Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

When we show up, we win.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Books are my comfort food!

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

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Reader Interactions

179Comments

  1. 1.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    Does anyone have images of this guy impersonating Prince?

  2. 2.

    Ben Franklin

    Har! That’s funny you see, cuz even though he’s been freed, he hasn’t been cleared of charges, but the liberals who convicted him in remote BJ court, say that don’t matter cuz, get this; He’s still guilty of being an Elvis impersonator

    So, he’s got that going for him..

  3. 3.

    PsiFighter37

    LA meetup in 2.5 weeks! I need to get my act together and reserve us a table, but if you are interested, please let me know

    Date: Friday, May 10th
    Location: Golden Road Brewery
    Time: Whatever works best for people (I am thinking sometime in the 7-8 PM area to start, and go for a few hours after that)

    ETA: Email me at [email protected] if interested. Got 5 takers so far

  5. 5.

    cckids

    You will be shocked to learn that the framer was once a GOP candidate for Congress.

    No, we won’t.

  7. 7.

    LanceThruster

    You will be shocked to learn that the framer was once a GOP candidate for Congress

    Well…*I* wouldn’t, but then I believe a whole lotta crazy shite.

  8. 8.

    PsiFighter37

    God, that’s pathetic. Why are the weirdos and the freaks always on that side of the political spectrum?

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    A Republican who lost to a Democrat in Mississippi in 2007. That’s not an easy feat to pull off.

    In other news: Rasputin 2.0? The mysterious Misha‘s link with Tamerlan Tsarnaev.

  10. 10.

    Gin & Tonic

    I was also shocked — *shocked*, I say — to read that he’s also been accused of child molestation.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    @Ben Franklin

    he hasn’t been cleared of charges,

    Um, charges have been dropped for the time being, per the press conference today.

    The United States Attorney has dismissed “without prejudice” all charges against Paul Kevin Curtis*#8230;.

  19. 19.

    NotMax

    @Ben Franklin

    So?

    Not something I have given even passing mention to here at any time.

    Never cared for the live Elvis, so impersonators are of zero interest to me one way or another.

  21. 21.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    @Eric U.: I will take your word for it. Photographic evidence would be more than enough tyvm.

  25. 25.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Ben Franklin:

    He’s still guilty of being an Elvis impersonator

    This is true. He is also a Prince impersonator and a Kid Rock impersonator. I stand by the mockery.

  29. 29.

    pk

    Looks like maybe someone tried to frame that Elvis impersonator.

    Poor Elvis impersonator. Leave him alone.

  35. 35.

    gbear

    I’ll bet he winds up in jail again for assaulting someone who won’t stop requesting ‘Jailhouse Rock’.

    That, or he goes all in and puts together a backup called The Purple Gang (which would also work for his Prince songs!)

  40. 40.

    gbear

    I’ll bet he winds up in jail again for assaulting someone who won’t stop requesting ‘Jailhouse Rock’.

    That, or he goes all in and puts together a backup called The Purple Gang (which would also work for his Prince songs!)

  42. 42.

    Suffern ACE

    @NotMax: oh Ben is just mocking a person who posted that this afternoon. I had also heard that the hearing was postponed and but the charges weren’t this afternoon when I walked by the TV in the lobby. I’m not certain if those reports were “right at the time” or if once again our press’ lack of understanding of our justice system showed itself when waiting for official information.

    Glad if its not this guy. Because sending ricin with a return address is kind of stupid in terms of crime. The frame up makes it more interesting. The motive is probably political, but for all we know there’s some kind if shifty land deal or love affair going on. “I’ve got to get rid of the son. Then old widow Curtis will have to sign over her land.” Something like that.

  44. 44.

    eemom

    That is one of 3 Elvis songs I really like. The other 2 are In the Ghetto and Can’t Help Falling In Love.

    The latter, even in my ancient and infinite cynicism, still melts my heart every time I hear it. Most romantic fucking song ever recorded, I say.

