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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread

Late Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  March 4, 201412:27 am| 72 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Shawn and I are going around the house making lists of things that need to be repaired, and my kitchen curtains are on the top of the list. They are beige and have a plastic lining on the other side of the fabric, and in a fit of stupidity, I washed them and then dried them and basically melted a lot of the lining. So I need new ones.

The problem is I have never seen curtains like this before, so I do not even know where to look. Where do you find this kind of curtain that you just clasp? What is the name of them?

curtain

Yes, there was a reason I liked living in apartment complexes where you could just call and say “This is broken, please fix it.”

*** Update ***

It’s posts like this when I read the comments and reaffirm that I do hate most of you.

What is wrong with regular cheap curtains in the kitchen that get trashed a lot because the back door gets used 20 times as much as the front door? This ain’t the Taj Mahal.

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Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    max

    March 4, 2014 at 12:33 am

    Where do you find this kind of curtain that you just clasp? What is the name of them?

    Walmart or Target or lots of places like that. Got some just like it. Common as dirt. (The trick is the clips are sold separately from the curtains. So you can just buy any old curtain.)

    max
    [‘It’s a MIRACLE!’]

    p.s. Amazon. Will this modern age of marvels ever end?

  2. 2.

    scav

    March 4, 2014 at 12:38 am

    From the former Iron Curtain to what’s this curtain ironwork called in a single day.

    So many things need fixing and the landlord doesn’t seem to exist. Heat’s not working too well either and we seem to have pipe damage in places. Too much or too little of both. Please tell me somebody remembered to pay the gravity bill on the place . . .

  3. 3.

    Suzanne

    March 4, 2014 at 12:42 am

    Those are pinch pleat curtains. Replace your end tables.

  4. 4.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 12:44 am

    Arrgh! Not particularly serious (nor even anything which affects me personally), but am trying to do the right thing regarding something found lying the driveway which belongs to a large-ish business and am caught in a Kafkaesque maze.

    Also, too:

    Mnemosyne (and others), you might get a small kick out of the video here.

  5. 5.

    Anne Laurie

    March 4, 2014 at 12:44 am

    What you have in the picture are drapery rings with clips. Want you want, assuming Shawn’s taste is no better than yours, are any curtains that will work with drapery rings.

    Warning: that melted ‘plastic lining’ was intended for thermo-insulation, and may or may not have contained fiberglassy materials. You may want to run a couple ’empty’ loads through your washer & dryer before washing your dainties, if insulation makes you itch.

  6. 6.

    dww44

    March 4, 2014 at 12:46 am

    Since my dear departed Mom worked in a factory that made those same types of curtains, they are pinch pleated draperies, not curtains. And the plastic/paper lining is what gave them the necessary structure. You are really funny, JC.

  7. 7.

    srv

    March 4, 2014 at 12:46 am

    They’re called curtain clips, and they’re made for people who DIY curtains or buy raw drapery. Imagine you’re a drapery store, and you have material, and you can convert it to the various rod forms. Tis is the raw form before conversion. Maybe “Basic Heading”

  8. 8.

    srv

    March 4, 2014 at 12:50 am

    Nearly 1 in 5 U.S. soldiers had a common mental illness, such as depression, panic disorder or ADHD, before enlisting in the Army, according to a new study that raises questions about the military’s assessment and screening of recruits.

    I wonder what the ratio is for tank drivers.

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 12:53 am

    What max (and others) said.

    Yes, there was a reason I liked living in apartment complexes where you could just call and say “This is broken, please fix it.”

    Paint the windows black and (very, very, very carefully) nail a piece of plywood over them, then slap some washable Con-Tac paper depicting an outdoor scene on the plywood.

    Or not.

  10. 10.

    kathy a.

    March 4, 2014 at 12:59 am

    You have a rod. You can get another kind of curtains to go on it. They could look nicer, even.

    Look around at places like bed bath beyond, sears, whatever. Or the internet. Pinch-pleated curtains are not so usual for kitchens, really, but there are lots of choices.

  11. 11.

    Ripley

    March 4, 2014 at 1:02 am

    Where do you find this kind of curtain that you just clasp? What is the name of them?

    The Trashiest Curtains Imagineable

  12. 12.

    kathy a.

    March 4, 2014 at 1:04 am

    @kathy a.: the pinch pleats, there is another kind of hook that usually is used. It has a pin that goes behind the pleats, and then a hook to go over the rod. Not that the present system doesn’t work!

