Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

White supremacy is terrorism.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

If marriage is the equivalent of selling yourself into slavery, women with self respect should reject the offer.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Democrats are back in array!

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

It’s a new day. Light all those Biden polls of young people on fire and throw away the ashes.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

You are here: Home / Politics / Crazification Factor / My Money’s on the Hologram

My Money’s on the Hologram

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The Wall Street Journal reports that Republicans are trying to gin up some excitement with a stunt:

Buried deep in the convention schedule released Monday is a vague reference to a mystery speaker scheduled for the event’s final evening. “To Be Announced” has a prime speaking slot late in the Thursday program.

…The only other speakers to follow “To Be Announced” will be Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and Mr. Romney himself, suggesting that the unnamed guest may appear during the 10 p.m. hour when the networks all will be broadcasting the convention.

… The line-up features a long list of governors and senators, including New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio. Former presidential candidates Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich are on the agenda, as are former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Former Vice President Dick Cheney and former President George W. Bush have said they won’t be attending, but a video from Mr. Bush is on Wednesday’s program.

So who’s left? Stay tuned….

A survey follows asking for a vote on several possibilities: Zell Miller, Ted Nugent, David Petraeus, Nancy Reagan, Chesley Sullenberger, Sarah Palin.

National Review‘s Jim Geraghty really thinks it might be Palin:

The more you think about the idea, the more it makes sense — whatever controversy and intense reactions Sarah Palin may bring to whatever she does, if there is one thing we know she does exceptionally well, it is give convention speeches! This wouldn’t mean turning her into an official Romney surrogate or putting her in a Romney cabinet or anything like that — just giving one of the Republican figures most beloved by the grassroots — or at least a large and vocal segment of the grassroots — a chance to fire up the base and discuss why it is so important that everyone pull out all the stops for Romney.

If God existed, She wouldn’t love me enough to do this. Seriously — on the last night of prime time, you’re going to utterly destroy any good feeling you’ve engendered with swing voters by putting up a Sarah Palin speech?

I don’t see why there’d be secrecy about any of the other names of the Journal‘s list. I suppose the speaker could be Ron or Rand Paul (whose name might be withheld to keep the Paulbots from bouncing off the walls for the next couple of days). Maybe it’s a flipped Democrat. (Yeah, Artur Davis is speaking at the RNC, but he’s canceled out by Charlie Crist speaking for the Dems, so perhaps Repubs will put up someone like Joe Manchin or Jim Webb in order to win 2-1. Or, God help us, maybe it’s Lieberman again.) Could it be a masked SEAL going McCarthyite on Obama?

And then there’s this possibility, cited by Geraghty:

… Nick Schultz came up with the only idea that could excite the crowd even more: “Hologram Reagan a la Tupac?”

(If you don’t understand the reference, the deceased rapper appeared to “perform” at the Coachella Valley Music & Arts festival through the use of a hologram. Details here.)

Now, that sounds utterly plausible, coming from these folks.

My money’s on the hologram.

(X-posted at No More Mister Nice Blog.)

Reader Interactions

301Comments

  6. 6.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    so perhaps Repubs will put up someone like Joe Manchin or Jim Webb in order to win 2-1.

    Webb switched parties because of foreign policy, I would bet that he, unlike most of the media, is paying attention to Willard’s growing neo-conism. Manchin? Hell I’m a political junkie and I keep forgetting about Manchin. Petraeus comes off as too cautious to take part in a stunt like this. McCrystal is a more likely possibility.
    ETA: I don’t think Willard would want to risk being eclipsed by Palin, but I said that’s why he wouldn’t pick Ryan as Veep. Deficit peacock Evan Bayh is also a possibility

  8. 8.

    nitpicker

    Actually, I think the Dems should have a Reagan hologram show up, touting his support for unions, the separation of church and state and all other manner of things that would make him unelectable in today’s Republican party.

  9. 9.

    jwb

    Has Palin been pouting much recently about being excluded from the convention? I don’t pay any attention to her any more, so I can’t say, but I suspect a Palin watcher could tell us whether it is her from her recent activity.

  10. 10.

    artem1s

    teh Donald was on something, NPR maybe, yesterday hinting at some super secret thing he was going to do at the convention.

    my money is on the Dumbster screaming ‘you’re fired, N-Clang’ at a hanging effigy of the President.

    They’ll film it in IMAX and 3-D and make millions selling copies to rabid Paulites in Iowa and Nashua in 4 years.

  11. 11.

    jibeaux

    It’s not going to be SP, but SP is the only one who occurs to me who would really justify doing a whole To Be Announced International Person of Mystery guessing game. So my guess is it’s going to be kind of a letdown.

  12. 12.

    Culture of Truth

    Chris Christie, on Romney’s taxes:

    “Here’s the good news: I don’t have enough money to send to tax havens, so I never had to confront that issue.”

    Fuck you Mitt Romney. Dead. Buried. Gone. Jersey-style.

  15. 15.

    kindness

    It’s a secret because Luntz found Sarah Palin scored horribly in polls and Karl Rove hasn’t figured out how to blame & tie President Obama to Sarah Palin yet.

    Shhhhh! It’s a secret.

  16. 16.

    PaulW

    I’m hoping for the hologram, and I’m hoping for it to get stuck in a loop saying “well… well… well… well… well…” until everyone goes mad.

  18. 18.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Culture of Truth: there’s a clip of Romney with Chris Wallace saying that he didn’t pay one dollar less in taxes because of his foreign havens. Can the man really not see that he just wrote an ad for the Obama SuperPAC?

  19. 19.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @Culture of Truth: Interesting thought: What if the Republican establishment knew they were going to lose this election, so they figured they would use this one to get rid of Romney.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Roger Moore:

    This is the equivalent of a zombie stalking Homer Simpson, and then turning away, trying to find Lisa for sustenance.

    Unfortunately for the zombie, there are no Lisas at the GOP convention.

  21. 21.

    Suffern ACE

    Bibi. I’ll go with Bibi. To announce that we need to vote for Romney or he’ll bomb Iran himself and cut us out of the action.

    Or maybe Rush.

  23. 23.

