Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

We are aware of all internet traditions.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Fight them, without becoming them!

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

… gradually, and then suddenly.

You are here: Home / Healthcare / COVID-19 / We Have a New Mayor of America and He Is Amazing

Reader Interactions

69Comments

  4. 4.

    Sab

    We walked our dogs by the little neighborhood park (actually named Korona Park) three days ago and a bunch of neighborhood kids were playing on the equipment. Two days ago there was caution tape roping off the playground equipment, the basketball court and the tennis court. Yesterday the equipment was still roped off but the kids were back on the basketball court. Today the city took down the basketball hoops and the tennis net.

  6. 6.

    The Moar You Know

    “Wash your hands you filthy animals” is the most helpful and truthful thing I think any public official has said in my entire life.

  9. 9.

    m.glafmer

    How far is it from Walton KY to the Noah’s Ark in KY? He’s dealing with some righteous people.

  10. 10.

    Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ

    @Melusine:. I second this.  Do you remember those comedians that did The Blue Collar Comedy Tour?  One of those goobers used to have a saying that popped into my head after reading this post…”That’s funny right there….I don’t care who you are!!!”

  20. 20.

    James E Powell

    Twitter is on fire with #TimesUpBiden – sexual assault allegations. I’m thinking Trump & Co were saving this for later in the campaign, but brought it out now to distract from Trump’s disastrous conduct.

    So what do you all think?

  21. 21.

    laura

    @Amir Khalid: oh that lovely man – he sawed me in half with a chain saw once•. The roadies brothers toured with Wierd Al in the mid-80’s and will sing his praises till the end of time. •I got to be the upper half of the patient in “like a surgeon.”

  22. 22.

    Mnemosyne

    @James E Powell:

    Given that his accuser seems to have appeared on the Dr. Phil show claiming that she was secretly engaged to Vladimir Putin and that she’s posted many online essays about her love for Putin and Russia, some of them actually in Russian … let’s say that I’m wary of her credibility.

  23. 23.

    John Revolta

    @Amir Khalid: I shoulda known. Pretty good though.

    Here’s a bit of rock’n’roll trivia: the guy who played drums on the original recording of that is the same guy who played drums in Derek & the Dominoes. His name was Jim Gordon and he’s maybe my favorite drummer of all time. Dead now, sadly, but he played on tons of stuff…….he was a very busy session guy in the ’60s.

  24. 24.

    burnspbesq

    @James E Powell:

    The torch-bearers on this appear to be Reason, the Intercept, the Federalist, and National Review.

    Skeptical? You bet your ass I’m skeptical.

    ETA: Democracy Now is also in on the act, which doesn’t make me any less skeptical.

  26. 26.

    Bruce K

    @James E Powell: Trump is the greater evil by many orders of magnitude. He and the GOP will destroy America, and at this point, I’m not speaking metaphorically any more.

  27. 27.

    mrmoshpotato

    @James E Powell:

    Twitter is on fire with #TimesUpBiden – sexual assault allegations. I’m thinking Trump & Co were saving this for later in the campaign, but brought it out now to distract from Trump’s disastrous conduct.

    So what do you all think?

    Fuck Dump!  Fuck Wilmer!  Any questions?!

  31. 31.

    James E Powell

    @mrmoshpotato:

    I get you. I’m curious how this will be handled by the press/media. They pretty much buried the claims against Trump. It’s like they never existed even though he bragged about doing it.

  32. 32.

    trollhattan

    “Warmest regards”

    That’s the stuff. Bless you, mayor. Safe journeys. And your loser townies also, too.

  33. 33.

    John Revolta

    @laura: Wow. Between that and having been sawn in half by Weird Al, I’m pretty impressed!

    I got to see JG play with the Dominoes and geez. It wasn’t just his stellar drumming abilities but he had a musicality…………always played the right thing at the right time. When the shit went down I was pretty sad for some time.

    ETA: Wait, his late mother was her brother? Is that like “That man’s father is my father’s son?”

  34. 34.

    Sab

    @Sab: I have lived here twenty years and have never seen anyone play tennis.

    Basketball hoops gone on the other hand will be rough for the kids but will keep them safer.

  35. 35.

    Dan B

    @Amir Khalid:  Laura has a direct connection but Weird Al Yankovic has been a fixture in th US for years. I’m sure there’s much more, like Laura’s psrt in the parody spoof of Madonna’s breakout hit “Like a Virgin”. His parody was “Like a Surgeon”. It gets weird when you realize the next line is “For the very first time.” something little appreciated in surgery – very very little appreciated.

  38. 38.

    Darkrose

    @James E Powell: I heard about this yesterday when I first started seeing #DropOutBiden trending on Twitter. I’m skeptical for several reasons, but especially:

    1. None of this came out when Biden was being vetted for the VP slot, or in the 8 years that he served as Obama’s VP.
    2. The accuser spoke out last year when other women were pointing out Biden’s inappropriate touching (which was always described as patronizing, creepy, and infantalizing, but never sexual). The allegation of actual rape was not mentioned at that time.
    3. The interview is a SoundCloud of a podcast with Katie Halper, who works with Matt Taibbi, a virlulent misogynist who’s admitted to sexually harrassing women. Halper is in no way, shape, or form a credible journalist.

    This really strikes me as a Hail Mary by desperate Sanders stans–and possibly people in his campaign–who weren’t able to get any traction with the “Biden had dementia!” bullshit, and are trying to come up with something to force Biden out of the race so that Bernie can be crowned the nominee.

  40. 40.

    Darkrose

    @mrmoshpotato: In a Medium post in December 2018 (that has since been taken down) she wrote:

    I love Russia with all my heart … President Putin scares the power elite in America because he is a compassionate, caring, visionary leader.

  41. 41.