  13. 13.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 1:07 am

    Might be a tacky homage, but theyd be washable.

  14. 14.

    Gex

    March 4, 2014 at 1:08 am

    I think you get those in the 1970’s.

  15. 15.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    March 4, 2014 at 1:08 am

    With the rod and clips, you can just grab a piece of textile-like flat material, clip the heck out of any vaguely straight edge, and hang it up there like a pro. Faded floral bedsheets are the conventional choice, but opened-out, flattened black poly trash bags do add a nice down-home touch.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 1:16 am

    Double dog dare ya. Curtains.

    /would be amusing for maybe 15 minutes

  17. 17.

    Anne Laurie

    March 4, 2014 at 1:28 am

    Well, if you’re gonna have an attitude, Cole, you can just invest in a roll of this stuff. Sixty-inch width should do for most of your windows throughout the house — cut the length to one-and-a-half or double the span of the opening in question, add clips. A hundred-yard roll will probably last you for years, and when it’s been washed too often to hold together, it’s biodegradable!

  18. 18.

    Joel

    March 4, 2014 at 1:34 am

    Let’s Pretend Is the best song off “Curtains” in my opinion.

  19. 19.

    The Dangerman

    March 4, 2014 at 1:37 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    …in a roll of this stuff.

    Burlap? BURLAP?

    No way. This is more his style.

  20. 20.

    AnotherBruce

    March 4, 2014 at 1:39 am

    Can we pleeze have John Cole back? I’m sick of this whining old lady with her petty domestic problems. Can someone do us a favor and piss her off?

  21. 21.

    notorious JRT

    March 4, 2014 at 1:40 am

    I’ve got to agree with those who are surprised to find pinch pleat draperies (with the correctly identified drapery rings with clips) in a kitchen. Maybe I have lived a sheltered life, but kitchen curtains more often are of the rod pocket variety.

    I agree with the suggested retail outlets, but you may be happier looking at types of curtains in person and then ordering online. I have found in- store selection can be lacking in quantity and or style. You can probably get a good feel for options by looking at the JCPenney Web site. Good luck!

  22. 22.

    Casey

    March 4, 2014 at 1:42 am

    Hi john, since you already have clips, and if it is for a short window, an affordable and easy kitchen option is to use tea towels. Any kitchen supply, target, etc

  23. 23.

    jl

    March 4, 2014 at 1:44 am

    @The Dangerman:

    Red duct tape is kind of dainty and putting on airs, isn’t it? I would rather go with the down home silvery hue duct tape. More manly.

    And, tip for Cole, if he is worried about curtains in hazardous environments, then they should be 100 percent duct tape.

  24. 24.

    Juju

    March 4, 2014 at 1:51 am

    By now you know those are pinch pleat curtains. If you don’t want to use the clippy things then look for a tab top curtain, or my preference, a curtain with grommets.

  25. 25.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    March 4, 2014 at 1:54 am

    @NotMax:

    I like the way, according to Jalen Rose, new NBA players do the window thing when they buy their first homes: Just put newspaper over ’em.

  26. 26.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 2:00 am

    @Juju

    Aside from ease of putting them up and taking them down, a small additional bonus is that the ones with grommets can be hung using shower curtain rings, and these days there is a wide variety in styles and colors of those (and reasonably priced, too).

  27. 27.

    seaboogie

    March 4, 2014 at 2:09 am

    Cole – email me the dimensions of your windows and a pic of your kitchen, and I’ll make you something extry-special that is made of natural materials, washable, and has way more good juju than your T&H pictures. It will take a wee bit of time, because there may or may not be embroidery involved (okay, there will be, but you will love it, I guarantee it!)

    Even Suzanne will approve! P.S. I kind of get where she is coming from on the end tables, but you are a single dude, so as long as you don’t have a coffee table made of a giant cable spool, I can roll with whatever you have happening. However I do get the Nagel references.

  28. 28.

    Nellie in NZ

    March 4, 2014 at 2:10 am

    Well, if it ever gets cold in West Virginia, it might be handy to have some insulated curtains. All the curtains, or draperies if you want to get fussy about it, at the house we are renting are insulated. I can feel the temperature drop on a hot day when I close them and it keeps the heat in on a cold day. Mock taste all you want, but they have a noble purpose.