    Zifnab

    If God existed, She wouldn’t love me enough to do this. Seriously—on the last night of prime time, you’re going to utterly destroy any good feeling you’ve engendered with swing voters by putting up a Sarah Palin speech?

    Wait, are independents even still allowed to vote? Who the fuck cares what they think. August will be a distant memory by the time they are herded into polling booths and allowed to flip a coin to see who they vote for.

  24. 24.

    Erik Vanderhoff

    It will not be David Petraeus. He is currently serving as head of the CIA.

    My money is on former General Stanley McChrystal or Dick Cheney.

  25. 25.

    Culture of Truth

    Surprise guest Vampire Isaac Newton will come out against gay marriage. Then Zombie Michelangelo and Stiched-Together-Body-Parts Leonardo DaVinci will together storm the stage and drive a stake through Sir Isaac’s heart. While Spanish fresco-restoring lady distracts the Renaissance artists, Dinosaur-riding Jesus decapitates them with a flaming sword. Cue balloon drop.

  27. 27.

    Brooklyn Michael

    You’re close, but I think they’ve actually reanimated Reagan’s corpse. Zombie Reagan RARRRGGGHHH!

    …or at least I hope so.

  28. 28.

    jwb

    Why is this election so boring despite the fact that it’s not going too far to say that the whole world hangs on the outcome? Because the only question that is actually in play is whether spending $2 billion repeating a lie is sufficient to move the electorate 5 points (my sense, from how the media and pols are behaving, of where the horse race actually is rather than where the media-sponsored polls are trying to convince us it is).

  29. 29.

    Culture of Truth

    If it’s Cheney, it’ll be like Willis Reed limping into the playoffs. The Democrats will cede the election right there. Cue balloon drop.

  32. 32.

    General Stuck

    “Hologram Reagan a la Tupac?”

    Shirley they wouldn’t dare enter that dimension of weird shit. Maybe Cristine O’Donnell will conjure The Gipper because she’s not a witch.

    I’m betting on some mystery DINO, al la Lieberman. Probly some third way clown.

  33. 33.

    jwb

    @ODB: This sounds like something Mittwit would think was both funny and a good idea. It’s also the dick-like move that is so characteristic of Mittwit. Therefore, I find it the most plausible of scenarios so far floated.

  35. 35.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    Kind of depends on who still counts as the Republican “establishment”. I don’t believe the people still running the show are capable of thinking that strategically.

    Besides, Romney bought this nomination fair and square.

  37. 37.

    Thoughtcrime

    @ODB:

    “Donald Trump will fire an Obama impersonator.”

    I would love for them to end their convention by tying Romney to big birther and reminding people how Romney loves to fire people –doubleplusgood!

  38. 38.

    Culture of Truth

    Sarah Palin will give a rousing speech, then announce that Snooki is actually her daughter, Xanadu Palin. She will then hold Snooki’s baby, named Ronald Reagan Palin Polizzi, aloft, Lion King-style. The hushed crowd bows down. Cue balloon drop.

  39. 39.

    Zifnab

    @jwb: I know what you mean. It’s like the nation is waiting to see its fate decided by a single hand of Texas Hold’em when Romney’s already gone all in before the flop. Now we just have to sit around for three months waiting for the dealer to flip cards. :-p

    It’s tense, but it’s not really entertaining.

  40. 40.

    nitpicker

    @General Stuck: I so hope so. The best way for this to blow up in their faces is to get hopes up for something awesome and then bring out ol’ Droopy Dawg.

  42. 42.

    Chyron HR

    It’ll be someone that nobody, including half of the convention-goers, has ever heard of.

    Just like all of the other brave champions and mortal enemies of the modern GOP.

  43. 43.

    Zifnab

    @Nina: Lieberman was the face man for repealing DADT. And he’s not nearly pro-life enough. Also, he’s retiring in 2012. He’d be a dud if he wasn’t radioactive. They’ll put up Rachel Maddow before they put up Joe Lieberman.

  44. 44.

    Mark S.

    A survey follows asking for a vote on several possibilities: Zell Miller, Ted Nugent, David Petraeus, Nancy Reagan, Chesley Sullenberger, Sarah Palin.

    Of that list, it’s gotta be Palin, unless Mitt’s people don’t understand the concept of a surprise guest. Then again, knowing these guys, it might be Rob Portman.

    Who the hell is Chesley Sullenberger?

  45. 45.

    Culture of Truth

    Chesley Sullenberger?
    Sullenberger condemned the bottom-line mentality of the airlines that he said was driving experienced pilots such as himself out of the business.

    “I do not like what has happened,” Sullenberger said. “They have used airline employees as an ATM,” he said, charging that his own pay has been cut 40% and while his pension was terminated.

  47. 47.

    The Other Chuck

    My guess is it’s someone nobody has ever heard of and they’re manufacturing drama to give flavor to a giant nothingburger. *That* sounds more like Mitt’s style.

  50. 50.

    Culture of Truth

    In all seriousness, could it be Ron Paul? I mean, you know Paul wants to speak, and Mitt wants his voters, but they could be negotiating over what he will say. Hence, TBA. I also would not rule out Herman Cain, as daffy as that sounds.

  52. 52.

    SenyorDave

    @nitpicker: Can’t see Palin, she polls terribly outside her base, can’t see Trump since he’s a serious Birther (they want Birther light), can’t see Lieberman he’ll put them to sleep, no chance for Patreus since he’s CIA head. Cheney is hated by everyone except the insane base. Same for Limbaugh.

    I’d say Evan Bayh, even though I believe no one really gives a shit about him.

    Palin is the only rock star the GOP had since Reagan and she blew up in their face.

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @ODB: Yeah, my money is on Trump. It is what a stupid person would picture as clever. Hologram Reagan is too clever for them and I doubt that Romney would take the chance of being outshone by an incorporeal dead guy.

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @ODB: Yeah, my money is on Trump. It is what a stupid person would picture as clever. Hologram Reagan is too clever for them and I doubt that Romney would take the chance of being outshone by an incorporeal dead guy.

