Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

I really should read my own blog.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Alternative history is always a weak argument. Always.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

White supremacy is terrorism.

Never forget that he train is barreling down on Trump, even as he dances on the tracks.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

When we show up, we win.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

In after Baud. Damn.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

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93Comments

  3. 3.

    Stuck in the Funhouse

    Sheat, 45 bucks for a concert. I’m doin’ okay out here in the sticks, where you can listen to a Coyote Concerto for free.

  4. 4.

    Flying Squirrel Girl

    WARNING: If you see a link that offers you free tracks from Nickelback’s new album DO NOT CLICK ON IT. It goes to a link with free tracks from Nickelback’s new album.

  7. 7.

    Foggy F Follansbye

    why is the media making such a big deal of Obama calling Nickelback “a fine band?”. He was clearly saying they were fine compared to Creed. Now Romney is blaming him for the death of power rock. Ugh.

  8. 8.

    pragmatism

    the (for me compeletely rational) hatred of nickelback has a corollary in the level of butthurtidude exhibited by nickelback fans. was engaged in a discussion about creative uses of jameson. we were talking about breakfast shots (tastes like pancakes. good bars will give you bacon to round it out) and drinking a “pickle back” or glass of pickle juice after a shot of jamo. a quite young (21 or so) girl buts in and asks if we are talking about nickelback. this led to much guffawing from the group. she demanded to know why we were laughing. the terms “crap rock” “lowest common denominator rock” and “worst band ever” were bandied about. she did not like this. not at all. she went a table over and started loudly complaining and doing some hefty mean mugging for the rest of the afternoon. so weird.

  10. 10.

    samuel

    Another Cole post smothered in fail sauce. Personally I don’t love them or hate them but I don’t understand where all this spite comes from. Maybe it reminds you of the loser you were in high school or all the crap 80’s hair bands you used to worship. Who the fuck knows. But to expend that much energy for someeone to write that means they have some deep rooted personal issues.

    If you don’t like them don’t fucking go! Do you have to stand on a soap box on a street corner with a big sign that says “Repent, the end is near”? Get a fucking life Cole. Not enough drone strikes or dog shit in your bed to keep you occupied with those fetishes these days Cole?

  11. 11.

    lamh35

    @Paula: I’ve always wondered that there is just no way that Nickelback is the worst and least talented platinum selling band/recording artist (I see you Kesha, Britney and Bieber) sot what is with all the hate?

  12. 12.

    pragmatism

    @samuel: if you’re a spoof troll, good on ya. otherwise, take your own advice and don’t read cole’s posts. fail sauce tastes subjective.

  13. 13.

    David Koch

    ♫♫♫

    Hot town, summer in the city
    Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
    Been down, isn’t it a pity
    Doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city

    All around, people looking half dead
    Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

    But at night it’s a different world
    Go out and find a girl
    Come-on come-on and dance all night
    Despite the heat it’ll be alright

    In the summer, in the city
    In the summer, in the city

  16. 16.

    shortstop

    @samuel:

    Another Cole post smothered in fail sauce…I don’t understand where all this spite comes from

    Can’t hear your own irony meter going off at top volume? Must have damaged your hearing at too many Nickelback shows.

  17. 17.

    fasteddie9318

    @samuel:

    But to expend that much energy for someeone to write that means they have some deep rooted personal issues.

    Yes, indeed, to expend energy to write about something you clearly hate, but the existence of which affects your life in no discernible way, truly does reflect some deeply rooted personal issues. As you so wisely point out, just ignoring the thing, whatever it is, would be so much healthier.

  18. 18.

    Jeffro

    I just want to know how it all went down…”we need a kicka$$ band name…something that reminds people of buying a $.95 item with a buck…’Five Cents Refunded’?…no, that’s not it…”

  20. 20.

    Yutsano

    @lamh35: At least they aren’t all fucking Autotune. I swear 99% of pop is shit because they just artificially fix the pitch. I blame Cher.

  22. 22.

    Heliopause

    @Paula:

    Nickelback sucks, but what did they ever do to inspire such hatred?

    If Freddie is reading this maybe he can drop in and talk about cultural markers. Basically, you’re marking your spot in the cultural universe by pissing on Nickleback.

  23. 23.

    joeyess

    Oh my.

    I have no idea what weekly rag this is from, but it looks as though Nickelback has completely fallen from it’s once lofty perch atop Mount Misogyny and rolled right into GetYerHandsOffMyStripper Gully.

  24. 24.

    kevin

    not a fan of them myself, but the over the top hate has gotten old. There is a lot of awful music selling well, to each their own is what i say when it comes to musical or movie taste.

    Why does this thing tell me i misspelt movie? Or have I just gone dumb and missed something obvious?

  25. 25.

    Rosalita

    @samuel:

    Do you have to stand on a soap box on a street corner with a big sign that says “Repent, the end is near”?

    it’s his blog and he can write what he wants. now kindly fuck off.