    I’m sort of in the camp of the woman who said, “Each time that I find myself lapsing into good taste, I make a quick stop.” I hate the patrol of “good taste.”

  29. 29.

    Redshift

    March 4, 2014 at 2:18 am

    It’s posts like this when I read the comments and reaffirm that I do hate most of you.

    You go to war with the snarling pack of vitriolic jackals you have, not the snarling pack of vitriolic jackals you wish you had.

  30. 30.

    Gretchen

    March 4, 2014 at 2:22 am

    I agree with whoever said tab-top curtains would be a good choice with these rods, and forget the rings. Or you could get someone who sews to hem a rectangle of whatever you want the curtains made of and clip them up.

  31. 31.

    NotMax

    March 4, 2014 at 2:24 am

    It’s posts like this when I read the comments and reaffirm that I do hate most of you.

    But it’s a dry hate…

  32. 32.

    slag

    March 4, 2014 at 2:36 am

    You can use those clips with any standard curtain. I have curtains with a sleeve made for a rod. But I hate that look, so I loosely pinch-pleated the clips to the back lining of the curtain. Gives a nice ring-top look, and I don’t see the clips themselves or the pinches where they clip on. You should do that.

  33. 33.

    John M. Burt

    March 4, 2014 at 3:04 am

    This is an open thread, right?

    It’s okay to talk about stuff other than curtains?

    Come sign my petition, folks:

    http://www.thepetitionsite.com/675/634/192/a-truce-for-christmas/?z00m=20755493

  34. 34.

    PurpleGirl

    March 4, 2014 at 3:13 am

    @Suzanne: I looked at the picture and couldn’t think of the name of the curtain type. Ah — yes, pinch pleats. And Cole shouldn’t use pinch pleats with clips. He can REUSE the clips with other fabric panels — plain panels. (As we know, pinch pleats require different hanging hardware and a flat curtain rod.)

    Cole — we trying to teach you about curtains and their hardware. Don’t get mad at us.

  35. 35.

    Mustang Bobby

    March 4, 2014 at 3:27 am

    Apparently I’m being evicted by the Borg.

    I’m resisting even though they tell me it’s futile.

  36. 36.

    Fred

    March 4, 2014 at 3:37 am

    My solution to curtains is living in the woods. Haven’t had curtains in 25 years. I know I’m wasting some BTUs but I like seeing the outside in all it’s glory. Damned curtains are just dust collectors.
    And John, about those commenters you hate: They just don’t understand that a home is just a glorified camp. Any kind of curtains that make you feel good are the right ones. If it makes you smile it can’t be wrong.

  37. 37.

    Goblue72

    March 4, 2014 at 4:33 am

    John’s got a fellow bachelor roomie and next thing you know dude is all eating healthy, fixing the house and less cranky. Either it’s good for his mental health or this is gonna turn into a bromance rom-com.

  38. 38.

    mzrad

    March 4, 2014 at 5:36 am

    Ha ha: you so grumpy Mr. Cole! Lol

  39. 39.

    p.a.

    March 4, 2014 at 6:08 am

    Way too late to this thread, but I’ve found old sheets, a dowl and small spring clips or heavy duty paper clips work fine.

  40. 40.

    Rosalita

    March 4, 2014 at 6:51 am

    @Anne Laurie: Thanks to you and Cole for the morning LOLS

  41. 41.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 4, 2014 at 6:56 am

    @Nellie in NZ: This. Pay not attention to the haterz, somewhere down in the root cause there is envy or a childhood incident that instilled lifelong fear.

    Pinch pleated curtains for the kitchen depends on what kind of windows or doors you are covering. My old rental place had a sliding glass door off one end of the kitchen space, and such a set up provided similar insulation, especially in the winter.

    MrsFromOhio has set up such curtains on most of the windows, and The Home Despot provided nearly all the hardware. What’s nice about them is she can do seasonal sets if she chooses (heavier in winter, lighter in summer) and it takes about 15 minutes to undo the clips to swap out the curtains on the bigger sliding glass doors.

    I’d find someone who knows how to sew and let them make you a set out of durable, washable material of a color to your liking. Kitchen is going to be a messy place, you’ll want to haul them down and wash them regularly, so make ’em out of something suitably strong. Fabric technology is amazing. Or just buy a set that fits the space.

  42. 42.

    gogol's wife

    March 4, 2014 at 7:16 am

    @Gex:

    LOL.

