Two thoughts to share: the other day Joelle got some popcorn flavored jelly belly jellybeans, and I had resisted trying them on principle but I walked by earlier and they were just sitting there so I threw a handful in my mouth and the only way I can describe how I feel about it is the last time I felt like this about something was when I was 12- 13 and saw Harold and Maude lying in bed naked or when I watched the Caligula movie a year or two later.
The second is that trying to open those vacuum sealed individually wrapped string cheese packages is one of the most maddening damned things I have ever done and you can’t just cut across the top and squeeze it out from the bottom there’s no fucking way that is working that’s like trying to get a fat person out of a wetsuit (don’t ask) and I have yet to open one without blaspheming a god I don’t even believe in at least once.
But I gotta get this dog to like me so here we are handfeeding strips of string cheese without making direct eye contact and not moving fast while keeping Thurston at bay.
War for Ukraine Day 1,465: A Brief Saturday Night Update
Martin
I’ve never been a huge fan of artificial flavors, but I find them more and more unpleasant as I get older – particularly sweet ones. Artificial banana was always my biggest ick.
Love that you’re befuddled by a food intended to be opened by a 6 year old.
MisterForkbeard
@Martin: I weirdly like artificial banana, but sort of the same way I like twizzlers – they taste so completely unlike anything natural or normal in this world that I’m kinda into it for the first six bites until my taste buds catch up with me.
West of the Rockies
The things we do for (pet) love…
Like walking in the rain and the snow when there’s nowhere to go…
West of the Rockies
@MisterForkbeard:
Can’t believe I’m publicly asking this, but have you ever encountered banana flavored marshmallow circus peanuts? Oddly delicious…
Sometimes I want to shun myself.
Chetan R Murthy
Hooray for New Math
New-hoo-hoo Math
It won’t do you a bit of good to review Math
It’s so simple
So very simple
That only a child can do it!
Omnes Omnibus
@West of the Rockies: I refuse to accept that such things exist.
Benno
@West of the Rockies: Agreed! Your courage to admit this has given me the courage to never admit this to anyone else ever again.
Trollhattan
Miss curling. Meanwhile, shout out to Betty C on her Gator hoops squad. Holy hell they’re good and for bonus points, a goddamn 7’9″ Canadian.
We live in the most peculiar of times.
Parfigliano
Give up on peeling apart the string cheese top to open. Bite down towards the middle side of the package right next to the cheese and pull cheese down. Much easier.
danielx
Have you tried to open one of those coin-type batteries lately?
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
Packaging is my kryptonite. So. Not. Kidding. I am so packaged challenged that I can screw up opening a letter if I’m not careful or don’t pay attention.🙄 Yes, it’s ridiculous, but what are you going to do?
Ohio Mom
Cole, try a different brand of cheese sticks, they might be easier to open.
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
PS My local convenience store is loaded with artificially flavoured nuts! Like, the actual taste of real nuts isn’t good enough? I can’t find a package of plain roasted cashews to save my life. The jokes write themselves.
John Cole
@Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom: I brute force everything and if that does not work I use the first sharp thing I find and it literally does not matter knife razor scissors whatever i get my hands on
kalakal
@West of the Rockies: There are things for which the world is not yet ready
Chetan R Murthy
@Ohio Mom: I kinda wondered: does Bolo have preferences in cheese? Maybe American cheese (individually-wrapped singles!) might be just as good? And then there’s also string cheese that isn’t individually-wrapped ? Or maybe just get the mozzarella bricks and slice ’em up into sticks? When I buy mozz, I buy the brick, shred with a food processor, and freeze the shredded cheese for later use. You could do the same with sticks, freeze ’em on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper ?
Then unfreeze enough for a couple days at a time in the fridge ?
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
This is me with Slim Jims sometimes. It’s so frustrating when the plastic front won’t peel cleanly so that you can open the packaging to peel both sides down and apart
CaseyL
I am impressed by the work you’re putting in to get the dog to stop treating you like the most unwelcome guest ever, and hope very much that it works. That has to be frustrating, since you’re just about the softest touch in three states when it comes to animals. If only the dog realized how much you’ll spoil him, given half a chance.
