Maxwell Edison released a live mourning dove into my bedroom at 7 am this morning. I had to, while stark naked, corral two cats and get them out of the bedroom, open a window and screen, and then throw the pair of boxers I wore yesterday and were on he bedroom floor next to the bed over the bird like a butterfly net. I gingerly picked it up, went to the window, opened my hand and it flew off like I was releasing a carrier pigeon.
Who needs coffee?
Baud
Too pricey anyway. Thanks, Trump.
Sherparick
Good morning Dad, look what I brought you!
japa21
Almost as good as mopping while naked tale.
Nukular Biskits
I need coffee … but I also now need brain bleach.
LOL
different-church-lady
@Nukular Biskits: If you need that after just reading about it, think of how the dove feels!
jackmac
Fortunately, mourning doves aren’t the swiftest (or smartest) birds around. The ones around my house are oblivious to their surroundings, pecking at the ground for some loose seeds. Sometimes they’ll fly away when they finally perceive a threat, but mostly they waddle.
WaterGirl
100x better than bringing you a dead bird!
Plus, you saved a life, a beautiful creature, and it isn’t even noon yet.
I think you have earned the right to go back to bed.
RileysEnabler
Can’t stop laughing at your expense, sorry. What a way to wake up. Glad all of you survived.
Quiltingfool
@different-church-lady:
The dove was not eaten by cats. Scooped up in yesterday’s underpants is no big deal, especially if you can fly away!
kindness
Better a dove than a mouse or rat. Still, the zen of setting a dove free out an open window is a nice lead to the day.
satby
I always need coffee. Finished the rest of yesterday’s pot and moved on to a Grady’s cold brew that I made into a cafe au lait.
Professor Bigfoot
America has two competing ideologies:
”Some are meant to dominate, and some are meant to be dominated; everyone to their proper place.”
”Nobody is free until everybody is free.”
I think, in simplest terms, this is the question of “the soul of the nation.”
rikyrah
Good Morning Everyone 😊 😊 😊
Professor Bigfoot
@rikyrah: Good morning!
AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team
That’s a beautiful image.
May it return to your windowsill clutching the Lost Mustard in its talons as a gesture of gratitude and hope.
Nukular Biskits
I think I’ve shared this story before here:
At my old house, had a pet door going into the garage from the dining room and, during the day, we’d leave the garage door open so the cats could go in/out as they pleased.
One nice spring day while sitting at my desk, I heard the flap open/shut followed immediately by a scream and a cat making that “I CATCHED YOU SOMETHING!!!” call (cat owners know what I’m talking about).
I jumped up, ran into the hall where I found Yang-Yang Dah Stupid (I used to name the animals) proudly displaying a 2-ft long live but injured snake.
Not knowing what kind it was, I threw a bath towel over it, grabbed it, and released it outside. I don’t remember now what kind it was but it wasn’t venomous, thankfully.
WereBear
Why pets add so much to our lives, she said.
H.E.Wolf
Wild critters do seem to arrive in bedrooms at the worst of times. A neighbor of ours had a birthday-suited encounter similar to John’s, with a possum instead of a bird.
Betty Cracker
Kudos for saving that bird!
@satby: I’ve heard good things about Grady’s but haven’t tried it yet.
charluckles
My canine crew caught a rabbit at the dog park this morning. One of them has a killer instinct and a powerful bite. At least it was over quickly.
bjacques
Aw, jeez. Terence Stamp died. He was 87, but still…
The missus and I got to see a recent special anniversary screening of The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert, organised by the Australian Embassy here in Amsterdam. The director was a special guest, as were Aussie drag queens living in the area.
Vale…
Saltburn is really a remake of Pasolini’s Teorema, isn’t it?
Gin & Tonic
@Professor Bigfoot: I suspect your “to be read” list is long, but I recommend this.
Baud
@rikyrah:
Good morning.
oldster
Shocking ingratitude on your part, Cole.
There M. Edison had given you a gift of great value, caught at some personal expense, and you simply discarded it.