    Cole may hate you guys, but I can’t believe you’ve made such a funny thread out of such a boring topic.

  43. 43.

    gogol's wife

    March 4, 2014 at 7:18 am

    @Fred:

    I live in a town, but I took down the living-room drapes to get them cleaned about 8 years ago, and I’ve never put them back up. I like the sun coming through the windows.

  44. 44.

    debbie

    March 4, 2014 at 7:22 am

    He should just ask his mom.

  45. 45.

    Kay

    March 4, 2014 at 7:33 am

    This made me laugh, because I have exactly the same set up in the living room over a big, old window that is drafty, except the drapes are brown- same spring clips and everything.

    I also washed the drapes and ruined the insulated lining.

    I only put them up for the coldest part of the winter, though.

  46. 46.

    SFAW

    March 4, 2014 at 8:02 am

    @Mustang Bobby:

    I’m resisting even though they tell me it’s futile.

    I’m not sure why you would want to resist being “assimilated” by Seven of Nine a/k/a “Ruth Tailor.” (Yes, I realize you may have other preferences, etc.) I’ll be happy to be assimilated in your place, if you want.

    Unless you’re lying about your search results from Teh Google, of course.

  47. 47.

    gvg

    March 4, 2014 at 8:20 am

    Don’t get stuck on reusing those clips. It may limit your curtain choices to an annoying degree making your shopping long and drawn out and more trouble than it’s worth. Tab tops or curtains on rings or rod pocket curtains will all go on that rod just fine.
    Now I do prefer insulated curtains in cold weather. JC Penny’s has the best selections IMO. They have sales too so watch for those.

  48. 48.

    not here often

    March 4, 2014 at 9:01 am

    For God’s sake, John – get some goddamn slat blinds and be done with all this. I read this blog everyday and, I can’t believe you are spazzing the goddamn curtains. Put up some blinds all around the house, closed for privacy, open for view and move on.

    Curtains, drapes?

    Really, man – I think I get you but stop tripping over shit like this and solve it. Find some colors or just go with wood tone that works with the rest of the room, get out a screw driver and put those things up in the corner, put the damn thing in, snap it shut, pull the cord to the level you like, work the rod to the view you want and keep finding healthy recipes and places to shop.

    When they get dusty from pet hair, get out the vac and brush attachment.

    Holy shit.

  49. 49.

    boatboy_srq

    March 4, 2014 at 9:18 am

    @max: … and wouldn’t you just know, BJ comes up covered in Target adverts…

    Overstock, Bed Bath and Beyond, even (I think) Jo-Ann Fabrics all have decent curtains that will do the job for a decent price. IKEA also has some decent offerings.

    If the rings are a bother try grommeted curtains: quick installation, no extra hardware, no fuss.

  50. 50.

    JGabriel

    March 4, 2014 at 9:47 am

    John Cole:

    Where do you find this kind of curtain that you just clasp? What is the name of them?

    I don’t know what they’re officially called, but I call them “bed sheets”. They can be found at most dept. stores. I hang with them twine and clothespins, though I’m told the paper clasps at Staples work well too. Also, don’t fall for that “advice” that you need to need expensive hooks for the twine, duct-taping it the window frame works just fine.

    Edited to add: Oh, I see Comrade Colette Collaboratrice and p.a. got to most of this first. But I’m sure it’s nice to know that there’s a consensus.

  51. 51.

    Charity

    March 4, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Curtain clips can be found at Target easily. For the actual curtains, Target and Overstock and Ikea are good sources. They look fine to me.

  52. 52.

    Paul in KY

    March 4, 2014 at 10:54 am

    @NotMax: Things left in my driveway generally become property of the Empire of Paul in KY.

    There are exceptions to the above rule.

  53. 53.

    Paul in KY

    March 4, 2014 at 10:55 am

    @NotMax: That would insulate them well for Winter. Make sure it is 3/4 inch plywood. Don’t want to use the cheap stuff.

  54. 54.

    Petorado

    March 4, 2014 at 10:57 am

    @The Dangerman: R U serious? I think it’s camo.

  55. 55.

    kindness

    March 4, 2014 at 10:58 am

    I suggest you revist your youth and put up some tie-dyed curtains & be festive.

  56. 56.

    Paul in KY

    March 4, 2014 at 11:01 am

    @p.a.: I used sheets for years till I was guilted by the wimmens into upgrading to real curtains.