  26. 26.

    joeyess

    @cathyx:

    I hope this person wrote as bad of a critic of The Spice Girls.

    translation: Hey! I like Nickelback!

  27. 27.

    slag

    It occurs to me…I never realized how much DougJ and mistermix had been carrying the content of this blog until they went Netroots Gestalt on us.

    Cole–the time has come for you to rejoin life. What happened to your classical music jag?

  29. 29.

    kindness

    Nickelback has been the band to mock for some time now. I like a couple of their songs but they are my daughters era so I wasn’t all that caught up in the mocking.

    Oh well. Better than continuing to beat up on President Obama I guess.

  32. 32.

    Steve in DC

    @lamh35:

    Well those are all hated as well. Also keep in mind that spewing hatred and talking shit is one of the three purposes of the internet, the others being porn and piracy respectively.

    Knickleback, at least around here, falls into the same group as hipsters, emo’s, Coldplay and other dumb shit white people engage in. So it’s fairly easy to take a shot at.

  37. 37.

    Cassidy

    Someone right now is listening to “photograph” and thinking about how mean everyone is.

  40. 40.

    samuel

    @pragmatism: Speaking of taking your own advice…..Guess that goes double when your response is it’s own irony.

    @MaximusNYC: Can’t make it, that is fantasy baseball league night.

    @Rosalita: Hugs and kisses to you to. The only reason I still hang around is because Cole keeps trying to ban me so I go out of my way to drop by and give him the finger whenever I’m in the mood.

    @fasteddie9318: says fasteddie9318 as he does exactly that!

  41. 41.

    Quicksand

    LEAVE NICKELBACK ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!

    (Sorry, someone had to do it.)

  42. 42.

    Linda Featheringill

    @Heliopause: #22

    Basically, you’re marking your spot in the cultural universe by pissing on Nickleback.

    I frequently don’t understand what you youngsters are up to but that I understand.

  52. 52.

    shortstop

    Sweet jesus, but am I glad it’s Friday.

    @lamh35: Well, I wasn’t, but after seeing that, I may give it another try.

  55. 55.

    JWL

    George Harrison was once asked about a song of his that was covered by Oasis (I think it was Oasis; anyway, it was a band that was currently on the charts). He simply pointed out, “There are only three chords in that song, and they got two of them wrong”.

  56. 56.

    gaz

    I’m not sure, but I think I may have never actually heard them. I did hear that they suck. I’ve never heard anyone of note say anything other than Nickelback sucks so I’m guessing I’m lucky. Yay for me.

  58. 58.

    Davis X. Machina

    Obama stabbing the bass in the back, yet again.

    I saw what you did there.

  59. 59.

    Suffern ACE

    All I know about this band is that they once made it difficult for me to get a hotel room in Pittsburgh. Being that the Skid Row / Warrant double bill at the local PAC this summer is making me contemplate parting with $35 to relive my youth, I’m not going to hold anything against today’s kids.

  60. 60.

    Jamey

    @Paula: I still would rather listen to Creed and Nickelback than read Chuck Klosterman write about sports.

  61. 61.

    cathyx

    @joeyess: I don’t know, but what does it matter? Any of the groups that are popular with that age group will be made fun of. Maybe grownups who make fun of them were embarrassed by liking one of their songs when they first heard it and now make fun of them. John admitted that he had a Nickelback song on his ipod and pretended to not know how it got there.

  62. 62.

    Comrade Mary

    @Steve in DC: The Spice Girls got Costello to appear in their film, along with a lot of other respected Brits. When Nickelback gets Leonard Cohen to make a courtesy call, let me know.

  63. 63.

    asiangrrlMN

    I trolled a friend with links from Creed and Nickelback in the same night. It almost broke up the friendship until I promised him I would never, ever do it again.

  65. 65.

    J.W. Hamner

    I feel like even if it was a “PICK A BAND YOU HATE” Madlib people would still be pissed because the drummer for __________ is really underrated and ___________’s singer was simply too far ahead of his time for critics to appreciate.

  66. 66.

    burnspbesq

    Who is this band Nickelback, anyway? I have never heard even one second of their music, which apparently is good for me.

    Are they the new-millenium version of REO Speedwagon?

  67. 67.

    burnspbesq

    @Jamey:

    I still would rather listen to Creed and Nickelback than read Chuck Klosterman write about sports.

    And I’d rather read Klosterman than Pierce.

  69. 69.

    Citizen_X

    Typical elitists from coastal Boise looking down upon the real Americans in flyover country, and their love of real American-by-way-of-Canada bands.

    And Creed? They could receive all the hate in the universe, and it would never be enough.

  70. 70.

    Roger Moore

    @Foggy F Follansbye:

    why is the media making such a big deal of Obama calling Nickelback “a fine band?”. He was clearly saying they were fine compared to Creed.

    Are you sure he wasn’t saying you should be fined for playing their music out loud? That would be an equally logical explanation.