  57. 57.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Erik Vanderhoff:
    Can’t be Cheney. Even his own party doesn’t like him. ONLY the Beltway Punditry think Cheney is awesome. He’s universally loathed.

    Having watched the Romney campaign so far, it will either A) be someone good at ramping up the lowbrow race baiting who will make the entire party look like gargoyles, or B) the ‘mystery guest’ hype is the actual plan and the guest will be an utter letdown. I’m going with B. Wishy washy plans a 12 year old would reject are the Romney team’s modus operandi.

  58. 58.

    Dave

    It’s has to be Palin. Otherwise the buildup won’t match the delivery. Can you imagine the reaction to three days of buildup, culminating with McChrystal? Or Lieberman (who is too liberal for the whackadoodles running the GOP)?

    On the other hand, would Palin be the high-point for the red-meat crowd and Romney’s acceptance a let-down from that emotional high? Either way, I hope it’s true because that would be another self-inflicted injury for the GOP.

  61. 61.

    The Dangerman

    …but a video from Mr. Bush is on Wednesday’s program.

    Filmed at the ranch and sent to the convention? I hope they didn’t send the ranch porn.

  62. 62.

    Mike E

    If we are taking long odds, then don’t count out Dennis Miller bobble-heading his way out on stage. He was on Leno last night talking shit about Biden, setting up Ryan’s VP debateFAIL perfectly.

    So much bed shitting to do, so many clean silk sheets out there, beckoning…

    ETA and Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem!

  63. 63.

    Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (formerly Horrendo Slapp, Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    I live in Virginia, and I don’t think Webb would do something like that. He was an early backer of President Obama for one thing. And while he can kind of shoot his mouth off sometimes in a way that can drive Democrats nuts, he’s been on the right side of all the important votes. I kind of see him as a Democratic version of Olympia Snowe or Susan Collins: He’ll vote the other way once in a while, on a vote where the Democrats don’t need him, maybe to shore up his credentials as a “moderate”, but when Reid needs every Democratic vote, he can count on him. Also, he doesn’t pull cheesy shit, holding out for all kinds of shit, the way Landrieu and Ben Nelson do. I don’t see him showing up at the Republican Convention. I can’t see any way that would happen.

  64. 64.

    Roger Moore

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Wishy washy plans a 12 year old would reject are the Romney team’s modus operandi.

    The “12 year old” think makes me think maybe it will be one of these kids from YouTube who has learned to mindlessly repeat his parents’ talking points. “See, even this 12 year old has learned how bad Obama is” would be the perfect talking point for the Republican convention.

  65. 65.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    It’s the head of the KKK. If you’re gonna go birther, you might as well go all the way.

  67. 67.

    Kane

    Put Palin or Trump out there on Thursday night with Rubio and Romney, and guess who will get the bulk of the headlines and media attention on Friday. A stirring speech by Palin or Trump could remind republicans once again that they have the nominee they didn’t want.

  68. 68.

    BGinCHI

    Obviously it’s going to be Jim Hoft.

    He’s too smart and good-looking to keep off that convention line-up.

  72. 72.

    askew

    My guesses:

    1. Ron Paul – That would make the convention hall go nuts.

    2. Sarah Palin

    3. One of the Bushes

  73. 73.

    Ash Can

    I think Hologram Zombie Reagan is a plausible possibility, but what could they show him actually saying that wouldn’t have the Teahadists’ heads exploding? I think Chuck Norris is a possibility too; he’s fucked in the head enough to appeal to the convention goers. I also consider a 100% pure all-air nothingburger to be a strong possibility too — someone who, when introduced, will make half the people watching say “who’s s/he” and the other half say “who gives a shit.”

  74. 74.

    sophronia

    Maybe they’re planning to raise Andrew Breitbart from the dead?

    At this point they’d probably be happier with him than with a zombie Ronald Reagan, who actually had a few sane positions on issues.

  75. 75.

    Kane

    You know your campaign is in trouble when you have to resort to gimmicks of a mystery speaker to get people to tune in on the night that the nominee accepts the nomination.

  77. 77.

    JPL

    Arianna Huffington! Nah she is to difficult to understand. It has to be someone though that broadens the base. There are only so many dirty old white men.

  79. 79.

    Basilisc

    So now they’re predicting Isaac will eventually veer towards Chicago (link). How long before the right-wing glee begins, along with the charge that this is just deserts for all those left-wingers who “wanted” it to hit Tampa?

    Can’t wait for all of this to be over (it never is).

  82. 82.

    El Cid

    Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki, who will tell the eager audience that he has secret evidence of Obama’s birth in Kenya; it will be made available to anyone who wishes, though it will be necessary to send in a contact e-mail and a deposit fee which you can make by sending in your bank account info.

  84. 84.

    Matt McIrvin

    That wasn’t a hologram! It was a Pepper’s Ghost.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepper's_ghost

    In general, about 80% of the things people say are holograms aren’t holograms. Often they’re either Pepper’s Ghosts or stereoscopic images made with lenticular plastic. The little Visa bird on your credit card actually is a hologram, albeit not a very impressive one.

    (Sorry, this is a sore point with me.)

  85. 85.

    Ash Can

    There’s also the possibility that they’re still trying to persuade this speaker to appear at this shitshow, hence the mystery/TBA aspect of this. If this mystery guest turns out to be one of the Romney sons, we’ll know that’s what happened, and that they weren’t successful.

  89. 89.

    kd bart

    I’ve been going with Hologram Jay Gould all this time. A rousing speech on the virtues of Gilded Age Economics.

  91. 91.

    Roger Moore

    @Ash Can:

    I think Hologram Zombie Reagan is a plausible possibility, but what could they show him actually saying that wouldn’t have the Teahadists’ heads exploding?

    You’d just use a list of wingnut approved one liners and sound bites. You know, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'”, “Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall”, “Government is the problem, not the solution”, etc. Plus you could have some extensive quotes from his speech against Medicare, which would feed right in to the Romney/Ryan platform.

  92. 92.

    jibeaux

    The only people who come to mind who would actually be a real coup to get I don’t think would do it. Colin Powell burnt that bridge pretty good in ’08. Condi doesn’t seem interested enough in politics to risk it. Not going to be Petraeus. It will be a letdown, I predict again.

