Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

He really is that stupid.

A consequence of cucumbers

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

No one could have predicted…

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

This really is a full service blog.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Donald Trump, welcome to your everything, everywhere, all at once.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The revolution will be supervised.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Republicans in disarray!

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

You are here: Home / Oh what a thing to do

Oh what a thing to do

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Hear me now, believe me later: as inconsequential as the Stormy Daniels story is, it could be very damaging for Trump.

I’m told that in her 60 Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper Daniels suggests that Trump, how to say this, likes it when women aren’t nice to him, treat him in perhaps denigrating ways.

In the meantime, try to hit 50K sometime soon for the Balloon Juice fund that is split equally among all eventual Democratic challengers in Republican House districts.

Goal Thermometer

Reader Interactions

92Comments

  5. 5.

    TenguPhule

    On the GOP House Ballwashing. Via Wapo.

    Rep. K. Michael Conaway (R-Tex.) noted that the worst the panel had uncovered was “perhaps some bad judgment, inappropriate meetings, inappropriate judgment at taking meetings.”

    This isn’t even a fig leaf. They’re not even trying at this point.

  9. 9.

    germy

    @TenguPhule:

    Rep. K. Michael Conaway (R-Tex.) noted that the worst the panel had uncovered was “perhaps some bad judgment, inappropriate meetings, inappropriate judgment at taking meetings.”

    Just a little light treason.

  11. 11.

    Alain the site fixer

    I believe that there’ve been some rumors circulating for a year or more about tapes of him being dominated being in the hands of folks in the intelligence world. I assumed it was just nasty rumors, but hmm. Maybe it’s not just smoke!

  12. 12.

    piratedan

    @TenguPhule: i.e….

    1) we never thought you would notice that we were taking Russian Money
    2) We never thought you would care that we were getting intel from the Russians
    3) We never suspected that seeking out help from the Russians would bite us on the ass
    4) so we’ll throw together 150 pages of easily refutable lies and tell all of you gullible SOB’s to “move along, nothing to see here”

  13. 13.

    hilts

    Phil Mudd on CNN: If House Intel Committee Republican Majority report were written on toilet paper, he wouldn’t wipe his ass with it.

    Kudos to Mudd

  15. 15.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et Al.)

    Jeez, you just had to know it would be something like that. He’s such a creepy, perverted guy, it would have to have been diapers or some other weird fetish. Though I’d have pegged his thing as more likely to be necrophilia or bestiality or something along those lines…

  16. 16.

    MJS

    @TenguPhule: House Republicans say “to-may-to”, Mueller says conspiracy and obstruction of justice. He’s not calling the whole thing off.

  18. 18.

    rikyrah

    I do disagree with you about Stormy being inconsequential.
    In the regular scheme of ‘ Affair and morals killing a candidate ‘ – you are right.
    But, it’s the money, and the questions about the money that make this story linger.
    Because, this money relates to other money.
    And, Stormy gives credibility to the woman paid off by the Enquirer…and to Wolf’s book that there are others. …

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    This Twitter reaction to the DeVos “60 Minutes” interview made me chuckle.

    Leslie Stahl: Explain again why burning down public schools with a blowtorch is good for students?

    Betsy DeVos: I choose B

    Leslie: This isn’t a multiple choice question

    Betsy DeVos: C

    Leslie: Do you even know what a “school” is?

    Betsy: (smiles so hard her mouth bleeds)

    The upcoming Stormy Daniels interview, and Trump’s furious reaction, should be a hoot.

  20. 20.

    Mike in DC

    There will be a HPSCI minority report, of course, which will come to a very different set of conclusions. And there’s enough left unexplored to guarantee a fresh investigation should control switch hands next year.

  23. 23.

    ? Martin

    @Alain the site fixer: Well, his book might have had something to do with that.

