This diagram (from here, via, click to embiggen) tells us some informative new things about female anatomy, and it’s also good to know that Republicans are at the forefront of science, and have now defined pregnancy as beginning two weeks before conception in Arizona.
Elizabelle
Tee hee.
Felinious Wench
Two weeks before conception, most women are having their periods.
Women, how do the darn things work?
Narcissus
spastic tubes jesus christ
hep kitty
Thanks, ladies, for stabbing the rest of us in the back!
Jan is past her child-bearing years and nobody wants to have sex w/ her bony old body anyway. And I assume Ms. Yee, if married, has a passel of kids already and will continue to spit out those babies like a good republican gal, am I right? Otherwise, she’s a virgin, no?
You are a disgrace to the women’s movement that made it possible for you to be where you are right now.
If anyone deserves to be perpetually pregnant (or miserably menopausal), barefoot and in the kitchen, it’s you.
rikyrah
misogyny 101
Elizabelle
They left out the part that gets infections in trenches.
Newt Gingrich told me that’s why women are unsuitable for combat.
hep kitty
@Felinious Wench: Tis a mystery indeed!
Jacquelyn
So do I get to sue the state of Arizona for child support? I was there in 2004 for a week and it was, well, THAT week!
Applejinx
I love how careful they are to point out that raped women are more TIGHT. That is just awesome. And by awesome I mean god DAMN is that creepy.
beltane
@Elizabelle: Newt himself has suffered from many of these infections so he has some knowledge of the subject. However, while he may tell his wives these infections resulted from fighting in trenches (is this what it’s called these days?), none of us should take his words at face value.
Villago Delenda Est
@Elizabelle:
Yes, and Newt’s experience in combat makes John Wayne look like John Kerry.
TheMightyTrowel
@Elizabelle: no no no. what newt actually meant is that sometimes, in trenches, the spastic tubes get loose. And you know in a war zone you won’t find a mechanic to wind them up again.
arguingwithsignposts
@beltane: The less said about Newt Gingrich, “trenches” and infections, the better, tyvm.
MattF
It’s the desert heat– keeps folks awake at night, listening to their neurons pop.
Anon
Just saw this: shirtoid.com/25981/alien-reproductive-rights/
Which goes with hijinksensue.com/2009/07/31/lo-fijinks-the-secret-life-of-the-xenomorph-teenager/
There’s got to be a way to fit it in this debate somewhere.
Wag
By defining pregnancy as starting in the first day of a woman’s period, the number of miscarriages in AZ took an exponential increase. Now, any cycle that fails to produce a pregnancy is, in fact, a miscarriage.
This law is a miscarriage of justice.
Robin G.
I am totally fine with these anti-abortion laws. They have completely brought me over to their line of thinking. I shall now go forth to help craft their legislation — which I assume is in the works — requiring by law for each female between the age of thirteen and fifty-five to register a monthly pregnancy test with a local life office, so that a present zygote may be accounted for and issued a social security number. If the zygote goes missing for any reason, there will, of course, be a full investigation as to whether there has been Wrongful Death by malice or neglect. We have to ask these questions, after all. We certainly do whenever a baby dies of SIDS, and it’s the exact same thing. And of course no one will object to having their taxes raised to pay for these vital new agencies.
I can’t wait for the resultant NBC crime drama.
Zach
It would be useful to annotate this chart with positive quotes about Mitt Romney from most of the same people.
hep kitty
@Applejinx: Since there is absolutely no scientific evidence to back this up, they do appear to have thought (obsessed?) about the subject way, way, way too much. The fact that they are clearly also impotent must be terribly frustrating. I suppose that explains the rabid misogyny.
Steeplejack
@Robin G.:
CSI: Uterus.
Ash Can
@hep kitty: If Ms. Yee were ever to find herself in need of abortion services, well, that would be entirely different than the cases of all those other sluts getting abortions with wild abandon. And sure, it would be an inconvenience to have to get on a plane and go to another state, but that’s a sacrifice she’d be willing to make for the purpose of preventing all those other sluts from getting abortions for bad reasons, unlike her getting one for good reasons.