Best of luck!
different-church-lady
Well, you got us to like you, so I can’t imagine the dog is going to be harder than that.
Prometheus Shrugged
Embarassed to say that the Costco milk seal is pretty much impossible for me to open at this point without a sharp knife. As I say to my son, it’s sad, because I used to have the strength of 10 men in my thumb and forefingers.
MisterForkbeard
@West of the Rockies: I haven’t, but now I feel like I have to and am searching the interwebs
Jackie
@Parfigliano:
I don’t buy string cheese. But my daughter does. When I decide to have one, I just cut the damn wrapper off top to bottom, then try to pull strings of cheese. It NEVER works. I start off with a few strings at the top and end up with a fat clump dangling at the bottom. I’ve never been given proper instructions. Is there actual instructions on how to tear string cheese into actual strings?
Soprano2
As I get older I find myself using scissors to open packages more and more. Why not do it the easy way?
sab
We rescued our neighbors’ dog when they moved to an apartment. They were going to send him to the pound but he was a black dog and black dogs don’t get adopted because they are not photogenic.
I had been friends with him since he was a puppy. They tied him out a lot and I used to sneak him dog biscuits. My husband had ignored him.
First day with us my husband jumped into the middle of a dog spat and got bitten by the new dog. (I had told him not to get involved.)
By the end of the month husband and dog had worked it out. Moving to a new home after being abandoned by his old family had been a trauma for the dog.
We had him for the rest of his life and loved him a lot. He became my husband’s little buddy.
Jackie
@Soprano2:
I give you a thumbs up! Scissors are the absolute best kitchen appliance!
Kayla Rudbek
@Jackie: make a slight incision in one end with your fingernail and then peel downward from that incision, and you will get a sheet or strip of cheese to peel off.
This thread is bringing back memories of eating string cheese as a kid and having Mister Dairy Junkie the cat letting me know in full Siamese voice that he wanted cheese as well. So it would be “peel string for me, peel one for the cat” over and over again until all the cheese was gone. And if I was reading a paperback while doing this, particularly one with a slick shiny cover, he would start licking the book cover to get any remaining cheese that might have transferred over.
Sister Golden Bear
@John Cole: Just slather yourself in peanut butter instead.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
OT: Probably not the best thread/time to ask, but were there any more updates on an Ohio meetup? Last May’s was a lot of fun
kindness
How many gummies did you eat John?
sab
@Soprano2: I used to play guitar and that made my fingers strong. Then I stopped ( 25 years ago) and hand strength has down hill ever since.
sab
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Not that I have heard, but we need to work on that. So you are interested? I thought you would be.
Tim in SF
Hey JC, in my experience, hot dogs make better training high-value treats than cheese. You can cut a single hot dog into at least 100 treats, enough for one or two training sessions (assuming you give a couple treats each time and ten or more treats at breakthrough moments).
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Hey GI, remember why you’re fighting
SpaceUnit
Popcorn flavored jelly beans doesn’t compute.
Why wouldn’t you just make some actual popcorn? I don’t understand anything anymore.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@sab:
I am. I thought I saw columbusqueen mentioning the possibility of another meetup this year on a thread in the last week or so. Didn’t know if anything became of it or not
sab
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Why not both?
West of the Rockies
@MisterForkbeard:
There’s a gas station on the outskirts of Lodi that usually has ’em. Probably a five and dime in Oklahoma would be another likely source. Just in case the intertubes fail.
Jay
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
bsky.app/profile/leyawn.bsky.social/post/3mfxlt67fyk2p
Trivia Man
@danielx: try using a can opener on the package
Trivia Man
@Prometheus Shrugged: Costco peaches in a glass jar. I have what i consider a very firm grip, but those are a struggle every time. We have a grippy thing but even with that plus the table knife tap trick it’s difficult.
Chetan R Murthy
@Trivia Man: I’ve read that all of us in Western society have weaker grip-strength than even the dilettante rich of the 19th century. It’s a symptom of the decline in the necessity of manual labor, and the rise of machine assistance, at all ranks of society. [certainly not a genetic change, not with these time-scales]
I choose to believe it’s also a sign of the greater importance of fine manipulation skills over brute force. Instead of the ability to grip, the skills of quick typing are more valuable today, and more generally the use of hands/fingers as communication interfaces means that small muscles and fine control over small muscles is more important, b/c small muscles and fine movements can have a higher bit-rate than large muscles and brute force movements.