  93. 93.

    Basilisc

    How about Aaahnold?

    Amazing how he’s dropped out of sight lately, though not so amazing considering the complete mess he left in Califawniah. Of course, non-Californians, esp the Republican carnivores, still love him (and, yes, including in “that way”, though they’d angrily deny it).

    Sure, he’s expressed opposition to the party’s nutjob positions, but I think he’s just enough of a crowd-hungry megalomaniac to put aside his principles (if he had any) and do it.

  94. 94.

    Violet

    @rea: Nothing could sum up the Republicans better than them having Osama bin Laden address their convention. Even in hologram form.

  95. 95.

    mamayaga

    @Basilisc: By the time it gets to Chicago it will be just a bad rainstorm, and we could use the rain. God really doesn’t love them that much.

  96. 96.

    Roger Moore

    @JPL:

    It has to be someone though that broadens the base.

    LOL. The Republicans gave up on broadening the base a long time ago. They’re not going to try anything radical like that at the last minute. Nah, they’re just going to have somebody on to lead the traditional two minutes of hate.

  99. 99.

    soonergrunt (nexus 7)

    @Erik Vanderhoff: I don’t see GEN McChrystal doing that. His staff talked out their asses about VP Biden, but I’ve never heard of him ever saying anything in public about President Obama that was anything but laudable. Even his retirement speech was full of praise. And commissioned officers in retirement are still subject to UCMJ, even as they are generally allowed to speak their minds.
    Of course, I could be wrong.
    My money’s on the leveraged wig firing an Obama impersonator.

  100. 100.

    jibeaux

    It also occurs to me that maybe they had a cancellation or something and just put TBA in there until they could figure out a replacement, and are now going, “oh shit.” Unlikely, but more likely than Ron Paul.

  101. 101.

    El Cid

    Robosaurus Reagan, who will tower 50 feet above the crowd, breathe fire, boom out phrases from Reagan’s greatest hits, and then will pick up and bit through various vehicles decorated as Democratic owned, such as “Nancy Pelosi’s Free Jet,” and the ACORN Black Panther Mobile, and of course the Obama Welfare Wagon.

  102. 102.

    NCSteve

    You know, Disneyworld, with all those animatronic presidents, is just a hop and a skip away. Which one will they crate in? Reagan’s the obvious choice, but traditionally they like to have a high profile Treasoncrat make an appearance. Maybe they could get animatronic JFK to denounce handouts to t-bone steak eating strapping young bucks and a shoutout to the patriots in Philadelphia. (Philadelphia, Mississippi, that is.) Or maybe animatronic FDR will step up to denounce Obamacare and socialism.

    Or maybe they’ll pull a less revisionist trifecta and have Washington, Jefferson and Jackson give America a resounding defense of unfettered property rights and explain the miracle of job creation through reduced wages.

  103. 103.

    ? Martin

    Interestingly, according to my TV schedule, MSNBC is covering all of the RNC live, but Fox News isn’t covering hardly any of it. They have their usual lineup going. Not sure what to make of that.

  105. 105.

    Violet

    @jwb:

    Has Palin been pouting much recently about being excluded from the convention? I don’t pay any attention to her any more, so I can’t say, but I suspect a Palin watcher could tell us whether it is her from her recent activity.

    She’s been pouting when she can get airtime. About the only place she gets any TV time is on Hannity. Occasionally Greta whatshername. She’s gone full teabagger, supporting only teabagging candidates in primaries. She’s ticked off she was excluded from the convention.

  106. 106.

    ? Martin

    I’m thinking Glenn Beck in blackface impersonating Obama. And then the following day media coverage will accuse Democrats of being racists for not taking a joke.

  108. 108.

    Culture of Truth

    TBA is 15 minutes of 2 well dressed young men asking if you’ve read the book of mormon.

    Captive audience and all that.

  109. 109.

    Mike in NC

    Charlton Heston and Andrew Breitbart are still dead, so how about Jeb Bush? Or is he already scheduled?

  112. 112.

    Ash Can

    @Basilisc: Not so surprising considering how spectacularly he crashed his marriage, either. My guess is that the planners would be too afraid that an appearance by Ahnold would just make all the press gaggles turn into gossip festivals, and no one would pay any attention to Mitt’s speech.

  115. 115.

    Redshift

    @jibeaux:

    Condi doesn’t seem interested enough in politics to risk it.

    Condi is already on the speakers’ list, as part of their “we can’t be anti-woman, some of our best friends are women!” push.

  116. 116.

    KG

    Palin, and she will end by announcing an independent bid for the White House, this year. And will walk off the stage flipping Mitt the bird

  118. 118.

    waratah

    @JPL: I am thinking that direction, they need help with women and on the medicare issue.
    I really think the women issue but do not know who could possibly fix this issue for them.

  126. 126.

    SatanicPanic

    @Southern Beale: That would actually be a smart move, assuming she’s still healthy enough to do it. For that reason, there is no chance it will happen.

    ETA- I have no idea what her health status is, I’m just convinced that the Romney Team will not do anything smart between now and November.

  131. 131.

    Redshift

    @waratah:

    I really think the women issue but do not know who could possibly fix this issue for them.

    Their only idea on this seems to be to keep trotting out Republican women whose voting records on women’s rights turn out to be as appalling as the men’s. So yeah, they got nothing.

  132. 132.

    Basilisc

    @Ash Can: Yeah, good point – forgot about that. OTOH, they seem pretty forgiving of Newt on that issue, and Reagan for that matter. And McCain. And Rudy G – maybe he’s the one?

  133. 133.

    Culture of Truth

    It’s TBA because a young staffer thought he had scheduled Ronald Reagan but actually booked Ray Nagin.

  137. 137.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Scott S.: Yeah, that’s the only big, non-controversial Republican name. Anything else would be a huge letdown, and even if it’s the anxious hair-do, I think they’re wildly over-estimating people’s interest and affection for her outside that convention hall.

  139. 139.

    Elizabelle

    Bobby Jindal, once the hurricane has passed? Introduced by Nikki Haley, because we know how down the GOP is with America’s changing demographics?