  45. 45.

    scav

    Wave! Wave! Wave! Over Here! I need to go Live! Give me Cam-e-ra!. The Canine Hounddogs are Barking!

  46. 46.

    Suffern ACE

    @NotMax: oh Ben is just mocking a person who posted that this afternoon. I had also heard that the hearing was postponed and but the charges weren’t this afternoon when I walked by the TV in the lobby. I’m not certain if those reports were “right at the time” or if once again our press’ lack of understanding of our justice system showed itself when waiting for official information.

    Glad if its not this guy. Because sending ricin with a return address is kind of stupid in terms of crime. The frame up makes it more interesting. The motive is probably political, but for all we know there’s some kind if shifty land deal or love affair going on. “I’ve got to get rid of the son. Then old widow Curtis will have to sign over her land.” Something like that.

  49. 49.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    OT: Since the Frosty Bitch, I mean Ann Coulter, thinks that a woman wearing a hijab should be imprisoned for doing so, I’m waiting for her to call for the imprisonment of male Jews who wear a yarmulke.

  53. 53.

    Trollhattan

    @Redshirt:

    “Wolf, Wolf…I’ve got Charlie Haj here with Elvis’ water and towel. Can you verify whether Elvis is or is not in the building? This water isn’t going to drink itself.”

    “Wolf?”

  55. 55.

    Calouste

    Btw, the alleged framer was running for the Mississippi House of Representatives, not the DC one.

  56. 56.

    Roger Moore

    You will be shocked to learn that the alleged framer was once a GOP candidate for Congress.

    FTFY. I’m still hoping for some more bizarre twists and turns. Ideally it will end up with the real perpetrator having his mask torn off to show it was none other than Sen. Roger Wicker (R-MS) who sent himself a ricin-tainted letter in a bizarre plot to depress real estate prices so he could buy up Tupelo for a song, and he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids.

  57. 57.

    scav

    @Schlemizel: That’s the theory. It has been tried, but every so often It’s like Potato Chips and I crumble. Speaking of which . . . . Lays might indeed be the better option, even with the empty calories.

  58. 58.

    David Koch

    Doug, I can’t believe you blew the title. It should have obviously have been “Devil in Disguise”

  59. 59.

    Yutsano

    I’m guessing this is open threadish.

    I’ve been sitting on news all day. I just got an e-mail that my candidacy for the job I put in for is moving forward! It looks like they’re pushing me towards New Mexico but it’s still early on in the process yet. I might be just a WEE bit excited!

  64. 64.

    MattR

    @Yutsano: Since congrats might be a little premature, let’s go with YIPPEEEE!!

    Just saw your comment and decided I should check your employer’s website. Was excited to see my refund hit my bank today (and I filed on April 14). It’s a damn shame the government is so damn inefficient :)

  67. 67.

    eemom

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Well, there are many, many runners up.

    Hey DougJ — we can haz Most Romantic Fucking Songs EVAH thread sometime plz? It is, after all, springtime….young men’s fancies ‘n all that.

    (On reflection, maybe that better be “fucking romantic” to avoid confusion with a related but distinct genre.)

  70. 70.

    Yutsano

    @the Conster: Albuquerque. But I figure I’ll put a ton of mileage on the car going to Phoenix and Denver and such. Done El Paso though, no thanks. And no Mexico for me either.

  75. 75.

    the Conster

    @Yutsano:

    If you end up there, take the Breaking Bad tour. I hear it’s great! Also, if you want to camp in Taos, I have 11 acres of land on the Rio Grande gorge on Hondo Mesa. Good luck!

  76. 76.

    Mike E

    Ol’ Ben, nice guy that he was, invented the lightning rod but didn’t patent it. Now WATBen, get down from that fence before you get hurt :D

  79. 79.

    RobNYNY1957

    @eemom:

    “Can’t Help Falling in Love” is a French art song from the 1780’s and had been recorded dozens of times before Presley got around to it.

  81. 81.

