Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

I was promised a recession.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Republicans in disarray!

We still have time to mess this up!

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2016 / The Balls on these Fucking Guys

The Balls on these Fucking Guys

by | 93 Comments

This post is in: 

The always awesome Donna Edwards and equally impressive David Cay Johnson were on Lawrence tonight, he pointed out something Ivanka said that I missed during their child care farce rollout:

My father has created a plan that is designed to bring relief and to provide working parents with options so that they can make the decisions that are in the best interests of their families. Safe, affordable, high quality child care should not be the luxury of a fortunate few. Historically this has not been an area that has received nearly as much attention in the policy world as it deserves. While there are systems in place for older children, hardly any intellectual energy has been devoted to addressing the needs of families with children from birth to 4 years old.

The serious balls on these fucking people. Hillary Clinton has spent her entire life, as have thousands of others, working on these issues. The fucking Children’s Defense Fund was created in 1973, eight years before this halfwit was born. Hillary was working at the Children’s Defense Fund while in law school before this silver spooned shitheel gasped her first breath.

Put aside the fact that the Trump proposal is a god damned joke, Clinton has been advocating for this shit for decades. Ivanka Trump is the asshole freshman who skips half the fucking semester in her Poly Sci 100 class, and then writes a paper on a policy like she was the first person who ever thought about.

These fucking assholes.

Reader Interactions

93Comments

  5. 5.

    Mike J

    Hillary was working at the Children’s Defense Fund while in law school before this silver spooned shitheel gasped her first breath.

    And don’t forget that Hillary Clinton is the reason (S-)CHIP passed.

  6. 6.

    SenyorDave

    @schrodinger’s cat: She’s attractive, well-groomed, more careful. Trump jr. poses with dismembered elephant trucks, openly cavorts with alt-right types, essentially is a like the old man. Ivanka is polished, probably every bit as repulsive as the Donald in her own way.

    But she inherited one thing from her father, she’s a lying sack of crap.

    Besides if they give a pass to Donald on his lies, why not the whole family.

  7. 7.

    SiubhanDuinne

    That whole famn damily, every one of them. They all lie, and lie, and lie some more, and then lie again, and the fucking New York Times says they are “stretching the truth.”

  9. 9.

    Mnemosyne

    I distinctly remember Hillary doing a lot of promotion for her child care policy, presenting it as a game-changer like PPACA was. But this isn’t the first time in this election where I’ve felt like the media is staffed with clones of the lead in Memento.

  10. 10.

    Ajabu

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    I am a guy and I find her particularly repulsive. Even if she were physically attractive (and – to me – she’s not) her personality and demeanor are light years away from attractive.
    And, her daddy thinks she’s hot. QED…

  11. 11.

    Ella in New Mexico

    Oh, FUCK IVANKA.

    She has Daddy issues. It’s a loyalty and level of denial the likes of which simply do NOT want to understand.

  12. 12.

    FlipYrWhig

    The whole Trump clan this year is like the Kardashians decided they were going to be Kennedys now and act like nothing had changed and dare anyone to notice. What? Layabout socialites who do nothing but surf our own celebrity? No, you’re thinking of someone else, we’re a serious family devoted to the American republic we hold sacred.

  17. 17.

    Helen

    Glad this is happening. Tired of the stupid opinions that Ivanka is “the smart one.” Or the “moral one”. OF COURSE SHE’S NOT. Everyone needs to see past her fake boobs and fake blond hair. She’s as stupid and vain and piggy greedy as her brothers.

  20. 20.

    burnspbesq

    Ivanka Trump brings to mind the hushed conversation between the admissions director and the head of the development office: the one that starts out with “we take jocks with those grades and test scores all the time, and none of their families will donate the money for a new computer center.”

  21. 21.

    hellslittlestangel

    @Howard Beale IV: Yes, the only competent person Trump has working for him is his tailor.

    And he’ll be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. I wouldn’t let Dr Bornstein take my temperature.