But it’s just a hypothesis.
Trivia Man
@SpaceUnit: it’s been a while but i vaguely recall the fun in mixing flavors. Popcorn + apple or butterscotch + blueberry.
In theory i also like the idea of ANY flavor mixes. Could be butterscotch or maybe ear wax. Watermelon or mold? Bite it and see!
Jay
bsky.app/profile/ndrew.bsky.social/post/3mfwgadbwuk2v
Jay
@Trivia Man:
Jelly Belly used to sell mixed flavour packs.
Never got that.
I always bought Jelly Bellies in bulk, in my favorite flavours, usually cherry or tangerine.
BigJimSlade
@Martin: I’ve heard the artificial banana flavor is based on the banana that’s now just about extinct – it had a stronger flavor, which to us now, tastes a bit exaggerated.
MattF
Speaking of packaging nightmares. In the gelato/ice cream world, pints of Talenti are notorious for being impossible to open. The lids cannot be unscrewed. So, you’ve got a container of their amazing Double Dark Chocolate in your hand and you can’t open it. Reddit r/icecream has pictures of Talenti pints with the lids literally sawn off. For me, waiting ten minutes, then using an opener hand tool at maximum torque for a minute works. Talenti is aware of the problem and claims they are ‘working on it’ but they are lying.
eclare
@Trivia Man:
I raise you Talenti Gelato. I have had to let that melt several times to twist the lid off. It freezes back, the texture isn’t the same but the taste is still good.
And MattF beat me to it!
Jay
BTW, I had my first eye exam today.
I had been using off the shelf reading glasses for the last 6 years.
I have the start of a cataract in my left eye, and scratches on the fibrinous tunic. The scratches come from dirt, dust, solvents and other chemicals at work.
I need to now to regularly clean the outer surface, (eye lids and upper face) with a very soft cloth, soap and water, at work, several times a day, and use eye drops, to prevent further damage.
I also got 2 prescription reading glasses, high quality, and a pair of safety glasses for work.
Between work insurance and the PHA, the cost of the eye exam was $18 CDN.
The cost of all three pairs of prescription glasses was $84 CDN.
BigJimSlade
@Trivia Man: The wide-mouthed, plastic jars of sauerkraut from Trader Joe’s are darned hard to open. The main part of the jar dents in from being held in the opposite hand before the lid starts to give way.
Queen of Lurkers
@MattF: Put a rubber band around the lid and then try to twist. Usually works for me, and I have little grip strength.
Trivia Man
@Jay: my grocery store sells them in bulk. About 30 flavors, sold by the pound so you can curate your own mix. Im cutting way back on sweets but i like the mixes. Every bite an adventure. And it encourages 1 or 2 or 3 at a time to savor.
MattF
@Jay: I had that in both eyes. Corneas were scraped, then, a year later, cataract surgery in both eyes. Vision gets much worse after the first round, but is correctable, then, after cataract surgery, gets fine but with no accommodation after the second round. Very much worth it,
MattF
@Queen of Lurkers: I’ll try that.
Jay
@Queen of Lurkers:
@MattF:
In the drawer with the cooking knives, ladles, can openers, wisks, etc, we have rounds cut from the grid materiel they make to stop throw carpets going “walkabout”.
We use two at a time, one on the lid, one on the bottom of the jar.
Jars are defenseless against this technology.
Martin
@MisterForkbeard: Artificial banana actually tastes more like banana. At least, it tastes quite a bit like the Gros Michael banana that was the dominant species until the 1950s when it got wiped out by disease brought on by industrial farming. What we eat now is the Cavendish banana and it tastes quite a bit different.
You can still get Gros Michaels but they’re hard to find and fairly expensive – fancy bakers.
I don’t know if I’d like artificial banana better if I’d ever had a chance to eat a Gros Michael. Probably.
[oop, missed BigJimSlades comment at 45. Sorry about that]
prostratedragon
Individually-wrapped American cheese slices. That is all.