    Republicans are all about the future.

    RE Nancy Reagan: do you think she wants to appear on behalf of a loser? Or waste her Ronnie’s memory on him?

  140. 140.

    AnonPhenom

    @ODB:

    I agree that the Obama impersonator Kevin Michel will make an appearance, but not to be ‘fired’ by human candycorn Trump. Given the venue and audience, I predect a reenactment of the “rehabilitation” scene from the movie Idiocracy.

    Or perhaps the “Ow my ball” bit.

  144. 144.

    japa21

    They hate Akin so much for spilling the beans on their real view of women that it will be Claire McCaskill.

  148. 148.

    shortstop

    @Elizabelle: No, I don’t. Nancy Reagan has made no secret of the fact that many aspects of the modern GOP appall her. She’s not coming out for the worst candidate in living memory.

  149. 149.

    jibeaux

    @Redshift: Well, there went that theory.
    Friend of mine pointed out that they are really sending the women out there to try to push back on the WAW, like with Kay Bailey Hutchison writing an editorial about how her GOP isn’t anti-woman at all, and citing the fact that every single Republican female Senator voted to renew VAWA. Leaving out, naturally, the fact that this constitutes 5 votes and since there were 32 male Republican Senator votes against, the GOP is -27 on renewing VAWA.

  153. 153.

    Amir Khalid

    For the life of me, I don’t see how this is going to look good. After such a build-up, if the Mystery Speaker is someone less exciting than Mitt (assuming that’s even possible) the punters will be badly let down and they won’t be as fired-up for Mitt’s speech. If Mitt is less exciting than the Mystery Speaker, then he’s going to be the let-down, and no one will remember what he said. That is not how the Republican presidential nominee should want to close out the party convention.

  154. 154.

    quannlace

    Well, it’s working in some way. Look at all the time we’re spending here, speculating on it.

  155. 155.

    Ash Can

    @Basilisc: Oh, I’m sure they forgive Ahnold for it too — or would if they thought he was pure wingnut enough — and would be worried only about the appearances factor (cf. Akin). I have my doubts about how they would view the Governator’s ideological purity, though. I seem to recall Ahnold failing to come out in favor of air pollution and against emissions control on at least one occasion, hence no wingnut welfare for him.

  157. 157.

    Culture of Truth

    Guy Who Has Seen Mitt’s Tax Returns And Assures You There’s Nothing Interesting

  161. 161.

    Chris

    @Culture of Truth:

    Oh my God, WTF? First Brooks and now this? It almost sounds like the Republican establishment has given up on Romney and they’re all scrambling to distance themselves from him so their record is clean in 2016.

    (And yes I’m very aware that this isn’t sewn up. It just seems incredible to me that the Goopers are doing this).

  162. 162.

    ericblair

    @Waynski:

    Aaaahnold who was boning Nanny Hispanic? Doubtful.

    If yer a Manly Man, yer perfectly allowed to bone The Help. Well, female Help, anyway, color not important. It was her fault anyway, for leaning over the sofa to get that errant Dorito.

  163. 163.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Ash Can: Pro-choice, pro-gay rights (?) foreign-born Hollywood adulterer with a history of aggressive behavior toward women? Der Gropenator may be the only person they want there less than Palin of The Shrub.

  164. 164.

    cmorenc

    Could it be Colin Powell, i.e. a not-certifiably insane black person to give the racial shit cover? Powell has allowed himself to be used in the past, but OTOH he felt really burned by getting used for the UN/false WMD speech, and he’s retired and wary of getting lured into being a prominent patsy for dubious ulterior motives ever again.

  166. 166.

    Yutsano

    @waratah: Scott Brown and Paul Ryan brohugging. The delegates would be doodling hearts on their notebook covers and squealing with massive delight. And that’s just the male attendees.

    @SteveM: We’d better get TBogg on this!

  167. 167.

    Elizabelle

    The WSJ commenters are having as much fun with this as we are.

    Various suggestions: Hillary Clinton to scold PBO and John Edwards for treating her badly, Michelle Bachmann (“if they’re smart”), “a dog”, Obama “giving a concession speech”, Andrew Breitbart, who’s not dead and showed how easy it is to pull one over on the mainstream media, Alexander Solzhenitsen on the horrors of collectivism (also from behind the big curtain), the governor of the Cayman Islands, the talking dog from the Bush baked beans commercials…

  168. 168.

    cmorenc

    Or, it could be some prominent CEO woman whose mission it is to convince women voters that the GOP pool is safe for even career women to swim in, no war on women here. Because that tack worked so well with Carly Fiona ex-head of HP in California.

  169. 169.

    Violet

    @SteveM: Of course. It has to be Tebow. Exciting enough to get the base all stirred up, but not a political challenge to Romney. Perfect.

    But hasn’t football season started? What’s he doing now?

  170. 170.

    Calouste

    @Amir Khalid:

    no one will remember what [Mitt] said

    That might be a feature, not a bug.

    Of course with Mitt, to know him is to loathe him, so the less the voters actually see or hear him, the better.

  171. 171.

    Citizen_X

    @El Cid:

    “Nancy Pelosi’s Free Jet,” and the ACORN Black Panther Mobile, and of course the Obama Welfare Wagon.

    You left out the Welfare Queen’s Welfare Cadillac.

  172. 172.

    Gravenstone

    Why a hologram, why not the summoned corpse of the (un)real thing? Hell, Republicans have clearly mastered necromancy for several years now. Case in point, one Dick Cheney. Don’t let the fact his ambulatory corpse is requiring the occasional technological tweak to keep moving fool you, its pure dark magick at work here.

  173. 173.

    Kilkee

    This makes me think the Dems really should commission a Ronnie hologram, have him trot out the various sane things he said once in a while about taxes on millionaires and the like. Have it on hand; if the GOP does one, we do one better. If they don’t, maybe we do anyway, just to piss them off.

  179. 179.

