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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Bad like Jesse James

Bad like Jesse James

by DougJ|  July 18, 20122:56 pm| 72 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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One more for the road….

I think this is correct — Romney doesn’t want to go Full Metal Birther on Obama but he has to at least pretend that he will in order to keep the nuts happy.

What Romney is really doing — as I’ve been saying for days — is trying to placate his rabid base, and also his big donors, who may be zillionaires but are still angry old white male cranks who constantly watch Fox News just like all the other angry old white male cranks in America.

The base and the donors just can’t believe that all these timeworn lines of attack are unpersuasive to swing voters — Valerie Jarrett and Fast and Furious make their blood boil, so surely the rest of the public must feel the same way, right? The public just doesn’t know! It’s because Obama wasn’t vetted! The lie-beral media didn’t do its job four years ago!

The Republican primaries had a definite “Quien es mas macho” vibe — that’s why Mitt frequently trailed luminaries like Herman Cain and Donald Trump. The base wants the kind of winger who’s built to last, you fuck with him he’ll put his foot in your ass, so Mitt has to talk a tough game.

I doubt he has the balls to go through with much of it.

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Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    July 18, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Romney doesn’t want to go Full Metal Birther on Obama but he has to at least pretend that he will in order to keep the nuts happy

    Maybe you didn’t intend to but this sounds like you are giving Romney the benefit of the doubt with regards to his intentions. Just like I hear so often: He’s not really a rabid conservative and he’ll govern moderately if elected.

    I object. Assumes facts not in evidence.

  2. 2.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    and also his big donors, who may be zillionaires but are still angry old white male cranks who constantly watch Fox News just like all the other angry old white male cranks in America.

    Is it Ricketts? The Chicago founder of Ameri-Trade who totally has no connection with lovable losers’ baseball team he bought for his adult children?

    I was clicking through to the weather channel about an hour ago, and some fourteen year old looking wing nut was trying to sell the “Why should Romney release he tax returns when Obama hasn’t released his college transcripts?” I don’t know if tote-baggers and indies can/will pick up on the racist subtext of that, but this winger and his ilk are really too dumb to know how dumb they sound to people who don’t think Saddam hid the WMDs in the desert and Sarah Palin would totally win 48 states if she wasn’t such a devoted mother. “Epistemic closure”, and whatnot. Tamron Hall laughed in his face.

  3. 3.

    beltane

    July 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    @Comrade Javamanphil: It’s entirely possible that Romney is reticent about going Full Metal Birther, not because he is an honorable man, but because he is aware that by doing so he would look like a desperate idiot to non-teabaggers, i.e. normal people.

  4. 4.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    This comment was for the wrong thread…

    So, replaced it with thanks to DougJ for providing more good news of Romney/GOP panic desperation and fail.

    And looks like confusion and division too. Oh Boy!

  5. 5.

    taylormattd

    July 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Doug, was Freddie not enough? You had to invite another Naderite to post here? Is there a quota to fill or something?

  6. 6.

    SteveM

    July 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Thanks for the link (again), Doug — but I think you wanted this one.

  7. 7.

    Punchy

    July 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    you fuck with him he’ll put his foot in your ass

    Did you just drop a Geto Boys ref? Does Romney also plan to beat ya momma’s ass then go get a six-pack?

  8. 8.

    PeakVT

    July 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Who knows what Romney wants. All I know is he is doing a shitty job of doing whatever it takes to win.

  9. 9.

    NonyNony

    July 18, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    First, your link is wrong – this is the one I think you meant.

    Second of all – I’m not buying it. Not completely.

    This actually seems much more like another “I know you are but what am I” attack from Romney. “Obama is the real liar!”, “Obama is the one with the funny singing voice!”, “Obama is the one with the shady past!”.

    It isn’t that Romney is doing this to placate his base, it’s because he’s run out of ideas. His “positives” have turned to negatives right before his eyes and he hasn’t figured out a way to make it back. So his team is resorting to “no, YOU’RE the poopyhead” tactics. And this is just another version of that.

  10. 10.

    Calouste

    July 18, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Well, if Romney wants to release his college transcripts and application as well. In as far as his application consists of more than his name, date of birth and a big fat check from his dad.

  11. 11.