Jay
@Trivia Man:
They are a rare treat for me, so I just stick to a small bag of my favorites.
Age has kinda had an impact, settling in on favorites. Wurthers, Fruit and Nut Bars, Lindt Sea Salt and Dark Chocolate, Purdy’s Sweet Georgia Browns, (basicallty a 3x “Turtle” with pecans, dark chocolate and a better toffee).
A big treat, used to be their candied orange slices covered in dark chocolate, but they made them with Seville Oranges, which climate change has kinda destroyed.
NotMax
So out of touch with trends I had to look up what string cheese is.
John Revolta
@Martin: The Cavendish banana may also be on the way out. It’s being threatened by the same plant disease (‘Panama disease’) that nearly took out the Gros Michel. They’re working to try and come up with a resistant variety but they’re not having much luck so far…………….ain’t the 21st Century a big fucking thrill ride?
NotMax
Doggy dining: beef or cheese.
:)
eclare
@NotMax:
I have heard of it but never tried it. I just get a small block of Swiss every few months.
NotMax
The packages of sliced Muenster cheese I buy at Costco claim they are resealable.
In a pig’s eye.
;)
Jay
@eclare:
In the US, “string cheese” dates back to 1976.
It’s a process of cheese making that allows the proteins to be aligned in a row, rather than across, and can be peeled off as strings.
In Mexico, “string cheese” dates back to 1885, and is a popular addition to “street food”.
In the Middle East, Italy, Greece, Eastern Europe, it dates back to the 12th Century.
Jay
@NotMax:
For lunch sandwiches, (ham, old cheddar, 1″ of spinach, mustard on buttered whole wheat bread, always the same thing), I get Balderson’s aged white cheddar in slices in a resealable package.
There is some kind of mild adhesive on the plastic film and the semi rigid plastic container.
It is re-sealable, but,…………….
You have to have cracked it open just enough to get a single slice out,
You have to reseal it by running the edges between two fingers, starting at the bottom where you haven’t broken the seal,
And you have to ensure that there are no kinks, that everything is perfectly aligned, or you end up with a block of dried cheese, very quickly.
After mastering the technique for resealing after many, many failures, now after opening, I just toss the entire package in a ZipLock, suck the air out, seal the ZipLock and toss it back into the fridge.
I am too old for that shit.
eclare
@Jay:
Wow. Interesting. I’ll have to give it a try.
Chetan R Murthy
@Jay: i buy sliced deli meat from Whole Foods. They put it in the Ziploc bags with a sliding zipper. I wash the bags in and out, Spray them with a dilute bleach solution let them dry, And then reuse them to store all sorts of things. Including, just as you say, Cheese bread whatever.
Jay
@Chetan R Murthy:
We buy our ZipLocks, from extra large for packing clothes for travel, to much smaller. Suck the air out, and,….
We get about 25 uses out of each bag, washing and drying between each use.
Except for tomato sauce based uses. The combo of the tomato acids and olive oils, make them also impossible to clean fully.
We use the “freezer ones” better seals, slightly thicker plastic.
eclare
@Jay:
So how does cheese string melt? That is mainly how I eat cheese, Swiss melted on Triscuits.
SectionH
Bother, it’s a later than my simple arithmetic time zone conversions go (usually ok but not tonight), so this is way late. I’m gonna post it anyway:
@Trivia Man: try holding the top of the glass jar sideways under water as hot as you can get it from your sink (I don’t mean boiling or anything) for a while. Dry it off, try opening it again. If it still doesn’t come off, give it another minute or so under the water. That still works for me, even with my seriously arthritic hands.
My other kitchen hint re opening plastic on plastic containers like quarts of milk is pliers. They can also help with other kinds of narrow-necked bottles that you don’t want to run hot over (Fizzy white wine, for instance.) It helps if you have pliers in different sizes…
I have my own pet peeves about current crapass packaging, but my general rule is either a sharp knife or scissors. Again: of all sizes.
eta: yay? not dead yet, this thread
MagdaInBlack
Question: Does anyone else follow “Pharyngula” P.Z. Myers blog ? I have not been able to access it for days now.
eclare
@MagdaInBlack:
Never heard of it. Sorry.
Jay
@eclare:
Like regular cheese. The heat rearranges the proteins.
