Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I desperately hope that, yet again, I am wrong.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Donald Jessica Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Cole is on a roll !

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

It’s a new day. Light all those Biden polls of young people on fire and throw away the ashes.

It’s a doggy dog world.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / HA HA HA

HA HA HA

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The Mayorkas impeachment vote just failed because four turncoat RINOS joined with the Democrats to vote “no”.  The traitor list follows:

Reps. Blake D. Moore (Utah), Mike Gallagher (Wis.), Tom McClintock (Calif.) and Ken Buck (Colo.)

I was pretty sure they’d get this done if they were going to bring it to the floor for a vote, but Rev. Johnson is no Nancy Pelosi when it comes to counting votes, so, again, hahahahahaha.

Reader Interactions

170Comments

  2. 2.

    sab

    Wow. Counting is an elementary school skill unless your people do not trust you or your people are liars. Neither is a good look.

  7. 7.

    bbleh

    Per CNN, Moore switched his vote to allow the Reps to bring it up again — procedural arcana here — so he’s not really a “no.”  The other 3 better stay at a motel for a few nights …

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    Buck and McClintock had made no secret of the fact that they were planning on voting no. I guess leadership was counting on no additional defections?

  9. 9.

    sab

    Kept them from spending time on Ukraine money, so also not a good look.

    If we fuck this up our grandchildren (I am an old) will be fighting in Europe like our grandparents did.

  13. 13.

    Tom Levenson

    Duplicate.

    So I’ll say something else. There have been few to equal Speaker Johnson’s achievement: he sets the mark for wrong man at the wrong time. An evil buffoon; a villain who would be merely bathetic but for the way his time on the stage damages so many so deeply.

  15. 15.

    JML

    The ability to count votes and maintain an accurate count is the key ability for a Whip, and one of the biggest indicators of a good Speaker or Majority Leader in terms of their ability to get things done. GOP ain’t exactly picking their leadership teams based on ability to do their jobs any longer.

    I know LBJ’s name is mud with a lot of folks around here, but he was a genius at counting votes. Pelosi was elite at it as well, probably the best since Rayburn (may well have been better, harder to judge across eras). It’s a massive skill, hugely important in actually passing legislation. But the GOP hasn’t been interested in legislating in so long, no wonder they can’t count any longer.

  16. 16.

    oldster

    Someone has failed the Orange One, and he will demand that Speaker Johnson immediately commit seppuku in order to atone for his failure.

    Circular firing squads are my favorite kind, on the Republican side of the aisle.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    Washington Post headline right now: “In a stunning vote, House fails to impeach Mayorkas over border issues”

    Only “stunning” because 98% of the House GOP caucus are willing to blindly impeach out of pure partisanship and a mere 2% didn’t go along.

  19. 19.

    bbleh

    @Betty Cracker: it is the GREATEST PARADE EVER!! Many people are saying so!  Guy came up to me — big guy, Marine, been in many parades, tears in his eyes — said “sir, this is greater than any parade I ever led!”  Greater than any parade.  Greater than any parade.  That’s really something.

  20. 20.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    The Independent Senator from Arizona was on NPR talking about the failure of the border bill and for once she didn’t pull any punches WRT where to place the blame. At one point she flat out said that after bitching about it for year it turns out  her Republican colleagues don’t want to fix the border.

    Hopefully that’s the narrative that sets in…that they have ONE THING they wanted fixed and given the opportunity they couldn’t even get that done.

  21. 21.

    Jeffro

    best comment on Twitter so far re: the failed impeachment

     

    BREAKING: GOP advances to championship round of National Stepping-On-Rakes competition

  22. 22.

    HeleninEire

    Wow. Johnson is gonna go down in history as a Jesus freak…whose God didn’t give a fuck what he wanted.

    Perhaps he should pray more.

  23. 23.

    Jeffro

    @Alison Rose: evergreen indeed!

    I was hoping that President Biden would start referring to trumpov as “Speaker Trump”, but he’d be fine referring to Marge as “Speaker Greene”, too.

    ’cause Johnson sure isn’t no Speaker as the term has been commonly understood!

  26. 26.

    eclare

    @JML:

    I remember Nancy going on Colbert a few weeks before the 2018 midterms.  She was 1000% confident that Democrats would retake the House.  She knows how to count lots of things.