  71. 71.

    Fax Paladin

    Now I’m curious: college newspaper or alternative weekly?

    (One Google search later) Alternative weekly. Yep. Had to be one of the two.

  72. 72.

    Paula

    @Jamey:

    Now THAT’S haterade I can get behind. I don’t what it is about Klosterman but his writing is SO GODDAMN UP ITS OWN ASS ABOUT HOW COOL HE IS that it makes me physically itch to read it.

    But he does have a point about these bands — Nickelback and Creed — still being very popular and how that fandom is valid no matter how much hipsters like to dump on them.

  73. 73.

    burnspbesq

    @Valdivia:

    For you, then.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGgLPriZUSA

    Growing up in the New York area and going to school Upstate, I had never heard REO Speedwagon or Bob Seger until the I drove from Schenectady to Denver in June of 1976. Radio was much more regional in the the 1970s. It changed completely when you got in range of WMMS in Cleveland, and changed completely again when you got in range of KBPI in Denver.

  76. 76.

    muddy

    My young neighbor is so excited to have tickets for it next month that she swore if she didn’t get the day off work she’d quit the job that she got a month ago after 6 months of looking. I goggled. But I didn’t say anything because she takes care of my animals when I can’t and even mowed my lawn this week. Sweet girl, does not share my taste in music.

  77. 77.

    joeyess

    @cathyx: I highly doubt either Nickelback or The Spice Girls songs will be standards 40 years from now. Just don’t see it. Now, Sgt. Pepper? That stands up.

  78. 78.

    Cromagnon

    Not a fan of Nickleback but there are worse bands out there. Practically any band that carries the label ‘critically acclaimed’ sucks total donkey balls. If Rolling Stone magazine gives a band a thumbs up, then they are guaranteed to suck. Same with any band the so-called ‘alternative’ crowd is into… Alternative means lousy musicianship and crappy songs that losers who are still living with their moms are into LOL

  81. 81.

    28 Percent

    The best thing that it is possible to say about Nickleback is that they are an occasionally funny answer in Cards Against Humanity. Not as reliably funny as ” oompa loompas” or “micropenis” but it does make a nice finish for a haiku.

  83. 83.

    ditch digger

    I’m no fan, although I’m supposed to be as they’re from Vancouver. And yet, from their Wikipedia page:

    Nickelback is one of the most commercially successful Canadian groups, having sold more than 50 million albums worldwide,[3] ranking as the 11th best selling music act of the 2000s, and is the 2nd best selling foreign act in the U.S. behind The Beatles for the 2000s

    I’m sure all the ridicule really hurts when they are rolling around in their piles of toonies with Bieber.

  85. 85.

    Billy K

    Nickelback sucks. So does practically every other popular band.

    I have chuckled along to the Nickelback haterade over the years, but it’s well past time to stop pretending they are any different than most horrible modern groups.

  86. 86.

    Roy G

    IMO, Patrick Carney from the Black Keys said it best:

    “Rock & roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world… So they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be shit – therefore you should never try to be the biggest rock band in the world. Fuck that! Rock & roll is the music I feel the most passionately about, and I don’t like to see it fucking ruined and spoon-fed down our throats in this watered-down, post-grunge crap, horrendous shit. When people start lumping us into that kind of shit, it’s like, ‘Fuck you,’ honestly.”

    People can like Nickelback all they want, just like people can like Thomas Kinkade paintings.

  88. 88.

    Sentient Puddle

    If there’s any pretense of worst band ever talk going on here, everybody must consider Limp Bizkit.

  89. 89.

    mpbruss

    The over-the-top hatred for Nickelback comes from the fact they’re the biggest selling band of the last 10 years. They are a thoroughly mediocre band that made a few serviceable but mediocre songs which inexplicably got a ton of radio play (probably because they were “cross-over” songs, kinda rocking but still poppy enough to be played after Britney on other radio stations), and now they’re among the most successful musicians of our generation. People who are passionate about music could, and some do, take that as an insult.

  90. 90.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Jeffro:

    I think they chose the name because after a show, when people would ask for a refund the ticket seller would tell them You’re not getting a nickel back.”

    Makes sense to me.

  91. 91.

    kasnarski

    Guns n Roses HAS to be the most over-rated band in the history of over-rated bands.

    One decent album (their first) and that’s questionable and they get inducted into the rock n roll hall of fame?

    puh-lease

  92. 92.

    nastybrutishntall

    How many hammers would it take to equal an Adele show? Maybe a glass sandwich plus a hundred hammers if Florence and the Machine is opening.

  93. 93.

    Captain C

    @Jeffro:

    I just want to know how it all went down…”we need a kicka$$ band name…something that reminds people of buying a $.95 item with a buck…’Five Cents Refunded’?…no, that’s not it…”

    I suspect, any official story nonwithstanding, that they were originally called “Nickelbag” until their record label told them to change it.

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