    Liberty60

    July 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Romney may not have the balls, but he also doesn’t have the scruples not to.

    I am imagining Mitt in McCain’s famous moment where he corrected that woman who was saying Obama was a muslim. I bet a week’s pay Mitt would have silently grinned through the whole thing.

  12. 12.

    Face

    July 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    I was clicking through to the weather channel about an hour ago, and some fourteen year old looking wing nut was trying to sell

    Is Jim Cantore’s son now writing for Red State?

  13. 13.

    shortstop

    July 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Ricketts, Adelson, Trump, the aspirin-knees guy whose name escapes me…so much money, so much privilege, so much crazy.

  14. 14.

    Bubblegum Tate

    July 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    @Punchy:

    Did you just drop a Geto Boys ref?

    NWA–“Gangsta, Gangsta”

  15. 15.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    ” I doubt he has the balls to go through with much of it. ”

    And, Romney may sense the implications of having to go through debates with Obama, and his veep nom with Biden.

    Nasty campaign focused on personal history mud fights coupled with lackluster debate performances would be very not good way to enter last phase of campaign.

    Edit: Am assuming the Romney does not believe that Obama will be pushover in debates. I think Romney is such bigot on so many issues, but I also think he has not drunk the kool aid to the extent that the crazy GOP base has.

  16. 16.

    Face

    July 18, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    “Why should Romney release he tax returns when Obama hasn’t released his college transcripts?”

    Just in time for Sheriff Arpaio to declare the transcripts fradulent because, well, shut up, that’s why

  17. 17.

    scav

    July 18, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    OT of Deary Deary Dear. How quickly cute little toddlers grow up and impose their first enforcement action: Consumer Watchdog Fines Capital One for Deceptive Credit Card Practices

    As part of the deal with the consumer bureau, Capital One must reimburse about $140 million to customers. In a separate legal action, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, which regulates national banks, also sanctioned Capital One for bogus billing practices that spanned nearly a decade.

    Between the restitution to customers and the fines to regulators, the bank will pay $210 million to settle the actions.

    I know, I know, never enough to please some, but a good (dare we say Capital?) first (#1?) steps for a toddler.

  18. 18.

    srv

    July 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Why can’t you liberals understand that Mitt is just a victim of a non-flat Tax Code. Probably designed to screw his chances in 2012, just like the Batman movie.

  19. 19.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    July 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Mitt Romney is John McCain without the je ne sais quoi.

  20. 20.

    NickM

    July 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    But Obama’s campaign is more like
    Left-right-left-right – you’re toothless
    and then you say, “goddamn they ruthless.”

  21. 21.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    @shortstop: Trump and his birtherism actually interest me. He was a late adopter, as I recall he kind of revived a dead myth, more because it was the only way he could get attention once he had to admit he couldn’t run for president, than because he actually care about/believed in it. I swear I will give a hundred dollars to the preferred charity of any non-MSNBC TeeVee journamalist who challenged Fernstrom or any other Romney surrogate who challenge the “decent man’s” affiliation with the short fingered, possum-headed vulgarian birther.

    @jl: I don’t think Willard thinks Obama will be a pushover, but Willard does believe in Willard’s superiority to everyone else, I think it’s the only thing he really does believe in. I don’t think he’ll be able to control his condescension. To Obama, and to the moderators.

  22. 22.

    ploeg

    July 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Mitt Romney is not a lose-with-grace-and-dignity sort of guy. If Mitt thinks that Obama is playing him dirty, Mitt will head the ship straight into the sewer, and Mitt seems to be fairly easy to convince that Obama is playing him dirty.

  23. 23.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    @ploeg:

    I think it is simpler:

    ” Mitt Romney is not a lose-with-grace-and-dignity sort of guy. If Mitt thinks that Obama is playing him dirty, Mitt will head the ship straight into the sewer, and Mitt seems to be fairly easy to convince that Obama is playing him dirty. “

  24. 24.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    @The Ancient Randonneur:

    ” Mitt Romney is John McCain without the je ne sais quoi. ”

    You mean Romney can remember how many mansions he owns? Probably so.

  25. 25.

    Lurking Canadian

    July 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Mitt seems to be fairly easy to convince that Obama is playing him dirty.