I hope he will learn his lesson and never bring you another treasure again.
zhena gogolia
I had the exact same experience, except I got a friend’s husband to come over and he threw a towel over the dove’s head, not his boxers.
Professor Bigfoot
My Yorkies caught a baby squirrel inside the fence once… it was pretty terrible. The screams.
They were under the deck and I just couldn’t get there fast enough. And I couldn’t be really mad at them, it’s what they do.
ANOTHER one came down the tree (I think their mother had been hit by a car a few days earlier) and THAT one I captured and moved to the neighbor’s maple tree that I know is home to lots of squirrels; and hope it got adopted.
Dorothy A. Winsor
That’s a very John Cole story
lowtechcyclist
@rikyrah:
Good morning! 🙂
(It’s still morning, right? [checks clock] Yep, for another whole six minutes! 😀)
Kristine
I needed the laugh, Cole, so thank you.
Sometime during Gaby’s last year, I let her out to do her business. Went to call her back in and found her running back and forth with something in her mouth, her old “I need to bury this and can’t find the right spot” dash. I thought it was an old toy at first, but it turned out to be a small possum. I got Gaby to drop it, and hoped that the still as death pose was an act and not reality as Gaby also had a very strong prey drive. Big sigh when I saw the critter twitch. When I checked a few minutes later, it had vamoosed.
WereBear
@Dorothy A. Winsor: I’m glad he skipped a bizarre injury.
Elizabelle
I like mourning doves. Glad this one survived its encounter with Chez Cole and Pets.
Time Travelin
A raccoon peed on my head once. Raccoon pee is nasty and tough to get out of one’s hair.
kindness
Imagine John’s neighbors point of view. They hear a thrashing around and see a naked John Cole toss out his window screen and then see him lean out his window and start waving around a pair of boxer shorts.
John’s lucky no one called the cops on him.
Chief Oshkosh
@kindness: Actually, John’s narrative lacks a bit of detail. Didn’t the bird fly off wearing the shorts?
comrade scotts agenda of rage
@kindness:
Naaah, they’re probably used to that behavior by now. :P
Jackie
@oldster:
John, check your shoes before putting on and your bed before bedtime… Maxwell may repay your ingratitude by peeing or pooping in them.
indycat32
I think I have you beat. Last night, somehow, a bat got in my house. It ended up in the bathroom, so I closed the door. . This morning I watched the how to catch a bat video, went to Meijer and bought heavy duty gloves, suited up, went into my teeny tiny bathroom and CAN’T FIND THE BAT. A drawer in my linen closet was partially open. Is he hiding in there? Do I dare remove items to find out? Do I wait until night and see if he reappears?
VeniceRiley
@rikyrah: Good morning. I mostly lurk since I’m out of time sync, but I do very much appreciate your comments when I see them. Just thought I’d let you know 🤗
Elizabelle
@kindness: It’s the Second Coming of Ozzy! He is alive
And learned to behave better around doves.
trollhattan
Before getting a bird dog, mourning doves would nest outside our bedroom and I loved the natural soundscape they provide.
That was then. Evidently all that pointing unnerves them because now they never complete any nest they begin. Ah well.
trollhattan
@indycat32:
Practice this line: “I bid you, velcome.”
Mucho luck on the bat search. I have zero useful ideas. They’ve excellent concealers.
Hilfy
@different-church-lady: Wonderful comment! From a genuinely thoughtful person!
John Sterling
I’m waiting for the part where you fell out the window and broke three bones.
Ksmiami
@indycat32: put out a piece of fruit- it’ll be drawn to it
Sure Lurkalot
Thursday afternoon, one of “my” (six) squirrels was on the losing end of a circle of life demonstration with a large red tailed hawk.
Apparently, it started by a small bird bath so I feel complicit.
Deputinize America
@Time Travelin:
(spit-take)
OK, spill the tea on this story – you can’t just throw that out there without elaboration.
trollhattan
@Sure Lurkalot:
Rough.
On the upside there will be more squirrels.
Eyeroller
@indycat32: Ugh, this is really difficult.