In the US, and Canada, “string cheese” is mostly a gimmick to get kids to play with their food. It’s mostly mozza, sometimes mixed with an industrial cheddar.
In other places, where the process is much older, the string making process allows the cheese to take in herbs and other seasonings, with out “cooking” the seasonings or “infusing” the cheese.
And that’s about it.
Jay
@MagdaInBlack:
try this link
freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/
Todays post, previous post was 8 days ago.
eclare
@Jay:
Thank you! I will stick with my simple blocks of Swiss. Love some alliteration.
MagdaInBlack
@Jay: Thank you !
( he had some health issues going on and then he vanished and so…ya know, I worried)
eta: I see he explained the absence.
Odie Hugh Manatee
It took me a year to convince a feral cat I had taken in that was part of a cat hoarder’s bunch of over 120 cats that was seized that I was a good guy. Talk about exciting… she had the runs and literally lost her shit regularly. She even bit through a welding glove and buried a fang in the knuckle of my right thumb. While shitting all over the place and me.
Patience won and after about a year that little girl (4.5 lbs) was the sweetest and fiercest cat I ever had. She never backed down from a dog on ‘her property’. Never. She just squatted, pissed on the ground while uttering a primordial growl, stood her ground and dared the dog to do something. A Rotty didn’t even want to tangle with her. She was my little girl, spending many evenings in my lap while I read and posted here and there. I always felt like I had nitroglycerin in my lap but she never ‘went off’. I could call her and she would appear in a moment as she was always close by, even outdoors.
I still miss that little girl. She was a Manx, stub tail and looked like a tiny bobcat.
Be patient, John. Good things take time and you don’t know what that dog has experienced with men in the past. Just be consistent, calm and let him learn who you are. It just takes time and patient love.
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
@John Cole: I have 5 pairs of scissors in my small apartment. Plus a letter opener. If you know, you know.
MagdaInBlack
@eclare: 25 with some clouds, stars peeking thru, a wee bit chilly to be very long on the balcony, but very pretty out
Friday evening was low 60’s and just lovely.
Yer balcony report =-)
Pete Downunder
The ultimate irony in packaging I came across a few years ago. A pair of scissors specifically designed to cut through that tough clear plastic that so many things come in, was packed, of course, in that tough clear plastic that you needed those very scissors to open.
Jay
@MattF:
Right now, I just have to put “get an eye exam” on the old peoples schedule in early 2028, to monitor the growth of the cataract, and after September, this year, the $99 dollar eye exam, that cost me less than $20 due to MSP and Company Health Insurance, is free, because I will be over 65 and the Province will pick up all costs.
p.a.
@MagdaInBlack: Have not checked in there in a while.
Fred Clark of Slacktivist hasn’t posted since 1/29. Comments on his last post are up over 2k, and not mentioning him at all for good or ill. I scanned down quite a way and, nothing. I couldn’t get on to ask: “discus” comment access, and I forgot all of the multiple passwords of the various entry points.
MagdaInBlack
@p.a.: Happy to report P.Z. is back. Pharyngula is a regular read for me.
Good Morning
Betty Cracker
@Trollhattan: I don’t follow the round ball too closely, but even I know you’re right — holy hell, that squad is good! My bro says Ollie needs to learn skills other than being super tall, but you can’t teach tall. :-)
Baud
Baud
Betty Cracker
@Baud: From the Variety link:
Womp womp.
Professor Bigfoot
@Omnes Omnibus: May the gods forgive me, but I recently re-discovered Pringles (they were on sale at my local supermarket, I got a can, sat down and ate the whole damn thing, went back and got all the flavors).
Each one I tried I liked more than the last ‘til I tried the “Sharp Cheddar.”
I’m off Pringles now for a good long while.
eclare
@MagdaInBlack:
I love balcony reports! I just have a porch.
Tony Jay
@Betty Cracker:
Fake ratings. Iranian disinformation op. Justification for Operation Lash Out? Many people are saying so.
Professor Bigfoot
@John Cole: I have a weird thing about “use the right tool for the job!” which is why my kitchen is stuffed to the gills (to mangle multiple metaphors).