    Mitt seems to be convinced that Obama is playing dirty simply by playing. Anything short of rolling over and showing his belly is “playing dirty”.

  26. 26.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    The ‘base’ just wants people who act like they’re tough bad-asses. They don’t care whether or not they’re actually bad-ass.

    George W. Bush Jr. as bad-ass? Get real. Laughable. But as a tough-talkin’ nit-wit, that was good enough. Biggest terror attack ever takes place on his watch, and all he has to say is ‘dead or alive’ and ‘withus or agin’us’ and he’s a bad-ass. Wears his spandex and rides his mountain bike and falls off repeatedly, but gets all snippy at the debates, and he’s a bad-ass. So on and so forth.

    Also, Ann Romney’s Horse Hangs Out With Assholes. (H/T Charles Pierce.)

    So, part of my job as a Deadspin intern has involved writing some those fun Olympic field guides that you may have seen on the site recently.
    __
    Today I started writing one about Ann Romney’s dressage horse, Rafalca, who will be competing in the London Olympics. I wanted to get a nice photo of Rafalca to run with the story, and I ran across a site called Dressage-News.com that had multiple photos of Rafalca in action.
    __
    I reached out to Ken Braddick, the proprietor of the site, to see if he might be willing to allow me to use one of his photos, with full credit given.
    __
    What follows is my e-mail exchange with Mr. Braddick:
    __
    Me:

    Hello Ken,
    __
    I am writing a story about Ann Romney and her horse Rafalca for Deadspin.com as part of our Olympic coverage. I was wondering if you might allow us to use some of the photos from this story: http://www.dressage-news.com/?p=16317 to go along with our piece. We will of course give full credit for the photos to you and your site.
    __
    Thanks,
    __Tom Ley, Deadspin.com…

    Ken:

    Afraid not. No permission is granted.
    __
    I don’t know Deaddspin.com.
    __
    KENNETH J. BRADDICK

    Me:

    We are a Gawker Media property with 2.3 million monthly readers.
    __
    If we were able to use some of your photos, it might help generate some increased interest in your site.
    __
    Thanks,
    __
    Tom

    [Response]

    Ken:
    __
    I have twice your viewership. According to the latest market survey released end of June dressage-news.com is #1 equestrian Internet site in world in both viewers and credibility.
    __
    I spend a fortune covering equestrian events around the world.
    __
    I don’t know what your site will do to increase my viewership/credibility.
    __
    I think I know my industry well and do not want my images, acquired at enormous cost (I’ve been in Germany since July 2, heading to London tomorrow and will be there through the Olympics, my third trip to Europe this year) used for purposes other than the way I present them.
    __
    I do not sell my photos, so by implication don’t care about expsue to a “larger” audience.
    __
    Sorry

    And scene. If you weren’t already convinced that dressage is a sport that is populated and appreciated largely by snooty assholes, you probably are now.

    I am become Elmer J. Fudd, miwwionaire of wurlds. I own a mansion and a yacht.

    Maybe even better, this comment on the post carrying Braddock’s ire to its proper, higher degree of snoot:

    [comment by BronzeHammer]
    __
    I think I know my industry well and do not want my images, acquired at enormous cost…used for purposes other than the way I present them.
    __
    I do not sell my photos, so by implication don’t care about expsue to a “larger” audience.
    __
    In fact, I don’t care about any audience at all. Frankly, if I had my druthers, I would prefer the audience to be as small as possible. I’ve actually looked in to having my site blocked off from visitors entirely. I think I’ll take my site offline. Now, Dressage-News.com is a scrapbook I keep in my oak secretary in the hall. I burned the scrapbook. Now, all I have is my memories. This lobotomy should take care of that.
    __
    It’s dark and I’m alone. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know who I am. But something deep in the recesses of my mind….a figment of my imagination? No. A reminder of someone I used to be. The walls of my padded cell tell the story, a simple story scrawled in my own blood. A plea.
    __
    DRESSAGE

    I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row…

  27. 27.

    Violet

    July 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Romney’s not the muscle. He hires people to be the muscle. In the business world it can all be done under the table. Notsomuch in politics where he’s got to be out there on the stump every day (unless he’s taking yet another vacation, in yet another summer home).

    So it’s not that he doesn’t have the stomach for it. He just has no experience with it and leaves that kind of thing to The Help. Now he has to make a decision and that’s not working very well.