    NotMax

    @Schlemizel

    Brought it up as well early-ish last night, here, and response was nil.

    Met him once when he played at an anti-war rally at my high school (that would have been pre-Woodstock). Nice fellow.

  88. 88.

    Redshirt

    @Yutsano: I spent a weird summer in the Q, or, The Land of Entrapment.

    Weird, strange place, but I was dirt poor so only really saw the city from the barrio.

    Good luck!

  89. 89.

    Schlemizel

    @NotMax:

    The time I bumped into him he was warm & wonderful. Had a great voice & sang with great emotion. A treat & I’m glad to live in a time when his voice will be preserved so I can enjoy it.

  90. 90.

    Mnemosyne

    @Morzer:

    I think it was Shortstop who dubbed him “Ben Malaprop” the other day after he mixed up “province” and “Provence.”

    If the shoe fits …

    ETA: Could be worse — could be a case of pronoun trouble. Those never end well.

  91. 91.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Any of the birders on the board recognise a bird song of “chewy chewy chewy” I have been searching the internet all night and no luck.

  92. 92.

    Jay in Oregon

    Alex Jones, the asshole who tweeted minutes after the explosions at the Boston Marathon that it smelled like a “false flag” operation, is now trying to pretend that the bombers weren’t fans of his show and website.

    Get this: it’s THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT who’s concocting conspiracy theories, not him!

  93. 93.

    Suffern ACE

    @Litlebritdifrnt: we need some kind of location. What region do you live in and what kind of habitat do you hear it in. Do you hear it all day, or just at night?

  94. 94.

    Ben Franklin

    @Mnemosyne:

    Grammarians and teat-mongers troll the internets. Typos are fair game, but as a foundation of logic and perspective, remain the last refuge of argument for Bj trollops.

  95. 95.

    dewzke

    One more feeding to BF….trollops? Last refuge? My dog you are angry at the wrong people.

  96. 96.

    GxB

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    a Kid Rock impersonator

    Jeezus – now there’s gotta be a law against that. If nothing else it’s against natural law anyway, I’ll have to dig out some physics textbooks and see if this could cause a rift in the Higgs Field of Sucktitude or something.

  100. 100.

    Mnemosyne

    @Ben Franklin:

    If it had been a typo, you would have gotten the hint after a couple of the nudges we gave you. What you have is gen-u-wine homonym trouble, Mr. Malaprop.

  111. 111.

    JWL

    Poor sad, beautiful Elvis. What a damn shame he succumbed to the drug abuse he falsely and recklessly accused the Beatles of promoting. If souls are tended to after the body dies, I sure hope he is resting in peace. He brought true joy to a lot of people with his wonderful singing, including me.

  123. 123.

    dewzke

    What an obtuse thing you are. Won’t even respond with info on news, comedy or stupid riffs on a name. Ugh.

  124. 124.

    Suffern ACE

    But if they dropped the charges, how can he be railroaded in a false flag operation? What if this is an actual criminal investigation?

  127. 127.

    eemom

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    @maya:

    Thank you — I actually have a bird song question too…..this one guy in my yard is quite distinctive and I’ve been wondering who to ask.

    Once again, springtime….

  128. 128.

    dewzke

    I shall now fart in BF’s general direction for being such a fartworthy internet troll.

  131. 131.

    Yutsano

    @CaseyL: Heat won’t bother me too much, as I understand Albuquerque has a distinct winter season (with snow!) as well as a hot summer. It’s over 5000 feet above sea level though, so it should be livable. It will also be a temporary assignment, as I’ll be looking to come back to the Northwest after a year or two if possible. It’s a big leg up in the career department plus what I really want to do in the IRS. I’m a touch excited if you can’t tell!

    @NotMax: I do still have the possibility of Honolulu, although talking it over with my boss today New Mexico is the stronger contender. I wouldn’t say no to Hawai’i though.

  134. 134.

    Ben Franklin

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I can hold you in contempt from here.