The usual advice is NOT to try to catch them unless you are a professional. If you leave a window open at dusk they will usually find their way out. They can sense the outdoor air.
But now you have had the bat overnight, you don’t know where it is or has been, and you would be advised to consider rabies shots. It is very, very, *very* rare for a bat able to fly to carry rabies, but it happens and given the prognosis, it is something to keep in mind. Bat bites usually barely break the skin, just enough to transmit but not enough to be easily noticed.
All North American bats are microchiroptera and nearly all eat only insects. A few desert dwellers eat fruit, pollen and nectar. So unless you are in Arizona or such, there really isn’t anything you can use to attract them unless you have a lot of mosquitos in your house.
Deputinize America
@indycat32:
I had a bat infestation in an exterior wall once. Little fuckers are noisy, but fairly easy to deal with.
The snakeskin the attic, on the other hand, were difficult.
H.E.Wolf
@AJ of the Mustard Search and Rescue Team:
Awwww. That’s perfect.
trollhattan
WSJ decides Vlad’s “heads I win/tails you lose” position is theirs as well.
Thanks, Donny and Rupert.
cain
@kindness:
My 4 cats found a mouse. For two days, two of them were gathered around the closet door downstairs and I couldn’t figure out why they were there. I would yell at them, “what the hell are you people doing here? Why are you here?!”
Turns out, some little mouse had come in via the garage and I think one of them picked them up and have been playing with it for two days. I managed to get little critter away after it was carried upstairs for more play.
Poor baby was stuck for two days attacked by cats and likely not eaten. I got it outside but then I don’t think it figured out how to get down.. I had my son feed it so that at least it could get some food. Hopefully, it made it way down somehow (it was gone later in the day) and managed to get back to the wilderness area across the way.
cain
@Nukular Biskits: lol, my very first cat was afraid of snakes. Literally found one in the grass and leaped two feet in the air and ran away. (It was a cute garden snake)
cain
@bjacques: I will always remember him in Superman 2 as General Zod. “Son of Jor-EL, KNEEL before ZOD!”
Eyeroller
I’ve saved critters from cats in the past (always neighbor cats, mine have always been strictly indoors) but I learned in the past few years that if they are bitten, they will likely die anyway from infection. Cats’ mouths contain a lot of bacteria. For the same reason if a human is bitten by a cat a visit should be made to the doctor or even the emergency department. People have lost fingers and even limbs to cat bites.
I don’t think dog bites are as bad but am less informed about that. Still can become infected. Even human bites can result in a nasty infection.
If they’re just mouthed (which isn’t too uncommon, especially for “hunters” who are mainly playing) then they’ll be OK when released.
stinger
Your life is nothing but one adventure after another, John Cole. I feel so boring in comparison.
Deputinize America
@indycat32:
I had a bat infestation in an exterior wall once. Little fuckers are noisy, but fairly easy to deal with.
The snakeskin the attic, on the other hand, were difficult.
zhena gogolia
@trollhattan: And “I never drink . . . vine.”
Eyeroller
@trollhattan: I’ll assume this is one of their batshit opinion columnists.
We know that there is no reason, none, to believe that Russia would honor any such “agreement” when it blatantly violated treaties already in 2014 and 2022. Or any reason to believe that they wouldn’t then want more “Lebensraum” in the form of the Baltics and possibly part or all of Poland. I will not speculate why any supposedly informed opinion columnist might believe Russia can be trusted.
JoyceH
@Eyeroller: Not to mention the fact that Putin’s demand is that Ukraine just cede and abandon their heavily fortified front line and retreat back to their unprotected heartland, making them sitting ducks for Russia’s next invasion, which you know will happen within a year or two.
Fortunately, Zelenskyy’s got the band back together and he’s bringing them with him to Washington. Will Trump be able to keep from acting like a petulant brat?
They’re landing at Andrews. Will Trump be there to welcome them? Will there be a red carpet?
indycat32
@Eyeroller: I tried opening the door last night, when I thought it was a bird. Even turned on the porch light to lure him outside. Does not work with bats. Also one of the outdoor cats saw the open door and considered it an invitation to enter.