JPL
OT..Did anyone watch the tape interview with Ann and Mitt Romney on CBS news this morning?
Since my focus was not on the TV, I might have not heard correctly but she told what she thought was a touching story.
She woke up at 3 in the morning and could recognize that she was having a miscarriage. She didn’t want to disturb Mitt so woke him at 6. They prepared the boys for school and told them she was losing the child and had to go to the hospital. She was so touched when her ten year old son came home from school he burst into tears. He had help back his tears all day.
Hopefully, I did mishear this story but what idiot tells especially a ten year old that hey..go to school, the brother/sister you wanted is not to be.
edit.. i haven’t been able to find the video yet..
empathy ..what’s that
Felinious Wench
@Wag: Lol!
I just want to pull some of these women aside and say “Bless your heart, sweet pea, did no one ever teach you how your body works? Let’s get a piece of paper and some colored pencils and a calendar, and we’ll go over it together.”
My wonderful mother made sure I knew everything about how my body works. I taught my friends with “just keep your legs together” parents.
Felinious Wench
@hep kitty: “You are a disgrace to the women’s movement that made it possible for you to be where you are right now.”
Preach it, sister.
rlrr
spastic tubes – band name
hep kitty
why am I stuck in moderation? it’s just an MST3k clip :(
Ash Can
@JPL: Meh. On the one hand, I can see how she would have been upset, tired, and not thinking clearly. On the other, yes, I would have expected her to sugar-coat it for a 10-year-old. What strikes me as truly weird is not waking Mitt. If I were in a situation where I had to get to the hospital, damn right I’d wake M-80, and he’d be pissed if I didn’t.
hep kitty
@Felinious Wench: And yet no one, no one calls them out on it. Ever.
hep kitty
@JPL: I saw some bits of an Ann/Mitt clip last night> They were trying really hard to talk about him doing his laundry and how he buys shirts at Costco. It was really painful to watch them just mentally squirming. And they were working at it, you could see they were giving it their best effort. :)
hep kitty
@arguingwithsignposts: I totally love the fact that he had to admit last nite to Tweety that more whites receive welfare than minorities. I really hope the Obama campaign doesn’t miss that one.
Tweety was on a roll all night about the dog whistles, I saw Newt squirm a bit which was priceless!
Hill Dweller
@JPL: Telling that story publicly is so transparently manipulative I can’t imagine it doing anything but hurting.
JPL
@hep kitty: At least they didn’t go play golf.
hep kitty
@Robin G.: By jove, I like the cut of your jib!
Valdivia
@Steeplejack:
you win the day sir.
El Cid
Start changing the language from negative to positive government actions:
Let’s get around the weak terminology about “abortion” and specify that this is what they want.
SBJules
This just makes me so sad. We were taught about “our lady parts” in junior high school. I wish I could laugh it off.
Misterpuff
@El Cid: They can use the abandoned FEMA camps as birthing and foundling centers AKA concentration camps for fertile females.
El Cid
@Misterpuff: No, no, they’re not interested in spending any government money aiding the gestation of the fetus while within its birthing module; the fun only comes from using government to punish poor women who fail to properly gestate and birth their successful impregnation.
It’s not about helping the fetus; it’s about punishing women. Where’s the fun in helping embryos? You can’t even see them.
Poor women, women of color, and any women who in any way seems defiant or lippy or whatever — those we can all either see or imagine them in anguish and suffering.