Mrs. B, on the other hand, is very much like you- she does not give a SHIT if it’s the correct tool or not if it will get the job done.
(fortunately for me she’s afraid of my chef’s knives despite me telling her that a really sharp knife is safer! But unfortunately for me I’ve watched too many cooking competitions and the chefs will use their BEAUTIFUL WELL HONED chef knives on ANY DAMN THING. “We don’t need on steenkeen cutting boards!”
Professor Bigfoot
@CaseyL: Doggos ain’t really that dumb.
I would bet real money that by this time next year Bolo is gonna be all over that guy once he figures out what a softie JG is.
May that day come sooner!
Professor Bigfoot
@Baud: “I spend a lot of time in mostly white spaces…”
This is true for most of us… and we get used to being ignored, shouted down, and disrespected in those spaces.
But there is no country without us.
eclare
@Professor Bigfoot:
And oh wow, his mama has ALS?
Baud
@Professor Bigfoot:
Nancy
@MagdaInBlack:
I tried it just now and it is back with an interesting explanation for the absence. Of course someone else has already explained this.
Professor Bigfoot
😉
See, this is why y’all will never get rid of me. 😂🥰
Baud
@Professor Bigfoot:
Nice.
Frances
@MagdaInBlack: They came back yesterday
Frances
@p.a.: Fred’s back today
prostratedragon
@Trivia Man: Often a table knife doesn’t whack well enough to break the vacuum. My choice is the edge of a heavy duty manual can opener such as oxo or kitchenaid. Tap firmly along the edge of the lid several times, at an angle in the direction it should open — usually cclockwise — working around the lid.
Traveller
@danielx: I was just so pasively reviewing these comments and…bango! wam…you got me, there ain’t nothing made by man or devil more difficult to open that a Duracell Coin sized battery…pliers, knives, razors…all fail, or threaten to do serious harm to yourself…Daniel, you nailed it when you complained about this!!!! Best Wishes, Traveller
Eolirin
@BigJimSlade: This is not accurate. It’s based on the chemical banana peels release. The older banana released more of that chemical, so it really tastes like that banana smells.
Scout211
Late to this discussion. Many years ago, I bought a Black and Decker Lids Off electric jar opener. I still have it and it works beautifully. They were expensive and eventually they stop making them but they are often resold on eBay and other resale sites.
You place the jar in the machine, close the top and then press the button. The jar spins slowly and when you hear that pop, it’s done. No gadgets on top, no wrist strength needed. It works with most jars as it expands in width and height. I can open a Costco tall jar of 4-bean salad easily.
Here’s an eBay listing that shows the opener. The original cost was about $130 probably 30 years ago. (Posted to show a pic of the opener, not to promote the seller)
I don’t know why they stopped producing them, because this thing really works.
If you find one at a yard sale, buy it.
evodevo
@John Cole:
I have been known to use two pairs of pliers on those string cheese wraps LOL – I agree with you totally…
Ramalama
@Chetan R Murthy:
Random: does it bother you when procedural tv shows (streaming) lay out the word “theory” when they really mean “crapshoot”?
I spend too much time mentally swapping out theory for hypothesis, but then stop myself and then start myself, causing quite a fight within myself. I don’t watch these shows, but my spouse does, and I work from home.
Ramalama
@BigJimSlade: I love exaggerated banana fake flavor in taffy. Maybe the candy makers should adopt a new name and call it BanaGERATE.
emjayay
@Chetan R Murthy: Even typing used to require strength and range of motion. When I learned there were still many manual typewriters around but fortunately I had a summer job in an army office when I was in college. They asked if I knew how to type. I said no. They said then learn, and that’s what I did with the IBM Model C on my desk, using the key chart and lessons my mother had used in secretarial school (which was a thing back then) about 25 years earlier. A lot of typing three letter words over and over.
Then I had to type on five sheet multicolored manifold forms. Any mistake meant starting over or fixing it on every sheet.
The army is Socialist.
emjayay
Excellent comments as usual.
Also inexplicably bad commenting system format divorcing replies from the original comment.
As my calculus prof used to say Whywhywhywhywhy?
Timill
@emjayay:
@emjayay:
So how do you thread a comment that’s a reply to two or more comments?