  28. 28.

    pseudonymous in nc

    July 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Trump and his birtherism actually interest me.

    It’s a shibboleth.

  29. 29.

    Calouste

    July 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    but Willard does believe in Willard’s superiority to everyone else,

    To wit, Romney firing his debate coach after the coach got credit for improving Romney debate performance.

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    July 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    This is who the wingnuts really wanted as the nominee.

    http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50252_78345906867_2363995_n.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.facebook.com/pages/Roland-the-Headless-Thompson-gunner/78345906867&h=284&w=200&sz=18&tbnid=nda2-K4ZkPwUyM:&tbnh=92&tbnw=65&prev=/search%3Fq%3Droland%2Bthe%2Bheadless%2Bthompson%2Bgunner%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=roland+the+headless+thompson+gunner&usg=__2QRbbRFmHlYfVaxI9V0zWqfPN94=&docid=kXqn16fUCO6YlM&sa=X&ei=9Q8HUK_PNomW2QW2obAC&ved=0CGYQ9QEwBQ&dur=3213

  31. 31.

    Violet

    July 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    @Lurking Canadian: The wingnuts pretty much think President Obama is dirty because his skin is dark and therefore not clean.

  32. 32.

    Villago Delenda Est

    July 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    The Rethuglican base is not sane.

    That’s the bottom line.

  33. 33.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    He would have done very well in the GOP primary debates.

    An opportunity lost. We missed you, Roland.

  34. 34.

    DougJ

    July 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    @SteveM:

    Thanks, fixed it.

  35. 35.

    shortstop

    July 18, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    @Calouste: What?! I missed this.

  36. 36.

    Nutella

    July 18, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    @Calouste:

    Romney firing his debate coach after the coach got credit for improving Romney debate performance.

    Which makes me wonder who’s going to coach him for the debates with Obama. He got rid of the guy who was really good so he’s going to have to use someone not only less competent but also desperate enough to work for a guy who’ll fire him for doing well.

  37. 37.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    @jl:

    You mean Romney can remember how many mansions he owns? Probably so.

    I bet he sure as hell remembers his badass California mansion with the Bond-villain car elevator.

    Why is that not in an ad yet? C’mon — a car elevator?

    Nobody’s going to watch that and do the stereotypical ‘This is just class envy, I too would like to be successful one day as the American dream promises…’

    No, even that type will look at that and go, ‘Well, um, that’s a bit tacky.’

    Now, if it were all NASCAR painted and shuffled around American muscle cars and Romney was an affable type with a larger-than-life personality who might be inviting viewers in like some cable channel series like Jay Leno, who has an enormous collection of cars, but also works on them and started out as a regular guy, it’d be different.

    Or if he was an over-the-top showoff rap star (more so than ‘who let the dogs out’ awkwardness) doing it partly for the obvious mo money mo money image, it would also work somewhat, showing off for MTV’s cribs.

    Instead you might as well put Romney in the chair with the white long-haired cat and gloves riding his Bentley’s

    I thought that Romney would have done better than all of this had he, instead of playing down his wealth and speaking modestly, he transformed himself into some big-talkin’ big-gold-balls arrogant Republican bragging about his money, sort of a Donald Trump with human hair and controlled speech patterns.

    ‘Me? Rich? Darn right, mother fucker. Here, let me buy you a golden chalice to let your tears drip into, seeing as how you’re not the big success I am. Scared? I thought you’d be.’ The evil, Spock’s beard universe version of Thurston Howell the Third.

    Make the ‘$10,000? $10,000? Would you like to bet $10,000?’ [into just the beginning]

    Fucking hand out $1,000 bills with his signature and ‘Vote Mitt and You’ll Be Earning These Yourself’ on the campaign trail just to look like a bad-ass. The Confederate base would eat that up.

    No, instead Romney’s the uptight boss who is screwing over your pay & benefits this year and always looks like he thinks you just farted in the elevator, or maybe just that you peasants always smell that way to him anyway.

  38. 38.

    Calouste

    July 18, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @shortstop:

    CNN Report

    Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign has parted ways with debate coach Brett O’Donnell, a Romney campaign source confirmed Friday.
    __
    O’Donnell, a former Michele Bachmann adviser who also did debate prep sessions with John McCain and Sarah Palin in 2008, was given credit in several media reports as the man behind Romney’s impressive back-to-back debate performances in Florida.