    JAFD

    Had an appointment this coming Monday morning with my cardiologist.  Am now told to fire up smartphone for ‘virtual video doctor’s visit’.  Anyone wants to give me advice for this ?

    Slightly related:  Have (because reasons…) two smartphones and one SIM card for Lifeline/Obamaphone service (currently with SafeLink (Tracfone subsidiary), in process of switching to Assurance (VirginMobile subsid, highly unlikely service will be any worse))

    What I’d like to do is get another SIM card, good for a half-hour of calls for an unlimited time, put that into Phone #2, keep as emergency backup.  Anyone know how I can do that ?

    Thanks, very much, for your help.

  42. 42.

    Feathers

    @Sab: Some friends are planning to get some tennis going because it is a social distanced sport. They’re playing singles, with no one allowed to come closer than four feet to the net. Should work, but I understand having to take down the nets if people aren’t being safe.

  43. 43.

    mrmoshpotato

    @James E Powell: But are these claims remotely true or bullshit?

    I hear Liz Warren had a sexy sidepiece. :)  (That was a hilarious failure on part of the ratfucking kids.)

  46. 46.

    Brachiator

    The Corona Virus is to big for Trump to handle, and now we see how he is going to deal with it.

    He is going to run away.

    He called in to the Hannity show to do his best Pontius Pilate, and wash his hands of the whole mess.

    “Remember, we are a second line of attack,” he exclaimed. “The first line of attack is supposed to be the hospitals and the local government and the states.”

    Trump may be scrambling to try to cover his own ass.

    If he takes this position at his next official briefing, I don’t know. I can’t even contemplate the consequences.

  48. 48.

    Martin

    @Mike J: Street racing, ironically, may now be the safest amateur sport.

    Edit: daughter reminds me that bowling might be it. Just take different lanes.

  52. 52.

    Van Buren

    Are there any other countries in the whole goddam world where the leader of the country is saying, “Eh, not my fault. Not my problem.”?

    That is when he’s not busy trying to figure out how he and his cronies can make money off the whole thing.

  53. 53.

    Mai naem mobile

    1. @JAFD: I don’t know if this helps I did this for my mom as an emergency  back up for her landline going down. Tmobile(and it’s only tmobile afaik) has a deal where you get a total of 500 minutes good for a year for $50 total. If you don’t use the 500 minutes before  the 12 months are up you go in and add $5 and it extends the whatever minutes you had left to another 12 months . The thing is I don’t think a tracfone will work on tmobile so you would need a phone that will work on tmobile. I can’t remember if they charged some nominal amount for the sim card or if it was free.
  54. 54.

    Amir Khalid

    @Dan B:

    I remember Like a Surgeon, Eat It, Dare To Be Stupid, One More Minute, Smells Like Nirvana, and all the rest of Weird Al’s early stuff from back in the day.

  55. 55.

    Amir Khalid

    @Van Buren:

    Trump’s shocking conduct and performance re COVID-19 are impeachable. I know it’s not going to happen given the political circumstances and the timing. But his indifference to anything other than his image and his actual sabotage of the fight against the pandemic are heinous.

  58. 58.

    SFAW

    @Sab:

    Were those poblanos she put in the blender with the tomatoes?

    I think she said they were guajillos, but my Spanish is extremely rusty.

  59. 59.

    SFAW

    @Mnemosyne:

    Libtard. How DARE you doubt that she’s not the most honestest, sanest, not-lyingest-oh-no “accuser” who ever lived.

    The question I have (because I refuse to go anywhere near that shit): do we know if she’s a shill for the Traitor-in-Chief? Or for Bernie? [No, none o’ that “Por que no los dos?” crap] I know at least one jackal has opined she’s a Bernie Ho Bro, but …

  60. 60.

    Chris Johnson

    @Feathers: 
    Should work, if you play your tennis without use of a ball :D

    Color coded balls? If it’s the other person’s ball you cannot touch it, gotta just punt it their direction with the end of your racquet? Not perfect, just better than a lot of sports.

  61. 61.

    zhena gogolia

    I posted this yesterday and asked since when did Cole became the mayor of a town in KY.

  62. 62.

    evodevo

    @m.glafmer: CreationWorld is down I-75 in the next county, but the demographic makeup is the same…right winger central.  I am really surprised that they elected someone competent.  Boone County used to be the home of some of the most corrupt politicians in the state.  HOWEVER, Greater Cincinnati airport is a Delta hub, and there is a LOT of industry nowadays, so maybe a saner population than we have elsewhere.  My husband worked in that school system for many years in the ’90’s, so we are very familiar with the locale.

  65. 65.

    Tom Streeter

    @m.glafmer: Walton is ~17 miles north of the Ark of the Ham*. The northern half of Boone County is largely a bedroom community for Cincinnati, but the southern end is pretty rural. Our local Congresscritter is Thomas ‘I’m an evil potted plant’ Massie, so you can guess what the body politic is like around here. I have some interaction with local elected officials and for the most part they’re a good bunch.

    That Facebook group is why I closed all my social media accounts last November. It’s a Petri dish of corrosive stupid

    *Ken Ham is the grifter behind both the Ark and the Creation “Museum.”

  66. 66.

    Tom Streeter

    @evodevo: The big driver at CVG is Amazon now. They’ve ripped the ever-living hell out some old farmland out toward Burlington to build their new air operations center. Delta shifted its hub to Detroit a few years back, but I think overall landings are up because of DHL, Polar and Amazon.

    We live just west of there. There are still planes taking off, but it’s been weirdly quiet.

  69. 69.

    The Golux

    @John Revolta:

    Jim Gordon…Dead now, sadly

    Tremendously late to this thread, but Jim Gordon is still alive; however, he has been in psychiatric prison since killing his mother in 1984.

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