  57. 57.

    cosima

    March 4, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Per Our Lady of the Broken Calculator/McArglebargle/whatever nom de plume BJ is blessing her with these days, black-out curtains in the bedroom are to be desired. Perhaps you could drop her a line asking what she recommends. Should you get curtains to match your handmixer? Your countertops? It is so difficult to decide.

    My opinion, as someone who sews, and avoids curtains in the kitchen like the plague, is that you not replace your curtains at all, particularly if your window looks out into your backyard. Isn’t there plastic film that can be put over windows that provides a sort of thermal property to the window?

    I have to agree with commenter above that said that BJ, in usual form, has somehow managed to turn kitchen curtains into an entertaining thread — from a distance.

  58. 58.

    auntie beak

    March 4, 2014 at 11:12 am

    No way. This is more his style.

    laughing till peeing! duct tape curtains! oh, oh, now i have to go change….!!!!

  59. 59.

    AdamK

    March 4, 2014 at 11:16 am

    @not here often: “…get out a screw driver and put those things up…”

    This is Cole you’re addressing. Not a death threat, but close.

  60. 60.

    p.a.

    March 4, 2014 at 11:29 am

    @Paul in KY: the more I think about it the more I regret my snarky comment: Cole is in West Va. so he really may need good curtains; we can’t assume the presence of windows! ;-P

  61. 61.

    p.a.

    March 4, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Remember Nadine on Twin Peaks? Covered in grease:’Absolutely positively silent curtain runners’. Can’t find a clip on YouTube.

  62. 62.

    Paul in KY

    March 4, 2014 at 11:35 am

    @p.a.: I’m in Kentucky. I can’t say shit.

  63. 63.

    elftx

    March 4, 2014 at 11:50 am

    You are such a DUDE !!!
    Ya shudda asked your mom LMAO.

  64. 64.

    dr. luba

    March 4, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Curtains? Who needs curtains? They just gather dust and block the view. I gave up on those when I moved out to the burbs in 1989. Of course, it helps that I have a corner lot and no houses too close by. I like the sunshine, on the rare days we have it (Michigan), and seeing my trees and flowers, and the lake across the street….

  65. 65.

    crosspalms

    March 4, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    Glad to see the roach clips are being put to good use.

  66. 66.

    JustRuss

    March 4, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    @p.a.: The secret to silent drape runners is: Cotton Balls! Sadly, I can’t find a clip either. I did, however, find a Twin Peaks themed band called Silent Drape Runners:
    http://silentdraperunners.tumblr.com/

  67. 67.

    InternetDragons

    March 4, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Curtains in a kitchen, where they can soak up cooking oil fumes, collect cat and dog hair, etc.? Gross.

    Get some nice blinds, jezuzgod.

  68. 68.

    dollared

    March 4, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    @The Dangerman: You guys just made me a happier person. don’t let up on the bastard. It’s good for him.

  69. 69.

    Birthmarker

    March 4, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    @Fred: This is the best suggestion yet. I only use curtains or sheers for rooms that need privacy from the street or light control for sleeeping. I keep the back windows uncovered but we haven’t had close neighbors behind us for 25+ years.

  70. 70.

    LT

    March 4, 2014 at 7:51 pm

    Crack me up. Fuck em all. Cole! Fucking wanna be poser fancy curtain fucks! Fuck them with curtain rods!

    Ow.

  71. 71.

    MaximumMary

    March 4, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    The main question is how big the window(s) is(are). You basically need a piece of washable, hemmed fabric, which fills the space. Here’s a post from Young House Love about making fancy-ish curtains to go with curtain rings. I’ve also just gone with large bandanas for the bathroom windows and tea towels (not terry cloth kitchen towels with designs on them). My advice would be to go to a Targmart sort of place, pick up some flat woven kitchen towels that go with your kitchen and hang those up.

    I was mortified by the curtains my mother made for my freshman dorm room. They lasted forever and haunt me still, so I do understand.

  72. 72.

    Lyrebird

    March 4, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Ditto to the folks saying you can skip the clips and put tab-top or grommet curtains, drapes, what have you on there.

    Google either Country Curtains for nice stuff that will come out of the wash better or Vermont Trading Post for decent insulated tab-top curtains with no trouble.

    Sierra Trading Post sometimes has remaindered ones for cheap.

    Sheets work just fine, but getting insulated curtains will do more to save on heat/cooling.

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