  39. 39.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    @Nutella: Yeah, but that idiot coach obviously didn’t get a contract before giving Romney those valuable tips.

    So having done his job and given Romney what he wanted, it’s time to boot that coach before he starts to demand higher pay.

    He outsourced his debate coach to save money.

  40. 40.

    Mike in NC

    July 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    From the article:

    Breitbart is now running Romney’s campaign from beyond the grave.

    Maybe because it was beneath Lee Atwater’s dignity.

  41. 41.

    jl

    July 18, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    @El Cid: All the GOP candidates had to find a way to go gonzo apeshit crazy during the primary. Romney went with what he had, as in, I pay every dollar I owe in taxes and a not a dime more!.

    Now he has to live with it.

  42. 42.

    Zach

    July 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    Isn’t it a pretty solid indictment of the efficiency of markets that folks who will argue tooth and nail that society fairly values their labor at tens of thousands of dollars an hour spend any time at all watching Fox News?

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    July 18, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    @NonyNony:

    This actually seems much more like another “I know you are but what am I” attack from Romney. “Obama is the real liar!”, “Obama is the one with the funny singing voice!”, “Obama is the one with the shady past!”.

    “Obama is a ni*CLANG*! Obama is a ni*CLANG*!”

    “What did Rmoney say?”

    “I think he said Obama is near.”

  44. 44.

    Zach

    July 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    @NonyNony: Has anyone made a video combining a supercut of Romney’s favorite response (Obama’s the one with the real war on women! Obama’s the real outsourcer in chief!) and a bunch of 8-year-olds running around yelling “I know you are but what am I?”

  45. 45.

    mai naem

    July 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: There was an Undercover Boss with the Ricketts family and the Cubs. The son who was undercover literally got fired from the janitorial job. Anyhoo, what was disgusting was at the end when one of the guys got a new annual award for employee of the year for $1000. That’s it. $1000. I would be willing to bet that each of the owners’ daily lifestyle cost is more $1000. One guy got a weeks vacation during spring training in AZ with his daughter. Probably comp’d by some hotel in AZ no doubt. One got a paid internship in the Cubs front office because he was graduating from college. Wow!!! I just started watching UB and of the ones I’ve watched the Cubs’ one gave the lowest value “gifts” to their employees.

    Also too, I think SNL should have a running skit with Romney as the boss in UB episodes. There’s so much potential here.

  46. 46.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    @mai naem: When I watched U.B. I was always hopeful, especially in some of the UK and Australian versions, but when the boss experiences some of the real shit the employees put up with and the real hardships they’re confronting.

    But in the end the grand gesture is to give them a vacation or something, because, well, god-damn, you don’t think they’re going to set some expensive precedent just for some TV show, do you?

    Imagine if they gave the guy more than $1,000. Wouldn’t that suggest he deserved even more? And that maybe someone else did, too?

    What, do you think he’s made of money? Well, he might be, but that’s irrelevant, what’s important is shut up.

  47. 47.

    Ash Can

    July 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I’m all for Obama releasing his college transcripts. But only if Mitt releases his too, so they can be compared side-by-side. Ditto for the wives.

  48. 48.

    Mark

    July 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Doug

    Nice NWA quote.

    But would the base vote for Eazy-E?

  49. 49.

    Turgidson

    July 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Romney’s a cornered, wounded animal at the moment. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he unleashes wingnut fury. If he thinks that’s what he needs to do to win, he’ll do it. He may not be foaming at the mouth like Michele or Santorum, etc. but he’s definitely enough of an entitled dick to take the low road if he must.

    Mercifully for the nation and the world, I don’t think bringing up Rev. Wright and Rezko again is going to change enough people’s minds to make a difference.

  50. 50.

    EconWatcher

    July 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    Maybe some other folks don’t, but I give Atwater credit for his conversion when he was dying. He knew he’d done wrong, and said so. That’s worth something.

  51. 51.

    Ash Can

    July 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    @Liberty60: Funny you should mention that. I just spotted a headline/brief blurb on TPM about some woman calling Obama a monster and Romney telling her that’s not the way he’d put it. Since I’m on the FYiPad, it would take me forever to post a link, but the story’s there.

