dinklage’s acting chops, go rent The Station Agent right fucking now.

    Also, too, am I the only person getting a vibe from the show that one of the underlying themes is that a major weather catastrophe is brewing but the aristocracy is fucking around playing their petty monarchy games instead of paying attention and trying to halt the catastrophe? No idea why that would appeal to a bunch of lefties.

  66. 66.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:18 am

    @Mnemosyne: And if you read the books, Tyrion is utterly compelling. The actor found his part. Dinklage is a great actor who happens to be a little person.

  67. 67.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:23 am

    @Yutsano: My dad and my brother got the Puritan English early gray. I got the Frog-Canuck dark (Thanks, Mom).

  68. 68.

    Mnemosyne

    March 24, 2012 at 2:26 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I know they keep talking about making movies out of Lois McMaster Bujold’s Miles Vorkosigan books, and I hope they do it before Dinklage is too old to play him. (Technically, he’s probably too old now since he’s my age, but Miles is a young man who looks 20 years older than he really is, and I think Dinklage is a good enough actor to pull it off.) That’s another part that I can’t think of anyone but Dinklage managing to pull off.

  69. 69.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:27 am

    @Mnemosyne: I am unfamiliar with these. Should I remedy this?

  70. 70.

    Ruckus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:29 am

    @Bnut:
    In a few years, 20-30 maybe, you would probably just hate to shave, like the rest of us.

    So I don’t do it. OK once a week or two. I have a full beard, not just stubble. I hate shaving so much that I kept a beard for an entire 18 yr relationship, sometimes going a month without trimming or shaving. Last time I shaved it off I made 3 days before I started growing it back. Hate it so much that I’ve had a full beard for over 90% of my adult life.
    Embrace it, revel in it, thank whatever deity you believe in(or not), this no shaving luxury. You are blessed, not cursed.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:36 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Reading the rest of the comments after my reply to Bnut, I have to give you a hearty no shit. Have a full beard and close cropped head because I’m going fucking bald. For oh, the last 15 years or so.

  72. 72.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:37 am

    @Ruckus: I am the opposite. I can go no more than 3 days before I must rush to the sink with a razor. I don’t feel like my face is fully clean if I go longer.

  73. 73.

    Ruckus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:38 am

    @kdaug:
    It’s gravity I tell ya.
    Men and women, gravity hits us all.

  74. 74.

    Keith

    March 24, 2012 at 2:38 am

    Some Buscem-eyes would round things out nicely.

  75. 75.

    Mnemosyne

    March 24, 2012 at 2:39 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yes. Start with The Warrior’s Apprentice. Baen Books keeps frickin’ repackaging everything, but I think that their current package Young Miles should get you the first two Miles books and a short story all in one volume. You used to be able to download pretty much the entire saga for free at the Baen website, but I don’t know if that’s still the case.

    (The series actually starts slightly earlier with two books about Miles’ parents, Shards of Honor and Barrayar, but you can circle back to those after The Warrior’s Apprentice.)

  76. 76.

    Ruckus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:40 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    It takes me about 5 days to get over that. After that I usually forget I’ve got the beard.

  77. 77.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 2:52 am

    @Ruckus: We are clearly different people. I am guessing that the ability to grow a good beard does play a part in the willingness to remain unshaven for more than a day or so.

  78. 78.

    Ruckus

    March 24, 2012 at 3:05 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I didn’t say it was good, just long. Not even close to ZZ Top long but still.

  79. 79.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 24, 2012 at 3:08 am

    @Ruckus: Correction graciously accepted.

  80. 80.

    opie jeanne

    March 24, 2012 at 3:30 am

    when, When, WHEN??? does the book come out? I’ve been waiting for it ever since you first mentioned it? I’ve noted the title in my iPhone so I won’t forget to pick it up.

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 24, 2012 at 8:02 am

    @opie jeanne:

    The link says April 17 is publication day.

  82. 82.

    Lee

    March 24, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Added to my B&N wish list.

    BTW, B&N’s site sucks. They have no idea how to run a wish list.

  83. 83.

    RossInDetroit

    March 24, 2012 at 9:07 am

    The sweater under the jacket gives me an idea. Can you do that to a pic of Santorum? It would be so fitting.

  84. 84.

    Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    March 24, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Is this what you needed help with photoshop for?

  85. 85.

    Amir Khalid

    March 24, 2012 at 10:17 am

    @Bnut:
    It could be worse. Suppose you were a devout Sikh, and required to keep a beard …

  86. 86.

    CaseyL

    March 24, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Didn’t see this until Saturday morning, and it gave me a sweet start-the-day laugh.

    It’s a damn near perfect manip: did you go to the pros?

    Oh, and have you heard from Wiley yet??

  87. 87.

    kindness

    March 24, 2012 at 11:35 am

    John has photoshop skills. Cool.

    Hey John, you have anything to do with Obama’s birth certificate?

  88. 88.

    rachel

    March 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Yes, that would be best. But he shouldn’t skip the first two altogether; there are references to Cordelia Vorkosigan’s “shopping trip” in some of the later books that don’t make sense if you haven’t read at least Barrayar.

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