  27. 27.

    dmsilev

    The Post again:

    Four Republicans voted with Democrats against the effort to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas — Reps. Blake D. Moore (Utah), Mike Gallagher (Wis.), Tom McClintock (Calif.) and Ken Buck (Colo.). Gallagher, McClintock and Buck had previously signaled disagreements with the effort. Moore, meanwhile, changed his “yes” vote to a “no” in a procedural move that will allow the articles of impeachment to be brought back for another vote at a later date.

    So, the House GOP “leadership” knew ahead of time that the best that they were going to get is a 215-215 tie, which from what I read meant that the measure would fail (needs a majority of votes), and yet they went ahead with it anyway, probably because The Base demands that they Take Action. Or because they have a humiliation fetish. Or both.

  29. 29.

    Fake Irishman

    @JML:

    Beat me to the Rayburn reference, I’m working my way through a biography of him recommended by the folks who “run” LBJ’s X/ twitter feed. They are probably having a ball tonight.

  31. 31.

    Jackie

    Heads up: Rachel Maddow and the gang will hold a Celebration at the 8 ET hour on MSNBC – The All In with Chris Hayes time slot. It’s to go over the No Immunity for citizen Trump, but I’m pretty sure the failed impeachment vote will also be celebrated!

    Bring spirits of choice and 🍿!

  33. 33.

    PaulWartenberg

    Remember when Speaker Johnson compared himself to Moses leading his people through the desert?

    Johnson can’t even lead his people through the local Taco Bell parking lot.

    “I asked you to kill Superman, and you can’t even do that one simple thing…” — second funniest line from Superman III

  36. 36.

    Anotherlurker

    I guess I was a bit pessimistic, I expected the toddlers (apologies to 1 to 3 year olds) to hang together.

  38. 38.

    Another Scott

    It’s worse than them not being able to count – they were counting on someone on the other side not being able to make the vote.

    GovTrack.us
    @[email protected]

    Well that was dramatic. The attempt to impeach Sec. Mayorkas – not for high crimes and misdemeanors, but for, at best, maladministration (depending on your partisan perspective) – has failed. The GOP was counting on Rep. Green, a TX Dem, not making it in time to vote. But he did and with 3 GOP nos, that tied it at 215-215 which means the resolution fails. At the end, another GOP rep changed their vote to no so it can be brought up again, but it was Rep. Green’s surprise appearance that did it.

    Feb 06, 2024, 18:52

    Clowns. 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

    Good for Rep. Al Green (good name) for being there and making them fail yet again.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  39. 39.

    bbleh

    @dmsilev: ima guess they had no choice — they were all-in already.  To have backed out would have looked no worse, and by going ahead maybe they figured they still had a tiny little chance.

    Wonder what’s gonna happen now.  Bribes and death threats and try again?  Back away uttering threats about “next time”?  Or maybe — oh please, oh please — an orgy of recrimination and backbiting, including possible Motion to Vacate?

  40. 40.

    Scout211

    Tom McClintock is my Rep.  He typically votes exactly the way leadership wants him to vote.  But he was a strong supporter of Kevin McCarthy, so . . . ?

  43. 43.

    Jackie

    @oldster:

    Someone has failed the Orange One, and he will demand that Speaker Johnson immediately commit seppuku in order to atone for his failure.

    Even funnier, “everyone” knows Johnson is “Speaker-In-Name” only: TIFG is the REAL Speaker of the House.

  46. 46.

    smith

    @dmsilev: yet they went ahead with it anyway, probably because The Base demands that they Take Action.

    The Base consisting of Donald J Trump, of course, the GQP’s only constituent.

  47. 47.

    Jeffro

    also, it looks like Ted Cruz is laying the blame for the “disastrous” border bill on…Mitch McConnell?!?

  48. 48.

    scav

    Shouldn’t the classic “Are we tired of winning yet?” be hauled out for a rerun?

    What a day.

  49. 49.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Tom Levenson:

    These people couldn’t organize a one car funeral.

    Not even if you spotted them the hearse, the chief mourner, and a tasteful wreath of calla lilies.

  52. 52.

    japa21

    Just as Trump made people almost nostalgic for Bush the Lesser, Johnson almost makes people nostalgic for McCarthy the Loser.

  53. 53.

    eclare

    WaPo reporting the stand alone aid to Israel bill also didn’t pass.  Wow.  Talk about total dysfunction.