    Trump Tower is a work of fiction by Jeffrey Robinson, originally credited to Donald Trump,[1][2][3] and billed as Trump’s “debut novel” by the publisher.[6][7][8] It was first published in 2011 by Vanguard Press.[1][3] Trump had previously attempted to create a television series titled Trump Tower, modeled after Dallas, Dynasty, and Upstairs, Downstairs.[4][5] He worked with MVP Entertainment, contracted a writer in Los Angeles, and successfully had Showtime Networks develop a television pilot.[4] After receiving a payment for television rights to Trump Tower, he marketed the idea to Lifetime.[4] When the television series attempt did not pan out, Trump published the novel in 2011 by Vanguard Press with ghostwriter Robinson.[1] This original version was later subsumed by the 2012 edition which removed Trump’s name from the cover and credited Robinson as sole author.[8][9][10]

    The plot of the book is set within a fictional version of Trump Tower, with Trump himself appearing as a character in the work.[11] Detailed sex acts are depicted including BDSM and the rape of a woman.[12][6] An employee of the building is described having sex on the set of The Celebrity Apprentice.[13] The plot moves from erotica to murder mystery, and the building manager is initially a suspect before later being cleared.[13] Bill Clinton and other celebrities appear in cameo appearances.[13]
    …
    When the book was first given its initial International Standard Book Number, primary authorship was ascribed to Donald Trump.[19][13] The novel was catalogued in the Library of Congress with Trump as the main author.[5] Another edition attributed to Donald Trump was released the same year in audiobook format by Playaway Digital Audio.

    Yes, ghostwritten by someone else, but that’s true of every other book Trump has taken credit for.

  24. 24.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): Nope but I’ll listen to all the juicy details. I hope it shames and damages Trump even if just a little.

    If Stormy releases videos and text messages, it will put Trump supporters on the defense and turn off some of the White women who voted for him. Or so I hope.

  25. 25.

    rikyrah

    BREAKING: It turns out that Donald Trump was conspiring with an *active* FBI informant while he was secretly leveraging his presidential run in 2015 and 2016 to get a business deal with Russian nationals.

    Do I need to point out how *hard* that’s going to come back to bite him? https://t.co/yTbZgP1gp3

    — Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) March 12, 2018

    “Greed is my go-to weapon. I knew how to tap into that emotion. I would convince them that they’re going to make a lot of money with me.” Deep dive on Felix Sater from @a_cormier_ and @JasonLeopold https://t.co/nGtcEGSli4

    — Natasha Bertrand (@NatashaBertrand) March 12, 2018

  26. 26.

    Patricia Kayden

    @debbie: Good question. Perhaps Democrats in Congress are exhausted but I haven’t really heard them pushing this. If they take over Congress in November, such an investigation should be a priority along with impeaching the White House Occupant.

  27. 27.

    hilts

    Doug,

    What gives you any confidence that CBS has the intestinal fortitude to air the 60 Minutes interview with Stormy Daniels?

  28. 28.

    ? Martin

    So, I could give zero shits about Trump or anyone else’s sex life, but a lot of people have dirt on Trump and Trump will do anything to keep that from getting out, and everyone should care about that.

  29. 29.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mike in DC: I want televised hearing. Fredo, the Princess and Jared answering questions from Schiff and the other ex-prosecutors

  30. 30.

    TenguPhule

    @Patricia Kayden:

    but I haven’t really heard them pushing this.

    Announcing that you’re targeting an enemy political group right before elections isn’t sound strategy.

  32. 32.

    Annie

    I’ve always thought that the only thing that could hurt Dolt45 with his base was if he appeared weak. And oddly enough I wondered if perhaps he was somebody who liked to be mistreated.

    This would explain why he paid Stormy to be quiet.

  33. 33.

    Betty Cracker

    It wouldn’t surprise me at all if it comes out that Trump has a thing for being flogged, shat upon, peed on, etc. His seemingly boundless self-regard masks a bottomless pit of need for affirmation because, at his core, he knows he’s a worthless piece of shit. Classic narcissism.

  34. 34.

    TenguPhule

    @Patricia Kayden:

    If Stormy releases videos and text messages, it will put Trump supporters on the defense and turn off some of the White women who voted for him.

    The males of the tribe want to be him, the females to be under him.

