I just ate a hamburger, which was my first food since noon Saturday. My dinner was in the oven when Tunch was killed and I just threw it out at 2 am that night, and I made dinner last night and tonight and then just gave it to the dogs, but I am crawling out of this pit and decided I had to eat something. Regardless, I just really can’t thank all of you enough. For someone who claims to be a misanthrope, I sure am surrounded by a helluva lot of wonderful people. Like I said the other day, one of the things that I love about this website is that I think I am better at expressing myself here than I am in person, so you all get the very best and very absolute worst of me.
I’ve even had my atheism challenged this week-end. Not by some silly fantasy that there is a heaven and Tunch is in it (don’t get me wrong, I love the angel picture), but by Rosie’s behavior. Lily is a little ball of love, but she is just not very bright and I don’t care. The only way I can describe her is that every time I see that sweet little bundle of awesomesauce I see a cartoon bubble over her head, and in that bubble, the text reads:
“HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY WHAT IS THIS I WANT TO SNIFF THERE IS THE FAT MAN LOVE LOVE LOVE OH HE IS SWEATING I NEED TO LICK HIM HE IS MY OWN PERSONAL BACON FLAVORED SALT LICK LOVE LOVE LOVE IS THAT A CUT ON HIS LEG HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT I WILL LICK THAT TOO I THINK I SMELL FOOD LET’S GO OVER THERE DO I HAVE TO POTTY NO IT IS TOO HOT OR TOO COLD AND HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY OH THERE IS THE FAT GUY AGAIN LOVE LOVE LOVE HEY THERE IS A BED WITH A COMFORTER SEE YOU GUYS LATER HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.”
You know how much I love this dog, but really, I think that is what is going on through her tiny little noggin. Rosie, on the other hand, has not been farther than a foot from me since Tunch was killed. She is on my lap at all times, right up next to me in bed, sitting with me while I am on the porch, at my feet while I was working today, and so forth. She has been a constant soothing presence since the event.
And that is what has challenged my atheism, albeit mildly. Maybe there is a grand cosmic plan, and I was supposed to pick her up by the side of the road. It’s still funny how it happened, with me seeing her, braking, and by the time I stopped she was behind me. I left my driver’s side door open, went back to check on her, she ran around the passenger side, around the front of the car, and hopped in. And so it was.
I had a lot of people I know who wanted to put her down, or who thought I should give her to a JRT rescue, or who lectured me about Tunch and JRT’s, but I had faith in her and knew my zen like lifestyle where there is plenty of love and food for everyone would fix her and now the same people who told me to give her away are the people who come over and just love on Rosie all night long.
So maybe it was meant to be. They all had and have their purposes. If that is spirituality, and a grand design, I am ok with it.