  22. 22.

    Kropadope

    Safe, affordable, high quality child care should not be the luxury of a fortunate few. Historically this has not been an area that has received nearly as much attention in the policy world as it deserves. While there are systems in place for older children, hardly any intellectual energy has been devoted to addressing the needs of families with children from birth to 4 years old.

    More evidence in the Republicans don’t actually listen to or care about the Democrats’ proposals, they just say the magic word “socialist” and everyone guards their pocketbook. Also, I’d bet boku bucks that Trump doesn’t try to pass any family leave act if he gets elected, watered down bill or not.

  25. 25.

    Dadadadadadada

    Pet peeve, since I too am burdened with an unusual surname that is very, very similar to a much more common one: it’s Johnston, not Johnson.

  26. 26.

    Nicole

    @Mike in NC: Actually, if you watched the GOP primaries (as, sadly, I did. All of them), you saw that Trump was taller than any of the other candidates, other than maybe Jeb.

    No biggie, as I don’t consider height to be an indicator of ability for anything other than certain sports. But a lot of folk seem to think a man being short is a moral failing so, you know, YMMV.

    (Although I am shallow enough to find Trump’s obsession about his tiny hands hilarious.)

  27. 27.

    Aleta

    Let me guess the details. Pull the funding from Early Head Start and CDF (since they discriminate against well-off white families, and that’s not fair); and set up IvanKinder Programs in gentrifying neighborhoods. In spaces rented from Trump-Brand franchised buildings. Hot meal and latrine service provided by HeilBurton; security by AttackWater.

  29. 29.

    Nicole

    @Mike in NC: (2nd attempt; sorry if this is a repost). No, his height is probably actually 6’2″- I watched every freaking GOP primary debate (dog help me) and he was taller than everyone except maybe Jeb Bush. I don’t think it’s nice to use height (or lack thereof) as an insult any more than weight, though.

  37. 37.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    So that’s the plan, Ivanka does the lady talk to keep those silly girls from fretting to much? I mean I am sure Ivanka, Trump’s third for forth wife, as a lot of influence over him.

  47. 47.

    opiejeanne

    @Kropadope: Doesn’t matter if he does get his proposal enacted because it only helps people who don’t really need it, people with upper-middle class incomes. And no parental leave for daddies, only for mommies, because men don’t do diapers, ick!

  50. 50.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @Adam L Silverman: I’m really tired. There’s too much going on right now to sit down and properly mourn. I’m mostly trying to do it while I’m at work or trying to get the house ready for appraisal, or preparing for all of the slots I’m supposed to GM at a con this weekend.

  54. 54.

    Ruckus

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Agreed. And if he is then his tailor is not good at all. But then I’ve always trusted a letter from a quack doc who thinks Trump is a fine specimen of a human, presented on a bullshit TV show.

  56. 56.

    Nicole

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: He said no way Trump was 6’2″; that he was more like 5’9″, but I think Trump is probably telling the truth about his height.

    And while I think it’s not cool to pick on men or women for being heavy, nor on short men for their stature, I do confess I am shallow enough to find Trump’s obsession over his small hands hilarious. It’s not the small hands; it’s that he’s clearly so sensitive about it.

    Speaking of sensitive- Ivanka’s interview with Cosmopolitan is hilarious reading because she gets mad as soon as the reporter tries to ask her some specific follow-up questions about the maternal leave plan (like, “So where does this leave same sex parents?”). And then runs for the door the second she can get off the phone. What a world when Cosmopolitan is where you have to go for some actual journalistic pushback.

  62. 62.

    shomi

    @SiubhanDuinne: Yea and don’t forget about Al Gore…because reasons. I read it right here on Ball Juice that we are totally going to lose because something something Al Gore. Also all the expert presidential campaign advisors that apparently hang around here commenting regularly pantswet over that or equally idiotic things. So you can take it to the bank.

  64. 64.