  52. 52.

    John Dillinger

    July 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    It needs to be remembered that if Romney has to feed the base red meat, if not personally then by surrogates, the media could likely cover that at the expense of Mittens coverage.

  53. 53.

    Niques

    July 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    @Zach: I think video of Romney with a child-like voice dubbed in using his very words. Like the Subway commercials.

  54. 54.

    Ash Can

    July 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    @El Cid: LOL! I’m sure one Kenneth J. Braddick is delighted with the extra publicity he’s managed to garner for himself and his site. And his sport.

  55. 55.

    Turgidson

    July 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I don’t think Willard thinks Obama will be a pushover, but Willard does believe in Willard’s superiority to everyone else, I think it’s the only thing he really does believe in. I don’t think he’ll be able to control his condescension. To Obama, and to the moderators.

    If McCain couldn’t keep his contempt under wraps (refusing to shake hands, “that one”) it might be hopeless for Romney. McCain’s a hothead and an asshole, but he has about 5x the self-awareness of Romney, and he couldn’t help himself.

    Heck, Bush spent one of his debates with Kerry furiously rolling his eyes whenever Kerry was answering a question. And Bush, for all his millions of fuckups and faults, was pretty disciplined in the campaign setting.

    So yeah. Romney won’t go the niCLANG route, but he might drop a handkerchief on the ground expecting Obama to rush over to pick it up. (ok ok, he won’t do that either) I do think, at least once, he’ll say something so smugly condescending that even Glenn fucking Kessler might notice.

  56. 56.

    James E. Powell

    July 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Unless something big thing happens, and it can, I see this election as a replay of Clinton-Dole. But unlike Dole, who was okay with losing, Romney will not go down gently.

    This is his one and only chance to be president. Since he was born rich, he gets no satisfaction from being rich. Things like dressage horses and car elevators are as ordinary to him as Big Mac is to ordinary people. He has to be somebody important and honored by the public. If he loses this election, he will be a nobody to history and to most Americans. To the right-wingers, he will be Tony Romo fumbling the snap.

    These factors mean that Romney’s campaign, along with those ‘independent’ campaigns financed by billionaires, will be touched by the darker angels of their nature.

  57. 57.

    SFAW

    July 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    @NickM:

    Nice Loudon Wainwright ref

  58. 58.

    SFAW

    July 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    @Mark:

    No, he’s too West Coast-y.

    Ghostface, on the otha hand …

  59. 59.

    SFAW

    July 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    @El Cid:

    He outsourced his debate coach to save money.

    Actually, he had Sununununu “offshore” the debate coach. Of course, Sununununu took him literally, so the (former) debate coach now has the same accommodations as Osama.

  60. 60.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    @Turgidson:

    Romney’s a cornered, wounded animal at the moment. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he unleashes wingnut fury.

    When these types of uptight super-elites decide to let it rip, it comes out as “unleash Chang“.

    After more than an hour of solemn ceremony naming Rep. Marco Rubio, R-West Miami, as the 2007-08 House speaker, Gov. Jeb Bush stepped to the podium in the House chamber last week and told a short story about “unleashing Chang,” his “mystical warrior” friend.
    __
    Here are Bush’s words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians:

    ”Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.
    __
    ”I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down.”

    Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

    ”I’m going to bestow to you the sword of a great conservative warrior,” he said, as the crowd roared.

    The crowd, however, could be excused for not understanding Bush’s enigmatic foray into the realm of Eastern mysticism. We’re here to help.
    __
    In a 1989 Washington Post article on the politics of tennis, former President George [H. W.] Bush was quoted as threatening to ”unleash Chang” as a means of intimidating other players.
    __
    The saying was apparently quite popular with Gov. Bush’s father, and referred to a legendary warrior named Chang who was called upon to settle political disputes in Chinese dynasties of yore.

    Well, you know those weird conspiratorial third-world Muslims with their primitive tribal warrior tales and all, swinging around swords at public events and such.