  35. 35.

    rikyrah

    @Patricia Kayden:

    If Stormy releases videos and text messages, it will put Trump supporters on the defense and turn off some of the White women who voted for him. Or so I hope.

    I don’t need for them to be turned off. Could care less. Do want the capability of throwing it in their faces.

  41. 41.

    TenguPhule

    the draft picks apart a central assessment made by the U.S. intelligence community shortly after the 2016 election — that Russian meddling in the campaign was intended to help Trump and support Democrat Hillary Clinton. Committee aides said they spent hundreds of hours reviewing raw source material used by the intelligence services to make that claim and that it did not meet the appropriate standards.

    FFS, this is beyond parody.

    “All that work Russia invested into attacking Hillary and promoting Donald really doesn’t prove that Russia was actually attacking Hillary and helping Donald.”

    Time to pack it up, Onion.

    It will blame officials in former President Barack Obama’s administration for a “lackluster” response and look at leaks from the intelligence community to the media.

  45. 45.

    Brachiator

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et Al.):

    Jeez, you just had to know it would be something like that. He’s such a creepy, perverted guy, it would have to have been diapers or some other weird fetish.

    Daniels originally claimed that sex with Trump was fairly vanilla. Juicing up the story for 60 Minutes may hurt her credibility.

    Also, in the scheme of themes, dominance play and diapers are next door to vanilla for a lot of people.

    OTOH, anything that makes Trump nervous is a good thing.

  46. 46.

    TenguPhule

    GOP-led House investigation concludes no Trump-Russia collusion

    The report is also expected to turn the subject of collusion toward the Clinton campaign, saying an anti-Trump dossier compiled by a former British spy and paid for by Democrats was one way that Russians tried to influence the election. Conaway did not suggest that Clinton knowingly coordinated with the Russians, but said the dossier clearly “would have hurt him and helped her.”

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  47. 47.

    MoCA Ace

    @Corner Stone:

    GOD DAM IT!!!! i was going to complain about a trigger warning but I should have known better than to wade into the comments on this one.

    fuck the brain bleach… I’m thinking rubbing alcohol and a match!

  48. 48.

    ? Martin

    @hilts: They may not, but it’d be such a dumb move on their part. The story will still come out, and then everyone will ask why CBS didn’t air what they had, and why the sucked up to Trump instead of reporting the news. You’d think they’d have learned from the last time 60 Minutes was in this situation. They ended up getting scooped by the WSJ on a story they had months before. They gained nothing, and lost a huge amount of credibility in the process.

    And what’s the risk – that Trump will sue them? The president can’t do that. I doubt the NDA that Stormy signed would stand up if what she says implicates Trump in any kind of illegal act, no matter how minor.

  49. 49.

    ? Martin

    @TenguPhule:

    Announcing that you’re targeting an enemy political group right before elections isn’t sound strategy.

    Apparently neither is not announcing it.

  50. 50.

    Corner Stone

    @MoCA Ace: You thought this thread was going to go somewhere else? Really?
    I can’t wait for the ball gag / pig oinker photoshops to own the interwebs.

  55. 55.

    different-church-lady

    Trump, how to say this, likes it when women aren’t nice to him

    Ah, well that certainly explains a lot about his behavior towards women — he’s ensuring he gets what he wants.

  56. 56.

    TenguPhule

    @Roger Moore:

    There are some strong indications he’s interested in underage girls.

    And that they don’t have to be willing or conscious.

  57. 57.

    Betty Cracker

    @Emma: Al Capone, tax evasion, etc. But a sex scandal won’t take out Pence (that we know of! ?), so yeah, good point.

  60. 60.

    Gretchen

    She did say he liked her to spank him with a rolled up magazine with Ivanka on the cover. Or maybe that was another girlfriend? Is there worse?

  61. 61.

    rikyrah

    PA DEMOCRATS: Firm up your plans NOW for voting tomorrow
    Check your polling place, open 7am – 8pmhttps://t.co/cDhtu3NCQk
    Make sure you bring proper ID if necessary
    Please give rides to those who need them
    BRING FRIENDS AND FAMILY pic.twitter.com/VBKy6vNZo9

    — meta (@metaquest) March 12, 2018

  62. 62.