Melancholy Jaques
@trollhattan:
Sure, because having beaten & bullied the world into allowing Putin to take a large chunk of Ukraine, he’d be sure not to want to take any more.
It’s like they’re nostalgic for the Cold War.
Suburban Mom
@Eyeroller: Yup, the medical protocol now is to start antibiotics after a cat bite, even if the biter is your own slightly surly indoor pet. (Guess how I know that.)
trollhattan
@zhena gogolia:
:-) 🧛🏻♀️🦇
Jackie
@Eyeroller: I lucked out one time when our mama cat brought a bird in the house to probably teach her kittens to hunt. I grabbed her with bird in her mouth, raced outside and managed to pry her mouth open. The bird flew out and away! I received reproachful glares the rest of the day.
trollhattan
Big “you have to sleep sometime” vibes.
Eyeroller
@indycat32: Yeah you can’t just leave doors open even if you don’t have pets. Bats do not necessarily depart while you are watching them, or if they know you are around, or at a time that is convenient for you, which is why the window would be the only option if it’s available.
At this point maybe find a professional?
columbusqueen
Ah, the adventures at Casa Cole. Better than any soap opera.
My favorite story about Stamp was told by Michael Caine. The two shared a London flat in the early ’60, & a rival actor who disliked them started the rumor that they were lovers. Soon after said rumor reached them, Caine comes home & finds Stamp grinning like a cat at the cream.
“What’s up, Terry?”
“You know that bastard who said we were poofters?”
“Yeah, what about him?’
‘I just fucked his girlfriend,”
Priceless.
Eyeroller
@Suburban Mom: I got a deep bite once from a panicked cat in his carrier (I was trying to calm him). After a few days I looked at and thought, “Oh, hey, that looks infected.” Didn’t go to a doctor. Put oodles of antibiotic ointment on it. Infection got worse and just a little streaky. Still didn’t go to the doctor but kept up the ointment. Then it went down. I’ve gotten another few bites since then and use the ointment and I’m taking a risk, but I watch very carefully for streaks. Still have all my fingers. I don’t recommend others be so foolhardy.
WTFGhost
Wow, all that excitement, and you’re making coffee for all of us to boot? Thanks I’ll have the largest mug you have that’s 34 oz or smaller, sugar, and you stay too polite to mention me dumping an espresso con panna into it.
Citizen Alan
@trollhattan: evevery single person who works at the WSJ would have been pro nazi in 1933 and fought for the Redcoats in 1776.
Anna
@indycat32: Butterfly nets work great for catching bats. Also pillow cases or even brown paper bags from the grocery store (this method involves a tennis racquet). Or a sheet.
We have an old summer cottage on the coast of Maine and we get bats every year. And every year there’s great excitement until the bat is caught and let outside. Decades of catching bats and no bites yet. (They’re easy to catch.)
Another Scott
Meanwhile, something something AI, Robot, Save the (white) Babies, Technology Controlled by Companies is Always the Answer something something.
NotebookCheck.net:
Somehow the solutions to real problems people have rarely involve making sure they have enough money and resources, but usually involve making sure companies can do whatever they want. It’s a continuing mystery…
:-/
Best wishes,
Scott.
Baud
@Another Scott:
Why do you need a whole robot for that?
Eyeroller
@Anna: I wouldn’t get close enough to use a bag but a large net is probably a great tool for that purpose. I also assume they are easier to catch when sleeping during the day and you can surprise them.
I’m a bat advocate and I also believe that the risk is very, very, very tiny, but we’ve had deaths every now and then from bat bites just in my state. So it’s important to keep track of the bat and be careful when removing it.
But it seems the highest human rabies rate is in India due to a large population of stray dogs. In most of the US raccoons, skunks, and foxes are the main risks but they rarely get into houses. Opossums’ body temperature is a bit too low to maintain the virus, and also smaller animals rarely survive an attack from a rabid carnivore anyway, so we don’t have many other carriers.