    Personally, I was very disappointed with the reason behind the story, because I had hoped it would be the Bush elite establishment’s version of a sophistiated dick joke — like, you know, ‘don’t make me unleash Chang’ as a typically non-contextual macho taunt just implying that one’s male sex organ is huge and powerful and dangerous, despite the fact that it would be weird to talk about exposing oneself at a tennis court as a strategy for victory. I guess you could possibly prompt a forfeit if the opponent just says ‘fuck it’ and leaves.

  61. 61.

    Villago Delenda Est

    July 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    @EconWatcher:

    I question his sincerity, at all times, even on his deathbed.

    A leopard cannot change his spots.

    Atwater was utter scum until he was consigned to oblivion.

  62. 62.

    JR in WV

    July 18, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I don’t think you can be a cruel N*zi bastard all your life, and make everything OK by confessing to all the evil you did on your death-bed.

    All you do is let everyone they should put p–ing on your grave on their bucket list.

    Being evil is something that strips your humanity away forever. There is no way to be evil, totally evil, and get over it nearly instantly just before you check out.

    So if there is an afterlife, Lee is burning. I’m doubting there is an afterlife, but if there is…

  63. 63.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    July 18, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    @El Cid: I think it’s a lot simpler than that. Through the 50s, the conservative Republicans kept talking about unleashing Chiang Kai-Shek from Taiwan to take back mainland China from the Reds.

    I don’t know when the Bushies started this “Mystical Warrior” stuff.

  64. 64.

    Haydnseek

    July 18, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I can’t wait for the debates. Mittens is going to get his ass handed to him, and his people know it. All the Citizens United money and voter suppression bullshit in the world won’t help. Healthcare, Bain Capital, you name it. There is no issue upon which Mittens can make his stand. The economy and jobs? Mittens is Bush all over again. It will be a bloodbath, and the blood won’t be Obamas.

  65. 65.

    Haydnseek

    July 18, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    @jl: We miss Roland, but we miss Warren even more…

  66. 66.

    AA+ Bonds

    July 18, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    The problem is that this is a response to the Obama campaign reviving the Bain story

    And the Obama campaign didn’t plan that; it was handed to them

    So what exactly is going to allow Romney’s campaign to revive these narratives

  67. 67.

    Haydnseek

    July 18, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    @Mark: Nah, their base is more Laz-E-Boy…

  68. 68.

    LanceThruster

    July 18, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    I doubt he has the balls to go through with much of it.

    I’ll bet you $10,000 right now that you’re correct.

  69. 69.

    Joel

    July 18, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    And battling Obama is hazardous to your health
    So put a quarter in your ass ’cause you played yourself

  70. 70.

    El Cid

    July 18, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: No, no, that’s not the sole referent. There really was a famous ancient Chinese warrior named (in the most common transliteration) Chang.

    Chang Yuchun (Chinese: 常遇春; pinyin: Cháng Yùchūn; 1330–1369), style name Boren (伯仁) and pseudonym Yanheng (燕衡), was a Chinese Muslim[1][2] military general.
    __
    He was a follower of the Ming Dynasty’s founder, Zhu Yuanzhang, and contributed greatly to the founding of the dynasty. Chang was famous for his bravery and formidable prowess in battle, which earned him the nickname of “Chang Ten Thousand”, because he alone was said to be as effective as a force of 10,000 troops.

    As many times as Bush Sr. had to hear Bircherite nuts venting about how the US ‘lost’ China to some fantasies of letting Chiang Kai Shek ‘really’ fight, he would have been using that version of it sarcastically — I’d bet you.

    But I don’t think even Bush Sr. would be pulling a reference out to a sarcastic mocking of Bircherite theories of Chiang Kai Shek to taunt his tennis rivals, much less do so as a solemn invocation of lingering bitterness over the 1949 revolutionary victory.

    And especially not with his kids. Even if the story began as Bush Sr. mocking the Bircherite China fantasies, I’m sure he would have adopted a more comprehensible story to his kids.

    Now, though, I’m sure if you were to have pointed out to Jeb that he was praising OMG a MUSLIN KILLAR he’d stop using the weirdo tale.

  71. 71.

    Sammy

    July 19, 2012 at 2:13 am

    When is Mitt going to tell us what he wants to do as President?

  72. 72.

    Yutsano

    July 19, 2012 at 2:28 am

    @Sammy: You have to elect him first. Then he’ll tell you his plans. And not a second before prole.

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