    Mary G

    Schiff is having none of Devin’s nonsense:

    BREAKING: GOP just shut down House Intel investigation, leaving questions unanswered, leads unexplored, countless witnesses uncalled, subpoenas unissued.If Russians have leverage over the President, GOP has decided that it would rather not know. The minority's work continues: pic.twitter.com/oOf13n75Vo— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) March 12, 2018

  63. 63.

    Aleta

    Daily Mail:

    Erik Prince, the billionaire Blackwater founder and Kirill Dmitriev, a Russian banker close to the Kremlin met in the Seychelles in January 2017
    Robert Mueller is probing the meeting amid claims it was an attempt to set up a back channel between the Kremlin and the Trump transition
    Prince denies that is the case and says it was a chance meeting after he went to the island to meet the crown prince of Abu Dhabi , Mohamed bin Zayed
    But DailyMail.com can reveal that Zayed brought with him Hamad al Mazroie, the de facto head of the United Arab Emirates intelligence service
    He also brought Mohammed Dahlan, a bin Zayed adviser who is fluent in Russian and is seen as a conduit from the UAE to Putin’s Kremlin
    Prince did not disclose both men’s presence when he testified under oath about the meeting to the House Intelligence Committee

  67. 67.

    MomSense

    @ruemara:

    The young woman who dropped her case in the summer before the election because of death threats, seemed to be suggesting that victims were disappeared.

  70. 70.

    ruemara

    @MomSense: And underage. These murders by Russia are definitely so public, they’re more of “don’t think we can’t touch you” statement than fucking wearing that as a t-shirt.

  72. 72.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Emma:

    Way too much goddamned information. I want him for treason not sex.

    That would be my first choice, too, but as long as they get him on something I’m not particular as to the details. If they have tape of him stealing pennies from Barron’s piggy bank to buy a box of XXXL Depends, that works for me.

  73. 73.

    Schlemazel

    Interesting. The OSS dug a lot into the Austrian paper hangers proclivities in order to get ‘inside his head”. One this that the very few women he had relationships with said was that he liked to be humiliated and abused.

  74. 74.

    Doug R

    @Brachiator:

    Daniels originally claimed that sex with Trump was fairly vanilla. Juicing up the story for 60 Minutes may hurt her credibility.

    I dunno, I heard about her spanking him with a Forbes magazine in just the first revelation.

  78. 78.

    jc

    Trump is all about Trump. His self-regard – oh, what a towering genius He is. And those other guys (losers) must see what a stud he is, right? Women are just p*ssies to be grabbed (only if they’re hot enuf).

    Same with “President” Trump: His towering ego comes First. America is an afterthought.

    It’s a pathetic state of affairs. Anyone who voted for this slime-bag is an idiot.

  82. 82.

    zhena gogolia

    We’re watching the “lost JFK inaugural gala” on PBS. I thought they were going to just let us watch it. But they keep interrupting with Todd Purdum or Doris Kearns Goodwin. I want to hear Nat King Col’s kickass rendition of “Surrey with the Fringe on Top,” not Doris Kearns frickin Goodwin!

  83. 83.

    Chip Daniels

    So that’s why Trump ran.
    He was hoping Hillary would spank him in the general election, but these are not bright people, and things got out of hand…

  88. 88.

    sukabi

    @brendancalling: a close look at the fine print on Ms. Daniels non nondisclosure reveals that any materials including photos, audio recordings and video must be turned over….

    It’s very possible that Drumpf wanted to “relive” his Stormy adventures at a later date…

  89. 89.

    The Midnight Lurker

    @? Martin: A screenwriter buddy of mine got hired to write a pilot starring Trump as the Devil years ago. It was about an NY cop who accidentally discovers that the Trump character(?) is actually the Devil. Hilarity ensues… I assume. Never read it. My buddy did tell me that the Devil lived at 666 Park Ave. I did laugh at that.

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