    But without your vaunted power….surely it grates, but I’m not calling you shirley yet.

  139. 139.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    trolololololol has had a long day today!

  142. 142.

    JWL

    @gbear: Indeed. And I don’t doubt the Fabs eventually felt the same way. But it must have pissed them all off initially. Then again, the times were definitely different way back when.

  144. 144.

    dewzke

    My dog! Have I been talking to a total moron? Yes I’m still here! So are you! What are even saying? I’m going to do every Balloon Juice commenter a favor now and ignore you. I’ve tried to be nice but you are out there. Please get help.

  147. 147.

    Ben Franklin

    @Mnemosyne:

    I didn’t want to impugn your profession as I did Omnes, so go fish.

    Not that I don’t respect secretaries, but they should know when they are out of their depth.

  157. 157.

    Redshirt

    @Ben Franklin: Well, since you’re trolling till you can troll no more, please regale me with tales of your civil rights hero, Rand Paul, and his truly noble stand that sure, DRONEZ should be used to take out a dude robbing a liquor store, in – get this – AMERICA!

  158. 158.

    Another Halocene Human

    @Roger Moore: Do we have any information on campaign contributions by Chesley Ruff of Tupelo, MS to a certain J. Everett Douche Dutschke (c.m.)* for Miss. state house?

    * child molester

  162. 162.

    TooManyJens

    @Redshirt: What could possibly go wrong with droning some dude you think maybe robbed a liquor store? As we learned last week, “running while brown” is pretty much the same as bombing a public event, after all.

  163. 163.

    trollhattan

    Four-point-two millyun, bitchez!

    Proposed settlement for the LAPD hosing the two women in their pickup with gunfire during the Dorner search. (How the hell did they survive?) Reason the thousandth I admire the BPD and Mass staties during the recent kerfuffle. We could use some of that approach out here.

  165. 165.

    scav

    This might go up as an OT rerun on a less polluted thread but Hey Birders! Esp UK ones!
    Tweet of the Day: David Attenborough to present BBC Radio 4 birdsong series

    a year-long Radio 4 series, Tweet of the Day, featuring the songs of 265 birds around Britain.

    Like the dawn chorus, each 90-second episode will air at the beginning of the day, just before the Today programme, starting with the cuckoo in the first programme on 6 May.

    Along with the birdsong, the series will tell the story of the bird through science, social history, culture, literature and music.

    Says it’ll be a permanent part of the website too, as well as a podcast. ahh, the beeb. chewy chewy chewy.

  166. 166.

    JCT

    @Yutsano: Great news, I did the NE to SW move for a job last year. Enjoying it so far – and hey, don’t leave Tucson out of your wandering, prettier than Phoenix!

  168. 168.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @The Other Bob:

    Depends on when you have in mind. I’m going to be in Michigan around the second week of June and could probably work Lansing/East Lansing into the itinerary with very little trouble.

  169. 169.

    Heliopause

    You will be shocked to learn that the framer

    Alleged framer. You’d think that after all the serial misidentifications over the last week or so that a little caution might be called for.

  172. 172.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Schlemizel:

    Huh. I just asked my favourite bartender (29-year-old black guy) if he knew Richie Havens.

    Sigh. He never hears of him.

  173. 173.

    Redshirt

    @dewzke: Yes, but don’t be surprised. With this breed of Firebagger troll, they’ll agree with Hitler/Stalin/Satan as long as they perceive it a slight for Obama.

    For Progressive Purity, of course!

  174. 174.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Calouste:

    FWIW, I have known, for about 20 years, the Dem (Steve Holland) who prevailed.

    Pro tip: “Dem” in Mississippi is not unlike “GOP” anywhere else. But Steve is a nice guy. I was in Tupelo over the weekend, tried to call him but had no success.

  178. 178.

    lojasmo

    @Ben Franklin:

    A “typo” is a slip of the “fonger” which results in a letter being typed instead of an adjacent letter.

    You blatantly misused a word because you are a Dumas.

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