    Chris

    @Erik Vanderhoff:

    Not McChrystal. His strategy in Afghanistan was absolutely blasted by the 101 Chairborne types as too nice to the Afghan civilians, too concerned with collateral damage, too politically correct. They think he’s one of those faggy liberal generals castrating our military and stabbing our brave men and women in the back.

    Cheney? Perhaps.

  180. 180.

    Yutsano

    @Kilkee: From looking at the rapid response commercials, I think we have better tech geeks anyway. Of course technology involves that ebil SCIENCE!!

    @NancyDarling:

    The women might be moist.

    Note to self: stock up on brain bleach. :)

  182. 182.

    Violet

    @Kilkee: That would be hilarious. Maybe the Dems could have a sideshow “Reagan hologram booth” where hologram Reagan says all sorts of things that are now considered liberal, with the bonus that attendees could get a video their own Reagan Q&A. Reagan hologram wouldn’t get a prime time slot, but it would go wild on social media with all the political nerds snapping pictures.

  184. 184.

    Suffern ACE

    @SteveM: What about that non-gay diver who won the gold? I remember Karch Karai getting a prime speaking spot in 1992 or 1996 or something like that.

  186. 186.

    dan

    It will be the boss of the Republican crime family, Rush Limbaugh. And he can bounce up and down shaking his conservative man-boobs like he did at CPAC a couple of years ago.

  187. 187.

    Chris

    @cmorenc:

    If it’s a black guy for racial cover, my money is on Allen West, certified bigot. Herman Cain could work too but I don’t think they want the reminder right now.

  191. 191.

    Kilkee

    @Violet: Perfect! And yes, the more I think about it, the more I like every potential permutation of the idea that we steal St. Ronnie and make him our own. Oh sure, it’s bit like a college football prank, stealing Navy’s goat, or something, but you say that like it’s a BAD thing!

  193. 193.

    ? Martin

    @Suffern ACE: There’s an idea. A big retrospective of Obama and everything he did in the first 4 years with McKayla standing there looking unimpressed.

  194. 194.

    Ash Can

    @Kilkee: Hell of an idea. It’d go viral in no time flat. I can just see David Axlerod sitting there in a campaign planning session, with a goofy little grin on his face, saying “Hey, you know what would really make those idiots shit themselves?”

  195. 195.

    gian

    The Pope. Ratzinger? To declare a crusade? They slready have cardinal “15th century was too progressive” Dolan coming…
    Is David Duke available? Bull Connor is long dead…
    Maybe hoogram George Wallace?

  197. 197.

    Culture of Truth

    A wounded veteran who can’t get a job because Obama gave them all to black panthers.

  199. 199.

    danah gaz (fka gaz)

    Do you have any idea how much better off this nation would be if I could get my hands on some zyklon-b, an HVAC uniform, and a plane ticket to florida?

    Maybe I could write off the expense as a tax deductible home improvement.

    ohhh noes. I iz extreme.

    actually I’m not. I’m just tired of these people beating and murdering my friends. seriously. (2006 seattle mass shooting, my trans friends, my gay friends, etc)

  200. 200.

    Violet

    @Kilkee: God, yes, can we steal Reagan? An ad something like: “Reagan wouldn’t be a Republican now. Look at what he said? Reagan is a Democrat. Welcome back to the Democratic Party, Mr. Reagan!”

  201. 201.

    Culture of Truth

    @Violet: It could be a spoof of that video of that guy talking to his 12-year old self.

    You could also do one of Mitt talking to himself from 10 years ago.

  207. 207.

    Felinious Wench

    It’ll be someone who likes a show. Trump is my first guess, but also Rush, Hannity, Glenn Beck (if anyone gives a damn), or some actor, like Palin.

  208. 208.

    Elizabelle

    @gogol’s wife:

    Truly, I don’t see Nancy Reagan doing this either. Even if it was just down the street, or next door.

    Cruising the WSJ comments some more:

    A few WSJ readers rumormongered with Joe Manchin; one asserted he flew to Tampa this morning.

    Lots of Palin love, from “Guns_n_Bibles” and “Democrat Palin Fan”.

    Wesley Snipes.

    Obama’s college transcripts

    Oprah, to say she made an enormous mistake

  209. 209.

    ? Martin

    @Culture of Truth: Actually, what would really twist the knife is an ad showing extracted comments from both George Romney and Reagan on releasing tax returns, immigration, etc. giving advice to a young Mitt.

  210. 210.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Elizabelle: I just got a fund-raising email from Manchin on behalf of Joe Donnelly. Can’t imagine how Manchin’s office got my email for their lists.

  211. 211.

    Ash Can

    @Violet: PS: Of course, how do we know that the Obama campaign hasn’t already done this, and will be rolling it out during the final big-gun volleys this fall?

  212. 212.

    danimal

    While Kodos would be an outside the box choice, sometimes the obvious selection is the obvious selection: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you….Sarah “I may be nuts, and poison to moderates, but Mitt is SOOOOOO desperate to hang on to the base” Palin!

  214. 214.

    MikeF

    It’ll be Tebow. He’ll run onto the stage and Tebow for a full 10-15 seconds while the crowd goes nuts. The upside being that his teammates will never let him forget it.

  217. 217.

    Culture of Truth

    Further advantage is that Tebow played in Florida, and seems to want a career in politics.

  218. 218.

    quannlace

    Victoria Jackson and Dennis Miller to warm up the crowd.

    And to suck all the air out of the room.

  220. 220.

    Kilkee

    @Ash Can: Good point. Although wouldn’t the convention be the perfect setting, both in terms of free ad time/audience and, well, personal appearances?

  223. 223.

    Leo

    Tebow actually seems vaguely plausible. It’s stupid, but it plays right to the base and cuts against the elitist/plutocratic vibe that is R/R’s biggest liability. A stunt like that should backfire, but given the crazy state of the world today, who knows.

  226. 226.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @JPL:

    In order to prove that they are the big tent party, they will have the teletubbies.

    But not the gay one! No GOP tent is that big!!

  229. 229.

    karen marie

    @Scott S.: If not Zombie Reagan, then Nancy, but I’m betting on Zombie Reagan. The Romney campaign has probably done polling to figure out what percentage of mouthbreathers don’t realize Reagan’s dead.