Eyeroller
@Another Scott: This is insane. People have talked about artificial wombs and they’ve been in crappy science fiction, which apparently is what too many people of a certain age thinks is predictive, for quite a while, but there is a lot more to it than nutrients and artificial amniotic fluid. It took millions of years for placental mammals to evolve and there is likely a whole lot of interactions we still don’t understand.
But everything has to be a robot and AI now.
Indycat32
@Eyeroller: I’ll contact DNR tomorrow. I can just picture it — there’s a bat in my tiny bathroom and I can’t find it.
mr perfect
@trollhattan: Well of course. After all Rupert and Vlad were into wife swapping.
Anna
@Eyeroller: “I wouldn’t get close enough to use a bag but a large net is probably a great tool for that purpose. I also assume they are easier to catch when sleeping during the day and you can surprise them.”
A net works great. But the mesh has to be fairly fine, otherwise they’ll escape, which we learned the hard way and is the reason why we always have a butterfly net handy. And during the day is definitely the easiest time to catch them.
I probably am too cavalier about catching bats. It’s been a summer ritual since I was a kid. We’ve had bats in toilets, garbage cans, cabinets etc. We’ve gotten them out of some mighty odd places. The scratching noise a bat makes when it’s trapped in a garbage can at night is haunting.
Kayla Rudbek
@Eyeroller: hey! Uterine replicators have been in good science fiction too (Brave New World in the 1930s then Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series in the 1990s). Now Bujold grew up as a white mainline Protestant Boomer in Ohio, so I don’t think she quite explored all the various aspects of how people would react to the technology, although she gets fairly close with the Cetagandans and the Jacksonians being exploitative. As a Catholic Yankee married to a Southerner and having lived in Northern Virginia for over a decade, I can think of more aspects to how people would react, and I’m sure that the Black, Asian, and Indigenous SF fans here can think of a lot more that I wouldn’t realize were issues.
And I’m sure that I could get recommendations from the Black, Indigenous, and Asian SF fans here and on Bluesky for more good SF with uterine replicators/artificial wombs than is even on my radar.
ETA: Bujold had the uterine replicators in about the 30th century, so about 1000 years from now, which I think is about the correct timeframe to actually get it to work.
CaseyL
@indycat32:
I had a bat fly into my house many years ago, and here is what worked to get it out:
1. Find bat (this may be more of a challenge than it was for me, as bat very considerately flew into the spare bedroom upstairs)
2. Hopefully bat is hanging from something it can gently be separated from.
3. Turn on light in that room/area: the bat will go to sleep.
4. Get cardboard roll from paper towel roll
5. Wad up newspaper and stuff into one end of the cardboard roll
6. Hold cardboard roll, open end up, under bat.
7. With wooden spatula (or similar object) very gently detach bat’s claws/feet from where it is hanging so that it falls into the cardboard roll. The wadded newspaper at the other end will cushion its fall
8. Take cardboard tube outside, and turn upside down so open end is pointing at the ground.
9. Bat will slide out and fly away
That worked for me, anyway! Hope it works for you!
Another Scott
@Eyeroller: Yup.
Since these MotUs that want to make all of humanity use their “AI” and “robots” never took humanities like History, they seem determined to repeat past mistakes.
ContemporaryPediatrics.com – A concise history of infant formula (twists and turns included):
That’s just Science!
That’s just Science, too!!
Thalidomide, also too.
Something something every safety and health rule is written in blood something something.
Human biology is really, really complicated – especially concerning the rapid development of fetuses and infants. People who want to replace it with pills and proprietary beverages and machines really, really need to show their work and invite outside experts to check their work.
Thanks.
Best wishes,
Scott.
comrade scotts agenda of rage
@Citizen Alan:
“Hitler I feel speaks for me like no one has, why just a few years ago a Jewish clerk was rude to me at a bakery,” said Josef Botterbusch, a German textile worker, as he stared pensively out the window of a Hamburg eatery.
– NYT in 1937, probably.
Also too, it would be parroted in a very cheery-voiced report on Totebagger Radio.