  58. 58.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Jackie:

    Oh, many thanks for the alert! I have a pleasant Pinot noir that’s simply yearning to be opened, and a lovely dark dark (78%) chocolate which I know from experience is a good companion.

  60. 60.

    AnthroBabe

    Of course my MAGA rep Eli Crane voted yes, the PUTZ.

    Other AZ peeps: we should have a Phoenix (or Flagstaff!) meet up in Spring! Welcome John to the land of the saguaro cactus and pine trees!

  68. 68.

    Another Scott

    @eclare: That’s Ok.

    Just like Wile E. Coyote, he says he’ll try again.

    TheHill.com

    Johnson, however, is already eyeing another go at approving the Israel aid by itself. Ahead of the vote on Tuesday, the Speaker told reporters his “Plan B” is bringing the bill to the floor next week through regular order, which would require first approving a procedural rule — a reality that could run into resistance from the same conservatives who helped kill his first effort.

    But, but, he’s a Sooper Genius. It’s a foolproof plan!!1

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  72. 72.

    Jackie

    This is gonna be interesting! TIFG plans to take over RNC FUNDRAISING?!

    “Trump’s political organization is considering a plan that would essentially set up two separate organizations: It would leave McDaniel as chairwoman, but she would essentially be a sort of figurehead. Meanwhile staffers closely aligned with Trump would also be installed and have significant power over party operations.”

    “Under the plan, two Trump-picked co-chairs would be put in place — one to oversee fundraising and the other to oversee party operations.”

    The RNC is already running on fumes… When TIFG starts dipping his extremely sticky fingers in that cookie jar… let’s add theft to his resume.

  75. 75.

    Miss Bianca

    @PaulWartenberg: I liked what some other Internet wag said about Johnson comparing himself to Moses – something to the effect of, “So, he’ll be leading the Republicans into wandering around in the wilderness for 40 years? Cool, cool.”

  76. 76.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Jackie: ​ 

    What could go wrong? There’s never been a better political strategist than that fat fuck. All I can see WINNING!

  78. 78.

    cain

    @Jackie: Doesn’t look great for Nicki given that Trump’s people are taking over the RNC. She’s got zero chance at this point.

  84. 84.

    JoyceH

    I’m just assuming that Johnson promised Trump this impeachment (Trump wants lots of impeachments to trivialize the process and dilute the impact of his own two), so with or without the votes, Johnson had to bring it to the floor to prove to the boss that he tried to get it done.

  85. 85.

    Geminid

    @Jackie: I wonder who Trump has in mind for the RNC posts. Probably some 3rd rate sycophants who’ve been lobbying for the job. Trump’s a trash magnet.

  86. 86.

    kindness

    Tom McClintock is my miserable Republican Congressman.  We had been represented by a moderate Democrat but in losing a seat due to census, they cut Modesto in half.  My part went with the asshole.  Honestly there are a lot worse Republicans in Congress but it still chafes me.  The district is red with redistricting.  Not sure how red.  McClintock acts like he’s on a highwire which he is.

  89. 89.

    Jackie

    @cain: She’ll raise hell – along with the millions she’s raked in since she finally started attacking TIFG. If she suspects any hanky panky… the blood we see flowing won’t be from her!

  90. 90.

    cain

    @Baud: True – but it’s very unseemly to have Trump people move into the RNC before he’s declared as the candidate. It’s like you are not giving the process a chance at all.

    I don’t think that has ever happened to any political party. That will open up some bad precedents if other authoritarians show up.

  92. 92.

    scav

    @Jackie: How soon until he renames the entire party after himself to bask in the reflected glory of his legendary steaks, towers and university?

  97. 97.

    Geminid

    @JoyceH: Yes, and those knuckledraggers in the Freedom Caucus likely demanded a a vote also. They mostly live in deep-red districts and they act like purple district Republicans are expendable. Idiots.

  103. 103.

    Elizabelle

    Scanning WaPost on today’s Failpalooza recaps and

    Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) has been seen having conversations with his staff and House Majority Whip Tom Emmer (R-Minn.), who is responsible for counting votes.

    Emmer, Emmer, Emmer.  The guy who said “that’s their perspective” about the Border Patrol supporting the immigration bill.   Steve Doocy (!) : “It’s their job.” [Video in an earlier blogpost today.]

    Responsible for counting the votes.  Yes indeedy.

  104. 104.