  232. 232.

    mds

    I second the vote for Franklin Graham. Hell, given what a selfish little shit Franklin was over his own mother’s burial wishes, I’d expect him to drag Billy along, fragile poor health notwithstanding. He’s already had Daddy put his name to fundraising letters about the apocalyptic course our nation is currently on, even though Daddy’s been pretty buddy-buddy with the Clintons. Given what a flagrant political player Frankie has become, it would do nothing whatsover to sway swing voters, but posturing female Republican puppets aside, it’s not looking all that much like a swing voter seductionfest.

  233. 233.

    FlipYrWhig

    Maybe it will be Dan Cathy, offering free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches to everyone who votes Republican.

  234. 234.

    Persia

    @jibeaux: Yeah. IIRC Nancy Reagan is still pissed over stem cell research, so any Reagan appearance, even a hologram, is unlikely.

  236. 236.

    daverave

    Seamus the family dog, to show that he holds no grudges about that whole roof of the car thing and because he won’t upstage the Willard due to the fact that he can’t talk that well.

  237. 237.

    Chris

    @mds:

    Franklin Graham? Isn’t that a bit anticlimactic? What does he have besides the fact that he’s Billy’s son? If they wanted to bring in a fundiegelical man I would think someone like Pat Robertson or James Dobson is better.

    (Not that this is a very well-run campaign by any stretch of the imagination).

  239. 239.

    The Other Bob

    Either it will be a well-known celebrity or a Dem turncoat.

    I am betting it will be Harold Ford Jr. Black and party switcher. Hell yes. The R’s will appoint him spokesperson for all black people.

  240. 240.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Persia: I thought Nancy Reagan was in her mid-eighties, she’s 91. And she was pretty frail back at Ronnie’s funeral. I can’t imagine Ron Jr or Patti would be encouraging her to get out. It’s funny, I can’t think of a single Republican who would actually move any needles outside of the people who are already there. Tebow’s as good a guess as any, but I think in the real world that would be about as big a get as Reba McEntire or Lee Greenwood or Jon Voigt.

  241. 241.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @The Other Bob: another good guess, but I’m guessing the Obama has a thick file of e-mails flattering Obama and begging for jobs that could complicate any Ford ( R) candidacies in the future. Not that Ford is bright or humble enough to get that.

  242. 242.

    LanceThruster

    An R-Money hologram would certainly be more “real” and personable.

    Btw, I am sick to death of media puff pieces about what a nice “regular” family guy Mittens is and how that is starting to win over a larger portion of the undecided electorate.

    Like I’ve observed before…Hitler liked dogs. So what.

  243. 243.

    Quarks

    Late to this, as always, and I had Romney’s VP choice completely wrong (I didn’t think Ryan would be stupid enough to sign on for this), but, whatever! I’ll play. The mystery guest, in order of likelihood:

    1. Donald Trump (crowd loves him, business background, “Mr. Obama, you’re fired!”)

    2. Herman Cain (iffy on the love, but, that way we can prove that Republicans Love Black People No Matter What Their Ads Suggest.)

    3. Tim Tebow, since This Is Gator Country. Also I’m pretty sure in 20 years he’ll want to be in politics, and this is a good start.

    4. Dracula (ok, old fashioned clothing and not as Hawt as he once was since Edward came along, but, let’s face it, the one person who could make Romney look alive.)

    5. Ronald Reagan’s hologram (that’s pretty cool, actually.)

    6. Arnie! Arnie! Arnie! (“I told Obama — I’ll Be Back!”)

    7. Cirque de Soleil! They’re up the street in Orlando and let’s face it they are also totally awesome and colorful and would make an awesome distraction from the rest of the fail parade.

    8. Pirates! Lots of Florida people have pirate costumes, and it does fit in with the general Republican theme!

    GO PIRATES!

    Pirates!

    Or, on a related note, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

  252. 252.

    John M. Burt

    @Violet:

    Maybe the Dems could have a sideshow “Reagan hologram booth” where hologram Reagan says all sorts of things that are now considered liberal, with the bonus that attendees could get a video their own Reagan Q&A.

    That is an extremely good idea. Seriously, someone should start splicing the video now.

  254. 254.

    Elizabelle

    Thursday evening, the GOP has a video of “Abigail Adams.”

    Maybe a few wise words on treatment of the little women and colonial era family planning?

  255. 255.

    FlipYrWhig

    @LanceThruster: I don’t see how anyone could possibly look at the Romney clan and conclude that they were even a little “nice.” They’re a pack of smug, arrogant dickfaces. They exude meanness and condescension.

  256. 256.

    horse dave

    @Punchy: He came out in support of Rmoney a week or two ago. I just added the birther part as it seems as logical as his reasoning: “We need a change”.

  259. 259.

    Joey Maloney

    Maybe they had originally planned for whatshisname, the ACORN pimp guy, but I learned from TBogg that he can’t come – he’s all butthurt that, yes, you actually have to comply with the terms of your probation. And now they’re just vamping.

  260. 260.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @FlipYrWhig: there was a story a few months back that someone had to tell Mitt that the MIttlets came across exactly as you describe. I can only imagine Willard’s rage in that meeting. I was surprised to see a front page attempt at image rehab in the NYT ( dot com) today.

  265. 265.

    sagesource

    @Scott de B.: Thatcher’s mind has turned to mush and she hardly remembers who she was. I read that she can’t remember that her husband is dead and her keepers have to tell her again every day, and reflecting, what a bunch of shits — I hate her, but I would still tell her that he’s on a short trip to Scotland and will be back in a week, by which time she would have forgotten everything and be back at the original question.

  266. 266.

    NancyDarling

    Janine “Northern Exposure” Turner is speaking to the Tampa troops tonight. I did not know that she is as wingnutty as Patricia Heaton. Janine’s daughter said this:

    I love the Constitution. My mother used to read Ayn Rand to me in bed every night. Now that took a long time to get through, but it changed my life.”—Juliette Turner-Jones.

    If that is true (and I doubt it is), someone needs to haul Janine’s ass into family court and charge her with child abuse.