Hell, it’s not like we want all these poor and colored babies to actually survive after birth and grow up and all. After the woman serves her gestation purpose, well, they can all go to hell.
maya
Well, at least they had the good sense to stay out of the PMS minefield. Remember when that was the topic of much humor on sit-com TV; All in the Family, Roseanne. But those were Liberal shows so I guess good Repo-women don’t get cranky once a month. They just serve meatloaf for dinner those days.
ruemara
@Applejinx: Glad I’m not the only one who thought was both creepy and sounded like a recommendation.
mamayaga
If Ann Romney had an ounce of empathy or imagination she’d think about what it would be like to suffer a miscarriage and then have to prove to legal authorities that it was an honest, legitimate miscarriage and not an illegal abortion. That is the logical end step in the whole push to make abortion illegal. Any woman who’d had a miscarriage would come under suspicion. And miscarriages are very common.
hep kitty
@El Cid: Wow, I know this is what they are doing, but reading the actual language really hits home and is so sickening. For the first time in my life, I’m glad I’m an old chick.
They are out to kill pregnant women, no? Can’t we say that? Because any woman who isn’t decent enough to get raped, impregnated and not carry that baby to full term because she might die as a result really does not deserve to live anyway, amirite?
hep kitty
@SBJules: I keep saying, it’s just amazing this is happening in 2012 because, according to my mom, back in the 30’s in the south, the PP lady used to visit my grandmother and other ladies in town and hand out condoms and nobody thought a thing about it.
This was the south! Also, it was the depression. Somehow, I don’t think people were so sold on the idea of large families at that particular moment in time. My grandmother had 2 children.
Hypatia's Momma
@mamayaga:
And some miscarriages may require medical intervention; a missed abortion, for example.
The Republicans would prefer that one either bleed to death or die from an infected uterus than receive a D&C to remove necrotic tissue.
El Cid
@hep kitty: They don’t want it to be left to women to decide which offspring they will bear and from whom.
That’s an issue for the tribal patriarchy to decide, and the only way to make sure that this is always the norm and unquestioned is to make all levels of the tribe obedient to the general principle.
At no point may women consider the breeding process the province of their own decision-making; unfortunately old rules about legally enforceable tribal rules over with whom the females may have sex and under what conditions have mostly lapsed, but at the very least they can stake their claim on control of the generation of offspring.
hep kitty
@El Cid: Well, hell, pretty sure I’m no longer breeding material. Wonder what they would do with me? Set me out on an ice floe? I suppose they might let me live if I became a midwife but I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin babies.
Interrobang
@Robin G.: You think you’re joking, but that’s pretty much exactly what happened in Ceaucescu’s Romania. And we know how that turned out. The thing is, Republicans think that it’s better to have overcrowded orphanages full of sick, damaged children than any abortion (or, for most of them, birth control) at all.
On another topic from the thread, the only response I could think of from Elizabelle’s comment “They left out the part that gets infections in trenches.” was, “What, now Newt Gingrich thinks women don’t have feet?”
WaterGirl
@Applejinx: I know. I completely cringed hen I heard Akin saying “tight” earlier this week. I could not believe that no one else had seized on that line along with the others. Ick ick ick.
Edit: I believe I heard Akin say that in his full comments, but maybe it was just the guy he was quoting. Whoever it was, when I saw this old white guy saying those words on TV, it was awful.
quannlace
Wow, witchcraft and lesbianism? Thanks for letting me know, Rev. robertson!
As to the other, I prefer to switch things around and leave my children and kill my husband.
Hypatia's Momma
@WaterGirl:
In a classic “my brain is out to get me” maneuver, I keep thinking, “How the fuck would you know?”.
dance around in your bones
I am just SO tired of these retro XY chromosomal types inserting themselves (HAH!) into the private decisions of us XX chromosomal types.
I have even MORE scorn and repugnance for the XX chromosomal types who deign to make decisions for people they have never met, have no idea of their life conditions or circumstances, and yet……………somehow feel free to dictate from upon high that it’s their way or the highway.
Walk a mile in the moccasins, mothafukas. Really, just try it out.
Can’t they get it?? It’s PERSONAL, and UNIQUE to every woman and it’s none of your DAMN BUSINESS!!! Go adopt a baby if you feel so strongly about it.
Or do your part to make sure that easily available contraception might, JUST FUCKING MIGHT make abortion less necessary.