    Jackie

    @Geminid: It will be interesting. I saw this earlier today:

    Republican National Committee chief of staff Mike Reed is set to step down from his role later this month, Politico reports.

  106. 106.

    BlueGuitarist

    @kindness:

    “losing a seat due to census”

    Montana’s population increased by 90k and MT gained a seat in the House. CA’s population increased by more than the entire population of MT but CA lost a seat because of the ridiculous cap on the size of the house at 435 and the apportionment formula based on the geometric mean (yet another bias toward small states).

  108. 108.

    Citizen Alan

    @kindness: I tried my damnedest to get into Jim Costa’s district, but the best apartment I found had a kitchen far too small. And I couldn’t find anything in Valadeo’s district in the hopes I could help kick his ass out. So I’m in McClintock’s.

  110. 110.

    dmsilev

    @Another Scott:

    From the FTNYT:

    Ronna McDaniel, R.N.C. Chairwoman, Plans to Step Down
    Donald Trump is likely to back an election denier, Michael Whatley, the head of the North Carolina G.O.P., to replace her.
    The chairwoman of the Republican National Committee, Ronna McDaniel, has told former President Donald J. Trump she is planning to step down shortly after the South Carolina primary on Feb. 24, according to two people familiar with the plans.
    Mr. Trump is then likely to promote the chairman of the North Carolina Republican Party, Michael Whatley, as her replacement, according to several people familiar with the discussions. Under the arcana of the committee’s rules, however, Mr. Trump cannot simply install someone, and a new election must take place.

  111. 111.

    Old School

    @JPL:

    WHAT is she talking about?

    A Texas Rep was out due to surgery, so Republicans thought the impeachment could be approved with 215 votes.  But Rep. Green showed up.

  113. 113.

    Baud

    @dmsilev:

    Under the arcana of the committee’s rules, however, Mr. Trump cannot simply install someone, and a new election must take place.

     
    Elections are arcana?

    I guess if you’re the GOP…

  119. 119.

    Geminid

    @Jackie: The RNC guy probably didn’t need much of a push. It’s best to jump from the locomotive if you see a trainwreck up ahead.

  120. 120.

    Elizabelle

    Trump is a crook.  He has been banned from running a charity in NYS.  How can he just take over the RNC (not that they aren’t bastards too) …?

    I wonder if these antics are inspiring the courts to act a bit faster.

  122. 122.

    Elizabelle

    Mitch McConnell is going to have another injury from banging his head into a floor on purpose this time.

  123. 123.

    cain

    @Another Scott: Ronna could not please the orange tyrant huh? Even changing her name and various other things. One career ruined. Many more to go.

    I bet her uncle is gonna have a fun time ribbing her at the next family gathering.

  126. 126.

    Percysowner

     

    Just yesterday, my oldest grandchild counted to 200 on the way home from school. He stopped because once we got home he had better things to do. He turns SIX in 2 weeks. He probably would make a better Speaker of the House than Johnson.

  132. 132.

    p.a.

    Maybe it’s just dumb luck, but our home-grown fascists are just really bad at it.

    As I’ve said before, you can’t expect much from a political party where most of its followers think the earth is 6,000 years old.  That’s not a localized stupidity; that indicates systemic brain dysfunction.

  133. 133.

    Almost Retired

    This is fabulous.  I wonder if Cajun Moses was surprised by four no votes or knew he would lose but felt pressured to move forward anyway?  Either way he looks hapless.

  134. 134.

    lowtechcyclist

    @HeleninEire: ​
     

    Wow. Johnson is gonna go down in history as a Jesus freak…whose God didn’t give a fuck what he wanted.

    Maybe God just wants very different things from what this bozo with delusions of grandeur (Moses!) wants.

  136. 136.

    Suzanne

    I keep thinking that they have to get tired of humiliating themselves in order to please the orange guy at some point. But I’m wrong: they fucken love it! God. Must be a kink.

  137. 137.

    glc

    The Republicans somehow retain the capability of surprising me.  Certain forms of clownishness are expected these days, others less so.

  138. 138.

    scav

    @SiubhanDuinne: Go simple?  Trumps Own Party.

    Go TOP yourself.  (our greetings to them clearly, but given enough infighting, it might go native.)

    They’re certainly only stable when they’re spinning.

  139. 139.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Miss Bianca: ​
     

    I liked what some other Internet wag said about Johnson comparing himself to Moses – something to the effect of, “So, he’ll be leading the Republicans into wandering around in the wilderness for 40 years? Cool, cool.”