    Ruckus

    @Nicole:
    Of course it isn’t so much that he’s heavy, it’s that he seems to lie about the simplest things. Along with everything else of course but if he lies so easily about something that really doesn’t matter, one has to ask the question, why? And it isn’t just the lying, it’s that he has stories about it. Bullshit letters instead of actual records, his tax returns are being audited and therefore can’t be released, his businesses, how much money he has……. Most of this stuff really doesn’t matter, it’s that it just never ends, nothing that comes out of his mouth can be trusted.
    ETA One small correction, you can trust that the racist shit that comes out of his mouth is really him.

  65. 65.

    hovercraft

    @Nicole:
    Some comedian named Chris Gethard was on the Late Show, he’s 5’7″ and wears a size 11.5 shoe. Stephen congratulated him. The fact that Donnie has tiny hands clearly drives him nuts, because we all assume he has a small dick, (he does or he wouldn’t be so insecure).

  66. 66.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @opiejeanne:

    She said, she lied, on tv that Hillary doesn’t have a plan for parental leave. It’s been on Hillary’s website for over a year.

    But was there any factual correction from the host? Of course not. I’m not sure which is more insane — that they tell these blatant, obvious lies all the fucking time, or that the media either don’t correct them at all, or use weasel words “stretched the truth” “slightly inaccurate”).

  70. 70.

    Ruckus

    @hovercraft:
    He actually could be normal sized but he thinks that everything he has and does is so yooooge that it really doesn’t matter what the truth is, he is such an insecure pissant human being, the size of his dick, like his weight is not relevant.

  71. 71.

    hovercraft

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    They never challenge them, and there is no excuse for it in this case as
    ?BillinGlendaleCA noted above, when even the morning losers notice you’re full of shit, they knew. Plus Hillary tweeted the link to her website last night while they were still on stage, and all the media follow both candidates and their campaigns. They just can’t be bothered to fact check, because apparently it’s now the job of the viewer to do their own research, theirs is just to hobnob with celebrities.

  74. 74.

    hovercraft

    @Ruckus:
    Maybe, his family is said to have been dysfunctional. I’m still putting my money on dick insecurity, real or imagined.

  75. 75.

    hovercraft

    @Major Major Major Major:
    It’s the desire for ‘access’, that prevents them from calling them on their bullshit. They also just seem to be intimidated by republicans, they have no problem interrupting democrats, and browbeating them, but as soon as they get a little push back from rethugs they back off.

  76. 76.

    ruemara

    I hate to tell you this, but that’s about how I felt regarding Occupy people telling Rep. Lewis he couldn’t talk. It’s an epidemic of willful blindness and historical ignorance. Just not unique to the Trumplettes.

  77. 77.

    hovercraft

    I guess this is why when asked how long the “paid 12 weeks of maternity leave” had been in place the Trump campaign had no comment. Why wasn’t this part of every goddamn story about the proposal? Useless assholes.

    The Huffington Post on Wednesday morning checked the validity of Ivanka Trump’s comments to ABC. Employees at the Trump SoHo, New York and Miami hotels, as well as the Mar-a-Lago Club in Florida, all said that they do not offer workers paid maternity leave. Instead, they said that the company complied with the Family and Medical Leave Act, a federal law that requires companies to give employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off for the adoption or birth of a child.

    An undated employee handbook for the Trump International Hotel Las Vegas, obtained by HuffPost, states that workers there are entitled to unpaid family leave, in accordance with the FMLA. The manual notes that employees must “substitute their earned and unused vacation days and personal days for any otherwise unpaid FMLA leave.” That is, if employees want paid maternity or paternity leave, they have to use other paid time off that they’ve banked.

    Passed in 1993, the FMLA also allows for 12 weeks of unpaid time off to care for sick family members, or if the employee can’t work because of a serious health problem. But it does not guarantee workers any paid time off. A company must voluntarily provide it.