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/janine-turner-rnc-2012-12141740#ixzz24rb3YT4J

  267. 267.

    1badbaba3

    It could be a jam session with Fred Nuggents, Dave Mustique, and Huckleberry Rfd. on bass. They can play Those Enduring Young Charms” and Bugs can set up the piano.

  268. 268.

    Chyron HR

    @Elizabelle:

    Wednesday: We Can Change It

    I thought Republicans threw incontinent shrieking fits when politicans talked about “change”.

    Oh, wait, this is white people change, so that’s okay.

  270. 270.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)

    @? Martin: Fox News doesn’t cover anything that’s embarrasing for republicans, hence they’re not covering the republican convention live. Covering the convention this way allows them to show the “highlights” without risking exposing their viewers to the gaffes.

  274. 274.

    Larkspur

    It’s going to be the Angel Moroney. They’re so close to Disneyworld, how could it not be?

  275. 275.

    muddy

    @FlipYrWhig:

    The Romneys think they’re the Osmonds.

    Craig looks just like an Osmond, are they related?

    ETA: I was about to type “The Craig one” but then thought it was mean to depersonalize, like that was his model #, lol.

  276. 276.

    karen marie

    @Chris: The RNC would never waste money on a hologram of a live black man. In fact, it makes no sense they would make a hologram of any live person. That’s why I’m sticking to it being Zombie Reagan. Those in the base who understand he’s actually dead think he’s a saint and those who don’t understand he’s dead will believe he’s endorsed Romney. Ha!

  280. 280.

    Applejinx

    Guys, guys. You’re thinking too small.

    It’s Mitt.

    He RESIGNS.

    RYAN/PALIN 2012

    …and the crowd goes NUTS…

  281. 281.

    chopper

    that 13-year-old kid who delivered the keynote at CPAC way back when, who then dropped the retarded conservative shtick. he’s gonna come back as a gooper again.

  282. 282.

    LanceThruster

    @FlipYrWhig:

    I am amazed at my own personal vitriol towards them all…and yet feel it is wholly justifiable.

    R-Money is a warmonger whose sons are supporting the cause by helping him to be elected preznit. That sort of moral failing must be fully inbred to run so deep.

  286. 286.

    gene108

    I know why Republicans have such a love affair with Reagan.

    All their other Presidents, in the last 50 years are either mediocre at best, incompetent or criminal.

    Nixon = criminal
    Bush, Jr. = incompetent
    Bush, Sr. and Ford = mediocre

    Democrats can spread their Presidential love over Kennedy, LBJ, Carter, Clinton and now Obama.

  287. 287.

    bemused

    @NancyDarling:

    I had the same thought.

    Janine is a bleached blonde now? She looks like a combo southern belle/country western singer. She was quite lovely before this transformation but now…..jan brewer in about 20 years.

    I looked up the daughter, Juliette. She’s only about 14 and it looks like her mother has groomed her from her birth for the big time one way or another…country western singing, speaking on the constitution as Janine knows it…I really feel sorry for the kid.

  288. 288.

    Elizabelle

    @gene108:

    I admired President Ford. Don’t consider him mediocre at all.

    Although he compromised, and worked with the other side of the aisle in the House, had a modern and very honest wife, and lost a presidential election. Not a Bible thumper, either.

    So yeah, a lot of today’s Republicans probably don’t know about him or find him a RINO.

    He’s so far superior to GWBush.

  289. 289.

    MCA1

    @Leo: Oh, it would backfire, with the significant majority of under 45 white guys who are Republican voters, 90% of whom are also NFL fans and either (a) hate Tebow with the passion of a thousand suns or (b) see him as an incredibly overhyped annoyance.

  290. 290.

    Chris

    @gene108:

    All their other Presidents, in the last 50 years are either mediocre at best, incompetent or criminal.

    You left out “liberal,” which applies to Ford, Nixon and Eisenhower (if you want to go back farther than 50 years that guy is still very well liked, but way too liberal). You could also apply it to HW Bush, who might have been conservative in a lot of ways but he did raise taxes and he was part of that “Eastern Establishment” that movement conservatives loathe almost as much as they loathe Democrats.

    (Plus, someone had to take the fall for Reagan’s messes; better to blame them on Bush).

    Like you said, Reagan’s all they have. He may not be conservative by today’s standards but he was still plenty conservative for his time (part of the movement since he campaigned for Goldwater all the way back in the day), he hit all the right notes that still resonate with them today (race-baiting, liberal-bashing, national security hysterics, and all that Randroid-Jesus-freak shit that passes for their ideology), and he had the good fortune to be around when the USSR fell, so he got to take the credit for that.

  291. 291.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @horse dave:
    In Eastwood’s day the black guy knew he was the sidekick. A funny joke, but look back – it’s true.

    @Elizabelle:
    An entire lineup of elementary school jokes about Obama’s message. Wow. I don’t know where to begin about what this says about the modern Republican Party.

  293. 293.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    @Elizabelle:

    I admired President Ford. Don’t consider him mediocre at all.

    You gotta look at it in context. Every Republican that came after Ford makes him look good. But practically every Republican that came before Ford made him look bad. He had one of the lowest average job approval ratings among all presidents since World War II.

  294. 294.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Shawn in ShowMe: Every Republican who gets elected is so much worse than the one before that, over time, some of them come to seem, if not reasonable, almost adequate. I mean, think how un-awful George HW Bush seems in retrospect, and compare that to how you felt at the time.

  295. 295.

    Elizabelle

    Since WWII? That’s not very long. And Ford was dealing with a tough 1970s economy, that helped take down Jimmy Carter a few years later.

    Remember that Truman is more highly regarded in the years since he left office than he was while in office.

  299. 299.

    Anatoliĭ Lъudьvigovich Bzyp (formerly Horrendo Slapp, Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    As a random aside, when I was a kid, every Sunday we’d get the television guide for the week with the Sunday newspaper, and it had this show called “To Be Announced”. That show was on a lot, mostly on Sunday mornings. I thought it was some kind of religious show. Guess I was wrong, it was some crazy Republicans ranting incoherently about shit, maybe Sara Palin’s father or somebody…

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