    Damn, I’m kicking myself for having not come up with that on my own. How could I have missed that!

  140. 140.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Timill: Reminds me of a legendary exchange at a soiree between an unknown attendee and then Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, whose primary adversary in Commons was the Liberal William Gladstone.

    Disraeli had just proclaimed that a certain action would be worse than a misfortune, it would be a catstrophe. When the attendee inquired as to the difference between the two terms, Disraeli shot back:

    If the Honorable Mr Gladstone were to fall into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. (Pause) But if anyone were then to fish him out, it would be a catastrophe.

     ​

  143. 143.

    Jackie

    Proof that Biden or a trusted staff member reads Balloon-Juice!

    Biden Vows to Make Collapse of Border Bill an Issue!

    “President Biden sought to make the apparent collapse of a border security compromise a major issue in the presidential campaign on Tuesday, saying the bipartisan effort to tackle immigration is on life support because former president Donald Trump wants to weaponize the nation’s immigration quagmire for political gain,” the Washington Post reports.

    Said Biden: “If the bill fails, I’m going to be absolutely sure about something: The American people are going to be aware of why it failed… Every day between now and November the American people are going to know the only reason the border is not secure is Donald Trump and his MAGA Republican friends.”

  146. 146.

    Scout211

    @kindness: @Citizen Alan:

    Wow.  Three of us jackals in McClintock’s district.  I feel for all three of us.  The only positive may be this new behavior of his of pushing back against leadership.  Very unusual. I can’t figure it out what it means yet.

    I vote against him every two years and when the district boundaries change, he always ends up in my district. Ugh.

  151. 151.

    Captain C

    @Uncle Cosmo: Hey, the Mets won 40 games their first year, at a .250 clip.  That’s way better than Johnson or McCarthy have done.

    (The Captain is a die-hard Mets fan and has been since the age of 5.)

  154. 154.

    Steeplejack

    Details on Trump’s proposed RNC takeover:

    Under the plan, two Trump-picked co-chairs would be put in place—one to oversee fundraising and the other to oversee party operations. One of the sources named former RNC Chairman Reince Preibus, former Trump administration official and major GOP donor Linda McMahon and casino magnate Steve Wynn as possibilities to run the fundraising side, while both sources said the operational side is almost certainly to be led by top Trump adviser Chris LaCivita.

  155. 155.

    Quadrillipede

    No Nancy Pelosi? Mike Johnson isn’t even a Kevin McCarthy… 🙄

    (Not sure why my phone’s autocomplete suggested an eyeroll emoji there, but I’ll allow it.)

  158. 158.

    ...now I try to be amused

    @Jackie:

    Biden Vows to Make Collapse of Border Bill an Issue!

    Turning your opponent’s signature issue into a net negative is right out of Karl Rove’s playbook. Attack your opponent’s strengths!

  159. 159.

    Lyrebird

    @Citizen Alan: Maybe his probably mostly Republican constituents with grandparents from Armenia can smell the white supremacist stink of the attacks on Mayorkas all the way over in Cali.

  160. 160.

    Shalimar

    @sab: McCarthy was really bad at counting too despite having been the House Majority Whip previously.  I suspect the problem is that Republicans lie all the time even to each other rather than bad leadership when it comes to whipping votes.

  161. 161.

    wjca

    @Shalimar: I suspect that the core problem was that Johnson carefully scheduled the vote for when he knew Rep (Al!) Greene was having surgery.  But, oops!  Rep Greene managed to show up and vote anyway.  The best laid plans….

  162. 162.

    Ancien Regime

    Fun to dunk on the stupid Republicans and all that, but in fact Johnson correctly counted Republican votes. The vote failed because a Democrat unexpectedly showed up. And it’s probably going to pass when Scalise returns, which is scheduled for some time this month.

    So maybe hold off on the celebration. This vote signaled House Republicans are going to win on this one, something that wasn’t previously clear. Not a win for Dem’s.

  168. 168.

    Paul in KY

    @Alison Rose: That is how it will work! To me, any sane Repub politician who thought they might get some GQP money should be agin this, as they get no money.

  170. 170.

    Paul in KY

    @Elizabelle: I wonder if any financial institutions they deal with might say: ‘No TFG in there. Violates various security agreements you have with us.’

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