    Deirdre Rosen, the senior vice president of human resources at The Trump Organization, told HuffPost that the company does offer “an industry leading 8-week paid parental leave policy.” But her statement also said that “the policies and practices allowing employees to enjoy a healthy work-life balance vary from property to property.”

    “”The Trump Organization is proud of the family friendly environment it fosters throughout its portfolio,” she said. “We take an individualized approach to helping employees manage family and work responsibilities.”

    Rosen’s statement is at odds with Ivanka Trump’s insistence that all employees at the Trump Organization receive paid leave. Rosen declined to clarify who at the individual Trump Organization properties decides whether to provide the eight-week paid parental leave. The Trump Organization also did not say when the leave policy was put in place, though an official close to the company told HuffPost that it was only recently, during the campaign.

  79. 79.

    Ruckus

    @hovercraft:
    I’m not actually disagreeing, just noticing that it’s irrelevant. And I’d bet all his money that the family was dysfunctional. Hell mine was and I have a photo album to prove it. (That was a very, very inside joke in our family.) My point is that a lot of what Trump’s problems are have nothing to do with his hair, his hands, his dick, his weight, it’s what is in his head and the fact that his mouth is directly coupled to his ass so that everything that comes out is shit.

  81. 81.

    hovercraft

    @Ruckus:
    Agreed. I think we all have a little dysfunction in our lives, it’s just a matter of degree, and how we deal with it.

    EDIT : Goodnight.

  83. 83.

    Ruckus

    @hovercraft:
    True, I’d say that if your family doesn’t have a little dysfunction, you must be in the wrong house. We had a bit more than a little but not anywhere near what I suspect Trump’s had. Of course his folks could have been the nicest, bestest parents and he could still be a complete fucking asshole. But his dad was never in the running for father of the year, day or second. Ever. Think about it this way, the nut didn’t fall far from the family tree.

  84. 84.

    Bruce Webb

    @hovercraft: “Maybe, his family is said to have been dysfunctional. I’m still putting my money on dick insecurity, real or imagined.” Yes note that of the roughly four numbers he even had Oz report one was his testosterone. And naturally it was “high”.
    Low “T” is or can be a health condition, hight “T” is just a brag. Where it isn’t an indicator for prostrate risk.

  87. 87.

    opiejeanne

    @SiubhanDuinne: The NY Times described the lie as “stretching the truth” wrt her father’s nearly identical lies.
    In the second paragraph they point out the truth of the matter but never describe the lie as a lie.

  90. 90.

    Miss Bianca

    “hardly any intellectual energy has been devoted to addressing the needs of families with children from birth to 4 years old.hardly any intellectual energy has been devoted to addressing the needs of families with children from birth to 4 years old.”

    Note to Ivan-Come-Lately Republican Assholes: A *great* deal* of energy has been devoted to addressing these needs. It’s just that your asshole colleagues in the Congress have steadfastly refused to pass the needed legislation or, having passed it, refused to fund it after a few years, because Austerity and Fuck the Poor. You might want t read up, for example, on the Even Start Program, which your asshole colleagues decided not to refund, despite its receiving the coveted – and relatively rare – Effective rating for government programs. And that’s just for starters.

  91. 91.

    bluefish

    Ivanka = Stepford Daughter. Robotic. All surface, all the time. Glad that Donna Edwards didn’t demure last night when O’Donnell asked her if she wasn’t angry or some such over Ivanka’s blatant lying. “Welcome to my world!”

    It’s beyond creepy that this young woman is trotted out at every opportunity to offer policy prescriptions while the wife is in hiding. Will she be moving her family into the WH should it come to that? Cuz once you start hitching these free rides on the teevee train, stylists at your back and call, it can be hard to let go. You can see the ambition growing and growing behind those carefully made-up eyes.

  92. 92.

    psychobroad

    The term “halfwit” is seriously underutilized. Thank you, Cole, for doing your part to remedy that.

Comments are closed.